WWE Raw, Smackdown & PPV's 2003

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 08/14/2003
St. Louis, Missouri

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says he has the honor of introducing someone the people don't really know. Tonight he’s gonna introduce a man you thought you know, oh no you never really did. Tonight he’s gonna introduce you to the REAL! BROCK LESNAR! And you may be thinking to yourselves yeah I know Brock Lesnar, he’s a former NCAA Championship in St. Louis. Yeah, I know Brock Lesnar he’s the youngest WWE Champion of all time. Brock Lesnar is an ELITE! Athlete but, I know another side of Brock Lesnar that you don’t. And what we’re talking about is a sadistic animal and that animal was unleashed last week. Vince then shows footage of what happen last week, Vince says it was all a rude that no one saw coming. Vince says that was Brock’s idea of fun, it’s like dwarf tossing He says Kurt is at home tonight, but next week he will face the music. Out comes the REAL! BROCK LESNAR!

Suddenly the tape cuts out and goes to the tag match, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DA FUCK! THIS IS TERRIBLE! WHY IS IT ALWAYS SMACKDOWN FOOTAGE THAT GETS CUTOFF, GOD DAMMIT! WHY NOT RAW! I WILL SUE WHOEVER IS RESPONIBLE! FUCK MY LIFE!

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Greatest Tag Team vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman
Taz mentions Kidman is fresh off his honeymoon, this show is not off to a good start at all. Fuckin’ KIDMAN! Haas and Kidman start and it’s good, Kidman uses his quickness to avoid the grip of WGTT but the numbers game catches up to him, when Shelton dropkicks his knee. They try to work on it but Kidman quickly avoids and Rey gets an amazing hot tag already, he just like Kidman uses the quickness but adds the high flying moves to take out both men. But as he bounces off the ropes Haas knees him in the back allowing Shelton to connect with a T-Bone Exploder for two. Kidman sends Haas to the floor and dives on him with a crossbody to the floor, but back in the ring Shelton and Rey fight up top with Rey hitting this picture perfect ‘Rana off the top for two. Kidman and Rey do a perfect set up for the 619 but when he goes charging into he ropes Haas lunches him over the top and Rey lands on the knee injuring it. This allows WGTT to work over Rey’s mid-section and knee that is phenomenal, it’s so brutal. They just beat the shit out of Rey and Rey’s bumping is magical, he shows such a ton of Rey heart. The isolation on Rey last’s for a good 7 minutes before Rey hits a desperation seated dropkick, so he can tag in Kidman. Kidman’s hot tag was good by his standards cause he sucks in general. Rydien Bomb gets two on Haas, but Haas comesback with suplexes for two, Rey breaks it up by Dropping the Dime and Kidman gets two. Kidman blocks the superkick from Benjamin, but Haas gets a spinebuster for two. Rey & Shelton brawl outside as Haas & Kidman battle to the top and Rey slips back in to powerbomb Haas down, allowing Kidman to hit him with the Shooting Star Press while Rey dispatches Benjamin with the 619. That all gets two WHAT!!!! As Rey brawls with Benjamin again, but Benjamin sneaks in a cheapshot on Kidman and Haas rolls him up for the win. FUCKIN’ AWESOME! ***3/4 - ****

Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson) vs. Danny Basham (w/Doug Basham & Shaniqua)
NO! NO! NO! Fuck NO! Post-Match: That piece of shit Shaniqua beats on Torrie. Noble and Nidia run down to save, but also get taken out.

Backstage: The APA watches, and Bradshaw says Shaniqua is Shelton Benjamin in drag AWESOME! Faarooq says there's a lot of crazy stuff out here lately, and they should open up the office again.

Backstage: The Big Show is shown leaving Mr. McMahon's office.

The Undertaker vs. The Big Show
LOL @ Show pretending like he wants to play the striking game with him, but as soon as Taker goes at him he uses the weight and power to stay out of the reach of Taker, Taker does what he normally does against Show and a stick and move, he then would counter the chokeslam attempt into a DDT and tries to lock in an armbar. Taker now slows down the match, hitting the usual sequence of moves including the Guillotine on the apron and Old School, but Taker allows too much separation and that allows Show to connect with a desperation side walk slam and that allows Show to work the ribs. It’s brutal and Taker’s selling again is great. Taker’s right hands here are some of the best punches I’ve ever seen in a ring, he normally is perfect on throwing punches but maybe because these are desperate and Show’s neck snapping back makes them look just sexy. The match now turns into a slugfest and Taker is still selling the ribs, Taker tries to go for the chokeslam but Show shoves the ref out of the way and punches the ribs. Taker misses a splash and takes out the ref Show crotches himself and hits the floor, where they brawl. Show gets posted and they fight into the crowd, but A-Train attacks Taker by breaking a 2x4 on the injured ribs on Taker to give Show the countout win. *** - ***1/4

Backstage: Taker is being worked on by medics.

Eddie Guerrero comes out to do commentary, but then Chris Benoit also comes out to join him at commentary. FUCK YEAH!

Tajiri vs. Rhyno
As much as I tried to pay attention to the match, I couldn’t cause Benoit and Eddie had me in stitches. Mainly cause its Benoit fuckin’ with Eddie and bringing up memories of the road with Eddie, along with him saying we are friends. During the match Tajiri kicks are one point, and Rhyno is not that 2001 Rhyno anymore it’s just power moves and nonsense. At one point Eddie tells the greatest story about how when they were on the road, Eddie would always ask Chris can they got to taco bell to eat but Benoit would tell him no and make them listen to Bob Evans and eat bisects and gravy on the side of the road Rhyno misses a goar and hits the exposed buckle and Tajiri hits him with the KO kick for the win. Post-Match: As Eddie tries to leave Benoit continues to fuck with him asking him to give him a ride one last time, Benoit wants a ride in the lowrider, and DEMANDS that Eddie make the hydraulics bounce, which creeps Eddie out enough that he backs off. AWESOME!

John Cena vs. Zach Gowen
Before the match Cena cuts a rap about Zach, he calls him stupid and makes fun of his one leg. This didn’t last long thankfully, Cena beats the shit out of him but nothing like what’s gonna happen next week, wait what. Anyway Zach bumps huge like usual and Cena beats the shit out of him before hitting the FU for the win.

During the break, Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore run down and lay out Gowen on the ramp.

Backstage: A-Train walks up to Stephanie. He says her dad paid him a lot of money to do what he did to her at Vengeance but he would have done it for free. A-Train says that he knows Stephanie likes it rough, and that he knows girls who like it rough. And tonight he’s gonna give it to her rough.

Backstage: Funaki is officiating a chocolate syrup drinking contest between Spanky & Orlando Jordan, Spanky wins that only ‘cause it wasn’t Cum. Anyway Spanky celebrates and accidentally sprays chocolate all over Vince McMahon's suit. He apologizes and tries to wipe it off, but Vince yells not to touch him. He asks who in the hell he is, and Kendrick says he's worked here all year, Vince says he doesn’t care. Kendrick then makes fun of the XFL and bad investments. OH NO! Vince cuts him off and orders him to go to the ring and face THE REAL! Brock Lesnar!

Brock Lesnar vs. Brian Kendrick
I HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS, IT’S BEAUTIFUL, SPECTACULAR, SENSATINAL! Brock mauls him to start and lawn-darts him to start, Kendrick attempts a ‘Rana but that gets countered into the triple powerbomb. Brock pauses to grab a chair, and lays out Spanky for the DQ. Spanky is busted open d Brock Lesnar rubbed Spanky's blood onto his own chest; he lifts Spanky over his head and threw him into the turnbuckle post.

During the commercial, Spanky is laying in a pool of his own blood before he gets taken out on a stretcher RIP!

Vince stays in the ring and introduces the main event ring announcer, Sable. Stephanie comes out and beats up Sable before A-Train runs out for the match.

No Countouts: A-Train vs. Stephanie McMahon
A-Train pretty much toys with Stephanie for like 2 minutes, before looking at Vince McMahon, who gives the classic thumbs down gesture. Suddenly, Taker comes down to brawl with him but Show attacks him from behind and nails him several times with a steel chair to the ribs. A-Train returns to the ring to take care of poor Stephanie, hitting a top rope splash for the win. Post-Match: Vince makes out with Sable as he stands over Stephanie to end the show. FATHER OF THE YEAR!

Smackdown goes off air, but I got the footage of A-Train standing tall over Steph, but Taker manages to get up and into the ring. He brawls with A-Train for a big before chokeslamming him. He then picks up Steph and carries her to the back. WHAT A GUY!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 08/18/2003
Grand Rapids, Michigan

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

Chris Jericho comes out for the Highlight Reel; he says this is gonna be a great week for the king of bling, bling. And it all starts tonight when he beats Kevin Nash, and when he does he’s gonna cut that brutal hair off. He’s gonna introduce everyone to “BIG DADDY BALD!” Then on Sunday at SummerSlam he’s gonna regain the world title. He says it’s been a long time since he’s been world champ and ever since he lost the title he’s been dreaming about the day he could get it back. It’s why he’s willing to put everything on the line in the chamber to get it back. Chris Jericho then introduces the man that stole the title from him, in the last chamber match….Shawn Michael’s. Jericho asks Shawn Michaels if lightning is going to strike twice? But doesn't let him answer, he then says he would love to hear him talk, but he just hasn’t got any time for him right now he’s got a big hair vs. hair match, so he has to go. But he’s a fair man and is willing to give Shawn a chance to talk. But for now he wants to introduce his personal friends as substitute hosts. EVOLUTION! Hunter tells him to relax, before he calls the Elimination Chamber, "Evolution Chamber" He says this kind of match takes a piece of your carer away with it, last year 6 men walked in but he lost the most. He spent 48 hours in a hospital bed, but more importantly he lost the World Heavyweight Championship. Triple H says he's going to make sure he walks out of the E-Chamber with the World title; he'll also make sure its Shawn Michael's who spends time in a hospital bed. Suddenly, Shawn Michaels attacks the three members of Evolution, but the numbers game catches up to him until a Kevin Nash tries to make the save but gets taken out too. Goldberg comes down and no sells Ric Flair's chops and cleans house. He sets Hunter up for the spear, but Hunter moves causing Goldberg to spear the hell out of Kevin Nash.

Backstage: Stacy is putting on lipstick, but Test comes up saying things are gonna be different when he wins her back tonight. He’s gonna treat her like the slut that she is.

WWE Women's Championship: Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus
This was ok , but rather sloppy at points, dragging it down. Trish's arm selling was mostly good; it would end when Gail attacks both divas for the DQ.

Backstage: Evolution are proud of themselves for making Goldberg spear Nash, when Austin walks over to them. He sets up a match between Randy Orton & Bill Goldberg tonight. Orton sarcastically hopes that all hell doesn't break lose during that match, Austin says he realizes hell might break lose, so he makes himself the special enforcer.

Shane McMahon comes out on the stage and says there will not be a Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff at SummerSlam. Because Eric Bischoff will not make it to SummerSlam, cause tonight he's going to beat him beyond recognition tonight. He says he also has a present for Kane when he gets here, and brings out a can of gasoline.

Backstage: Lance Strom is telling Goldust this is not working, he’s boring. But Goldust says the key to being not boring is being unpredictable. Goldust says what is the most unpredictable thing he’s ever done and Lance says “this one time, he returned a video without rewinding it” AWESOME! Goldust then talks him into going into the divas room and talks dirty to them.

In Greenwich, CT, Linda McMahon is live and will give an update on her situation tonight.

Winner Gets Stacy's Services: Test vs. Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
This is head and shoulders over the Bad Blood match, but not much better. Scotty was bringing the aggression and it was fun. He pretty much beats Test all over the ring, coast to coast for like 2 minutes. Test stumbles around and collapses because of a “knee gave way” Test requests the attention of a trainer, who runs down to check on his knee. Test gets helped to his feet and limps across the ring. Suddenly, Test's knee becomes completely rehabilitated and he kicks Scott Steiner in the face for the win. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

La Resistance come down, and talk about how they killed the Dudleyz. Rene Dupree requests a moment of silence for the death of the Dudley Boyz, Sylvian says that they'll bury the Dudley Boyz for good at Summerslam. Sylvian then gets out of the ring to harass a uniformed serviceman sitting in the front row. Rene Dupree offers to shake his hand; he hesitates, but extends his hand, only to be brushed off. Anyways, they taunt him, but the Dudley Boyz comes out to save, and shake his hand. La Resistance come back down, and Conway turns on them, and all three lay out Bubba & D-Von. SWERVE!!!

​

Hair vs. Hair Match: Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash
HOLY SHIT! Nash with the bleached hair job, showing that he’s so losing tonight. Also him getting speared kinda gave it away too, apparently clean wins on Raw are not acceptable. Jericho starts off the match by slapping Nash, which back fires cause all it does is piss him off and Nash dominates early in slow motion. Jericho would use his quickness to kick away at the quads again but Nash no sells it and goes to the power game to throw Jericho around. Jericho would gain the advantage back after nailing Nash in those ribs and he begins to work it, to Nash’s credit he sells them by his standards awesomely. Jericho would expose one of the turnbuckles but as the ref tries to put it back on Nash rolls him up but the ref is too slow to make the count and Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho goes back to work on the ribs, but misses a shoulder blocks and goes shoulder first into the ring post allowing Nash to make a comeback in ultra slow motion. Nash charges and hits boot, and Jericho bulldogs him he follows up with a Lionsault which gets two. Walls of Jericho is applied, but Nash makes the ropes. Jericho protests, but walks into a powerbomb. That gets two. Big boot and another powerbomb, but Jericho goes low, and uses brass knuckles for the win (I wonder if it was the same Knuxs Flair used last week, seeing how he and Evolution are great friends) Post-Match: Jericho butches the fuck out of Nash’s hair, before he wakes up, and Jericho takes some with him. Best Nash match since Bad Blood, even if it had some real sloppy moments. **1/2 - **3/4

Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long) vs. Rosey (w/The Hurricane)
I could not pay attention to this match, cause I was too busy laughing at Rosey beating up that pussy.

Live in Greenwich, CT, Linda McMahon has an update on her condition. She talks about her recovery and how she was traumatized, and the doorbell rings and she is surprised when Eric Bischoff walks in. Eric laughs that Shane McMahon is looking for him in Grand Rapids but he's actually at the McMahon house, Linda asks him to leave. But he says he's not here to hurt her, he's here to please her. Eric says he built WCW from the ground up and Shane McMahon had it handed to him. So at SummerSlam he's gonna break both of Shane McMahon's legs. Eric holds Linda’s hands behind her back and he says she'll enjoy this. Eric then asks Linda to show him the bedroom, and then lays a kiss on her.

During the commercial, Shane McMahon leaves the building and steals a car, headed to get Bischoff. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I mean, it's not like it's an hour away. It's in Connecticut, and you're in Michigan, you're not going to make it in time, YOU IDIOT! Can’t you go get the WWE private Jet?

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam
Some real solid back and forth counter wrestling early on, with neither man really gaining an advantage for anything longer than 3 moves, but RVD goes for one too many flashy moves and he goes shoulder first into the ring post. Christian begins to work over it and it’s good, RVD’s selling was spotty though, he would sell then magically make a comeback and act like this is the first 5 seconds of the match again. Christain would also I don’t wanna say forgot about the arm, but he would just randomly move on to working the mid-section for a bit and that too gets no sold. RVD makes a nice little RVD comeback tons of sweet looking kicks and boots from different angles. Christian did have this fuckin’ awesome counter from the rolling thunder as he puts his knees up, with RVD still on his knees he rolls him up for two. The match goes back and forth until RVD accidently kicks the ref with a kick from the 2nd rope. Christian would hit the inverted DDT and grabs 2 chairs. He sets up a solo concerto, but misses and RVD kicks the chair back into his face and follows up with a frog splash. Suddenly, Kane’s music hit and Kane walks out and goes after RVD, but RVD dropkicks a chair into Kane's face. He then goes for the suicide dive, but Kane swings a chair and smacks RVD in the head. Kane picks up RVD and carries him up the ramp to the backstage area. R@PE! Oh the match was fun while it lasted, even if RVD did not sell shit. Man the old RVD gets the worse he’s becoming. **1/2

Backstage: Test forces Stacy to give out lap dances to Rico and Steve Richards, wait isn’t Rico suppose to be into men? Why is he enjoying this?

Backstage: Kane has RVD tied up and teases lighting him on fire with the gasoline that Shane left behind, Kane has problems lighting the match, but gets it and holds it up to RVD's face. He then says that this is what "they" want, but he's not going to do what "they" want any more. He drops the match and walks away.

Goldberg vs. Randy Orton (Special Enforcer: Stone Cold Steve Austin)
Hunter and Flair are on commentary but it’s not Eddie/Benoit level of hilariousness, Smackdown wins again. As for the match it’s good fun, Randy tries to all he can to do it run away but Goldberg kills him. Orton then gets super aggressive, with uppercuts before throwing him into the steps. Back in, and Randy targets the head area, but Goldberg uses power and the ability to no sell to gain the advantage back. At one point, Randy pokes Goldberg in the eye and tries the RKO but he gets shoved into the ref (FUCKIN’ 3 MATCHES IN A ROW WITH A REF BUMP) Goldberg powers him down and Austin counts to two, Goldberg locks in the AWESOME! Rolling Leg lock and Flair has seen enough, He pulls Austin out, so Austin assaults him. He goes after Orton, who walks into a spear and Jackhammer for the win. Post-Match: Nash comes in and turns on Goldberg, obviously upset about his new haircut. And Jackhammers him. Kevin Nash looks up at Triple H, who is superkicked from behind by Shaw, Shawn looks down at Nash and Jericho sneaks up behind Shawn Michael's and whacks him with a chair. JERICHO HAS BEEN BUILT UP LIKE A BEAST, NO WAY HE WINS THE TITLE RIGHT

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 08/21/2003
Detroit, Michigan

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says he told Brock straight to his face that he will stop at nothing to get back the WWE championship. He doesn’t apologize for beating him, because he knows this title is what he lives for. He thought Brock would appreciate that, but he was wrong, it’s like this. He didn’t come out here to hatch some elaborate plan with Vince McMahon. You wanna know why? ‘cause he doesn’t need some pumped up, whacked up billionaire to fight my battles for me. I fight my battles on my own, and I will get my revenge. Kurt says he’s gonna do it the old fashion way by finding him and kicking his ass. It’s that simple, Kurt says he didn’t come here for a match; he came here for a fight against Brock Lesnar, and Vince McMahon at the same damn time. Vince McMahon comes out to the stage, and says he’s impressed that Kurt came here looking for a fight. But you see, it’s not about what you want, he doesn’t give a damn about what he or the fans want. In this business it’s all about what he wants. Vince says there will be no fight between Kurt and Brock tonight. And says he and Kurt will not be fight too, Kurt then tells him to come in here and tell him to his face YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! Vince thinks about it and says if he went into the ring tonight Kurt would regret it, Vince then says if Kurt lays a finger on him or Brock, hell if he even comes near to them Kurt will get suspended and stripped of the WWE title, he might even fire him. Vince then says he is willing to give Kurt a tune up match against the Big Show. Kurt says that isn’t want he wants; he doesn’t want a match YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! I WANT A FIGHT! Screw that, I want to fight the Big Show. He leaves the ring and they brawl on the entrance way with Kurt low blowing Show and a hitting him with the title belt before referees pull Kurt to the back.

Backstage: Show and Vince are talking, show is pissed show he destroys Vince table and Vince gets fired up yelling at Show that the match will now be a falls count anywhere, street fight.

Rey Mysterio (w/Billy Kidman) vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore)
Mattitude.com says Matt has never lost his cell phone; Matt's pants are hipper than Rey's Great, great cruiserweight action to start. Until Moore gets on the apron so Kidman pulls him off and decks him. While the ref is dealing with that Matt pokes Rey in the eyes but Rey comes back with a sick dive off the top. At one point Moore tries to hit Rey with a chair but Rey moves and it hits the apron, so that idiot Kidman runs and picks up the chair. The ref would see this thinking Kidman used the chair and sends him to the back. This would allow Matt to take over once the throws Rey’s shoulder into the ring post. Matt's arm work and cut-offs of Rey's comeback were good, it’s just the usual goodness from these two. Rey’s comeback was fun even if he no sold the arm, at one point Matt busts out a reverse side effect which was cool. They would fight up top with Rey hitting a moonsault for two. Rey would set both Moore and Matt up for the 619, but Matt would cut it off. Matt signals for the Twist of Fate but Zach hits him in the back with a wooden crutch allowing Rey to hit him with a 619 and the west coast pop for the win. Great stuff. ***

Backstage: Brock goes into Vince office and Vince tells him about the match he made. They agree that Brock should have a match, so Vince books him against the local boy, Zach Gowen RIP! Brock says he's gonna break Zach's leg. Not his fake one, but his only one. Vince looks appalled, but then smiles and says he likes how Brock thinks.

Video package of Stephanie McMahon getting run over by A-Train last week, Michael Cole announces that Stephanie McMahon is suffering from internal injuries.

At ringside, Cole interviews Zach Gowen's mom, she says she is "so proud" of what Zach has achieved in such a short period of time. But she can't believe Brock Lesnar would threaten to break Zach's only leg.

The Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua) vs. Jamie Noble/Billy Gunn (w/Nidia & Torrie Wilson)
The Basham’s pull the twin magic and win FUCK THIS!


Backstage: Zach is walking or attempting to, when Brock walks over to him and tells him to SHUT UP! He tells him if he knew what was good for him he would shut his mouth, because after tonight, LITERALLY, he won't have a leg to stand on.

​

John Cena & A-Train vs. The Undertaker & Orlando Jordan
Before the match Cena cuts a rap, he talks about what happen to Zach and makes fun of it before making fun of Detroit. This was basically Taker beating the shit out of Cena for a long extended time like he’s been doing, before OJ comes in and does some awful shit before getting schooled by A-Train before Taker gets the hot tag, and he pretty much runs through both Cena and Train with no issues Taker would lock in the dragon sleeper on Cena as OJ stops Train from using a chair, but Train kills him with a sit-down double chokeslam. But Taker hits him with a chokeslam, but Cena hits a double legged spinebuster for two. Cena picks up the chair but Taker kicks it away and hoist him up for the last ride but A-Train hits him in the ribs with the chair and Cena falls on top for the win. Short but fun, due to OJ not getting much time. **1/4

Backstage: Sable tells A-Train that she’s been waiting for him, she shoves him into the wall and plays with the hairs on his chest before giving him a key to her penthouse hotel room (I should mention the whole time that was going on, some old fat guy was sitting down in the background watching the whole thing )

Eddie Guerrero & Rhyno vs. Chris Benoit & Tajiri
Eddie and Rhyno coming out in a low rida and bouncing on 2 wheels is phenomenal. Benoit is still in troll mode as he’ still trying to fuck with Eddie. They start and it’s the usual greatness, with Benoit beating the piss out of him with Eddie having to resort to cheating to gain the advantage for his team. They would work over Benoit neck, and it’s great but I can’t but help to laugh that Rhyno is drawing crickets in his hometown I wonder of the people even know he’s from Detroit? Tajiri’s hot tag ruled, but he accidentally kicks Benoit in the face as Rhyno goars him for the win. Post-Match: Eddie nails Benoit in the head with the belt, he then does it to Rhyno and Tajiri. Fun little match. **1/2

Falls Count Anywhere/Street Fight Match: Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
Kurt jumps Show on the stage and they fight down to ring-side, but Show throws him into the ring post and pulls out a table. They brawl in the ring for a bit with Show slamming Kurt on the table but it’s wasn’t set up so it looks and sounds cool. He follows up with a leg drop for two, before chops to the chest. Show now begins to dominate and Kurt’s bumping and selling here is great. Kurt hits a desperation Angle Slam for two, but Show comes back with a fuckin’ superkick, he didn’t get much height on it but still AWESOME! Kurt grabs a chair and nails Show in the back with it but he took to long so Show punches it back into his face. Show has him up for a powerbomb but Kurt grabs the chair and smashes Show in the head with it for two. Kurt grabs the chair again and hits Show with it sending him to the floor, but Show gets up first and beats him up around ring-side. Show grabs the steps and places them in front of the announces table but Kurt grabs his dick and punches him a few times. But a single forearm by Show stops it Kurt fights out of the chokeslam and attempts a crossbody but Show catches him, but Kurt slips out and sends him into the ring post. He again tries to hit Show with the chair but gets caught by the throat. Show again goes for the chokeslam but Kurt rolls through and applies the ankle lock. Show smartly uses the steps for leverage and kicks him off. But Kurt runs the stops and bulldogs him as show falls on the announce table. Kurt heads up and hits the Sabu lrgdrop with chair AWESOME! But that only gets a two count. They roll into the ring and Show again goes for the chokeslam but Kurt counters with an angle slam through the table for the win. Post-Match: Brock Lesnar comes out on the stage and stares down Kurt. The match was fuckin’ great, IDK what anyone says, Kurt uses a ton of new and innovated moves for someone who is a “wrestler” he bumps and sells tremendously and Show looks so dominate at times. ***1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWE SummerSlam 2003
Phoenix, Arizona

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

WWE World Tag Team Championships: The Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance
The Dudleyz are still pissed that the French guys one upped them on Raw last week so they jump them during their entrance. They completely dominate early, even to the point of using cheap shots and heel tactics to beat the fuck out of them. Hilarious moment in the match happens when René tries to do the begging off spot, but Bubba no sells the shit out of it and doesn’t even let him start the spot cause he punches him in the head Anyway, from the apron Grenier knees Bubba in the back allowing La Resistance to take over. The work the midsection or is it the Kidney’s I can’t tell cause Bubba is selling the Kidney area but the French fucks are working just the whole mid-section. The heat segment was just terrible and felt like a filler it did nothing for me or the match, D-Von’s hot tag was fun as he was clearly the MVP of this out working everyone. Later in the match the Dudleyz hit “WAAAAZZZZZ UP” then hit the 3D but Dupree pulled the ref out of the ring. That allowed a camera man to sneak in and lay D-Von out with a camera shot and Grenier covers him for the win. Post-Match: Spike tries to help but gets squashed as the camera man is revealed to be Ron “FUCK OFF” Conman Conway. Terrible way to open the show, I disliked the whole match even if D-Von was damn good in it. And Heel’s going over in the opener is just wrong, unless it’s a show steal'er match like Bret/Owen or Mankind/Hunter. *1/2

Coachman, tries to put over La Resistance by saying you may not like them but it’s kinda cleaver the way they won the match :hm: Bubba cuts him off and asks him if he’s one of those anti-American and he says he thinks people that don’t like America SUCK! Bubba says they will not sleep until they get those belts back.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff prepares for his upcoming match with Shane McMahon. Bischoff is interrupted by Christian. Christian's upset that he's not booked on the show, but Bischoff claims it was Steve Austin's decision. Christian says he should have known it was Austin, and accuses Austin of being jealous of his connection with the Peeps. Christian asks if he needs any assistance, but Eric says he’s got a backup plan. Christian then asks him what happen between he and Linda on Raw last week, and Eric says don’t worry he’s gonna come out and tell the world what happen shortly.

The Undertaker vs. A-Train (w/Sable)
This was weird, lots of power wrestling early on with neither man really targeting an area its basically back and forth of who is tougher. Taker tries to work the arm and hits old school but when he comes down, he “kinda re-injures” the ribs” A-Train sees this and begins to target them, but it’s not as aggressive and heated like I thought it should have been. IDK! Train is usually a killa but maybe it’s just me but this seems off. He does do a cool sport when he pulls Taker’s singlet down just to straight up punch the ribs. Taker’s selling was off too, he sold but nothing like he did against Cena or Show. Taker makes a nice comeback no-selling, obviously and the match turns into a slugfest, Taker tries to hit the Last Ride but Train shoves him into the ref knocking him down, this would allow Train to hit the derailer for two. Train ducks a clothesline and Taker kills the ref again. Train then heads to the floor and grabs a chair, but gets the chair booted in his face by Taker and that only gets a 2 count. Tombstonbe is counters but on the rebound Taker chokeslams him for the win. WHAT? Taker winning with a chokeslam what is this, the 90’s. Post-Match: Taker is about to hit A-Train with the Last Ride, but Sable distracts Taker by trying to seduce him to allow A-Train to escape. Taker eventually tires of the flirting and chokes Sable to allow a returning Stephanie to run out and get a piece of Sable. A-Train has to drag Sable to safety. This was also not good. ** - **1/4

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff
Eric gets on the mic and says there are a lot of things he doesn’t understand about Vince, like why is he running all over the country eating hamburgers when he’s got a lovely, juicy, voluptuous, flaminyon at home Now, it’s not a question of what happen but how many times it happen. Eric then says he now knows where Shane gets all his energy from, Shane comes out and he is pissed. He even cuts of the quick feet dance before storming to the ring. This is what it was, Shane beats the piss out of him for 3 or 4 minutes straight until Johnathan Coachman turns heel and attacks him. YES! THAT’S RIGHT Eric’s master plan is Johnathan Coachman. He had the WWE Intercontinental Champion asking to help, yet he turned him down for COACHMAN!!!!!! Eric makes it No DQ and Falls Count Anywhere, and it's a horrible 2 on 1. Eric has JR & King's mic cut off and makes Coach announce, after 5 minutes of that nonsense Austin finally comes down and Coach talks shit about Austin can't do anything (This is during the Austin can’t touch wrestlers unless he’s has been physically provoked) While this is going on, Shane shoves Coach into Austin, so Austin beats the shit out of him and turns JR & King's mics back on. This allows Shane to make a comeback and beat up Eric some more, but as Austin is about to leave Shane stops him and takes Eric’s hand and slapping Austin with it. Austin then stuns him, Shane instead of pinning him he places Eric on the announce table and hits the diving Elbow for REVENGE!!! And the win. I still can’t get over that Eric would rather have Coach help him instead of the WWE Intercontinental Champion, Christian no wonder WCW went out of business.

Backstage: Triple is telling Orton how tonight should end with Hunter walking in with the title, and walking out with the title. Orton tells him he understands and knows his role. Orton asks “what if”, and Flair says there is no "what if" Hunter then walks in and says there is no "what if" he has to remember one thing tonight he walks in with this, and he walks out with this GOT IT!

WWE US Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno vs. Eddie Guerrero
This was damn fun, Rhyno and Benoit start with Benoit quickly locking in the crossface but Eddie breaks it up. Eddie’s gameplan was great as he would only come in to break up a pin take a few cheap shots before leaving. That would twice, but then the number would catch up to him allowing the other 3 guys to take turns on him. After that the match, goes into more of a cluster nothing really stands out but we got some real fun mini-interactions between Benoit/Tajiri, Eddie/Tajiri and Benoit/Eddie. Rhyno was just here, he did do an awesome from one side of the ring to the other with Benoit on his should, shoulderblock. At one point in the match Eddie locks in the El Passo on Tajiri, while Benoit locks in the Crossface on Rhyno. Tajiri makes it to the ropes so Eddie breaks up the crossface, but Benoit locks it on him but that gets broken up by Rhyno. Rhyno hits a sweet Double A SpineSUMMERSLAM 2003 buster for two but he gets droppkicked to the floor. Benoit hits the 3 German’s on Tajiri but Tajiri hits one of his own with a bridge for two. Tajiri locks Benoit in the Tarantula, and while the ref is busy checking that, Eddie uses the belt to block the goar. Eddie heads up but Tajiri cuts him off and goes up top himself but, Benoit ties him up in the tree of woe. He hits the diving headbutt but Tajiri breaks it up. Tajiri misses the Big Kick on Benoit, as they tumble out to the floor, allowing Eddie to sneak in and hit Rhyno with the Frog Splash for the win. It’s what you expected from Smackdown, it’s a ton of fun action from bell-to-bell but they really didn’t build the story till the end with Eddie cheating to win. ***1/4

The first ever WWE Diva Search Winner, what ever happen to her?​

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle
Oaky before I get to the match, something really pissed me off. The fact that Angle was able of keep his compose while the ref is laying down the law is just weird. Think about it, Brock beat the living shit out of you inside a steel cage, and made you look dump. He bloodied you up after pretending to be your friend and kept you off TV for a week. And secondly, does the ref not watch the show? Why would he ask them to shake hands this fuckin’ guy. I hope Brock kills him during the ref bump, and we all know there’s going to be one. Back to the match; great armature wrestling to start with Kurt out wrestling him. But when Brock starts using power he gets cocky, so Kurt counters with speed and that frustrates Brock and when you piss off Brock BAD THINGS HAPPEN! Like the way with ease he simple picks up the steps and throws them. He would pick up the title and begins to walk away with it but Kurt jumps him, they brawl up and around the entrance way. But when they get back into the ring, Kurt is all over him after he hits a Bell-to-belly. Brock would gain the advantage back after he press slams him over the top rope to the floor, they would follow that up by throwing him into the steps, back in the ring and Brock slow begins to pick apart Kurt. But Kurt comes back with a sweet mimi-comeback but gets killed by a tilt-a-while backbreaker. He would continue to wear Kurt down, with Kurt having these AWESOME! Mini-comebacks just to get killed by a Brock power move. Brock's Overhead Belly to Belly that he does without even leaving his feet or arching his back is absolutely amazing. More Brock domination as he works the ribs/abdomen section. Brock would make the mistake of going to shouldblock too much as he misses and connects with the ringpost. That would allow Kurt to target that arm for a bit, before he makes a comeback hitting German’s with Brock landing on that shoulder. Angle Slam is blocked into a spinebuster for two; the F5 gets countered into a DDT for two. Straps come down and he hits the Angle Slam but Brock kicks out. Kurt pulls the straps up just to pull them down again and apply the Ankle Lock, Lesnar holds on and manages to reverse it and send Angle head first into the referee. Kurt locks in this crazy leg to head sleeper hold that he switches to the ankle lock that looks FUCKIN’ AMAZING! Brock makes it to the ropes but the ref is still down, he finally taps but again the ref is out. Suddenly, Vince comes down and nails Kurt in the back with a chair. Brock gets to his feet and hits a fuckin’ one legged F5 this guys sells everything He finally covers but only gets a 2 count. Vince calls for another one, but Angle takes him down with another ankle lock. Brock makes the ropes, but Angle pulls him away and Brock is forced to tap. Post-Match: Vince tries to attack with a chair, but Kurt blocks it, and puts Vince through the chair with the Angle Slam, ON VINCE’S BIRTHDAY! This was something else; Brock’s performance was amazing and so was Kurt’s but it doesn’t hold up like it did. However it still is the best match on the show and Brock is quite possible the best seller in the company. ****

No Holds Barred Match: Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
I liked that RVD came out trying to be aggressive, but that didn’t work so KANE killed him. But after that it all went downhill, these two don’t have chemistry at all and nearly everything looks sloppy or doesn’t connect clean at all. There was a sign that this match was gonna suck, when Kane could hardly get a ladder into the ring. After that it’s all the normal brawling and weapons shots. DAMMIT! I forgot I have the SSlam DVD that doesn’t show KANE botching the dive to the floor. Oh well, click this this continues to suck and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore so I’m just gonna move on to the finish. Kane wins with the Tombstone on the steps. DUD!

Backstage: Terri tries to interview Eric Bischoff, he doesn’t want anything to do with her so he calls her blonde or stupid or both she leaves and Linda McMahon comes in. Eric begins to stutter and gets scared, the walks up to him and slaps him

Backstage: Triple H is looking at the world title, when Flair comes in and says he’s the best in the world. He’s not going to say goodbye to it, he’s just going out there to show it off. Let’s go it’s time. AMAZING!

Elimination Chamber Match For The WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. Kevin Nash vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Goldberg vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
Ric Flair out at ringside, I just realized that this is Orton’s first ever PPV and he’s in a World Title match on the 2nd biggest show of the year. Damn DVD! Edit, they edit out Goldberg botching his entrance. Shawn and Jericho start, and it good fun. They do some real good counter wrestling and pinning sequences. They would begin to build up the hatred after both men trade slaps, Shawn would counter out of the Walls and rolls out of the way of the Lionsault as Orton comes out next. The 3 of them would work really well as we get some good triple threat interactions, Orton controls the majority of this cause he’s the fresher but he tries to RKO Shawn but Jericho backdrops him onto the steel, Jericho would drop him two more times on it before locking Shawn in the walls but he can’t make him tap as Nash is the next man out. He throws Orton into the steel, and tosses Jericho into them like a lawn dart. Orton and Shawn fight in the ring, while Nash uses the steel as a grater and grates his face busting him open. Nash would continue to dominate, but out of nowhere Shawn superkicks him and Jericho Jacknife pins him eliminating him. Triple H is next out but as he’s talking shit to Goldberg who’ still in his pod, Shawn superkicks him back into the pod NASH IS PISSED! So he Jacknife powerbombs Jericho and Orton. Shawn is busted open after going head to head with Orton; he covers Orton for two and crawls to cover Jericho for two. We get more AWESOME! Jericho/Orton/Shawn brawling, until GOLDBERG! KILLS EVERYONE, he without a doubt has the greatest performance ever as he straight up murders Orton with a military press into a spear, Shawn and Jericho try to team up but that doesn’t work. Orton gets killed again with a spear eliminating him. Goldberg throws Jericho into the chair, before throwing Shawn into the buckles sending him upside down. GOLDBERG IS NOT DONE AS HE SPEARS JERICHO INTO THE POD. Goldberg gets back into the ring, and Shawn catches him with the flying forearm and elbow drop, but when he misses the superkick Goldberg kills him with a spear and follows up with the Jackhammer eliminating him. Poor Jericho crawls back in, and he gets killed with another spear. Jackhammer connects and he gets eliminated. AND WE ARE DOWN TO TWO!!! LOL @ Flair and Hunter taunting Goldberg, so Goldberg breaks the pod with feet and fist, he beats Hunter down before sending him back into the ring. He signals for the spear and comes charging in, but Hunter hits him in the head with the sledgehammer for the win. WHAT? Post-Match: Evolution beat the shit out of Goldberg with the sledgehammer busting him open, they handcuff him to the chamber and proceed to hit him with the sledgehammer. With Hunter telling him he will ever see the world title EVER! Okay that match ruled, Orton/Jericho/Shawn being the work horses was damn good, Nash looked strong, and Goldberg was on another level when he got in. But that just leaves me to Hunter and the ending. Now I’m a huge HHH fan I think the world of the guy and I remember watching this as a kid and I loved it cause I was and am HHH4Life but it really should have been Goldberg winning the match, and sending the fans home happy. He was so over, and Hunter had an injured groin he could barely move. Plus they just randomly ended Goldberg’s WWE winning streak with no build it’s just weird and wrong. ***1/2

 

[Keith]

A few random thoughts here.

That feud with Vince and I Quit Match was the first time I really believed in her as a face (much better heel), and Vince did a steller job as always.

No matter how bad Steiner was in WWE I still say that feud with Test was underrated mostly because of Stacy's involvement in it.

Trish VS. Molly feud

Have not watch that Summerslam in years. Coach's heel turn was one of my highlights of 03, don't care what anyone says he was hot as a heel!
The booking in that Chamber was all off, and I still preferr the first one.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 08/25/2003
Tucsan, Arizona

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

So before Raw starts, we get exclusive footage of off-air at Goldberg after the Elimination Chamber.

Goldberg comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he yells that the world title is his and Triple H knows it. He calls Triple H out, and outcome Evolution. lol @ Flair wearing a Hawaiian shirt, Hunter wearing this bright ass pink one and Orton in this boring white one. Goldberg asks him for a one on one match right now, Triple H takes pff his shirt and tells him to look at him. He’s not bigger than him; he’s not badder than him. Triple H says he proved it last night when he beat the top 5 guys last night. He proved that he is the best wrestler alive today, and the best body. Goldberg says he’s right about one thing, he’s gonna come after him all the time. In the arena, at his home and in his dreams. He’s gonna stalk him until he gets what he wants, and this time he’s gonna beat his ass to death. Triple H says Goldberg is nothing different he’s gonna beat him like he’s beaten everyone else. Goldberg says what makes him different is he’s GOLDBERG! Triple H says, he’s Goldberg and I’m sick of it. He then says the only reason he’s standing in that ring is because Flair and Orton pulled him back last night. Triple H says he’s starting to piss him off so he challenges Goldberg at Unforgiven for the World Title, with on extra stipulation if Hunter wins Goldberg leaves wrestling forever. Goldberg again accepts.

Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim
The match started off fun, while Trish is making her way to the ring Gail jumps her. Eventually the match starts and it’s still fun with Gail’s offense being a side headlock anyway once Trish broke the hold and had her comeback, she would win with the Stratusfaction. Post-Match: Molly ran down and laid out Trish on the ramp. Molly then got in, and attacked Gail Kim. *3/4

Backstage: Molly Holly has Gail Kim by the throat yelling at her, she says she is the one who got Gail Kim into the company in the first place and they should team up to get rid of the somebody that keeps standing in their way, Trish Stratus. Gail Kim says Trish Stratus doesn't have a chance.

In the ring; Theodore “R” Long introduces his newest "Playah", the World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry. He then tells the "White Boys" to get out here now Holla! Holla! Holla!

Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade vs. Mark Henry & Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long)
SQUASH!

Backstage: Lance Storm tells Goldust that he set him up last week by sending him into the Diva's locker room, and Goldust says that he thinks Lance Storm is now in a great relationship. Lance Storm says "You call this a great relationship?" and we see MINIDUST humping his leg.

Backstage: Rosey is running around backstage looking for something to rescue. Some chick tells him that there is a guy with a gun in the ring, and he runs off to save the day. The Hurricane enters and realizes that it's not a real gun, but an air gun, used to shoot t-shirts into the crowd. Rosey enters the ring and squashed the guy who was firing t-shirts out Hurricane runs out and tells Rosey he just squashed an innocent man. RIP!

Terri Runnels interviews Stone Cold Steve Austin; Austin says he was shocked when Jonathan Coachman tried to help Eric Bischoff last night. He then says he beat up Coach and Eric in self defense, but they had it coming. Eric Bischoff enters with sunglasses and a hat, and tells Steve Austin to tell the truth. Bischoff says he's taken it upon himself to name Jonathan Coachman "Employee of the Month" and tells Austin not to interfere.

The Dudley Boyz & Spike Dudley vs. La Resistance
Before the match; Conway cuts a promo and the match sucked. Fuck this entire feud.

Chris Jericho comes out for the Highlight Reel, with special guest Linda McMahon. Jericho says that he could have won the chamber match last night, and should have won, if it wasn't for Goldberg. Jericho shows footage from last week of Eric forcing himself on Linda, Linda comes out and says Eric is a very creative liar, but after the segment aired, he was quickly escorted out by security. She says Eric was lecherous and unprofessional, and she considered firing him, but she thinks Vince would rehire him no matter what; just to stick it to Shane. Suddenly, Vince McMahon’s music hits and outcomes Vince, he reveals that he was the one who invited Eric Bischoff to their house last week. He says Linda is no victim. Vince says HE'S the victim...of their failed marriage, of the fans, and of the products of her demon infested womb. Vince blames Linda for their kids hating him Linda cuts in and says that Vince McMahon needs psychological help. Vince says he feels a lot like Kane, because everybody all turned their back on him. Shane McMahon comes out now, and agrees that Vince McMahon is a lot like Kane, ‘cause they are both monsters. Jericho yells at him and says to respect Vince McMahon and to respect his father. He calls Shane an asshole for not respecting his dad, and says that highlight reel is for invited guests only, and Shane McMahon wasn't invited. Shane says that asshole is his dad. Shane and Vince face off, but Jericho nails Shane with the microphone. Vince then announces Chris Jericho will face Shane McMahon tonight.

Randy Orton (w/Ric Flair) vs. Maven (w/Shawn Michaels)
The match they had earlier in the year was much better; mainly because this was a squash/angle advancement matches. The match would end when Shawn hit Flair with the Sweet Chin Music on the floor, and Orton hit the RKO on Maven. He refused to cover though, and hit him with the Sweet Chin Music, while looking at Shawn, to win

In the ring; Eric Bischoff awards the "Employee of the Month" to Jonathan Coachman. Coachman says his boss asked him to do something last night, and he did his job, he says that Eric Bischoff recognizes talent, unlike Steve Austin, and he understands that he's not wanted around RAW, and looks up at Jim Ross. He then shows footage of Jim Ross kicking The Coach out of the announce booth two weeks ago. Coachman says that he was genuinely hurt by that treatment He says he did such a great job, that people didn't even realize JR was gone He says he didn't even get a thank you from Jim Ross for filling in. Coachman says that he thought Jim Ross was more professional than that, and owes him an apology. But first he wants Steve Austin to come out and apologize. Instead, Christian's music hits and he says that nobody deserves an apology more than him, for being left out of Summerslam. Austin's then comes out and says Coachman couldn't carry Jim Ross' jock strap. He says that he's not sorry about what he did to The Coach, but he has a sympathy card. Austin reaches into an envelope and pulls out a middle finger and flips off the Coach Coachman says that Austin's handpicked broadcasters are a joke. Lawler stands up with the microphone, and offers to stick that award where the sun doesn't shine. Christian takes a fit and says that he's tired of being ignored, so Austin sets up an Intercontinental title match between Christian & Jerry Lawler tonight AND CALLS HIM A CREEPY BASTARD!!!!! IT HAS BEGUIN!

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Christian
Jonathan Coachman joins Jim Ross in the announce booth, and they bicker during the whole match. So this was obviously the best thing of the night, which is sad. The match is mostly Christian beating up Lawler; Lawler does have a nice little comeback which leads to Coachman leaving commentary and going down to ringside, he pulls Jerry out of the ring as they the run around leading to Christian rolling up King for the win, using the tights. Way to make the IC champ look credible. *3/4

Backstage: Coach and Christian brag about the win, and Austin comes over. He books Lawler vs. Coach for next week. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Chris Jericho vs. Shane McMahon
Before the match, Kane is walking around in the shadows backstage. This is beyond awful, I love Shane I really do but Shane in straight up singles matches not against Rock is just terrible. Kane’s music hits but he doesn’t come out, that allows Jericho to jump Shane and begins to dominate the match, Shane’s comeback sucked, Jericho tried to make it look credible but just the rest of Raw it was terrible. Thankfully Kane comes out chokeslamming Shane for the DQ. Kane walks off through the crowd. He makes sure to wait in the crowd as Shane gets up, getting Shane to follow him. Shane follows him. Shane gets to the parking lot around a very odd ramp and platform next to a big dumpster. Kane attacks him and brings him on the platform. He finds a row of gasoline cans, Kane starts a dumpster fire. He tries to throw Shane in, but he gets out and kicks Kane down into the gigantic fire. Shane gets up, and says "Burn in hell, you son of a bitch." as Kane is presumably dead to end Raw. RIP!

 

[Chris]

That fucking Kane/Shane feud RAW 2003 was such a mess but not as bad as 02

 

[Keith]

Sounds like a respectable raw considering summer 03 was that brands best period.

Molly VS. Trish represents Women's golden period in WWE IMO.

Coachman was such a great heel, him getting EOTM and Austin debuting CLB are the other highlights from this show.

At least one too many matches featuring non-wrestlers though.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 08/28/2003 (A night before Fab’s 12th birthday)
El Paso, Texas

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Eddie Guerrero arrives in the parking lot with a low-rider to a huge pop before coming out and walking down the steps through the crowd to the ring. As the crowd chants “Eddie, Eddie, Eddie” Eddie's family is also at ringside. Eddie gets on the mic; and says. It’s great to be home. He talks about how he's from El Paso and speaks in Mexican a lot. He tells a story about his Great, Great, Great grandma illegally crossing the border and lying to the cop who asked if she belonged here, cheating on the citizenship test, and stealing a donkey to ride back home after she became a citizen Suddenly, John Cena comes out cuts a rap. But before he is gets to say a word he’s getting monster heat. He says Eddie is gay, and he doesn’t belong here and he’s gonna call border control. He calls out Eddie for having the US Title when he's not even a citizen. "I'll pin you in the Gulf of Mexico, leave you with a broken wet back" EDDIE IS PISSED! And gets in Cena’s face, Eddie says his rap sucked and challenges him to fight him right now, but Cena refuses until Eddie puts up the US Title, and Eddie agrees. Cena says when he takes his title he will also take his sister, which leads into a brawl for a bit before John Cena is thrown over the top rope. Eddie puts Cena's Massachusetts Jersey on just to taunt him.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Nunzio
Before the match; The referee bans The Full Blooded Italians from ringside. This was a ton of fun for the short time it got, Nunzio being super aggressive with Rey using his quickness to counter. Rey hitting a diving top rope corkscrew was sweet. He misses a 619 which allowed Nunzio to drop him chest first onto the barricade. He would put on a rest hold but Rey didn’t take any of that and would hit the bulldog followed by a crossbody and senton for two. Great spot with Rey hitting the 619 but the west coast pop got countered into a powerbomb for two, minutes later Rey would drop a springboard legdrop for the win. Good Rey showcase, with Nunzio looking competitive. **1/2 - **3/4

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train (w/Sable)
So this is VIOLENT! Not on the level as the earlier match in the year was but still good. Early portion was both men hitting one another as hard as possible, but once Train crushes Benoit’s mid-section on the top turn buckle. That allows him to take control; Train hitting the implant buster into the knee was fuckin’ incredible as well as Benoit’s selling and bumping. He begins to chop Train down by taking out his knees and hits the diving headbutt for two. Train fights out of the crossface and hits the derailed for two. I should have mentioned earlier that Train took of the top turnbuckle pad, so as Benoit is getting to his feet he sees this and slowly backs into it. Well a charging Train comes running towards him, and Benoit moves and Train hits the steel. BUT HE NO SELLS! And Benoit locks in the Crossface but Trains legs are under the ropes but the ref doesn’t see it and Train taps out.

Backstage: So Mexican worker comes rushing up to Eddie, telling him someone is messing around with his car. Eddie rushes off.

Backstage: A-Train and Benoit yell at each other. A-Train yells that Benoit can't beat him. A-Train shoves Benoit back, and RHYNO GOARS HIM THROUGH THE DOOR!!!!

In the parking lot: Eddie finds out someone has stolen the front driver's side wheel of his low-rider He asks the APA if they saw anything, OJ and Funaki. The FBI come over and starts laughing so Eddie attacks them.

THE REAL BORK LASER, come down to the ring. He’s limping He tells the people to shut up and sit-down cause he’s got something to say. He tells the people that say to him how he tapped out. TO SHUT UP! HE’S SICK OF IT. He says what happen at Summerslam was a damn fluke; no it was a miracle and a mirage because Brock Lesnar doesn't tap out. EVER! HE’S NOT A QUITTER DAMMIT! He says the thing that happen to him at summerslam that didn’t happen was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him. He says the people that say to him it’s no shame on tapping out to a gold medalist are filled with BULLSHIT!! Yes that’s right with no bleep Brock calling himself special, dammit Brock says that if people think his feud with Kurt Angle is over, they're wrong. He demands another match. Kurt shows up on the tron and says he used to be just like Brock, bitching and crying like a baby after every loss, but he's learned that the fans don't care about bitching, they care about action. Kurt Angle threatens to come out to confront him but suddenly, The Undertaker's music hits and the Taker rides his motorbike down to ringside.Taker says that Brock has had his chance at the WWE title, and he tapped out. He then says the rule of the yard says that Brock Lesnar has to go to the back of the line and it's been a long time since HE got a title shot. Taker implies that Brock Lesnar is trespassing on "his Yard" and wants to help him out of the Yard. Big Show now comes out; Show says that there's been enough talking about the #1 Contendership and he's inflicted more pain on Brock, Taker, and Angle than anybody else. Kurt not comes out and says, he doesn't care who he faces. He’'d like to make any of them tap out. Steph comes out now and says she sets up a match for tonight; Brock vs. Taker vs. Big Show and the winner face Kurt Angle for the WWE Title.

Josh Mathews interviews John Cena, he asks him if he had anything to do with Eddie Guerrero's car being vandalized. Cena says El Paso has an awful crime rate. He says he sometimes says too much on the mic, but he's not messing with another man's ride.

WWE United States Championship: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena
John Cena walks out with Eddie's tire under his arm, He brags that he can lie, cheat, and steal too, BUT HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT! Eddie runs out behind him and they brawl to start the match. Eddie throws him head first into the steps and Cena has a little cut on his forehead. The early portion is all Eddie, it’s just like the Taker matches as he takes a beating early on and it takes him a while to get going but when he does he’s right with the more experiences opponent. Huge Cena clothesline before he begins to choke Eddie, he breaks just to tell the ref “he has until 5” It’s still all Eddie here, Cena gets a few shots in but he showing he no match for Eddie in his home town. Eddie begins to pissed and talks shit, he brings the tire in the ring but the ref stops him. But it was all part of his plan to distract the ref allowing him to hit him in the back with a chair. AWESOME! Eddie goes up top but panders too long and misses the Frog Splash. This allows Cena to get into it as he viciously whips Eddie into the steps that bump was nasty. Cena begins to work the lower back with pound and ground offense. He got several 2 counts; Cena use of the bear hug actually looked good. Eddie’s comeback was amazing, he was selling the entire time but with have this mini-flurry and aggressive strikes added in. Eddie counters the FU into a Victory Roll with no pin before pushing Cena into the ref. Eddie then heads up top and hits the Frog Splash for two. Two suplexs are cut off when Cena low blows him and the match ends in DQ. Post-Match: Cena wraps the chain around his fist and hits Eddie in the head with it busting him open. Cena throws the ref out of the ring before using the chain to choke Eddie with it. Cena’s not done yet as he rolls the tire into the ring and FU’s Eddie onto it. Awesome time, both guys come to play. ***1/2

Video package of Gowen being murdered last week airs.

#1 Contender's Match For The WWE Championship: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show
Kurt Angle comes down to do some commentary. The early portion is Show and Brock teaming up and trying to take Taker out of the match. It’s mostly your turn, my turn offense until Show clotheslines Taker to the floor and Bork uses the time to jump him. That doesn’t last long as Show gets the better. Gotta love the Brock belly-to-belly to Show, but that gets broken up as Taker takes the fight to both men. Snake eyes connects but he misses the clothesline which allows Brock to pick him up in the F5 but a Show superkick ends that. Show tries to chokeslam Taker but Taker counters into an armbar but Brock breaks it up. Taker/Brock interaction is dope, as Taker clotheslines Brock over the top but the momentum follows with Taker and his arm and wrist gets caught up in the rope. Taker looks legit hurt. This allows Brock to attempt the F5 into the post but Taker counters by shoving him into the post. Show comes back and nails them with chairs. Another one to Brock takes him out of the match for now leaving it to Show/Taker. At one point Taker locks in the triangle choke but Brock breaks it up with an elbow, later in the match Taker hits a chokeslam on Brock for two but Show pulls the ref out. Show then hits a chokeslam on Taker but Brock breaks up the pin (I should mention generic babyface main event Angle is awful) Brock hitting a vertical suplex on Show but Taker breaks up the count. Takers right hands are on fuckin’ point as he’s killing Show with them but as he turns around Brock F5’s him for a one count. Show now chokeslams Brock for two, SHOW IS PISSED! So places Brock on top like he is going for a top rope superplex, but Taker breaks it up. Brock tries another superplex on Show but Taker catches him in the last ride for the win. This was actually a lot better than I remember it being, gotta enjoy 3 big dudes just beating the shit out of one another. ***

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 09/01/2003
Lafayette, Louisiana

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

We get a video package showcasing the events of last with Kane getting murdered in that dumpster full of fire. RIP!

Jerry Lawler vs. Jonathan Coachman
FUCK OFF! Before the match; JR saying he thought he'd have to inform us that Kane was dead, but apparently he'll be here tonight. This match sucked so I will skip to the end when Al Snow came out with a mic begging for the match to stop, he tells Coach that he's not a wrestler, he's an announcer, but Coach refuses to give up he pleads and begs for Jerry Lawler to stop, because The Coach is embarrassing the Sunday Night Heat program Coach gets out of the ring and says he doesn't need Al Snow's help. Snow then attacked Lawler and before throwing him into the ringpost, and back into the ring, where Coach drops and elbow for the win. Coach and Al Snow celebrated on the ramp while staring down Jim Ross at the announce position.

Backstage: Terri asks Shane McMahon about Kane's disappearance after the burning incident and

Shane says he “hopes that bastard is still burning"

Backstage: Al Snow tells The Coach that it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Eric Bischoff walks in and pretends to be upset, but changes his mind and congratulates them on their plan. Austin then interrupts and says he's gonna do something special just for The Coach.

The Highlight Reel set is up, but Steve Austin comes down and destroys it. He tells JR to stand up, and he books JR vs. Coach at Unforgiven UGH!!!! Austin takes a drink of beer for the working man. Before making the match; of Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels at Unforgiven. Austin takes another swing of beer for the working man and books six-man tag between the Evolution vs. Goldberg, Shawn Michaels & Maven tonight. Chris Jericho comes out now, and says nobody cancels his show. He yells at Austin for not booking him in main events at Unforgiven, because he's the one people pay to see. He tells Austin to get down on his knees, apologize, kiss his boots, and show him some respect JUNIOR! Austin shows him respect by giving him the middle finger. Christian's music hits, and he comes down to the ring. He complains and demands respect, Austin says since a Christian sound like he wants action and so does Jericho, they have a match tonight. Jericho says he's not even in gear, and it doesn’t matter ‘cause no one can beat them. Austin it's Christian vs. Jericho for the IC championship.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Chris Jericho
Fans chanting boring as the counter wrestling to start This was fun not on the level of 2004 but still good. The early portion was all respect but once Jericho tries to cheat by putting his feet on the ropes, things go 0-100 with slaps before Jericho throws him into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Jericho takes off the turnbuckle and uses a string to choke Christian with it. Christian comes back with a big clothesline and begins working the head and neck area of Jericho choking him. The match turns into a back and forth affair with both men attempting to out cheat the other. The match would end when, Jericho got caught grabbing the ropes, and the ref kicked his hand off. This allows Christian to grab the tights and the top rope out of the ref's sight to retain his title. **3/4

Backstage: Shane is waiting around when Austin runs into him; he says it best if he leaves. Seeing how Austin is the guy that got Kane this way. And after what happen last week it’s best if he leaves. Shane then says if anything goes down with Kane, he wants to be here.

Jim Ross conducts an interview with Triple H who is backstage; He asks him his thoughts on facing Goldberg. Triple H says he’s anxious to get his hands on Goldberg tonight and at Unforgiven. He says he’s sick to death of the sheep chanting for Goldberg. They believe all the hype and Goldberg is nothing but hype. Triple H calls himself what a wrestler should be HE CALLS HIMSELF THE KING OF KINGS! And says he’s gonna end Goldberg at Unforgiven. Suddenly, Goldberg shows up and gets in his face. He says he gonna kick his ass tonight and he’s gonna kick his ass at Unforgiven and take his title and that’s not a threat it’s a promise.

Molly Holly & Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus & Ivory
This sucked, Ivory took the heat and Trish got the hot tag. The match would end when botches a stratusphere and gets double powerbombed allowing to Gail to pin her for the win. Post-Match: Molly Holly & Gail Kim attacked Ivory after the match with a double DDT.

Backstage: Shane McMahon bumps into Vince asks him what are you doing here. And Vince says he has a right to be here also he is concerned and wants to make things right between he and Shane, Shane says they'll see who's concerned about him out in the ring.

Shane McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, He says that if something bad is gonna happen to him, for it to happen right now. Eric Bischoff comes out sand says he heard Shane McMahon was gonna "get his" tonight so Shane responds by says that if Eric Bischoff is the "bad thing" that's gonna happen, then that's a joke. Suddenly, Kane's music and pyro then hits and scares the crap out of Eric Bischoff. Kane (with 2 separate arm bands ONLY HIS FUCKING ELBOW IS TAPED. HE POURED LIKE FUCKIN’ 9 GASOLINE CANS INTO A FUCKIN’ DUMPSTER AND LIT IT ON FUCKIN’ FIRE, AND FELL INTO IT FOR FUCK SAKE, AND ONLY HIS FUCKING ELBOW IS FUCKIN’ BANGED UP?! FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!) Kane sneaks up behind Shane in the dark and attacks him, He throws the steel steps into Shane’s head before handcuffing Shane’s wrists to the top of the ringpost and begins to pours water all over Shane, Kane then gets a pair of jumper cables out from under the ring along with a car battery out and attaches the jumper cables to Shane's wet crotch! Kane teases Shane McMahon by tapping the cables to the battery. As Shane yells he’s gonna kill him. Rob Van Dam runs down and makes the save, and cautiously removes the cables from Shane's balls. RVD then nails Kane with a Van Daminator in the middle of the ring, before taking off the handcuffs, as a bloody Kane sits up and retreats.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff promises to make it up to Kane by giving him a Cage match with RVD next week.

La Resistance vs. The Hurricane & Rosey
NO!

Backstage: Terri interviews Maven, she asks him about the biggest match of his young career tonight when he teams with Goldberg and Shawn Michaels. He says; he's been working so hard and has been waiting for the opportunity to step into the ring with the best in the business. Suddenly, Randy Orton and Ric Flair walk over. Flair says he's good, but they're the best. He says Maven's got a lot of talent, but he's not Evolution good. Orton asks how many times he has to beat Maven before he gets it and gets that Evolution has passed him by. Flair tells him not to put himself where he doesn't want to be tonight.

Backstage: Shawn Maichaels finds Maven and tells him not to worry, he says he probably has not earned this and Maven snaps so Shawn says you are right he has earned this and don’t worry its all about having fun. And they will have fun against Evolution.

Backstage: Teddy Long is complaining about being left off RAW, and Austin says he had to add a match at the last minute, so Mack & Mark got bumped. RVD then comes over and says he's cool with the cage match next week. But requests that Steve Austin make sure the cage match is the very first match on RAW, Austin wishes him luck, and agrees to make it happen.

Backstage: Stacy Keibler calls Test a jerk for making her dance for his friends and carry his bags And says that they were once a great team, and praises her "testicles" marketing idea. He then says he's got another great idea, and they can even go out to Stacy's music.

No Disqualification Match: Test & Stacy Keibler vs. Steven Richards & Victoria
This was all trash, at one point Test dropped off the apron as Stacy was trying to make the hot tag. Test held Stacy up so Victoria could slap her, but Stacy moved, and Victoria slapped Test. Scott Steiner has seen enough and runs down to cleaned house. Test tries to attack Scotty but accidentally clotheslines Victoria, they brawls through the crowd as Stacy crawls over and pins Victoria for the win. Stevie Richards grabs Stacy Keibler by the hair, but Scott Steiner came back to make the save. Test pulled Stacy Keibler out of the ring and dragged her up the ramp.

Evolution vs. Bill Goldberg, Shawn Michaels & Maven
Shawn and Orton start, but Maven tags in right away and take the fight to Orton early. But a uppercuts puts an end to that, as Evolution mainly Flair and Orton begin to beat on the young man. Triple H is too injured so he is pretty limited. Great moment, when Maven makes a comeback and gets too excited so Shawn stops him and tags himself in, Flair/Shawn sequence is cool as he cleans house against Evolution before diving over the top with a plancha taking all 3 out. When they get back into the ring; Triple H distracts the ref long enough allowing Flair to poke Shawn in the eyes and deliver the low blow for good measure. The heat on Shawn was great, he bump and sold well for everyone. And Evolution domination by cutting the ring off in half with big moves towards the back, with quick tags to further wears Shawn out. Triple H gets too cocky as he gets into the face of Goldberg allowing Shawn to hit the flying clothesline. Goldberg hot tag rules as he murders Orton, and kills Flair with a spear. But Triple H jumps him from behind. Goldberg spears Orton as Triple H looks on in fear; Goldberg follows up with a Jackhammer for the win staring at Triple H the entire time. Match was damn good one of the few bright spots on this piece of shit show. ***

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 09/04/2003
New Orleans, Louisiana

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

WWE Tag Team Championship: World's Greatest Tag Team vs. APA
So Cole says this has been a “feud” since Bradshaw accused Shelton of being Shaniqua. Although that hasn't been mentioned since and that was like a month ago, and the tag champs have not been seen in 3 weeks. DA FUCK! THIS IS SOME RAW SHIT! This is okay, not good. Shelton and Charlie so above this, APA are so washed up and not in the 2000 level this is even worse. All 4 brawl to start, until WGTT use the double team frog splash back breaker to gain control, this is only 2 minutes in and everything is sloppy UGH! The champs work over Faarooq, for a while until Hass misses a crossbody allowing Bradshaw to get the hot tag. He cleans house and actually looks decent, he kills Hass with a powerbomb for two before tagging Faarooq back in and he nails Hass with a spinebuster for two. The match breaks down as Bradshaw hits the clothesline from hell but as he covers Hass puts Shelton’s foot on the rope. Bradshaw then tries to grab Hass on the floor but instead Hass hits him in the head with the title belt and Shelton covers for three. Meh!

Backstage: Eddie Guerrero is polishing his ride, when a limo pulls up and Big Show, Vince McMahon & Sable got out. Brock Lesnar comes over and asks what the hell this is. Show and Sable go inside, and Brock asks why Vince hasn't called him since SummerSlam, and why he won't return his calls.

Vince says he will talk to him when he WANTS to talk to him. He then says Brock Lesnar tapped out to Kurt Angle at SummerSlam and blew his chance. Brock looks like he's about to snap after hearing those words, but instead Vince tells Brock Lesnar to "take a chill pill" and follow him to his office.

Backstage: Vince says he showed up here tonight and Brock Lesnar tried to embarrass him, he knows who Brock Lesnar is, but Brock Lesnar doesn't know who he is! Vince says that Brock Lesnar is a MONSTER, and slaps him across the face!! Brock Lesnar grabs Vince McMahon and gets an intense maniacal look on his face, which turned into a grin.

John Cena comes out in a sweet Pacers jersey, he cuts a RAP about how he could jack Eddie ride and he shows footage of the beat down on Eddie. He brags about punking Eddie out in front of his own family. He then claims he used Eddie like he uses the hoes in a girls gone wild clip, he then calls Eddie a bitch and out comes Eddie in his car, and he is PISSED! Eddie gets the better of the two during the brawl. He beats him out of the ring and back in, and Cena nails Eddie with the US Title. Cena quickly bails, and also steals Eddie's low rider before Eddie can get up.

During the break: Cena drove out of the arena in Eddie's low rider.

Backstage: Eddie Guerrero is complaining to the General Manager about Cena stealing his car, so Stephanie says Eddie Guerrero can have John Cena in any match he wants next week. He says it'll be a street fight in the parking lot. He says he's gonna show Cena what thug is all about.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train (w/Sable)
A-Train works on the back and ribs from the Gore through the door last week, and Benoit bumps and sells it like only he can. This also only got like 4 minutes, which is a shame but they did enough and everything meant something. I also loved that they played off the spot last week with leg under the rope, but this time Benoit’s foot is under the rope. But this time the ref would see it. The match would end after a ref bump before Rhyno runs in and tries the Gore, but he misses and hits A-Train. Benoit throws him out, and covers to win. **1/2

A sit-down interview with Undertaker airs; he says Kurt is the real deal, legitimate Olympic gold medalist. He has to call Kurt the best because he's got the title that proves it. He respects the WWE Title more than anything, and he'll let Kurt break his ankle before he taps out, and intends to keep this match on their feet by throwing bombs at him with punches until he can’t see straight and not let Kurt get his submissions, and he will be the one to show Kurt what a submission and if that doesn’t work well a tombstone or last ride will.

Backstage: Torrie & Nidia help each other prepare for the bikini contest, as Nidia shows up her epic dance moves. She then rubs sun tan on her ass

A sit-down interview with Kurt Angle airs; he says he respects Taker a lot, but he'll still make him tap out tonight, and if it’s a fight Taker wants, it’s a fight he’s gonna get. He will leave New Orleans as WWE Champion.

Vince McMahon & The Big Show are guarding the office of the General Manager, Steph comes by and demands to know what is going on in her office. Vince McMahon says he needs it to take care of some business. Well actually Brock Lesnar is taking care of some business for him.

WWE Championship: The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle
Cole points out during Takers entrance that he has he wrist all bandaged up because he dislocated it last week, he then points out that if he knows then Kurt knows too. Amazing feeling out process to start with Kurt trying to outwrestle Taker but Taker would use the power and strength to keep him away. Love the psychology early on, with Taker trying to not go to the mat, and Kurt always going to the mat. The one time Taker does try to go to the mat, he almost loses, and as soon as he can, he starts throwing the “bombs” he promised. Taker wastes no time with old school, but Kurt would comeback with German’s he would get a nice nearfall with a jacknife pin which just pissed Taker off and he drills him with a right hand. Taker begins to control the pace now. First by hitting the apron legdrop, then driving him spine first into the ring-post. Back in the ring; Kurt tries to come back with punches but fails, so he goes to a sleeper which works better. Taker would break it with a side suplex, he then tries to lock in the Dragon sleeper but Kurt saw it coming and connects with the belly-to-belly for two. The match would turn into the back-and-forth affair with both men hitting big moves and sweet counters. EG Kurt catching Takers leg after hitting attempting a leg drop, Kurt would also hit an angle slam but that would get kicked out of and so would Taker’s chokeslam. Taker signals for the Last Ride, but Kurt sunset flips out into an Ankle Lock AWESOME! Taker would manage to roll and lock in a fuckin’ armbar Kurt would counter that with a roll-up for two before going back to the Ankle lock. Taker would counter that into the triangle choke Kurt would look to be out cold but stays alive and puts his put on the rope to break the hold. I should point out Takers Ankle selling is on point, Taker selling cost him as he misses a big boot and Kurt locks in the ankle lock again but because he’s on the ropes he is forced to break. That allows Taker to choke Kurt on the top rope before throwing more awesome punches to Kurt’s lacerated cheek, Kurt again tries to comeback with punches of his own but walks into a big boot. Taker ties anther Chokeslam and again Kurt rolls through into another Ankle Lock. Nice roll through by Taker as he hits a 2nd chokeslam. Last Ride connects but Brock Lesnar comes in and murders Taker with a chair shot for a DQ. Brock mostly wears out Kurt with the chair, and then beats on Taker's ankle with the chair. He grabs the WWE title and nails Kurt in the head with it before holds the WWE Title up over both men, before walking off. I FUCKIN’ LOVE ALL OF THIS! ****1/2

After the commercial; Footage is shown of The Undertaker collapsing backstage, and Kurt Angle was getting medical attention.

Highlights of the Bourbon Street Bikini Contest air. Unshockingly, Torrie wins. Shaniqua runs down and attacks everyone but Sable, who bails.

Backstage: Faarooq was upset about not winning the tag team titles tonight. So, Bradshaw says he's got a surprise for Faarooq and shows him the old APA Protection door (okay I popped) Bradshaw unlocks the door and says they're back in business, and they even have a butler now. Bradshaw says he won him in a poker game. Faarooq says you can't win a man in a poker game, but Bradshaw says he won a deed for him. Faarooq asks what they need with a butler, so he opens the trey and outcome beer and cigars

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri
So this is awesome, WWE title should have closed the show but seeing how they closed the show this was a nice I don’t wanna call it a filler because it was awesome and accomplished something but IDK! Anyway yeah, the quick counter to start was dope. Tajiri’s kicks are on point, and so was his aggression I love Rey using the ref to help with a headscissors but that would get outshined as Rey tries to springboard but would get kicked in the head. More vicious kicks, as Taz notes something is different in Tajiri tonight he’s taking more time and being vicious. He would begin to target the arm, Rey would manage to fight off and send Tajiri to the outside before hitting a sweet torpido dive to the floor. Back in; Tajiri would attempt top rope suplex but that would get countered. Springboard into the bulldog would get two, and a Senton would get another two. Tajiri would roll through for a two of his own before going back to the arm. Rey’s selling was pretty much none of it to speak of which sucked Sick kick would miss as Rey would hit the 619 but as he goes for the splash Tajiri would kick him in the face before hitting the michinoku driver for two Rey tries his own Tarantula but fails so Tajiri kicks the shit out of him for stealing his move. He tries a keylock but gets pushed down and Rey would hit the west coast pop for the win. Another really great match between these two and another great SD match. Post-match: THEY SHAKE HANDS, BUT TAJIRI SPRAYS THE MIST! FUCK YEAH! BUZZSAW KICK! FUCK YEAH, HEEL TAJIRI IS BAAAAAAAACK!!!! FUCK YEAAAAAA!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEES! RIP GOWIN!​

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 09/08/2003
Huntsville, Alabama

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

Steel Cage Match: Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
Right out the gate Lawler has the cheesiest line ever as the cage is lowering he says “this should be one for the cages” UGH! The match starts off with Kane jumping RVD as soon as he gets into the cage, but RVD uses his quickness and his body as a weapon just launching himself at cage as much as he can, but he tries one too many and Kane catches him and throws him into the cage. JR calls it “Lawn dart, City” Kane now begins to control the match by choking and throwing RVD into the cage mesh. RVD has a nice little comeback(s) it just annoys me that he refuses to sell anything, his selling is that stupid sucking wind look on his face. Great spot when Kane is trapped in-between the ropes and cage and RVD hits a rolling crossbody. Late in the match; RVD has the opportunity to climb out but instead tries the Frog Splash that misses. This allows Kane to hit a shitty backwards powerbomb hanging RVD on the top rope. Kane now begins to continually throw RVD into the cage but on the 2nd one RVD breaks the cage for the win As soon as RVD hits the mat Eric Bischoff comes out on the stage and restarted the match, saying RVD didn't escape through the door or climb out. He ordered the referees to put Rob Van Dam's body back inside the cage it’s bad when even Lawler questions how fast Eric came out. UGH! Anyway the match restarts as Kane slams the cage door onto RVD opening the cut on his forehead even more. The match would end like a minute later as Kane hit a chokeslam from the side of the cage on the top rope for the win. Post-Match: RVD gets stretchered out. This is not good, slow Plodding, no real chemistry or anything. I will say it’s better than that SSlam match and much better than the Cage matches we see today. **1/2

Eric Bischoff comes out on the stage again, he says before Austin comes out later and gives the State of Raw Address he has a few things to say. He announces Kane vs. Shane at Unforgiven. The match between Good Ol’ Jr. and Coach has now been changed; it will be JR. and The King vs. Coach and Al Snow NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And the reason for doing this is because Jr. and The King suck, the winning team will be the new broadcast team on Raw NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The era of Slobber Knockers and Puppies is about to come to an end. Bischoff then says he will get his money’s worth out of Goldberg tonight since he won’t be around much longer, he makes a tag team match with Triple H vs. Goldberg; they each will have a surprise partner of his choosing.

Backstage: Lance storm and Goldust are shown talking, Lance asks him what if the fans chant boring, Goldust tells him he isn’t boring. Who was the one who was jay walking last week? Who was it that got the double cheeseburger? Who was it that was pleasuring himself with a porno popup magazine last week? Lance says that was you lmao Goldust tells him to go out and kick Rico’s ass in front of all the Storm troopers Lance then does the Goldust taunt and leaves.

Lance Storm (w/Goldust) vs. Rico (w/Miss Jackie)
So before the match; Rico tells Storm that he will never be anything more than boring, boring, boring, Lance Storm smacks Rico, sending him outside the ring. Goldust gets the microphone and starts a "Rico sucks!" chant, as fir the match it was a basic Lance showcase, Rico got some shit in. Meh! Lance would win when he would make out with Jackie on the apron before hitting a springboard missile dropkick.

Backstage: Triple H bumps into Eric Bischoff, he asks Eric who is Goldberg and who is his tag partner. Bischoff says if he tells him it won’t be a surprise. Triple H starts to threaten him. Bischoff says he hopes that he isn’t trying to threaten him. So Triple H says it wasn’t that at all, he just wanted to make sure the wrong person didn’t get hurt, and then he walks off.

Trish Stratus & Jacqueline vs. Gail Kim & Molly Holly
You know what I’m really sick of these weekly, Trish and said partner vs. Gail/Molly matches ‘case they fuckin’ suck. And not even Trish’s hawtness is even making this watchable. SKIP!

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring; which was covered with a red carpet and a podium. He picked up the podium and sent it flying over the top rope, saying he didn't need it. Austin says he has a few things to get off his mind before the State of the Address. First, he knows Triple H is going to do anything he can to keep the title, thus if he get disqualified or counted out then he loses his title. He then talks about Kane and the reckless path (JR burning, Linda tombstone, Shane's testicles) Austin says he met with his (liquor) cabinet over the weekend and made a decision, that the fact that he can't free whoop a man's ass when he wants, absolutely sucks. He is the interrupted by Christian; he says what sucks is that he's the Intercontinental Champion, and not getting any respect. He then tells Austin that he wants his own talk show, he knows they already have the Highlight Real but he beat Jericho last week, he’s hot and Jericho is not. Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring and attacks Christian by throwing him out of the ring. Austin says Jericho just showed him something, he likes what he just did. Jericho says that Steve Austin is just a bully, who got a little power and went out of control he continues to call Austin a failure as a GM and a failure as a human being He says not a day goes by he doesn’t pray that Austin gets fired. Jericho then says he doesn’t think Austin should cancel the Highlight Real, Austin says he wasn’t going to do that, he likes the show. Austin asks Jericho if he wants to whine and bitch or if he wants to drink beer with him, Jericho says he's not a "stupid moronic redneck from the south” and that Steve Austin can't lay a hand on him unless he is physically provoked. So he agrees to drink beer with Austin. Austin calls for a couple of beers and throws one to Y2J, who drops it. Austin improvises and gently tosses two more beers towards Chris Jericho Chris Jericho drink, and gives Steve Austin a few pats on the back (consider yourself physically provoked) Austin kicks Jericho in the gut and delivered a Stone Cold Stunner.

La Resistance, Rodney Mack & Mark Henry (w/Teddy Long) vs. The Dudleys Boyz, The Hurricane & Rosey
Match sucked donkey dick, but the post-match is great as La Resistance double chokeslammed Spike Dudley over the top rope, but his legs hit the ropes. Spike's head smashed the end of the table; La Resistance then put Hurricane through the table for good measure.

Backstage: Al Snow & The Coach are making fun of Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler's commentating, until Eric Bischoff comes in. He sets up a tables match between The Dudley Boyz and La Resistance & Rob Conway at Unforgiven. Gail Kim enters and asks to talk to Eric Bischoff alone.

Backstage: Terri interviews Triple H; Terri asks him about the tag match later tonight. Triple H says Goldberg is like his can of YJStinger, the difference is YJStinger delivers, all Goldberg does is gives you gas Goldberg is only hype, last week Goldberg promised he would take his title at Unforgiven, tonight he promises he is going to leave Goldberg in a bloody mess.

JR interviews Shane McMahon (from WWE offices in Stamford, CT) He says he is going to get even with Kane. Bischoff interrupts; he wants to know how Shane is feeling, he then says he knows the Shane and Kane match can’t be just any match, it is going to be a last man standing match. Shane says screw you Eric, Bischoff then tells Shane that he doesn’t get it, because it was Bischoff who just screwed Shane.

Backstage: Gail Kim walks up to Molly and Molly asked Kim if Bischoff went for it, Kim says it went better then she thought, it went QUICKER then she thought too. Molly says it is settled, next week they end Trish’s career for good.

Scott Steiner vs. Stevie Richards (w/Victoria)
This is all Scotty; Test & Stacy Keibler were standing around ringside watching the match. At one point Victoria got involved and Steiner pulls her in the ring, as the ref is busy with her that allows Test to runs in and hit Steiner with a cheap shot but Steiner is able to kick out at two. Steiner made a comeback and won the match with a belly to belly. Post-Match: Steiner gets on the Mic and says it's obvious to everybody that Stacy doesn't want to be with Test, Steiner challenged Test to a match at Unforgiven with Stacy once again on the line; Test agreed but also added the stipulation that Steiner himself would be at stake in the match and if he were to lose, he would become Test's bitch too.

Back from a commercial and Coach is in the the ring; Coach sarcastically comments on his tag team match against Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross. He makes a few suggestions on what kind of jobs JR & Jerry Lawler could do after Unforgiven. Oh goodie we even get pixs. Coach challenges JR to get out of his seat and come down to the ring. Lawler comments that Al Snow is in the ring, and joins Jim Ross walking down to ringside. Coach says that Jim Ross is a "worthless loser redneck” and knocks Jim Ross' hat right off his head. JR decks Coach, so Al Snow tries to go after Jim Ross, but Lawler steps between them. Al Snow then checks on The Coach, and Jim Ross kicks him through the middle ropes to the ouside Al Snow gets back up on the apron and Jerry Lawler knocks him right back down. FUCK THIS SHIT!

Triple H & “Surprise Partner” vs. Bill Goldberg & “Surprise Partner”
So after Triple H and Goldberg both make their entrances; Eric Bischoff comes out and introduces Triple H's surprise tag team partner and its Ric Flair. He then introduces Goldberg's surprise tag team partner, Randy Orton! SWERVE! Goldberg attacks all three men and manhandles both Randy Orton & Ric Flair for a few seconds. But the match turns into a 3-on-1 beatdown as the steel cage is lowered down to the ring. Randy Orton goes after Goldberg with a chair, but gets speared. Triple H grabs the chair and kills Goldberg with it, busting him open. He repeatedly throws Goldberg into the steel cage. Leaving him a bloody mess, he begins to trash talk Goldberg and shoves the World title in Goldberg's face, covering the belt with blood. Triple H delivers multiple pedigrees, well he actually messed up with it the first time but then tried it again and got it. Triple H sits at top of the cage with the title belt as Raw goes off the air. He and guess what he leaves Goldberg a bloody mess, just like he promised. WHAT A GOD!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 09/11/2003
Birmingham, Alabama

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

The show opens with a tribute to the heroes and victims of September 11th.

In the parking lot; Brian Hebner is arraigning the vehicles for the Latino Heat parking lot brawl between John Cena and Eddie Guerrero.

Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri & Nunzio
UGH! 2 of the 4 need to fuck off for life; this isn’t bad but it isn’t good, actually that’s a lie. Billy and Rey double teams are cool and Tajiri/Rey interactions are great, but everything else is trash. Kidman who I don’t like at all, it’s not hate it, it’s just I think he’s awful, boring and doesn’t have shit to offer apart from a shitty Shooting Star Press. Plus he got to marry Torrie Wilson, so FUCK HIM! Anyway, back to the match the majority of this is back and forth with Kidman taking the heat with Rey getting the awesome hot tag. The match would end when Kidman takes out Nunzio on the floor with a plancha, and Tajiri ducks out of the way of the 619 and connects with a superkick for the win. Post-match: Tajiri hits Rey with the title belt. **1/2

Backstage: Vince McMahon & Sable & The Big Show who is wearing a suit are talking about what type of flowers to send Zach Gowen,. Vince decides it should be pansies Stephanie McMahon shows up and asks if her father is proud of herself for what they did to Zach Gowan last week. Vince says that Brock Lesnar went into business for himself when he did that, she says she doesn't beleive him, and knows he set up Zach Gowan and Brock Lesnar deserves to be in jail. Brock Lesnar shows up behind her, she trolls him by saying he tap out and Brock gives the greatest fake laugh before saying he'll beat Kurt Angle in the Iron Man match next week to become a 3-time WWE champion. But the real reason he came in here is to ask for a warm-up match, and suggests he fight Kurt Angle, Undertaker & Zach Gowan. Stephanie says Brock Lesnar knows damn well none of them are here tonight. Brock still says he wants to fight someone in the room. All the people, he claims, he fought, except for Stephanie, pointing at her. Vince & Show agree that that match is "Money in the Bank" and "Good for Ratings" Vince then gives Stephanie the option to quit her General Manager's position instead of taking the beating. Stephanie walks out, looking dejected.

Backstage: Nidia convinces Torrie Wilson to talk to Dawn Marie and bury the hatchet; Nidia tries to talk Dawn Marie out of wrestling Shaniqua tonight, stating that its suicide and Dawn says it very well may be, but somebody has to stand up to Shaniqua.

Shelton Benjamin Shaniqua vs. Dawn Marie
NO!

Backstage: Stephanie is thinking about quitting when Sable walks in, and trash talks Stephanie about her 'tough decision'. Sable implies that if Stephanie decides to quit, her father would make the right decision as to who would be the next SmackDown General Manager.

Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
The intensity in this is awesome; Benoit locks in the crossface like a minute in but Rhyno gets to the ropes, he quickly gets to his feet and slaps Benoit which pisses him off and Benoit brings the violence until Rhyno pokes him in the eyes and pulls his tights dropping Benoit throat first onto the middle rope before sending him to the floor. As Rhyno has the ref distracted A-Train runs down and drove Chris Benoit into the spine first into the ringpost. Rhyno begins to control the match, it’s not the best as Rhyno is not the awesome vicious SOB he use to be before the neck injury. He does however hit this awesome shoulderblock in the corner as he has Benoit upside down before locking in a sharpshooter but Benoit got the ropes for a break. Rhyno begins to get cocky which allows Benoit to catch his breath and he locks Rhyno in a sharpshooter of his own. A desperation German leads to a top rope sunset flip powerbomb for two, but Rhyno comes back with a sick spinebuster. Rhyno sets up for the GOAR but when he comes charging in Benoit catches the arm and locks in the crossface and Rhyno taps out. Good shit, I can’t remember the last time a face didn’t have a full comeback? **1/2- **3/4

Backstage: APA have a big poker game going, when Bradshaw says they don't trust most of these guys, but doesn't mind taking their money in poker. APA servant (Bruce) is helping out with drinks and snacks around the table. Matt Hardy comments that he can't believe the APA is exploiting someone of lesser value, as Shannon Moore comes in out of breath, and says he went all over town looking for Matt's favourite Orange Juice. Matt yells at Shannon Moore for getting No Pulp, instead of Extra Pulp. Matt says that the APA degrades Bruce, but he upgrades Shannon Moore. He then says that the APA should be a on a twelve step program for alcoholism, Bradshaw says that Matt Hardy should be on a 2-step program to get Shannon Moore out of his ass and that Moore should get out of Hardy's backside. Hardy gets more upset, and challenges the APA to a match. Bradshaw says let's do it, after the brawl, closes the office, and the superstars head for the site of the next match, the Latino heat parking lot brawl. Before the APA walks away, they both raise a toast to the uniformed services individuals that were involved in all the events that occurred on September 11th.

Latino Heat Parking Lot Brawl: John Cena vs. Eddie Guerrero
Cena cuts a rap before Eddie show cut; he says he can’t even beat his meat right and that Eddie should back out before he steals his ride. Eddie then pulls up in a dope low rida pickup truck. He hits Cena in the cut with the title before they brawl around bouncing one another head and bodies off the hoods. Cena nails a delayed vertical suplex to Eddie on top of the roof which was AWESOME! Before going to a another car and taking out a lawn mower and tries to run over Eddie but Eddie stops it Cena throws him into another ar and picks up a shovel but misses twice. On the third Eddie hot shots him onto the car before swinging the shovel at Cena, but he misses and breaks the headlamps. Eddie nails Cena with the door before choking him with a seatbelt. He bounces Cena head off a trunk, but he fights back and throws Eddie into the trunk of a car. Eddie pops out, popping Cena in the face with the trunk lid. Cena recovers, shatters a windshield with Eddie's body for a two count. Cena hits Eddie with a car door, for another 2 count. He tries to trap Eddie’S with his head right in the path of a car door and goes to kick the door shut, but Eddie quickly ducks out of the way. Cena is thrown head first into a car window. That window shatters, busting him open Eddie goes for another but has it reversed on him, and he goes through a car window, shattering that one as well that gets a two count. Cena tries to get a car to start and drive away, but Eddie pounds his head in to the steering wheel, and then uses the cigarette lighter on Cena's chest. Cena is trying to run away again, but Eddie's jumps and rolls over the car to get to him Eddie puts windshield wiper fluid into Cena's eyes, runs at him, but Cena fuckin’ backdrops him on to a car hood. He ties for the FU, but it is countered into a hip toss on to a car hood. Someone comes up from behind and hits Cena with what I think was a hubcap, it turns out to be Chavo Guerrero. Eddie runs up to the top of a white jeep, and frog splashes Cena for the three count; AWESOME! This was a ton of fun, with a lot of brutal spots. ***1/4

The APA vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
Mattitude.com says; Matt rarely uses turn signals & Matt's entertainment system requires five remotes. So this is AWESOME! Because it Moore getting squashed. Bradshaw wins with the Clothesline From Hell, post-match: Bruce the butler comes out with a silver tray and served beers to Farooq & Bradshaw

Vince McMahon comes out, and introduces Brock Lesnar. He then tells Stephanie that its decision time either quit or stay and face the animal. Stephanie comes out in wrestling gear. Vince gets in Stephanie's face, claiming that she's defying him, like she's done her entire life. Steph slaps Vince in the face, and then Brock grabs her. Steph low blows Brock, Vince gets back in Stephanie's face and Steph low blows him too. Brock then grabs her outside the ring, and is screaming at her, "You didn't do that, did you!" Brock throws Stephanie in to the barricade, and then tells her he is gonna bash her head in with the steel steps. Brock proceeds to throw the steps at Stephanie, but the steel post blocks it, Stephanie runs out of the arena with Brock quickly after her. Vince is still in the ring recovering from the low blow, when Brock returns, with Stephanie on his shoulders, he sets up Stephanie for an F5 on the steel post but Kurt runs out and saves her. Kurt takes out Brock, and then knocks Vince cold. Brock takes over on Kurt, and sets Angle up for the F5, but Kurt counters it and whips Brock in to the steel post busting him open. Brock and Vince bail as Kurt takes the steel steps and throws them at Brock and Vince as Smackdown goes off the air.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 09/15/2003
Columbia, South Carolina

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

Backstage: Triple H who is looking awesome in this salmon shirt bumps into Eric Bischoff, who reminds Triple H how he helped him last week with the surprise partner’s main event. Eric says he's betting on Triple H at Unforgiven after last week. Triple H asks for a favour. A special going away party for Goldberg since it's his last RAW. Eric then asks what happens when Goldberg shows up and Triple H says to “invite Goldberg to the party”

Chris Jericho and Christian are in the ring; and they are holding up signs. Jericho’s says “Stone Cold, Joke” and “Fire Austin” and Christian’s says “Austin is Unfair” and “Drunk with power” Jericho says that Steve Austin maliciously assaulted him last week for no good reason and everyone knows it. They are here to say AUSTIN is a coward and a failed as a GM. Christian says that Steve Austin has used his power to hold him back, keeping him off SummerSlam and Unforgiven, and the Peeps are pissed off and they are not gonna take it anymore. They begin to chant “Stone Cold, Must Go” “Stone Cold, Must Go” “Stone Cold, Must Go” Suddenly, Austin’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. He says you two are holding up the show with stupid signs, and spit out lies. He said he stunned Jericho because he hurt his feeling and assaulted him. And they both deserve an ass whopping from Stone Cold Steve Austin, but the role stops it. He then calls Christian a CREEPY BASTARD! And tells him to stop crying, he then tells Christian he is defending his IC title at Unforgiven. Jericho begins to talk trash so Austin asks which one will dare to provoke him. Jericho gets in Austin's face before telling Christian to go for it but then Christian declines. Jericho says that it's not worth it since Austin can't touch him unless he does and tells Austin to give him the title shot at Unforgiven. He then tells him to get his head out of his Stone Cold ass and give it to the MVP of Raw, he should get the title shot, and Austin says he sees his point. He says Jericho can have the shot if he wins this #1 Contender's match next. Against Rob Van Dam!

#1 Contenders Match for the Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
Christian jumps RVD allowing Jericho to start the match but that doesn’t work as RVD fights him off, like 1 minute into the match RVD head up top but Christian shoves him to the floor allowing Jericho to whip him into the steps, when back in the ring; Jericho begins to control the match working the head. RVD makes comeback with the vintage break your jaw kicks and rolling thunder. Springboard kick gets two, Jericho counters the monkey flip into a walls attempt but RVD rolls through for two. The match turns in to a back and forth affair with neither guy gaining the advantage. At one point RVD kicks the ref by accident and Jericho bulldogs him, he tries the Lionsault but RVD gets the knees up. RVD heads up top and attempts the Five Star Frog Splash but Jericho gets the knees up. Christian comes in. He swings at RVD with the belt, but misses and hits Jericho. He then also hits RVD with the belt, so the ref calls for the bell. Post-Match: Austin comes out on the stage and says since Christian thinks he can come out and ‘cause a no contest, doesn't mean he won't have an opponent. Stone Cold books Christian vs. Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam in a triple threat for the IC Championship at Unforgiven.

Robert Conway (w/La Resistance) vs. Spike Dudley (w/The Dudley Boyz)
The Dudleyz and La Resistance brawl before the match through the crowd and away from the ring. In the ring, Rob Conway finished off Spike Dudley in like 30 seconds. Post-Match: Rob Conway got a table out from under the ring and set it up inside the ring, he then picked up Spike Dudley and power-bombed him straight through the table. Bubba & DVon Dudley ran back to the ring and chased Rob Conway away.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff along with Al Snow and Coach are enjoying what just happened. Bischoff asks them both if they'll be that viscous this Sunday at Unforgiven, and Snow and Coach guarantee that they won't let Bischoff down. A staff member enters and tells Bischoff that two half-naked women are waiting in his office.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff finds Moolah & Mae Young in his office, Moolah says that it's her 80th birthday and she wants a match in her hometown. Stone Cold enters saying he sent them in here. As they both leave, Mae gives Bischoff a kiss.

Victoria vs. The Fabulous Moolah (w/Mae Young)
Would rather watch Dawn/Shelton, BUT NEVERMIND THAT!!! Post-Match: Victoria attacks both of them, until Randy Orton runs down. He pulls Victoria off, and gets on the mic. Moolah gets up and puts over how tough she is, and how it's her birthday. He says Moolah is a legend, and he extends his hand. "AND BY THE WAY…..Randy Orton...LEGEND KILLER!" RKO ON MOOLAH FUCK YEAH!

Goldust & Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry & Rodney Mack (w/Teddy Long)
Lance Storm is now smiling and dancing to hip hop music; Match was shit until the last 30 seconds with Goldust/Henry, yeah I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.

Backstage: Triple H and Ric Flair congratulate Randy Orton on his actions and want to celebrate but Orton says has a couple of things to take care of first. He bumps into Maven and Shawn Michaels. Orton vows to use Shawn Michaels as a stepping stone to greatness and Michaels says he sees a lot of himself in Orton then turns around and slaps him, he then says if Randy Orton is gonna use him as a stepping stone, to step HARD!

Backstage: The Hurricane is trying to teach Rosey how to fly, Rosey calls up for a cab but is then hung up on as he says his name and spells out S.H.I.T.

Backstage: Terri interviews Gail Kim and Molly Holly; she asks what they have in mind for Trish. Molly says that Eric Bischoff has granted a handicap match with herself and Gail vs. Trish UGH!

Eric Bischoff comes out to oversee the Kane/Shane contract signing for their Last Man Standing Match at Unforgiven. He says that Kane & Shane will sign release forms so that RAW will not be held accountable, Kane comes out and quickly signs the contract and release form without hesitation. Shane comes out and says if he's going down, then Kane is definitely going down with him. He signs the contract and then attacks Kane, nailing four consecutive low blows and some chair shots. On the floor, Shane pulls a sheet off of a randomly set up bonus announce table Shame places Kane on the vacant announce table at ringside and then jumps off the top rope onto Kane with an elbow drop.

No Holds Barred, Handicap Match: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly & Gail Kim
The same shit I’ve been seeing for the past month, plz stop with this terrible shit. Molly Holly pins Trish Stratus after the Molly-Go-Round Post-Match: Molly Holly & Gail Kim continue beating up Trish Stratus, Molly lays Trish's across a steel chair, as Gail Kim climbs the top rope. Suddenly, Lita, makes her return to RAW DDT’ing Molly and powerbombing Gail.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff tells Gail and Molly he has no idea how Lita got into the building because he fired her last time she was on RAW. Stone Cold comes in and says he let her in. Austin books Gail & Molly vs. Trish & Lita at Unforgiven. Gail says she went to the wrong GM, and slept with the wrong one.

The Coach comes out dressed as Jim Ross, and Al Snow comes out dressed as Jerry Lawler, they sit down at the squashed announce table at ringside and put on their headsets. Coach waves "goodbye" to Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler as their headsets are shut off. FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!

Val Venis vs. Test (w/Stacy Keibler)
MORE PILES OF SHIT! Match would end, when Stacy interfered by shaking the ropes causing Test to fall. Val hits a full nelson slam and gets the win. After the match, Stacy laughed at Test and Test got upset and was about to attack Stacy until Scott Steiner came out and attacked Test but he was still able to escape with Stacy.

Jerry Lawler comes down to the ring and challenges Al Snow to a match right then and there, Al Snow stands up and accepts the challenge as they go to commercial. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY ME GOD!

Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow
SUCK A DICK!

Backstage: Evolution is walking to the party when Stone Cold stops them. He says they don't need to go to the going away party, since he's ruling that if they interfere at Unforgiven, Triple H loses the title. He says this is between him and Goldberg, and if he's doing this party thing, he's doing it by himself. Triple H says he's got this, and walks off.

Triple H comes out and encourages the fans to chant for Goldberg (because it will be the last time, and it's a party) Balloons come down for the party, and celebratory music too, as Triple H himself starts chanting for Goldberg. He says it's the end of Goldberg, He then says he's been sitting back watching all the videos of wrestlers Goldberg has beaten, well he's beaten everyone Goldberg has beaten but he's also beaten Goldberg. He says he'll beat Goldberg and have to leave this business forever. The fans pop balloons and black streamers also come down. Triple H calls himself the last greatest champion alive today and that the TRUTH! Triple H's house microphone cuts out AND HE SAYS! He didn't know Goldberg made microphones, since those don't working well either lmaolmaolmaolmaolmao Triple H unveils a portrait of Evolution beating a bloodied Goldberg as he holds the title in front of him. He then asks for clips to be aired of where he beats Goldberg up, he continues to put himself over like only a GOD! Can until Goldberg is shown on the tron, he gives his "I'm gonna beat your ass, punk" and "Believe The Hype" promo before coming down to the ring, he Military Press Powerslams Triple H to end the show Not even a spear

 

[Crippler]

(WATCHED ON THE WWE NETWORK, that’s right out of the 3 Smackdown shows from 2003 this one made it. However their version is the standard TV one so the iron man match is cut down to like 40+ minutes due to commercials. But not to fear, I have the entire 60 minutes in full on my laptop and will be watching that. BECAUSE I AM GOD!!!!)

WWE Smackdown 09/18/2003
Raleigh, North Carolina

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio
Smackdown opens with Vince hyping up the main event, telling up the Iron man match will raise he bar; Suddenly, Taker walks up to him saying he thought he will take the time to tell him he's not going to interfere in the match, because he respects the match and title too much. But he doesn't respect Vince. He says he knows Vince sent Brock down to ruin his title match, and he says he doesn't forgive or forget.

Rey Mysterio & Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri & Rhyno
Benoit/Tajiri interaction to start was awesome, why didn’t we get this more tarantula into a Rhyno spinebuster was great, as Rhyno and Benoit had a good back and forth fight until Rey tags in; he hits Rhyno with a moonsault the match breaks down as Benoit just want to beat the shit out of someone, The match would end seconds later when Tajiri accidentally sprays the green mist into Rhyno’s face, that allows Benoit to Germans him. They follow up with 619 into another German double team, before Rhyno gets hit with a 619 of his own, and Rey drop of the dime for the win. This was way too short.

Shaniqua vs. Torrie Wilson & Nidia (w/Dawn Marie)
Torrie Wilson is in it so I’m forced to watch this, plus she’s wearing all white with Pink Match is terrible plz skip.

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon is talking on the phone, while doodling on a Sable promotional photo when Vince, Show, & Sable walk in; Vince says he was shocked that she didn't quit, and she says he can't make her quit. Vince says she's gonna quit, and she asks why not just fire me. But Vince says he does what he wants, when he wants. Vince challenges the GM by saying "If you want to play rough, I can play rough. When I'm done, you're gonna beg me to quit."

Backstage: Eddie is thrilled to have Chavo back, and asks Chavo how he got the tag title match. Chavo says he went to Stephanie, talked about 'La Famiglia', and how the Guerrero's being back together deserved a title shot. Stephanie agreed, and the match was on for the tag team straps. Chavo points out that after tonight, Eddie will be a double champion! Eddie thinks he needs some more gold and that they're gonna do it for 'La Razza!"

​

WWE Tag Team Championship: Los Guerrero’s vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team
Eddie and Shelton start and it doesn’t lead to anything as Chavo quickly tags in; the Guerrero’s do a quick double team move but Shelton quickly backs in into his corner allowing the Champs to attempt to isolate him but that doesn’t work as he tags Chavo in who looks the best I’ve ever seen him. He takes out both WGTT members as the Guerrero’s hit plancha’s of opposite sides. The Guerrero’s continue to cheat and take over with quick tags and double teams but A cheapshot from Hass allows Shelton to come in, but to no joy Chavo fights out tags Eddie in more Shelton/Eddie goodness but both men get KO’ed on double clotheslines. Chavo/Hass happens but Eddie makes the mistake of distracting the ref allowing Shelton to superkick Chavo allowing the champs to isolate Chavo working on the surgery repaired bicep. The heat on it was AWESOME and Chavo’s selling was AMAZING! Loved that when he throw punches on the comeback he held the injured arm to his body. Love the hot tag spot but because the ref didn’t see it, it didn’t count. The crowd by this point it hawt and Chavo drop kick on Charlie Haas. Benjamin then catches Chavo as he lunged for Eddie, and makes the tag. Eddie hot tag ruled as he cleans house, until Haas Germans him. Eddie sees the superkicks coming and he puts Shelton’s head in front of his making him take the kick. Eddie goes for a frogsplash, rolls out of it as he sees Haas get up, Benjamin goes for a steel chair on the outside, tries to hit Eddie with it, but Chavo drop kicks Shelton's knee, and he falls viciously on it (SHIT LOOKS NASTY) Haas looks down as his partner, and realizes something is wrong, but is forced to go back to the Guerrero's in the ring. Eddie & Chavo whip Haas to the ropes, and drop him on his head (He though a Double Flapjack was going to be a Double Back Drop, so he got compacted big time on his head and neck) JESUS! The match would end when Chavo hits a suplex and Eddie finishes him off with a Frog Splash. 98% of this was AMAZING, Easily the best Chavo performance I’ve seen just a shame for the last minute. ***1/2 - ***3/4

TAZZ'S KEYS TO VICTORY: Brock Lesnar - 1, Strong Style 2, Numerous F5’s 3, Channelled Rage as for Kurt Angle – 1, 1st Ankle Lock 2, Mat Game 3, No Angle Slam???

Backstage: The heels are in a locker room watching on a monitor, the faces are in the office of the APA WITH A YOUNG MICKIE JAMES!!! Are making bets and drinking beer as Bradshaw hypes this.

60 Minute Iron Man Match For The WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle
I think you all know the rules by know; 1st superstar with the most falls by the end wins. You can win a fall by Pin, Submission, DQ and Countout. And after each fall there is a 15 second rest period. Let’s go bitches~! Brock jumps angle as soon as he takes his eyes off him, when he gives the belt to the ref I love Brock, he continues to methodically stomp and throw Kurt around but Kurt comes back with clothesline attempts but that doesn’t work so he dropkicks the knee to set up the clothesline. A quick belly-to-belly sends Brock the floor to catch his breath. As soon as he gets in he calls for time out, Kurt being the idiot falls for it and Brock jumps him I love Brock, that doesn’t last long as again Brock gains the upper hand which PISSES HIM OFF! He goes to the floor again and picks up the steps; he breaks the count before going out to the floor stalling. Kurt continues to refuse to let Brock get into the ring, which frustrates Brock as 5 minutes have past. Brock eventually gets in but as soon as Kurt tries to wrestle again he bails, HEEL TACTICS! He again suckers Kurt in and hangs him throat first on the top rope before beating him down. Kurt comes back however with a belly-to-belly and a clothesline to the floor as Brock is now grabbing his knee. Kurt now follows to the floor and peppers him with punches, but he falls for Brock plan by breaking his good game plan and allowing Brock to dominate by slamming him back first into the ring apron. Brock the picks up a chair and kills Kurt with a chair shot to the head, and 5 more to the body. Giving Kurt the DQ win, Kurt up 1-0

During the rest Brock takes a drink of water; with Angle still trying to recover from the chair shot, Brock picks him up and nails him with the F5 for the 3 count. 1-1 Tazz finally gets it that this was all a part of Brock plan, only took him 3 minutes. Brock starts to mocks Kurt and the crowd asking if he wants to tap out, he then puts on the Ankle Lock on Kurt and he taps out ASAP. Brock, 2-1.

Brock hits a sweet delayed suplex, followed by an Angle Slam but Kurt kicks out. Brock looks shocked and applies a rear naked choke. Kurt fights back but a Brock catches him in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two before he goes back to the choke, again Kurt fights out but gets met with a knee to the mid-section. Brock continues to punish the mid-section before headbutting him, he goes for one too many and hits the ringpost which allows Kurt to comeback with a flying forearm and Germans 3 to be exact. Brock again suckers Kurt in and uses his tights to throw Kurt to the floor. He whips Kurt into the barricade; he hit Kurt with an F5 on the mats and rolls in the ring before the count of 10 as Kurt is out and gets counted out. Brock, 3-1. WHO SAID BROCK ISN’T A GENUIS?

Brock now knocks Kurt off the apron whenever he tries, but on the 3rd he suplexs him back in for a two count. AWESOME! Delayed Fisherman but Brock doesn’t go for the cover, he just wants to punish Kurt more. That proves to be a mistake as Kurt fires up with Belly-to-bellies but as he goes for a Angle Slam Brock takes his head off with a clothesline. Both men struggle, as Kurt is up first and he decides to no sell all the beating instead he would rather just sell that he’s been in a match for 25 minutes. Brock again tries timeout But Kurt gives him the middle fingers taunt and continues to stomp away. Brock with a godly back elbow allows him to gain control again, but he can’t keep Kurt down. Out of desperation Kurt hits the Angle Slam to cut the lead 3-2.

Brock's exhaustion selling was really really good, and Kurt briefly sells the exhaustion before moving on to throw more suplexs. I also love that Brock keeps backing up, begging off and calling for time out shit is hilarious. German by Kurt before he drops the straps, he tries another Angle Slam but that gets countered into a F5 attempt but Kurt counters that into an ankle lock. Brock rolls through and almost knocks Kurt into the ref but he puts on the breaks. Brock comes charging in and kills the ref with a clothesline. That allows Kurt to hit another Angle Slam but the ref is down, this allows Brock to nail Kurt with a low blow. He grabs the WWE title and nails Kurt in the head with it. He kicks the ref to wake him before covering Angle for the 3 count, 4-2 I love Brock.

Brock is now just choking the shit out of Kurt on the bottom rope to the point that the ref has to break it up; that allows Kurt to pull him to the floor and whip him into the steps. And again Kurt no sells any and everything. Now he decides to go to the top and come off the top with a Double-Axhandle to the floor for a two count. Missile dropkick gets another two; he now heads up top but misses the moonsault. More awesome story telling with Kurt changing hid game to high risk worked well the first few times, but he went to the air on too many times and it cost him. School boy gets two as Brock comes back with another beastly clothesline. STANDING OVERHEAD BELLY TO FUCKIN’ BELLY GETS TWO! Kurt breaks out of a belly-to-belly into an ankle lock, but again Brock rolls through sending Kurt to the floor. He whips Kurt now into the steps and covers for two. Brock starts to get frustrated again, and tries to bring in steps, but Kurt baseball slides them back into him. He quickly covers or a two count. Kurt now begins to take over with strikes, but he gets caught with a huge spinebuster but again Brock doesn’t go for the cover instead he keeps the pressure and hits a backbreaking powerbomb for two. Brock places Kurt on the top turn buckles and connects with a superplex for another 3 count, Brock 5-2.

During the rest period Brock takes a sip of water before throwing the bottle of water all over Tazz I love Brock; once he gets back into the ring he continues to put the boots to Kurt and nails another vertical Suplex 2x in a row. On the 3rd Kurt counters into a sweet looking German, Brock went flying. German suplex with Bock doing a backflip and landing on his knee gets a two count. Brock now begins to sell the knee and it’s amazing, Kurt now targets it but out of desperation he sends Kurt to the floor as he goes back to selling, he does follow out to the floor but he is limping (TAKE NOTES WRESTLERS) Brock picks Kurt up and tries to F5 him into the ring-post; but Kurt counters and F5 Brock knee first the injured knee into the ring-post; AWESOME! Back in the ring and Kurt locks in a single leg Boston crab. Brock reaches the ropes but Kurt pulls him back and applies the Ankle lock, and again Brock gets to the ropes. Kurt gets too aggressive and Brock catches him with a F5 out of nowhere, he’s too slow on making the cover which allows Kurt to kick out. Brock goes out of his element and heads up top, but was playing possum and runs the buckles and connects with a Belly-to-belly for the 3 count, 5-3 Brock.

They begin trading strikes with Kurt getting the better. He hits a snap suplex before getting fired up again. He stalks Brock and misses the Angle Slam as Brock counters into a DDT for two. More strikes before Brock connects with a German, and another and another. On the 4th attempt Kurt switches and hits 3 of his own, Brock switches but as he tries one of his own Kurt rolls through and counters into the Ankle Lock for the 4th time, this time he has no choice he taps. 5-4. 3 AND A HALF MINUTE REMAIN!!!!! Kurt again goes for the Ankle lock but he sends Kurt to the floor, but he right up and locks in a Bowen arrow like submission, Brock now begins to run, stall and avoid Kurt at all measure, while still selling his leg in. I love Brock; Kurt again breaks out the Triple Germans, and keeps going after the Ankle until Brock gets a low blow at 30 seconds. Kurt desperately grabs the Ankle Lock, BUT THE CLOCK EXPIRES!

The amount of love I have for this is insane, it rivals Rock/HHH more than I remembered. It’s basically a showcase Brock’s intelligence. I also love that he won the match and title, in true heel like fashion and his intentions was not to wrestle the title away but to steal it and show he is the smarter man. Brock’s moveset to keep the match moving along logically, amazing selling of both exhaustion and the ankle at the end was on fleek And as much as I use to love Angle in WWE his selling here was spotty and trash, I probably would have been fine with it if Brock wasn’t just phenomenal in everything he did in this. The various pieces of storytelling and continuity were fantastic, and both men deserve credit for being smart about that and working to the great story that developed. Totally my 2003 MOTY, better than Taker/Kurt and Benoit. But we will see, maybe Raw can step up