Re: UWF Royal Rumble - Rumble Trashtalking
The Miz delivers a fake cough to draw attention back to him. He strokes his beard/stubble and once again stands before John Cena
The Miz: *Ahem* Anyhoo... John, John, John. Why do I get the feeling you and I aren’t gonna agree about this? I can yell at you about being the embodiment of the new era, you can yell back at me all night about hustle, loyalty and respect, and in the end all we’ll get is sore throats. When it comes down to it, the only way we can really settle this; is at the Royal Rumble. Miz and Cena, future and present, tomorrow and today, the FUTURE of this company and the status quo. There’s only room for one of us at the main-event at Wrestlemania, and d'you what? I can visualise myself there. In my minds eye I can see myself throwing the last remaining opponent over the top rope at the Rumble... I can visualise myself walking out at the main-event at Wrestlemania and I can see – clear as day- me becoming the World Champion, but John… I just can’t SEE you there… (as The Miz says 'see' he gestures his hand back and forth in front of his face in Cena's trademark style). But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. I'm really looking forward to watching you in the tag team title match at 'mania. Sure to be an old fashioned barn-burner!
Miz smirks smugly at Cena before turning away from him
The Miz: Now, gentlemen, can you excuse me for a moment?
The Miz looks around to make sure no one is about to jump in, he then makes his way out of the ring, down the steps and goes over to the crowd. He begins to pick people out of the crowd at random.
The Miz: Excuse me sir, what’s your name
Guy: Pete!
The Miz: Where you from Pete?
Guy: I’m from Phoenix!
The Miz: And how you feeling tonight Pete?
Guy: I’m feeling great, woo!!
The Miz: Thank you very much (he moves on to someone else) and you sir, what’s your name?
Guy 2: Carl, woo!
The Miz: Good to know ya Carl, whereabouts you from?
Guy 2: I’m here from Tucson
The Miz: Tell me Carl, how you feeling tonight man?
Guy 2: I’m good man, ROYAL RUMMMMBBBBBLLE!
The Miz: Yes it certainly is! And what about you Miss? (He settles on a young lady in the front row)
Girl: Heyyyyy Miz! I’m Carrie
The Miz: Where ya from Carrie?
Girl: I’m here all the way from L-A!
The Miz: LA huh? No kidding. And how are you feeling tonight?
Girl: (Pulling Miz’s arm towards her so she can yell straight into the mic) I’m feeling, AWWWWWESOME!!
The crowd cheer as The Miz taps his cheek inviting the young lady to give him a kiss, which she duly does; he then turns his attention back to the ring making his way back up the steps as he speaks
The Miz: Nice to hear from some of the lovely people of Arizona and beyond, and did you notice how upbeat they all were? All happy to be here, unlike… Eddie Guerrero
Eddie, I’m in no way suggesting that you’re not telling the truth about your mental state, in fact it’s clear for all to see that you are completely unhinged, but my problem? You act like it means you should get special treatment. You say you’ve got pain and struggle, grievances, a mental affliction? Well whoop-ee-doo “ese’â€, welcome to the REAL WORLD! You remember Pete, Carl and Carrie down there? Normal people, nice people, but you can bet your ass they’ve had their fair share of pain and struggle. Everybody has, that’s the world we live in today. It’s hard, it’s tough and often it sucks but do you know what? Pete, Carl and Carrie are getting on with it! They’re still having a great time, hell; they’re having an AWWWWWESOME time! You go on about your “mental affliction†like you're the only one despite the fact it's clear Rhino has low-level Tourette's syndrome resulting in him shouting “GORE†constantly for no reason. But you… You think that the world should wobble on its axis just cause you’ve had a bad week? How about you stop being such a whiney, self-important, little drama queen? Then, MAYBE then, I’ll consider you a threat. The fact of the matter is Eddie, you're so rusty and out of your game there's a good chance you'll probably be thrown out of the Rumble match before I've even had a chance to get my hands on you. If that turns out to be the case you can consider it a lucky escape...
Speaking of lucky escapes, I think we all thought we'd gotten one when Edge FINALLY made his way out of the ring and to the back. He was really killing the mood around here. But like the proverbial bad penny that he is he appears on the titantron just when we thought it was safe and stinks the place out again. Edge and Christian huh? Remember when we used to like these guys? Or at least tolerate them. Now they're having a private competition to see who can take that title as UWF's greatest deluded soul. Although he was right about one thing, I can see him having an impact on this Royal Rumble, I can see him making his mark, in fact I can see him doing something like this
He turns everyone's attention back to the titantron
[video=youtube;gU5Lf21sf_g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU5Lf21sf_g[/video]
That's right ladies and gentlemen, I predict Edge's great legacy in the 2013 UWF Royal Rumble will be the quickest elimination, in HISTORY!
For the moment Edge has left the ring and I'm sure we're all pretty happy about that, but I must say I wish Double J, Jeff Jarrett had hung around in the ring just a little longer. Jeff there's a lot of guys in this company that I flat-out hate, but I gotta say that you're not one of them. I watched a lot of your matches when I was growing up and I had a lot of respect for you. Problem is now I view you... kinda like an old drunk uncle at a wedding. Y'know rambling on with all his stories of past conquests, trying to pick a fight, forgetting about it, stealing a guitar and trying to sing, trying to pick another fight, then just slipping away into a dark corner to pass out. What I'd suggest is that you find a dark corner somewhere in the arena that you like, cause after you pick a fight with me, I'll have no choice but to throw your blonde ass right out of the match, and after that you're gonna need a quite place to run and hide.
Miz walks over to the side of the ring and leans of the ropes, addressing Rhino
Rhino you said that while we've all been out here running our mouths you've been resting and preparing for the match? Well Rhino I'll let you into a little secret about why you're such a perennial failure; what we're doing out here right now is MENTAL preparation, getting inside each others heads. Trying to beat your opponents before you even step into the ring. That is the way champions approach matches, not just by locking yourself up in a gym for two weeks. That's why you'll remain the stupid, muscle-bound, freak that you are, cause you're not smart enough to raise your game...
He turns back to face the ring and walks casually into the middle of it
The clock is ticking gentlemen, the hour of reckoning approaches. Rhino was at least right about one thing; the time for talking is almost over and as I look around this ring it becomes increasingly obvious to me that I have NOTHING to fear going into the Rumble match. Some of you have conceded already, I can see it in your eyes. Fear has taken over, fear of this match and what it means. Your fear of failure has eclipsed your hunger for success. And I can see it, and during the match, I'll exploit it. If you've anything left to say to me gentlemen say it now; this is your one last chance to show me that you've not already surrendered!
The drops his arms down to his side and looks around awaiting a response...
The Miz: *Ahem* Anyhoo... John, John, John. Why do I get the feeling you and I aren’t gonna agree about this? I can yell at you about being the embodiment of the new era, you can yell back at me all night about hustle, loyalty and respect, and in the end all we’ll get is sore throats. When it comes down to it, the only way we can really settle this; is at the Royal Rumble. Miz and Cena, future and present, tomorrow and today, the FUTURE of this company and the status quo. There’s only room for one of us at the main-event at Wrestlemania, and d'you what? I can visualise myself there. In my minds eye I can see myself throwing the last remaining opponent over the top rope at the Rumble... I can visualise myself walking out at the main-event at Wrestlemania and I can see – clear as day- me becoming the World Champion, but John… I just can’t SEE you there… (as The Miz says 'see' he gestures his hand back and forth in front of his face in Cena's trademark style). But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. I'm really looking forward to watching you in the tag team title match at 'mania. Sure to be an old fashioned barn-burner!
Miz smirks smugly at Cena before turning away from him
The Miz: Now, gentlemen, can you excuse me for a moment?
The Miz looks around to make sure no one is about to jump in, he then makes his way out of the ring, down the steps and goes over to the crowd. He begins to pick people out of the crowd at random.
The Miz: Excuse me sir, what’s your name
Guy: Pete!
The Miz: Where you from Pete?
Guy: I’m from Phoenix!
The Miz: And how you feeling tonight Pete?
Guy: I’m feeling great, woo!!
The Miz: Thank you very much (he moves on to someone else) and you sir, what’s your name?
Guy 2: Carl, woo!
The Miz: Good to know ya Carl, whereabouts you from?
Guy 2: I’m here from Tucson
The Miz: Tell me Carl, how you feeling tonight man?
Guy 2: I’m good man, ROYAL RUMMMMBBBBBLLE!
The Miz: Yes it certainly is! And what about you Miss? (He settles on a young lady in the front row)
Girl: Heyyyyy Miz! I’m Carrie
The Miz: Where ya from Carrie?
Girl: I’m here all the way from L-A!
The Miz: LA huh? No kidding. And how are you feeling tonight?
Girl: (Pulling Miz’s arm towards her so she can yell straight into the mic) I’m feeling, AWWWWWESOME!!
The crowd cheer as The Miz taps his cheek inviting the young lady to give him a kiss, which she duly does; he then turns his attention back to the ring making his way back up the steps as he speaks
The Miz: Nice to hear from some of the lovely people of Arizona and beyond, and did you notice how upbeat they all were? All happy to be here, unlike… Eddie Guerrero
Eddie, I’m in no way suggesting that you’re not telling the truth about your mental state, in fact it’s clear for all to see that you are completely unhinged, but my problem? You act like it means you should get special treatment. You say you’ve got pain and struggle, grievances, a mental affliction? Well whoop-ee-doo “ese’â€, welcome to the REAL WORLD! You remember Pete, Carl and Carrie down there? Normal people, nice people, but you can bet your ass they’ve had their fair share of pain and struggle. Everybody has, that’s the world we live in today. It’s hard, it’s tough and often it sucks but do you know what? Pete, Carl and Carrie are getting on with it! They’re still having a great time, hell; they’re having an AWWWWWESOME time! You go on about your “mental affliction†like you're the only one despite the fact it's clear Rhino has low-level Tourette's syndrome resulting in him shouting “GORE†constantly for no reason. But you… You think that the world should wobble on its axis just cause you’ve had a bad week? How about you stop being such a whiney, self-important, little drama queen? Then, MAYBE then, I’ll consider you a threat. The fact of the matter is Eddie, you're so rusty and out of your game there's a good chance you'll probably be thrown out of the Rumble match before I've even had a chance to get my hands on you. If that turns out to be the case you can consider it a lucky escape...
Speaking of lucky escapes, I think we all thought we'd gotten one when Edge FINALLY made his way out of the ring and to the back. He was really killing the mood around here. But like the proverbial bad penny that he is he appears on the titantron just when we thought it was safe and stinks the place out again. Edge and Christian huh? Remember when we used to like these guys? Or at least tolerate them. Now they're having a private competition to see who can take that title as UWF's greatest deluded soul. Although he was right about one thing, I can see him having an impact on this Royal Rumble, I can see him making his mark, in fact I can see him doing something like this
He turns everyone's attention back to the titantron
[video=youtube;gU5Lf21sf_g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU5Lf21sf_g[/video]
That's right ladies and gentlemen, I predict Edge's great legacy in the 2013 UWF Royal Rumble will be the quickest elimination, in HISTORY!
For the moment Edge has left the ring and I'm sure we're all pretty happy about that, but I must say I wish Double J, Jeff Jarrett had hung around in the ring just a little longer. Jeff there's a lot of guys in this company that I flat-out hate, but I gotta say that you're not one of them. I watched a lot of your matches when I was growing up and I had a lot of respect for you. Problem is now I view you... kinda like an old drunk uncle at a wedding. Y'know rambling on with all his stories of past conquests, trying to pick a fight, forgetting about it, stealing a guitar and trying to sing, trying to pick another fight, then just slipping away into a dark corner to pass out. What I'd suggest is that you find a dark corner somewhere in the arena that you like, cause after you pick a fight with me, I'll have no choice but to throw your blonde ass right out of the match, and after that you're gonna need a quite place to run and hide.
Miz walks over to the side of the ring and leans of the ropes, addressing Rhino
Rhino you said that while we've all been out here running our mouths you've been resting and preparing for the match? Well Rhino I'll let you into a little secret about why you're such a perennial failure; what we're doing out here right now is MENTAL preparation, getting inside each others heads. Trying to beat your opponents before you even step into the ring. That is the way champions approach matches, not just by locking yourself up in a gym for two weeks. That's why you'll remain the stupid, muscle-bound, freak that you are, cause you're not smart enough to raise your game...
He turns back to face the ring and walks casually into the middle of it
The clock is ticking gentlemen, the hour of reckoning approaches. Rhino was at least right about one thing; the time for talking is almost over and as I look around this ring it becomes increasingly obvious to me that I have NOTHING to fear going into the Rumble match. Some of you have conceded already, I can see it in your eyes. Fear has taken over, fear of this match and what it means. Your fear of failure has eclipsed your hunger for success. And I can see it, and during the match, I'll exploit it. If you've anything left to say to me gentlemen say it now; this is your one last chance to show me that you've not already surrendered!
The drops his arms down to his side and looks around awaiting a response...