Entry #29
Sting/Rick Steiner/Scott Steiner/El Gigante vs. Big Van Vader/Cactus Jack/Abdullah the Butcher/The Diamond Studd
Chamber of Horrors Match
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 27, 1991
It'd be wrong to let Halloween pass without looking at a stinker of a Halloween Havoc match. Actually, Halloween Havoc 1991 was a bit of a dud of a PPV. C-show tier matches on PPV (did we really need Johnny B. Badd vs. Jimmy Garvin and Big Josh/PN News vs. the Creatures?), quality matches going over badly (botched finish in Austin vs. Rhodes, Pillman vs. Morton being boring, Luger vs. Simmons having a FUCKING top rope DQ as one of its 3 falls) and a couple of awful short matches (which I'm sure we'll cover here). But this is the main one everyone thinks of for why Halloween Havoc sucked. A Chamber of Horrors match, and we'll find out what that is soon. This isn't even the original lineup; the heel team was meant to feature Barry Windham, One Man Gang, and Oz(??????). Vader, Cactus Jack, and Abdullah must have hated being shuffled into this.
We get the inimitable voice of Gary Michael Cappetta explaining this match. So basically, this match is confined to a Chamber of Horrors (a cage), which is equipped with several Instruments of Torture (weapons). The winner is the first person to put an opponent in the Chair of Torture (an electric chair) and pull the Fatal Lever (the switch for the electric chair) which will Render the Opponent Helpless (literally execute them with electricity). I'm guessing they couldn't advertise a wrestler was going to Actually For-Real Die tonight, but they're dancing around the fact that that is what will in kayfabe happen. Not much of note during the entrances except that Vader wears his awesome NJPW entrance mask. I'm a big fan of that one.
Already the rules explanation is wrong, as the heels start a brawl outside of the cage. Rick Steiner tries to use Cactus Jack's chainsaw but gives up and just goes into the ring. And we get one of the main problems with this match... the "Refer-Eye" camera. Basically, they put the 1991 equivalent of a GoPro on the referee so we could see the action close-up. Except that IMMEDIATELY causes us to miss a spot, a guy in a black hood jumping out of a coffin in the ring and getting wrecked by the Steiners. This is already quite chaotic. Studd tries to climb the cage (which has a roof, and even if you could escape you wouldn't win). The referee cam is already not working properly, there's static on half the screen.
We get the Chair of Torture lowered down (how's it going to electrocute anyone if it's not wired up to anything?). The first real danger in this match is Cactus Jack potentially getting crushed under the mini-cage where the Chair is. And then the match grinds to a halt because there's no room to wrestle with another cage in the middle of the ring. Jim Ross repeatedly confuses Scott Steiner for Rick Steiner, which is the sort of mistake he wouldn't make again until... pretty much every AEW appearance he's ever made. Sting tosses a coffin lid right on the top of Cactus Jack's noggin. A bunch of ghouls (that is, WCW staff in corpse paint and white outfits) come out with a stretcher. Abdullah tries to climb the cage for some reason. Ref cam gets a good shot of El Gigante's back and Studd having taken a back bump on the coffin (of course, we missed that too).
Scott Steiner busts a kendo stick (I think it's a kendo stick, might be Abdullah's voodoo staff/mop thing, I can't tell) over Cactus Jack's head. A crimson-masked Cactus and Sting battle on the cage wall. Turns out another hooded dude has come out of the coffin but has been handcuffed to the cage wall by the Steiners. Apparently it happened with a Slinky, given how springy the bindings look. Further Cactus Jack adventures: he's tossed over the top rope by Sting and throws himself into the cage wall and on to the floor. Would have been nice to see those bumps while not being distracted by six other people, huh? Quick cut to the ref cam, which captures zero action.
After a quick tease of Sting getting fried, commentary points out the switch for the first time... and it shows clear as day that it's fallen over into the "on" position!
What a joke of a match this is. Abdullah's bleeding profusely, too (but that's only natural). We get about 20 seconds of El Gigante slowly walking around the ring trying to chase down Studd before Vader hits him with the broken stick. Then a shot of the ghouls, and one reminds me of Arn Anderson for some reason. Abdullah appears to be trying to cut Sting's throat. Cactus Jack climbs for the switch, which someone has helpfully reset off camera. Sting pulls him down... and the switch falls to "on" again!!
This match would be amazing if it weren't so bad.
Action is now seriously hard to follow. Not helping is the ref cam. Rick Steiner's almost in the chair, with Vader and Studd pushing him, but Scott and Gigante come in to stop him. Very noticeable in the back of the camera shot is a staff member trying his hardest to tape the switch back up! Cactus Jack's climbing for the switch while Rick Steiner's in the chair... but he doesn't look around to see if he's still in there, because by the time he throws the switch Abdullah is in there! We get a bunch of pyro and Abdullah convulsing... which sure is a better special effect than TNA's electrified cage match (note to self: write up the TNA electrified cage match). Post-match, Cactus Jack wakes Abdullah up (from BEING ELECTROCUTED, I remind you), but Abdullah wipes him out, and all the ghouls for good measure. They brawl to the back as if one of them didn't get zapped.
This could honestly have been so-bad-it's-good if it hadn't been for so many production botches and everything being so cluttered. As it is, it's so-bad-it's-silly. Still nowhere near the bottom of the list though, there were some acceptable things.
