As I look around, all I see are a bunch of Smarks, and it comforts me because that's what I am(no references to the WWE Film intended). I have taken both the day and time into account, and even though it isn't Tuesday, the June 26th edition of Raw is in the books and posted for all to see, so it is time for me to feed your fix.
I am a bit perplexed that the Blue Version: Heatwave hasn't gotten that much love. I guess that's some of you's way of saying I took too long. Maybe you thought I was slacking off my summarizing my thoughts with Notable Spots. Maybe it's because I was openly vocal about my unhappiness.
Whatever the reason, the Green Version got much more love. Huge thanks to those that did show Blue Version: Heatwave love, Blastoise actually got praise for vandalizing my banner, that egomaniac. I guess I'll cut him some slack though since he's been verbally fired upon by one of Smackdown's commentators and seems to think he's on the cusp of a feud.
My apologies for being among those that didn't put everything I had into my Raw match this week, I feel I have again failed Cwalker and UWF as a whole. I'm the champion and couldn't find time to get a second TT in on time, after Austin clamored for a real match with true competition. I'm lucky I haven't been stripped of the belt.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest and out to the masses, let's bring the heat! Unfortunately, no that doesn't mean I am going to bust out my Eddie Guerrero, but who I am going to throw things to brings the heat just as well. Proudly representing Raw and the Red Version every single week, Charizard!
Charizard: Yes, after a week off, I am back, and no one on Raw is complaining about my status as the show's review's mascot, so take that Blastoise! Tonight's going to be a great show, so let's get straight to it. But first...
Charizard: Much better than Blastoise's and yours, Dresden. In fact, I think I'm going to review the whole show this week.
You can't do that, I gave you this spot and I can...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOT! HOT! HOT!
Charizard: Too bad he only plays a doctor, because right now he's gonna need one. So now that he's out of the way, I'm the dragon that loves wrasslin' and this is what I'm providing to suit all your wrestling, and Pokemon, needs. The Charizard Dose!
I just had to see it again. In the enlightening words of Damien Sandow, you're welcome.
Umm, let's see, I haven't paid much attention to how Dresden does it. Raw opens with this guy I remember calling Goldust a smurf and some dude with a mustache. Is he a relative of Mario's? I think he's a relative of Mario's. Anyway these guys talk about what an awesome show Raw's going to be tonight and then Damon Wayans comes out. I love that guy, thought he was a lot taller though, and the glasses have him really showing his age.
Damon says that Raw's a Supershow every week, so phooey on Heatwave. I agree, and you guys seem to as well since the review of it hasn't been read or commented on that much. Damon goes on ta' tell us that Stone Cold is gonna defend his championship against Ken Anderson at the Great American Bash. Sweet, I like that Anderson guy, he's got a nice head.
The last thing Damon reveals is there will be a Raw tag team against a Smackdown tag team at the Great American Bash to crown the very first UWF Tag Team Champions, and there will be a tag team match next week to determine which team it's gonna be representin' Raw.
Damon Wayans would be more entertaining in the role of general manager if he was Homey the Clown, that way if anyone disagrees with any of the decisions he makes, he can just hit them with his sock full of quarters.
Man, this is harder than I thought. Anyway, Damon tells everyone to enjoy the show, BUT WAIT, heel alert![/COLOR]
Alright, Charizard, clearly you can't handle this, so I'm going to take my article back. And if you've got a problem with that, you can take it up with the water hose. So while Teddy Long is trying to leave the ring, he is interrupted by Christian, who sarcastically congratulates him on making such great matches, and reprimands him for not giving him what he deserves, a title match.
Teddy agrees that if Christian is able to beat Steve Austin tonight, he will be placed into the UWF Championship match at the Great American Bash. Since I have never beaten Aniking in a match that involved him, me, and a title, I'm still kicking myself for not finding the time to even up the trash talking. Is it possible this still would've happened if I did? Yes, but it wouldn't be the guarantee it turned out to be. Aniking's reward is my punishment, and now I'm going to have to fight like hell to keep my title.
COMMERCIAL ONE
Raw's first commercial of the night is promotion of the red brand's official Diva, AJ Lee. I don't know about you guys, but I'm already sick of this love triangle storyline. There doesn't seem to be a payoff for it, which makes it all pointless. Maybe the payoff is, SPOILER ALERT, coming at Money in the Bank when she special referees the WWE Championship match between C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan.
RETURN FROM COMMERCIAL: BULLY RAY PROMO
I'm excited that Bully Ray has found his way back to UWF, as I'm a fan of the character, and now that I know who's playing him I know we're in for a special treat. Wade Barrett will be missed on Raw, but I understand why Lewb would want to give a new character a try. I hope we cross paths at some point so I can say that there are three characters of his I have gotten a win against.
I like the way this promo is structured, and the material in it is great, running down Canada in a classic heel move and explaining the no-showing on Smackdown by revealing he wasn't happy being part of the brand. He states that now that he's on Raw, he's not going anywhere, and tonight he's going to prove why they call him "The Bully".
Speaking of promos, I'm going to tweak the structure of the Dose a little bit. Starting with the July 6th Smackdown, I'm going to begin handing out awards for Promo of the Week and Match of the Week. These awards will be exclusive to the Blue Version because Friday is the end of the UWF week and it makes the most sense to hand them out then. As for Raw, well, in one of the recent Doses, a question was posed. That question was, is there anyone I can't trash talk as?
Well, we're going to test that. Starting with the July 3rd edition of Raw, I am going to trash talk as a character chosen by you, the readers. Suggestions included in your comments on this review please. This will be exclusive to the Red Version, and continue until I find someone I can't efficiently trash talk as. Also, when I posted Ultimate Warrior vs. Eddie Guerrero in an Empty Arena match in a recent Dose, that gave me an idea. In another Red Version exclusive, every week I will feature one of the matches I've written in my career.
So the Red Version will have an exclusive related to matches and an exclusive related to promos, and the Blue Version will have an exclusive related to matches and an exclusive related to promos, everybody wins.
WILLIAM REGAL VS. MATT MORGAN FOR THE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
This match was a great choice to be the opener, there's excitement surrounding it because of the belt no longer being defunct and the possibility of Morgan winning a championship in his very first match in UWF. That's not to sell Regal short, he's a contributor to the anticipation of this contest as well.
I love the psychology in this contest, one minute you think Morgan's going to dominate by utilizing his raw power, but the very next Regal turns the momentum around and leads you to believe he's going to win with his technical skills. Regal very early on targets a body part and attacks it time and time again all throughout the match, which is part of the technical strategy that leads you to believe he's going to win.
But the pain doesn't hinder the Blueprint as much as Regal was hoping it would, as the big man goes for a chokeslam, but after striking his target again, Regal is able to take Matt back down, regaining control.
When William decides that it's time to get extreme, the momentum shifts again, with Morgan punching a steel chair into his opponent's face, but as Matt goes to decapitate the Blackpool native, his injury is again his downfall as William strikes using the steel chair, bringing the Blueprint down once more.
After this proves insufficient, Regal relies on the Brass Knuckles, but his momentum is stopped dead by a quickly executed chokeslam. Regal kicks out, and Morgan keeps himself in the driver's seat as he connects with the Hellevator(thanks for busting this out), but the pin attempt that follows is also unsuccessful. Finally, a Carbon Footprint, successful this time, does the trick and the match is over.
Your winner and new Hardcore Champion, "The Blueprint" Matt Morgan. Again, the psychology in this immersed me in it effortlessly. For most of the match, Regal was in control, but once Matt got possession of the momentum, it was impossible for his opponent to reverse it, and as a result the big man has won a championship in his very first UWF match. That's an impressive feat, and it was done in entertaining fashion. Congratulations to Doink for being part of this quality match, Cwalker for writing it, and The Red for winning it.
BACKSTAGE PROMO: AUSTIN ARIES
It's official, Austin Aries is back baby, and I'm happy to see it even though he's technically a rival of mine. Over the course of the interview, Aries covers his feelings on returning at Starrcade, his thoughts on William Regal talking trash about him(managing to diss the Hardcore Championship match we just saw), Randy Orton and the NWO, and lastly his guaranteed rematch against Stone Cold.
Aries is clearly a bit agitated regarding the interview, but is still a professional about it. He's very direct with how he answers his questions, and shows diverse levels of passion depending on what the subject matter being covered is. For example, when asked about his return, you can tell coming back meant a lot to him, explaining it as a feeling you forget more and more the longer you're away. That's passion for what he does, but when the topic changes to Orton and his faction, a different kind of passion seeps through.
And that passion is the desire for revenge, Aries is committed to annihilating the New World Order, namely Randy Orton, and won't rest until he does. So committed that he has his championship rematch with Stone Cold on the backburner, the last thing on his mind. So, depending on who's champion when that happens, the future could see a Stone Cold and Aries rematch, Mr. Anderson versus Austin Aries, or a feud that sees Aries move from one NWO member to the next by taking on Christian.
Aries ends the interview by telling Josh he has to get ready for his match against Antonio Cesaro. I like that this promo was a moderate length and still covered so much ground, that's a big reason why I liked it. That and I'm a fan of Chriss' portrayal of Aries. Speaking from personal experience, he's a thrill to work with and one of the best trash talkers in UWF.
KEN ANDERSON VS. RANDY ORTON
The number one contender to the UWF Championship takes on the man that put his hands on the UWF Champion at Backlash and got away with it. Consider that along with the fact that these two men, at least at one point, had real life animosity, and you've got a lot of excitement surrounding this match as well.
Anderson takes control of this match early on, and as I read it, I find myself wondering just how long he will remain in control.
It doesn't last long, as Orton catches Ken in mid-air, taking over the momentum. Orton remains in the driver's seat for a bit longer than Anderson was at the beginning of the match, but after surpassing the time, the ball returns to Ken's court as the number one contender ducks a clothesline and back body drops Randy to the mat.
Ken stays in control of things, managing a few pin attempts, but when he goes for the Mic Check, that's when the control returns to Randy, who cuts off the Mic Check attempt with a few well placed elbows. Anderson tries to reassume dominance, but a powerslam, which Cole attempts to call wrong, makes sure that doesn't happen.
Randy goes for the RKO, but Anderson has the wherewithall to reverse it into the Mic Check, but before he can execute it, Randy reverses into the RKO and is successful this time, and that's all she wrote.
Your winner, Randy Orton. This was another well fought contest, as Anderson was in control of things on three seperate occasions, although the third time was briefly as he reversed the RKO into the Mic Check, and Randy was in control on three occasions as well, though his third time was brief also as it was nothing more than the Mic Check reversal that lead to his victory. The New World Order continues to ravage through the competition, still existing without having been truly opposed.
COMMERCIAL TWO
Raw's second commercial of the night is for the Great American Bash, coming to us three weeks from Sunday. Backlash was amazing and Starrcade was ten times better, so that along with the matches that've already been announced has me completely stoked for this upcoming pay-per-view event. I am super determined to retain my belt too.
IN-RING PROMO: RIC FLAIR AND DOLPH ZIGGLER
Flair points out that no one was expecting to see him tonight, and explains that since he retired, he's been on the look-out for the next top guy in the business, someone worthy of replacing him. But all the wrestlers he saw made him sick, just as the fans do, as Flair goes on to point out.
Ric announces that after years of searching, he finally found a suitable replacement, and that man is Dolph Ziggler. Flair brings Ziggler out, and now it's Dolph's turn to talk. Dolph says he was skeptical to join Flair in UWF at first because of what the fans might think, then decided he didn't care what they thought and took the "Nature Boy" up on his offer.
Ziggler announces he will be on Raw next week and issues an open challenge, saying he will be waiting to see who it is that steps up and accepts. This was a good way to introduce the tandem of Ric Flair and Dolph Ziggler. The explanation for Ric taking Dolph under his wing was good, and Ziggler's reason for accepting the offer is a classic heel reason, but it'll do.
I know who accepts the challenge, as does everyone that's seen the card for the July third edition of Raw, but I won't talk about it until I get to that part of the article. Again, this was a nice promo, and it's nice to see something like this suggested pair materialize in e-feds, it's certainly a welcome addition to Tuesday nights.
THE ROCK VS. WADE BARRETT
I'm going to be brief with my thoughts on this contest because of my desperation to get this edition of the Dose finished and out to you guys. As I made note of earlier, Lewb has switched characters, meaning this stellar contest is the last you'll see of Wade Barrett. Well, his Wade Barrett anyway, I'm sure the character will get picked up again at some point. And honestly, though doing so in defeat, this match isn't a bad way to go out if you're Wade Barrett, nor is it a bad way to come in if you're Bully Ray, who is the storyline reason for the UWF departure of the former former UWF Champion.
COMMERCIAL THREE
Raw's third commercial of the night is for WWE's next pay-per-view event, Money in the Bank. This year's event is going to be an interesting one, since several of the stars are entering their first Money in the Bank match, such as Cena on Raw and Tensai on Smackdown. Can't wait to see what happens, although I think the finish for the Raw one can be seen from a mile away.
IN-RING PROMO: MONTEL VONTAVIOUS PORTER
Montel makes an error in this promo at the very beginning by referring to himself as the most valuable player of the CWA, which, as we all know, is not the company we're competing in. This promo introduces someone named Mickey to the fold, which is intriguing as I've never known MVP to be associated on-screen or offscreen in wrestling with a Mickey. It's certainly an interesting turn of events and will be something worth following, whether the payoff is extremely grand or simple.
BACKSTAGE AND IN-RING PROMO: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
I appreciate the fact that I'm able to cut lengthy promos and Cwalker puts the whole thing into the show, so not only am I able to let loose on length when I'm feeling the material, he lets me push the envelope. This week, Austin went off on Smackdown and their contributions to Starrcade and got into it with Jerry Lawler, two things I thought I would get in trouble for. The promo wasn't mentioned positively or negatively, so it appears I stayed out of trouble, but my work has gone unnoticed also.
COMMERCIAL FOUR
Raw's fourth commercial of the night is for TNA's next pay-per-view event, Destination X. This is significant because of Austin Aries getting his first shot at the top tier title, Robert Roode's TNA World Heavyweight Championship. There are other matches too, I just haven't read up on the event enough to know them.
AUSTIN ARIES VS. ANTONIO CESARO
Yes, gentlemen, both members of the European Revolution get taken out on the same show, in similar fashion too. The same thing can be said here that was said in regards to The Rock versus Wade Barrett though, it's not a bad way to go out if you're Antonio Cesaro, and the victory is a positive thing for Aries as it gives him momentum for his war against the NWO.
COMMERCIAL FIVE
Raw's fifth commercial of the night is for this very article, The Dresden Dose. Nice picture of Charizard, if you'll notice I used it earlier. Thank you for another plug, even though Raw came early on a Monday and here it is Friday morning and I still haven't finished this thing.
IN-RING PROMO: CODY RHODES, ROBERT ROODE, AND MVP
The war of words between Cody Rhodes and Robert Roode continues, this time with MVP unexpectedly interjecting. I'm not sure if Rhodes versus Roode or MVP versus Roode will have the trigger pulled on it first, but considering Roode and Rhodes haven't gotten physical, I think it's safe to assume it'll be Roode and MVP.
COMMERCIAL SIX
Raw's sixth commercial of the night is Cwalker expressing regret over the length of the UWF Championship match at Starrcade, expressing that he hopes the next two matches make up for it. C, you have nothing to be sorry about and you don't have to "make up" for anything, we should be looking to make up something to you instead, that being dragging our feet on the trash talking, something I myself am also guilty of.
CODY RHODES VS. C.M. PUNK FOR THE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
I think it's cool that Dom has mixed things up for his portrayal of Punk, choosing to use "Miseria Cantare" but dressing like a more current version of the Straight Edge superstar. It's always sweet to have a championship match on one of the weekly shows, and this one didn't disappoint. Cody retains his title cleanly, but many would argue that C.M. Punk was
that close to winning it.
COMMERCIAL SEVEN
Raw's seventh commercial of the night is for their competition, Smackdown. By the time I get this edition done, it'll be time to start on the review for Smackdown. The things I do for you guys...
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN VS. CHRISTIAN
I loved this match, even though the outcome means I have to do battle with one of the best to try and keep my championship at the next pay-per-view. I did say I welcome and accept all challengers though, and Aniking is a challenger, so once again I invite you to bring it as you have brought it thus far.
OVERALL THOUGHTS
When Teddy Long came out at the beginning of the show and proclaimed that Raw is a supershow every week, he was telling the truth. I've been saying for awhile now that Raw is like having weekly pay-per-views, due to the time put into it and the quality of the finished product. I paid more attention to the matches than I usually do, because I was just feeling it, and I enjoyed each one just as I did the promos. I am proud to review this show each week and be the brand's top tier champion, regardless of how much longer that may last.
But wait, there's more...
TUESDAY NIGHT RAW JUNE 3RD CARD
WHO'S GOING TO THE BASH? THE ENGLISH TIDE VS. EVAN AND GABRIEL
This week, Sam dropped Antonio Cesaro in favor of returning to an old character of his, Shark Boy. In his first match, Sharky will team up with the man that was unsuccessful in capturing the Hardcore Championship, William Regal to take on the debuting team of Evan Bourne and Justing Gabriel to determine which duo will advance to the Great American Bash to compete for the UWF Tag Team Championships against the team representing Smackdown.
This match intrigues me because, as I've noted, picking Shark Boy up again is a return to form for Sam, and if he's playing him the way he has before, Raw's going to get a lot more interesting because now there are two personalities that act like Stone Cold Steve Austin, the man himself and Sharky. It's also interesting because Shark Boy and William Regal are each played by different people, but Bourne and Gabriel are both played by one person.
He has his work cut out for him, but if The Red can win the Hardcore Championship in his debut match, Pete can singlehandedly win the right to compete for the UWF Tag Team Championships. Right now the trash talk count is 2 to 2.
EDDIE GUERRERO VS. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
I'm excited about this match, because I enjoy PegasusKidFan's portrayal of Eddie Guerrero and I'm looking forward to seeing how Rated R Superstar plays Christopher Daniels. Both men are debuting, so both have a lot to gain from a victory in this contest, I'm curious to see who wins it. Right now there is no thread.
THE ROCK VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER
This past week on Raw, Dolph Ziggler debuted and issued an open challenge to anyone that felt man enough to step up for a match that would occur this week. The man to step up the plate is none other than The Rock, who has been on a roll since coming in. The Wrestling Addict against Hoov should be a good one, I'm curious to see who ends up having the edge, because the dynamic of Ziggler and Flair has never been touched, so their may be more to draw from there. Right now the trash talk count is 2 to 1, in favor of The Wrestling Addict.
U.S. TITLE CONTENDERSHIP: C.M. PUNK VS. MATT MORGAN
I've already informed you of this, but it bears repeating, I am so glad to have Dom back in the mix. Last week he came close to winning the United States Championship but was unsuccessful, however, as evidenced by real life accomplishment, what Punk can do once he can do twice, and this time it's win the contendership. Morgan on the other hand isn't satisfied with holding just one belt, he wants to be the first superstar in UWF to hold more than one simultaneously.
It would certainly be an impressive feat, especially if he beat Dom to advance to the Great American Bash and do it. Even if Matt lost to Rhodes, it would still be an impressive attempt. Right now the trash talk count is 1 to 0, in favor of Dom.
ROBERT ROODE VS. MR. ANDERSON
Killz and EoR have produced trash talking magic against each other in the past, so I have no doubt that this contest will be anything short of extraordinary. Killz has returned to an old favorite with Mr. Anderson and EoR's trying something new with Roode, a role he's excelling in, so that makes it interesting. Also, it's the number one contender to the UWF Championship taking on the NWA World Heavyweight Champion, which is cool even if the NWA title isn't a sanctioned belt in UWF. So far the trash talk count is 1 to 0, in favor of EoR.
CHRISTIAN AND RANDY ORTON VS. STONE COLD AND AUSTIN ARIES
It's me and Chriss again, baby, except this time we must put our differences aside to face a common enemy. Certainly not a tag team I foresaw myself being in, but I'm not objecting, it'll be fun to work with Chriss again and see what kind of a threat we pose to the New World Order when we work together. So far the trash talk count is 2 to 2.
PROMOS
CODY RHODES
Arguably the voice of the NWO, Cody Rhodes will have something to say again this week, just as he does every week.
MONTEL VONTAVIOUS PORTER
The highest paid superstar on Raw will be allowed to speak his mind.
AUSTIN ARIES
The "Greatest Man That Ever Lived" has been granted the opportunity to verbalize himself. With his mission to destroy the New World Order clear, one can only wonder what he'll have to say to the Viper and his faction of misfits.
RANDY ORTON
The Viper and leader of the NWO will be given the chance to make his voice heard. What will Randy have to say?
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
The very vocal Rattlesnake will be given the chance to let loose on the microphone again, and when he does, one can only hope no UWF officials get harmed this time.
Well folks, that's going to do it for this week. Thank you for being so patient with me, it seems with every week the wait gets longer and longer because I keep getting busier and busier, but you guys make it all worth it. I will see you again whenever I get the time to write the next edition of the Blue Version. Until then, the doctor is out!
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