WCW Rules' Review of comicgeekelly's POI 24
Okay, second show I'm reviewing here, so pardon my ignorance regarding some of your ongoing feuds and such.
Starting off with a match, are we? A Grudge Match too, no doubt. First off, the opening description didn't flow too well, IMO. Is this in recap form or full, because I'm quite confused as to the specifics. No transitions used to aid the match either, so no marks. You must use transitions if you wish to improve on your matches, my friend, or else they'll be quite repetitive and boring to read. Joey Styles coming interfering in the middle and calling it Falls Count Anywhere Match came out of the blue, quite frankly. I understand it's a Grudge Match, but this was too quick and sudden, and Styles came to no descriptive fanfare and such. To be honest, the opening action was.... meh. It entailed no reasoning, logic, and everything came across as, unimportant. There was no impact in the match, meaning, nothing had happened that made the match worth it. Sorry man, but this match was below average. I know you can do better.
Hmm.. so the second round of the IC Title Tourney will commence next week? Interesting; hopefully you can write the matches well. Aries/Williams piques my interest more than the other matches, IMO.
Okay, this next match was just a clusterfuck, worse than the first one. To begin, where did Dreamer come in? You didn't explain when and where he came in, or how. Another, guys just ran into the ring one after another. I know this finish was used to continue or advance some ongoing storyline, but the way you write, it can be much more if you strive to write much more detailed, albeit not too much, actions and such for the wrestlers. The match itself... well, it wasn't much of a match. Good thing the Age of the Fall was removed from the building, however, but the entire situation was given no foundation, leaving much to be desired.
The Homicide/Mysterio segment wasn't good, TBH. It seemed rushed, as if you just wanted to get the stipulation done and over with. Again, Joey Styles comes out quite often, too often, if you ask me. The characters also sounded monotone and there seems to be a lack of emotion or purpose in their statements..
Snitsky was never going to win this match; I didn't expect Taz to job to him, at all. The match never really took off, and it just ended, like that. Nothing more to say, really.
I'm getting tired of Joey Styles; you use him too much. He might be the authority figure, but I think you should lay off of using him too much as his character, or lack thereof, wares off too soon. I think you should give him more of a personality..
On paper and probably on TV, this match would be great to see. Unfortunately, your description isn't up to par to what it could be, I think, and it's a detriment to the match's overall quality. This was just filler for the MCMG/Hart fued you seem to have going on, or something. Your matches need work, as they seem to have no substance. I must admit, however, the match was fast paced and interesting in content, but your writing held it back. I did like Williams getting the pin though, so marks from me for that brief triumph.
This seemed incredibly forced, and nothing too interesting took place in this segment. Just a match made by a mere punch in the face, and that is all. Not only must you work on your matches, but your promos seem to carry no weight or emotion, and just come across as forced or uninspired. Again, this match was nothing more than a clusterfuck, with nothing to it but names being written and action being one word liners, and nothing else. I didn't expect Vinnie Mac to win, so this was expected. Still, mediocre match and a brawl to end the show.
Okay, TBH, this entire show was a complete mess. I'm not trying to knock you or anything, it's just... the promos were bland, uninspired, seemed force, and monotone, with no emotion behind them. Everything was explain in rushed one liners and matches were made with no purpose, at least, to me it seemed that way. Matches; you need to work on them. Use transition words, look some up on Wikipedia's Wiktionary or some book and you'll understand what I'm getting at. Your matches seem too lumped together with no substance, they need some more... vim, excitement, and I know the content is there, you just need to write far clearer and improve on your structure so they can come across more coherently. I implore you, improve and your shows can be kick ass. I understand if you have time constraints, but surely, if you can churn out several shows like this in a week or two's worth, it wouldn't kill you to make one show every two weeks, combining three or four shows worth into one with some great writing and detail into it. I know you can do better. How? Well, because anyone can, they just need that extra nudge. I don't grade, so don't expect a number from me. Please, take up on my tips, and you can become a good writer and booker in no time.
