April, 1999
The camera comes into Diamond Dallas Page exhausted after a match and holding the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. He can't help but smile, even when he runs into the genius that is Vince Russo.
“DDP bro, congratulations on the new title bro! Spring Stampede bro, it's going down in the history books bro!”
DDP holds his newly won title on his shoulder.
“Yeah, thanks 'bro’.”
Russo looks slightly irritated.
“Are you trying to impersonate me, bro? Dude, nobody can impersonate me, bro! Try that crap again and I'll have some comedian take that title away from you!”
DDP just shakes his head, Russo may be stupid, but not that stupid. How could he be? He created the attitude era!
“Alright bro, I'll take that and change the name plates, then tomorrow, we'll crush those WWF losers in the war once and for all!”
DDP hands his first world title over to Russo and decides to go on a walk while the plates are being changed. While he's walking the halls, he's spots a rookie in a metal wrestling attire. Page can't help but to laugh as he walks up to the rookie.
“Wow, I thought that Mortal Kombat ripoff was bad, no we have a robot too?”
The rookie turns around and shouts back.
“Hey, bite my shiny metal ass, meatbag!”
DDP is taken aback by the rude rookie.
“Hey, you better learn to watch your mouth. I'm a nice guy, but you talk like that to Hogan or Nash and you can kiss your career goodbye.”
The rookie can't help but to laugh.
“Career? Listen up, chump, I'm not some stupid human dressing up like a sexy robot.”
The robot caresses his shiny arm.
“I'm the real deal.”
Diamond raises his eyebrow with doubt.
“A robot… it's 1999, do I look stupid?”
“Shut it, meatbag. I know a code, a special code, it let's me go back in time without creating a paradox. It's great for stealing all those valuable little treasures from the past! That's the problem though, it's only the past, I gotta wait with you loser humans until I get back to my time.”
Page stands there, processing the fact that he's staring at a real time traveling robot.
“God gawd… how exactly does it work?”
“I just kinda read the code out loud, and bam, I'm in the past.”
DDP takes a second to think.
“What if you read it backwards? Will you go into the future?”
The robot sighs.
“No you dummy, that's not how it works.”
. . .
After a small time passes, the robot presses down on his antenna and reads a code incredibly fast. A small bubble appears around the robot, and it engulfs DDP as well. The two disappear from the hallway, and from the year 1999.
DDP is freaking out, as he has no idea what's going on.
“Jesus! What's going on?!”
“I'll tell you what's going on, meatbag… we're going to the year 3000.”
The two appear in a colorful lab filled by three young adults, one old man, a cyclops, a giant lobster, and three ugly as sin pink aliens. Diamond - who absolute didn't expect to be in this scenario - starts freaking out. After a few minutes, DDP begins to calm down.
“The year 3000, eh?”
A young man responds.
“Hey, trust me, it's a lot better than it sounds, I came from 1999 too. I've never been happier since I came here.”
The old man, who is on some sort of holographic computer, yells from across the room.
“You said your name was Diamond Dallas Page, right? The wrestler?”
“Yeah… and I just won my first World Championship… I was on my way to greatness!”
“Yeah… no. According to this, WCW died, you went to WWE, then they turned you into a stalker and your career died. Your greatest achievement was opening a Yoga school and running for president in 2028.”
DDP can't help but look disappointed.
“So my career died… great.”
“Yeah, too bad you weren't around in 2017, that's when people really started to appreciate you.”
“Yeah… if only.”
DDP sits in the lab really bummed out before a little idea pops in his mind.
“Hey robot, can I talk to you in private?”
“Sure thing, chump.”
The robot lights a cigarette and the two walk out of the room.
“So… do you think you can… I don't know… hitch a ride to 2017?”
The robot begins to laugh.
“Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Wait... are you serious? Let me laugh even harder then!”
The robot continues to laugh.
“What if I give you $20?”
“Deal.”
The robot presses his antenna and says a code incredibly fast. Him and DDP disappear and go head for the past.
Conveniently enough, they reappear in another wrestling arena. Page thanks the robot and gives him $20. He wanders around the arena and finds a man in a suit. The man looks important, so DDP decides to talk to him.
“Hey, do you have any idea on how a guy like me can get a gig around here?”
The fancy man turns around and sees DDP. He doesn't know why, but Page looks incredibly familiar.
“Hmm… I think I may know a thing or two. Nice to meet you, my name's Triple H.”