The pyro spews through out the arena as the fans cheer like crazy as they are cheering. Signs are shown through out the arena, and The fans are excited. We take you the legendary commentary crew of Jim Ross and Roddy Piper.
JR: Good evening ladies and gentleman! Welcome to the final edition of Tuesday Night RAW! In a short few days we will witness one of the biggest events in UWF history that will feature the biggest match ever known to man!
Piper: The only thing that may be bigger then the Rumble Match is JR's head, but there is alot to be excited about JR!
JR: You may be right Roddy but tonight is going to be no different! Three title matches are scheduled for tonight as well as a Smackdown vs RAW match that will be happening!
Piper: Wait you mean the assholes from Smackdown are here tonight? Well that's just great...
Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch blasts through the speakers bringing this Raw audience to their feet to boo the Number one Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, Tyson Kidd. Kidd isn't alone however as with him as always is the Anvilette, Natalya, is on his arm but this time there's more. As Kidd is making his way down the entrance way, behind him and Natalya are two men in suits. One man is carrying a briefcase as they're both following Kidd & Natalya. All four enter the ring as Kidd poses on the corner turnbuckle to a chorus of boos from this hot crowd. As Kidd's music fades, he's handed a microphone and holds it up to his mouth to address his situation at the upcoming Royal Rumble.
Tyson Kidd
"Now, as everyone here in attendance and everyone that's sitting at home knows, I am your next World Heavyweight Champion. And I become your next World Heavyweight Champion at this Sundays Royal Rumble when I cripple the Showstopper, Shawn Michaels. Now there is one minor detail that could be a problem for me come Sunday. That would be Shawn's best friend, last week he seemed to be Shawn's knight in shining armor when he saved him from permanent injury, he's the COO of this company, and this Sunday, he'll be the special referee in my match, you all know him as the Cerebral Assassin, Triple H. Now I don't have to come out here and remind any of you of their history, and how far they go back. You'd have to be living under a rock to not know that those two are best friends. So that's why I can't buy into the fact that Triple H is going to be impartial this Sunday. That's why I, have a plan..."
Kidd motions over to the man with the briefcase, Kidd snaps open the briefcase to grab what looks to be a contract. Kidd brings the microphone back up to his mouth.
Tyson Kidd
"See I had my lawyers type up a little contract for you Hunter. This contract is for me, and my well being. Making sure that this Sunday, that everything is fair and that I'm safe. Now there's nothing outrageous in this contract Hunter, it just states that you can't touch me or harm me in anyway. See this is fair, because we all know that you're going to be that impartial official you said you were going to be, so at the end of the day, you have nothing to worry about, right? But I couldn't stop there right? You don't have to physically touch me for you to screw me out of what's mine, I know you, you're a thinking man, this contract prevents any foul play on your part. That means that you can't disqualify me, you can't count me out. This match ends when you count to three with Shawn's shoulders on the mat. Anything else, I sue you and the UWF for everything you're both worth. I've already signed the contract, it's just waiting on your signature, so come on out here Hunter, we're all waiting on you."
Kidd, Natalya, and his lawyers are all in the ring waiting for the COO, Triple H. The crowd is waiting in anticipation for the Game to come out but it doesn't look like that's going to be the case as Triple H doesn't look to be anywhere in site. After around a minute, Kidd gets tired of waiting and brings the microphone back up to his mouth.
Tyson Kidd
"You know what, I thought this might happen. I mean sure, is the risk really worth it? Fine Hunter, don't come out here, don't sign the contract. I just won't wrestle Sunday and you can have fun refunding all those idiots in San Antonio who paid to see me. I'll still get paid, and I won't get screwed that way so it's this is all on you now. You have to decide what's more important here Hunter, your friendship to Shawn, or this company. You're all about what's best for business, well if you want to save Shawn at the Rumble, than you and this company will be bankrupt, and that doesn't really sound best for business to me. But, if that's what you want, if losing millions of dollars sounds okay to you, then fine, I'll take my happy ass back to Calgary and collect me paycheck as you explain to all these people why there isn't a title match Sunday."
Kidd hands the microphone to Natalya as the crowd boos even louder. She's smiling also as she's looking at Tyson read through the contract. She brings the microphone to her mouth as the crowd shows their hatred for the Canadian duo.
Natalya Neidhart
"Tyson, you couldn't be any more right. Triple H would rather risk his entire company than do the right thing. What does that tell all of you? That he would rather pick his best friend that any of you. Instead of doing what's right and giving all of you the match that you want to see, he'd rather throw all that away just so Shawn can keep his Championship. It might not even be that, because at the end of the day it's all because we finally figured a way to even the odds and it probably pissed him off. He knows deep down that Shawn can't win and it makes him feel so defenseless knowing that there's nothing he can do to help his best friend. But that friendship means so much to him, much more than the UWF obviously as he's willing to run this company into the ground all because he can't be fair. So, if that's the way he wants it... As of this very moment, the World Heavyweight Championship match between Shawn Michaels and Tyson Kidd is here by cancele-"
Suddenly...
The music of the COO of the UWF hits the PA System and the crowd rise to their feet. The COO comes out looking disgusted by the events he has just heard in the ring. Still Triple H makes his way down to the ring despite the clear frustration this situation has given him. He steps into the ring and is handed a mic before he begins to speak to the duo and their lawyers.
Triple H: Alright, alright, alright. Here I am! No need to get your panties into a bunch. Hell you’d think I killed your mother, not going to officiate a match at the Royal Rumble. You seriously called me, the King of Kings, your boss, for a piece of paper? Let me see that damn thing.
Triple H takes the contract from the head lawyer of Kidd’s entourage and quickly begins to skim it and read it. He has a perplexed look on his face, rolling his eyes at points, before licking his fingers and turning to the final page. After he reads it he puts the contract to the side and shakes his head.
Triple H: So just to make sure I have these terms correct you or any of these stooges can feel free to correct me, but here is the deal. I will call this match at the Royal Rumble on Sunday right down the line, and will not put my hands on the competitors or in any way attempt to favor or screw said competitors out of the match. If I fail to do so I will be sued for all I’m worth by one Tyson Kidd who will thus also immediately be named the UWF World Heavyweight Champion. Is that correct?
The head lawyer of Kidd nods his head that is correct as Kidd throws his arm around Natalya with a smug look on his face. Triple H begins to laugh.
Triple H: Wow, man, you need to find yourself a new bunch of lawyers. I mean really if I wanted to screw you, or kick your ass at the Royal Rumble I wouldn’t think twice about it. Fact is, if I were to screw you, you’d never see a damn bit of money and that World Title reign would be as phony as the one you had at Starrcade. You see what I think this contract here says, it says Tyson Kidd is nothing but a damn chicken shit!
The crowd pop in excitement agreeing with Triple H and Tyson Kidd is furious with Triple H’s claim. His lawyers are forced to step in front of him before he can attack Triple H. “We’ll see who’s chicken shit when I’m the Champ!” Kidd can be heard shouting.
Triple H: Yeah that’s right hold him back guys, you might want to let your client there know what the whole assault thing is, because believe me you want to play with lawyers I’m happy to play with lawyers as well. You see it doesn’t matter if its in the board room, in a court of law, or in this ring where I really do business the outcome is the same. I will do what I want and there isn’t a damn thing anyone can do to stop me. But I’ll tell you what? I’m going to sign this contract here, hey bald guy with the glasses come here. Give me a pen will ya.
One of the lawyers who is bald and has glasses comes forward and hands Triple H a pen. Triple H grabs the balding lawyer and spins him around so he can put the contract on his back and sign, Triple H signs the contract before nonchalantly handing the pen and contract to the lawyer. The lawyer looks it over and nods to all present in the ring that indeed Triple H has signed the deal.
Triple H: See you happy now, I signed the damn thing. Now I won’t be able to touch you or Shawn. But let me just say this, I didn’t sign because you were threatening not to compete at the Royal Rumble. Oh no no no no no. The reason I signed is because I don’t need to get involved, because come the Royal Rumble this Sunday I’m not the one who you should be afraid of. The man you should be afraid of is the Showstopper, the Heartbreak Kid, Mr. Wrestlemania himself, the man who is standing right behind you.
Kidd turns around and standing right behind him is Shawn Michaels who had moments earlier literally came out of the crowd. HBK doesn’t waste any time tackling the Number one contender down to the mat and begins driving right hands into Cliq… I mean Kidd. The lawyers attempt to stop it but Triple H gets in the way allowing the two superstars to roll around on the ground brawling with each other.
JR: Things have just escalated to a whole other level right here Hot Rod. The World Champion and Challenger duking it out in the ring just days before the title match.
Piper: Triple H may not be able to put his hands on Tyson Kidd at the Royal Rumble, but you can already see ways in which Triple H can help out his old buddy in this match. Triple H should be disgusted with himself.
Natalya rushes by Triple H and begins pulling Shawn off of Kidd. The crowd boo as Shawn seeing it’s a woman and has a code gets off of Kidd. However he doesn’t look to happy with Natalya. She suddenly realizes Shawn’s sights are set on her and she begins backing up. “You know if you weren’t a woman I’d knock your teeth out!”
Piper: Look at that bully Shawn Michaels, bullying a defenseless girl who was only doing the right thing and protecting her man.
JR: Shawn watch out behind you!
The crowd are prepared for the worst as Kidd attempts to splash HBK from behind, but the World Champion has eyes in the back of his head as he moves out of the way. Thankfully at the last minute Kidd is able to stop himself from crushing Natalya but it is all the time HBK needs to set himself. Kidd turns and gets blasted with the Sweet Chin Music and the crowd erupts into the loudest ovation of the night. Kidd hits the deck like a ton of bricks as Natalya gets the hell out of dodge.
Piper: Are you kidding me?! Damn that Shawn Michaels, damn him to hell for almost forcing Kidd to injure that poor girl. If Kidd wasn’t such a great athlete he would have hurt her.
JR: For weeks Tyson Kidd has been talking and talking and talking some more Hot Rod, this week Shawn Michaels decided to let his actions do the talking and the World Champion is looking good heading into the 2nd annual Royal Rumble!
HBK stands tall in the ring as Natalya looks on tending to her man looking horrified. HHH hands his friend the World Heavyweight Championship and the two stare at each other uneasy before HHH departs from the ring. HBK then stands tall with the World Heavyweight Championship as UWF Raw heads to its final commercial break of the evening.
Justin Roberts: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the UWF Transatlantic Championship
Drew McIntyres theme hits the arena, the crowd boos in reaction as the feed cuts to the titantron. Once the theme kicks in the feed cuts back to the arena, Drew comes out through the curtain with a smirk on his face. He starts to make his way down the ramp, taking his time with each step.
Justin Roberts: Introducing the challengers, First: From Ayr, Scotland weighing in at 254 pounds...Drew McIntyre
Drew climbs up the steel steps looking out at the crowd for a moment or two before stepping into the ring and looking towards the hard camera when his theme is interrupted.
Sheamus theme hits the arena, as the crowd give him a mixed reaction he pounds his chest and extends his arms out before making his way down the ramp
Justin Roberts: And his opponent, From Dublin, Ireland weighing in at 267 pounds...Sheamus.
Sheamus runs up the steps and gets in the ring, extending his arms out before staring at McIntyre for a moment.
Test walks through the curtain with Stacy in tow.
Justin Roberts: And their opponent, From Toronto, Ontario, Canada weighing in at 285 pounds, being accompanied by Stacy Keibler, Test.
Test just marches down the ramp, hopping up on the ring apron and stepping into the ring. taking his place in his corner.
Hogans theme hits the arena, the crowd liven up as Hogan comes out through the curtain. But unlike most times he seems to just walk straight down to the ring title in hand not stopping to slap hands or check for reactions.
Justin Roberts: And their opponent, From Venice Beach, California he is the UWF Transatlantic Champion: Hulk Hogan.
Hogan steps into the ring tossing the title to the referee and ripping his shirt and just steps back to the corner. The referee holds the title up for everyone to see before handing it off to the time keeper.
.
Ding Ding Ding
The bell rings, and suddenly Test, Drew, and Sheamus charge Hogans corner. The three men start collectively beating down the Hulkster with clubbing blows bringing him down to the mat as they start to stomp away on him and shove his body under the ropes and to the outside. Test turns around and raises his fist in the air as Sheamus turns to one side beating his chest and McIntyre stares out of the ring at Hogans position. Test turns around and gets a smirk on his face, smacking his thigh as he measures Drew up, he turns and Test charges forward. Drew side steps him and Test boot goes flying through the air missing it’s mark and straddling himself on the top rope. As he grimaces in pain, on the tips of his toes trying to alleviate the pain, McIntyre charges with his forearms forward shoving him off the ropes stumbling to the apron and to the outside.
JR: Well it seems things are starting off quickly in this match, getting rid of the champion early and now we’re down to two men in the ring in a matter of seconds.
McIntyre turns right into a right hand to the jaw stumbling him back into the ropes lightly bouncing off them, Sheamus catches him coming back lifting him up on his shoulders and carrying him to the middle of the ring. Before he can go for anything he gets rocked by a sharp elbow shot to the side of the head, Drew slips off him and takes a step back as Sheamus holds his head in pain. He turns and McIntyre jumps forward with both feet in the air, catching Sheamus square on the head with one foot as both men drop to the mat at the same time. Drew kicks his feet up in the air and kicks himself back up to his feet and extending his hands out showing off for the crowd.
JR: What a vicious modified dropkick by Drew McIntyre, but I feel he’s wasting time here.
Piper: Everyone else is down Ross, if you’ve got the match going your way can you blame him to relish in it a little.
As Drew looks around he notices Hogan is starting to pull himself up by the bottom rope, getting back into the ring. As he goes to stand up Drew starts smacking him across the back, before he pulls him to a vertical base by his head. Hogan moves his hands off him and hits him with a big right hand and rocks him back, Hogan measures him up and hits another right hand sending him back to the ropes. Hogan hits one last shot before whipping him to the ropes, Hogan goes for the boot but Drew baseball slides under it. Hogan turns and walks right into a kick to the sternum, doubling him over in pain. Drew hooks up both arms, looking for the Future Shock. But before he can kick his leg back, Sheamus charges forward and clotheslines him, making him let go of Hogan and flip over the top rope and to the outside.
JR: Just in time to save the match, Sheamus able to get back in the game.
Sheamus turns around when out of nowhere Test rushes forward and hits him with a big boot to the skull knocking him out in the middle of the ring. Test gaining so much momentum he stumbles a bit once he has both his feet on the floor, that hesitation allows Hogan to grab him by the back of the head and send him sailing towards the corner. His head hitting the metal part holding the pad to the ring post before he falls out of the ring, Hogan lightly bounces off the ropes and drops a leg on Sheamus’ already limp body before hooking the leg up.
1
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2
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Drew Rushes in
3
Drew hits Hogan across the back but the bell is rung.
*Ding Ding Ding*
Hogan Rolls out of the ring and goes to the timekeeper, grabbing his title and heading up the ramp as McIntyre looks at the ref in confusion.
Here is your winner, and STILL UWF Transatlantic Champion: Hulk Hogan.
The crowd almost seems confused by the sudden end, as Hogan doesn’t do his normal celebration, putting the title on his shoulder and walking off.
JR: Well that was…
Piper: That was disappointing, just say it Ross
JR: I will say, I expected more from these four competitors especially with a Championship on the line. I mean it seemed like Drew tried to stop the count but at the end he was just too late.
As the UWF World Tag Team Championship Match comes to an end, the lights sudden cut out, leaving the entire arena in complete darkness. The black if filled with the ecstatic and baffled cheers of thousands upon thousands of the UWF faithful, a roar multiplied tenfold when a mysterious blue and light flickering begins to shimmer around the arena chaotically. A strange melody arises from the PA system, filling alls ears with wonder and delight. It builds, slowly, enchantingly....
And when dat bass drop more fireworks than have ever been set off in any building ever explode around the building and ten nearest city blocks. Somewhere, an orphan is adopted and a rare Korean lotus blossums out of season as the titantron flashes to life and reads:
AS WAS FORETOLD
The fans scream in awe, because could it be? Could it possibley be what they have all been waiting for? After such a long, horrible, barren time of desolation and despair, could it really be true? The titantron once again changes...
THEY HAVE COME AGAIN
Dozens of fan girls faint while seniors are rushed away from their chairs, lest they need immediate medical attention. Grown men weep while their children tremble. Shirt are torn, undergarments cast into the air. A voice long gone, but never forgotten, resounds throughout the building and through millions of television screens around the world.
IN A WORLD FULL OF WINNERS AND LOSERS,
TWO MEN HAVE RISEN ABOVE...
TO BRING SALVATION TO THE TAG TEAM DIVISION~!
More fireworks! More smoke machines! More strobe lights! And after on intense instant of sensory explosion, the GREATEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF WRESTLING stands tall on the UWF stage! Hung over their shoulders are the unified ETW Tag Team Championships and the ETW World Tag Team Championships - the title the NEVER LOST during their UNDEFEATED RUN in the summer of 2008. They have not aged physically in the slightest, although they have grown astronomically in wisdom and strength. Apart, they have since had many endeavours, but now, reunited as team by THE POWER OF GREY SKULL~! they have returned, as was foretold, and with them, a reign of terror and calamity, enlightenment and salvation, glory and jealousy.
The Miz, shirtless but with, fedora-over-bandana, flashy shorts and boots, stands next to his spirit brother John Morrison, in his infamous golden jacket, ripped from the hollow bones of Big Bird itself. The latter raises his mic and stares at the ring towards the UWF World Tag Team Champions. His words are as much a hiss of disdain as they are a war cry of Thor.
Morrison: LOSERS!
Thunder can be rolling in the distance. The crowd erupts with glee as Miz raises his own mic.
The Miz: How... dare... you... tarnish our ring... our championship belts... with your hideous, obese, unshowered, liberal bodies. You disgusting, mouth-breathing, cat-loving tools. Have you no shame? None at all? Was the library so busy that you had to skip Reading Corner with Cidny the domestic abuse recovery to come hear, to our home, and shat on our night with you dumb stupid faces? Was it so hard to find your way to the Pizza Hut buffet behind that stanky east-side Walmart that you ended up here instead, and convinced yourselves that you actually belonged out in public? Had it not occurred to you that these people, OUR people would rather have their eyes gouged out by a tribe of falcons than have you clumsily bumble around in front of them like a bunch of brain-damaged gophers - that you might incite a mob like Frankenstein resulting in a torch and pitchfork affair that would no doubt upend the very stability of this great city? Where is your decency? Are your hearts that dark? Of course they are - because I know, yeah I know that you were zitty, overweight, volley-ball at best kids in school. You drank strawberry milk every day and you knew how scientific calculators worked and YOU WERE UNLOVED! Not just by the cool kids or hot chicks, but by your cousins, and your teachers, and your mothers and fathers and especially your pets. And now... ha! Now you take that despicable grossness that is your very nature and your spread it over OUR UWF Universe like the cheese whiz you used to spread on everything you ate in your first year at community college in New Jersey. Well know this...
No longer will such treachery or debauchery be allowed! Not in OUR UWF! We are the GREATEST TAG TEAM OF ALL-TIME, E-FED OR OTHERWISE! Alone, we are awesome, together, we are invincible. We are the justice and beauty that monsters like you have sabotaged for over five years now. But no... not any more. Not for a single day more will you be allowed to camp on our home, like gypsies squatting in a Hilton parking lot. We will burn... you.... down... alive... with.... lightning... fire.... drop those belts in the ring and walk away now, or suffer a fate worse than the tragedies you call your lives.
Miz lowers his mic to a deafening applause from the people. Morrison waits for them to quiet down (which takes a long three minutes) before continuing.
Morrison: Have I not strolled through the canyons of charisma only to charm the great snakes of infinity? Have I not walked through the valley of the shadow of death and still worn the bedazzled sunglasses? Have I not pondered all mysteries and fathomed all things and then tweeted those things in less than 140 characters? Have I not stared into the soul of the Sphinx and laughed and made fun of its face, to its face? Have I not seen Star Wars over a hundred times and still not become a nerd, or a geek? Have I not collected the dragon balls, only to tell the Great Shenron that I wish for the Genie from Alladin? Have I not chiseled The Palace of Wisdom from the granite of Eternal Enlightenment, just as my abs were perfect chiseled from my flawless bronze skin? Have I not opened the third eye with a heroin needle? Have I not tamed the King of All Wolves?
The crowd suddenly notices a massive, white-haired wolf, standing loyally beside Morrison, calm in position but teeth barred towards the men in the ring. Morrison pets the wolf sensually, ever its human master and friend.
Morrison: And yet mortal men like you still challenge, and you still doubt. You lay claim to thrones never relinquished, to titles never earned. You say you are master when you have not even conquered the simple art of the diet. I sense your chi and it is weak, where as mine flows like a river around you, waiting to engulf you a the typhoon of sexiness might. A storm approaches and you think you are prepared - for until now it has only been a cloud floating in the back of your minds. Behold! Tonight it has arrived. On the eve of the journey to Wrestlemania, we have returned, and we have come for the championship gold that it ours. You may have noticed our UNIFIED ETW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS. You may remember that we were UNDEFEATED AS A TEAM AND AS SINGLES COMPETITORS WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER so many years ago. You have heard the legends and trembled, but in the hubris of your false victory, you have foolishly forgotten. And now I laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! For the hour has come for salvation. Brace yourselves if you dare, but know that against GODS, the will an insects is folly.
View attachment 686
The Miz: We are the true ETW Tag Team Champions of Old and we now lay claim to ALL UWF Tag Team Championships. We are untouchable, we are beyond human descriptions of beauty, and we are WINNERS.
Morrison: Be jealous.
The audience once again goes absolutely insane with cheers and applause as a flash of smoke and sudden darkness come over the arena. When the lights return, The Miz and Morrison (and the King of All Wolves) have vanished, but their warning remains.
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The feed's interrupted with static but is instantaneously live again as the picture shows the glorious trio of Rob Van Dam, Sabu and their manager, Bill Alfonso.
Bill Alfonso
THE GREATEST TAG TEAM IN ALL OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT! WE GOT IT, DADDY! BILL ALFONSO HAS BROUGHT BACK MR. TUESDAY NIGHT AND THE HOMICIDAL SUICIDAL SABU! YOU BETTER GET READY RAW, BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER, WE'RE GONNA GET SOME GOLD!
Rob Van Dam
That's right, Fonz. Now, unfortunately for you dudes, RVD isn't booked in a match for tonight, but you can all catch my return to the ring, when I mana-
Interrupting him, Sabu slightly pushes Van Dam back. RVD quickly regathers and continues.
I mean, when we manage to score ourselves a briefcase in this Rags to Riches match. Now, *obviously*, RVD isn't a stranger to briefcases and championship gold, so after the Rumble, it will only be a matter of time before The Sheik adds more belts to his already stocked full cabinet. So let this just be a warning here, dudes, because at least for tonight, you boys are safe, but come after the Rumble? RVD will be coming to smoke, your, ass.
Alfonso's whistle begins to deafen as you can hear Van Dam say "you too, Sabu," giving him a thumbs up. The camerman keeps moving back and forth as we see Van Dam attempt to whistle with his middle finger and thumb as Sabu shows us where the Sheik is. Eventually the scene fades out, the whistle leaving a ringing around the arena.
The feed goes backstage, as Damien Sandow is staring into the camera.
Damien Sandow:
“Heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight but, while their companions slept, they were toiling upward in the night.” Quote Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American Poet and educator. Over the past month many a man have laid claim to victory in the Royal Rumble bout, and depending on how convincing their argument each one has had his fair share of supporters from the people watching. Sentimental favorites like Daniel Bryan and AJ Styles, Favorites based on the merit of their past accomplishments like Dean Ambrose and Steve Borden, to favorites based entirely on the surprise factor, on the You never know plan like Shark Boy and Reverend D-Von. There are some who had early claim to it like Christian, there are those who just now have laid their claims like John Cena. But I…I am not concerned whether or not I am a favorite in this bout, which by the looks of it is a good thing as it seems I have been overlooked, that because 29 men all agree on their hatred towards me, I’ve been cast aside and forgotten about.
Which is precisely the ideal position to be in, for I only require the attention of everyone when I am the last one in the ring…many of the people in the bout have stated why they want to win it: To prove their superiority, to headline Wrestlemania, but I seek victory because my beacon light needs to shine at the grandest stage of them all…I need to win this match to become the Worlds Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania and forever prove my word true. Tonight I face a team comprised of three Smackdown superstars, and while I lead my team to victory it will be simply a way to show them what is to come…and while they sleep on their laurels, I shall quietly and methodically outlast and outwit… This Sunday, on the second day of the second month, in the year Two Thousand and Fourteen Anno Domini…I WILL…Ahem…I Will win the Royal Rumble, and at Wrestlemania in what will forever be remembered as the day the Era of Enlightenment began, I shall raise above my head the Worlds Heavyweight Championship. And everything that has happened up until now will simply be remembered as B.S…Before Sandow. And you, my ignorant children shall be handed the cure to your own self-imposed ignorance…I shall give you all deliverance from incompetence itself, and put an end to the confederacy of delinquents that has formed and taken over todays society…and as always I do this for the benefit, the well-being, and the common good of each and every one of you…You’re Welcome.
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentleman the following contest is a tables match for the UWF Tag Team Championship!
Justin Roberts: Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 460 pounds; Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns.... THE SHIELD!!!
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Justin Roberts: And introducing their opponents; weighing in at a combined weight of 481 pounds; Reverend D'Von and Bubba Ray Dudley....
The Dudley Boyz!
Vs.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The Shield and the Dudleys stare down each other as they waste no time. Bubba Ray goes and he begins to brawl with the big bad Roman Reigns, and D-Von seems to have put Seth Rollins in a corner, and begins driving his shoulder into the stomach area of Rollins. Reigns and Bubba are slugging with each other back and forward as Reigns goes for a big punch, but he misses and Bubba starts to go with a familiar combination of punches. The fans cheer as Bubba ends it with a headbutt as he raises his hands up high in the sky. Bubba goes and he begins to aid D-Von as he begins punching the face of the trap Rollins.
Jim Ross: The Dudley Boyz sure working well here Hot Rod!
Roddy Piper: No shit Jimbo they kind have been doing this for like I don’t know 20 years.
D-Von lets go, and Bubba irish whips Rollins right into D-Von who catches him and hits a belly to belly suplex. D-Von goes as he spins around and screams “testify”, as Bubba goes and he pushes him. D-Von looks on at Bubba as he says: “D-Von” and the fans respond with get the tables! D-Von smiles, but as D-Von turns around he is met with a big boot by Roman Reigns. Bubba goes and he tries to attack Roman Reigns with a clothesline, but Reigns catches him and he hits a spinebuster onto Bubba Ray. Reigns goes and he heads to the outside as he grabs a table and he slides it into the ring.
Jim Ross: Seems like Reigns is not wasting anytime here.
Roddy Piper: How he wasn’t champion on Anarchy?
Reigns goes as he sets the table right by the turnbuckle. Reigns goes and he picks up the local Reverend D-Von and he throws him head first into the table. The table doesn’t break, but instead topples over D-Von as he is down. Reigns looks visibly upset that the table didn’t break. So Reigns goes and he picks up his down comrade in Rollins and he points at the table. Rollins tells Reigns to “set it up”. Reigns does in the middle of the ring. Rollins conducts Reigns to put D-Von onto the table in which he does and he holds him there. Rollins is on the top rope looking to do a high flying move.
Jim Ross: Bah gawd Rollins might win it here folks.
Rollins looks like in prime position when all of a sudden a risen Bubba Ray goes and pushes him off the turnbuckle causing Rollins to fall on his nuts. Reigns goes and he lets go of D-Von on the table, and turns his attention back to Bubba Ray, Reigns goes after Bubba Ray, but Bubba sees him and hits a series of shots on him. These shots cause Reigns to back off a bit as he is dazed on the ropes leaning on them. Bubba goes and he catches Reigns with a sitout spinebuster, D-Von is now up as Bubba hold Reigns legs open. D-Von heads to the top turnbuckle, and Bubba and D-Von scream Wazzup at each other hitting there signature double team move.
Jim Ross: The Dudley Boyz sure are remarkable.
D-Von goes and he scream “Testify” as the fans boo him like crazy. D-Von goes and he begins the table in the middle of the ring. The fans cheer as they know what is coming next he 3D. Reigns is getting up, but as the Dudleys go for a the 3d Rollins kicks the leg out of the table, and Reigns gets hit with a sloppy 3D by the Dudleys. Rollins goes and he turns to D-Von and hits him with a running neckbreaker. Rollins then goes to the ropes bounces off of them hitting a springboard kick right onto Bubba Ray causing him to fall down from the move. Rollins goes and he sets up the table into the corner. Rollins goes and he picks up Reigns and he tells him to spearBubba through that table. Reigns goes and he smiles as he goes and he measures up Bubba. Bubba is getting up and Reigns is charging with the spear. The fans cheer as Bubba moves out of the way. Reigns stops, but Bubba goes and he does a full nelson hitting the bubba bomb. The fans cheer. Rollins goes and he looks shock as he bumps into D-Von. D-Von goes and he lifts him up hitting the Sit out spinebuster. They grab the table and put it in the middle of the ring, and the fans know what is next. Rollins gets up, when all of a sudden 3D through the table as the bell rings
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner and still tag team champions Bubba Ray, Reverend D-Von, the Duddley Boyz!
As the Dudley Boyz are celebrating their win, the camera cuts to backstage.
We head backstage where, HBK is standing by
HBK: Last week on Raw, we saw the true colors of one, Tyson Kidd. You crossed the line little boy. You want to come out here and parade around about how you're the best and act like your shit doesn't stink. I am at my boiling point with you. At the Royal Rumble I end this! There will be no rematch. Your true colors of a yellow spine were written all over Raw last week with that blindside attack. Someone who is the best doesn't need to attack a man from behind. But that is also what separates the boys from the men. You can act like a tough guy when you attack a man from behind, but when push comes to shove, you're just like the rest of the stiffs in that locker room that cannot measure up to my ability in the ring. That's why, Batista, Sandow, Wyatt, Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Dean Ambrose, did not go on and win the World Title battle Royal. I am above them all and it's about time I start acting like it because at the end of the day, the truth hurts and Kidd, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you're nothing more than a stepping stone for ole', HBK, to get to WrestleMania as still the World Champion. Now........
HBK sees someone from a distance
HBK: Excuse me
HBK walks away from the camera and as the footage picks up what's going on, they show, HBK arguing with, Triple H
HBK: What the hell do you think you were doing out there last week?
Triple H: Shawn, calm down, I was.....
HBK: No, Hunter, no excuses. You have stuck your nose in a place it doesn't belong just because your no longer in the spotlight and it is eating you alive that you aren't here anymore. You're jealous of the fact you can't be in my spot anymore because you sold out to the higher power. So you have to reign in on my parade. Isn't that the same little speech you gave me when I came back in 2002 from my back injury after four years and then gave me a pedigree while we brought back D-X.
Triple H: Ahhh don't give me that bullshit, Shawn. I went out there to do the right thing. As your friend, I was there to make sure that, Kidd, did not get an advantage because of how immature and trashy he is. As the referee for Sunday, I did not cross the line so I don't want to hear this crap from you anymore. And from the way I saw it, you were getting your ass handed to and needed me to help you. I already told you that I will call this match down the line and won't favor or listen to make this outcome any different than it should be.
HBK: Yeah we'll see about that. Remember what I told you when I called you out to that ring a few weeks ago. If you're really my best friend, you'll do the right thing.
As HBK goes to walk off, Triple H stops him
Triple H: And just to make one thing clear, Shawn. If I wanted to, I'd take that World Title from you at the snap of my fingers. Remember that!
The two have a long stare down before the camera fades
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Dean Ambrose: The Royal Rumble. 30 men enter but only one man can be the one left standing when the dust has all settled. I've been a survivor all my life. I saw UWF nearly collapse in on itself but I survived. Numerous people have come and gone including people in charge but I've always survived. I've been dealt nothing but a crap hand but I've kept surviving. But now's the time where I stop surviving and instead I thrive. I'm not going to hide off in some corner and watch as people get eliminated one after the other. No I'm going to stand right in the middle of the ring, trading blows with whoever's closest and sending as many people as I can over those ropes. I'm going to show everyone exactly what it takes to be the man in this company.[/COLOR]
The crowd can be heard cheering in the background.
Dean Ambrose: I don't care whose champion at the end of the Rumble. Whether it's the man who stole my last championship from me or the young hot upstart whose challenging him. Whether it's the man whose been deemed unstoppable or the man with the fancy cars and jewelry. Maybe none of them will be champion by the time we get to WrestleMania. A lot of things can happen on this so called road but I'm a bulldozer, ramming through everything until I reach the end. Either I become a five time World Heavyweight Champion, or I win my very first UWF Championship. It doesn't matter which because at the end of the day it will be me standing alone in the ring on the grandest stage of them all holding my world title like I should be. Last year I was too good compete in the Royal Rumble and the eventual winner backed down against me. This time it's my turn to compete and show that not even 29 other men can stop me.
UWF Raw goes backstage to John Cena sat on a chair, mauling to himself but he's got something important to say.
John Cena: Ya know, a lot of people gave me that look backstage when I was The European Champion; that look you get from everyone when you’re a Champ and it’s the kind of look you wanna get 'cause it means you’re the top dog; the man everyone wants a piece of, that look means you got one big target on your back, that look means you’re something, that look means you’re the hot shhh…
John Cena shushes himself before he swears knowing he’s on live television, while it’s Rated R, even John Cena has some limits especially on his road to redemption.
But when I look at Hulkster, I don’t see that look, I don’t feel the need to give him that look, hell, I haven’t seen one single guy give him that look; so what does that say about The Hulkster? What does that say about The Transatlantic Championship? It ain’t nothing but a paper championship! And who’s to blame for that? The boss? Nop, The Belt itself? Nop! The only people to blame are those fighting for it, they think they’re above it, especially when the champ thinks he’s above it then that belt ain’t gonna go anywhere fast!
Every other championship in UWF gets that look because people give a damn about it, especially those holding it! I got that look every time I bumped into somebody backstage, it didn’t matter whether it was my arch-nemesis Dean Ambrose or Sin Cara, all dem boys in the back gave me that look because they wanted a piece of The Champ and his championship! I was on everyone’s lips, Raw wasn’t about The World Heavyweight Championship, it was about “Who is gonna dethrone The Champ?” and that is some mean feat and I find it insulting when some chumps say that me and The Hulkster similar when that guy doesn’t get that look from anybody, he doesn’t care about being The Transatlantic Champion; all The Hulkster cares about is being the top dawg but I got news for you, ‘son’ you don’t need to be The World Champ to be the top dawg; you just gotta be the untouchable champ.
John Cena pauses for a moment, and looks directly into the camera with intensity and meaning.
So next week, after'ta The Royal Rumble; when I prove to everyone that I am a changed man, I’m comin’ for that UWF Transatlantic Championship and I’m gonna make that belt mean sumthin’! I’m giving you that look Hulkster and you’re gonna remember it ‘cause it’s the last time you’ll ever see it and that UWF Transatlantic Championship around ya waist! And I ain’t doing it to be a jackass, I’m doing it because I missing having that look on me, I hate seeing a championship mean jack to everybody; the fans deserve better from that belt and they deserve better from you!
And don’t think I’m just messing with ‘cha Hulkster ‘cause I ain’t! I’m gunning for you and that UWF Transatlantic Championship, I’m giving ya that look. I’m laying down the challenge Hulk, see ya next Raw, ya feel me?
The fans give a mix bag of jeers and cheers as John Cena does the “U CAN’T C ME,” taunt before walking off.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is set for one fall and it is for the Unification of the European Championship!
Justin Roberts: First, weighing in at 213 pounds.... CHRISTOPHER DANEILS!!!!
Justin Roberts: And his opponent; weighing in at 228 pounds... DANIEL BRYAN!!!
[/COLOR]
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Bryan goes and he locks up with Daniels. The fans boo though when Daniels starts to get the upperhand. Daniels goes and he hits a nice sinking hip toss onto Bryan, Bryan gets together quickly, and he hits a leg sweep. Bryan goes and he locks up a headlock onto Daniels. Daniels goes and he flips Bryan over him. Daniels goes and he kicks the back of Bryan, but Bryan gets up and he kicks his stomach, Daniels kicks back, but Bryan goes and starts hitting masterful combos as the fans cheer “YES” after all the hits. The fans keep cheering like crazy as Bryan goes and he kicks the head of Daniels as he is down and out. Daniels goes as he goes for the cover.
1…
2…
No Daniels kicks out of the move. Daniels gets up quick as he pushes Bryan, Bryan goes and he pushes back, but this leads Daniels to battle back with a chop to the chest. Daniels begins to back Bryan up in the turnbuckle. Daniels goes and he charges at Bryan in the turnbuckle, but Bryan moves out of the way as Daniels hits the turnbuckle square. Daniels goes and he screams as he hits a huge dropkick right onto Daniels. Daniels gets up as he stumbles to the turnbuckle, and Bryan charges at him, but Daniels counters by throwing his legs up in the air. Bryan goes and he backs up as Daniels goes to the top rope, and he goes for a flying hammer drop, but as he lands Bryan catches the arm.
Jim Ross: Bryan is going to hit the YES Lock!
Roddy Piper: Damn it no come on Daniels reverse it.
Daniels though goes and he extends Bryans arm and hits a clothesline on him. Daniels goes and he picks up Bryan and all of a sudden wraps his legs around him, and goes down on the mat hitting a triangle choke. The fans are booing as Bryan is stuck in the hold, and he is waving his hands in the air trying not to tap, Daniels has the move locked up. Bryan goes as he jumps over and he has Daniels in a pinning position.
1…
2…
Daniels gets out the pin, and Bryan rolls out of the ring to recover from being in the hold. Daniels doesn’t waste any time as he goes over the top rope. Daniels bounces off the ropes, and hits a springboard moonsualt onto Bryan on the outside. Daniels goes as he screams on the outside as the fans boo like crazy, Daniels goes and he throws Bryan right into the ring, Daniels goes and he awaits for Bryan to get up. Bryan is up when all of a sudden Daniels hits him with a huge enziguri. Bryan goes limp as Daniels goes, and he hooks the leg going for the cover.
1..
2..
No Bryan kicks out.
Roddy Piper: Damn it I thought Daniels had it!
Jim Ross: Daniel Bryan have been through wars before Roddy, that one move won’t take him out.
Daniels goes, and he picks up Bryan hitting a bodyslam onto him. Daniels goes and he bounces off the ropes, and hits a leg drop right onto Bryan. This is where Daniels goes, and he locks in a head scissors, the fans boo as Bryan is in trouble Bryan goes and he puts his foot on the rope as the fans cheer, but Daniels is still locking in the hold, and the referee separates him, as Daniels goes and he taunts a bit. Bryan is getting up, and Daniels goes and gets him in a fireman carry position Daniels spins around a bit and connects with the Death Valley Driver. Daniels goes and he makes the cover on Daniel Bryan.
1…
2…
No Bryan kicks out of the move.
Jim Ross: That Death Valley Driver could have ended it there!
Daniel Bryan is sitting up as Daniels goes and he kicks the back of Bryan multiple times. The fans boo as Bryan is just getting beaten down. Daniels goes and he backs up and he kicks Bryan right into the head. Bryan is down, and Daniels goes as he picks up Bryan and he brings him into the top turnbuckle position. Daniels then sets Bryan up in the tree of woe position. Daniels goes as he charges at Bryan, but Bryan dodges by sitting up. Daniel Bryan is on the ramp, and he looks all pumped up.
Jim Ross: Daniel Bryan is feeling it.
Roddy Piper: Oh God No!
Bryan turns around as Daniels goes and he looks as Bryan goes and he does a missile dropkick off from the top turnbuckle, the fans cheer like crazy seeing this as Bryan goes and he gets up as Bryan goes and he clothesline Daniels and takes him out. Bryan keeps on going as the flurry continues with more clotheslines. Bryan goes and he backs up as he does “YES” chant as the fans begin to cheer a long with him. Daniels is getting up as Bryan goes for the running knee, but Daniels rolls out of the way. Bryan turns around when all of a sudden Daniels kicks him in the gut and hits the angel wings right onto Bryan. The fans give a mix reaction as Daniels goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3.
No kick out by Daniel Bryan.
Roddy Piper: DAMN IT!!!
Jim Ross: I am surprised Daniel Bryan was able to kick out the move like the Angel wings. Good Gawd what a match.
Daniels goes and he is awaiting for Bryan to get up, he is waiting, and waiting. Daniels goes and he kicks the gut of Daniel Bryan again and he throws him into the turnbuckle, and he slaps him. Daniels goes as he begins to speak at Bryan before he turns around, and sets up on the opposite end. Daniels goes and he charges at Daniel Bryan, but Bryan moves out of the way as he bounces off the turnbuckle, and all of a sudden Bryan hits the running knee onto Daniels, the fans pop really loud as Daniel Bryan goes and he lays on top of Daniels for the pin.
1…
2…
3.
No kick out by Daniels!
Roddy Piper: YES!! YES!! YES!!
Daniel Bryan goes and he looks at the down Daniels and he goes as he starts to get hyped up. Daniel Bryan goes and he goes to the top turnbuckle. Bryan goes and he dives for a diving headbutt. Daniels moves out of the way, as Bryan misses and he is laying there. Daniels goes and he sees Daniel Bryan laying there. Daniels goes near the turnbuckle. Daniels does the double jump and looks to hit the best moonsault ever, however Daniel Bryan rolls out of the way, and Daniels completely misses. Daniels is holding his arm in pain when all of a sudden, Bryan jumps on top of him and he applies the YES lock.
Jim Ross: Daniel Bryan has the YES Lock.
Roddy Piper: Bite his arm Christopher!!!!
Daniels is stuck in the hold as he writing to get to the ropes, but Bryan is writhing it all the way, Daniels is crawling looking like he is inches away of almost getting to those ropes. Looks like he is almost going to grab the bottom of it as he is fingertips away, Bryan keeps applying pressures, and Daniels goes as he taps out to the pain as the bell rings.
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner as a result of a submission and the NEW UNDISPUTED EUROPEAN CHAMPION ..... DANIEL BRYAN!!!!!
Cameras catch up to Tyson Kidd backstage to get his thoughts on tonight and the upcoming Royal Rumble pay-per view where he will take on the UWF World Heavyweight Champion, Shawn Michaels.[/I]
Camera Man
"
Tyson! Tyson! . Word is that you have a bit of a surprise for Shawn Michaels, having to do with the Royal Rumble a little bit on, I have to ask, what's your plan for your match Sunday?"
Tyson Kidd
"
What's my plan? Win. I have the same plan every single week and I always execute, every single time. That's my plan, to beat Shawn Michaels lifeless in the middle of that ring until I am your new UWF World Heavyweight Champion. That was the plan last month too before things went a little bit south. I beat him once and I'll beat him again. But things are bigger than just me beating Shawn Michaels, he's up to something, I know it, I smell something fishy. Isn't it a bit odd that his best friend just so happens to be the referee for our match? And isn't it a bit odd that his best friends wife was the one that ended my match a month ago at Starrcade? This situation is a little odd to say the least. I think somethings up here, and that Shawn Michaels isn't the man that he says he is. That he's a cheat and that he knows he can't beat me one on one. He set this all up. He had Stephanie end the match early. Our GM Randy Orton was just caught in the crossfire with his hands tied. He did what he had too, I'm not mad at our GM but Stephanie and Shawn are up to something for sure, I don't like this."
Camera Man
"
Well...Tyson, Stephanie did want you to be the Champion...I mean she called for the bell when you had the Sharpshooter locked in, making you the winner."
Tyson Kidd
"
No no no, you don't get it, you're like everyone else. You see what they want you to see. What the 'machine' wants you to see. What Stephanie, Triple H, and Shawn all orchestrated, that's what they want you to think. Because I'm a self made man and not something that the UWF created, they don't want me to succeed. Shawn Michaels is their guy and he's been their guy for years and they're all afraid of change. Don't try to tell me that Stephanie and Triple H are on different pages here, they have a family together, they live in the same house, they have children, how do you expect me to believe that they're not working together? Triple H and Shawn have been best friends before I even broke into this business, there's no such thing as being impartial when your best friend is in danger. There's not a doubt in my mind that they're all plotting against me, Shawn knows he can't beat me, so he invested in some back up. I mean come on, look at the big picture here, I get screwed out of the Championship that I've worked my ass of to earn. I get screwed, in my home country I may add, and now I get my rematch at the Royal Rumble, in Shawn's hometown of San Antonio, with his best friend officiating the match. That doesn't seem a bit fishy to you at all? I'm telling you, I'm the victim here, I was the one that got screwed. I should be your World Champion!"
Camera Man
"
You mentioned this 'machine' can you elaborate a bit on this? What exactly does that mean?"
Tyson Kidd
"
What do you think it means? It's exactly what it sounds like. Look at a man like me. Grew up with the most legendary family in wrestling, the Harts. I was trained at a young age to be the best, trained by some of the best in Stu Hart's Dungeon. I went on from there to tear the house down in Stampede Wrestling, making a name for myself. I busted my ass for years, working harder than anyone else to get where I am today. I was always the first one to the gym and the last to leave, training to become the best athlete I could possibly be. Working hard in the ring to perfect my craft so I could call myself the best. I hate calling myself the Best in the World because it gets thrown around so much these days, by guys that don't deserve it all, but there's not a single guy that can do the things that I can do. I'm better than all those guys that call themselves the best. This is all before I even made it to the UWF. So let's fast forward to around seven months ago, I get a contract in the mail, from the 'machine', wanting to sign me to a deal. I immediately sign that bad boy and send it right back to the UWF headquarters. It was official at that moment, Tyson Kidd has signed with the powerhouse of sports entertainment..."
Tyson Kidd
"
I'm not the normal every day guy that walks through that UWF curtain. I'm a man that since day one, people knew exactly who I was. I was a household name before I even walked out there for my first match. That's not what they wanted though. That was made very clear to me at Starrcade. Despite me winning match after match after match. Climbing to the very top, where I belong, all by myself I might add, then I get screwed. Just like that, you need to understand that I only held that Championship in my grasp for just minutes before I had it ripped away from me and I know exactly why now. It's not because I can't beat Shawn Michaels, it's not because a cocky little prick, and it's not because I don't shake hands with all my opponents before and after I kick their asses, it's because the UWF didn't make me and they don't want someone that thinks differently than they do on top."
Camera Man
"
Well if this 'machine' doesn't want you to win at the Royal Rumble, then how are you going to do it, if all the cards are stacked against you?"
Tyson Kidd
"
How am I going to do it? Well, you, along with everyone else, is going to find out exactly how I'm going to do it a little bit later on. I'm a smart man, inside and outside the ring. I did my homework on this one. Shawn thinks that he can get away with having his best friend as our referee? The match might already be set, I may not be able to get rid of Triple H, but I can promise you that Triple H won't dare lay his hands on me or there will be severe consequences for his actions."
Camera Man
"
Well, threatening the boss might not be the best idea there Tyson. Well now that you got all of that off of your chest, on a slightly different note, do you have any Royal Rumble picks? Since you could very well, hold that Championship come Wrestlemania so this match could be important when it comes to your future Tyson."
Tyson Kidd
"
It doesn't really matter to me at this point, I've got my hands full with Shawn Michaels at the Rumble and as far as the Royal Rumble winner goes, he's going to have a hard road in front of him if he has to face off against me. Because if I can beat Shawn at the Rumble, then there's nobody that can beat me come Wrestlemania. Nobody."
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The tron turns on to reveal the one and only Trish Stratus backstage.
The one and only Undisputed Champion of UWF… Trish Stratus:
If you thought for one second I would step out there amongst any of those sweaty guys you are mistaken. But at any length the big question that has been asked for quite a while now is… why are you and Umaga back. Why did you and Umaga decide to come back. Why this time. And I answer that simply… because we felt like it. There comes a time when you succeed and achieve so much that you just don’t care anymore and it all becomes a simple bore. And so to rectify that issue we stepped away from everything and decided it would be in our best interest to wait. And then we caught wind of this Rags to Riches match and saw it pretty much as an extremely easy opportunity to not only get back in the mix of things but to show everyone that we’ve not lost a single step.
Because really… there will always be doubters, always be the ones that try to discredit what we’ve achieved in our short time here in UWF. So since Umaga isn’t in the Royal Rumble we decided that this match would be better. Just to have a little bit of fun, destroy lives in the process and get right back in the middle of the UWF and show that not only have we returned but we are better and stronger than we were before. I mean last week on Raw Bray dominated his triple threat match and started on his little spill until we came out and Umaga just laid him out. He is supposed to be a hot topic in this Rags to Riches match, and Taker is supposed to but I can guarantee you that when all is said and done… the only one that is going to be talked about is my client Umaga.
Because to be quite frank… the UWF has gotten stagnant and boring. People have become scared to break from the norm. To go out to the extreme, to push the envelope, to do things to the extreme. They would rather be the ones that do the bare minimum, be average and complain about not being at the top. We aren’t like that. We’re going in this thing with the pedal to the metal and we aren’t stopping for anybody. We’re shooting straight to the top as fast as we possibly can and when everything is said and done… you’ll soon be looking at the Greatest Manager of all time crowning another client as a new world champion. Now if you excuse me… me and my client need to plan our next move. Maybe you’ll see us later, maybe not. But do be sure to watch the Rumble because for sure we’ll be there and make an impact unlike that… ever seen.
Trish turns and walks away ending the interview as the tron fades to black.
AJ Styles is seen backstage as he goes on and he begins to speak
AJ Styles: Jay is the camera on? Yes... good finally took how many shots before you actually turned the damn thing on. Anyways hell everybody this is AJ Styles the current UWF Hardcore Champion. You see normally you would see me with Jeremy Borash, and I would be cutting my normal interview with JB, but in the wrestling business change needs to happen, and I figured to bring my own camera man named Jay. He follows me around, and documents what I am doing. You see people it may seem awkward and strange to have a man document your life but I brought Jay in for this special time of year. This time of year of Wrestlemania.
I want Jay to be here when ultimately AJ Styles gets the job done, and wins the Royal Rumble, and goes on as he headlines Wrestlemania. I want to be able to look at this footage, and say, damn so this is what it was like. The journey, and the struggle to reach the main event. The top spot of Wresltemania. That is why I have Jay follow me around, it is not too look different, or feel different. No it is to document my success to the glorious mountain top they call the UWF Championship. I see other men just wanting to prove that they are the best, and they just want to show the world they still got it. Well I know this for a fact that AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the UWF, and that none of my skills never left me.
You see you look at me right now I'm not dressed in street clothes. I am not looking fancy before I go out there tonight. Well earlier I was training, and working hard because to be the best you got to stay on top of your game at every moment, and that is why I feel like I have the advantage coming into the Royal Rumble match, and tonight will just be a preview of what I will do Sunday.
As there's a break in the action, things pan away to the Fear Factor set where Eddie and Chavo are seen arguing.
Chavo Guerrero: What gives with you nearly caving my head in last week?
Eddie Guerrero: You shouldn't have snuck up on me, holmes, especially when you know I was wielding a weapon, ese', you know I'm paranoid.
Chavo Guerrero: You laughed about doing it afterward!
Joe Rogan: Guys, guys, if you don't mind...
Chavo Guerrero: Oh....right...sorry, Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan: Right.
Joe Rogan turns away from both of them and looks into the camera.
Joe Rogan: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a special, one night only revival of Fear Factor. Eddie here has claimed to have no fear heading into his Global Championship defense against Kane this Sunday at the Royal Rumble, and the General Manager of Raw, Randy Orton, thought this would be a perfect way to find out if this was true or not.
Chavo Guerrero: You're not going to make him eat bull penis are you?
Joe Rogan: No.
Chavo Guerrero: Horse penis?
Joe Rogan: No.
Chavo Guerrero: Giraffe pe-
Joe Rogan: No, he's not eating anything's penis.
Chavo Guerrero: What about Bigfoot's?
Joe Rogan: On the day I catch that sasquatch, the only person eating any part of him is me, Joe Rogan. What do you think Jack Links is made of?
Chavo Guerrero: Where'd you hear that?
Joe Rogan: Werewolves.
Chavo Guerrero: Werewolves?
Joe Rogan: Yeah, I took some Alpha Brain and went hunting for some werewolves. They gave me some mushrooms and a bit of weed, and they told me that. Was that all the bullet points, Sam?
Joe turns and begins to talk to someone offscreen.
Sam: You forgot the Kale Shakes!
Joe Rogan: Ah, right, Kale Shakes.
Sam: And kettlebells!
Joe Rogan: Right, and the kettle...
Sam: And DMT!
Joe Rogan: WOULD YOU JUST LET ME DO THIS?
Sam: Fine, jerk. I think Carlos Mencia's funnier than you anyway!
He is heard walking away.
Chavo Guerrero: Who were you talking to?
Joe Rogan: Just a stupid cameraman. Anyhoo, you and your uncle come over here for the first challenge.
Joe leads Eddie and Chavo over to a long hallway with what appears to be a metal podium at the end of it, with a box of cereal perched upon it.
Joe Rogan: As you can see, at the end of this hallway is a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Chavo Guerrero: Why Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Joe Rogan: Because it's the taste you can see. Eesh, what's with all the questions? Anyhoo, at the end of this hallway is a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, there's even a bowl and milk and a spoon and all that. The cereal's yours if you can make it to the end of the hallway.
Chavo pushes past him and begins down the hallway.
Chavo Guerrero: What's so hard about...
Chavo is soon blasted with fire from several holes in the walls on both sides of him, something he failed to notice as he begins to flail around violently.
Chavo Guerrero: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Chavo grabs a fire extinguisher off of one of the walls, aims it at himself, and sprays the contents on himself. As the flames disappear, Chavo is breathing heavily in pain as well as relief.
Joe Rogan: See what happens when you don't let people finish?
Chavo looks Joe up and down.
Chavo Guerrero: See what happens when you do?
Joe Rogan: Keep up wisecracks like that and I'll have a cage fighter on you faster than you can say, "Dana White". Anyhoo, as your stupid nephew just showed you, the cereal's yours if you can get past all the fire. And before mister curious can ask, fire is the obstacle because well, that's kind of Kane's thing.
While Joe was trading words with Chavo, Eddie was completing the challenge, as he walks up to them.
Eddie Guerrero: Come on, vato, fire? This is the "Latin Arsonist" you're dealing with, ese', "Latino Heat"!
Joe Rogan: All right, all right, next challenge. Kane is a connoisseur of caskets and putting people in them, as you know, so...
Chavo Guerrero: He has to lay inside the casket? No problem!
Chavo runs over to a casket he sees and leaps into it like someone doing a cannonball splash into a pool but it collapses and he hits the concrete floor hard.
Joe Rogan: Once again, when the adults are finished talking, they'll let you know. You gotta listen. Now, the real casket's over here. You gotta lay inside it with the casket closed for three minutes.....after I fill it up with these ashes.
Eddie lays inside the casket and Joe grabs an urn, twists the top off, and pours the contents onto Eddie. He repeats this a few times, discarding each empty urn, then closes the casket lid once it's full.
Chavo Guerrero: Whose ashes are those?
Joe Rogan: I'm not allowed to tell you that.
After the three minutes elapse, Joe opens the casket lid and Eddie climbs out, looking down and dusting himself off before looking up and addressing Joe.
Eddie Guerrero: I told you, Joe, I told EVERYONE, I have no fear. Not of fire, not of caskets, not of ashes, not of death. What other pathetic challenge do you have for me?
Joe smiles as he grabs a Kane mask and slides it over Chavo's head, allowing the elastic band to snap loudly.
Chavo Guerrero: Wha...what are you doing?
Eddie looks at him blankly for a moment as a twitch in his left eye gradually develops. Eddie's eyes gradually widen until they can't widen further. It's at this time that Eddie raises his trembling arm and points at him.
Eddie Guerrero: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!
Once the blood curdling scream has elapsed, Eddie stares for another moment, twitching one more time, then tackles Chavo to the ground, beating on him.
Chavo Guerrero: Uncle Eddie, it's me! UNCLE EDDIE!
Eddie Guerrero: It's MY Global Championship! MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIINE!
Joe stands there watching them as he palms the bottom a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with his right hand, holding the spoon with his left as he puts it in the bowl, retrieving some cereal, and takes a bite. Joe looks at the camera.
Joe Rogan: You can get that mask on UWF.com and you can catch the Royal Rumble live on pay-per-view this Sunday. For Eddie and Chavo, who fear isn't a factor for but mental illness is, this is Joe Rogan, goodnight.
The camera pans out and then away as Raw rolls on.
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We go backstage where Josh Matthews is standing by
Josh Matthews: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome my guests at this time, Shark Boy, Grado and Paul Burchill
There is a massive cheer from the crowd as C.U.N.T. step into the picture, muscling Josh out of the way.
Shark Boy: That's right, The C.U.N.T. have made it across them choppy seas and landed right here on Tuesday Night Raw, and I gotta say, personally speakin', I like it. See about two years ago Shark Boy came over to the UWF for the first time, management was different, everythin' was different and long story short, Shark Boy was teamin' with William Regal, Shark Boy didn't like teamin' with William Regal and Shark Boy got the boot. So you'd expect a sense of displeasure when Shark Boy stepped back onto to the Red Show. Well I'll tell ya this, Shark Boy don't give two shrimps if the show's Red, Blue, Purple, Yellow or Green 'cos Shark Boy and The C.U.N.T. will whip bass regardless of the damn colour scheme and the damn decor. Now then onto business, tonight, live in front of a sold out, packed arena full of Sharkoholics and C.U.N.T Addicts.
The crowd pop for Shark Boy's pet names for them.
Shark Boy's gon' team up with two of Smackdown's best in AJ Styles and Steve Borden. Now let me get this clear first of all, Shark Boy don't like playin' friends with nobody but Grado and Paul Burchill and he certainly don't like teamin' with a jackass like Steve Borden but tonight ain't about that, tonight's about makin' an impact ahead of the Royal Rumble so Shark Boy's gon' let bygones be bygones... for tonight only. So I hope AJ and Steve don't get too damn comfortable 'cos this is a one night deal, but tonight I've got their backs, I know AJ has our backs but that sumbitch Borden I don't know 'bout. But here's the damn thing, I don't give a damn what Steve Borden or his buddy Matt Bloom do out there tonight because Shark Boy don't mind puttin' the boot to their bass because as far as Shark Boy is concerned a bass is a bass and all basses are up for whippin'.
The crowd can be heard chanting 'Shark Boy!, Shark Boy!' as Shark Boy pauses, he continues on his tirade.
And as far as our opponents are concerned, well I know their a group of so called big shots here on the Red Show. We got a former multi-time World Champion in Dean Ambrose, we got a guy who's been main eventin' in this company since day one, Christian and we got another former World Champ in Damien Sandow. Now, no doubt, they pose a threat. Any guy with the stats behind them that these guys have are gon' always pose a threat, but the fishin' line is this, Shark Boy don't give a damn if you're a former World Champion, a former Tag Team Champion, a former faction leader or a former street kid because Shark Boy don't discriminate when he opens up that can of bass whip and like I said before everybody's bass is up for the whippin'. Shark Boy shows no fear and doesn't give a damn who he has to go through to get what he wants and what Shark Boy wants it to win the Royal Rumble.
The crowd pop for the thought of Shark Boy winning the Rumble.
Tonight I put my name on the list of contenders, I put everybody on notice 'cos tonight ain't gon' be about Smackdown versus Raw, or none of that, tonight ain't even about former champions going face to face for the first time in a long time... nah, tonight's about Shark Boy raisin' shell like only he can and the crowd watchin' on as he proceeds to whip everybody's bass and show them exactly how he plans to win the Royal Rumble and THAT'S THE FISHIN' LINE 'COS SHARK BOY AND THE C.U.N.T. SAID SO!
*The UWF camera switches to a dark room in the bowels of the arena. A single candle flickers, providing the sole source of light. In front of the camera sits a solitary, UWF Steel folding chair. A large shadow passes over the camera, a man is clearly standing behind the camera. A deep voice begins to talk to the fans .......
‘The day draws closer, the hour is near, a day of reckoning, a night of unbridled fear’
The identity of the shadow is revealed to the fans as the towering red figure of Kane looms into view of the camera, settling down onto the folding chair. Kane blankly stares into the camera, those eyes of his remaining emotionless as the steel that he is sitting on. The Devil’s favourite demon passes a finger over the light of the candle, letting the single flame dance over his skin for a brief second. Kane focuses back onto the camera and begins to address the audience in the packed arena
Kane:
This coming Sunday, 2nd February 2014, I will step back into the ring with a man who has in his possession something that is rightfully mine. It is a night where 30 men will do battle in the main event, but the only number that matters to me is 2. Two men, Kane and Eddie Guerrero. I have been waiting for this night ever since Starrcade, when I was ambushed and my property stolen. His name is Eddie Guerrero, and he believes he is the greatest thing to happen to this company in a long time. In my eyes though, he is nothing more than an opportunist and a coward. Representative of the cancer that is slowly killing this brand. A culture of taking the easy way out, of striking when the enemy is at his weakest. This is where I am different to Mr. Guerrero. I do not strike when my enemy is down and out, for what pleasure would I get from that? There is no achievement in crushing a man when he is on his back. No, I need to look a man in the eyes before I am about to destroy him. I need to gaze into his soul, see the fear that lurks within, before I consume it for myself. At the Royal Rumble, I will see for myself the true Eddie Guerrero. The man behind all the bravado, the charisma and the charm. I will strip that back to see the real man who exists beneath his own inflated superficial personality. I know what I will see. An insecure, cowardly man who speaks of everything but delivers nothing. I will look into the eyes of Eddie Guerrero on Sunday, and I will take back what is mine.
The item he has in his possession of course, is the Global Championship. My Global Championship. A Championship that I won and have defended, a title that should be over my shoulder at this very moment. Eddie Guerrero believes that by cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase, by striking when me when I was my weakest, that he has pulled off a tactical coup de grace. And he did beat me, I do not deny it. But in the midst of Eddie’s greatest triumph, came his greatest mistake. You see if Eddie had of just found a way to take my title from me in a regular match, I would still be here, I would still be hunting him, but I would not have half the motivation and desire that currently flows through my veins to make him suffer. Eddie believed that by doing what he did, that he destroyed me. That he broke my spirit. That he humiliated me. He even said himself, he believed Kane to be dead. But instead of killing me, Eddie Guerrero brought me back to life. By cheating me out of my title, Eddie reignited my will to live, my will to fight and my will to destroy. What Eddie thought was destroying me, merely served to make me hungrier to see to it that his Global Championship reign burns down in flames around him and that I reclaim my spot at the top of the pack. Eddie Guerrero, in your quest to achieve fame and success you have unleashed a demon that will stop at nothing, until your poison is cleansed from UWF for good.
And so on Sunday, it will all come full circle. What Eddie Guerrero began with a briefcase and a steel chair, will end in brutal fashion. Steel is cold, and hard, unforgiving and unmerciful, indiscriminate in who feels its wrath, just like the monster who will wield it on Sunday. This chair, what I am sitting on…
Kane gets to his feet in front of the camera, grabbing the steel folding chair he was sitting in and folding it back into its original form. Kane looks at the chair before turning back to the camera
Kane:
Sunday night, Eddie, it ends. And when I have the Global Championship back in my possession, I am putting the rest of the RAW roster on notice. Nobody will be safe, and nobody will be free from the flames. The monster is back, and he is hungrier than ever before. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I intend on paving the Road to Wrestlemania with the broken bodies of my opponents, and it all starts this Sunday at the Royal Rumble
Kane stares blankly at the camera, before leaning forward and blowing out the candle, extinguishing all light from the scene as the camera fades.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is a Smackdown vs RAW 6 Man Tag Team Match, and it is set for one fall!
Justin Roberts: Introducing first, representing RAW, From Palo Alto, California; weighing in at 243 pounds... DAMNIEN SANDOW!!
Justin Roberts: Introducing his parter, representing RAW, from Cincinnati, Ohio; weighing in at 225 pounds... DEAN AMBROSE!!!
Justin Roberts: And introducing their partner, respresenting RAW; from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 227 pounds.... CHRSITIAN!!!!
Justin Roberts: And introducing their opponents. Introducing first, representing Smackdown, from the Deep Blue Sea, weighing in at 212 pounds.... SHARK BOY!!!
Justin Roberts: And introducing his tag team partners. Representing Smackdown, From Venice Beach, California; weighing in at 240 pounds... STEVE BORDEN!!!
Justin Roberts: And introduing their partner, reperesenting Smackdown, from Gainesville Georgia, weighing in aat 239 pounds..... AJ STYLES!!!!
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Vs
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The bell rings and Sandow and Ambrose are arguing about who is going to start the match as Christian takes his spot on the apron. Team Smackdown however chooses Shark Boy almost immediately to begin things and since Sandow and Ambrose can’t make up their minds Shark Boy does it for them. He grabs Sandow who’s back is turned and begins nailing him with his big hands, I mean fins, right into Sandow’s jaw. Sandow is stunned by the barrage as Ambrose wanting no part of helping Sandow takes his place on the apron. Sandow is shot off the ropes and comes back towards the center of the ring where Shark Boy hops onto him with a Lou Thesz and begins driving his fists right into Sandow’s face. Afterwards he throws up and a fin to the delight of the crowd before bouncing off of the ropes and dropping an elbow drop right into Sandow’s face. Shark Boy covers Sandow right then and there.
1…
2…
Christian makes the save for his team by breaking up the cover.
JR: Team Smackdown seeming to be on the top of their game tonight really taking it to the Raw superstars in this preview of Sunday’s Royal Rumble match.
Piper: God damn Shark boy and all of those C.U.N.T.S. on Smackdown.
JR: Relax Roddy they’ve only been a group for a few weeks.
Piper: There is a group on Smackdown called CUNT??
Shark Boy picks up Sandow off of the mat and immediately heads over to his own corner where he tags in the Hardcore Champion AJ Styles. Styles comes in to a nice pop from the crowd and immediately begins working on Sandow driving big right hands into the face of the intellectual savior. Styles sends Sandow sailing off the ropes and looks to hip toss Sandow to the mat, but Sandow blocks it and counters with a hip toss of his own. AJ lands hard giving Sandow enough time to head over to the corner and tag in Dean Ambrose who takes it begrudgingly.
Piper: Finally Raw is about to get themselves some of Smackdown with the 4 time World Champion.
Ambrose comes in and immediately goes to work driving right hands into AJ’s face. AJ takes refuge in the corner but it doesn’t matter, Ambrose will not be denied. He comes towards Ambrose and begins driving his knees into AJ’s gut forcing the phenomenal one to wrench over in pain. Ambrose’s entire body is a weapon and as such he drives his elbow into the back of AJ’s head. Ambrose then pulls AJ back to the center of the ring before sending him shooting off of the ropes before chasing him full speed and driving a huge knee right into the incoming AJ who flips onto his back hard in the center of the ring. Ambrose goes for the cover.
1…
2…
AJ kicks out right after the 2nd hand goes down to avoid the pinfall.
Ambrose just smiles as he knows he is going to get to unleash more pain as he pulls AJ to his feet and nails him with a big European Uppercut. AJ goes falling into the corner of his opponent’s and Ambrose follows up but before he can do anything Sandow tags himself back into the match. The crowd boo as Sandow comes into the ring and Ambrose takes offence and immediately shoves Sandow. The official immediately runs in to separate the two men who are on the same team.
JR: And it looks like Raw is showing signs of cracking here on their own home turf. Not a very good idea if I do say so myself Hot Rod.
Piper: This is what happens when you have such explosive personalities on one team JR.
Christian decides to take matters into his own hands as he tags himself in to the delight of the crowd only to get yelled at by Sandow. Christian is so distracted he doesn’t see the Pele Kick coming as AJ nails him with it. The crowd explodes into cheers as AJ gets up and the Hardcore Champion sets his sights on Christian. Christian gets to his feet and is easily set up and planted with the Styles Clash. The crowd explode as AJ stands up and brushes himself off. Unfortunately he gets to close to his corner and Steve Borden who has been chomping at the bit to get into the ring tags himself in. AJ turns as Borden comes into the ring not happy with the move, AJ gets into Borden’s face and Borden responds by grabbing AJ and tossing him over the top rope.
Piper: Well looks like Team Smackdown has imploded on itself JR!
JR: This is going to get very ugly very quickly Hot Rod.
Ambrose and Sandow are outside of the ring still arguing and the two come to blows. Shark Boy heads over to the side of the ring Ambrose and Sandow are fighting on and leaps off the apron and onto the two Raw superstars at ringside. The crowd applaud Shark Boy’s move though they are booing for in the ring Borden is stalking Christian who is attempting to get to his feet. Christian gets to his feet and Borden smiles as he grabs Christian and plants him to the mat with the Scorpion Death Drop. The crowd boo loudly as Borden goes for the cover.
1…
2…
3…
Here are your Winners: Team Smackdown!
Piper: Son of a bitch! I can’t believe Team Smackdown has won this damn match! I blame Christian, he always freaking chokes in big time matches.
JR: What is even more interesting Hot Rod is the fact it is Steve Borden standing tall in the rin…
Suddenly the music of John Cena hits the PA System and the crowd lets off a mixed reaction the likes of which no one can understand. Out comes the man who looks to win the Royal Rumble John Cena who throws his hat and t-shirt off before storming the ring. Cena slides into the ring and he immediately goes after Borden who is waiting for him. Cena and Steve trade blows in the center of the ring as a sense of Chaos begins to erupt.
JR: John Cena is back folks! He is back with vengeance and he is looking to make a statement here tonight before the Royal Rumble match this Sunday.
Cena and Steve trade blows but with Cena’s age and strength advantage Steve doesn’t stand a chance as Cena knocks him to the ground with a big right hand. Steve is resilient however and manages to get right back to his feet for all the good it has done him, because Cena grabs the “Icon” and lifts him up onto his shoulders before sending him crashing to the mat with a Huge Attitude Adjustment to a mixed reaction. Cena is talking trash to the fallen Borden about he can’t see him that he does not see two figures come sliding into the ring. It’s the UWF Tag Team Champions the Dudley Boys. Cena turns right around into the 3-D to a loud mixed reaction.
JR: Good lord! 3-D! The Tag Team Champions laying their claim to Royal Rumble this Sunday!
The Dudleys are celebrating perhaps a little too long as Shark Boy comes into the ring where he nails Bubba with a kick to the gut grabs his neck then kicks Devon in the gut before driving both men to the mat with a double Chummer! The crowd explodes into cheers at the Leader of the Cunt looks good, until the Hardcore Champion is in the ring. AJ waits for Shark Boy to turn and it is easy for Styles to grab Shark Boy and plant him to the mat with the Styles Clash.
Piper: It’s a Smackdown on Smackdown hate crime JR that’s great!
Sandow steps into the ring next and grabs Styles from behind and drops him to the mat with the You’re Welcome Slam. Sandow looks smug but has no time to enjoy his moment of pleasure as Ambrose is on him. Ambrose avenges his loss for the night by sending Sandow to the mat with the one hitter! The crowd explodes as Ambrose stands overtop everyone, until Daniel Bryan comes out of nowhere! He nails Ambrose with the running knee to a huge pop from the crowd. Bryan stands tall looking around waiting for someone else to attack him but no one comes.
JR: My god, could this be the site at the Royal Rumble?
Piper: I’ll tell you this JR, the UWF loves to give the people what they want!
Daniel Bryan begins a Yes Chant and it is blowing off the roof of the stadium as UWF Raw heads to its finale!
Credits
Promos: Respective TT'ers
Fatal Four Way Transatlantic Title: rawisrey
Tag Team title, European title: Chase
Piecing show together: Nate
6 Man Tag, making sure Nate doesn't fuck up RAW: SBS
heh I always liked heels. That was rather interesting though.
Andy Levine can go fuck himself!
@ Rogan/Guerrero segment. 
