Suddenly, the arena goes a dark shade of blue and Mankind's eerie music plays as the demented one skulks out from the back. The crowd gives him a mixed welcome remembering his valiant effort at KING OF THE RING where he was one count away SO many times from being the KING of RAW! But Mankind doesn't look happy at all. And neither does Paul Bearer who follows him up carrying the GOLDEN URN with a bitter scowl on his twisted face.
Mankind moves down the ramp like a man worried someone may jump out of the crowd and attack him; darting his head back and forth, covering all directions, just in case. The hunched over mess of a man stops halfway up the ring steps and looks over the crowd as they cheer a little for him. He smiles a broken smile as we hear the shrill voice of Paul Bearer break through the noise.
Paul Bearer: DON'T look at them, Mankind! You do NOT deserve their praise! Get in the ring! Get in the ring now!!
Mankind ducks like Bearer took a swing at him and obeys. He climbs into the ring and drags himself to the opposite corner and huddles there; rocking and muttering to himself. Finally, the camera zeros in on the distraught face of Mankind and we can hear him ranting.
I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I'm a failure...
As his music stops, the lights come up and Mankind begins to look from shelter from the lights and cameras. We see Paul Bearer in the opposite corner just standing there holding the urn with a judgmental look on his pudgy face. There's a microphone laying in the middle of the ring. As Bearer and Mankind's eyes meet, Mankind turns away, at first. After a few tries, he finally looks over at the microphone and Paul. Paul Bearer nods telling Mankind what's expected of him. He drags himself over to the microphone and holds it close to him like a child.
I'm sorry. I really screwed up!
The crowd boos disagreeing with his assessment of things as Mankind shrinks in embarrassment.
No. I did. DESTINY demanded I be the KING OF RAW and I failed her. Much like my first date with Suzie Blanchard back at the Prom. But that's another story. The truth is I apparently underestimated the power of little Johnny Morrison's immaculately bouncy hair! Damn Slomo Jomo! I guess there's more to him than that gigantic head and his rockstar good looks after all!
The crowd both laughs and boos a little.
But that's history. There's no goin' back. There's no second chances at being the KING OF THE RING 2012! Oh, no. No matter how much I wanna take it all back...what's done is done. Johnny Morrison is the King, although I have no idea where they will get a crown that big.
Mankind smiles at his own joke in his twisted kind of way. The crowd reacts with a few cheers. Suddenly, Mankind gets sight of an angry Paul Bearer and straightens up.
No, this isn't about the KING anymore. This is about Scott Stiener. What a transition, right? We go from young and good looking to someone more my age and, well, as much of a mangled mess as I am. I mean, I'm not going to pull out all the same tired jokes here people. Cause I could talk all day about his monstrous arms and his history with steriod usage. Yeah, I could mention that, but I won't. Yeah, I could have a field day with his monologues that come off sounding like Dr. Suess on crack. But, yeah, I won't mention that either. And I'm not even gonna start to decifer what BIG BOOTY DADDY actually means, because I believe a man's sexual preferences are his own business.
The crowd begins to cheer a little again at Steiner's expense.
HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!
After blurting Steiner's trademark phrase he turns his head and pulls his head back to expose his mangled ear.
Cause with my ear all messed up like this, I can never really tell if I'm talking loud enough.
The crowd gives him a minor reaction.
But I'm not goin' that route tonight, people! No, this isn't some stand up comedy routine. I hope the fan who caught Mr. Socko at King of the Ring enjoys and takes care of him. CAUSE IT'S THE LAST DAMN SOCK YOU'RE EVER GONNA SEE!! AND I MAY HAVE FAILED DESTINY ONCE, BUT, IF YOU'LL JUST GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE, BABY, I'LL MOVE HEAVEN AND HELL TO MAKE YOU PROUD!!!
Mankind slumps over in the ring and almost looks like he's crying as the moment is interupted...
