Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

[Grimoire Lenin]

Ian Rotten is a total scumfuck and he deserves every horrible thing that can happen to you.

And all of this is primarily why I despise death match wrestling. It's gruesome, ugly, and has almost no actual work put into it. It's just people hitting each other with shit and maiming each other for the sake of it. The people who watch this shit and genuinely like it and consider it good wrestling, all I can say is, "What the absolute fuck is wrong with you, you sadistic fucks?"

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #211
Yoshiko (c) vs. Act Yasukawa
for the World of Stardom Championship
Stardom Queen's Shout - February 22, 2015​

In Japan, this is known simply as the "Ghastly Match". No qualifiers, just that. I know exactly what happens in this match... but I came for the worst, and I'm going to get the worst, no matter how traumatising it is. Just got to get through a few more matches, and I can go back to reviewing things like the 2015 IC Title Elimination Chamber. I can go back to having fun again. So anyway, this is a defence of Stardom's top title in 2015. There's heat between the two. Something bad happens. I can't do this. But I have to.

This is probably a bad time to bring up Hokuto vs. Kandori, but I get a similar vibe. Act being the flamboyant star and Yoshiko being the serious fighter. There's a little pre-match angle where there's a contract signing, Act's crew attacks Yoshiko and tries to put her through a table. During the introductions, they're just staring each other down. Cold, unfeeling. Yoshiko even completely no-sells her Babyface Streamers.

The bell rings, and they refuse to take their gaze off each other. One disturbing minute of staredowns later, they start shooting. Like, right away, those shots are immediately to the face. Yoshiko brings Act down, seemingly trying to yank her hair out of her scalp and applying punches directly to her forehead. When the referee breaks it, Act already has a broken nose. The match is broken up so Act's corner team can check on her. Kyoko Kimura's on hand, giving her water. The blood's streaming down her face. Yoshiko has her fists streaked with red, completely remorseless. Ref just warns Yoshiko not to do that in future, as if this was a completely normal match.

Act does eventually get back up, but Yoshiko is right into it. Legit strikes raining down as she downs Act again, with a kick to the face for good measure. But she refuses to back down. Yoshiko topples a visibly groggy Act again and tries to go for a pinfall but Act makes a rope break at one. For the next few seconds, the match starts to resemble an actual wrestling match, with Irish whips and shoulderblocks. Except the shoulderblocks consist of Yoshiko just shoving Act away. There's even a hair toss. Yoshiko seems to be concentrating all her offence on Act's head, and stiffing, but at least it's actual moves? I don't know, I'm just trying anything I can to power through. Act Yasukawa, streaked in blood, barely able to stand, is still standing up to the woman who's legit tried to break her head open all match.

Yoshiko takes her to ground again, and the thudding closed fists to her head resume. Yoshiko goes for a neck crank too. Act's fucking choking on her own blood now. God. She goes to the outside, where she's attended to by her stablemates. Not actual doctors, you'll notice. Ref has to go out and check on her, too. And against the ref's advice, and the advice of everyone around her, Act just tries to go back in. Kyoko Kimura, on the outside, throws in a towel, and the ref decides to call this match as a no contest. Act is being escorted out of the ring, refusing to give up, screaming even as she can barely breathe, while in the ring, staff are trying to separate Kimura from Yoshiko as this shit is just beyond the pale.

Post-match, Yoshiko would be stripped of the title and fired. Nanae Takahashi, the delightful individual who was allegedly leading the "fuck Act Yasukawa" charge in the company, would leave too, only to start her own promotion, the silly-named SEAdLINNNG, where she could push Yoshiko as much as she wanted. Both women would eventually return to Stardom in 2020, with Yoshiko getting a one-off match while Takahashi checks notes was a champion as recently as April 2023. And was even protected in dropping the belts. Meanwhile Act Yasukawa had to legit retire by the end of the year, and has only wrestled part-time on a much smaller stage since. Talk about consequences, huh?

There's a reason why this is the lowest rated Cagematch match of all time. I hope it's obvious. I don't know what looked more gruesome - Act's face or Peter B. Beautiful's skull in the last match. And the aftermath is an example of how ultimately, in this world, good things happen to bad people.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #212
Mickie Knuckles vs. Mike Levy
Queen of the Deathmatch 2008 Semi-Final Fans Bring the Weapons Match
IWA-MS Queen of the Deathmatch - June 21, 2008​

I'm genuinely saddened just looking at that listing. I know it's going to be a serious emotional toll. I don't want to do this. But reviewing the worst is the rod I have made for my own back.

Backstory is thus: there were so many no-shows at this women's deathmatch tournament that there were only 3 first-round matches. Also present was Mike Levy, an autistic man who'd barely been trained, had like 2 matches total, and wanted to be in KOTDM. So Ian Rotten put two and two together and booked this. A Fans Bring The Weapons match, which I'm guessing at this point was an Ian Rotten trademark so he could give his """talent""" a free pass to shoot on someone he didn't like. This isn't even fun anymore, it's just sickening. How it starts in storyline is Mike Levy comes out, complains about not having a match, so Rotten (after calling him a bundle of sticks) puts him up against his trainee/mistress Mickie Knuckles. Another bit of context that will become important later: Mickie Knuckles had recently been signed to TNA.

Levy is "Perez Hilton's number 1 fan", which I'm guessing is another gay joke. Knuckles starts by smashing a rack of lightbulbs into Levy. She then immediately goes for the head, with stiff shots and a thumbtack bat strike while commentary is screaming slurs at Levy. Levy's not really selling though. In fact, he comes in with a few stiff knees and a headbutt. Now, the thing about autistic people is, we're not usually the most co-ordinated. So maybe he wasn't meaning to hit Knuckles too hard. Whatever the truth is, Mickie Knuckles has got a problem. The strikes are being laid in, concluding with a high knee that Levy does a pretty decent territory sell for. Or maybe he's just legit hurt. Probably both. From what Knuckles is shouting at Levy, she is definitely not happy about the headbutts.

Knuckles hits Levy through the head with a plastic bat covered in light tubes. Not on the head, through the head. She swings so hard that the part of the bat with his head in its way smashes and the rest just continues on its arc. The match continues with Knuckles alternating between shoot boots to the head and weapon shots to the head. Computer keyboard, a jug-on-a-stick (at least she didn't smash it like that MASADA match...) and then some nasty headbutts. Levy's bleeding from the mouth. He tries to use a tack-covered bat on Knuckles but she completely no-sells and smashes two light tubes over him. She grabs the bat, hits him over the head, slices his back open with it, then swings it at him so hard that you'd swear she was trying to snap his spine in one go. She probably was. She goes for the crotch with the bat, about as hard too.

Knuckles takes a break to grab a barbed-wire ladder, before taking a barbed-wire guitar from a fan and smashing Levy with it. They go back to trading blows. Knuckles smashes Levy's face into the strangest weapon I've ever seen: an old person walker, with a toilet seat, covered in light tubes. But she misses the light tubes so she has to go again. Levy uses the first actual wrestling moves in this match, a DDT and a suplex onto the spiky ladder. Knuckles responds by smacking Levy with a milk bottle covered in tacks, followed by the jug-on-a-stick again. Levy goes to the top rope. Knuckles runs him through with some more light tubes (sending shattered glass flying everywhere) before finishing with a belly-to-belly on the ladder for three.

And now... the post-match. I actually have to spoiler this. It's THAT fucked.

Spoiler: The Post-Match

In come Devon Moore and Tank, two names I know only for being involved in sloppy deathmatch shit. Tank holds Levy, arms back and face sticking out, so Moore can double foot stomp him, face-first, on to the barbed wire ladder. They then do that spot in reverse, with Tank curb-stomping Levy, which is worse because Tank is just so fucking huge. Moore grabs a mic and screams at Levy while continuing to beat on him, with a superkick right to the skull. Levy's now outside of the ring, and it's about to get worse because Ian Rotten comes out with a barbed wire crutch. He lays into Levy while screaming more, and Tank grabs the mic and calls Levy a bundle of sticks once more.

As if that wasn't bad enough, JC Rotten comes out with a kendo stick. Yes, JC Rotten, who at this time WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD. A TWELVE YEAR OLD INVOLVING HIMSELF IN AN ATTEMPTED MURDER, ALL ON TAPE. Ian Rotten finishes it with an absolute skull-smasher of a chairshot, which makes me feel bad calling the Peter B. Beautiful chairshot rough. It's that bad. Ian explains his problem: Mickie Knuckles is signed to TNA, and Levy gave her a welt on her face that she'd have to come out on national TV with.

Then, WHY PUT HER IN A DEATHMATCH TOURNAMENT??

"You move and I'll rip your fucking nuts off and feed them to you" -verbatim quote by Ian Rotten just now. In comes Mad Man Pondo. Levy gets shards of light tubes in his back wounds, his shorts pulled down, and finally Pondo gives him a suplex directly on to (1) a steel chair and (2) CONCRETE. Fucking concrete. I know I've called matches attempted murder before, but that is attempted murder. Of an autistic man who just wanted to do his passion.

If you're a believer in karma, you'll be happy to know that Mickie Knuckles broke her leg attempting a crossbody for another IWA-MS match, which killed her TNA run. But if you're not, and you just don't want people like you to be hurt... I don't know.

I don't fucking know.

 

[Rosie]

My stomach is genuinely sickened reading that. Like, genuinely. I'm at a loss for words.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

And people wonder why Ian Rotten is considered the scummiest promoter of all time.

Hope when he dies he rests in piss. Fuck Deathmatch wrestling, for real.

 

[Rosie]

And people wonder why Ian Rotten is considered the scummiest promoter of all time.

Hope when he dies he rests in piss. Fuck Deathmatch wrestling, for real.

I don't mind hardcore wrestling. And I think if you combine it with legit wrestling with the right people you can tell some insane storylines. But violence for the sake of violence in wrestling doesn't sit well with me. Example: Omega/Moxley's two deathmatches (Ignoring the pyro botch) were good. Hangman's also had some great Texas Deathmatches in AEW. Not for everyone, but great spectacle with some actual story.

And fuck Rotten.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

I don't mind hardcore wrestling. And I think if you combine it with legit wrestling with the right people you can tell some insane storylines. But violence for the sake of violence in wrestling doesn't sit well with me. Example: Omega/Moxley's two deathmatches (Ignoring the pyro botch) were good. Hangman's also had some great Texas Deathmatches in AEW. Not for everyone, but great spectacle with some actual story.

And fuck Rotten.

There's a difference in my opinion between a hard-core match and a deathmatch. Despite it being labeled a "deathmatch", Omega/Moxley is just a hardcore match under a different name. I for one don't mind a little blood and guts in wrestling, God forbid WWE should bring some of it back every once in a while.

This is just wanton violence and garbage wrestling. Fuck Ian Rotten.

 

[Skyefire]

Entry #212
Mickie Knuckles vs. Mike Levy
Queen of the Deathmatch 2008 Semi-Final Fans Bring the Weapons Match
IWA-MS Queen of the Deathmatch - June 21, 2008​

I'm genuinely saddened just looking at that listing. I know it's going to be a serious emotional toll. I don't want to do this. But reviewing the worst is the rod I have made for my own back.

Backstory is thus: there were so many no-shows at this women's deathmatch tournament that there were only 3 first-round matches. Also present was Mike Levy, an autistic man who'd barely been trained, had like 2 matches total, and wanted to be in KOTDM. So Ian Rotten put two and two together and booked this. A Fans Bring The Weapons match, which I'm guessing at this point was an Ian Rotten trademark so he could give his """talent""" a free pass to shoot on someone he didn't like. This isn't even fun anymore, it's just sickening. How it starts in storyline is Mike Levy comes out, complains about not having a match, so Rotten (after calling him a bundle of sticks) puts him up against his trainee/mistress Mickie Knuckles. Another bit of context that will become important later: Mickie Knuckles had recently been signed to TNA.

Levy is "Perez Hilton's number 1 fan", which I'm guessing is another gay joke. Knuckles starts by smashing a rack of lightbulbs into Levy. She then immediately goes for the head, with stiff shots and a thumbtack bat strike while commentary is screaming slurs at Levy. Levy's not really selling though. In fact, he comes in with a few stiff knees and a headbutt. Now, the thing about autistic people is, we're not usually the most co-ordinated. So maybe he wasn't meaning to hit Knuckles too hard. Whatever the truth is, Mickie Knuckles has got a problem. The strikes are being laid in, concluding with a high knee that Levy does a pretty decent territory sell for. Or maybe he's just legit hurt. Probably both. From what Knuckles is shouting at Levy, she is definitely not happy about the headbutts.

Knuckles hits Levy through the head with a plastic bat covered in light tubes. Not on the head, through the head. She swings so hard that the part of the bat with his head in its way smashes and the rest just continues on its arc. The match continues with Knuckles alternating between shoot boots to the head and weapon shots to the head. Computer keyboard, a jug-on-a-stick (at least she didn't smash it like that MASADA match...) and then some nasty headbutts. Levy's bleeding from the mouth. He tries to use a tack-covered bat on Knuckles but she completely no-sells and smashes two light tubes over him. She grabs the bat, hits him over the head, slices his back open with it, then swings it at him so hard that you'd swear she was trying to snap his spine in one go. She probably was. She goes for the crotch with the bat, about as hard too.

Knuckles takes a break to grab a barbed-wire ladder, before taking a barbed-wire guitar from a fan and smashing Levy with it. They go back to trading blows. Knuckles smashes Levy's face into the strangest weapon I've ever seen: an old person walker, with a toilet seat, covered in light tubes. But she misses the light tubes so she has to go again. Levy uses the first actual wrestling moves in this match, a DDT and a suplex onto the spiky ladder. Knuckles responds by smacking Levy with a milk bottle covered in tacks, followed by the jug-on-a-stick again. Levy goes to the top rope. Knuckles runs him through with some more light tubes (sending shattered glass flying everywhere) before finishing with a belly-to-belly on the ladder for three.

And now... the post-match. I actually have to spoiler this. It's THAT fucked.

Spoiler: The Post-Match

In come Devon Moore and Tank, two names I know only for being involved in sloppy deathmatch shit. Tank holds Levy, arms back and face sticking out, so Moore can double foot stomp him, face-first, on to the barbed wire ladder. They then do that spot in reverse, with Tank curb-stomping Levy, which is worse because Tank is just so fucking huge. Moore grabs a mic and screams at Levy while continuing to beat on him, with a superkick right to the skull. Levy's now outside of the ring, and it's about to get worse because Ian Rotten comes out with a barbed wire crutch. He lays into Levy while screaming more, and Tank grabs the mic and calls Levy a bundle of sticks once more.

As if that wasn't bad enough, JC Rotten comes out with a kendo stick. Yes, JC Rotten, who at this time WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD. A TWELVE YEAR OLD INVOLVING HIMSELF IN AN ATTEMPTED MURDER, ALL ON TAPE. Ian Rotten finishes it with an absolute skull-smasher of a chairshot, which makes me feel bad calling the Peter B. Beautiful chairshot rough. It's that bad. Ian explains his problem: Mickie Knuckles is signed to TNA, and Levy gave her a welt on her face that she'd have to come out on national TV with.

Then, WHY PUT HER IN A DEATHMATCH TOURNAMENT??

"You move and I'll rip your fucking nuts off and feed them to you" -verbatim quote by Ian Rotten just now. In comes Mad Man Pondo. Levy gets shards of light tubes in his back wounds, his shorts pulled down, and finally Pondo gives him a suplex directly on to (1) a steel chair and (2) CONCRETE. Fucking concrete. I know I've called matches attempted murder before, but that is attempted murder. Of an autistic man who just wanted to do his passion.

If you're a believer in karma, you'll be happy to know that Mickie Knuckles broke her leg attempting a crossbody for another IWA-MS match, which killed her TNA run. But if you're not, and you just don't want people like you to be hurt... I don't know.

I don't fucking know.

At first, reading this, I was expecting it to end up like the ECW Mass Transit Incident, but being the promoter's fault this time. I can't watch any of that. I'm disturbed just reading it. I owned an XPW video tape back in the day but did not enjoy it. I own nearly every WWE-produced ECW DVD and enjoy that, with one match exception and that is Ian Rotten vs Axl Rotten in a Taipei Death Match which is just two guys with chards of glass taped to their fists trying to cut each other.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #213
The Gangstas vs. Chad Austin/The Blue Meanie
ECW Hardcore TV - April 2, 1996​

I honestly considered quitting this run of awfulness and just going back to matches that are bad because the wrestling is bad. I was going to do a WrestleMania 2 feature. But no, I have to finish what I started. And we enter the final leg of the series of Matches That Shouldn't Have Happened: the category of "Things New Jack did". New Jack had some problems with Chad Austin, who happened to have been a late substitution into this match after Stevie Richards broke his orbital bone. This is the result.

We join the match in progress, or maybe this is how it started, you never know with ECW. New Jack's on the outside hitting Austin with a chair. At least it's to the back, rather than right to the head. Small mercies. Mustafa and Meanie are on the inside, but they don't really matter in this one. New Jack tosses Austin to the crowd and gives him some chair shots and stiff forearms, before tossing him back to ringside and using a crutch. He's laying the shots in. One of them does clip the back of Austin's head, but I'm not sure it was deliberate. This isn't Peter B. Beautiful again.

Back in the ring, Mustafa hits a top rope Bionic Elbow on Meanie. New Jack puts Austin on a table set on the outside and leg drops him through it, though the camera completely misses it because it's focusing on Mustafa pulling out a nightstick. And even then, it misses Mustafa using it by cutting back to New Jack. Meanie gets tossed out just as Austin rolls in. Mustafa hits a powerslam on Austin to set up New Jack's 187 (chair-assisted elbow drop) for the win. Post-match New Jack keeps going for chair shots. so hard that he legit breaks Austin's leg. Fucking hell.

I mean... at least it's not as bad as the other shit I've seen? Worse is to come, though.

 

[Rosie]

Guess you got...

To finish

The

Story-

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #214
New Jack vs. Gypsy Joe
Hardcore Match
NWA Main Event Wrestling - April 5, 2003​

Three left.

This one's pretty infamous for how it circulated on the interwebs, back in the day when people called it that. Gypsy Joe is the Puerto Rican one, known for his career in the early hardcore scene. He was certainly... difficult, to an extent. So what happens if you put him with New Jack? This.

New Jack very nearly gets physical with some fans who are not very pleased with him, right at the start. He goes out of the ring as the bell sounds, seemingly not interested in beating up this near-70-year-old man. We start with an early recipe for disaster: stiff shots by New Jack, which Joe no-sells. Actually, going by what people remember of Gypsy Joe in his history, seems like he was a regular no-seller. He just didn't feel pain. New Jack is actually selling, which is a bonus. He downs Joe with a pretty hefty clothesline and starts getting weapon shots in, including what appears to be a plastic Star Wars spaceship. All the while, this hefty woman in the crowd is standing up and shouting who knows what at New Jack. Apparently this included certain racial slurs... it is a Tennessee crowd after all.

New Jack tosses Joe on the outside, where he lands his 69-year-old tailbone square on the apron. They exchange strikes, real walk-and-brawl, until something in New Jack snaps. It's not clear because it's one guy in the crowd filming it, but I can just about make out New Jack hitting Joe in the head with a chair before jumping on him to deliver a beating. Both men at some point grab chains, but it's New Jack who gets to use it, hitting Joe hard with it before grounding and seemingly choking him. He them drops a row of plastic chairs on to Joe. The old man won't stay down, so New Jack grabs a barbed wire bat, whacks Joe with it so hard the barbed wire comes off, then keeps whacking. He whips Joe with the barbed wire, clatters into chairs (as the remaining frightened fans start leaving), and the bell rings to end it. Officially a no-contest.

Gypsy Joe stands up again, so New Jack throws shit at him one more time until a guy who is presumably the promoter shows up to break it up. New Jack calls someone in the area a bundle of sticks and then fucks off. Gypsy Joe's got a cracked skull but is still standing.

Maybe I've been desensitised to violent conduct after watching Knuckles vs. Levy but... this wasn't the horror show I expected. New Jack absolutely loses his rag making it a rough watch, but it won't trouble the bottom 10.

 

[Samoa Looch]

Entry #212
Mickie Knuckles vs. Mike Levy
Queen of the Deathmatch 2008 Semi-Final Fans Bring the Weapons Match
IWA-MS Queen of the Deathmatch - June 21, 2008​

I'm genuinely saddened just looking at that listing. I know it's going to be a serious emotional toll. I don't want to do this. But reviewing the worst is the rod I have made for my own back.

Backstory is thus: there were so many no-shows at this women's deathmatch tournament that there were only 3 first-round matches. Also present was Mike Levy, an autistic man who'd barely been trained, had like 2 matches total, and wanted to be in KOTDM. So Ian Rotten put two and two together and booked this. A Fans Bring The Weapons match, which I'm guessing at this point was an Ian Rotten trademark so he could give his """talent""" a free pass to shoot on someone he didn't like. This isn't even fun anymore, it's just sickening. How it starts in storyline is Mike Levy comes out, complains about not having a match, so Rotten (after calling him a bundle of sticks) puts him up against his trainee/mistress Mickie Knuckles. Another bit of context that will become important later: Mickie Knuckles had recently been signed to TNA.

Levy is "Perez Hilton's number 1 fan", which I'm guessing is another gay joke. Knuckles starts by smashing a rack of lightbulbs into Levy. She then immediately goes for the head, with stiff shots and a thumbtack bat strike while commentary is screaming slurs at Levy. Levy's not really selling though. In fact, he comes in with a few stiff knees and a headbutt. Now, the thing about autistic people is, we're not usually the most co-ordinated. So maybe he wasn't meaning to hit Knuckles too hard. Whatever the truth is, Mickie Knuckles has got a problem. The strikes are being laid in, concluding with a high knee that Levy does a pretty decent territory sell for. Or maybe he's just legit hurt. Probably both. From what Knuckles is shouting at Levy, she is definitely not happy about the headbutts.

Knuckles hits Levy through the head with a plastic bat covered in light tubes. Not on the head, through the head. She swings so hard that the part of the bat with his head in its way smashes and the rest just continues on its arc. The match continues with Knuckles alternating between shoot boots to the head and weapon shots to the head. Computer keyboard, a jug-on-a-stick (at least she didn't smash it like that MASADA match...) and then some nasty headbutts. Levy's bleeding from the mouth. He tries to use a tack-covered bat on Knuckles but she completely no-sells and smashes two light tubes over him. She grabs the bat, hits him over the head, slices his back open with it, then swings it at him so hard that you'd swear she was trying to snap his spine in one go. She probably was. She goes for the crotch with the bat, about as hard too.

Knuckles takes a break to grab a barbed-wire ladder, before taking a barbed-wire guitar from a fan and smashing Levy with it. They go back to trading blows. Knuckles smashes Levy's face into the strangest weapon I've ever seen: an old person walker, with a toilet seat, covered in light tubes. But she misses the light tubes so she has to go again. Levy uses the first actual wrestling moves in this match, a DDT and a suplex onto the spiky ladder. Knuckles responds by smacking Levy with a milk bottle covered in tacks, followed by the jug-on-a-stick again. Levy goes to the top rope. Knuckles runs him through with some more light tubes (sending shattered glass flying everywhere) before finishing with a belly-to-belly on the ladder for three.

And now... the post-match. I actually have to spoiler this. It's THAT fucked.

Spoiler: The Post-Match

In come Devon Moore and Tank, two names I know only for being involved in sloppy deathmatch shit. Tank holds Levy, arms back and face sticking out, so Moore can double foot stomp him, face-first, on to the barbed wire ladder. They then do that spot in reverse, with Tank curb-stomping Levy, which is worse because Tank is just so fucking huge. Moore grabs a mic and screams at Levy while continuing to beat on him, with a superkick right to the skull. Levy's now outside of the ring, and it's about to get worse because Ian Rotten comes out with a barbed wire crutch. He lays into Levy while screaming more, and Tank grabs the mic and calls Levy a bundle of sticks once more.

As if that wasn't bad enough, JC Rotten comes out with a kendo stick. Yes, JC Rotten, who at this time WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD. A TWELVE YEAR OLD INVOLVING HIMSELF IN AN ATTEMPTED MURDER, ALL ON TAPE. Ian Rotten finishes it with an absolute skull-smasher of a chairshot, which makes me feel bad calling the Peter B. Beautiful chairshot rough. It's that bad. Ian explains his problem: Mickie Knuckles is signed to TNA, and Levy gave her a welt on her face that she'd have to come out on national TV with.

Then, WHY PUT HER IN A DEATHMATCH TOURNAMENT??

"You move and I'll rip your fucking nuts off and feed them to you" -verbatim quote by Ian Rotten just now. In comes Mad Man Pondo. Levy gets shards of light tubes in his back wounds, his shorts pulled down, and finally Pondo gives him a suplex directly on to (1) a steel chair and (2) CONCRETE. Fucking concrete. I know I've called matches attempted murder before, but that is attempted murder. Of an autistic man who just wanted to do his passion.

If you're a believer in karma, you'll be happy to know that Mickie Knuckles broke her leg attempting a crossbody for another IWA-MS match, which killed her TNA run. But if you're not, and you just don't want people like you to be hurt... I don't know.

I don't fucking know.

First time I've heard about this... fuckin' hell

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #215
New Jack vs. Hunter Red
TWF Shocktober - October 9, 2004​

Two left.

I was debating on including this one honestly. It's not really a match, barely anything happens in it. But I know some people are going to ask "Have you done That One Where New Jack Shanked A Guy?" so I'm gonna get it out of the way. This is from the Thunder Wrestling Federation, an indie fed from Jacksonville. Hunter Red (better known by his government name William Jason Lane, given that most of the reporting on this one is from the fuckin' police) offended New Jack by... talking to him about the layout of the match? It isn't clear. Neither is the footage, being the grainiest thing I've reviewed so far. But, here we go.

Lock-up to start, Hunter Red gives a few kinda stiff looking forearms. They go to the rope, where we see New Jack rummage in his pockets for a good 15 seconds, and eventually find a sharp object. He runs it into Hunter's back... several times. Estimates go from nine to fourteen. All I know is, after the fifth, he's flopped on to the ground. New Jack knees him in the face to send him out of the ring, where he proceeds to stab him some more. Then begins a boot choke that goes on uncomfortably long. It's as if New Jack's trying to kill him (even disregarding the stabbing). The promoter tries to wrestle the blade away from him but New Jack is having none of it.

There's not even the trappings of wrestling in this. It's just a man being stabbed. It's genuinely abhorrent.

 

[Rosie]

Next up... Mass Transit.​

Dear

Fucking

God.

For watching that match, you will be entitled to financial compensation.

 

[Storm Trooper]

First there was a run on Tyrus matches. Now we are getting felonious assault and attempted murder.

For the love of God Sky please watch something palette cleansing you've earned it. Even if it's bad wrestling just regular bad wrestling like crappy divas era stuff.