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Entry #75
Triple H (c) vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Edge
for the WWE Championship
WWE Survivor Series - November 23, 2008
Triple H (c) vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Edge
for the WWE Championship
WWE Survivor Series - November 23, 2008
The last remaining Survivor Series disaster (so far) was this match in 2008. The WON Worst Match of the Year, on a show that earned WON Worst Show of the Year, and in circumstances that earned a certain other award. This match started as Triple H vs. boring monster heel Vladimir Kozlov, and then became a triple threat involving Jeff Hardy. But then, on the early morning of the show, WWE.com featured this genuine article.
Jeff Hardy was found unconscious in a stairwell at his hotel in Boston today, and was rushed to the nearest emergency room.
Due to privacy issues, WWE is not releasing the name of the hospital.
WWE.com will have more information as it becomes available.
They didn't say outright that Jeff Hardy had suffered a drug overdose, but they did nothing to dissuade the thought. The fans knew Jeff Hardy had problems with drugs, and WWE wanted them to think about that. And by the verbal language of the announcement (e.g. saying "hospital" instead of "local medical facility") they wanted the fans to think this was 100% real. However, it was completely kayfabe. WWE acted like Jeff Hardy had had an actual drug overdose in order to create intrigue around who would replace him and pop a PPV buyrate. Yuck.
....and after all that, I still haven't talked about the match, which is now back down to unlikeable babyface Triple H and charisma void Kozlov. Yay. It's Survivor Series, so let's try to survive this one!
Kozlov's entrance is truly, agonisingly quiet. JR on commentary calls the spinner belt the richest prize in all of WWE. "We want Jeff" chants to start. This starts incredibly basic. Kozlov applies a wristlock, HHH slaps on a headlock, Kozlov briefly rolls for a one-count. We're not even two minutes in and we're already in rest hold city. As Kozlov finally breaks out of the headlock, the first "boring" chants of the match are heard. Takeover, staredown. "We want Hardy" chants. HHH counters Kozlov's wristlock into a hammerlock which lasts for quite a while. Kozlov is able to briefly break free but HHH takes over again. This is why Hunter's not meant to be a babyface. His offence is naturally heelish. "Jeff please stay clean" sign seen in the crowd. "Boring" chants return.
Kozlov pushes HHH into the corner but misses a weak-looking shoulder barge, and HHH immediately starts working the arm again. Kozlov pushes out and starts shoulder-pushing (I can't call it charging) HHH in the corner, as the "boring" chants are much louder this time. HHH whips Kozlov and hits a flying knee, for which the crowd wakes up momentarily. HHH hits a series of corner splashes, a kneeling facebuster, and a DDT. As Kozlov wobbles under HHH's punches, fans start a TNA chant!! I believe this is one of only three matches in WWE history with audible TNA chants (the first was the Extreme Elimination Chamber, while the third is for a future entry).
JR is generous to this match by saying there's "nothing fancy" in it and HHH is using a "deliberate pace". HHH hits a spinebuster, hits the taunt button, and teases the Pedigree, but Kozlov counters with a headbutt. "Boring" chants again. Kozlov tosses HHH to the outside, which naturally leads to more downtime until Kozlov retrieves his opponent, shoulder-charges him into everything upright, and rolls him back in. Kozlov hits a fallaway slam for two. More shoulder charging. More headbutts. The crowd is clearly sick of this. Kozlov's running powerslam draws a near fall. HHH fights up from the resulting waistlock (rest holds, again?) but Kozlov punches him in the lower back and hits multiple backbreakers for two.
Another waistlock. For a moment it sounds like WWE starts piping in crowd noise. Another Kozlov powerslam for two. ANOTHER waistlock. The "We want Hardy" chants ring out. HHH breaks out, but Kozlov strikes the lower back AGAIN and hits a belly-to-belly. Kozlov misses a headbutt in the corner, HHH hits a Pedigree, and both men are down.
Out comes Vickie Guerrero. "This will be a triple threat match... Ladies and gentlemen, he's here!". They knew what they were doing with this. Crowd gets incredibly hyped that they may get to see Jeff Hardy after all! ...and out comes Edge. Admittedly, it's a recently-returned-from-injury Edge, so there's a couple of cheers, but meh. He teases a spear for about a minute, looking like his eyes will pop out, until HHH finally stands up to eat the spear. Edge goes for the cover... but JEFF HARDY COMES OUT to attack Edge! Fans finally get on their feet! Hardy wrecks everyone with a chair until Edge spears him. That's it, Edge is the champion of a match he wasn't even in. La Familia is reunited. And the fans are cheated.
I mean... Not only is it boring, there's so many factors that make it offputting. The false advertising. The fact that it's not even a case that Hardy wasn't cleared. Vladimir Kozlov is in it. I strongly disliked my experience watching this.
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