Entry #258
Tarzan Goto/Mr. Gannosuke vs. Keisuke Yamada/Shoji Nakamaki
Bath House Deathmatch
IWA Japan - August 21, 1995
Yep, they did another one. This time not featuring the Headhunters, but instead another deathmatch guy and the future Black Buffalo of the Osaka Pro crew. Will it distinguish itself from the original? Let's find out.
Nakamaki and Gannosuke are first in the tubs. They actualy do a bit of mat wrestling, shockingly. There's a struggle for control of the arm, then Goto slaps on a Fujiwara armbar. Nakamaki, apparently not knowing the rules, tries to go out to break it up. Yellow card? Red card? No idea. Yamada tries to out-mat Goto, who pulls off La Magistral for what apparently is a three-count. What even are the rules in this match? It's unclear. Actually, I tried looking it up, and apparently the win condition (if it's not your partner leaving the tub) involves getting a three count, then you're eligible to go into the women's bath and try to drown your opponent. So, in that first match, Goto got a three on Headhunter A and the camera missed it. Good to know.
And of course that means we enter the women's bath, and that means more naked ladies. They run around in panic as the world's most slippery walk-and-brawl takes place and Goto tries to submerge Yamada's face in the tub. Meanwhile in the men's bath, time to turn up the heat. They're on the mat again, and Goto's tossing weaved baskets at Yamada, who's selling them like they're cinderblocks. Then Goto whips him with.... something? We cut to the tubs, and when we're back, Yamada has grabbed that something. Hot tag to Nakamaki and Gannosuke. Nakamaki does a slippery DDT for two. Back suplex by Gannosuke gets another three, and now it's time to visit the women's bath again! More screaming!
Nakamaki manages to toss Gannosuke into the tub, then herds a stampede of nude ladies who are running from the fight. Now they're outside of the bath house! They're walk-and-brawling, and Nakamaki slowly rams Gannosuke into things. Back at the bath house, MORE HEAT! Goto and Yamada start splashing each other like children. Yellow cards are shown, and that means team Yamada/Nakamaki has had two Public Warnings already. The other two have brawled back to the mat, where Goto runs out for no reason other than to spit and gets a yellow. Nakamaki puts on an STF, then Gannosuke gets a hammerlock.
Walk-and-brawl to the men's tub, where Nakamaki is tossed into Goto's tub, and Goto starts trying to drown him. Apparently that's a tag. Goto pours some water over himself. The naked women from the women's bath are watching over the partition. Yamada is straight up not having a good time. A slippery small package by Goto gets him another pin, and that's the cue for naked ladies to make a run for it. There's more bare breasts between these two matches than you'll ever see in the entire rest of wrestling. Meanwhile in the furnace, MORE HEAT. EVEN MORE WOOD. Yamada leaves his tub and gets a third yellow, but it doesn't work and he gets attacked by Goto. There's a bit of double teaming in the women's bath. Yamada falls on his ass.
Tag to Gannosuke, and I guess Yamada's legal now. The yellow-vested ring announcer gets shoved in the tub! Everyone's fighting in the tub! One of the ring girls (distinguished from the bathgoers by wearing any clothes at all) blows a whistle for some reason. Back on the mat, Gannosuke hits Yamada with a piledriver for a pin, so we return to harassing naked ladies! One of them is just staying no matter what! PILEDRIVER IN THE TUB! They start tossing buckets at each other! Then back, tag to Goto. Time for more heat... they literally can't fit any more wood in! Nakamaki and Gannosuke are straight up not having a good time right now. They splash the ring girl.
Apparently there was another three-count and the camera missed it, because we're back to the women's bath! Goto's courteous enough to shampoo Yamada down before trying to submerge him. That one woman is still there. Gannosuke takes a third yellow to toss the announcer in the tub again and run out. Goto's applying a Boston crab and Gannosuke adds to it with a chinlock. Nakamaki's dying in here. Goto tags out to Gannosuke again, who hits a vertical suplex for two. Yamada comes out of nowhere with an enzuigiri, then climbs some steps to attempt a diving headbutt, but Goto dodges. Sliding hot tag to Goto! Nakamaki's too dead to tag.
Goto uses the move that isn't yet known as the Styles Clash. Then again, but with Yamada's face on a bucket to get another fall. Goto whacks Yamada with the wooden stairs before returning again to the women's bath. Nakamaki and Gannosuke are feeling the heat so badly, they even add FIRE in post to show how hot it is! That's how you know! Finally, Yamada is out enough to be submerged for a count of five, and that's the match. Gannosuke is desperately trying to cool down. Nakamaki is slumped over the edge of the tub. Goto is the winner, and he and Gannosuke celebrate by shoving their opponents' faces into the bodies of unwilling bathgoers. They go out, are attacked by the Headhunters, and then walk away with the ring girls.
....I just watched a cinematic match, didn't I?
Anyway, this is going straight to the top of the list and most likely never being beaten. It actually uses the ridiculous stip properly, gives some actually interesting (though very much not serious) spots, and manages to be so stupid it's AMAZING. Definitely still in the bad matches thread, but this is the epitome of fun bad. Sadly it's not as available as the Headhunters one, but you have to see it.
