Entry #62
Triple H (c) vs. Scott Steiner
for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
WWE Royal Rumble - January 19, 2003
This, however, WAS the match I was going to talk about! Triple H vs. Scott Steiner won WON's Worst Match of the Year award in 2003, and the fact that that was decided by people who watched Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie immediately before this speaks volumes. At least there was Angle/Benoit right after this, otherwise this PPV would be remembered as a suckfest. Let's watch the two men who provided most suck in this suckfest: the Reign of Terror era HHH and roid-inflated Scott Steiner!
The pop Steiner gets lasts about a quarter of the way through his entrance. In fact, during the initial staredown, more people are chanting for HHH (the heel). There's an early exchange of punches which Steiner dominates. He does a gorilla press takeover (which I think was meant to be a gorilla press slam but HHH was slipping off to the side anyway). Now brawling on the outside, Steiner hits a clothesline before going for punches that clearly leave light years before hitting HHH, no matter what angle WWE's camera guys show of them. He throws HHH against a bunch of the furniture back-first, then brings him back in wtih a vertical suplex for two. Steiner continues to target HHH's back with forearms and an Irish whip.
Steiner goes for a Boston crab, but he's immobile enough that he can't bend HHH's back at all. HHH gets a kneeling facebuster but Steiner no-sells it completely. Steiner uses a bearhug, because yes, it is the 1970s. HHH needs an eye rake to get out, but then Steiner hits
Belly-to-Belly Suplex #1 for two. He tries to set up the Steiner Recliner but Flair drags HHH out of the ring. More Steiner domination until HHH gets a surprise boot out of the corner (this gets a pop. Again, HHH is the heel). HHH stomps away and tosses Steiner out, clattering him into some steel steps. Back in the ring, HHH hits
HHH Neckbreaker #1 for two. Ref distraction so Flair can choke Steiner with his suit jacket.
HHH Neckbreaker #2 for two.
HHH goes for a rope choke, and when the ref takes him off it, Flair uses the distraction to continue the job. HHH goes for the Pedigree but can't lift Steiner up, Steiner hits a catapult and then
Steiner Belly-to-Belly Suplex #2. He teases a piledriver but can't keep HHH up, who hits
HHH Neckbreaker #3. Triple H goes for a flying nothing to set up
Steiner Belly-to-Belly Suplex #3. More punches and clotheslines until Steiner gets a back body drop. This is followed by
Steiner Belly-to-Belly Suplexes #4,
#5, and
#6. Crowd is booing by the end of this (reminder: Steiner is the face). More hair-pull attacks into the corner, then
Steiner Belly-to-Belly Suplex #7. Steiner teases a Pedigree of his own, converts it into a double underhook powerbomb... oh wait, no he doesn't, he botches it and falls on his ass. The booing is getting louder.
Steiner hits a superplex for a very close two. Flair tries to drag HHH away so he can retain by count-out, but Steiner bowls them both over. While the ref is busy with Flair, HHH goes for a belt shot, but Steiner counters it and hits HHH with the belt instead. Steiner walk-and-brawls a now-bleeding HHH back to the ring for
Steiner Belly-to-Belly Suplex #8. HHH tries to run into the crowd but Steiner walk-and-brawls him back. He then teases using a chair, but chooses not to. Back in the ring, he does push-ups in front of his opponent. Flair requests a referee stoppage due to bleeding... wouldn't that make Steiner the champion? Referee stoppages are weird, sometimes they're a win, sometimes they're not.
HHH bumps the referee because of fucking course he does. Hebner rolls back in, but refuses to throw the match out because that would mean HHH kept the title. Counterpoint, Hebner: it would stop this match.
Steiner Belly-to-Belly Suplex #9 for two. Flair distracts the referee while a downed HHH hits a low blow and a rollup for two. HHH grabs the sledgehammer, and despite the ref's insistence, he uses it anyway on Steiner, which finally draws the DQ. Which means there's going to be a rematch. Yay. Steiner hits HHH and Flair with the hammer, locks in a Steiner Recliner, and that's your lot.
That match dragged. Scott Steiner wasn't exactly the ring worker he once was or anything, but surely he could do something more than belly-to-belly suplexes and brawl. Hell, the point of him working the back was for the Steiner Recliner. He went for it exactly once, and then never again. What was the point?