Before Smackdown goes live, the feed goes backstage where the camera appears to be pointing nowhere. Suddenly Cody Rhodes walks into the frame and starts speaking to the camera.
Cody Rhodes:
I learned something a long time ago about this business…it’s all a joke…and not a very funny one at that. No matter how good you are, how good you get, how good you are at Wrestling or on the microphone you will go nowhere unless a certain number of people like you. They wear suits, they tell others what to do from the little guy writing scripts to the over seven feet monsters, and it’s these people who decide what happens. You can however fight against it, You can struggle your way through and win every match they force you in until you make it somewhere until you accidentally win an opportunity meant for someone else and make your career. That’s what I did, I went against their plans and I made myself UWFs Man, if you want to make it you have to face me and lose just to prove how good you are. Sadly my path has no others because it puts a bit of a strain on you.
Cody suddenly gets a smile on his face
Of course all you really have to do to get through it is look on the bright side of things…For the only good part of this terrible world of wrestling we live in is that I can see it for what it is and enjoy it…You know, sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who can see the truth. That life is just an absurdist comedy…and the only appropriate response is to laugh. And whether you call me…Dashing…or-
Cody cracks his neck to the side
Crazy…
the fact of the matter is I see things for how they truly are…Everything anybody in this industry has ever valued or struggled for…it’s all a monstrous, demented gag implemented by the straight men known as management…And just like the very best straight men in history, they don’t get enough credit for framing the architecture of this big joke we are all a part of they aren’t alone…Bud needed Lou and in UWF that would be me…They’re the set-up and I’m the Punch line HA…And I’m going to be revealing this to people one by one…and hopefully you all can see the funny side like I have…I’d hate to be the only one laughing.
Rhodes head starts shaking as he raises it up slowly with his eyes closed…his head goes still and he looks back down.
Hear it, and you know the end is coming, say it when it’s arrived, and fade away as it plays again…Whoa oh…whoa…oh
Cody smiles before suddenly leaving off screen as Smackdown goes live, the cameras panning to the arena.
"PSSSHHH!!!"
[video=youtube;2TwLOOFvzS4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TwLOOFvzS4[/video]
With the infamous sound of the shattering glass ringing out, the Smackdown audience is sent into an excited uproar as they are brought to their feet cheering and waving their signs about. Before long, the man himself appears from the backstage and makes a beeline for the ring, the cheers intensifying as he does.
As Austin enters the ring, he heads to the turnbuckle farthest from him and ascends it, gesturing to the crowd with the Stone Cold Salute, repeating this on the other three.
As Austin steps down from the fourth and final turnbuckle, he motions to the ringside officials for a microphone and is granted one as he walks over to the ropes where the official is handing it up to him. Austin grabs the microphone and walks toward the center of the ring at the same time that his music is fading out. As the cheers intensify again and become more audible, the Smackdown GM raises the microphone to his mouth, ready to address them.
Stone Cold: Before we get things underway here tonight, there's a few things that Stone Cold wants ta' get off of his chest, the first of those things being Mick Foley. Ever since Stone Cold decided ta' terminate Mick Foley's contract, well, the dumb sumjack hasn't been smart enough ta' know what that means and that's why you've seen him out here week after week, him an' his boys putting their hands on Diamond Dallas Page, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, yours truly, and last week, Shark Boy. It became apparent from the get-go that these little girls were lookin' for a fight, and at Starrcade, Stone Cold was thinkin' a givin' 'em one in the form a' Shark Boy and whoever else wanted ta' step up and represent the good a' Smackdown. An' all a' ya'll knowin' this business the way I do and knowin' Stone Cold the way we all do and knowin' spineless pieces a' trash with the gang mentality that they have, you know that eventually I woulda had ta' put ma' General Manager duties on the backburner, lace up the ol' boots, and open a can of whoopass on all of 'em myself, and give Raven the fight he's been clamorin' for. However, none a' that's gonna happen, and you can thank Raven and Mick Foley's piss poor attitudes for that. Raven outright refused ta' compete in his match against Kurt Angle tonight, for three reasons. One, it isn't on pay-per-view. Two, it's a match with no stipulation. Three, it's a singles match and he doesn't get to tag up with Cody Rhodes. Well that's one of the blatantly obvious ways that Stone Cold isn't like any general manager before him and no general manager anywhere else or anyone general manager that'll come in the future, I don't take anybody's shit, especially big headed acting like a Diva shit.
I broke it down for him and let him know without any punches pulled that it doesn't matter how he wants ta' be booked. He thinks he's a pay-per-view only attraction, Stone Cold doesn't. He thinks he should only compete in gimmick matches, Stone Cold doesn't. He thinks he should be able to tag with Rhodes whenever he wants to, Stone Cold doesn't. What matters is how I want ta' book him, and I told him if he didn't like it, he could get out. So Raven did what he always does, he quits because his demands weren't met. And it's sad because if he could quit being so self-centered, he could actually do a lot of good for the product, but it's not possible for him ta' do that so tonight will be the last you see of Raven in the You Dubya Eff and especially on Stone Cold's show. Good riddance. Now, onto other matters, Austin Aries came into my office this week and he and I sat down and had a conversation about his performance lately, and Stone Cold told him what was expected of him and what'll happen if he doesn't meet those expectations. So, Austin Aries is going to be in action tonight. Now, I didn't tell 'im who his opponent was gonna be, but trust me, every last one of ya is in for a treat. And if he doesn't win, he's out.
Which brings me to the next thing I came out here ta' talk about, Mr. Kennedy. Last week I told Mr. Kennedy that he was gonna regret letting Stone Cold's name come out of his mouth in such a disrespectful way and I was true to my word when I told that sorry excuse for a champion that his bottom feedin' ass was gonna defend his Hardcore Championship every week until I said stop. I also told him that his boy 911 was gonna be in action, but I didn't tell either one of 'em who they were gonna be facin'. Well, it's time ta' let that cat out of the bag. Tonight, Mr. Kennedy and 911 are each other's opponents, and you better not try anything cute or you may find yourself in a worse situation than yer currently in. On a lighter note, Stone Cold's got the rest a' Smackdown's side of Starrcade figured up and can't wait ta' share it with ya. It won't be right now, but before the night is over, you will and you'll be very pleased. Now, enjoy the show folks, and that's the bottom line...cuz Stone Cold said so!
Austin's music hits again as he exits the ring and makes his way to the back as the camera pans over to the commentary table where Taz, Joey Styles, and Jerry "The King" Lawler are sitting by.
Joey Styles: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Saturday Night Smackdown! Already excitement is in the air as our General Manager has everyone stirred up with his words, Taz.
Taz: Absolutely, Joe, no one captivates an audience like the "Texas Rattlesnake", baby. Those two matches he made are gonna be off the hook.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: But that's just the tip of the iceberg, guys, because what a show we've got in store in addition to that!
Joey Styles: No doubt about it, Jerry. Like for the first time ever, the holder of the Money in the Bank briefcase Eddie Guerrero will take on the "Masterpiece" Chris Masters.
Taz: I hope Masta's isn't planning any more wedding proposals this week.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: I'm pretty sure Eddie would put him in the hospital for that one, Taz.
Joey Styles: Speaking of hospitals, this week the very volatile and dangerous Sami Callihan has found himself a partner in Brodie Lee as they take on none other than the tag team champions, Fandango and Ethan Carter the third, in a non-title match.
Taz: And in our semi-main event, as Stone Cold already mentioned, we'll see Raven in his first and last match on Smackdown when he takes on Kurt Angle. What a feather in Angle's cap, eh guys?
Jerry "The King" Lawler: I didn't know you were from Canada.
Taz: I'm not, I'm from Brooklyn.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: But you said...
Taz: Sayin' eh makes me as much of a Canadian as sayin' puppies makes you a vet, King.
Joey Styles: Speaking of Canada, did you guys hear where Starrcade is going to hail from?
Taz: Yeah yeah, don't spoil the podcast, Joe. Sheesh.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Speaking of spoiling, in our main event, the International Champion Matt Morgan is looking to spoil the momentum of the new UWF Champion MVP when they face off. But with Edge as the special guest referee, anything can happen.
Joey Styles: And right now we're about to be joined by royalty as King Booker takes on the "Tennessee Cowboy" James Storm!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: He's as much a descendant of royalty as Lorde is.
Taz: You and your attempts at bein' hip.
Joey Styles: If this is how you guys are going to act all evening, I don't know if I can make it through the entire broadcast.
Taz: Su'vive if we let you, Joe. Su'vive if we let you.
As the commentators finish their dialogue, the camera pans from the commentary table to the ring where Lilian Garcia is standing by as the ring bell sounds.
DING DING!
Lilian Garcia: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first...
"SORRY...ABOUT YO DAMN LUCK!
[video=youtube;3Ey0GskPSR0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ey0GskPSR0[/video]
"Longnecks & Rednecks" by Montgomery Gentry begins to play as the fans erupt into cheers because it is a theme that signifies the impending arrival of none other than James Storm, affectionately known to them all as the "Tennessee Cowboy". James walks out onto the stage and takes a swig of his beer as pyro shoots from the stage behind him. He then raises his hand and the pyro fires once again before he makes his way down the ramp.
Lilian Garcia: From Leiper's Fork, Tennessee. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds. He is the "Tennessee Cowboy", James Storm!
As James arrives at the bottom of the ramp, he slides into the ring, posing for the crowd once he gets to his feet. He removes his hat and sunglasses and hands them to the ringside official as he awaits his opponent and gets ready for the upcoming match.
Lilian Garcia: And the opponent...
[video=youtube;XBm-qO3iGxU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBm-qO3iGxU[/video]
As King Booker's theme hits, a chorus of boos rains heavily around the arena. In the middle of the ring sits a golden throne as King Booker's music tastefully blasts out on the arena. Queen Sharmell and King Booker make their way on to the stage. King Booker lift his finger in the air triumphantly as Queen Sharmell waves to the fans.
They both proceed down the entrance ramp to a chorus of boos and gracefully enter the ring. King Booker takes his seat on the throne as Queen Sharmell grabs the microphone from Lilian.
Queen Sharmell: From Houston, Texas. Weighing in at two hundred and sixty-two pounds. With her majesty Queen Sharmell by his side, ladies and gentlemen please welcome his royal highness, King Booker!
The crowd showers both of them with boos as Booker arises from his throne, handing his crown and scepter and robe to Sharmell as she exits the ring and the ring crew removes the throne and sets it ringside for Queen Sharmell to sit in.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The referee signals for the bell and this one is underway. Storm and Booker circle the ring before locking horns in the middle. Booker backs Storm into the corner and the referee tries to separate the two. As he does, Booker gets a thumb to Storm's eye. The crowd boos as Booker takes a bow.
Styles: Already King Booker is up to no good!
The King: And to think, he was so well behaved when he called the action with me here at ringside.
Tazz: Not for nothin', but that's King Bookah, not Bookah T, King!
As Booker turns around after gloating, Storm has regained his sight and levels Booker with a devastating clothesline. Storm picks Booker back to his feet and sets up for a suplex. Booker blocks the suplex attempt and instead hits a suplex of his own. Booker then gets to his feet and begins viciously stomping away at "The Cowboy".
Styles: King Booker's not acting so regal at the moment.
Tazz: Regal? I don't think he works here, Joey!
The King: I'm still wondering what gives Booker T the right to call himself King. There's only one King and you're looking at him!
The referee has stopped Booker from stomping Storm and Storm has gotten back to his feet. He and Booker begin trading punches until Booker attempts an irish whip into the ropes. Instead, Storm counters and sends Booker into the ropes. As he comes back, Storm is setting up a back body drop. Booker stops dead in his tracks and instead clubs Storm in the back before bouncing off the opposite ropes and hitting Storm with the Scissors Kick! Booker then pins Storm.
1..
2..
3!!
YOUR WINNER, KING BOOKER!!!
Storm rolls out of the ring as the referee raises King Booker's arm in victory. Sharmell enters the ring and celebrates with her husband.
Styles: King Booker with another decisive win, this one over a former UWF Tag Team Champion!
Tazz: I hope none uh the people at home blinked 'cause they woulda' missed that match!
The King: I gotta call gimmick infringement but nonetheless, big victory here!
We go to commercial as Booker and Sharmell continue to celebrate, much to the crowd's chagrin.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL ONE
Curse you, finals!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The camera pans to a backstage area where the crowd finds Carlito sitting backstage
The Crowd boos as Carlito begins to talk
Carlito:Ladies and Gentleman it is with great honor that Carlito would like to inform you that after quite a long dry spell Carlito is back on the winners list! Now Carlito knows this may come past as a shock to all of you mindless bottom feeders out in the crowd tonight but last week was the first time Carlito has tasted the sweet taste of Victory since returning to UWF on Anarchy, and we all know how Anarchy ended up. You see Carlito could go on and on about how Carlito was nothing but a henchmen to Vince Russo and how Carlito never got the opportunities he deserved after making sure other members of the Establishment got their wins but quite frankly Carlito is sick of talking about the past and its time to focus on Carlitos present and future.
Crowd continually boo as Carlito keeps talking
Carlito:Now as Carlito mentioned before, Carlitos debut on Smackdown last week was a very successful night, not only did Carlitos team get the win but Carlito had a fantastic performance in the match and was by far the stand out of the six competitors, in fact if it wasnt for King Bookers cheap shot Carlito would have had the pinfall as well, defeating the team of Eddie Guerrero, that clown Shark Boy and the stain on this Industry Sami Callahan.
The Crowd starts to chant "you suck" at Carlito but he couldn't care less backstage
Carlito: You see its people like Shark Boy and Sami Callahan that have made this industry a laughing stock in the sports entertainment, taking cheap pops and scraping the bottom of the barrel for stupid humor just so the crowd will cheer and buy your merchandise, well Carlito has had enough. When Carlitos father was busy creating this industry the way he got to the top was by being the best not by making stupid jokes or wearing ridiculous costumes, if you wanted the crowd to like you, than you had to be amazing in the ring, something Carlitos father has passed down to Carlito. So whats next for Carlito, one word, Gold. In particular the man who cost Carlito his match against Test, a man who claims to be a great champion but hides behind a bodyguard, now Carlito doesnt want to go naming names to embarrass this person but Carlito will give you a clue, it starts with a K and ends with ennedy. a man who must defend his title every week. So please Ken keep a good hold of that title until Carlito gets his opportunity to take it away from you and begin to resurrect this industry back to the way it should be
Now thats Cool!
As Carlito finishes and the crowd boos him viciously, things return to the ring where the next match is about to begin.
DING DING!
Sami Callihan and Ethan Carter aren't waiting for anything as Carter tries his best to get in some cheap shots to Callihan, but Callihan manages to bring down Carter with a discus clothesline. Carter tries to get up from the assault but Calliahn brings Carter to the corner and smashes his face onto the turnbuckles, then hits some kicks to the stomach of Carter. Callihan then throws Ethan Carter to the opposite corner, then runs after him but Carter ends up booting Callihan in the face. Callihan falls to one knee as Carter runs up and hits the corscrew neckbreaker onto Callihan! Calliihan is down and Carter drags Callihan to his corner and tags in Fandango into the match! Fandango goes in and hits some strikes to Callihan, including some punches to keep him down then climbs onto the second ropes, then goes for a double axe handle but Callihan counters with a powerful lariot onto Fandango! Callihan then goes onto his hands and knees then goes for the cover...
1!
.
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
And Fandango kicks out! Callihan brings Fandango to the center of the ring and goes a suplex but Fandango goes behind Callihan and throws him to the ropes. Callihan returns to Fandango who hits a back body drop onto Callihan. Ethan Carter 3 is tagged back into the match who goes in and they hit a double suplex onto Callihan. Callihan tries to go towards Brodie Lee but Carter brings Callihan away from Lee and hits some kicks to the back of Callihan. Callihan goes onto his knees but Carter hits a knee to the skull of Sami, then hits a snap DDT to bring him down to the ground. Carter has a smile on his face as he tags in Fandango, who poses for the crowd and hits the Diving Legdrop onto Sami Callihan! The crowd is pumped that Fandango nailed the Diving Legdrop but Carter comes in and attacks Sami, while refusing to go back under the referee's orders which causes for the bell to wring.
Winners of the match via DQ: Brodie Lee and Sami Callihan.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL TWO
Don't forget to check out UWF Monday Night RAW!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Smackdown returns from commercial, we're moments away from being shown a pre-recorded video. The video begins and the scene shows a sombre Matt Hardy and just the sight of him causes the UWF Universe to cheer wildly. Hardy continues to stare at something out of view as the camera slowly zooms in closer, preparing for Hardy to spill what's on his mind.
Matt Hardy: Three weeks ago, I made my return to the Ultimate Wrestling Federation and to competitive wrestling as a whole. The decision to make my return was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my entire life. I've been through so much in my 39 years on this world and I live a life filled with regret rather than accomplishment. I've endured a life of struggles, of addiction, of pain and of disappointment. Whenever there was a high in my life, a low immediately followed that brought me straight back down to Earth with a giant thud. While my brother had lows of his own, he was capable of perseverance and has had the ability to forge out a successful career as a multi-time World Champion. Although I'm the eldest of the Hardy brothers, I look up to my brother in more ways than one. Growing up I always wanted to be his idol and his teacher, but as the years passed by it was he that taught me about life rather than the reverse. Simply put, my life hasn't ideally panned out the way I dreamed it would two decades ago, but in light of that I have achieved many of the goals I set in my wrestling career.
Hardy straightens up, almost becoming uplifted, as his focus remains off camera.
Matt Hardy: I've been a Tag Team Champion, I've been a United States Champion, and I've even been an ECW Champion at one stage. All I wanted to accomplish when I began my career was simply to do my best, give 110% each and every night and just enjoy the ride. When you're on cloud nine and can boast a championship in your possession, life couldn't be sweeter. I let that get to my head too often, resulting in my focus and my concentration withering from time to time, bringing with it my wrestling ability and, on a whole, my insanity. It has taken me some time to clear my mind of all my demons and to accept my past as just that, the past. My return signals the second coming of Matt Hardy, it introduces the world to Matt Hardy Version Two, and while many things have changed there have also remained some similarities. This Matt Hardy, like the one that preceded him, simply won't give in and won't stop until he has nothing left to give. I'm done being the laughing stock of the wrestling world, being labelled as "washed up", a "has been", or "fat". I've worked damn hard to revive my life and my career and my victories thus far over Paul London and Austin Aries have gone some way in proving that I'm not here just for the sake of being here.
Hardy now stands straight and looks down the barrel of the camera, more determined than ever.
Matt Hardy: I'm here to leave a lasting legacy on my career, something that I can truly be proud of when the time comes to call it quits. I want to go out knowing that I gave it my all rather than fade out into the background as a loser. My name is Matt Hardy and I WILL... NOT... DIE, SMACKDOWN! I WILL NOT DIE IN MY QUEST TO BECOME A CHAMPION! I... WILL... NOT!
Hardy intensely stares at the camera, which has zoomed in closely to his face.
Matt Hardy: Consider this a warning to the Smackdown roster - don't be content with your position in the pecking order... because I'm coming, and I'm coming FAST!
As the crowd in the arena burst into cheers at Hardy's message, the man himself is glued to the camera for a few seconds before the shot ends. With the crowd still exited about the new and improved Matt Hardy, Smackdown moves elsewhere.
We come back from Hardy's promo as Mr. Money in the Bank Eddie Guerrero is already standing in the ring, waiting for his opponent.
Styles: Well, folks, welcome back and we've got the man who will take on The Undertaker at Starrcade for the United States Championship, the holder of the Money in the Bank briefcase, Eddie Guerrero!
Tazz: But, not even Starrcade, he's got a tough challenge ahead, Joe! He's gotta get past "Tha' Masta' Piece!"
The King: The newly engaged Chris Masters and.....oh my......we get to see Layla, too! PUPPIES! WOO-HOO!
The audience are greeted with Layla as she walks out on stage completely ignoring the negative reaction from the crowd.
Layla:
Ladies and Gentlemen! Please give stand up as I introduce the FORMER Ironman Champion, the Masterpiece, and my FUTURE Husband.......Chriiis Masters!!!!!!
[video=youtube;2HjfebCm9Bw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HjfebCm9Bw[/video]
The boos continue and grow louder as Chris Masters makes his way out on stage, grabs a hold of Layla's hand and begin to walk her down the ramp into the ring.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The bell rings and the referee gets this one started. Eddie and Chris circle the ring before meeting in the middle. A collar-elbow tie up happens and Masters gets the upper hand. He places Eddie in a headlock before backing up into the ropes. Eddie sends him away but, on the rebound, Masters hits him with a big shoulder block. As Eddie goes for the traditional leapfrong by throwing himself stomach-first down onto the mat, Masters simply begins stomping away at Eddie. The referee creates separation between the two as Eddie gets to his feet. As they go to lock up again, the lights go out.
Styles: What is going on?!
Tazz: ....The hell?
The King: I've got a bad feeling about this!
After King finishes his statement, a purple hue falls over the arena. The crowd is going crazy as both men look confused. Then, Druids begins emerging from the back, two of them with lit torches.
Styles: It's a sign!
Tazz: "Tha' Deadman" has to be behind this!
The King: No doubt about it, Tazz.
Eddie immediately exits the ring and stands at the bottom of the ramp and looks towards the stage. As he does, the referee begins counting.
1..
2..
3..
4..
5..
As the counts keep piling up, the Druids keep pouring out and they line up on both sides of the ramp. All the while, this odd chant can be heard all throughout the arena.
6..
7..
8..
9..
10!
YOUR WINNER VIA COUNT-OUT, CHRIS MASTERS
As the referee rings the bell, Masters rolls out of the ring. He grabs Layla by the hand and the both of them leave through the crowd.
Tazz: Smart move by Masters. I sure wouldn't wanna mess with Tha' Unda' Taka'!
Eddie continues to glare at the Druids before they all come to a complete stop. Then, one Druid makes himself known and steps out from the line on the right side. He steps forward and then looks over towards Eddie. He then turns and starts walking towards Eddie. The chanting is still going on but Guerrero is standing tall.
Styles: Eddie Guerrero refusing to back down.
As the Druid reaches bottom of the ramp, he stands a few feet from Eddie. Guerrero has had enough and advances toward him. As he does, a lightning bolt comes out of nowhere and crashes right in front of Eddie's feet, causing Guerrero to jump to the side to escape harm.
The King: AHHHH! *King Scream*
The purple lights then go out and the only thing left illuminating the arena is the wall of flames that has materialized where the lightning bolt crashed. When the lights come back on, the flames are gone and the Druids are gone. All that's left is Eddie Guerrero, who is screaming "COME ON, DEADMAN!" We fade to commercial as Eddie continues to scream for The Undertaker to make himself known.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL THREE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[video=youtube;kKCLRoVGeL0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKCLRoVGeL0[/video]
The crowd erupts as, CM Punk comes out from the back
Punk stands near the entrance way and looks at the crowd. Punk doesn't seem to be in much of a good mood tonight. Punk smirks and then heads to the ring. As he gets to ringside, Punk just slides into the ring and asks for a microphone
CM Punk: So over the last month or so, I have been set out by UWF management from Impact and Smackdown as someone they want to see fail. I haven't had a win here in UWF in over a month. Even in tag team matches they have set it up so, CM Punk is the one who's taking the fall. It's a load of crap if you ask me. All I have been doing is jobbing. I jobbed last week in the tag team main event on Smackdown. I jobbed on Impact in my final match because that jackass of a manager had it out for the best in the world. But this where I draw the line.
Punk looks to the crowd and sees a "Punk is Wrestling" sign and points at it as he goes back on the mic
CM Punk: You see that right there. The people know what is best for business and so do I. So here comes Smackdown management earlier this week and presented an idea for me. They wanted me to become this kind and nice super hero for the fans. Pretty much similar to when, John Cena was Super Cena to all of you. Listen I can nice guy, that's not an issue. But I am open and honest guy who tells it how it is. So I presented them with an idea. This was an idea that is finally a few years in the making. The idea I presented to them was for me to bring in a tag team partner and become the most dominant tag team this industry has ever seen. And you know what, they liked the idea and are on board for it.
The crowd begins a chant for a wrestler that has been waiting his time
CM Punk: See this man, he and I go way back and we will be going for the tag team championship held by that dancing queen, Fandango and Derrick Bateman. With that said, allow me to introduce to you the newest member of the Smackdown locker room and a member of the Second City Saints, Colt Cabana!!!!!
[video=youtube;jBO4wHbth7k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBO4wHbth7k[/video]
The crowd erupts as Cabana comes out from the back. Cabana slaps hands with the fans as he makes his way to the ring. He sees, Punk and points at him with a smile. Cabana slides into the ring and puts his arms in the air and embraces, Punk with a hug. Punk then hands, Cabana his microphone as a massive "Colt Cabana" chant breaks out
Colt Cabana: I've been waiting for that for a long time now.
The crowd cheers on as Cabana smirks and puts his arm around Punk and speaks
Colt Cabana: Now that the Second City Saints are back and right here in the UWF we are going to go on a full takeover of the UWF and take those Tag Team titles from as my friend put it, the dancing queens. Now from my knowledge this is professional wrestling and not some entertainment crap. There is no room for ball room dancing in this business. We are professional wrestlers. So Colt Cabana and CM Punk the Second City Saints are ready to take over professional wrestling and take those tag team titles. We plan on doing what we do best and that's be better than the rest!
Cabana and Punk pose together as the camera heads backstage following what just happened in the ring and the fans aren't sure what to think.
Just then we fade to Fandango and EC3 watching Punk and Cabana on a TV, laughing.
Ethan Carter III: Look at these two losers.
Fandango: Ugh, you've got to be kidding me! I thought I was done with this!
Ethan Carter III: What's up bro? Who are these clowns?
Fandango: This is the idiot who I beat to win my International Championship.
Ethan Carter III: And the fat friend?
Fandango: He's a fat friend.
Ethan Carter III: Gotcha. Look at Chunk, I don't think he's a registered wrestler here so he should really be in the visiting area. Actually he really shouldn't even be on TV looking like that.
Fandango and EC3 fist bump each other while laughing.
Fandango: Wait. You can't be serious? Him? A wrestler?
Fandango and EC3 both burst out in laughter.
Ethan Carter III: Wait I think he is serious. Look, I'm so confident in how bad he is that I'd gladly give those bozo's a title shot.
Ethan walks out of frame as Fandango looks a little flabbergasted.
A man that appears to be wearing an E.T. mask is standing there with a microphone.
Stone Cold E.T. What happens when the spaceship you thought took E.T. home actually crashes and strands him here on Earth? It's not such a happy ending anymore, is it? I see the way that people look at me, they judge me and aren't afraid to tell me what they think. They treat me like I'm a freak. So E.T. had to forget everything he knows about love and toughen up, but didn't know how. So E.T. logged onto what you humans call YouTube, and came across something called wrestling, and after watching it extensively and studying it carefully, E.T. found the toughness he was looking for in the form of a Rattlesnake, except he wasn't a rattlesnake at all, he was just referred to as one, E.T. still hasn't figured out why. Either way E.T. is exactly like him now; he walks like Stone Cold, talks like Stone Cold, and he's here tonight to fight like Stone Cold. E.T. is here to be the opponent of Austin Aries. Now if you want to see that match, give me a phone home!
The crowd pops and E.T. thinks it's for him until the camera pans out a bit and Stone Cold enters the shot.
Stone Cold: I don't know who or what the hell you are, but there's no way I'm letting you into my arena, whether it's to wrestle Austin Aries or some member of the crowd in a Pizza Planet shirt so that we can bill it as Toy Story versus, well, E.T. Go on, get the he...
Suddenly E.T.'s finger begins to glow as he extends it and reaches out to touch Austin on the shoulder.
Stone Cold E.T. Ouuuuuuuuch.
Austin gradually turns his head and looks at E.T. touching him before gradually turning it back to face E.T. as the crowd laughs.
Stone Cold: You got about five seconds ta' take yer finger off me, kid, before I give you a real reason ta' cry out in pain.
E.T. removes his finger, then sticks up his middle finger as it glows as well.
Stone Cold E.T. Don't...trust...anyone.
E.T. goes to kick Austin who grabs his leg and flips him onto his back.
Stone Cold: I don't have time for this shit.
Austin turns and walks away as the camera pans back to E.T. on his side, holding his lower back in pain as the camera pans back to the ring where the next match is about to start.
DING DING!
Lilian Garcia: The following contest is a Falls Count Anywhere match for the Hardcore Championship and it is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, from Jackson, New Jersey. Weighing in at three hundred pounds even, 9-1-1!
911 poses to boos from the crowd as he waves them off and gets ready for the match ahead.
Lilian Garcia: And the opponent...
MMMMMISSSTERRRRRRR.....KENNEDYYYYYYYYY!
[video=youtube;i4tHqrBMPXg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4tHqrBMPXg[/video]
"Turn Up The Trouble" by Airbourne begins to play over the PA system as the capacity crowd erupts into boos. It isn't long before they're joined by the man the theme belongs to, the Hardcore Champion Mr. Kennedy, as the lights in the arena dim and Mr. Kennedy stands there in his own spotlight, a mist surrounding him like an aura as he motions for his microphone and is granted it, bringing it to his mouth as "Turn Up The Trouble" fades out to silence.
Mr. Kennedy: Ladies and gentlemen, please rise to your feet and show your respect and admiration for the greatest wrestler and champion that this industry has ever seen. Weighing in tonight at two hundred and forty-three pounds. From GREEN...BAY...WISCONSIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN! MMMMMMMMMISSSSSSTERRRRRRRRRRRRR.....KENNEDEH!
Kennedy looks around at the crowd for a moment, drawing the microphone away from his mouth. He looks down the ramp into the ring for a moment then draws the microphone towards his mouth again.
Mr. Kennedy: KENNEDEH!
He releases the microphone as he makes his way towards the ring, entering it as he looks at his opponent and nods at him. The lights come back up as the ring bell sounds again.
DING DING!
911 and Kennedy begin to circle each other, both men hesistant to actually go through with this. After a moment of circling, Kennedy can be heard telling him, "We've got to do this." 911 nods and then, out of nowhere, hits Kennedy with a big boot, nearly taking Ken's head off as he hits the mat hard. 911 seems overcome with the thought of actually being a titleholder as he exits the ring and flips up the ring apron, beginning to check underneath the ring for weapons. He begins to grab them and throw them behind him, scattering them about ringside. He retrieves a steel chair, a trash can, the trash can lid, a kendo stick, a barbed wire bat, and lastly pulls out a table as he puts the apron back in place and stands up, admiring the weapons strewn about around him.
He grabs the kendo stick as he slides into the ring and gets to his feet quickly, going after Kennedy but as he swings it downward, Kennedy pushes off the mat with his hands to avoid it as he's launched backward into the ropes. Ken uses the momentum of the ropes to launch himself at 911 who swings the stick at him like a baseball bat but Ken hits his knees and slides underneath the swing to avoid it, returning to his feet not long after and turning as he heads into the opposite ropes, launching himself in 911's direction again who turns to face him and swings the stick like a bat again, catching Kennedy in the ribs.
Taz: Yikes! He hit the mock that time.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: We're supposed to be unbiased, Taz, you can't go calling Kennedy a mark.
Taz: I'm not calling him a mock, I'm saying 911 hit the mock.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Exactly, you're calling him a mark.
Taz: No I'm not.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Yes you are!
Joey Styles: Okay I know Dumb and Dumber's getting a sequel, but Dude, Where's My Car? isn't so cut the crap.
Taz: I don't think scissa's are meant for that, Joe.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Remind me never to borrow a pair of scissors from you, Joey.
Joey Styles: I wish I had a pair of scissors right about now.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: He's onto you, Taz, he saw the Staples bag.
Taz: Aww man, the aughts and craft stuff was supposed ta' be a surprise.
Joey Styles: Don't you mean arts and crafts?
Taz: No, aughts and craft, I figga'd we'd make some macaroni aught, you know, somethin' nice for our new boss. For Christmas.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: But you ruined the surprise by looking in the bag and seeing the scissors.
Joey Styles: I didn't think it was possible, Taz, but you've gotten dumber since our days broadcasting Anarchy together.
Taz: Pipe down, Joe, if Santa hears you bein' all anti-Christmasy, I'm gonna get coal by association. If you don't want any pot of it, me an' Jerry'll make the aught.
In the ring, Kennedy is doubled over in pain as 911 raises the kendo stick and brings it down across the small of Ken's back, causing Kennedy to stand straight up as he holds where he was struck and cries out in pain. 911 swings the stick like a bat again and strikes Kennedy in the small of his back again, also swatting his hand do to it being in the line of fire as Kennedy grabs his hand with the other, wincing further. 911 raises the kendo stick over his head and gets ready to bring it down on his opponent's head but it's at this time that Kennedy turns and whallops 911 in the nose as hard as he can with his right hand, the one that just got struck with the kendo stick. 911 is knocked backward into the ropes, dropping the kendo stick, as Kennedy takes off running and launches himself at him, sending both men over the top rope and crashing and burning on the outside.
Kennedy's to his feet quickly as he grabs the steel chair and gets ready for 911 to get up. As the big man gets to his feet, Kennedy swings the chair but 911 grabs the trash can lid and blocks it, throwing a left punch and catching Kennedy in the abdomen as he staggers backward, dropping the chair. 911 charges at him, connecting with a lariat to the throat with the trash can lid for added impact as Kennedy falls into the steel steps, knocking them loose as the top part falls forward and lands on the ground and the bottom piece slides toward the crowd barrier. 911 throws the trash can lid down as he grabs Kennedy by the back of the tights with his right hand and the back of the neck with his left, throwing him head first into the crowd barrier as the crowd, "Ooh"'s at the vicious impact. 911 picks him up again and throws him into the crowd barrier the same way but with more force as the crowd is beginning to sympathize with Kennedy.
Taz: Yowza, Mista' Kennedy is getting his eggs scrambled.
Joey Styles: I think you mean he's getting his brains scrambled.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Now now, don't excuse him of getting his words scrambled, you'll start an argument.
Taz: I always like word scrambles, they're my favorite pot of the newspaper.
Joey Styles: I always thought the comics were your favorite part.
Taz: Nah, not since they discontinued Peanuts.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: No...dogs...allowed.
911 picks Kennedy up in the same fashion as before but this time turns and throws Kennedy towards the ropes as the Hardcore Champion goes through the space between the top and middle rope, tuck and rolling as he finds himself back on his feet. Kennedy turns to face 911 who is pulling himself onto the ring apron by the middle rope. Ken thinks quickly as he grabs the kendo stick and takes off running and places the kendo stick down firmly, using it to pole vault himself towards 911 as he kicks him square in the abdomen with both feet, landing on his backside as 911 is sent flying backward off of the apron and crashes into the ringside barrier. Kennedy places his hands at his sides and climbs to his feet, looking at 911 with a viciousness in his expression and a burning hatred in his eyes. Something has snapped inside Kennedy as he turns and takes off running towards the ropes behind him, using the momentum to launch himself towards the ropes on the opposite side as he leaps through the ropes and takes down the rising 911 with a suicide dive.
Kennedy is up to his feet rather quickly as he grabs 911 and pulls him to his feet. Kennedy looks at him for a moment before hitting him with an upward slap that connects with audible impact. Kennedy takes the dazed 911 and irish whips him towards the barrier next to the ramp, 911 hitting the steel steps that slid towards the crowd barrier he was slamming Kennedy into earlier and stumbling over them, ending up on the other side. Kennedy takes off running and leaps into the air, landing on the steps and throwing a right kick that hits 911 directly in the mouth as he sits up, the impact of the kick knocking him backward into the crowd barrier as his head hits with disturbing impact and his mouth is beginning to bleed. Kennedy steps down to the lower step and bends towards 911, throwing 911's arm around the back of his neck and hooking his arm around his 911's head and, in an impressive feat of strength, lifts 911 straight up into a delayed vertical suplex, holding him there briefly before falling backward with the follow through to the impact, slamming 911 directly onto the trash can.
Joey Styles: What incredible strength being shown by our Hardcore Champion!
Taz: That was all adrenaline, baby, no doubt about it.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: I bet he's regretting scattering those weapons about the way he did right about now.
Kennedy releases 911 not long after impact and kips up to his feet, grabbing the steel chair he didn't get to use earlier as he turns it upside down, clutching the legs of the chair and aiming the top of it down at 911. He drives it downward into his opponent's ribs as 911 sits up in pain, coughing blood onto the chest of Kennedy, which angers him as he begins to drive the top of the chair into his ribs again and again in rapid succession. After hitting him nine times in succession, as 911 sits up in pain clutching his ribs in agony, Kennedy turns the chair in his hands and winds back with it until the top is touching the ground behind him and then lets loose, bringing it forward in one quick motion and connecting with the top of 911's skull with arguably the most brutal chair shot the world of wrestling has ever seen or heard as 911 is busted open, blood streaming down his face from the wound as he now wears the proverbial crimson mask.
Kennedy turns and throws the chair down and then returns his attention to 911 as he backs away a few steps and begins motioning for him to bring it on with both hands, taunting his opponent as he gradually gets to his feet, staggering one way and then the other once he does. 911 throws a weak looking punch with his right fist as Kennedy sidesteps it easily, pushing on 911's turned back as 911 staggers forward into the crowd barricade, placing his arms on it and folding them, burying his face in them as he takes a breather for a moment but Kennedy's got the chair in hand again as he swings it like a baseball bat and catches 911 in the small of his back with tremendous impact before turning it in his hands and thrusting forward with it, catching 911 in the kidneys with the top of the chair. As 911 reaches back to hold his kidney area in pain, Kennedy unfolds the chair and sits it down, hooking his arm around 911's neck as he falls downward, the chair crushing like a soda can underneath the weight of both men as the crowd responds with a collective and audible gasp.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: *King scream* Look at that, Taz! A Kennedy Death Drop!
Taz: Five hundred and forty-three pounds'll do that to a steel cheah, King.
Joey Styles: Who cares about the steel chair, Taz, think about what these two men are putting their bodies through!
Taz: Who cares about the steel cheah? I think we all should, considering it's company propady. These things don't grow on trees, Joe.
Joey Styles: That would be tough, Taz, considering they're made of steel.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: There could be steel trees somewhere out there, Joey.
Taz: Yeah I mean there's such a thing as steel magnolias and ya know, flowa's and trees are in the same fam'ly.
Joey Styles: You can buy these things at Wal-Mart for sixty-nine dollars each.
Taz: That's not a lotta' money ta' you?
Joey Styles: I'm not the one buying the chairs, the company is, and I'm pretty sure Vince McMahon doesn't get out of bed for less than a hundred thousand.
Taz: That's a lotta' cheahs.
Kennedy gets up, looking down at what he's done with a sickening smile as he grabs 911 by the wrist and begins to drag him up the ramp, a few inches at a time before stopping for a moment and then resuming the dragging until both men are on the stage. 911 collapses to his knees from the dizziness of the earlier chair shot to the head and the blood loss as Kennedy does his trademark pose, holding his right arm upward with his hand open as his microphone is lowered to him. Kennedy takes it in his hand and wastes no time in hitting 911 in the top of the head with it. 911 turns and falls flat on his back as Kennedy drives a knee into his abdomen to pin him in place as he places his other knee on the stage, grabbing 911 by the hair on the back of his head and pulling him upward and forward as he takes the microphone and begins using it on his opponent's forehead like a cheese grater.
After about a minute and a half of this, Kennedy relents and hits 911 in the nose with the microphone, knocking him to the ground as Kennedy tears it loose from the cord and throws it down. Kennedy grabs the cord and pulls it downward, allowing himself more cord as he ties it around the ankles of his opponent and then motions for the cord to be pulled up as his command is honored. As 911 is hanging upside down from the cord, a bloodied mess as his arms hang lifelessly downward at the sides of his head, Kennedy punches him in the groin as 911 cries out in agony. It's at this point that Kennedy picks up the microphone piece and jams it into 911's mouth, stepping back and kicking it as 911 is launched backward, his body whipping backward as the back of his head touches his heels and the cord snaps as 911 rolls through and falls downward, the rest of his body missing the ramp except for his head as he hits the edge of the ramp the back of his head first as he then collapses to the concrete floor beside the ramp.
Joey Styles: I have no words for this.
Taz: Aww come on, Joe, we used ta' see stuff like this every week in the Extreme days.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Ken Kennedy has gone to a very scary place to try and keep that championship.
Taz: Someone may wanna call 911 for uh, 911 there, that dude may be dead after that one, let's be honest.
As Kennedy stands there looking at 911, to the shock of everyone, the big man places his hands down at his sides and begins to push himself upward, his arms shaking tremendously and his legs shaking just as badly as he places his feet on the ground and finds his way back to a vertical base. He pulls the microphone piece out of his mouth as it's covered in blood and has several teeth lodged in the openings of it as he throws it down and turns to face Kennedy, who can't believe that 911 is standing after all the abuse he's suffered. He begins to limp in Kennedy's direction as Kennedy's look of shock becomes one of readiness as he taunts 911 to bring it on. 911 places one foot on the ramp and then pushes off of the other foot, stepping up onto the ramp. Kennedy goes to attack him but 911 spits blood in his eyes as Ken clutches at them. He then goozles Kennedy and throws his right arm over top his own right arm, placing his left hand on Kennedy's back.
Joey Styles: There's no way he has enough left in the tank for this.
Taz: Seein' is believin', Joe. If he can get right back up after what he just suffa'd, he can chokeslam someone.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: We might have a new Hardcore Champion on our hands, guys!
As 911 goes to lift Kennedy, he elbows 911 in the back and side of the head as his grip is released instantly. Kennedy throws 911 off of him and grabs his wrist, pulling him back towards him as he hoists him onto his shoulders, turning and facing the side of the ramp, looking like a man possessed as he leaps off of it and connects with the Green Bay Plunge off of the ramp onto the concrete floor! Kennedy sits there in a seated position as he falls backward over 911 as the referee, who unknowingly to anyone following the match has been staying with both of them no matter where the action has spilled over to, gets down and counts the pin.
ONE!
...
TWO!
...
THREE!
DING DING!
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner and STILL the Hardcore Champion, Mr. Kennedy!
As Kennedy and 911 both lie there, medical officials begin to surround them and treat them. Both men are helped onto stretchers and placed in neck braces, 911 being wheeled out first. As they wheel Mr. Kennedy out...
[video=youtube;Gj5r0No0o7g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gj5r0No0o7g[/video]
Joey Styles: What's this?
Taz: I don't like the sound of this for Kennedy.
The song "Evil Ways" plays to cheers from the crowd, and as it gets to the part where the song picks up, none other than Smackdown's newest acquisition AJ Styles coming running out from the backstage and leaps off of the stage, connecting with the Spiral Tap onto Kennedy while he's on the stretcher as the stretcher collapses. Styles gets to his feet as the doctors are coming after him but AJ fights them off as he decks one after the other, knocking them down, dropping the last one with a Pele' Kick! Styles gets to his feet and begins delivering vicious stomps to the ribs of Kennedy before applying the Calf Killer submission hold as the Hardcore Champion writhes in agony and suffers. While all of this is going on, suddenly the titantron screen lights up.
Stone Cold: Kennedy, hell of a match you and yer boy just had there, kid, my hat's off to ya. However, as you can plainly see, yer next opponent's chompin' at the bit ta' get his hands on ya. Now that you've been formally re-introduced, you better get yerself ready because next week, on the go-home show ta' Starrcade, it's gonna be Mr. Kennedy defending his Hardcore Championship against Smackdown's newest acquisition, the "Phenomenal" AJ Styles. And that's the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so!
The titantron screen goes black as AJ Styles releases the hold and returns to his feet, an expressionless and cold look on his face as he stares a hole through Kennedy as Smackdown heads to commercial.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL FOUR
Don't forget to check out Chillin' With Chase! And if you haven't been on yet, get on it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Smackdown returns from commercial, we go to a local golf course where Eddie and Chavo Guerrero are standing with one another conversing.
Chavo Guerrero: Eddie, are you sure we should be playing golf at a time like this? Shouldn't you be getting ready for Starrcade?
Eddie Guerrero: Golf is one of the most relaxing games ever invented, holmes, and what better way to prepare for a title match than by relaxing, vato?
Chavo Guerrero: Alright, but I say we make it interesting.
Eddie Guerrero: That's what I'm talking about, nephew! What stakes did you have in mind?
Chavo Guerrero: Hmm, how about loser has to be the winner's caddy the next time we play?
Eddie Guerrero: Man, that's boring. Where's the excitement, the danger, ese'? Give me something I can sink my teeth into, holmes!
Chavo Guerrero: Alright, how about this? Loser...umm, let's see....loser has to shower after the show tonight with the Big Show!
Eddie Guerrero: What? Big Show's not even on the roster anymore, vato. Not to mention, you trying to make me sick? That's disgusting! Why would you even suggest something like that, Chavito?
Chavo Guerrero: It'd be humiliating, man. Trying to share soap with that guy, unable to wash yourself without getting his hair on you.
Eddie Guerrero: Chavito, come on, holmes, I'm going to lose my lunch on the green, ese', and they just mowed, I can smell it. If you lose, you have to scrub the low rider, holmes! Hola' lay, vato!
Chavo Guerrero: Hold on there, Uncle Eddie, before you go getting too excited, what if you lose?
Eddie Guerrero: If I lose, the Money in the Bank briefcase is yours.
Chavo Guerrero: Seriously? That against waxing and washing the low rider? You're on!
The two shake hands as Eddie is up first, hitting the ball with a beautiful swing, the ball landing on the green as it rolls toward the hole.
Eddie Guerrero: Oh, oh, hola' lay, holmes! (begins to do his arm shaking dance) Hole in oooonnnnneeee, hole in ooooonnnnneeee!
Chavo can't believe it as he takes position and swings, but as he does, the putter falls off of it and hits the ball as it rolls off of the tee. Eddie starts laughing until Chavo looks at him angrily.
Chavo Guerrero: Did you have something to do with this?
Eddie Guerrero: Come on, man, you accuse too much. Why would I do something like that to my own nephew?
Chavo Guerrero: Let's just play some golf, we've got seventeen more holes after this one.
Chavo takes another club from the bag as Smackdown heads back inside the arena and to the ring where Austin Aries is standing with a microphone.
Austin Aries: Is this everyone's idea of a joke, because if it is, it's a joke that I don't find myself laughing at in the slightest. Ever since Stone Cold took the UWF Championship away from me, my life has been nothing short of a living hell, and it's all because of him. Everywhere I look I see the light glistening off of that bald head of his, I just can't seem to get away because management thinks it's hilarious to keep putting us on the same show. Austin, you ruined my championship aspirations on Raw, you ruined my chances of being a star when you brought me over to NXT, and now that I'm back on Smackdown you're trying to make sure that this stay is just as miserable as my last one was when Triple H stripped me of my Television Championship, my Money in the Bank briefcase, all of my dignity, and on top of it all, my job!
You've made it clear what's expected of me, now let me clue you in on what's expected of you. I expect you to rot in hell when you die, Austin, but in the meantime I expect you to sit back and watch the "Greatest Man That Ever Lived" do what he does best, wrestle circles around the competition. It doesn't matter who you've chosen for me to face tonight, because this is the match that's going to turn my luck around. I'm going to make my time on Impact an afterthought, as well as my loss to Test. So who is it, who's the sorry excuse for a wrestler that you penciled in to face...
"IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME.
...
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
MWU HA HA HA HA HA!
[video=youtube;kYWcV2DIIHU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYWcV2DIIHU[/video]
Before Aries can finish, he is cut off by the music of none other than Triple H as "The Game" makes his way through the curtain, dressed in his suit and tie, a microphone in one hand and a shovel in the other. Triple H makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring, never losing eye contact with Aries as he raises his microphone to his mouth.
Triple H: Well well, much like you can't seem to get away from Stone Cold, I can't seem to get away from you. What is this, Austin, your third run in the UWF, maybe your fourth? Now when you were on Raw, there wasn't much I could say or do when you decided to piss the company's money away, you were Dinero's problem. When you were on Impact, again, you were outside of my jurisdiction, but now you're back in it, much like your first run on my show. Now I don't pull all the strings around here like I did before, but I do have enough power to make your life even more miserable than it is right now. When I saw that piss poor performance of yours on Velocity, it made me very angry, in fact I went looking for you after that, you can ask anyone, I was ready to fire your ass then and there, but never found you. However, now there's nowhere you can run, Aries, it's you and me in this ring and millions of fans watching, your fate is in my hands tonight.
What the other Austin failed to mention is you attributing your recent performance to burn out and the need for a vacation. You know, that takes a lot of balls on your part, but don't take that as a compliment, because I'm not commending your guts, I'm telling you what a slap in the face that was to both of us. I get it, the way Joseph Park ran things sucked the big one to the point that you don't have any passion left to come to work. There's a reason that brand was on the chopping block, company restart or not. It's not the burn out and the request for time off that has me pissed off, Austin, it's the fact that you had the balls to ask in the first place, but didn't have the balls to tell me and the other Austin sooner. If you'd spoken up a few weeks ago, you would've gotten your time off then and we wouldn't have the situation we have now, a Television Championship with damaged prestige because of how many times it's been hot potatoed around.
Which brings me to why I brought this shovel out here...
Without warning, Triple H drops the microphone and thrusts forward with the shovel, hitting Aries in the abdomen as he doubles over in pain. Triple H drops the shovel and pulls Aries' head in between his legs, delivering a thunderous Pedigree that pops the entire arena. Triple H stands up, reaches into his jacket pocket, and pulls out a bag that's tied at the top. He unties it and holds it upside down, emptying what appears to be dirt onto Aries. Triple H drops the bag and picks the shovel back up, patting down the dirt in a few places before standing the shovel up and picking his microphone back up.
Triple H: Buried.
Triple H exits the ring, shovel in hand, as Smackdown returns to commercial.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL FIVE
Smackdown is Stone Cold approved. And that's the bottom line!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Smackdown returns from commercial, the camera pans backstage to where Smackdown General Manager Stone Cold is standing by with Eddie Guerrero as the crowd cheers the appearance of both men.
Stone Cold: So you messed with his golf clubs?
Eddie Guerrero: Yeah, holmes. Pretty funny, right?
Stone Cold: Yeah, yeah, it's really funny. What isn't funny is the way you performed tonight. I mean, you're the holder of the Money in the Bank briefcase, the number one contender to the United States Championship, and a wrestling legend but none of that means jack if you aren't willin' ta' do yer job, Eddie!
Eddie Guerrero: I know, man, and I'm sorry, I just had an off week I guess.
Stone Cold: Well don't have another one, or yer gonna face the consequences.
Eddie Guerrero: (gulps) Consequences?
It's at this time that Triple H walks in, shovel in hand.
Triple H: Trust me amigo, you don't want me to use this shovel.
Triple H walks offscreen as Eddie looks nervous, the camera closing in on his worried expression as things head elsewhere.
As Smackdown returns to the ring, Raven and Angle are already in it ready for their match to get underway as the ring bell sounds.
DING DING!
Raven falls to his knees and low blows Angle as the referee goes to call for the immediate disqualification, Raven gets up and takes off running, bulldogging the referee so he can't disqualify him. Raven exits the ring and flips the apron up, reaching underneath it and pulling out a kendo stick as he flips the apron back down and re-enters the ring. Raven raises it over his head and swings downward but Kurt rolls out of the way and finds himself crouched as he stands up and runs over to Raven, locking his arms around his waist as he launches into a belly-to-back suplex. Angle turns and pops his hips, launching into another suplex before turning and popping his hips again, connecting with a third suplex in succession, releasing Raven this time.
As both men return to their feet, they charge one another but as Raven goes for the lock-up, Angle catches him with a European uppercut before pulling him in and connecting with a belly-to-belly suplex. Raven gets to his feet looking pissed off as he picks the kendo stick back up and begins swinging it wildly back and forth at Angle as Angle bobs and weaves to dodge each attempted strike until he tires of this and then grabs the kendo stick and pulls it out of Raven's hands, snapping it over his knee and throwing the pieces out of the ring. Raven charges Kurt and throws a right punch but Angle ducks it and slips under and around as he hoists Raven up and connects with an Angle Slam!
Raven gets up and punches the mat a few times, furious with himself for getting outwrestled as he stands up and removes his leather jacket, throwing it down. He coaxes Kurt to come after him and Kurt does as he connects with a rather stiff looking punch, as Raven goes to return the favor but Kurt smacks his arm away and headbutts him, at first just once but then it becomes a frenzied affair as Kurt continues to headbutt him, picking up the speed and impact with each one. After ten headbutts connect, Kurt backs off and looks at the bloody nosed Raven before pulling him in and connecting with another belly-to-belly suplex.
Taz: Raven's getting manhandled in there.
Joey Styles: It's a good thing they didn't make him exclusive to pay-per-view, it wouldn't have any buys.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Can he not wrestle without the use of weapons?
Raven gets up and wipes the blood away with his arm as he charges Kurt and takes him down with a lariat. Kurt hits the mat with sickening impact as Raven kicks his legs out and lands hard on Kurt's solar plexus as he reaches forward and grabs the Olympian by both sides of the head and begins to beat his head violently against the mat. The crowd is booing this when suddenly the camera angle switches so that it's shooting from behind Raven and the stage can be seen. It's at this time that Cody Rhodes comes walking out from the backstage, dragging a bloodied Mick Foley by the hair on the top of his head as the crowd gasps. Rhodes smiles and releases his grip on Foley as in the ring Raven releases Kurt and gets up angrily, audibly asking Rhodes, "What the hell are you doing?"
While this is going on, Angle rolls Raven up with a schoolboy as the referee counts the quick pin.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING!
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner, Kurt Angle!
Angle gets up and celebrates the win but a very angry Raven is up quickly as he shoves Angle. Angle shoves back and then Raven delivers a low blow and when Kurt doubles over, hooks his head and looks to be going for the Evenflow DDT but before he can follow through, he's hit with the Disaster Kick by Rhodes!
Joey Styles: What's going on here?
Taz: Cody got down to that ring faster than Speedy Gonzalez, Joe.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Cody Rhodes turning on both of his partners!
Rhodes begins delivering stomps to Raven viciously once he hits the mat as Kurt walks over. Cody looks at him and the two have a staredown as the crowd pops, thinking this is a powder keg ready to explode. After it looks as though the two are about to begin trading blows, Angle joins in on the beatdown. Raven can be heard screaming for Foley but as the camera pans up to the stage, it can be seen that Shark Boy is beating down on him as he stands him up just to bring him back down with a Chummer!
Angle suddenly exits the ring and takes off running up the ramp as the crowd cheers this, believing they're witnessing a change of heart in Rhodes and a new stable being formed but Angle delivers a clothesline to Shark Boy and he goes down as the crowd boos this. Angle pulls Foley to his feet and delivers an Angle Slam, dropping Mick on his head on the ramp and leaving him for dead as he goes after Shark Boy again, pulling him up to his feet and giving him the same treatment. Angle raises his arms in the air on the stage as Cody does the same in the ring, the crowd booing viciously as Smackdown returns to commercial.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMERCIAL SIX
Happy National Cotton Candy Day!(yesterday)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the night goes on, the cameras head backstage to the locker room of the International Heavyweight Champion Matt Morgan. The door opens abruptly and out steps his manager Paul Heyman. Heyman doesn't see the camera manor acknowledge his presence until he speaks up.
Camera man: Paul, can I ask you about Matt Morgan's huge match against UWF Champion tonight? What's he thinking?
Heyman's mouth just drops. He's obviously stunned by the stupid nature of the question. The manager shakes off his surprise and tries to answer the question.
Paul Heyman: My God, are you paid to ask the most basic and droll questions there are. Because if that's the only reason you're on payroll, then you're easily replaceable because there are about fifty people that I would've tolerated more than you. Where's that cute blonde Renee? At this point I'll even take Josh Matthews, but I guess I'm stuck with you.
Camera man: Uh..I guess.
Heyman: Well allow me to entertain your ridiculous question. My client, the International Heavyweight Champion is doing what he always does before a match. He's preparing. He's preparing for a massacre because that's exactly what it's going to be when he goes out to that ring and faces the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion Mister Montel Vontavious Porter. Mister Porter was fortunate enough to find himself in possession of the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Championship, a Championship that was held by the likes of CM Punk, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Cody Rhodes and many others. And soon enough, that Championship will belong to my client as well.
Camera man: How can you be so sure?
Heyman: How can I be so sure? Have you seen my client in that lately? He's been an unstoppable force. No one on this entire roster has been able to match up with Matt Morgan. No matter whether it's been I singles competition or whether it's been one of several opponents; Matt Morgan has dominated them all. And no fluke Champion is going to end the roll that my client has been on.
Camera man: And lastly, do you have any words for the Special Referee, Edge?
Heyman: In regards to Mister Copeland, it's real simple. You have not made an enemy in my client as of this point, I'd suggest he do himself a favor and not make that mistake because it will end bad for him. No, if you don't mind.
Heyman shoves the camera man out of the way and continues with his business and we soon fade elsewhere.
As Smackdown heads elsewhere, Stone Cold is seen standing backstage as the crowd cheers his appearance.
Stone Cold: I know you've seen a whole lot a' Stone Cold tonight, but I run things around here so that's my right. Anyhoo, let's get down ta' bidness. Starrcade's in two weeks and I got some matches to announce. For starters, in tag team action, Fandango and Ethan Carter the third will defend their World Tag Team Championships against the new team on the block, CM Punk and Colt Cabana, the Second City Saints. For the number one contendership to the United States Championship it's gon' be the "Show Off" Dolph Ziggler, King Booker, and Matt Hardy in triple threat action. And last but not least for the Hardcore Championship, depending on who wins next week's match-up, it's gonna be either Mr. Kennedy or Aye Jay Styles defendin' the Hardcore Championship in a four-way dance against Chris Masters, Carlito, and Sami Callihan! And that's all I got ta' say about that. Enjoy the main event.
The camera pans back to the ring.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The crowd is pumped as the main event is about to go under way with Matt Morgan and MVP are about to start off the match, Edge looking big and mighty with his referee's shirt on. Morgan and MVP both go to lockup in the center of the ring, Morgan easily getting the upper hand and chucks MVP across the ring onto the corner. MVP looks shocked as Morgan cracks his knuckles at MVP with Heyman having a big smile across his face. Morgan goes to MVP with a clothesline but hits the turnbuckles with MVP quickly evading the attack, then tries to hit some punches to the face but Morgan shoves away MVP, MVP falling to the canvas this time. Morgan has had enough of the play already and runs up to MVP and hammers away some huge fists to the back of MVP but MVP trips down Morgan and tries to go for a chinlock, but Morgan gets to his feet and lifts up MVP with a Chokeslam and nails MVP hard onto the ground! Heyman is ordering for Morgan to end it right there so Morgan goes to the ground for the cover. Edge though does a slow count..
1!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
And MVP kicks out! Matt Morgan looks at Edge with a fit of fury for making the show count, going up to him and getting close to his face. Edge just smiles and points to his shirt, saying that he's the special guest referee and says that he'll DQ Morgan on the spot. Morgan snorts out his displeasure and says that he better count faster next time or he'll destroy him on the spot. Edge backs off and MVP comes from behind Mogan and gets him into a rollup, Edge then quickly goes down and gives a fast count..
1!
.
2!
.
And Matt Morgan kicks out! Morgan is pissed off and MVP tries to go for a punch but Morgan knees MVP in the gut then throws him out to ringside. Morgan then turns around and approaches Edge in a blind rage and is yelling at him, asking him why he did a fast count. Edge then shrugs and says that Morgan didn't want him to do any slow counts anymore. Morgan is pissed off and is about to strike Edge but Edge points to the referee's shirt and reminds him that he's in charge of this match. Morgan shakes his head and turns around but MVP hits Morgan with a double axe handle! The crowd pops as Morgan goes down and MVP has a fighting chance again, and picks up Morgan then throws him to the corne and brings a hail of strikes to Morgan. MVP then backs away then runs up to Morgan, going for a Stinger Splash but Morgan moves out of the way and MVP crashes onto the ropes. Morgan then grabs a hold of MVP and brings him away from the ropes, going for a Hellevator but MVP slips out of it and hits a falling inverted DDT as a counter to Morgan! MVP gets the crowd going now as he brings Morgan to his knees and goes for a Playmaker but Morgan lifts up MVP and slams him with a front powerslam as a counter! Morgan then goes for the cover but Edge is seen talking to a female member of the audience, completely unaware of what's happening in the ring.
King: Haha! Look at Edge hitting up the puppies in the crowd. What a guy!
Styles: He's not even paying attention to the match! Who the hell allowed this guy to become the ref?!
Edge is done hitting up the broad in the crowd and turns to face the wrestlers in the match but Morgan is already up and is pissed off at Edge. Edge has a smile in his face, knowing that Morgan isn't going to do anything to Edge. Morgan is really wanting to hurt Edge right now but leaves Edge alone and goes after MVP instead to take out his frustrations. Edge looks on as Morgan grapples MVP and sets him up for the Hellevator, raising MVP high up in the air but Edge accidently backs up to Morgan and knocks him off balance, Morgan and MVP crashing to the canvas. Edge gives off a sarcastic 'oh no' look as Heyman is yelling at Edge now, Morgan almost gets to his feet but MVP goes up to Morgan and takes him down with a snap DDT! Edge goes 'oooh' as MVP covers Morgan and goes for the pin but Edge just stands there and doesn't move. MVP rises to his feet and confronts Edge about it but Edge just looks at him with the most intense look at MVP. MVP smiles and tells Edge that he's just jealous that he's not UWF Champ anymore, and that he's nothing without that belt. Edge goes 'pfft' and tells MVP to go back into the match, MVP turns around but Morgan hits him with the Carbon Footprint. Morgan takes a quick look at Edge before going for the cover. Edge then goes to his knees and decides to count down MVP in a normal fashion.
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
Edge stops the count and shakes his hand, then yells out loud that he developed a cramp in his hand and can't continue with the count. Edge rolls around the ring while holding onto his hand, grunting out in 'pain' as Morgan is furious with Edge. He tries to walk up to Edge but Heyman yells at Morgan for not to attack Edge or he'll be disqualified. Morgan storms away from Edge and lifts up MVP, trying to take his mind off of Edge. He lifts up MVP and places him into the fireman's carry position, about to finish off the match right there but MVP is able to wiggle his way out of the grip from Morgan and goes to his feet, then kicks Morgan in the stomach then nails the Playmaker onto Morgan! The crowd pops as MVP poses for the crowd, yelling out loud that he's going to become the unified champion. MVP then goes down and goes for the cover...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
And Matt Morgan kicks out! MVP thought he had it right there, but Edge just shakes his head and goes tsk tsk at MVP. MVP has had enough of Edge's bullshit so he approaches him and begins to yell at the former UWF Champion. Edge simply shrugs and tries to back away from MVP but MVP has snapped on Edge and is about to knock him out right there. Edge stands his ground but realizes that MVP is about to strike him but Morgan is up and turns around MVP, finally nailing him with the Hellevator! The crowd boos as Morgan goes for the cover and Edge gets on his knees and does the count...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
3!!!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Winner of this match: Matt Morgan!
Matt Morgan is celebrating his win with Edge trying to raise his arm up but Morgan shoves him away and is ready to flip out on Edge. Morgan runs after Edge but Edge sees it coming and Spears Morgan to the ground! Trish Stratus appears and hands Edge both the UWF and the International belts and holds them up high in the ring with both Morgan and MVP down on the ground. Heyman is since long gone to avoid any conflict with Edge as Edge has a smile to the crowd, yelling out that he is the last man standing tonight and will be the last man standing at Starrcade. Edge then holds onto the UWF Championship and kisses it, then the credits roll to signal that the show has ended for the week.
CREDITS
Main event, tag match-natlav
Eddie/Masters, Storm/Booker-The Hoov
Matt Hardy promo-Aniking
Cody Rhodes promo-rawisrey
Carlito promo-The Red
Second City Saints promo-Shawn
Heyman promo-Cwalker
Fandango and EC3 promo-CaptainxBumout
Aries/HHH, Kennedy/911, Show opening, Raven/Angle, Guerreros promo, Austin promos, piecing the show together-Chris Dresden
CONFIRMED FOR STARRCADE
TRIPLE THREAT LAST MAN STANDING
UWF & INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP UNIFICATION
Matt Morgan(c) vs. MVP(c) vs. Edge
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
The Undertaker(c) vs. Eddie Guerrero
HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
Mr. Kennedy/AJ Styles vs. Sami Callihan vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters
WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
Fandango & Ethan Carter III(c) vs. The Second City Saints
CONTENDERSHIP FOR U.S. CHAMPIONSHIP
Dolph Ziggler vs. King Booker vs. Matt Hardy
