Donnie watches WWF 1985

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Greg Valentine-13/10/84
WWF Tag Team Champions: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-31/3/85
WWF Women's Champion: Wendi Richter-31/3/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
July 6th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match#1 The British Bulldogs vs Barry O & Dave Barbie
The dogs are finally back!! Sick power spots to start by DK. A complete cunt who also happens to be amazing as hell. Davey joins in on the fun and he's smooth and mean as hell as well, and it's truly a perfect pair. DK gets mean all of a sudden with nasty lariats and suplexes, and Vince freaks out in a cool moment. They murder O with the rocket launcher/flying headbutt deal.
**

WWF Update-
-Recap of Wonderful's face turn at SNME. Not sure why they're a few months behind, but whatever.

Match#2 King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart vs Sal G
Fuck yeah, Bundy is back as well. Feels like Vince finally making sure his pieces are in place as he sets the future. Bundy uses his fat to murder G a lot, and hey it rocks a ton. Avalanche and the 5 count does it.
*3/4

Interviews-
-KOTR hpye
-We have no tape, sadly.

Match#3 Uncle Elmer w/Hillbilly Jim vs AJ Pertruzi
Elmer is dogshit as dogshit can be. Bad strikes and bad fat man offence, which coming after Bundy is even worse. He wins with a legdrop
1/2*

Match#4 The Dream Team vs Jose Luis Rivera & Paul Roma
Hammer does sick arm work and leads the charge, and Brutus is again the clean up man in the best possible role for him. Vince says the man Funk attacked last week as broken ribs, but he will be fine in the long run. High Knee ends it.
*3/4

Piper's Pit with Terry Funk. Terry says he's a jealous man of Hogan, JYD and even Piper because they make more money than him. Piper says maybe he didn't get fined the moment he walks through the door, he'd have money. FUCK YEAH. They show the footage of the attack and Funk says you don't put a man's cowboy hat on when they're tougher than a rattlesnake and a rattler and shaker. He says he hates the WWF and he wants to beat Hogan and JYD and murder rock and roll. Funk is God.

Match#5 Randy Savage vs Aldo Marino
GOD YES. He has the amazing pink and yellow get up, and it's an all time look that no one else but an insane cokehead could pull off. Every heel manager comes out to watch the match. Randy throws sick strikes and batters Aldo with the famous offence, and it's soooooo cool man. Randy comes off the top with the double axe to the outside and cracks the jobber right on top of his head. He drags him back in and hits two perfect Elbows to win.
**

Post match, all the managers get in and hug him. Savage attacks Aldo again and kills him with another axe handle to the floor. God Bless.

PSA; Ricky Steamboat says not to smoke.

Match#6 Ricky Steamboat vs Don Muraco w/Mr Fuji
Holy fuck yes. Don tries to cheap shot him so Ricky smokes his ass with karate.It turns into a fight on the mat and Ricky grabs the arm and dominates him for a while, but Don fires off a gross Samoan Drop and it turns into a fight with amazing, amazing strikes and killer selling from both dudes. Don slams Ricky's head off the apron and beats his ass on the outside. They fight and Steamer throws Don into Fuji and slides back in to win via countout.
**3/4

Yeah, i'll these two for the next few months.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Greg Valentine-13/10/84
WWF Tag Team Champions: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-31/3/85
WWF Women's Champion: Wendi Richter-31/3/85

WWF All-Star Wrestling
July 6th, 1985
Hamilton, Ontario

Match#1 US Express w/Lou Albano vs Frank Marconi & Ricky Hunter
Barry does the bulk of the work and it rocks as he hits hard and does good mat work and the like, and Mike is ok when called upon. Bulldog does it.
*1/2

Match#2 Greg Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs Barry Mackner
Hammer is on one tonight as he hurls the kid around and wreaks the arm in even meaner fashion than normal. He even breaks out white noise and makes Sheamus look like a bitch. Figure Four does it.
**

Match#3 The Killer Bees vs Barry O & Terry Gibbs
Honey pot, motherfuckers. Killer mat work like last time and some cool arm work on top of it, and they're really good one of the dumbest gimmicks ever. Bee gets isolated for a time and the jobbers do some fine work on him. Jim has a good hot tag and runs through them with ease. Jim wins with a flying crossbody.
*3/4

Match#4 Terry Funk vs Jim Powers
Yes!!!!! Funk wastes zero time as he kills Jimmy for being alive and in his line of sight. Amazing punches and headbutts and classic crazy Funker stuff that no one else could possibly pull off. Spinning toe hold does it.
**

Body Shop with Hillbilly Jim. He says he likes the people cheering for him, and he thanks the fans for the cards. Jesse brings out a pipe out of Jim's pocket and asks what he's been smoking, and Jim changes the subject and brings out Elmer. Elmer says he doesn't wrestle but he scuffles, so Jesse ends the interview and tells them to take a bath.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

Greg Valentine (c) vs Tito Santana (WWF Intercontinental Championship-Steel Cage. 6/7 Baltimore)
"Boy this is a real grudge job" Monsoon. Tito snaps right away and beats the shit out of him for months and months of this fucker wreaking his life, and it's so great watching him do it. Hammer keeps trying to run for it, which forces Tito to keep stopping him and zapping himself of energy each time. Greg manages to kick off down to the apron and he slams him into the cage to take over, and he starts unloading a killer beating. Gross punches and choking for a while, and the only bad thing is Monsoons' terrible commentary adding nothing to it. Tito is busted open when Greg hotshots him into the cage, and we get another amazing closeup of a bleeding wrestler. Greg targets the cut with elbows and shit and it's super brutal, but he goes for the figure four because he can't help himself, and Tito boots him into the cage to finally get some space. Tito slowly climbs up the top of the cage as Hammer crawls to the door and GREG GETS IT OPEN, BUT TITO CLIMBS DOWN AND KICKS INTO HIS FACE AND KNOCKS HIM BACK AND TITO JUMPS DOWN TO WIN THE TITLE BACK. FUCK YEAH.
***

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana-6/7/85
WWF Tag Team Champions: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-31/3/85
WWF Women's Champion: Wendi Richter-31/3/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
July 13th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Tonight. Sheik & Nik vs US Express for the Tag Titles. Randy Savage in Piper's Pit.

Match#1 Paul Orndorff vs Mr X
Battle of the Mr Mister's, which is perfectly fitting for 1985. Awesome stuff from Paul as he gets right to it and trashes X on the outside with gross punches and kicks, and it's a Wonderful time. Heenan watches from ringside with a briefcase. Paul gets really pissed when he sees him and smokes X some more as a result. Piledriver does the deed.
**

Post match, Heenan dares Wonderful to come and get the money, but Paul gets out and beats up X some more with a gross slam to the ground.

WWF Update-
-Randy Savage is amazing as fuck and every manager wants a piece of him.

Match#2 Pedro Morales & Lanny Poffo vs. JA Rizzo & Barry O
What a genius team. Lanny is super young and not good at all, but he's Randy's brother and gets a spot as the rules state. Pedro is awful again and doesn't help matters at all. Crab ends it.
Poop

Jack Reynolds-
-He announces Tito's title win.
-Freddie Blassie walks on says he was planning on the Express chasing them so could lead them into a trap.

Match#3 The Missing Link w/Bobby Heenan vs Jim Young
Killer wildman squash again. Loads of headbutts and slams and other crazy man stuff, and it's fun as hell. He wins with a flying splash.
**




Match#4 Terry Funk vs Mario Mancini
Hell yeah. Funk throws amazing elbows right to top of Mario's head and just batters the shit out of him. Funk gives him some offence when hits the ropes, and his selling is incredible even for 30 seconds. He snaps and kicks the fuck out of him as he screams that Mario is a pig. Toe hold does it
**

PSA; Tito Santana wants everyone to swim with a friend.

Match#5 Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (c) vs US Express (WWF World Tag Team Championships)
US have a great flurry to start and force these fat hgh motherfuckers to actually give a shit and sell. Mike takes a knee to the guts and the heels work him over, and it's perfectly fine enough. Rotundo cradles Sheik, but behind the ref's back, Nik rolls Sheik on top. Barry reverses that, and then cuts Niki off, and the US Express regains the titles. What a terrible fucking finish. Least this horrible reign is finally over.
3/4*

 

[BigVanDonnie]

Terry Funk vs Lanny Poffo (13/7)
Funker throws his jacket at the guy he beat up a few weeks ago!! Terry beats the shit out of poor little Lanny while being an unhinged as possible screaming the camerman calling him a stupid son of a bitch. The best to ever do it. Terry spends the next few minutes unloading a beating while throwing in amazing little sells for any offence Lanny gets in. Sleeper ends it
**

Post match, FUNK BURNS HIM WITH A FUCKING BRANDING IRON. MY GOD.

Roddy Piper vs Paul Orndorff (13/7)
GOD YES. Amazing fight breaks out right away with Wonderful decking the fuck out of him, and Piper sells nerve damage in his neck after a series of shots. Wonderful locks onto his wrist and attacks the arm, so Piper pokes him in the eye to get out of like a complete shitheel. It's a nasty fucking thing to do, and it really sells the hate between them. Piper kicks him to the floor and beats his ass on the mat with a super tight facelock. Wonderful punches his way out and turns it into a tired dog fight and it's so cool. Ace runs out and cracks Wonderful with the cast for the DQ.
***

Post match, they beat him bloody with the cast until the Bulldogs make the save and have a sick brawl with Piper & Ace.

Hart Foundation vs British Bulldogs (13/7/85)
Here we go. Two teams that will be intertwined for the rest of their lives in one way or another. Bret and DK start with a series of killer mat work and it's so smooth and good as you'd expect. Anvil gets in and DK CRACKS him with a knee to the face like a complete bastard!! Davey gets in and is quickly isolated and we get a super fun control seg with Bret leading the charge and Anvil doing the cleaning up. Awesome selling from DBS as he holds his body as he tries and tries to get anything going before it's too late. DK finally gets the hot tag and beats the fucking crap out of both of the HF like they're not even there. DBS tags back in and is isolated again in a super weird choice, but it's cool again so whatever. They end up fighting until the bullshit MSG curfew hits and the match ends on that.
**3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana-6/7/85
WWF Tag Team Champions: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-31/3/85
WWF Women's Champion: Wendi Richter-31/3/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
July 20th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

TONIGHT MURACO VS STEAMBOAT 2

Killer Bees vs Steve Lombardi & Ron Shaw
Hell yeah, they've got the matching tights, jackets and headbands and it's the goofiest and lamest shit in the world. Super fun matwork to start with Jim looking good, but not anywhere near as his awesome partner. Bee just has a way of making it look super smooth and cool and keeps me happy the entire time. Blassie joins commentary and Vince talks about a Manager of the Year poll that's going on now, and says due to a great number of Arabic and Russian votes, Freddie Blassie is currently winning. AMAZING. Blair wins with a sick seated senton.
**

WWF Update-
-Lord Hayes recaps Tito winning the IC title back.

Match#2 Adrian Adonis w/Bobby Heenan vs Gary Starr
YES HE'S FINALLY BACK. He's looking a little fat and grosser than normal, and it's cool by me. He's violent as hell and beats the shit out of Starr on the mat with gross elbows and knees, and really fucks his life up. Adrian wins with a sleeper hold that Heenan has dubbed "THE BIG APPLE".
**

Post math, he wakes the jobber up and chokes him out again.

Freddie Miller-
-Hype for Boston where Don & Fuji will face Ricky and JYD.
-Don walks on and says he won the first king of the ring and now he wants to be known as the Eliminator because that's what he did to all those bums. When the master puts on the tights and gets back in the ring, they'll unload hell on them. JYD has a score to settle with him, but he's got a bigger one himself.

Match#3 Uncle Elmer w/Hillbilly Jim vs Doc Butler
Another terrible one for this shithead. I don't want to hate on the dead (that's reserved for the worst of the worst) but he's not good at all despite me wanting him to be so i could laugh at Sky. But, yeah fat loser. He wins with a bad legdrop.
Poop

Freddie Miller-
-Ricky walks on and says he knew after the first match he would be dealing with double trouble, so he got the worst dog of the bunch to watch his back and join this fight. Ricky says everyone knows these two double team everyone, but he outsmarted them last time and he's here to prove himself. The best are here and you have to dig down deep and get back to your roots to contend with the contenders.

Match#4 Terry Funk vs Jose Luis Rivera
Wooo, what an episode. Terry takes some fun bumps to start and really gives the kid a lot, before he shuts him down and bashes the fuck out of him. He hits a sick slingshot backdrop on the ropes that leaves Bruno and Vince in awe. Just the best dude ever. He keeps killing him with tons of cool shit, and he's easily the best squash guy. Terry wins with a sleeper.
**

Piper's Pit with Lou Albano. Piper says Al has managed 15 tag champions, but he's still one of the biggest pigs he's seen in his entire life. Lou says not to touch him, and Piper laughs and says he can't do a damn thing. Lou goes to attack, but Orton shoves him back down. The Express rush on and get in Piper's face, so Piper calls them paper champs and challenges them to a match. The Express accept to close it.

They air the last few minutes of Tito/Hammer.

Match#5 Ricky Steamboat vs Don Muraco w/Mr Fuji
Don jumps him from behind and beats the crap out of him with chops and strikes, but Ricky fires back and we get a sick as hell back and forth. Ricky starts to get the best of it and busts Don open above the eye with a shot!!. Ricky knocks Fuji off the apron and deals with Don, but FUJI WRAPS HIS BELT AROUND RICKY'S NECK AND DRAGS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT FOR THE DQ.
*

THEY THROW HIM OVER THE ROPES AND STRANGLE HIM WITH THE BELT!! DON SMACKS HIM OVER AND OVER WITH ANOTHER BELT AND RICK IS DEAD AS FUCK. TITO AND JYD RUN OUT AND THE HEELS HIGHTAIL IT OUT. Amazing stuff.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana-6/7/85
WWF Tag Team Champions: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff-31/3/85
WWF Women's Champion: Wendi Richter-31/3/85

WWF All Star Wrestling
July 20th, 1985
Hamilton, Ontario

Match#1 Terry Funk vs Paul Roma
FUCKING KILL HIM DEAD, TERRY. Terry gives him nothing and just beats the hell out of him for being alive, and it's a perfect choice because fuck Paul Roma. Amazing crazy man beating as always with a million amazing punches and knees and gross shit in between. Spinning Toe Hold does it.
**

Match#2 Don Muraco w/Mr Fuji vs Jim Young
Don does a lot of neck work this go around to soften him up for the piledriver, and it's good shit as always. Nasty Tombstone does the deed.
**

Post match, Don gets the mic and says that was for Jesse Ventura.

Mean Gene-
-More Boston hype.
-Ricky Steamboat is the guest. He talks about picking JYD has his partner because he's a mixed breed that was picked on as a kid (wait what). He has never suffered something like being hung like a dog on TV, and they will pay with the hands of steel.

Match#3 The Dream Team vs Marcus Brothers
Hammer is now a full tag guy now that he's lost the title, and it's sad as he's fucking amazing and deserves better than Brutus Beefcake. Still, this is very fun as he leads the charge and wreaks shop, and Beef mostly does ok when called upon. High Knee does it.
*3/4

Mean Gene-
-Roddy Piper is here. He laughs at Gene for saying a fight with Wonderful won't be a walk in the park. He ain't afraid of walking in a park because he's never been knocked down and it won't happen in Boston. He left Hogan and Andre bloody and dying in Boston! This is stupidity on Wonderful's part. He lost at WrestleMania and became a loser, but he is no loser.

Match#4 Lanny Poffo vs Mr X
Ah fuck. Lanny is not good outside of being a killer promo, but he's Randy's loser dipshit brother and this is how it works to keep everyone happy. Bad lame offence that look like it wouldn't hurt a fly, and shitty bumps as well. He wins with a bad Moonsualt.
1/2*

Body Shop with Randy Savage. Jess says he's seen a lot of cats jump off the top rope, but none have a more devastating elbow than Randy Savage. Savage walks on and SAYS NO ONE IS THE DANGER ZONE LIKE HULK HOGAN. HE'S DEAD AND NOW IT'S RANDY SAVAGE'S TIME DIG IT. Jesse asks if they can be partners one day, and Randy says he can dig that power.


Match#5 King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart vs Jose Luis Rivera
Jesse says Andre isn't around when Bundy is wrestling.... Awesome stuff from Bundy with the cool clubs and choking, and JLR is a killer jobber who dies on everything. Splash and the 5 count does it.
**

Match#6 Ricky Steamboat vs Ricky Hunter
Ricky is very mad about being hung, so he takes out on this old man and it's rad. Killer karate stuff and awesome armdrags as you'd expect. Just the best dude ever. Crossbody ends the fun.
**

Mean Gene-
-Mr Fuji. He laughs his balls off at what they did to Ricky. He feels great and pure after the attack, and Gene calls him a sick man. Fuji says he is a sick man who wants to make him cry and scream, and Don wants to break every bone in his body and karate chop his head.