Just gonna take a few shots and start this shit

[Chris]

PWI MOTY: WrestleMania XXVIII - Hell in a Cell Match (w/ Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels): Triple H vs The Undertaker
They bring out goatee JR Shawn Michaels comes out next. Oh wow forgot HHH had hair in this one. Undertaker reveals his shaved head and the crowd fuckin’ gasps After 11 minutes of entrances (8 being HHH and ‘Taker’s), we get the cell lowered. “The Memory Remains” by Metallica plays as the Cell is lowered bc it even gets its own theme music Cole says that HHH/Taker have been in 19 of the 24 Hell in a Cell matches so far JESUS! This obviously just starts out as a brawl, and it’s really fun. Then end up outside early, the Cell gets used as a weapon and Taker hits a back body drop on the floor. Taker pushes Michaels away early which Michaels isn’t happy about. Back in the ring HHH starts making a comeback, but Taker no-sells the knee smash and then hits Old School. Back outside the ring, Taker hits HHH with the steel steps to continue the beatdown, then puts the bottom half in the ring. Michaels just looks like a concerned mother for HHH HHH is able to hit a snap DDT out of nowhere for like his first offensive move other than punches at the beginning. HHH goes for a Pedigree on the steel steps, but Taker back body drops him off. Taker continues a beatdown, but HHH catches him with a Spinebuster on the steps, but before he can capitalize Taker catches him with the Hell’s Gate submission, but HHH slams him down in it to break the hold GREAT SEQUENCE HHH brings in a couple chairs and starts hitting Taker in the back with one until Michaels even tries to tell him that’s enough. Michaels considers ending the match, but Taker is obviously like don’t fuckin’ stop it, so HHH keeps hitting him and gets a two count out of a sick beating. HHH yells at Shawn to end it and he won’t so HHH gets the fuckin’ sledgehammer out Taker gets hit right in the face with it for another two count bc you can’t kill the deadman with a goddam sledgehammer. HHH attempts actual murder with the sledgehammer, so Michaels stops him, then considers ending the match once again, so Taker locks him in the Hell’s Gate to prevent it HHH breaks it up with a sledgehammer shot again, then goes for another, but Taker hits a low blow, then locks in the Hell’s Gate again and HHH passes out but there’s no ref to call it. Lil’ Naitch Charles Robinson comes running down to the ring as Taker hits a Chokeslam for a two count. Taker gets pissed and Chokeslams Robinson so we’re back to no ref Taker then goes for a Tombstone, but HHH counters and SEND TAKER RIGHT INTO A SWEET CHIN MUSIC BY MICHAELS WHICH SENDS TAKER RIGHT INTO A PEDIGREE FOR THE GREATEST FUCKING FALSE FINISH IN ALL OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING HISTORY! God damn that holds up and then some, I really been watching this whole match just waiting for that spot. I need a fuckin’ drink. All four men including lil Naitch are down as the crowd is still hot af from that false finish, they could have milked this five more minutes if they wanted to. Michaels begs HHH not to use the sledgehammer so HHH just throws him out of the ring lol Then Taker SITS UP Taker does his WWE 2K™ comeback, completes it with a Tombstone for only two From a kayfabe standpoint Michaels is the WOAT ref, but real talk he’s the GOAT special ref for how well he worked this match. They both make their way to their feet now and trade some punches until HHH hits another Pedigree for two. Taker sits up and starts killing HHH with some chair shots until the chair is all kinds of fucked up. Michaels just begs someone to stay down so the match ends now. HHH barely makes it to his feet and hits a crotch chop to get Taker to hit him with the sledgehammer, then Taker hits the Tombstone for the win. Taker can’t sit up so Michaels has to help him, then they both help up HHH and walk out together. Shit is beautiful.

WON FOTY: UFC on Fuel TV: Korean Zombie vs Poirer - Featherweight Bout: Chan Sung Jung vs Dustin Poirier
Korean Zombie coming out to “Zombie” by the Cranberries Jung gets a couple early takes down and really takes control in round one. Jung lands some nice shots from on top, but gets a little sloppy and Poirier reverses and ends up on top of Jung now. They break it off and have a nice exchange for the last 20 seconds of the round or so. Poirier has a cut on his head from probably an elbow. Jung knocks down Poirier early and keeps landing some shots from top position, but Poirier is pretty active on the bottom, so this is fun still. They get back to their feet, and Poirier tries to push it forward, but Jung lands a sick flying knee, followed by a takedown with some more elbows Jung goes for an armbar, transitions to a triangle and Poirier looks STRESSED trying to stay out of these lmao. Really good defense by Poirier to get back to an advantageous position. Jung again gets a triangle almost locked on as the round ends, great shit. They have a fun stand-up exchange for the first half of round three before Jung hits a nice takedown, but they end up back up quickly. They then have this awesome tired brawl, and Jung looks much more tired now whereas Poirier looks fresher, but Jung has easily won all three rounds so far points-wise. Poirier definitely did better this round since he wasn’t on his back most of it, but you still gotta give it to Jung just for the sheer amount of strikes landed. They have a stand-up exchange to start round 4, but Jung rocks Poirier and then hits a brutal flying knee followed by a takedown then locks in a D’arce Choke for the win OH SHIT A FOTY DIDN’T GO TO DECISION

WON WMOTY: Over the Limit - No Disqualification Match (Laurinaitis fired if Cena wins, anyone who interferes is fired): John Cena vs John Laurinaitis
Cole/King/Booker on commentary still so just kill me now. Cole does start bringing up Laurinaitis’s Japan career, plus we get a Dynamic Dudes reference Big Johnny’s ring gear legendary af tbh, but anyway fun’s over bc the bell rings. Laurinaitis tries to leave early, but Cena catches him and throws him back in the ring. Cena just toys with him for awhile, hitting an airplane spin instead of the AA, and the announcers think it’s the most hilarious thing ever. Cena then gets the ring bell and rings it on Johnny’s head Bro tell me why one of these Spanish announcers has their laptop open to the WWE.com roster list Probably the best spot of the match where Cena sits Laurinaitis up in an announcer chair and they put on the headsets and Cena mocks Booker and Cole Cena brings a mic into the ring like we can’t hear him call every spot anyway Cena says he’ll put on the STF for 10 seconds and if Laurinaitis doesn’t tap he’ll let go of it the fuck? Laurinaitis lasts the 10 seconds, so Cena says he’s going to do it again and Laurinaitis still doesn’t tap. So Cena now goes and gets a water, still using the mic to tell the fans everything he’s doing next, and pours it over Laurinaitis as the crowd starts chanting “this is awful” so instead of doing something not awful, Cena pours the water down Laurinaitis’s pants. Cena then gets a fire extinguisher covers Laurinaitis. Outside the ring, Cena dumps a trash can out over Laurinatis, fuckin’ gross. But then FINALLY Laurinaitis attacks Cena’s arm that Brock Lesnar hurt at Extreme Rules a few months ago, and he gets a chair and hits his only offense of the match so far. Laurinaitis goes for a shot to the face, but Cena blocks it, and does a Five Knuckle Shuffle with the chair. Laurinaitis catches Cena with a low blow, and then tries to escape through the crowd. Cena finally gets up as Laurinaitis leaves the area, so Cena is pissed now. But WAIT Big Show fucking comes dragging Johnny down, he’s allowed to interfere since he was already fired by Laurinaitis. Show sends Laurinaitis into Cena for an AA, but then knocks out Cena for the SWERVE, but the fucking announcers think it was an accident or something until they see the replay. Laurinaitis takes years to crawl over and pin Cena, but he gets the three count. This was almost worth watching just to see the family of Cena fans disappointed af at the end, but this would have been a decent comedy match if they would have just cut off half of it, no reason for this shit to be 20 minutes.

WON MOTY: King of Pro-Wrestling - IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Minoru Suzuki
They flash some past champs on the screen including BROCK before the entrances. They pace themselves for a longer match early so this starts off pretty slow, but with some solid chain wrestling and mat exchanges, with each guy going back and forth. Tanahashi does his abdominal stretch air guitar, which the crowd loves, but pisses Suzuki off. They start brawling a little more now and Suzuki locks in an armbar OVER THE TOP ROPE He keeps working over the arm outside the ring, using the rails, and the ring posts. Suzuki’s strikes are really fun, and he works the arm for a bit longer instead of just doing a lot of random shit, hopefully Tanahashi sells it late in the match or at lease does that hitting bullshit to get feeling back in. Tanahashi tries to make a one-armed comeback, and catches Suzuki with a dragon screw, and Suzuki sells the knee like it fuckin’ broke. Tanahashi works the knee for a bit, but gets caught in the arm again and Suzuki starts trying to bite Tanahashi’s arm wrap fucking gross. Tanahashi tries to make another comeback, but gets caught in an armbar, and either Suzuki is weak af or wrestling is fixed bc I believe that arm should have been broken :hm: Tanahashi still sells like it almost is at least, and manages to make a comeback going for the knee again, even hitting a frog splash on it They work a really cool Figure-4 spot that last forever, but this crowd didn’t even “woo” Both these guys are selling their hurt extremity really well as Suzuki takes control again with a Sleeper after a slap exchange. They work the sleeper spot for a while too LOVE that so much of this match is working some classic wrestling holds even if they’ve all been bastardized. Back on their feet, Suzuki starts murdering Tanahashi with slaps BRUH I’d have to get paid a pretty penny to stand there and have a man slap me this many times in the face. Suzuki tries to hit the Gotch-Style Piledriver, but Tanahashi fights out, hits a Sling Blade, but gets caught with knees when he goes for a Frog Splash. Suzuki kills him with more slaps, but Tanahashi hits a dragon screw between the ropes, hits a crossbody frog splash off the top, then a regular one for the win GREAT FUCKING MATCH

 

[Deezy]

personally I thought the HIAC was too long.

 

[Chris]

Me too, especially the first time I watched it. It still drug at the beginning bc the first 10 minutes was literally just punches but knowing what was coming next made that easier to watch.

 

[Cwalker]

That HIAC still holds up and looking back; I kinda wished Taker hung it up here. With the exception of the Brock matches in 2015, I haven’t really enjoyed anything he’s done after this. Including the Punk match

 

[Chris]

2013 WON MOTY: Invasion Attack - IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Kazuchika Okada (w/ Gedo)
The video package that plays before is pretty cool, shows how Okada got back here after losing to Tanahashi a little while back. Would be cooler if I spoke Japanese though. We get a slow feeling out process to start that’s really fun and has Tanahashi tease hitting Okada’s Rainmaker, so Okada gets PISSED and goes after him with some great strikes and does the Jericho one foot pin, Okada’s arrogance is AMAZING! Okada stays one step ahead of Tanahashi until Tanahashi catches him and starts working the arm, which I’m guessing is to negate the Rainmaker. Okada fights back and is able to hit a brutal DDT onto the apron Now that we’ve popped the big move cherry, this really starts picking up with Okada selling the arm and Tanahashi selling the neck well. Okada locks on this really weird submission hold that’s pretty cool and put a lot of pressure on the neck of Tanahashi. Okada stays in control as they end up outside again, and he uses the guard rail to put even more pressure on Tanahashi’s neck. Tanahashi is able to reverse a Tombstone attempt to the outside, slam Okada’s arm into the post and hit a nice dive to regain control for the first time in awhile. Wait I just realized Tanahashi has been working the non-Rainmaker arm this whole time at least I think it is Either way he’s working it really well, stopping any of Okada’s comeback attempts with shots to the arm. Okada finally fights back with his Reverse Neckbreaker, and a diving elbow with his good arm. He tries to do his taunt but sells the hurt arm Okada is able to lock on his STF variation called Red Ink after a fucking beautiful dropkick, but Tanahashi fights to the ropes. Okada keeps hitting bigger moves with his Heavy Rain death valley driver variation, but Tanahashi won’t stay down and fights back with some suplex variations, but gets caught on the top rope with a dropkick that sends him to the floor. Okada hits a big boot over the rail and then a fucking rail-hung DDT on to the floor Tanahashi barely makes it in before the 20 count, but is able to get a little offense in before getting caught with the RAINMAKER but Okada used his hurt arm so he can’t capitalize right away and only gets two Okada is able to lock on Red Ink again, and they work that hold for awhile before Tanahashi finally gets a rope break. Tanahashi once again makes a comeback because GUESS WHAT HE TARGETS THE ARM Tanahashi hits in rapid fire a frog splash crossbody, sling blade, then a dragon suplex, but only gets a two He goes up top and hits a Frog Splash to Okada’s back, but when he goes for a second Okada gets the knees up to reverse it. The ending sequence is fucking awesome with Tombstone and Rainmaker teases until finally Okada hits both of them and acts like his arm is dead bc of it as he makes the cover for the win

PWI MOTY: SummerSlam - WWE Championship (w/ Special Guest Referee Triple H): John Cena (c) vs Daniel Bryan
The crowd is super hot for Bryan and boos Cena a good bit, about what you’d expect. The crowd starts a “You can’t wrestle” chant so Cena does the “Me or him?” thing Punk did at MITB a couple years before Then Cena goes on to have a fucking great chain wrestling exchange to shut the crowd up. After getting outwrestled, Cena starts to use his power now and sends Bryan off the apron onto the announce table, but once they get outside the ring, Bryan is able to send him into the ring steps, and then goes for a suplex off of them, but Cena counters with his own, sending both guys to the floor. Cena stays in control in the ring with a sit-out powerbomb for two. Bryan starts fighting back with his strikes and the crowd just goes nuts with “YES!” chants. He misses the final YES kick, which lets Cena start his usual combo, and the heat he gets when he sets up the Five Knuckle Shuffle is great, but Bryan counters only for Cena to get him back into position and hit it on the second try. Bryan keeps fighting back though, hitting a diving dropkick, then starts working over Cena’s previously hurt arm. Cena tries to counter with an STF, but Bryan says fuck you and puts on an STF of his own Bryan hits a couple rolling, bridging german suplexes for a two count each, then Cena tries to hit an AA, but Bryan counters into the YES! Lock Cena powers out, but Bryan just won’t stop and gets a guillotine locked on next as King says he’s “on Cena like a spider monkey.” Cena fights out and both guys sell the effects of this match really well. Cena hits a flash AA as they get up, but Bryan kicks out and the crowd goes nuts. HHH is like “He kicked out” and Cena goes “I know, he likes to kick” They have an exchange on the top rope for a bit until Bryan hits a fucking SPIDER SUPERPLEX so he’s able to bridge back up and hit a diving headbutt for two Cena rolls out of the ring, so Bryan goes for a suicide dive, but Cena catches him with a sick elbow instead. Cena goes up and hits the greatest diving leg drop bulldog of his career for two. Cena tries to hit a super AA, but Bryan fights back with elbows and goes for a super hurricanrana, but Cena counters and almost lands Bryan right on his head, but locks the STF on in the center of the ring, but Bryan again reverses into a YES! Lock. Cena gets to the ropes and HHH starts the count, and man I woulda marked so hard if he yelled “I HAVE TIL FIVE” Bryan hits some running dropkicks in the corner, but when he goes for the third one Cena hits a HUGE FUCKING CLOTHESLINE THAT MURDERS BRYAN OH MY GOD REST IN PIECES They start exchanging strikes as they get back to their feet until both men end up taking each other out coming off the ropes. Both men lean on the other to get up to their feet, and then get into a slap fight, Bryan goes for his backflip combo, but Cena kinda catches him into an AA position, but Bryan counters into a DDT Bryan goes for a diving crossbody, but Cena catches him, signals for the AA, but Bryan counters into a small package for two, then hits a brutal fucking kick to the head. He starts up the YES! Chants before hitting the running knee for the finish They really let Bryan celebrate for so long before Orton comes out too smh getting all the marks hopes up that there wouldn’t be any bullshit

WON FOTY: UFC 166: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos III - Lightweight Bout: Diego Sanchez vs Gilbert Melendez
Sanchez is able to get a quick takedown, but Melendez fights out and catches him with a couple shots and we get a decent stand up fight for the rest of the first round with Melendez landing a lot more strikes, cutting Sanchez over his eye and really hurting his body with some strikes, and then these two end the round just throwing hands nonstop for the last 15 seconds or so Round 2 starts with some even better stand-up exchanges but the ref calls time after a couple minutes to check Sanchez’s cut, but he says he’s good so they keep fighting. They keep up the pace with Melendez hitting more shots, but Sanchez sneaks his own in as well. Sanchez gets a takedown, but only for a second and Melendez is back up swinging again Another round win for Melendez just for the sheer amount of strikes landed. Only three rounds in this one since it’s not for a belt or a main event so Sanchez’s corner tells him to look for the knockout here. So he just comes out and EATS SO MANY FUCKING SHOTS THIS MAN IS INSANE They’re just swinging wildly now, Sanchez is barely hitting Melendez but my god he’s eating these shots like they’re nothing Sanchez’s cut is terrible now so they check it again and you here him say “Hey it’s going down the side” talking about the blood so they say “let him go then” The crowd is fully behind Sanchez now as he keeps trying to get the finish, and everytime he gets punched he yells at Melendez to keep coming Then SANCHEZ CATCHES HIM WITH A PUNCH AND ROCKS HIM Sanchez tries to get a guillotine, but Melendez slips out, and they’re both back up and swinging again HOLY FUCK THERE’S STILL A MINUTE LEFT Sanchez still keeps pushing trying to finish the fight, but the 10 second warning hits and they just start swinging until the round ends again WOW Joe Rogan calls this the best fight ever, and I’ll at least say that third round is the best round I’ve ever seen, probably easily tbh. Melendez ends up winning by unanimous decision, but one judge gave it 30-27 instead of 29-28 HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT GIVE SANCHEZ ROUND THREE AT LEAST GOD DAMMIT I HATE JUDGES AND THEIR BULLSHIT

WON WMOTY: Survivor Series - 7-on-7 Survivor Series Elimination Match: Total Divas (The Bella Twins (Brie & Nikki Bella), Eva Marie, The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi), Eva Marie, JoJo, & Natalya) vs True Divas (AJ Lee, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, & Tamina Snuka)
The True Divas have this god awful promo before to show they all hate AJ, cool. The Total Divas all come out together to the theme song of the show and act like they’re best friends but isn’t the plot of this show that they all fuckin hate each other anyway They show a clip of Alicia and Eva feeding poor people in Boston yesterday smh they’re on the opposite teams so kayfabe is so dead. Naomi and Alicia starts first, and they’re exchange is alright but last like a minute until Naomi eliminates Alicia with a Split-legged Moonsault to no crowd reaction Rosa and Cameron come in now, and Rosa eliminates Cameron lol are we only gonna get tags when there’s an elimination. Rosa shakes her ass as King says we should have a twerk off, and Nikki comes in and eliminates Rosa with a weak ass facebuster. Summer comes in and does her Fandango dance moves, so Nikki does the worm even though the crowd is yelling “twerk” then kicks Summer in the face to eliminate her without her having an offensive move Eva comes in to some huge heat and gets eliminated instantly from Kaitlyn with a fucking Gutbuster Naomi gets back in and also gets eliminated by that gutbuster. Brie comes in next and eliminates Kaitlyn with a missile dropkick. AJ distracts Brie and allows Aksana to eliminate her with a fucking Spinebuster Nikki hits the Rack Attack on Aksana to eliminate her. Some fucks in the crowd try to start a “We want JoJo” chant as Nikki is getting wrecked by Tamina so they tag her in, and Tamina’s offense is fucking terrible. JoJo almost gets a 3 count with a roll up to the only real crowd reaction so far, but then gets killed by a clothesline and Samoan Drop, then tags in AJ to pin her for some reason. Natalya gets in for the first time now, and Tamina does more shitty strikes, then misses the Superfly Splash, so Natalya locks on the Sharpshooter so Tamina taps...right before AJ comes in So AJ just gets locked in the Sharpshooter and the Divas Champion taps out in a half second after no previous damage done to her. Bro this match was one of the hardest to sit through, I thought the quick eliminations would help make it go by quicker but FUCK no, they should have just had half of them get DQ’d for fighting at the beginning or something and does a 2 on 2 with AJ/Tamina vs Nikki/Nattie or something.

 

[Deezy]

Dave does not give divas any chances

 

[Chris]

2014 WON FOTY: UFC 171: Hendricks vs. Lawler - UFC Welterweight Championship: Johny Hendricks vs Robbie Lawler
Really fun stand-up exchange for most of round one, Hendricks was more the aggressor, but no one really eats any huge shots. They start landing more combos in round two, with Hendricks still doing better, but Lawler is able to land some big shots this round as well. They end up on the ground for just a second before standing back up. Both really start connecting the last 30 seconds or so, but it’s another win for Hendricks in my opinion here, but it’s still anyone’s fight. Hendricks again comes out strong in the third round, but Lawler finally catches him with a punch and gets really rocked, and almost looks like he might go down, but he defends enough to recover. Hendricks hits a couple good shots and Lawler just fucking smiles at him Hendricks still finishes strong, but Lawler definitely won that round. This fourth round is really fun, Hendricks gets rocked again early and gets cut, but he recovers and keeps pushing forward as well, landing some great leg kicks. Hendricks ends the round super strong with a takedown, but that’s probably not enough to win the round with how many more strikes Lawler landed. This whole fight has just been constant stand up strikes, but only a few huge ones because they’re obviously trying to save their stamina to not die in the 5 rounds and it’s been really entertaining so far. I’d say it’s tied going into round 4, but fuck judges they probably got all 4 going to one guy or something Joe Rogan says this is definitely tied 2-2 unless the judges are incompetent Hendricks goes for a takedown early, but they end up clinched against the cage where Hendricks hits some decent knees to the legs, but the ref breaks it after a bit of no action. Both guys just start eating shots the last two minutes or so, looking tired af and it definitely looks like Hendricks has the advantage now as Hendricks backs Lawler into the cage and hits a takedown that most likely secures him the championship. Really good grinding 5 round fight, not a lot of crazy shit happened but these dudes were just constantly hitting each other. Hendricks wins unanimously 48-47 so none of the judges fucked up.

WON WMOTY: Extreme Rules - Steel Cage Match: Bray Wyatt (w/ Erick Rowan & Luke Harper) vs John Cena
Man I really enjoyed this feud until they went all cringy and brought in kids even though the kids were still cheering Cena, it was the adult fans that turned their backs on him. The crowd clapping along with Wyatt’s theme song will always be cool af. The crowd starts a “Lets go Wyatt” chant and he’s really good at playing the heel who’s cheered for. Cena catches him with a quick Fisherman Suplex, and goes to climb the cage, but Harper and Rowan eye him down. Wyatt is much better at talking while in control than actually doing any real offense bc this stereotypical cage offense is boring af. Rowan gets involved by just running into the cage to hurt himself any Cena, and then WYATT CONDUCTS THE CROWD TO START SINGING “He’s got the whole world in his hands” Damn that’s gotta be the best part of this whole match, that shit was cool af. Wyatt tries to go through the door, but Cena stops him, so Cena tries to go over the top again, but this time Wyatt catches him. This was booked so poorly, they should have had Cena in control most of the match and generate all the heat since Wyatt is being cheered for so hard, but instead it’s Wyatt in control and there’s a few “Let’s go Cena chants” but they mostly just sing Wyatt’s song. Cena tries to escape by climbing, but Wyatt fucking spider walks towards the door so Cena has to jump down to stop him Cena tries to go out the door again after a bit of boring stuff, but Harper and Rowan hilariously keep him from getting out until Wyatt recovers. Cena tries to climb down again, but this time Rowan puts him on his shoulders and climbs up to send him back in fuck Cena why don’t you just try and win by pin or something, it’s not escape only. Cena ends up pulling Harper down into the ring, so now he might be able to escape, but Wyatt tries to escape through the door, only for Cena to kick it in his face while climbing down that would have been a great finish to a cage match without this bullshit booking. Rowan stops Cena from winning again. We finally get a bit more wrestling in the ring where Cena locks in the STF after an exchange. Wyatt smartly crawls towards the door to break the hold, and Rowan tries to pull Wyatt out, but Cena pulls him back in. Wyatt tries to climb out, but Cena catches him with a Super AA, but god damn Luke Harper is still inside so he breaks up the in and I don’t even feel bad for Cena bc his dumbass threw him in the cage. Cena tries to climb out once again, but of course Rowan stops him again, but Cena manages to take all three guys out and tries to crawl towards the door again, but the fucking lights go out and some creepy ass kid is at the door singing this distracts Cena long enough for Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail and leave the cage. This could have been so much better holy shit why did they think this would be a good way to do this match

PWI MOTY: Payback - Last Man Standing Match: Bray Wyatt (w/ Erick Rowan & Luke Harper) vs John Cena (w/ The Usos (Jey & Jimmy Uso))
Lol this video package includes that shitty finish at Extreme Rules. Off topic, but I feel like these Payback PPVs always have surprisingly good shows. Cena comes out alone and Wyatt signals for all three of them to attack him, but then The Usos come out to even the odds. The first 5 minutes of this are already so much better than the cage match, with Wyatt being in control early, though Cena does hit his combo and completes everything but the AA at one point pretty quickly. Wyatt’s offense is so much better here since he’s not just slamming Cena into a cage the whole match. Wyatt fucking wit the ref when he’s counting is amazing. Cena gets hit with a DDT on the hard part of the apron and gets up at 8 as both guys make their way to the top turnbuckle. Cena ends up hitting his leg drop bulldog off the top, but takes awhile to get up and gets hit with Sister Abigail out of nowhere, but Cena still gets up at 8 and then hits his own AA on Wyatt who spiderwalks up and the ref fucking got scared The Wyatt family tries to get involved but The Usos won’t let them, and both teams take each other out with awesome dives to let the main wrestlers catch their breath. Wyatt comes in with a chair to take out Cena and Cena ends up falling out of the ring. Wyatt tries to murder Cena by hitting him in the head with the chair when his head was by the ring post, but Cena moves and then uses the chair to punish Wyatt. Cena pulls out a couple tables now to get them involved. Cena goes for an AA through the table, but Wyatt counters with a suplex through it. Cena uses the table to help himself up and makes it in time as Wyatt brings the steel steps in, hits Cena in the head, then stands on the steps and conducts the crowd to sing Cena is able to catch Wyatt with a chair and hits Wyatt with the steps this time. “Last Man Standing” is trending worldwide. Wyatt rolls out of the ring, so Cena FUCKING SPRINTS AND LAUNCHES THE STEPS RIGHT AT HIS FACE FROM THE RING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST RIP BRAY WYATT He somehow gets back to his feet as Cena gets even more tables. They were busy replaying that sick steps shot as Wyatt hits a Sister Abigail out of nowhere outside. Cena gets back up as the crowd chants “This is awesome” and it is. Wyatt takes a nasty bump into the post/bottom steps, and Wyatt’s arm is bleeding pretty decently now. Wyatt ends up hitting this awesome running senton on the outside using the bottom steps for more momentum They keep brawling until Cena hits an AA on the outside. The Wyatt Family comes back out and takes out Cena and helps Wyatt up to prevent him from losing. The Usos come back and one of them takes out Rowan, but the other gets hit in the face from a table while trying a suicide dive. Wyatt is sitting in the corner, and announcers are yelling at the official to count, but he’s just chilling One Uso ends up smashing Rowan with his ass through a table and Harper fucking superplexes the other onto two tables set up outside okay no more tag teams bc those guys are dead. I love the filler they added with the tag teams bc LMS matches can drag sometimes. Back to the main match Wyatt just bulldozes Cena through the barricade They end up brawling in the crowd by the pyro shit bc Cena accidentally hits a button I guess and sets off some on the stage Cena ends up hitting an AA sending Wyatt through some technical equipment, and then he puts another one on top of it so Wyatt can’t get up lol that finish felt a little force, I wish they would have just brawled for like a second more in that area bc it looked pretty telegraphed. Overall match was fucking awesome though, as good as I remembered for sure.

WON MOTY: G1 Climax 24 - Day 7 - G1 Climax 24 Block B Match: AJ Styles (6) vs Minoru Suzuki (6)
This starts off super fast-paced, no chain wrestling or feeling out process whatsoever. Like Styles hits his flying forearm off the guard rail within the first minute This is really hate-filled, with some great strikes. Styles is in control for the first bit until Suzuki catches him going for the Phenomenal Forearm, and Suzuki starts throwing these fucking great strikes and really brutalizes Styles on the outside, using a chair for an armbar that some poor fan was sitting in Back in the ring, Suzuki keeps working the arm really well. He keeps this up until Styles manages this really cool reversal resulting in a suplex into the corner. Styles goes for a forearm in the corner, but hits the ref instead. Taka Michinoku from Suzuki-gun comes out to help Suzuki but Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson from the Bullet Club come out to help so Lance Archer and Davey Boy Smith Jr come out and they all brawl outside as Suzuki and Styles keep up the action inside the ring, cool little run in spot. They have this awesome strikes exchange that ends with both guys down on the mat. Styles does the bullet club gun thing to Suzuki’s head, but Suzuki grabs his finger and almost breaks it Suzuki reverses a Phenomenal Forearm into an arm/finger hold, but Styles gets to the ropes. After another nice strike exchange, Suzuki locks on his Sleeper Hold, and Styles fades so Suzuki tries to go for his Gotch-Style Piledriver, but Styles fights out, and tries for the Styles Clash, but Suzuki locks in an Ankle Lock. They trade Ankle Lock counters until Suzuki gets an Armbar locked in that looks sick af, but Styles manages to hit like half a Styles Clash to escape it. Suzuki spits on Styles face as they meet in the center of the ring and trade strikes again and Styles manages to hit a Pele kick, followed by a Styles Clash for the win. Fucking awesome match.

 

[Crippler]

That last man standing match getting the nod over Shield/Wyatt or Cesaro/Sami is a bit surprising. I should rewatch it then.

 

[Cwalker]

Only part I remember of that match is the stairs spot

 

[Crippler]

word and I only remember that because Deezy had it as his sig picture.

 

[Chris]

I was thinking Bryan/Batista/Orton at Mania was more of a PWI moty too but the Last Man standing still definitely held up, ending was just meh.

 

[Cwalker]

That was a good one. Could’ve put Bryan/Hunter there too.

Tho I’m surprised they didn’t go with Lesnar/Cena just based off the significance

 

[Chris]

2015 WON MOTY: Wrestle Kingdom 9 in Tokyo Dome - IWGP Intercontinental Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs Kota Ibushi
GOOD OL’ MOTHERFUCKING JIM ROSS IS CALLING THIS WITH MATT STRIKER Nakamura has some amazing entrance gear. They have a slow feeling out process, but it doesn’t last too long before it breaks down into a nice brawl. Ibushi mocks Nakamura’s Good Vibrations corner stomp, so Nakamura gets super pissed This opening is so goddamn good, Nakamura uses his knee strikes really well, and Ibushi sells them even better like he’s concussed or something. Nakamura slows down the pace to counter Ibushi’s high flying for a bit. Ibushi starts to fight back with shots to the chest, but Nakamura just brushes them off and starts slapping him in the face Ibushi finally speeds up the pace and hits this BEAUTIFUL springboard moonsault to the outside. Ibushi keeps it up until Nakamura hits him with a jumping kick off a springboard, good shit. Nakamura goes back at it with the knees, but they end up on the top rope and Ibushi hits a fucking springboard super hurricanrana for a two count Ibushi’s offense is so fast-paced, and he keeps smoothly hitting these ridiculous moves like this standing corkscrew moonsault. Ibushi hits this sick head kick followed by a sit-out powerbomb for two. Ibushi misses a Phoenix Splash, and Nakamura instantly hits him with the Bomaye knee Once both men get up they have this great, heated strike exchange, throwing closed fists which the announcers put over as being rare in NJPW. Ibushi mocks Nakamura’s theatrics and then hits his own Bomaye That only gets a two count, but got a great reaction from the crowd. They have another good strike exchange with Ibushi taking control and he hits this weird suplex over the ropes from the apron for two. Ibushi goes for the Phoenix-Plex, but Nakamura counters with some sick headbutts and elbows. Nakamura goes for the Bomaye again, misses, but then catches Ibushi with a Michinoku Driver, followed by a Bomaye for the three count.

WON FOTY: UFC 189: Mendes vs McGregor - UFC Welterweight Championship: Robbie Lawler (c) vs Rory MacDonald
First round is a pretty slow feeling out process with no one landing any substantial shots. Only notable part of the round was when MacDonald got a takedown stuffed and then ate a knee from Lawler coming back up. Round two is more of the same, but each guy steadily lands more shots. MacDonald’s nose gets fucked, and starts pouring blood. They have a fun exchange to end the round. Still a really close fight after two. Third round picks up the action a good bit, MacDonald is still pouring blood, and he’s taking some hard shots now, but also lands a few of his own. MacDonald has multiple cuts at this point, but we still get this slow grinding fight with Lawler being a patient fighter, but this backfires as he gets rocked with a head kick, and MacDonald goes for the finish just fucking throwing shot after shot, but Lawler gets saved by the end of the round FUCK YES! MacDonald comes out firing to start round four and continues where he left off last round. Lawler recovers pretty well though and we look back even again. I think Lawler has his own blood on him now and not just MacDonald’s. They end the round with a staredown MacDonald just looks like a fucking zombie starting this final round covered in blood. Both come out swinging, but Lawler catches him with a shot to his already shattered nose and MacDonald just buckles from the pain. The shot itself wasn’t too sick, but the way MacDonald went down definitely was, he just curled up into a fuckin’ ball. Awesome fucking fight. They show CM Punk in the audience after the fight

WON WMOTY: Triplemania XXIII - Los Psycho Circus (Monster Clown, Murder Clown, & Psycho Clown) vs Los Villanos (Villano III, Villano IV, & Villano V)
The youngest Villano in this match, IV, is 53 so I’m gonna make a strong drink before this one. Hugo Savinovich and Matt Striker are calling this, and they bring out some super old referee named Pepe that I think is going to call this match UGH! The audio is fucking up and you only hear Savinovich for awhile and can’t hear Striker at all. They show a lot of highlight pics of Los Villanos as this is III’s retirement match. Psycho Circus comes out next with a lot of circus acts. FAT Villano V explains that him and III are getting to wear their masks even though they previously lost them for just this one match, cool. The match starts and the audio difficulties are still a thing just fyi. These clowns’ attire is so absurd lol I love it. There’s two refs in the ring, probably bc the really old guy is just there as a prop or something. Oh my god this is so bad, the bumping and strikes are just atrocious, like some of the weakest offense I’ve ever seen. The crowd is absolutely dead, as Striker says thanks to fans on Twitter who’ve pointed out the technical issues At one point los Villanos slam I believe Murder Clown into the ring post and it looked like they were in slow motion Striker says he hears a buzzing sound and hopes the audience at home isn’t hearing it….we are. Two clowns hit a decent stereo suicide dive spot, but that’s the only thing that’s looked okay all night. Bro this really might be the worst match at all time. I’ve never seen weaker looking triple team spots. Striker says the crowd seems split but IDK how he can tell bc they’ve been dead all match. The Circus taunts forever until los Villanos recover. Two go for a superplex on Monster Clown, but the other two clowns hit them with like metal cookie sheets or something. Villanos hit some fuckin old man suicide dives as Villano III and Psycho Clown. Psycho gets a chair, but then salutes III for a sign of respect I guess and dumps the chair WHAT! They have this weak exchange that ends with Psycho hitting a weak clothesline and a diving headbutt but then STOP THE FUCKING PIN AND BOWS AT VILLANO III WHY IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK! The other two Villanos come in and for some reason BOTH refs only hold V back even though they haven’t done shit about triple teams or tags yet. Villano IV wins with a kick to the dick and it's over. Guys I say this with all honesty but this is by far the worst match I’ve ever seen, even without the technical difficulties. I need more drinks.

PWI MOTY: NXT TakeOver: Respect - 30-minute Iron Man Match for the NXT Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs Sasha Banks
First of all, I don’t even think this was the best Bayley/Sasha match of 2015 but whatever. Pretty hype training video package before this one starts. Both women get Gorilla Position shots before their entrances Crowd starts a “this is awesome” chant before the match even starts smh fuckin’ marks. Opening exchange is a lot of fun with both women trading pinning combinations, most of it pretty smooth, but any fuck ups are recovered pretty well, and not too bad. Bayley hits a Japanese arm drag at one point that almost dropped Sasha right on her head. This picks up steam where both start trading counters, and attempting their respective finishers. Bayley tries to show respect to Sasha and pulls her up, but Sasah just slams her down hard as shit Bayley gets fired up now and the crowd gets super hot for her offense, which is pretty fun. Sasha tries to get a quick fall using the ropes for leverage, but the ref noticed and stops her. First fall comes with Sasha hitting Bayley with a thumb to the eye while her ass was in the ref’s face in the corner so he couldn’t see, and then Sasha rolls up Bayley. Sasha 1-0 w/ 21 minutes remaining. The second fall is pretty short but super fun. Bayley ends up pulling Sasha off the top rope and hitting a Bayley-to-Belly to tie it up. Tied 1-1 w/ 19 minutes remaining. Bayley goes for a baseball slide again, but this time Sasha catches her and throws her head first into the steel steps in front of her own family Sasha keeps beating down Bayley and then talks shit to her family in the front row They make their way to the stage and Sasha sends Bayley into LED board to get a win by countout. Sasha 2-1 w/ 16 minute remaining. Sasha makes this little girl that’s supposedly Bayley’s biggest fan cry Bayley barely makes it in before getting counted out a second time, and Sasha keeps taunting Bayley as the crowd starts a “Sasha’s ratchet” chant Bayley locks in a Boston Crab and stomps on Bayley’s head during it this bitch is vicious. She tries to go for it a second time, but Bayley does this AWESOME reversal to tie it back Tied 2-2 with 13 minutes remaining. Bayley makes an actual comeback now that ends with a sloppy facebuster. Bayley hits a cool elbow drop while Sasha was in the tree of woe, and both women are really selling the match well. Sasha sets Bayley in the tree of woe now and hits some double knees that were way cooler than the elbow drop. Sasha gets caught shoulder first in the ring post, and then Bayley starts going after Sasha’s hand the same way Sasha did during their Takeover: Brooklyn match. They keep brawling outside, each using the steps as a weapon, pretty good shit. Sasha goes for a suicide dive, but Bayley catches her and hits a Bayley-to-Belly on the outside That only gets a two count by the time Bayley rolls Sasha into the ring. Bayley then hits a super Bayley-to-Belly off the top rope, but she pins her stupidly and Sasha’s foot gets over the ropes Byron Saxton says if this is a draw then he assumes Bayley would retain and Corey Graves basically calls him a dumbass and said they’d go to overtime like every other WWE Iron Man Match Bayley goes for a super reverse hurricanrana, but Sasha lands on her fuckin’ feet and hits a belly-to-belly of her own for a great near fall, then transitions beautifully into a Bank Statement with about a minute and a half left Sasha can’t lock it on fully bc she’s selling her hand from earlier, so Bayley tries to break her hand to get out of the hold, then locks in a scissored armbar and Sasha can’t hold on for 15 seconds and taps right before the bell rings Bayley 3-2 with 0 minutes remaining. Really fun for sure, but I don’t see why this was MOTY, like even if they wanted to give it to a women’s match there were better. But the crowd chants “Match of the year” after so that’s probably why.

 

[Cwalker]

Sasha is god awful in the last 10 seconds of Ironman matches

 

[Crippler]

unclutch gene