Just gonna take a few shots and start this shit

[Chris]

2016 WON FOTY: UFC 195: Lawler vs. Condit - UFC Welterweight Championship: Robbie Lawler (c) vs Carlos Condit
Opening round is really fun, both guys eat some shots and Lawler gets rocked early for a bit but recovers pretty quickly. Condit definitely wins the first round, really good stand up stuff throughout. It almost looks like Lawler is just trying to tire Condit out, playing defense and waiting for his spot and it pays off when he fucking murders Condit with a right hand to send him down. Condit is able to recover in full guard, and Lawler lets him get back up Lawler’s head movement is amazing, the rest of the round is more stand-up action with Lawler landing a couple more decent shots. Both guys start really going at it in the third round, with Lawler landing more, but Condit still holds his own. At one point Condit walked right into an elbow that looks stiff as shit. Condit has some blood on his mouth now, Lawler is pretty clean still. Condit lands way more strikes, but Lawler’s were way stronger in round three. More of the same stand-up stuff in round four, Condit throwing a shit ton of weak strikes and Lawler hitting him with a few stronger counters. IDK how Condit is keeping up the pace of these strikes he’s throwing. Lawler really gets rocked with like 30 seconds left in the round and Condit really tries to finish, but Lawler recovers a bit before the round ends. Lawler comes out swinging in the final round and gets the best of Condit early, but Condit comes back with some great combinations. With about a minute and a half left, Lawler just fucking unloads on Condit and somehow Condit survives some huge shots and they both end the fight swinging at each other WOW! One of the best endings to a fight I’ve ever seen. Lawler ends up retaining by split decision, a lot of people probably weren’t happy with that, but the fight was super close.

WON MOTY: Wrestle Kingdom 10 in Tokyo Dome - IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Kazuchika Okada (c) (w/ Gedo) vs Hiroshi Tanahashi
Okada’s entrance is fucking awesome, too bad Matt Striker doesn’t shut up during it. This starts off slow, but they don’t start with the usual chain wrestling, it’s right to strikes and counters as these two have had plenty of matches together at this point. They do end up slowing down with some chain wrestling after the different start, and Tanahashi focuses on Okada’s knee. Tanahashi ends up on the apron after avoiding a desperation Tombstone attempt, but then Okada catches him with a NICE springboard dropkick sending him to the floor in a nasty landing Okada throws Tanahashi over the first rail where no fans are and then takes a running start and hits a crossbody over the guardrail Tanahashi tries a couple comebacks, but Okada stuffs them and shows that he’s not feeling the leg work from earlier anymore. Tanahashi finally mounts a comeback with a sick dropkick back to the injured knee They have a really awesome exchange that sees Tanahashi hitting a dragon screw across the turnbuckle to hurt the other leg. Tanahashi hits another across the ropes, then a sling blade on the apron Tanahashi hits a HUGE frog splash crossbody to the outside, this shit is awesome. Okada barely makes it back before the 20 count, and Tanahashi keeps going after both legs. Okada ends up countering into his reverse neckbreaker, which also hurts Okada’s knee as well. Both guys get to their feet and have a great strike exchange with Okada gaining control with some amazing dropkicks Tanahashi hits a nice diving elbow, then signals for the Rainmaker, but Tanahashi counters and goes right back to the knee. Even though he keeps switching legs and going for both of them, Tanahashi’s leg work is so much fun to watch. Tanahashi goes for the end after a nice exchange, but misses the Frog Splash. Okada finally hits a Tombstone and nails him with a brutal Rainmaker, but Tanahashi kicks out Okada goes all out and hits his own Frog Splash, but it only gets a two, then in another nice counter exchange Tanahashi hits his own Rainmaker They recover and have another great counter exchange with Tanahashi hitting two Frog Splashes, one to the back and one normal but only gets TWO again, another amazing bit of action Tanahashi goes for a Frog Splash Crossbody, but Okada ends up catching him with this awesome dropkick in midair. Okada misses another Rainmaker, hits a German and then basically hits three successive Rainmakers for the win

WON WMOTY: One Night Only: Knockouts Knockdown - Queen of the Knockouts Gauntlet Qualify Match: Rebel vs Shelly Martinez
Shelly cuts this really chippy and happy promo about how she’s wearing Dia de los Muertos facepaint because her grandma died WHAT! Shelly’s tits and ass look like they’re about to come out in two seconds. Rebel does the splits and her ass looks amazing during her entrance. They literally just talk shit to each other for the first couple minutes, and nothing happens at all for like 2 minutes. Shelly is literally saying shit some cringy teen would say during a fight. They just do random shit that leads to nothing and won’t stop talking. I’m pretty sure Rebel just said “My vag hurts” The announcers are now talking shit about the match. I feel like the laws of gravity should not be allowing Shelly’s tits to stay in her top. Shelly ends up going for a suicide dive but gets caught up in the ropes so Rebel botches a roll up for the win fuck this

PWI MOTY: SummerSlam - AJ Styles vs John Cena
Watching Cena wrestle guys I never thought would be top guys in WWE is my favorite thing of the last decade. JBL Otunga and Ranallo calling this one. The crowd singing “John Cena sucks” to the tune of his song gets me every time Opening sequence is really fun, Styles is way too arrogant at the beginning and gets caught showboating. Cena’s offense and Styles’s bumping is so great during this beginning, and the crowd is mostly for Styles, so Cena gets a decent heat segment going, but Styles ends up catching him with a sick snap suplex on the apron That doesn’t last long as Cena ends up hitting probably the best back body drop in history and then a goddam dropkick Styles counters with some amazing strikes, but Cena starts his Five Moves of Doom combo, but STYLES FLIPS OUT OF THE AA, HITS A PELE AND THEN THE STYLES CLASH BUT ONLY GETS TWO That was such a beautiful sequence. They were busy replaying that and almost miss a desperation AA from Cena that only gets a two count. Cena goes for a Super AA, but Styles counters into a Torture Rack that he turns into a spin-out Powerbomb for another two count Cena ends up hitting some weird move that’s kinda like Big E’s Big Ending, I think he was going for a cutter, but it still looked pretty cool. Ranallo does such a good job leading Otunga and JBL into questions that performers should know and Otugna fucks them all up They have another awesome counter exchange where Styles ends up hitting his own an AA into his knee for two. Styles misses a springboard 450, and Cena gets another two count after a sit-out powerbomb. They each get a couple near falls after big moves, this shit is so great. Cena reverses a Phenomenal Forearm into an STF right in the center of the ring, but Styles counters into a Crossface, another great fucking sequence. They exchange submissions a couple more times, Styles with a calf crusher and Cena with another STF. Cena ends up catching Styles with a fucking Tornado DDT He goes up top and hits his leg drop bulldog, but everything just gets a two count. Cena goes for another Super AA, but Styles again counters with a Springboard Hurricanrana MAMA MIA, then the Phenomenal Forearm but again only gets two Styles stays in control, but Cena just absolutely MURDERS him with a clothesline, then again tries for the super AA, Styles tries to fight out, but Cena still hits it BUT ONLY GETS TWO HOLY SHIT Styles’ selling is on another level now. Cena looks on in disbelief as Styles struggles to his feet, goes for another AA, but Styles reverses into a Styles Clash and then hits a Phenomenal Forearm for the win You know Cena is one of the biggest stars of all time when he’s “passed the torch” to like 5 different people and it’s still a huge deal.

 

[Deezy]

Dave acting like Cena/AJ wasn't better than Okada/Tanahashi.

What a weeb....he probably boners over pixels

 

[Chris]

Yeah I thought the Tanahashi/Okada Invasion Attack match I watched from a couple years back was better than this one, and easily the best match that year, but I def liked Styles/Cena more than the one at Wrestle Kingdom 10

 

[Crippler]

I still got DIY/Revival #1

 

[Chris]

2017 WON FOTY: UFC 206: Holloway vs. Pettis - Featherweight Bout: Cub Swanson vs Doo Ho Choi
I really don’t think you can find two different fighters, just in terms of looks, than this Also during these entrances is a good time to explain this FUCKING STUPID ASS thing Meltzer does for his awards. They’re technically from December-November so this fight actually happens in December of 2016, but it’s the FOTY for 2017. I think this has been the only thing affected by this so far, but when I get to reviewing PPVs of the year, I’m pretty sure a few of them end up being in December of the year before bc Meltzer doesn’t know how years work. Anyway, this first round is really fun, lots of strikes landed by both guys, but Choi probably took the first round. Second round starts and Swanson rocks Choi early, but as Swanson is swinging trying to finish, Choi LANDS A SICK RIGHT HAND AND GOES FOR THE FINISH AND BOTH GUYS JUST START SWINGING UNTIL THEY DIE IN A CLINCH Swanson ends up taking Choi down, and a few submissions are teased, and they end up standing back up and there’s still two minutes left HOLY SHIT! Swanson starts having fun and goes for a fucking cartwheel kick Both guys trade some big shots until Swanson rocks Choi again, but Choi just eats so many shots as Swanson can’t finish before the end of the round. The crowd is going crazy at this point. They continue just trading huge shots at each other at the start of round three, featherweight really gotta put their heart in it for a knockout lmao. Choi ends up getting a takedown, but Swanson counters nicely to end up on top. They get back up and Swanson just unloads on Choi and gets a hip toss in to take him back down. They get back up pretty quick and just continue trading. Choi’s nose is fucked now as they show that they’re both tied with 97 significant shots with 30 seconds left Swanson goes crazy with shots though and ends up knocking Choi down and it was probably so closed to being stopped but the round ended Swanson ends up winning by unanimous decisions, really great fight. Choi is over as shit, this crowd gives him a bigger pop than Swanson.

PWI & WON MOTY: Wrestle Kingdom 11 in Tokyo Dome - IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Kazuchika Okada (c) (w/ Gedo) vs Kenny Omega (w/ The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson))
PWI gave the MOTY to NJPW SHIT HAS BECOME GLOBAL! They ripoff Terminator using Kenny Omega instead of Arnold in a little clip before his entrance That was cringy af but Omega comes out wearing this AWESOME half Terminator mask and the shotgun from the Judgment Day Okada’s entrance is awesome too, they’ve really done a good job making this Wrestle Kingdom NJPW’s WrestleMania, love seeing companies become bigger and bigger. I feel like I start most of the MOTY’s by saying great technical chain wrestling to start, but this shit is really amazing, everything logical and fluid, looks like they’re not playing pretend wrestling almost completely. Steve Corino is absolutely amazing on commentary, Kevin Kelly has at least improved since 1997. They each tease their finishers at one point, but after countering the Rainmaker, Omega just spits in Okada’s face They end up outside the ring and Okada hits this SWEET FUCKING RAIL-HUNG DDT Okada pulls out a little table from under the ring NJPW picking up the best parts of Western wrestling Okada hits his sweet running crossbody over the rail, and then takes full control back inside the ring. They have some nice counter exchanges, and Omega focuses on Okada’s lower back mostly. Steve Corino correctly calls a Kitchen Sink while Kevin Kelly tried to just call it a knee to the midsection Omega hits the Rise of the Terminator with some nice build-up for it, never a huge fan of guys giving names to moves that everyone does, but that looked cool at least. Omega hits this brutal missile dropkick right to the back of Okada’s head FUCK that had to be a concussion, you won’t convince me otherwise. Okada counters and basically hits an AA Omega’s selling is on another level here. Another really nice exchange where they tease some bigger moves before Okada hits his Reverse Neckbreaker. Omega ends up hitting a sick baseball slide sending Okada over the rail and THEN A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT OVER THE FUCKING RAIL ONTO OKADA As Okada tries to get back to the ring, Omega breaks up the count by hitting a double foot stomp onto the table Okada got early that he placed on Okada Omega hits a couple powerbombs for some nice false finishes. They tease Omega putting Okada through the table from the apron, but I think the ref threatens to DQ him so he yells “JESUS!” Okada tries to counter, but Omega hits a beautiful rolling fireman’s carry into a springboard moonsault Okada finally is able to counter with a nice dropkick sending Omega off the top rope, to the floor. They tease going through the table again, even with a One-Winged Angel, but then back in the ring, Okada FUCKING LAUNCHES OMEGA WITH A BACK BODY DROP THAT DESTROYS THE FUCKING TABLE HOLY SHIT Back in the ring, Okada signals for the Rainmaker, but Omega is able to counter. Both guys are selling lower back pain at this point and it’s really cool. Omega ends up hitting a FUCKING DRAGON SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST Okada is able to make another comeback after this great exchange, they keep teasing both finishers but neither are able to connect with one This is the loudest I’ve ever heard a Japanese crowd Okada reverses the One-Winged Angel and somehow counters into a Tombstone followed by a Rainmaker, but only gets two Okada goes for another Tombstone, but Omega reverses it to like a Package Tombstone WHAT They have this awesome strike exchange that ends with an Omega Shining Wizard for two, and they start going FAST AS ALL LOVING FUCK and Okada counters the One-Winged Angel into a FUCKING RAINMAKER He doesn’t make the cover bc he’s dead at this point, and he goes for another, but Omega starts hitting these sick fucking knees until Okada, who never let go of the wrist hits ANOTHER RAINMAKER He goes for another to finish, but Omega counters with a dropkick and does the Rainmaker setup but finishes with A BRUTAL FUCKING KNEE He goes for the One-Winged Angel again, but Okada counters into a jumping Tombstone, into a Rainmaker for the Win BRUH I need some water. Full disclosure, this is the first time I’ve ever seen this so that’s one of the few MOTY’s I hadn’t seen before I reviewed here, and all I’ve heard about is how this broke Meltzer’s scale and everything, so I was lowkey expecting this to be overrated, but HOLY FUCK it lived up to everything. Also lowkey Kevin Kelly was really good tonight, him and Corino easily the best English announcing I’ve heard for NJPW (Even JR and Striker, that still just felt like a dub almost), but it’s too much fun to shit on him so you won’t hear that ever again.

WON WMOTY: WrestleMania 33 - WWE Championship: Bray Wyatt (c) vs Randy Orton
Orton burning the spirit of Sister Abigail gotta be one of the cringiest things in the last few years. Wyatt comes out first even though he’s the champion Wyatt’s entrance is still cool af at least. Digging Wyatt’s HYDRA ring attire even though that’s probably not what he was going for. Orton goes right at Wyatt early, obviously trying to get this over with quickly. Wyatt takes control and he does his little Exorcism walk thing and the fuckery starts with the bugs being projected onto the ring Orton dips bc he’s scared of bugs I guess. Wyatt hits an apron DDT, and his offense is decent, but he keeps doing the corner taunt to make more worms project The crowd is dead now and the announcers attribute this to “shock” yeah okay. Orton catches Wyatt with a dropkick coming off the apron on the outside that barely connected, but Wyatt is able to hit Sister Abigail onto the barricade. Wyatt gets caught with an RKO pretty quickly, still on the outside. Orton goes for the punt, but Wyatt counters with a Sister Abigail attempt, only for Orton to counter into a backbreaker and then his rope-hung DDT. Orton goes for the RKO, but Wyatt counters into Sister Abigail, but only gets two. Wyatt summons more bugs that do nothing, and Orton ends up hitting an RKO out of nowhere for the win Without the bug fuckery this would have been a decent TV match at best, fuck this.

 

[Deezy]

Omega stole Triple H's Mania entrance against Sting

 

[Crippler]

You know, i've still never seen it.

 

[Chris]

Meltzer actually rated the dominion match later in the year 1/4* higher but this one still got MOTY as voted by the readers, probably just for significance, but I haven't seen the other one to say which was better

 

[Chris]

COMING UP NEXT!

I'm just gonna stick with the Observer awards for now bc I like lists, so I'm gonna to watch the best and worst PPVs of the year as voted on by the sheep known as Observer readers. I doubt I'll have a problem finding any of these, maybe some of the foreign ones, but we'll worry about that when we get there. Here's what it's looking like, I'll be watching them in airdate order:

1989
Worst: WWF WrestleMania V
Best: NWA-WCW Great American Bash '89
1990
Best: Wrestling Summit (AJPW/NJPW/WWF Japan supershow)
Worst: WCW Clash of the Champions XII
1991
Best: WCW WrestleWar '91
Worst: WCW Great American Bash '91
1992
Best: AJWPW WrestleMarinpiad IV
Worst: WCW Halloween Havoc '92
1993
Best: AJPWPW Dream Slam I
Worst: WCW Fall Brawl '93
1994
Best: NJPW Super J Cup
Worst: UWF Blackjack Brawl
1995
Worst: WCW Uncensored '95
Best: Bridge of Dreams (supershow with a lot of Japanese companies)
1996
Best: WAR Super J Cup: Second Stage (December '95 bc Meltzer doesn't know how years work)
Worst: WCW Uncensored '96
1997
Worst: nWo Souled Out
Best: WWF In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede
1998
Best: ECW Heat Wave '98
Worst: WCW Fall Brawl '98
1999
Best: ECW Anarchy Rulz '99
Worst: Heroes of Wrestling
2000
Best: CMLL Jucio Final
Worst: WCW Halloween Havoc '00
2001
Worst: WoW Unleashed
Best: WWF WrestleMania X-Seven
2002
Worst: WWE King of the Ring '02
Best: WWE SummerSlam '02
2003
Worst: WWE Backlash '03
Best: PRIDE Final Conflict '03
2004
Worst: WWE Great American Bash '04
Best: NOAH Departure '04
2005
Best: NOAH Destiny '05
Worst: WWE Great American Bash '05
2006
Worst: UFC 61: Bitter Enemies
Best: ROH Glory By Honor V: Night 2
2007
Worst: WWE December to Dismember '06 (Meltzer doesn't understand years)
Best: ROH Man Up
2008
Best: WWE WrestleMania XXIV
Worst: WWE Survivor Series '08
2009
Worst: TNA Victory Road '09
Best: DGUSA Open the Historic Gate
2010
Best: UFC 116: Lesnar vs Carwin
Worst: TNA Hardcore Justice '10
2011
Worst: TNA Victory Road '11
Best: WWE Money in the Bank '11
2012
Worst: UFC 149: Faber vs Barao
Best: NJPW King of Pro-Wrestling
2013
Best: NJPW G1 Climax 23: Day 4
Worst: WWE Battleground '13
2014
Best: NJPW G1 Climax 24: Day 7
Worst: WWE Battleground '14
2015
Best: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 9
Worst: AAA TripleMania XXIII
2016
Best: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 10
Worst: WWE WrestleMania 32
2017
Best: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 11
Worst: WWE BattleGround '17

 

[Chris]

Event: WWF WrestleMania V - The Mega-Powers Explode
Date: April 2, 1989 (Exactly 7 years before I blessed the Earth with my presence)
Venue: Atlantic City Convention Hall in Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

WWF World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Savage
WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Ultimate Warrior
WWF World Tag Team Champions: Demolition (Ax & Smash)
WWF Women’s Champion: Rockin’ Robin
WWF World Martial Arts Champion: Antonio Inoki
Million Dollar Champion: Ted DiBiase

Rockin’ Robyn sings “America the Beautiful” bc she’s def not defending her title tonight even though there’s like 14 matches happening King Haku gets carried to the ring for the first match with Bobby Heenan out in front. Heenan asks the crowd to bow for Haku, and gets some decent heat.

Hercules vs King Haku (w/ Bobby Heenan)
Haku attacks Hercules from behind to start, but Hercules takes control early. At least the crowd is super loud, but it’s still the first match. Hercules goes after Heenan for literally no reason, so Haku takes control, but doesn’t do near enough strikes. Donald Trump is in the first row, I wonder how many times that gets pointed out. Haku works a week ass bearhug forever, then does some more boring stuff. He threatens to chop the ref at one point Hercules make a comeback after dodging a crossbody, but then gets “caught” with a kick off the top rope (it didn’t connect), only to then hit a bridging back suplex for the win. Thank god they didn’t go with any double pin nonsense there since Hercules obviously got his shoulder up in time and Haku’s stayed down. Shit match though, barely should have belong on TV at the time.

Gene Okerlund interviews The Rockers backstage and they cut a generic promo for their match up next. Twin Towers don’t even get an entrance smh.

The Rockers (Marty Jannetty & Shawn Michaels) vs The Twin Towers (Akeem & Big Boss Man) (w/ Slick)
Typical speed vs power tag team match, Rockers look really good here, but the Towers selling is terrible, it’s like they don’t know if they should sell to make the match better or shouldn’t bc they’re so big. Twin Towers take control after the Rockers had it for the opening moments, and the Rockers sell like they’re dying, but this offense is boring af. Michaels has a really fun hot tag for a bit until Akeem just MURDERS him with a clothesline. The Rockers try to hit a double missile dropkick on Boss Man, but only Jannetty hits. Akeem ends up getting the pin after all four men end up in the ring for a bit and he hits Air Africa on Michaels. Okay match, had promise, but mostly meh.

It instantly cuts to Tony fuckin’ Schiavone interviewing Ted DiBiase with his newly introduced Million Dollar Championship and Virgil. DiBiase says he’s excited bc people from his social class are going to be here tonight, people with CLOUT!

DiBiase gets a jobber entrance and shakes hands with Trump before Beefcake comes out.

Brutus Beefcake vs Ted DiBiase (w/ Virgil)
This feels like a super typical face vs heel 80s match, a lot of Beefcake getting his shit in and DiBiase taking breaks on the outside. It takes Virgil interference for DiBiase to take control. I feel like these two have almost the same moveset. DiBiase gets some nice heat, but I’m really not feeling this beatdown very much. Beefcake makes a comeback, but both guys end up down after a double clothesline. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream, but Beefcake gets the ropes. Forgot how biased Gorilla was for faces. Beefcake locks in a sleeper, but goes after Virgil instead. Oh shit just saw Vince sitting at ringside. Both men end up getting counted out while brawling out of the ring, cool. They keep brawling after, and Beefcake takes out both Virgil and DiBiase, but they escape before Beefcake can cut any hair.

We get a clip of Lord Alfred Hayes at the WrestleMania brunch where he tries to interview the Bushwackers while they stuff their face with food wearing these hilarious striped polos that I’d never expect them to have on.

The Bushwhackers (Butch & Luke) vs The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques & Raymond Rougeau) (w/ Jimmy Hart)
Bushwhackers take Hart’s coat and try to rip it, but the Rougeaus save it even though Hart still gets sandwiched between the Bushwhackers. The ref doesn’t have any idea what’s going on, he fucked up some spot already. We get some okay wrestling from the Rougeaus for now, but the ref gets distracted by Jimmy Hart which allows the Bushwhackers to hit the battering ram and some week double gutbuster for the win. TRASH! Rougeaus deserve better.

Sean Mooney tries to interview the winners afterwards, but he just gets licked by both men.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t get any entrance music but THE FUCKING BLUE BLAZER DOES WHAT!

The Blue Blazer vs Mr. Perfect
Owen This is pretty fun for the six minutes it gets. Perfect’s selling is Owen clearly hates wearing this mask, but his offense is way more fun than Perfect’s here, probably why they have Perfect bumping around like a god most of the time until he reverses and hits a Perfect-Plex for the win. Fucking 10 years later this stupid ass gimmick kills Owen.

Jesse Ventura gets Howard Finkel to introduce him for some reason and he panders to the crowd, and they cheer for him as Gorilla make fun of him.

Clip of Lord Alfred Hayes at a 5K run that happened yesterday, and fucking Mr. Fuji shows up in his regular manager attire saying he’s gonna win They skip to the end as Fuji finishes and says he’s in great shape obviously so him and the Powers of Pain are winning at WrestleMania.

Fink introduces Run DMC for the WrestleMania Rap

Video replay from Fuji turning on Demolition at Survivor Series ‘88 and joining with The Powers of Pain. Demolition gets interviewed by Mean Gene and they say they’re going to destroy the PoP and Fuji.

3-on-2 Handicap match for the WWF World Tag Team Championship: Demolition (Ax & Smash) (c) vs Mr Fuji & The Powers of Pain (The Barbarian & The Warlord)
Lol this is so bad. Demolition are alright with their brawling, but PoP are fucking ASS and they’re in control for most of this. Fuji’s offense is hilarious, but lowkey better than anything Warlord or Barbarian are doing. After like 10 fucking minutes, Fuji goes for the salt spot, but misses and hits one of his guys, so Demolition hits Demolition Decapitation on him for the win to a pretty nice pop. Demolition’s theme song still rules.

Tony Schiavone tries to interview Macho Man Randy Savage, but he’s going nuts saying “NO INTERVIEWS HULK HOGAN I’M READY!”

After Dino Bravo makes his entrance and the next match is ready to start, Howard Finkel for some reason introduces the returning Jimmy Snuka, so he comes in the ring and does his taunt and then just leaves as the match starts

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs Ronnie Garvin
This gets like three minutes, and it’s really just a Bravo showcase though Garvin gets more offense than I expected. Bravo basically hits a side suplex out of nowhere for the win. Garvin attacks Bravo and Frenchy after the match bc he’s a sore loser face and does the Garvin Stomp to Frenchy.

The Brainbusters (Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard) (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs Strike Force (Rick Martel & Tito Santana)
This is a lot of fun at first, solid shit by all four men. Strike Force manages to lock in Figure-4s on both men at one point. Strike Force is in full control until Santana accidentally hits Martel with the Flying Forearm. Even though there was a tag, the ref is letting Santana stay in. Brainbusters isolate Santana for a bit, great double team stuff. He fights off both guys and tries to tag Martel who’s still selling the forearm, but Martel refuses to tag. This turns into a straight angle match now as Martel walks out to some heat. Even though Santana has ben in the ring for over half the match, the Brainbusters are still just doing an iso beatdown instead of going for the finish, so this is goes on a little too long before they hit the double team Spike Piledriver for the win.

Mean Gene is back with Martel demanding an answer and Martel says he’s tired of carrying around Santana, so Strike Force is DONE!

Howard Finkel introduces the returning Roddy Piper for Piper’s Pip, but Brother Love fucking comes out wearing a kilt He imitates Piper as “Brother Rodney” for a bit before Morton Downey, Jr. comes down as the actual guest smoking a cig as Gorilla says “always puffing on that weed isn’t he?” Downey clowns Love until Fink introduces Piper again and he actually comes out this time. Piper says “Hey stupid” and Love turns around Downey flicks a cig on Love as Piper is talking shit to him and no one acknowledges it this dude has had at least 5 since he came down to the ring. After Piper shits on Love for like 5 minutes he rips off his kilt and he goes running back in his underwear. He turns his attention to Downey now who I assume has started his second pack of cigarettes. Piper asks him to not blow smoke in his face, but he keeps doing it so Piper take a fire extinguisher to him Shit was way better once they got rid of Brother Love, but yeah way too long of a segment.

Mean Gene leads us into a sneak peak of No Holds Barred which is Hulk Hogan’s first starring role in a major film, and first role since Rocky III. Fuckin’ ZEUS!

Sean Mooney interviews Donald Trump for like 2 seconds, but then Jesse Ventura cuts this AWESOME promo about Hogan stepping onto his turf in Hollywood, he says if Hogan wants a job in Hollywood, he can drive Ventura’s limo

Highlights of the Hogan/Savage feud are shown, then Hogan cuts a great promo with Mean Gene, shit’s got me hype af. He says Trump is worried that when the Mega-Powers explode that the seismic activity might level Trump Plaza

Special Guest Referee Big John Studd: Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs Jake Roberts (w/ Damian)
So Andre is terrified of snakes, that means that’s going to be what most of this match is about. Andre starts by slamming Roberts into an already exposed turnbuckle pad, but Studd doesn’t notice shit This is just Andre slowly doing his usual offense on Roberts, and it’s pretty boring since Andre can’t move very fast at all at this point. Roberts makes a comeback, and Andre gts caught in the ropes, so Roberts signals for Damian, but Studd stops him. Gorilla’s favoritism with faces is at it’s fucking worst here, just terrible logic. It’s hard for me to believe Roberts’s strikes do this much damage to Andre, but it’s whatever. This goes to shit as Ted DiBiase comes out and tries to steal Damian, but Roberts chases him and takes the snake back. Meanwhile, Andre attacks Big John Studd for no reason, but Roberts makes the save with Damian and gets the win by DQ.

Sean Mooney is in the nosebleeds interviewing fans, they just got this dude running around everywhere.

Tony Schiavone interviews Sensational Sherri who talks shit about Rockin’ Robyn’s singing from earlier and says she’s gonna take the title back LOL bitch you bout to be a manager for the rest of your career. She talks shit to Elizabeth too FORESHADOWING

Greg Valentine & The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart & Jim Neidhart)
Pretty fun, about what you’d expect. Hart carries this with both his offense and selling. They isolate Bret, and Honky hits the Shake, Rattle, and Roll, but doesn’t cover bc he tags in Valentine instead who can’t lock on his Figure-4, but they stay in control of Hart. Hart finally makes the tag, but they didn’t even work it, it just kinda came out of nowhere. Jimmy Hart tries to get involved, but Neidhart chases him away and tosses his megaphone to Hart who hits Honky with it while Valentine was distracting the ref for the win. Should have been better, but it was alright.

Replay of the posedown from the Royal Rumble that sets up the Rude/Warrior match next.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan)
Rude has the IC title imprinted on his tights Rude tries to take a cheap shot, but the hits the fucking belt Warrior hadn’t taken off yet and hurts his leg All Warrior for the most part, but Rude uses cheap tactics for short bursts of control too before we go back to Warrior on offense, which is good bc it’s not like he would have sold shit. Warrior bites Rude at one point so Ventura asks Monsoon what cause is there for that and this dude responds “Maybe hunger” Rude makes a comeback and hits a sick spike piledriver for a two count. Rude tries to do his taunt, but sells his back Warrior does this cool comeback where he does his rope taunt while in a hold and then breaks it. Warrior does a backbreaker, and goes to pick Rude back up but loses his balance and almost sends Rude out of the ring through the ropes Rude ends up on the apron after a clothesline, but as Warrior tries to suplex him back over, Heenan grabs Warrior’s legs to trip him and holds them for Rude to get the three count even though Warrior’s feet were under the rope. Warrior does the gorilla slam on Heenan after the match and Gorilla says Heenan still has to wrestle tonight WHAT!

Bad News Brown vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan
This is a Duggan yelling “HOOOOO!” showcase for 4 minutes so fuck this. Shitty brawling until Brown misses the Ghetto Blaster, so Duggan hits a 3-point Stance Clothesline, so Brown gets a chair and Duggan gets his 2x4, and they both swing at each other with them and get double DQ’d Duggan taunts with his 2x4 and says HOOOO with the crowd after he takes out Brown.

Okerlund interviews The Red Rooster who has a match against Bobby fuckin Heenan next

Bobby Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs The Red Rooster
Heenan’s ring gear Rooster wins in 30 seconds after Heenan runs into the corner and he gets rolled up. Terry Taylor 1-0 at WrestleMania so far. Brawler attacks him after and leaves with Heenan.

Mean Gene interviews Elizabeth who says she’ll be in a neutral corner tonight as she supports both Hogan and Savage. They then cut to Tony Schiavone who says the locker rooms are empty bc all the wrestlers left to watch the main event. Sean Mooney takes a quick fan poll, the adults say Savage, kids say Hogan. Savage comes out first even though he’s the champion, but Corey Graves gave a good excuse at that Greatest Royal Rumble show for this...it’s champions discretion who comes out first, so I guess I’ll accept that. Elizabeth is out next, still using Macho Man’s theme song even though she’s coming out separately.

WWF World Heavyweight Championship (w/ Miss Elizabeth in a neutral corner): Randy Savage (c) vs Hulk Hogan
Savage is playing this crazy jealous guy so well. Hogan obviously uses his power to start this, and Savage mostly tries to avoid him, playing it smart. It takes awhile for this really gets started, as Savage keeps avoiding Hogan, even hiding behind Elizabeth. Once the actual wrestling starts, it’s really fun. Each guy mostly just takes turns doing their usual stuff, but this is easily the best match of the night so far just because it’s paced to go longer than 8 minutes and there’s some psychology involved. Hogan starts fighting a little dirty too since he gets tired of Savage pulling his hair and shit. Hogan gets a cut above his eye and starts bleeding as Savage takes control again. Savage stuffs a few of Hogan’s comebacks before Hogan sends him outside the ring. Savage threatens Elizabeth as she checks on him and then goes back to Hogan’s eye, but Hogan counters and goes to ram Savage into the post, but Elizabeth tries to stop him only for Savage to send Hogan into the post instead. Earl Hebner sends Elizabeth to the back THANK GOD! Savage takes full control now, hitting a diving axe handle to Hogan on the outside and then continuing the beatdown on the inside as the crowd tries to will Hogan back into it. Hogan hits the Diving Elbow Drop, but Hogan kicks at two and the crowd goes nuts as Hogan starts Hulking Up. Hogan hits the Boot/Leg Drop combo for the win. Easily best match of the night, but still kinda disappointing as I expected better.

The show ends with Hogan doing his usual taunts, just like all the other WrestleManias so far have ended.

 

[Deezy]

anyone else not seeing the emojis?

 

[Cwalker]

Owen vs Mr Perfect only getting 6 minutes

 

[Chris]

anyone else not seeing the emojis?

It looked fine on my computer but only the marking out one is showing up on mobile, only other one I used was the lmao one I think. I took out a couple side eye ones bc they weren't showing up even on my computer.

 

[Chris]

Event: The Great American Bash - The Glory Days
Date: July 23, 1989
Venue: Baltimore Arena in Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Bob Caudle & Jim Ross

NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Ric Flair
NWA United States Heavyweight Champion: Lex Luger
NWA World Tag Team Champions: The Fabulous Freebirds (Jimmy Garvin & Michael Hayes)
NWA World Television Champion: Sting
NWA United States Tag Team Champions: Vacant

King of the Hill Two-Ring Battle Royal for $50,000: Bill Irwin vs Brian Pillman vs Dan Spivey vs Eddie Gilbert vs Kevin Sullivan vs Mike Rotunda vs Ranger Ross vs Rick Steiner vs Ron Simmons vs Scott Hall vs Scott Steiner vs Sid Vicious vs “Dr. Death” Steve Williams vs Terry Gordy
So there’s two rings because of the War Games match later. Everyone starts in one ring and you have to then be thrown over to the second ring, then you get fully eliminated when you get thrown over the top rope. The two men in each ring that survive are then supposed to wrestle. Once the action gets over to the second ring and you have basically two battle royals going on, this gets pretty fun. Simmons is the first guy eliminated completely when Ross throws him over the top rope in the second ring. It skips forward a bit bc of technical difficulties, and the second ring is pretty full now, but Pillman and Vicious are the last two in ring one. Spivey just starts powerbombing people on their necks. Vicious ducks as Pillman goes flying over the top rope, so Vicious is the winner of ring one. Rotunda, Williams, and Spivey are left in ring two until Williams knocks out Rotunda after a nice sequence. Vicious is just chilling lol Rotunda interferes so Spivey clotheslines Williams out. Spivey and Vicious are the last two left, but their manager Theodore motherfuckin’ Long comes out and calls the crowd dumb for thinking he’d let his team fight each other so they’re just gonna split the $50k

Gordon Solie interviews Teddy Long backstage afterwards and he says The Skyscrapers are ready for anyone, scumbag Teddy is amazing.

Bill Irwin vs Brian Pillman
Solid Pillman showcase mostly. This is well before his ankle injury so he’s still “Flyin” around the ring and shows some nice technical stuff too. Irwin gets on offense and it’s alright, best part is him talking shit during all of it though. Irwin’s heat segment last a little long, but it allows for a really fun comeback by Pillman. He misses an ugly driving dropkick, but Irwin’s offense is just kicks to the head and punches. Finally he does something else where he throws all the way over to the second ring, but as the ref is admonishing Irwin, Pillman gets on the second ring’s top rope and hits a crossbody from one ring to another for the win. Decent match, cool finish.

Gordon Solie is backstage with Paul E. Dangerously who says he doesn’t care if he wins his Tuxedo Match against Jim Cornette later. He brings up Cornette’s scaffold fall from like ‘86 and says that’s what he’s targeting Great early Dangerously promo too bad it’s for a fuckin’ Tuxedo match.

Dynamic Dudes come out and throw a frisbee around with some little kid in the crowd Skyscrapers get introduced as being from Metropolis.

The Dynamic Dudes (Johnny Ace & Shane Douglas) vs The Skyscrapers (Dan Spivey & Sid Vicious) (w/ Theodore Long)
Crowd starts a “peanuthead” for Long They wrestle this like a power vs speed thing only the problem is the Dudes aren’t the high flyers they’re pretending to be here and Vicious is green as shit. The Dudes’ double team is sloppy af, but still pretty fun to watch even if Spivey isn’t selling at all. Vicious is being pretty protected here, staying on the apron most of the time, but the crowd starts chanting “we want Sid!” Vicious gets tagged in finally and he’s over as fuck, but wow he really is ass right now. Dudes are selling really well, especially for Spivey who’s offense is better looking. Douglas gets knocked out of the ring and Long starts hitting some of the weakest kicks I’ve ever seen, JR calls them taps but Douglas is selling them like regular shots Vicious gets tagged in for the second time and does the most basic shit that Douglas sells amazingly before tagging back out after a minute or so All four men end up in the ring after a hot tag to Ace and this is sloppy as fuck. Spivey hits a terrible powerbomb on Ace for the win. Vicious got like 2 minutes of ring time LOL

Gordon Solie interview Jim Cornette who responds to Dangerously with a great promo as well, peak Cornette since this is the era he’s perpetually stuck in, oddly a good face as well, but mostly just bc Dangerously is such a good heel.

Dangerously comes out with a tennis racket and big ass cell phone, Cornette is looking fly af coming out to the Midnight Express theme to a huge pop.

Tuxedo Match: Jim Cornette vs Paul E. Dangerously
Dangerously does a powder spot 30 seconds into the match Lowkey the story of Dangerously going after Cornette’s knee is awesome, but it barely makes this better bc it’s still two grown men stripping each other. Cornette’s selling is fucking hilarious. This is probably the hottest the crowd has been so far, and it’s gotta be the best tuxedo match I’ve ever seen, one of the best manager vs manager matches as well. All that said it’s still not good, just surprisingly not terrible and better than that last tag match honestly. Cornette fucking HULKS UP and hits Dangerously so hard he almost does a backflip Bob Caudle is way too excited at seeing skin in this match. Dangerously loses his shirt and tries to use powder again, but Cornette kicks it into his face and wins the match as Dangerously runs up the ramp in some blue briefs.

Gordon Solie interviews Gary Hart who says The Great Muta will beat Sting bc he’s undefeated and is currently calling onto the powers of the mystic orient into his being.

The Steiners come out to the ring with like a fucking bloodhound lol

Texas Tornado Tag Team Match: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner) (w/ Missy Hyatt) vs The Varsity Club (Kevin Sullivan & Mike Rotunda)
This starts just going all out, it only lasts 4 minutes or so but they do so much during the small amount of time. Sullivan and Rick are just hitting each other with everything they can find outside as Scott and Rotunda are in the ring. All four men end up in the ring and the Steiners start hitting a lot of suplex and slams. This ref looks STRESSED trying to keep up with this Steiners win after Scott hits a crossbody on Sullivan as he tried to slam Rick so both men cover Sullivan. I wanted at least 3 more minutes, that was some good shit.

Gordon Solie interviews Sting who says he has a lot of respect for Muta so he’s going to keep this short and stay calm and serious. He walks off hyped af as Gilbert says he’s going to keep Gary Hart out of the picture.

NWA World Television Championship: Sting (c) (w/ Eddie Gilbert) vs The Great Muta (w/ Gary Hart)
FACEPAINT WAR Sting starts off by diving from one ring to the other and this starts out fast-paced af with both men getting some solid shit in. Muta takes control with his ninja offense as it’s called in the 80s. The pace finally slows down a little as Muta locks on a sleeper, but it doesn’t take too long before they’re both going at it fast paced af again. Both men have plenty of counters, but Muta stays in control for the most part, which lets the crowd go nuts for Sting’s short bursts of offense. Muta misses a corner elbow and Sting starts making a huge comeback finally, and Muta tries to mist him but sprays it right in Nick Patrick’s face GREAT SPOT Sting barely ducked in time. Sting misses a Stinger Splash and Muta hits a moonsault, but referee Tommy Young comes in to make the count to late so Sting kicks out. Sting then hits a back suplex and guess what BOTH SHOULDERS WERE FUCKING DOWN UGH HATE THAT SPOT! They announce Sting as the winner, but I think this gets overturned and the title gets vacated after or something if my 1989 history is correct. Muta leaves with the belt bc him and Hart think they won and the crowd chants “bullshit!” Really good match though even with that dumbass finish. On the replay it’s pretty clear that neither man’s shoulders were down so the pin shouldn't have even counted.

Gordon Solie interviews Lex Luger and says that the match tonight will not be No DQ since he’s the champ so he’s refusing to wrestle unless that stipulation is waived.

Steamboat gets carried out on some platform thing and he has a komodo dragon with him. Luger was posing on a spinning platform during his entrance, but it gets stuck like halfway I almost didn’t notice that. Luger tells Steamboat that if he doesn’t waive the no DQ stipulation then he doesn’t get his title shot, so Steamboat obviously waives it.

NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Lex Luger (c) vs Ricky Steamboat
89 Steamboat is just something else He starts out going right at Luger, really fun stuff for awhile until he gets caught with a nice knee by Luger. Luger is still a little green, but he’s got the power moves and cocky heel act down, and Steamboat’s selling makes him look even stronger. Luger hits Steamboat with three huge clotheslines and the third time Steamboat gets up and just swings at nothing until he falls back down Steamboat makes a nice comeback as Luger goes flying over the ropes after missing a clothesline. This goes back and forth and the crowd is hot af as Steamboat sends Luger off the top rope, but then Luger catches Steamboat and throws him from one ring to the other. Luger goes and gets a chair, but Steamboat catches him with a slingshot into the corner, then uses the chair so he gets DQ’d wow Luger is a fuckin’ genius. Steamboat kills Luger with the chair after the match as the crowd goes nuts. Steamboat chases Luger down the ramp with the chair. Another screwy finish, but that match was so good that I’m not even upset with that one.

The Fabulous Freebirds and Samoan Swat team cut a promo about the WarGames match coming up, well the Freebirds do while the Samoans stand there doing weird shit with their tongues and biting each other. Hayes says “WAR! What is it good for”

The other team cuts another generic promo now, Dr. Death should really talk less. Road Warriors should talk more.

SST coming out to “Badstreet” with the Freebirds is hilarious Road Warriors come out on bikes with some other bikers. The heel eam wins the coin toss so they’ll have the man advantage.

WarGames Match: The Fabulous Freebirds (Jimmy Garvin, Michael Hayes & Terry Gordy) & The Samoan Swat Team (Fatu & Samu) (w/ Paul E. Dangerously) vs The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton & Stan Lane), The Road Warriors (Animal & Hawk), & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams (w/ Jim Cornette & Paul Ellering)
Eaton and Garvin start off for the first five minutes. Solid stuff, they just beatdown each other mostly, using the cage and stuff. If the faces would have started anyone other than Eaton I would have been so mad. Hayes talks shit to Eaton through the cage, calling him scum. Eaton locks on a boston crab, but Terry Gordy is in next and they just beatdown Eaton for the next two minutes until Dr. Death comes in to even up the odds and this really picks up now Williams and Gordy have this awesome brawl where Williams ends up pressing Gordy into the roof of the cage Samu comes in next and he heels have control again as they have a man advantage. Animal comes out next and holy shit this is so much fun They’re just sloppy brawling and killing each other throughout both rings and I love it. Fatu is out next, I wonder how many best/worst PPVs Rikishi will be on lol. Stan Lane is second to last for the faces, and Hayes clarifies with Dangerously on the outside that he actually has to go in the match These Gordy/Williams brawls are by far the best part of the match. Midnight Express are doing some decent double team stuff throughout all the cage brawling. Hayes comes out last for the heels and starts hitting DDTs on everyone. Hawk comes in to clean house and THE WARGAMES HAVE BEGUN All 10 men are just brawling in both rings now, so great Dangerously tries to fit his big ass cellphone through the cage but it’s too big Hawk end sup hitting a neckbreaker, and then locks the hangman choke on Garvin who submits to end this amazing WarGames match I think I overrate most of the WarGames match but they’re just the most perfect of clusterfucks until you get to like 93 or so when they’re all shity after that for the most part.

After the match the heels isolate Animal in the cage, but Hawk fuckin’ rips the door open to run them off and make the save.

Gordon Solie interviews weird face ‘89 Ric Flair that only worked bc Funk was one of the GOAT heels during this feud. Flair’s only a 6-time champion here, damn Naitch you still got 10 more to go.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ric Flair (c) vs Terry Funk (w/ Gary Hart)
They start brawling out of the ring and oh man Flair is on fire, 1989 was one of his best years for sure. Funk tries to by time outside, but Flair meets him every time. Funk looks fucking insane and his brawling is perfect, and Flair plays the out for revenge champ really well. Both guys are bumping around like crazy, this shit is awesome. Flair teases suplexing Funk from the apron to the floor, but both men end up falling off. They’re chopping the SHIT out of each other. Funk focuses on Flair’s previously injured neck, goes for a piledriver, but Flair back drops him OUT OF THE RING I guess that was a judgment call by the ref bc that was over the top rope lol Flair focuses on Funk’s neck when he’s in control as well with some sick knee drops to the back of the head and a two piledrivers that Funk sells like his neck is broken Funk literally crawls back down the aisle but Flair meets him and keeps getting really satisfying revenge for his neck injury. Flair locks on the Figure-4 with literally no leg work prior, but Gary Hart interferes and Funk hits Flair in the face with a goddamn branding iron. Flair is bleeding a shit ton now and Funk hits a sick looking piledriver, but Flair is able to get his foot under the ropes. Funk exposes the concrete under the ring pad and threatens to piledrive Flair onto it, but Flair gets out of it and he’s pouring blood now. Funk is able to take control back, focusing on the neck still with a lot of neckbreakers telling Flair to give up foreshadowing their “I Quit” match that’s even better than this one Funk tries to use the branding iron again, but Flair takes it and hits Funk in the face with it while Hart had referee Tommy Young distracted. Funk’s bleeding now too as Flair just beats him down. Tommy Young basically begs Flair to control himself bc he doesn’t want to disqualify him, but Funk takes advantage and starts applying the Spinning Toe Hold, but Flair reverses and goes for a Figure-4 only for Funk to reverse into a small package, but Flair rolls it over and gets the pin as JR loses his voice a little

Flair goes after Gary Hart, but The Great Muta runs down and mists Flair. Funk and Muta beatdown Flair as the crowd chants “We Want Sting!” and Sting FINALLY comes back and him and Flair clear the ring, I think this sets up the Halloween Havoc main event tag team match later this year Sting and Flair high five and the crowd goes crazy seeing them on the same side and then GO BACK OUTSIDE AND ALL FOUR MEN BRAWL UP THE ENTRANCE RAMP JR announces that the Television Championship has been held up after what happened earlier but then THEY START BRAWLING AGAIN THE ANNOUNCERS AGAIN! JR barely has a voice left and they just keep brawling through the arena. Flair makes his way back to JR and he says “I haven’t said thank you in 10 years” and then thanks Sting He says him and Funk have just gotten started and he can’t wait to do it again soon as Sting says “tell ‘em Ric” and they trade woo’s.

 

[Chris]

Event: Wrestling Summit
Date: August 13, 1990
Venue: Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 53,742
Commentators: IDK It’s in Japanese

Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion: Stan Hansen
World Tag Team Champions: Vacant
World Junior Heavyweight Champion: Masanobu Fuchi
All Asia Tag Team Champions: Vacant
All Asia Heavyweight Champion: Kintaro Ohki

IWGP World Heavyweight Champion: Big Van Vader
IWGP Tag Team Champions: Keiji Mutoh & Masahiro Chono
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion: Jushin Thunder Liger

WWF World Heavyweight Champion: The Ultimate Warrior
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Mr. Perfect
WWF World Tag Team Champions: Demolition (Ax, Crush, & Smash)
Million Dollar Champion: Ted DiBiase

Kenta Kobashi and Masanobu Fuchi are out first and they come out to “Danger Zone” Howard Finkel is the ring announcer, but we have the original Nippon TV Japanese commentary for this one, and since Nippon is AJPW’s TV channel, the two NJPW matches don’t get broadcast so no Liger It’s basically an AJPW/WWF supershow.

Kenta Kobashi & Masanobu Fuchi vs Jimmy Snuka & Tito Santana
Bruh Shane McMahon is reffing this lol Kobashi is super young and not near as great as he becomes years later, but him and Santana fuckin’ kill it when they’re in the ring together, which is a decent amount of the match thankfully. The first time Snuka gets involved, he tries to break up a pin, but ends up hitting Santana Fuchi tries to jump over Snuka on a rebound, but Snuka tries to get up too soon and trips him they work it though, so it’s decent still. Santana gets a fun hot tag and takes out both guys with a Flying Forearm before tagging in Snuka for a Superfly Splash. Solid opener, crowd was hot for everyone.

Bret Hart vs Tiger Mask
Pretty good technical exchange to start, Tiger Mask focuses mainly on the arm. Nice burst of action with Tiger Mask teasing a dive to the outside, but he ends up going right back to the arm. Hart is able to counter a crossbody into a chinlock and I think this is gonna be one of those rest holds with short exchanges in between matches. Yeah Tiger goes right back to the arm, and this feels like it’s just stuck at the beginning and never really got started. The action in between the rest holds is definitely fun, just too few and far between. Tiger hits a dive to the outside, and the crowd is still decently hot. He goes right back to the arm again, at least he’s consistent. Hart acts like he tweaked his knee after a leapfrog attempt, but then cheap shots Tiger Mask FAKER! The match finally has some heat to it so it picks up now, the crowd is booing the sit out of Hart bc he’s playing a decent heel. There’s been at least 6 Bret Hart chinlocks during this match. They have a really fun counter exchange late in the match and right when this shit really starts getting fun the bell rings because the 20-minutes are up IDK why but Hart’s theme plays even though it’s a draw lol

Big Boss Man vs Jake Roberts (w/ Damian)
I guess Vince wanted to show Japan how to do gimmicks properly. This is solid, definitely better than I expected. Boss Man wrestles a great heel match, and Roberts’s methodical ring work is really fun to watch. Boss Man’s offense drags a little as it’s mostly just a beatdown on Roberts, but Roberts sells pretty well. Some American fans that made the trip start a “Boss Man sucks” chant I bet Meltzer’s mark ass is with them. Boss Man is definitely running out of offense to do now, this probably should have been shortened a couple minutes or so. Roberts finally makes a comeback after Boss Man misses a really shitty splash off the top rope lol Fun comeback, and Roberts finishes it off with a DDT for the win. Japanese announcers got NUTS or the DDT!

After the match, Roberts places Damian on Boss Man who doesn’t even react bc he’s selling the DDT like death.

Jumbo Tsuruta & King Haku vs Mr. Perfect & Rick Martel
All four men start off brawling in this one, it’s god stuff. PERFECT IS SELLING LIKE A FUCKING GOD Tsuruta/Perfect fucking rules, Haku’s strikes look even deadly af, Tsuruta is super over, this match is just all around fun. Perfect and Martel are able to isolate Haku for a bit until the crowd starts chanting for Tsuruta. Tsuruta breaks up a Boston Crab attempt by Martel, so Perfect locks on an Abdominal Stretch looking right at Tsuruta so he can’t do the same Haku finally makes the tag and Tsuruta cleans house. Some really fun brawling by all four men until Tsuruta catches Martel with a snap back suplex for the win.

Genichiro Tenryu vs Randy Savage (w/ Sensational Sherri)
Savage already generating so much heat, Sherri is talking shit to all the fans at ringside, this is great. Savage toys with Tenryu at first, but gets caught an Tenryu goes nuts with some chops as the crowd goes wild. Savage capitalizes on Sherri’s distraction and tries to slow down the match, but Tenryu back drops him OVER THE TOP ROPE Sherri straight up attacks Tenryu outside the ring, but I guess she isn’t disqualified since she’s a woman, but Savage ends up catching Tenryu with a flying knee sending him over the rail. The ref tries to warn Savage about closed fists, so Savage just shoves the fuck out of him Savage stays in control as Sherri keeps getting involved every time the ref looks away, the crowd has got to be so pissed lol. Savage hits all his usual stuff, then lands a Diving Elbow Drop, but Tenryu KICKS OUT! Savage hits a diving crossbody, but tweaks his knee so as he slowly gets up, Tenryu catches him with an Enzuguri and then hits a Powerbomb for the win.

A Japanese announcer tries to interview Ultimate Warrior, but he just does his yells and taunts for like a full minute

WWF World Heavyweight Championship: The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs Ted DiBiase
DiBiase attacks Warrior during his entrance, but Warrior quickly recovers and sends him out of the ring so he can taunt. This is really just a Warrior showcase, one of his first title defenses I’d assume, but he doesn’t sell shit for the most part, like when DiBiase is on offense he kinda just lays there and takes strikes without acting like they hurt at all. Warrior starts his comeback after no-selling a piledriver, then hits a running splash for the win after almost 7 minutes or so.

Demolition’s theme still goes hard af They’re the WWF tag champions here, but this is a nontitle match. They interview Giant Baba and Andre before they come out. I can’t believe they put two people that can’t walk on the same team lol

Andre the Giant & Giant Baba vs Demolition (Ax & Smash)
Definitely just a special attraction match bc Andre and Baba teaming is cool af, or at least would have been 10 years prior. Demolition look small af compared though, which is insane. This is probably the loudest the crowd’s been all night. Mostly just strikes, Andre and Baba don’t sell anything and Smash is acting like each strike murders him and the crowd loves it. Andre misses a butt drop, and Demolition make some really nice quick tags to work over Andre. Andre kinda easily makes the tag to Baba still, and Demolition try to isolate him in the corner, but he fights out of it in slow motion and hits a swinging neckbreaker which is the first wrestling move of the match lol All four men end up in the ring and Baba/Andre end up pinning Smash even though Ax was the legal man after a bit boot from Baba and elbow drop from Andre. The crowd was loud af so I think Andre misheard the ref counting bc he almost rolled off of Smash before the three count. I mean that wasn’t good by any means, but it was still kinda fun.

They’re billing Hogan/Hansen as a “Special Dream Match” and show Hogan warming up. STAN HANSEN RUNS OVER FINK AS HE’S ANNOUNCING HIM SO FINK HAS TO GET HIS ASS BACK UP TO FINISH

Hulk Hogan vs Stan Hansen
Oh boy this is fun. Hogan is actually doing technical wrestling and Hansen’s dirty brawling is Hogan is able to match Hansen strike-for-strike for the most part, they even trade eye pokes and it feels like they really hate each other during this brawl on the outside of the ring. Hansen is busted open after a shot to the ring post and Hogan just goes right at the cut. The crowd has been super hot throughout this and are just getting louder as it goes on. They end up in the announcer area and Hogan slams Hansen onto one of the tables, and he just continues beating down Hansen as Earl Hebner warns him about closed fists. Hansen finally starts fighting back and hits a big shoulder block, then kills Hogan in the face with a chair and just throws it at someone, maybe an announcer or a photographer HANSEN JUST SWUNG AT A FAN WHAT Hogan’s bleeding now to so that’s interesting. Hogan gets desperate and tries to use Hansen’s rope as a weapon, but Hansen just bullies it away from him and keeps the beatdown going. Hogan starts fighting back, but misses a leg drop attempt. He’s able to hit a crossbody, and then the AXE BOMBER for the win Japanese Hogan bruh

Hogan does hits taunts for the last couple minutes of the show lol how many shows am I gonna watch that end with this.