WWE Raw, Smackdown & PPV's 2003

[Crippler]

Will do my best to keep up with this.

Thought that Teddy Long stable and story surrounding it had promise, but it never really went anywhere.

Bad Blood was very poor. The Austin-Bischoff contest was beyond lame. The best thing about the Steiner/Test series was Stacy (and I don't just mean because she is hot). Flair-Michaels was only decent, and the main event was awful (Foley as ref was the only highlight).

Would like to relive that Raw with Gail's debut!

SD was really bad around this time having been pretty good at the start of the year.

1. Yeah i remember the Teddy stuff ended because they found out Mack was the WOAT and brought in Mark Henry, but then just like most WWE angles it just faded away in 2004 and long went to SD

2. Bad Blood out side the Jericho/Goldberg match is one of the worse PPV's in history

3. Gail wasn't all that impressive when she first came in all she did was armdrags and 'ranas

3. I blame that one legged bitch Gowin, coming right off the bat and taking up half of the TV time on SD and was put right into the main event with Vince, making Brock and the title a 2nd filler. Benoit jobbing every other week in tag matches didn't help.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 07/17/2003
Columbus, Ohio

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Vince McMahon comes out to open the show and getting on the mic. He says that the handicap match he booked 2 weeks ago didn't turn out the way he planned because Zach Gowen won a WWE contract. He mentions that Zach also won himself a match with Vince against Vengeance. He says Zach won because of two reasons, Kurt Angle and WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. Vince says he taught Brock a lesson last week when he booked him in that handicap match. Vince asks "where was Kurt Angle?" Vince says Kurt was in the back with him. Vince told Angle that if he interfered with the Brock handicap match in any way, shape or form, that he would take him out of the championship match, then fire him. Vince says that Kurt Angle will be taught a lesson tonight. Kurt will have to pull off what Brock couldn't last week. Angle will face the same three individuals, no holds barred, falls count anywhere in a handicap match. Vince begins to talk about his match at Vengeance when Brock's music hits, Vince says Brock is probably mad about losing last week, but reminds him not to cross the boss. Brock says he isn't going to cross the boss, he is going to beat the boss. Vince avoids eye contact and Brock screams to look at him. Brock says he wants; Brock Lesnar vs Vince McMahon TONIGHT! Vince says you’re on, but not tonight. He doesn't want to face Brock when Brock isn't 100%. Vince knows Brock has injured ribs from that chokeslam through the announce table, so he tells Brock he has the night off for his own protection. Vince warns Brock that he will strip him of the WWE title if he interferes in tonight's main event. Brock grabs the mic and says since he can't F5 McMahon tonight, it’s FU.


Semi-Finals for the US Title Tournament: Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore)
Mattitude.com says, Matt's beard is much cooler than Benoit's. This match is fuckin’ great to date I would say this was Matt’s best match until the Edge feud in 2005. Early portion is all Benoit being amazing during the mat work segment but Matt makes a silly mistake of taking a few cheap shot elbows so Benoit kills him 3 times with some serious chops. Benoit locks Matt arms in the ropes but as he bounces off the ropes Shannon trips up his feet and connects with and neck breaker allowing Matt to gain the advantage now, by working on the once broken neck. I loved Benoit’s comeback but in a rare moment he didn’t sell the neck which was shocking, no joke my jaw actually dropped at the best-selling in the company and possibly all-time not selling neck work. Anyway during the comeback Benoit countered the Twist of fate to the Crossface but as he was dropping Matt to the mat he face hit it canvas and exploded ‘cause it’s bleeding nonstop now. Both men are slow to get to their feet but Matt hits a side effect out of nowhere for two, he sees the blood and hits two more huge ones but he gets too aggressive and instead of going for the cover he heads up top and attempts the diving headbutt but Benoit moves. Great counter from Matt as Benoit is going for the triple Germans but on the 3rd he grabs the middle rope sending both of them to the outside but he again makes the mistake of leaving Benoit so Benoit yanks the leg off the apron hitting his nose again. He rolls Matt back in and connects with another German but now Benoit is the one that misses the Headbutt. That allows Matt to head up for the legdrop but Benoit puts a stop to that and fights his way up, but Matt looks like he’s about to hit the 4th side effect but this time off the middle buckle but Benoit counters into a Crossface for the win. Great fuckin’ match really put Matt over as a legit mid card and no longer a Cruiserweight while showing Benoit is the best in the world and should not be jobbing in shitty tag matches to the worse guys in the world. ***1/2

Backstage: Vince is in Steph’s office on the phone, suddenly she barges in wanting to know where Sable is and he says he has Sable in a safe location. Steph then touches a lamp that was prob on all day and pulls away like it burnt her saying OW! Vince; What? Steph; the lamp Vince; is it hot? Steph; yeah its hot Vince; "yeah well no shit" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Vince then gives Steph a present from Sable, which is a box of Midol. Stephanie slaps it away and walks off. Vince then shouts out PMS

Backstage: Brock Lesnar is leaving the building when Kurt catches up to him. Kurt asks where Brock is going and Brock fills him in on what happened earlier tonight. Kurt asks Brock if he is going to do what that old bastard Vince says. Brock says he is going to listen just like Kurt listened last week. Brock says it took everything he had no to F5 that old prick in the ring but he respects the title and he respects his job, so he didn't do it. Brock tells Kurt to watch out for the announce table because it is a doozy. They shake hands and Brock tells Kurt not to get hurt tonight because he doesn't want excuses when he beats him in the triple threat match. Kurt says he's never made excuses in his entire life.

Jamie Noble vs. Ultimo Dragon
Noble and Nidia are on the way to the ring, Noble offers Torrie $25,000 to spend the night with him. Nidia has had enough and leaves the ringside area. Rather quick match without much offense from either competitor. Noble is distracted when Torrie and Billy Gunn come on the stage holding hands, that allows Dragon to roll him up for the win. *3/4

​

Backstage: The APA hands out flyers for the APA Bar Room Brawl Challenge at Vengeance They find Spanky and ask him if he is old enough to go to a bar and they give him a flyer. They find Kanyon and give him a flyer too, but he says he can't make it because he is having his cable installed that day. The APA tells him that it isn't an option. Kanyon agrees to reschedule his cable hookup.

Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio vs. The Conquistadors
Taz being the AMAZING! Person he is says this is Conquistadores #45 and #47, because 46 is sick. Total squash match here, Rey hits a 619 followed by a Kidman Shooting Star Press for the win.

Vince comes down to the ring again and gets on the mic, He mentions Sable in a skybox at the top of the arena as the camera cuts to her. The reason Sable is in the Skybox, is for his daughter's own protection. He says cripples are gross, Vince calls Zach a sickening amputee and PROMISES TO DO WHAT EVERYONE WANTS TO DO AND BEAT UP A CRIPPLE FOR BEING DISGUSTING! He’s going to put Zach out of his misery at Vengeance. Suddenly, John Cena comes down to the ring. Cena raps an anti-Zack Gowan pro-Vince McMahon promo which brings a smile to Vince McMahon's face, the ending line is "You know what's cooler than a one legged wrestler? BEING ABLE TO WALK!" Taker comes out on his bike. As he circles the ring, Cena throws the steps in his path so Taker can't ride the bike anymore HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Taker gets into the ring and both men start brawling for a bit before Taker gets the better.

Sean O’Haire vs. Rhyno
O'Haire never got his trench coat off in this "match". He and Rhyno fought on the outside for a little bit until the APA ran down and gave both guys flyers. O'Haire attacked Bradshaw and caused the APA to jump Rhyno while O'Haire escaped.

Semi-Finals for the US Title Tournament: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson)
Eddie is driving a sick all white Cadillac this week. So much for THAT heel turn, you just can't boo this guy. This was a total Eddie carry job on offense and when it was time to bump. Eddie worked over the knee and got the El Paso Lasso on Gunn that obviously got no sold cause this Gunn guy sucks still. Noble came down with a chair, but the ref took it. Eddie shoved Gunn into him and took the chair, he nails Gunn then proceeded to play possum when the ref got up, Eddie slowly covered Gunn for the win. LIE! CHEAT! STEAL!

Backstage: Josh Matthews is with Sable when Steph comes in and spills champagne over Sable's head. Sable goes nuts, throwing Steph around the suite and bouncing her head up in down on the buffet table. After Sable slaps Josh across the face, Steph comes back and bounces Sable's face off the floor. Security separates the two.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show & World's Greatest Tag Team
I loved during the opening part Kurt was able to outsmart his former team mates and made them run into each other’s balls which took them out leaving it down to Show/Kurt but Cause show is such a monster on headbutt was enough to flatten Kurt but this was so unlike the Brock match as Kurt kept coming back and coming back with neither of the three men gaining full control until Shelton tripped Kurt up then hitting him in the head with a trashcan lid. Show then whips him into the steel steps and all three men take turns beating on Kurt. But again Kurt played a smarter game and took out one-by-one. Show then realized that Kurt won’t stay down so instead he moves the steps in front of the announce table like last week. But Kurt nails him in the back with a steel chair, during the commercial Kurt is too slow so the WGTT pounce all over him and continue the beating relentlessly. But again Kurt plays the divide on concur game he brawls with Haas into the crowd locking him in the ankle lock but Shelton breaks it up so Kurt throws him into the a steel rail and the bump he takes is epic. Kurt then tries the Ankle lock again on Haas but Show breaks it up now as they make their way on the stage. Show signals foe the chokeslam but Kurt kicks him in the balls and as it looks like Kurt might do it here comes WGTT to beat the shit out of him, they roll him back into the ring but Angle counters a trash can show and takes out all 3 men with it. He clips Shows knee but Show out of desperation hits a sick clothesline. Suddenly, Zack comes out here hitting dropkicks but Show kills him Show grabs Zack Gowan by the throat, but Kurt Angle makes the save. Kurt Angleslams Big Show, and then one for Shelton Benjamin. He applies an Ankle lock on Charlie Haas, but the Big Show makes the save. Show and Kurt brawl to the outside. Show is about to chokeslam Kurt but Zach jumps onto show but Show catches him and drops him on the barricade, Kurt then picks up the steel steps and rams them into show taking him out. Shelton & Charlie go after Kurt in the ring as the try to hit the front atomic Drop/Superkick combo but Kurt catches Shelton boot and spins him around so he dragon kicks Hass taking him out. Kurt then put Shelton in the Ankle Lock forcing him to tap. This was damn good, loved the smartness of Kurt to try and single them out and with Vince not adding the stipulation that he had with Brock last week that allowed Zack to help him win. It just further advances the Brock/Kurt feud keeping everyone looking strong imo. ***1/4

 

[Keith]

The main event sounds the highlight of that show.

 

[Crippler]

Not over Matt/Benoit i can tell you that

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 07/21/2003
Los Angeles, California

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Booker T
World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Gail Kim

Eric Bischoff is already in the ring and has a mic, he promises that Steve Austin’s run as co-GM is over. Bischoff again blames Austin for Kane’s recent reign of terror. Suddenly, Linda McMahon’s music hits and she makes her way down to the ring. Linda says that Steve Austin isn't responsible for Kane's actions; Kane is responsible. She also says that JR hasn't pressed charges, but Kane is under house arrest. But that doesn't prevent Kane from earning a living or going to work. So tonight it will be Kane vs. Rob Van Dam, Bischoff then says this is about firing Austin. Well, Stone Cold’s music hits and he comes down to the ring now. Austin says he doesn't apologize for anything and stands behind every decision he has made, but if JR won't press charges, he'll beat Kane to death himself. Bischoff says that that is the exact attitude that is gonna get Steve Austin fired. Linda says she never said she was coming to RAW to fire Steve Austin, she came to RAW to address a problem in the General Manager's office. She compliments Steve Austin on his work as GM, but says he can't go around beating up WWE Superstars. She says Austin has to stop if he wants to continue being GM of RAW. Austin says he's got a lot to think about and starts to walk out of the ring. Linda says that if Steve Austin relinquishes his GM duties, Eric Bischoff will be 100% in charge. Linda give Steve Austin a week to "think" and gives him the rest of the night off. Eric gets a big smile on his face and sing "Nah nah nah nah, hey hey, good bye!" to Steve Austin. Linda then tells Eric Bischoff to take the night off too. Austin then starts to sing "Nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, good bye!" Austin decides to drink a little beer, he gives one to Linda.

Trish Stratus & Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly & Victoria (w/Steven Richards)
Gail’s worse performance of all time she botched every 3rd move lol it was just brutal to watch, I wouldn’t be surprised if they take the belt off her next week. The only moves she does even remotely well are ‘Ranas and armdrags, oh and the basic stuff like slams but everything else looks awful. The match ends when Victoria rips off Gail Kim's top off, leaving her in her bra. Then Trish accidentally chick-kicks Gail Kim leading to Molly pinning Gail for the win.

Lawler and Coach talk more about JR and the injuries he sustained last week. Lawler accuses Coach of not caring that JR is burned up

Backstage: Terri is in the parking lot waiting for Kane to arrive, she says that Kane will be escorted by a team of police officers from his home to the show. Jericho shows up and says nobody paid to see Kane, they paid to see him get his revenge on Shawn Michaels.

Backstage: Steve Austin bumps into Eric Bischoff and they bicker for a while about whose fault it is they're "off" for the night. Austin then mocks Eric Bischoff for WCW going out of business.

EVOLUTION IS A MYSTERY! THEME DEBUT

Evolution make their way down to the ring, and Randy Orton gets on the mic. He makes fun of the time he tossed Mick Foley down a set of stairs, then gloats about pinned all three Dudley Boyz last week in the elimination match. Randy Orton says he's always been a "Lady Killer" but now he can be called a "Legend Killer”

Val Venis vs. Randy Orton (w/Ric Flair)
Triple H is on commentary for this, and he’s the GOAT like always he said JR would be on Raw, if he stop, dropped and rolled but instead he just dropped This was short and to the point. It was here to get Orton a win over a vet and to continue his winning streak in Evolution. They do some stuff for like 4 minutes, it’s back and forth, Orton is still learning and is getting better and better as the days go by. Oh I should mention Val’s arm work was AWESOME! The match would end when Val misses the money shot, and Orton hits the RKO for win. **

Triple H leaves the commentary table and makes his way back to ringside. He grabs a mic, he tells Randy Orton to put a shirt on before the chicks run in the ring and "maul" him lol. He then brags that he’s beaten everyone that this business has had to offer. Suddenly, Goldberg’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. He gets into the ring and goes right up to Hunter as both men have a face off. Goldberg says Triple H claims to be the best, and then let's Triple H know that HE'S NEXT! Evolution circles Goldberg, but Triple H calls them off, saying that it will only happen on his terms.

Backstage: Randy Orton complains about Bill Goldberg stealing the spotlight from him, so he wants to take care of him right now. But Flair says he’s gotta learn and people around here will learn to beat to their drum. Triple H says they’ll do it when they want, he’s done one half of the plan and he’s gotta do the other. He wants at the end of the ring when people to leave be saying Randy Orton.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
They do some real solid mat work to start, but they botch a few reversal and counters but it’s not Gail bad. I loved Shawn’s counter out of the hammerlock as he picks up speed and sends Jericho to the outside, they go back to work with the mat game as Coach heels it up or he got too upset with Lawler thinking he doesn’t care for JR so he claims he’s more hip than Lawler and just randomly sings the word “HOLLYWOOD” But back to the match, they’re still doing the feeling out process with the mat game. But Shawn has a counter for everything so as it looks like they’re about to lock up again, Jericho kicks him in the mid-section and chops him a few times. They do the AWESOME! Jericho stops himself on the ropes as Shawn jumps in the air looking for the leapfrog, but on his way down Jericho punches him in the face lol. From that they bring back the reversal two count sequence from Mania, but after the 6th two count Shawn locks in a side-headlock. They work a “veteran moves” as Shawn locks in another side-headlock but Jericho counters out with an elbow followed by a back breaker, to take control of the match. He tosses Shawn out of the ring and begins to taunt the crowd with the Hulkamania, Shawn has slowly gotten back onto the apron and Jericho suplexes him in. Before, tossing Michaels over again, but Michaels hangs on and grabs a headscissors. Jericho goes for a springboard plancha, but Michael’s moves and Jericho hits the floor. Springboard body press to the floor by Michaels and both men are down outside the ring. Michael’s hits a cross body off the top rope for two. Both men slowly get back to their feet and begin to trade rights as the camera cuts to Flair coming down to ringside, WHAT? Michaels goes right outside the ring and nails Flair. Back in the ring, Michaels goes for a hurracanrana, but Jericho reverses into the Walls of Jericho. And we go to commercial without any warning lol @ this. Once we return its Jericho in control with Shawn making brief mini-comebacks but Jericho’s asshole heap cut-off spots were great. Shawn would reverse a missile dropkick with a dropkick of his own, followed by a backbreaker of his own before starting a comeback of his own. But for some reason this is lacking something, it’s just moves at this point no selling their not even targeting limbs. Like Jericho isn’t even going after the famous broken back and Shawn is flying around though. Don’t get me wrong it’s watchable and enjoyable but it has no storytelling and the structure is off, anyway after a couple of minutes of back and forthness Shawn hits the flying elbow and sets up for Sweet Chin Music but Jericho ducks and the ref almost gets hit so he turns away and that allows Jericho to kick Shawn in the balls, both men are down but Jericho rolls to the outside and he grabs a chair. But Michaels hits the Sweet Chin Music on the chair, which the referee did not see. Flair pulls the referee out of the ring, and the two argue as randy Orton enters the ring and gives Michaels the RKO onto the chair. Jericho slowly and I mean slowly covers Shawn but he kicks out, oh right before this I should mention the ref Hebner ejects Flair from ringside. Jericho locks Michaels in the walls and he tries his best to fight out by scratching and crawling to the middle, what an idiot but he crawls from one side to the other and as it looks like he’s about to reach the ropes Jericho pulls him to the middle and he has no choice but to tap. So disappointing, I have no idea why they kept it slow and didn’t bother adding to it. Just so many thing wrong with this but I would watch again maybe in 10 years though. ***

Lance Storm is in the ring and he says the WWE fans do not appreciate his natural talent and charisma, so he has a prepared statement towards all the talent agents in attendance. Midway through his speech they cut away too backstage area, with Kane being led into the building in shackles.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Booker T vs. Test
All of this sucked until Stacy and Scotty came out during the match and she began to give Scotty a lap dance, he rips off her skirt and that distracts Test long enough for Booker to roll him up for two, Test is still off so Booker hits him with the Bookend for the win. lolno

click to view, it's worth it. Trust me​

Backstage: Rosey is in the locker-room with the babyfaces, Hurricane says he used to be tag team champions with Kane, but Kane isn't the superhero he once thought he was. Hurricane looks at Rosey and says that he sees a Super-Hero-in-training Goldust enters and says it is a great honor to be a S.H.i.T (Super-Hero-in-Training)

Kane is being escorted to the ring in shackles by police officers for the main event.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam
RVD dropkicks him out to start and follows with a bodypress as they brawl outside. RVD hits a moonsaults off the railing, but gets posted. Kane drops him on the stairs and pounds him down, and they fight up the railing and over to the entrance. Kane tries to chokeslam him off the stage, but road agents talk him out of it. Rob makes a brief comeback, but Kills him by throwing him into the stage, and they do the stupid pyrotechnic effect of the lights exploding. Kane goes after Linda, but Johnny Ace and Arn Anderson try to stop Kane, but he tosses them aside. Kane goozles Linda, Lawler tries to stop him, but gets beaten down. Kane assaults more referees. Kane lifts Linda up for the tombstone and gives it to her on the stage. FUCK YEAH!

 

[Keith]

Sounds a strong raw to me. Certainly Elvoution starting to build nicely as a group always thought they should have kept them around longer before turning Orton.

HBK/Jericho and Kane/RVD should make it worth a look alone.

Surprised to see that you didn't like Test/Booker. Would have thought their styles would have mixed well and Booker really was on his game back then.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 07/24/2003
Fresno, California

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Stephanie McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, says she'll try not to let her personal life get in the way of business. She informs us her father is where he needs to be, at her mother’s side. With Vince gone, she’s taking back Smackdown for the night. She says she thinks Fresno, California would like a little competition. A 6 man tag match; The Worlds Greatest Tag Team & The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle, Zach Gowin & The WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. She then turns her attention to Sable and says she better watch out because she gonna take out all of this pent-up aggression and anger on her. And she’s gonna treat her like the BITCH that she is. Suddenly, John Cena’s music his and out he comes wearing a dope Magic jersey. He cuts a great fuckin’ rap that he had a dream about her and how he can’t wait to see her in a cat fight. He ends it with him wanting to smack that ASS! Steph asks Cena if he is serious about smacking her ass and he responds with hell yeah,so she dares him to, Cena actually smacks that ass lol Sable’s music hits and she shows the replay of the catfight from last week. Sable then appeared via tron and challenged Steph to come to the back if she didn’t want to wait for Vengeance.

​

Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
Mattitude.com says, Mattitude is considered sacred in Japan, Matt defeated Kidman & Mysterio on consecutive Pay Per Views. This was a pretty good when Matt & Rey was in the other two not so much. I did like Kidman and Rey using a few double team to make it look like legit contenders, Moore would play the catch me if you can game leading to Kidman on the floor but as he’s about to go back into the ring Matt jumps him taking him out. That would lead to Matt and Moore having quite a good heat segment if I do say so myself. Oh Kidman being the piece of shit that he is pretty much no sells it, Rey’s hot tag fuckin’ ruled but the set up for the 619 is getting worse and more predictable now. Moore hitting a spinkick out of the 619 position was sweet, when the match began to break down and every man got their shit it in was pretty cool too. This would eventually end when Rey take out Matt on the outside with a moonsault and Kidman hit the shooting star press on the already out Shannon. **1/2 - **3/4

In the parking lot: Stephanie finds Sable and they fight. Sable's top is ripped off, and she gets in her limo. The door is locked, so Stephanie gets a pipe, but Vince McMahon steps in front of her. She says he's supposed to be with Linda, but Vince says he doesn't answer to her or Linda, and Stephanie should be concerned with Vengeance, or she'll wind up in a hospital just like her mom

Jamie Noble comes down to the ring and gets on the mic. He says that Nidia is sick, and her not being here has nothing to do with last week. He tells Torrie to stop acting like some kind of angel, and everyone knows a girl like her has a price, and says whatever it is, he'll pay it.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson)
BULLSHIT! Post-Match: Noble gets on the mic and challenges Gunn again and says he knows he's better than him at everything. Torrie takes the mic and says she's so sure of Gunn's abilities, that if Noble can beat Gunn at Vengeance, she'll sleep with him.

Backstage: The APA give A-Train an invite to the Bar Room Brawl and say Los Conquistadores, the TE3 winners, Doink, Brother Love, and in Faarooq's words, "that punk ass Easter Bunny" will also be there. Steve Lombardi wants in, since he's the Brooklyn Brawler, but they say he sucks. Bradshaw says he has until Sunday to prove himself.

​

Eddie Guerrero comes out in a 64 Impala, before he gets into the ring he has to put more wax on his front bumper and shines it lol. He says he can’t wait to wrestle for the US title and states that he and Benoit have been through hell and back in their travels throughout the world and that he believes Benoit to be his best friend. Chris Benoit comes out and says for a best friend, it's been months since Eddie called him. He asks how many best friends a man can have who lies, cheats, and steals. Benoit says they have done a lot together, but he's not going to lower his guard so Eddie can ambush him like he did to his last "best friend", Tajiri. Eddie says Benoit's right, and he's actually sick of Chris Benoit. All their travels together, and it's always about how Chris Benoit is the best. He says he's tired of being in Benoit's shadow and says Eddie Guerrero is 2nd best to NOBODY! Benoit challenges him right now to prove it, Eddie pretends to leave, but then attacks Benoit from behind! They fight, and it goes to the floor. Eddie grabs the spray wax, and sprays it in Benoit's eyes, blinding him. Rhyno comes down to make the save and challenge Eddie to a match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno
During the break both men start brawling but it’s Eddie getting the better as he’s being his super aggressive self but Rhyno catches a boot and counters it into the a powerbomb but instead of dropping him down drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle, that leads to Rhyno working the neck and head area of Eddie. But the crowd is BOOOOOOO’in the shit out him tho lol, Rhyno is working this really slowly with a ton of rest holds which is really hurting this. This whole thing is pretty muddled Eddie is supposed to be the hell so shouldn't he be controlling this plus why is Rhyno working the neck shouldn’t it be the ribs for the GOAR! And Eddie should be working over Rhyno’s once broken neck. Anyway Rhyno locks in a crossface but he gets to the ropes before sending Rhyno to the outside. He connects with a plancha before rolling him back in and connecting with the Helo senton for two. Eddie now begins to work the neck now, and it’s alright not as great as it should have been but maybe it’s because Rhyno cut off all neck work before it could get going. They go back and forth for a bit with both men hitting big moves. Rhyno sets Eddie up for the GOAR! But Eddie pulls the ref in front of him, as the refs back is turned he delivers a low blow to Rhyno and acts like he got hit as well Eddie then smirks off the camera then hits a running dropkick for the win. Match was disappointing but the ending was hilarious. **1/2

APA vs. FBI (w/Nunzio)
APA beat up all three members in 30 seconds, Brooklyn Brawler runs out. He takes out the APA with chair shots, and the Basham Brothers, A-Train, and O'Haire all come out to also beat up the APA. They leave, and the FBI also beats up the APA before leaving.

The Big Show & World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Kurt Angle, Zach Gowen & Brock Lesnar
This was good times, the opening was Kurt mat working with Shelton but Kurt got the better by hitting a Belly-to-belly but a Haas interference doesn’t help but it does allow Shelton to connect with a sick clothesline, they go back and forth for a bit until Haas tags in and he has not problems with Haas before tagging in Brock and he and Haas have a great mini encounters Zack tags in so Brock picks him up and just throws him into the WGTT Brock and Zack somewhat clean house but as soon as Zack is left alone Shelton fuckin’ kills him with a clothesline, Shelton is two for two with that Zack and Show battle now and it’s all Show but to Zack credit IDK If it’s the one leg or the fact that he’s like 50lbs but he bumps like a BEAST! Anyway, Show has him up for a chokeslam but Kurt has the re detracted allowing Brock to clip the knee taking him down. Kurt tags in but Show takes all three men out including pie facing Zach off the apron to the floor with one hand Kurt and Brock take Show out of the ring with a double clothesline but WGTT jump then as we see Vince coming out with a chair, he hits him once in the only leg he has before leaving. Brock takes out everyone in the ring as Kurt followed by Brock go to check up on him as we go to a commercial. Once we return we find out refs have taken Zach to the back leaving it a 3-2 match. WGTT & Show begin working over Kurt’s mid-section and lower back which was brutal, I really loved this 3 man team. WGTT hit the leapfrog backbreaker for two, as the crowd begin to get louder and louder but stop in silence as soon as Show tags in lol. Show locks Kurt in a half Boston crab but Kurt reverses it into a roll up for two but before Kurt and get up Show levels him with a clothesline allowing Haas to beat up on Kurt more. The heat continues for another few minutes, until Brock gets the hot tag and it fuckin’ rules so much the guy wrestles like he’s sniffed a ton of coke as he kills both Shelton and Haas but then show would hit him with a boot and would sell like a 50lb wrestler, but then out of nowhere he would pick show up and hit a suplex like its nothing. At one point in the match, Kurt locks Show in the ankle lock but before Shelton can break it up Brock picks him up for an F5 but as he hits it he accidentally swings him into Kurt's head, this allows Show to Chokeslam Kurt for the win. Post-Match: Brock kills The Big Show with a chair, and hits Haas with the F5. Kurt and Brock both grab the chair now, and argue over it. They yell at each other about the ending, Angle slaps Brock and it was on! Brock went for the F5 but Angle countered. Angle went for the Angle Slam but Brock countered but Show would hit a Double Chokeslam on them and poses over them to end the show. Fuckin’ match ***1/4

Smackdown goes off air​

 

[Crippler]

WWE Vengeance 2003
Denver, Colorado

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
US Champion: Vacant
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

United States Championship Tournament Finals: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
This fuckin’ match right here, THIS FUCKIN! MATCH RIGHT HERE! I love it so much, 2nd greatest opening match in WWE history behind Bret/Owen. Eddie mocking Benoit with the playing blind antic was hilarious. Just the opening few minutes of mat work is amazing, if blows the Jericho/Michaels and Kurt/WGTT out of the water it’s not even on this level. Everything was so smooth and clean no mishaps but they added little bits like Eddie wouldn't allow Benoit to full get something in so Benoit would have to alter it a vice versa. I would say the whole mat work was a game of “whatever you can do I can do better and hurt you more” Eddie staying true to the promo on Smackdown was game as everything Benoit did Eddie was like fuck you, I ain’t being number two tonight Eddie seems to get mad that he can’t win on the mat so he begins to chop Benoit, from that they go into the rolling cover sequence before Eddie uses his speed to anger Benoit but he takes a breather on the outside. Benoit slowly gets back into the ring and they take it back to the mat with Eddie getting the better of the two, he’s working the side headlock and the neck which is brilliant with the neck injury. But Benoit gets to his feet and they do this sweet reversal sequence out if the tombstone position. That allows Benoit to hit a nasty shoulder breaker and quickly attempts the crossface but Eddie makes it to the ropes forcing a break. He rolls to the outside but Benoit follows up with a tope suicida. Back in, and Benoit begins to work the arm but for some reason Benoit kinda forgets and tries to get aggressive with his strikes so Eddie hits a ‘rana off the top for a two count. Eddie taunts the crowd then comesback with a nasty backdrop drive as I swear Benoit lands on his neck, Eddie would cover for another two count. But now he’s getting cocky and locks in an armbar. But Eddie tries to chop Benoit but Benoit comes back with chops of his own so Eddie pokes him in the eyes. He tries a move but Benoit has this sweet comeback as he bounces Eddie all over the ring and it leads to a back suplex off the top rope and both men are down. Benoit slowly covers for two, both men are both to their feet and Benoit hits two Germans but on the third Eddie tries to counter but Benoit counters to the crossface but again Eddie makes it to the ropes. Backbreaker gets another two count for Benoit, but not it’s Eddie who hits 2 vertical suplex but on the third attempt he places Benoit on the buckles and hits it off the top I don’t think Eddie’s ever done that before. Eddie wastes time getting to the top rope which allows Benoit to move out of the way of the crossface. Huge powerbomb by Benoit for two Benoit again goes for the crossface but he makes the ropes again but this time Benoit doesn’t want to break so the ref forces him to relinquish the hold. Eddie pushes Benoit into the ref and rolls to the outside and grabs the US belt. He nails Benoit with it and follows up with a frog splash, but it only gets two. Eddie grabs the belt again, but this time tries the sneaky route by knocking the ref out and playing dead, but he does too good a job and can’t revive the ref. This allows Benoit to sneak up from behind with another crossface. This time Eddie is now tapping, but the ref is still out. Benoit releases to tend to the ref, he sees Eddie getting up so he hits him with another German suplex. Benoit heads up top looking for Headbutt, but Eddie pulls the ref in the way. Rhyno runs in and he looks like he’s gonna hit Eddie with a GOAR! But instead he GOARS! Benoit. Eddie looks shocked then shrugs like oh shit, he heads up top and connects with a Frog Slash for the win. AMAZING! I even love the overbooking and random heel turn at the end, this is so much fun, I could watch this every week. ****1/4

Backstage: Vince McMahon is sniffing a bouquet of flowers in Stephanie’s office. Stephanie walks in and Vince tells her that he’ll be on Raw this week to confront Kane about Tombstoning Linda. Stephanie gets upset at her father for even insinuating that he’s going to defend her honor after saying some disparaging remarks about her this past Thursday on Smackdown. Vince says that he’s trying to turn over a new leaf and that he bought her some flowers. Stephanie says that she likes the bouquet, but Vince then informs her that those aren’t her…those are Sable’s. He then gives her a handful of dried, cheap flowers before walking out

Indecent Proposal Match: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson)
If Noble wins, Torrie has to sleep with him. Torrie is looking insane like usual, Gunn is awful like usual but the shocking thing about this is Noble seemed off his game. Oh I should mention Noble cuts a promo during his entrance he holding a steel case and he says he has sex toys and sex oils in it. It should also be mentioned Noble has a new shirt so it’s nice to see that $100,000 is getting put to good use. They do some stuff for like 2 minutes, until Noble goes for a dive but as Gunn catches him his knee gives out and that allows Noble to work the knee. Nidia makes her way down to the ringside, Gunn no sold the knee. FUCK THIS GUY! They start doing some moves until Noble hits a top rope DDT for two. Nidia puts Gunn’s foot on the ropes, Nidia and Torrie beats up Noble outside, and back in he dropkicks the knee again. Torrie trips him up, allowing Gunn to sneak up on Noble and toss him back in. He goes for the swinging uranage, but Noble shoves him into Torrie and rolls him up for the win. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AT A BOY Jamie I’m proud of you. This match sucked though and should never happen again. *1/2

Backstage: Smackdown #1 announcer Funaki is back he shows the APA the footage from Smackdown with them getting their ass kicked. Bradshaw then invites Funaki to the Brawl. As Bradshaw cuts a promo about the upcoming fight, the Easter Bunny comes hopping by.

​

WWE Tag Team Championship: The Worlds Greatest Tag Team vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman
I haven’t seen this in years but I remember loving it for years. So let’s see how this holds up, oh Kidman and Rey are wearing matching all white attire with red. Shelton and Rey start and it’s AMAZING! Both men using their quickness but because they are so quick they couldn't maintain control for long. But Rey had to ruin it by tagging in Kidman how does thing, Haas tags in and he and Kidman have some nice counter stuff. He hangs Haas on the ropes and tags in Rey who hits a springboard legdrop. Some real good back and forth stuff from both teams here until Haas puts all his power in a Irish whip sending Rey chest first into the turnbuckles and they work over it. Rey had some great mini-comebacks which leads to Kidman getting tagged in but his shit doesn’t long. Mysterio and Kidman block the AWA Special, but Benjamin thwarts the 619. Kidman tosses Haas and hits a Shooting Star Plancha onto TWGTT Kidman rolls Haas back in for a two count, great near-fall. Haas then tries to bump Kidman to the outside but he lands on the apron, he manages to fight Haas off but Shelton tosses him into the ring post like it was nothing. SICK! WGTT now begin to work the back and it’s beautiful, these two are so aggressive Shelton pulling out a fuckin’ Redhook Ringer looks so good. Another thing I loved the fake tag with Haas on the outside, Shelton distracts the ref so he doesn’t see the tag between Rey and Kidman so Kidman has to comeback in for more beatings. Kidman counters a powerbomb into an x-factor, and Rey gets the hot tag that fuckin’ rules. I should mention the Kidman being the face-in-peril role, was perfect ‘cause no one gave a fuck about him so him getting the hot tag would have been crickets. Anyway, back to Reys sick hot tag he hits a 619 followed by the West Coast Pop to Haas but gets nothing because the ref is distracted. Benjamin kicks Rey in the head and Haas gets two. Rey hits him with a jawbreaker and Kidman puts him on top, setting up the alley-oop rana for a close two-count that fuckin’ near fall man. Shelton hits the Dragon whip spinkicks Kidman out of the ring, and Rey tries a ‘rana on Haas, but Benjamin springs in with a Doomsday Device for the win. FUCKIN’ AMAZING MATCH! Still holds up as one of the hottest and best tag matches in WWE.

Recap of the Stephanie McMahon/Sable feud. Steph’s sex noises are epic by the way.

Cat Fight: Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon
Steph looks in fuckin’ sane that is all, Steph beating the shit out of her was great but then Sable though she was a wrestler so she ruined the match by attempting that. UGH! Steph takes some awesome bumps tho, the match ends when Steph slaps Sable in the face and rubs her face against the canvas, she hits a Henning necksnap and rips Sable's top off. Brian Hebner takes his shirt off and gives it to Sable to cover herself. That allows A-Train to come in and steamroll Steph with an avalanche, Sable covers and gets the win.

John Cena vs. The Undertaker
Cena rocking the classic Indiana State Jersey He cuts a RAP! Before the match, highlights are “I don’t need tattoos and leather pants to try to act cool, I got throwbacks and steel chains, I lead the New School. It’s time to take out the evil, keep em restin’ in pieces” & “He had a good run, but its bye bye see you later, I’m the real dark side, half machine like Darth Vader” You think he’s beat John Cena, then yous a STUPID MOTHER! Oh lol @ Taker’s bike not working so he has to walk down the ring HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think that’s like the 2nd time that’s happen. Cena slapping Taker to start was EPIC! But it lead to no joke 6 straight minutes of Taker beating the shit out of him, it’s shades of the SD match they had maybe 2-3 months ago where Taker torches him, Cena only offense was a couple of body shots, spitting water and a WOAT slap. Taker is even shit talking him while doing so Taz brining up that Taker has been watching some MMA so he has added some submissions to his gameplan the start of Taker’s longevity, Taker hits old School followed by the Chokeslam 6 minutes in but during the cover Taker picks him up at TWO! HOLY SHIT! He sets up for the last ride but Cena slips out and connects with a desperation DDT but he doesn’t cover instead he takes the protection off the buckle exposing the steel. But he again makes the mistake of leaving Taker too much room so Taker beats him up for a bit more but Cena does manage to pull the buckle down and dodges an incoming Taker and Taker goes mid-section first into the steel. He begins to slam Taker into the barricades and Taker is now spitting up blood, oh shit! Cena’s rib work is aggressive and good but it’s not yet main event level. I give Taker so much credit the way he sold it was phenomenal, he could barely lock in moves for too long because he couldn’t breathe even his flying clothesline he couldn’t do correctly. Both men trade moves for some real solid near falls and it’s just broken down into a slugfest both men just trading bombs, at one point Referee Mike Chioda has to pull Taker off Cena, giving Cena a chance to pull out his chain and pound Taker in the gut with it. He follows up with an FU for a two count, GREAT NEAR FALL. Cena climbs the turnbuckle for the mounted punches, but he pauses for the "Word Life" taunt allowing Taker to pick him up with the Last Ride for the win. Great breakout match for Cena, can’t remember the last time I saw Taker bust his ass like this to make a guy look LEGIT! ***1/2

Mr. McMahon vs. Zach Gowen
This sucked. Vince working on Zach's leg was hilarious as it’s not like he’s got another leg to stand on if that one doesn’t work. So in the end he no sells it, at one point Vince grabs a chair, but it backfires when Zach dropkicks it back in his face. Vince gets a sick cut in his forehead. Gowen goes up again, but his twisting senton misses. Vince covers for the win. Oh I should mention this went 14 minutes lolwat. *

Backstage: Eddie Guerrero says a victory is a victory, and what Rhyno did to Benoit was Benoit's own fault. He says that's what friends do to you in the WWE, and the only friend he needs is his US Title, and that's not going anywhere for a long time.

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
Kurt & Brock faking that they’re not paying attention to Show to start just to attack him was great, but Show takes both men out and like 20 seconds in, as he Chokeslams Brock for two as Kurt breaks it up. This was not as good as I remembered it being, the majority of this was two in the ring and one out. Brock/Show and Brock/Kurt segments were cool. They do a cool 3 man spot though with Show blocking a double suplex, and he suplexes them. Double-chokeslam is blocked and they return with a double-chokeslam on Show. Brock hits a F5 on Kurt but he rolls out, he then hits on Show but Kurt pulls the ref out of the ring. BROCK! Is pissed so he throws him into the steps whipping him, Brock follows up by slamming his head off the steps then to the post taking him out for the time being. Great call back as Show tries the superplex on Brock off the top rope but Kurt distracts him long enough for Brock to counter and hit a FUCKIN’ RUNNING POWERBOMB FOR TWO! As Kurt breaks it up with a chair shot to the back. Kurt then kills Brock with a chair shot to Brock’s head unprotected. Show and Kurt brawl to the outside, where Show rips apart the announce table but as Show is about to chokeslam him Kurt counters it into an Angle Slam through the table Angle and Brock make it into the ring, they stare at each other from across the ring. Angle and Brock eventually get to their feet, staring a hole at each other the entire time. They slug it out, but Brock battles back and tosses Angle over the top rope. He follows up but gets whipped into the steel steps himself. He bounces Lesnar’s face into the steps several times before they go back into the ring, where Angle hits the three Germans. On the 4th one Angle then flips Lesnar up and over ONTO HIS FACE! Angle covers for two. Downs comes the straps off he goes for the Angle Slam, but Lesnar counters and connects with a spinebuster for two. Brock eventually gets to his feet and puts on a gutwrench on the mat, squeezing the life out of Angle, but Show comes back in and legdrops Brock. He covers both men for two. Show signals for chokeslams on both and hits it OH SHIT! He covers Brock for two. He then covers Kurt for two, because Brock broke up the nearfall on Angle. Show goes for a chokeslam on Lesnar, but eats a low blow. Angle and Lesnar go at it now and Lesnar ends up shoulder blocking the ring post so Angle puts on the Anklelock on Lesnar from there. Show gets up only to get an Angle Slam in the ring, Angle stalks and hits another Angle Slam on Lesnar for the win. This was pretty good when it was either Show/Brock or Brock/Angle. It had the usual problems with triple threat matches. Only other problem with this is the finish was pretty anticlimactic. ***1/2 - ***3/4

 

[Keith]

WWE Vengeance 2003
Denver, Colorado

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
US Champion: Vacant
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

United States Championship Tournament Finals: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
This fuckin’ match right here, THIS FUCKIN! MATCH RIGHT HERE! I love it so much, 2nd greatest opening match in WWE history behind Bret/Owen. Eddie mocking Benoit with the playing blind antic was hilarious. Just the opening few minutes of mat work is amazing, if blows the Jericho/Michaels and Kurt/WGTT out of the water it’s not even on this level. Everything was so smooth and clean no mishaps but they added little bits like Eddie wouldn't allow Benoit to full get something in so Benoit would have to alter it a vice versa. I would say the whole mat work was a game of “whatever you can do I can do better and hurt you more” Eddie staying true to the promo on Smackdown was game as everything Benoit did Eddie was like fuck you, I ain’t being number two tonight Eddie seems to get mad that he can’t win on the mat so he begins to chop Benoit, from that they go into the rolling cover sequence before Eddie uses his speed to anger Benoit but he takes a breather on the outside. Benoit slowly gets back into the ring and they take it back to the mat with Eddie getting the better of the two, he’s working the side headlock and the neck which is brilliant with the neck injury. But Benoit gets to his feet and they do this sweet reversal sequence out if the tombstone position. That allows Benoit to hit a nasty shoulder breaker and quickly attempts the crossface but Eddie makes it to the ropes forcing a break. He rolls to the outside but Benoit follows up with a tope suicida. Back in, and Benoit begins to work the arm but for some reason Benoit kinda forgets and tries to get aggressive with his strikes so Eddie hits a ‘rana off the top for a two count. Eddie taunts the crowd then comesback with a nasty backdrop drive as I swear Benoit lands on his neck, Eddie would cover for another two count. But now he’s getting cocky and locks in an armbar. But Eddie tries to chop Benoit but Benoit comes back with chops of his own so Eddie pokes him in the eyes. He tries a move but Benoit has this sweet comeback as he bounces Eddie all over the ring and it leads to a back suplex off the top rope and both men are down. Benoit slowly covers for two, both men are both to their feet and Benoit hits two Germans but on the third Eddie tries to counter but Benoit counters to the crossface but again Eddie makes it to the ropes. Backbreaker gets another two count for Benoit, but not it’s Eddie who hits 2 vertical suplex but on the third attempt he places Benoit on the buckles and hits it off the top I don’t think Eddie’s ever done that before. Eddie wastes time getting to the top rope which allows Benoit to move out of the way of the crossface. Huge powerbomb by Benoit for two Benoit again goes for the crossface but he makes the ropes again but this time Benoit doesn’t want to break so the ref forces him to relinquish the hold. Eddie pushes Benoit into the ref and rolls to the outside and grabs the US belt. He nails Benoit with it and follows up with a frog splash, but it only gets two. Eddie grabs the belt again, but this time tries the sneaky route by knocking the ref out and playing dead, but he does too good a job and can’t revive the ref. This allows Benoit to sneak up from behind with another crossface. This time Eddie is now tapping, but the ref is still out. Benoit releases to tend to the ref, he sees Eddie getting up so he hits him with another German suplex. Benoit heads up top looking for Headbutt, but Eddie pulls the ref in the way. Rhyno runs in and he looks like he’s gonna hit Eddie with a GOAR! But instead he GOARS! Benoit. Eddie looks shocked then shrugs like oh shit, he heads up top and connects with a Frog Slash for the win. AMAZING! I even love the overbooking and random heel turn at the end, this is so much fun, I could watch this every week. ****1/4

Backstage: Vince McMahon is sniffing a bouquet of flowers in Stephanie’s office. Stephanie walks in and Vince tells her that he’ll be on Raw this week to confront Kane about Tombstoning Linda. Stephanie gets upset at her father for even insinuating that he’s going to defend her honor after saying some disparaging remarks about her this past Thursday on Smackdown. Vince says that he’s trying to turn over a new leaf and that he bought her some flowers. Stephanie says that she likes the bouquet, but Vince then informs her that those aren’t her…those are Sable’s. He then gives her a handful of dried, cheap flowers before walking out

Indecent Proposal Match: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson)
If Noble wins, Torrie has to sleep with him. Torrie is looking insane like usual, Gunn is awful like usual but the shockinOh I should mention Noble cuts a promo during his entrance he holdig thing about this is Noble seemed off his game. ng a steel case and he says he has sex toys and sex oils in it. It should also be mentioned Noble has a new shirt so it’s nice to see that $100,000 is getting put to good use. They do some stuff for like 2 minutes, until Noble goes for a dive but as Gunn catches him his knee gives out and that allows Noble to work the knee. Nidia makes her way down to the ringside, Gunn no sold the knee. FUCK THIS GUY! They start doing some moves until Noble hits a top rope DDT for two. Nidia puts Gunn’s foot on the ropes, Nidia and Torrie beats up Noble outside, and back in he dropkicks the knee again. Torrie trips him up, allowing Gunn to sneak up on Noble and toss him back in. He goes for the swinging uranage, but Noble shoves him into Torrie and rolls him up for the win. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AT A BOY Jamie I’m proud of you. This match sucked though and should never happen again. *1/2

Backstage: Smackdown #1 announcer Funaki is back he shows the APA the footage from Smackdown with them getting their ass kicked. Bradshaw then invites Funaki to the Brawl. As Bradshaw cuts a promo about the upcoming fight, the Easter Bunny comes hopping by.

​

WWE Tag Team Championship: The Worlds Greatest Tag Team vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman
I haven’t seen this in years but I remember loving it for years. So let’s see how this holds up, oh Kidman and Rey are wearing matching all white attire with red. Shelton and Rey start and it’s AMAZING! Both men using their quickness but because they are so quick they couldn't maintain control for long. But Rey had to ruin it by tagging in Kidman how does thing, Haas tags in and he and Kidman have some nice counter stuff. He hangs Haas on the ropes and tags in Rey who hits a springboard legdrop. Some real good back and forth stuff from both teams here until Haas puts all his power in a Irish whip sending Rey chest first into the turnbuckles and they work over it. Rey had some great mini-comebacks which leads to Kidman getting tagged in but his shit doesn’t long. Mysterio and Kidman block the AWA Special, but Benjamin thwarts the 619. Kidman tosses Haas and hits a Shooting Star Plancha onto TWGTT Kidman rolls Haas back in for a two count, great near-fall. Haas then tries to bump Kidman to the outside but he lands on the apron, he manages to fight Haas off but Shelton tosses him into the ring post like it was nothing. SICK! WGTT now begin to work the back and it’s beautiful, these two are so aggressive Shelton pulling out a fuckin’ Redhook Ringer looks so good. Another thing I loved the fake tag with Haas on the outside, Shelton distracts the ref so he doesn’t see the tag between Rey and Kidman so Kidman has to comeback in for more beatings. Kidman counters a powerbomb into an x-factor, and Rey gets the hot tag that fuckin’ rules. I should mention the Kidman being the face-in-peril role, was perfect ‘cause no one gave a fuck about him so him getting the hot tag would have been crickets. Anyway, back to Reys sick hot tag he hits a 619 followed by the West Coast Pop to Haas but gets nothing because the ref is distracted. Benjamin kicks Rey in the head and Haas gets two. Rey hits him with a jawbreaker and Kidman puts him on top, setting up the alley-oop rana for a close two-count that fuckin’ near fall man. Shelton hits the Dragon whip spinkicks Kidman out of the ring, and Rey tries a ‘rana on Haas, but Benjamin springs in with a Doomsday Device for the win. FUCKIN’ AMAZING MATCH! Still holds up as one of the hottest and best tag matches in WWE.

Recap of the Stephanie McMahon/Sable feud. Steph’s sex noises are epic by the way.

Cat Fight: Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon
Steph looks in fuckin’ sane that is all, Steph beating the shit out of her was great but then Sable though she was a wrestler so she ruined the match by attempting that. UGH! Steph takes some awesome bumps tho, the match ends when Steph slaps Sable in the face and rubs her face against the canvas, she hits a Henning necksnap and rips Sable's top off. Brian Hebner takes his shirt off and gives it to Sable to cover herself. That allows A-Train to come in and steamroll Steph with an avalanche, Sable covers and gets the win.

John Cena vs. The Undertaker
Cena rocking the classic Indiana State Jersey He cuts a RAP! Before the match, highlights are “I don’t need tattoos and leather pants to try to act cool, I got throwbacks and steel chains, I lead the New School. It’s time to take out the evil, keep em restin’ in pieces” & “He had a good run, but its bye bye see you later, I’m the real dark side, half machine like Darth Vader” You think he’s beat John Cena, then yous a STUPID MOTHER! Oh lol @ Taker’s bike not working so he has to walk down the ring HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think that’s like the 2nd time that’s happen. Cena slapping Taker to start was EPIC! But it lead to no joke 6 straight minutes of Taker beating the shit out of him, it’s shades of the SD match they had maybe 2-3 months ago where Taker torches him, Cena only offense was a couple of body shots, spitting water and a WOAT slap. Taker is even shit talking him while doing so Taz brining up that Taker has been watching some MMA so he has added some submissions to his gameplan the start of Taker’s longevity, Taker hits old School followed by the Chokeslam 6 minutes in but during the cover Taker picks him up at TWO! HOLY SHIT! He sets up for the last ride but Cena slips out and connects with a desperation DDT but he doesn’t cover instead he takes the protection off the buckle exposing the steel. But he again makes the mistake of leaving Taker too much room so Taker beats him up for a bit more but Cena does manage to pull the buckle down and dodges an incoming Taker and Taker goes mid-section first into the steel. He begins to slam Taker into the barricades and Taker is now spitting up blood, oh shit! Cena’s rib work is aggressive and good but it’s not yet main event level. I give Taker so much credit the way he sold it was phenomenal, he could barely lock in moves for too long because he couldn’t breathe even his flying clothesline he couldn’t do correctly. Both men trade moves for some real solid near falls and it’s just broken down into a slugfest both men just trading bombs, at one point Referee Mike Chioda has to pull Taker off Cena, giving Cena a chance to pull out his chain and pound Taker in the gut with it. He follows up with an FU for a two count, GREAT NEAR FALL. Cena climbs the turnbuckle for the mounted punches, but he pauses for the "Word Life" taunt allowing Taker to pick him up with the Last Ride for the win. Great breakout match for Cena, can’t remember the last time I saw Taker bust his ass like this to make a guy look LEGIT! ***1/2

Mr. McMahon vs. Zach Gowen
This sucked. Vince working on Zach's leg was hilarious as it’s not like he’s got another leg to stand on if that one doesn’t work. So in the end he no sells it, at one point Vince grabs a chair, but it backfires when Zach dropkicks it back in his face. Vince gets a sick cut in his forehead. Gowen goes up again, but his twisting senton misses. Vince covers for the win. Oh I should mention this went 14 minutes lolwat. *

Backstage: Eddie Guerrero says a victory is a victory, and what Rhyno did to Benoit was Benoit's own fault. He says that's what friends do to you in the WWE, and the only friend he needs is his US Title, and that's not going anywhere for a long time.

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
Kurt & Brock faking that they’re not paying attention to Show to start just to attack him was great, but Show takes both men out and like 20 seconds in, as he Chokeslams Brock for two as Kurt breaks it up. This was not as good as I remembered it being, the majority of this was two in the ring and one out. Brock/Show and Brock/Kurt segments were cool. They do a cool 3 man spot though with Show blocking a double suplex, and he suplexes them. Double-chokeslam is blocked and they return with a double-chokeslam on Show. Brock hits a F5 on Kurt but he rolls out, he then hits on Show but Kurt pulls the ref out of the ring. BROCK! Is pissed so he throws him into the steps whipping him, Brock follows up by slamming his head off the steps then to the post taking him out for the time being. Great call back as Show tries the superplex on Brock off the top rope but Kurt distracts him long enough for Brock to counter and hit a FUCKIN’ RUNNING POWERBOMB FOR TWO! As Kurt breaks it up with a chair shot to the back. Kurt then kills Brock with a chair shot to Brock’s head unprotected. Show and Kurt brawl to the outside, where Show rips apart the announce table but as Show is about to chokeslam him Kurt counters it into an Angle Slam through the table Angle and Brock make it into the ring, they stare at each other from across the ring. Angle and Brock eventually get to their feet, staring a hole at each other the entire time. They slug it out, but Brock battles back and tosses Angle over the top rope. He follows up but gets whipped into the steel steps himself. He bounces Lesnar’s face into the steps several times before they go back into the ring, where Angle hits the three Germans. On the 4th one Angle then flips Lesnar up and over ONTO HIS FACE! Angle covers for two. Downs comes the straps off he goes for the Angle Slam, but Lesnar counters and connects with a spinebuster for two. Brock eventually gets to his feet and puts on a gutwrench on the mat, squeezing the life out of Angle, but Show comes back in and legdrops Brock. He covers both men for two. Show signals for chokeslams on both and hits it OH SHIT! He covers Brock for two. He then covers Kurt for two, because Brock broke up the nearfall on Angle. Show goes for a chokeslam on Lesnar, but eats a low blow. Angle and Lesnar go at it now and Lesnar ends up shoulder blocking the ring post so Angle puts on the Anklelock on Lesnar from there. Show gets up only to get an Angle Slam in the ring, Angle stalks and hits another Angle Slam on Lesnar for the win. This was pretty good when it was either Show/Brock or Brock/Angle. It had the usual problems with triple threat matches. Only other problem with this is the finish was pretty anticlimactic. ***1/2 - ***3/4

Most people would seem off their games when in the ring with Gunn, boy did that feud suck.

Anyway this does look one awesome SD and I will be revisiting it at some point.

Will be interesting to that Cena/Taker match because I would think back in a 03 a match between the two would be pretty poor.

Wonder what you think of the PPV been awhile since I have seen that one.

Opps see what I did there 4: Boy that Vengeance was one hell of a card!DP:

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 07/28/2003
Colorado Springs, Colorado

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Booker T
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Gail Kim

Vince McMahon’s music hits. He grabs a mic and says, he's on RAW to avenge what Kane did to his wife last week. He says that he’s going to confront Kane, not because he’s a good husband, but because he’s a man and Kane is not. Kane is an animal, and he will have the authorities will bring Kane into the arena so that Vince can address him in the ring here tonight. He says that he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but he’s willing to guaran-damn-tee that all hell will break lose before the night is over.

Christian & Test vs. Booker T & Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
Christian looks great wearing orange and gold shit looks cool, as for the match it was far from cool or even good. Only real enjoyable stuff was Booker/CLB but even that was all the same stuff we've seen from them, the past months nothing new. Test sucks so back as he tries to be this big aggressive guy but it’s not believable and looks awful and Scotty is Scott so it’s hilariously bad, his only offense is belly-to-belly, suplexs and clotheslines oh he bust out the push up press slam. The match didn’t have any real structure it’s just stuff happening for 10 minutes, I did like when all 4 men just ended up brawling on the outside then Scott gets dropped arm and headfirst onto the steel steps and all you hear is one long bleeeeeeeeep it lasts like 5 seconds He sells the wrist like it’s broken though so that’s a plus I guess. As we return from a commercial Scott is back to no selling and hot tags Booker in which ruled, the match would end like 2 minutes later when Test accidentally kicked Christian in the face allowing Booker to hit the scissors kick for the win. *1/2

Footage is shown of the SummerSlam press conference that took place last week, and after Eric Bischoff hypes up the show, he announces that the RAW Main Event will be Triple H defending his World Heavyweight Title against Bill Goldberg.

Steven Richards vs. Goldberg
Richards jumps Goldberg before as he enters the ring, but Goldberg beats him down, and then military presses him high over his head. He throws Richards into the air, catches him with a slam. Richards takes a long time to get up, but when he goes Goldberg spears. He’s not done as he picks Richards up and plants him with a Jackhammer for the win. Post-Match: Triple H says that the match was impressive, and Richards may be a hell of a competitor, but he’s not the World Heavyweight Champion. Triple H then says that Goldberg has no idea what he’s in for. Goldberg says that he’s standing right here, and that if Triple H is such a badass, why wait until SummerSlam when they can fight tonight. Triple H says that Goldberg just doesn’t get it. Since he’s the Champion, he calls the shots whether anybody likes it or not, and Goldberg’s reputation is going to make Triple H a whole lot of money once he beats Goldberg’s ass at SummerSlam. Flair snatches the mic, and says that Triple H will whip Goldberg’s ass on his time. Goldberg says that since Triple H is afraid to come to the ring, why Flair doesn’t come down. Flair throws down his sports coat without hesitation but he has to be held back by Triple H & Orton. Bischoff comes out and says that he’s in charge tonight since Austin hasn’t made up his mind yet, he says that he’s not giving the fans Flair/Goldberg without proper promotion. He says that if they want to do it that bad, then they can do it next Monday when RAW goes to Vancouver. Goldberg says that Flair’s ass is next, and again, Ric Flair has to be physically restrained from charging down the ramp.

Val Venis vs. Rico (w/ Miss Jackie)
lolno

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is ordering people to leave the area because Kane is arriving soon, and then yells at a woman who nearly opens the door to the van prematurely. Bischoff says that nobody orders that door until Vince McMahon says so, which means Kane will stay locked up for a little while longer.

Chris Jericho comes down to the ring ‘cause it’s time for the Highlight Reel, he says that it’s ironic that RAW is in Colorado this week because he’s on a Rocky Mountain high since his win over Shawn Michaels last week. He said that he did something last week that nobody else has ever done, which is make Shawn Michaels submit. He shows the footage on the Jeritron 5000, and the fans boo. Jericho says the assclowns can boo all they want, but the tap out was official. Jericho says Randy Orton is a star on the rise and a diamond in the rough, EVOLUTION IS MYSTERY! Hits and Orton makes his way out. Orton and Jericho shake hands upon, and Orton says that it is an honor for him to be in the ring with Jericho tonight. He says that on behalf of Evolution, he wants to tell Jericho that they all love what Jericho is doing with the Highlight Reel. Orton presents Jericho with a gift, which is the new Evolution t-shirt. Jericho says that he’d love to present him with a Highlight Reel t-shirt, but they’re all sold out lol. Jericho asks Orton just why he came to the ring last week. He says that despite Orton executing the RKO onto Shawn, he didn’t need Orton’s help to defeat the “Heartbroke Joke” and he wants answers. Orton says that he screwed Michaels at Bad Blood, he destroyed Mick Foley at Madison Square Garden, and that he had no choice but to RKO Shawn Michaels last week because he has to make a name for himself. He says Shawn Michaels is simply the next legend he’s going to kill, Jericho says that Orton is very correct on his statement and then calls Orton a sexy beast baby. Jericho introduces Michaels as the man who tapped out to the devastating pain inflicted by the Walls of Jericho Michaels makes his way out. He says that Jericho evened the score last week, but he didn’t get the job done on his own and everybody knows that he can’t do it. Michaels asks Orton if he really thinks he’ll be the man to kill of the legend of HBK. He says that if he had a nickel for every time a new stiff came into the WWE and said that about him, he’d be a millionaire. But, he’s already a millionaire because of stiffs like Orton. Michaels says that he’s going to kill Orton’s career before it even gets started. Jericho says that perhaps Michaels is forgetting that it was he who beat him last week, and Michaels says that the third time will be a charm right here tonight in Colorado Springs because Michaels/Jericho III is about to take place. Jericho says that there will be absolutely no chance of a rematch in front of the assclowns of Colorado Springs, and that he has nothing to prove to Michaels. Orton tries to attack Michaels, but Shawn lays out both Orton and Jericho with right hands. He tries to take on both men but the numbers catch up to him, so both Jericho & Orton beat Michaels into the ground. Kevin Nash comes to the ring and pulls Jericho to the floor and rams his face into the ring apron. Orton runs away though, Nash grabs the mic and says that since Jericho said he’ll fight anybody who isn’t named Shawn Michaels. The last time he checked, his name wasn’t Shawn Michaels. Nash waits for Jericho’s answer as we go to a commercial.

Kevin Nash vs. Chris Jericho
Nash pretty much beats the shit out of him for a few minutes with Jericho bumping like a mad man, he no sold all of Jericho offense which was predictable. The match would ends, when Nash hits a big boot but as he’s looks for another move Jericho low blows him. Post-Match: Jericho tries to put Nash in the Walls of Jericho, but Nash slips out. Jericho dropkicks Nash in the knee and takes the turnbuckle cover off. He tries to ram Nash into the turnbuckle, but Nash manages to send Jericho to the floor, Jericho grabs a chair and brings it into the ring. He charges at Nash with the chair, but Nash kicks it back into his face busting Jericho open, Nash puts Jericho up on his shoulder and drops his face on the unprotected metal turnbuckle not once, but twice with snake eyes, he follows up by throwing Jericho over the opposite turnbuckle and head-first into the post. Nash beats Jericho up against the barrier, and then whips him hard into the steel steps. Nash removes the padding from the barrier and drops Jericho face-first onto it, he picks up the steel stairs. But Jericho is able to leap escape through the crowd before Nash can get to him.

Backstage: The Hurricane says that he senses sadness is Rosey, so Rosey explains that he doesn't know about this whole Super Hero in Training thing. He asks about a mask, a cape, and obtaining super powers. So the Hurricane says Rosey will have Hurripowers soon enough, and then flies away. Rosey tries to blast off as well but he realizes he cannot fly just yet.

In the parking lot: The doors open on the van, as the security guards wanted to give Kane some air, Eric Bischoff steps in and demands Kane stay in the van until he gives the orders.

WWE World Tag Team Championships: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak
The Dudley Boyz come down to the announce table, lol @ Cade & Jindrak getting a title match because they beat the champs on heat, oh and to make it worse the Dudleyz tried to put them over. This went 8 minutes HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I quit watching before the match even started matter of fact I went and ate dinner good ‘ol home cooked pasta made my mum. Good times, fuck everyone involved with this match though.

In the parking lot: The Security guards, armed with stun guns, let Kane out of the van and escort him into the arena.

WWE Women’s Championship: Molly Holly vs. Gail Kim
This was three minutes of nothing and Molly won the title after hitting the Molly-Go-Round, now I don’t want to brag but did I not call this last week huh? And I don’t even look at the spoilers for next week when I watch. Gail is just that bad, Molly is the only other heel/wrestler on the show. I guess they could have given it back to Victoria.

Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says he’s waited long enough and it’s time for Kane to come out. Kane comes out escorted by several security officers, locked up in shackles and chains. Vince comes out and stands face-to-face with Kane at the bottom of the ramp/ He says that it’d be real easy to beat the hell out of Kane right now. Vince then orders the officers to take the chains off, the do so Vince dismisses the officers and orders Kane to get into the ring. Kane gets into the ring and gets in Vince’s face, he asks Kane just who the hell he thinks he is for piledriving his wife into the stage. Vince calls Kane a French fried freak, and then calls Kane a monster. He says that Kane is a real, live remorseless monster and that he could do a lot with a monster in the palm of his hand Before Kane can give his answer, Austin’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Austin snatches the mic from Vince and then stares Kane down. He first announces that he is staying on as Co-RAW General Manager, and then says that he just can’t whip Kane’s ass just because he sees fit as a result of Linda’s proposal. With that being said, Austin says he’s out here looking to be provoked into a fight, and orders Kane to provoke him. Austin rips on Kane calls Kane a stupid son of a bitch. Kane throws his black towel to the ground, and Austin continues to provoke him. Austin orders Kane to take his best shot, but Kane simply backs away. Suddenly, Shane McMahon’s music plays and out comes YOUNG SIMBA! Shane steps into the ring, and takes Kane over the top rope with a clothesline to the floor and is about to beat the hell out of Kane, but Vince pulls him off. Shane responds by laying Vince out with a right hand, chasing Kane up the ramp with a chair. Shane nails Kane with the chair and bashes him over the head repeatedly. Shane musters up all of his power with one final chair shot that sends Kane off the stage and through tables, but after only a few seconds, Kane sits up and laughs at the punishment. Shane looks on with a look of disbelief as the show goes off the air

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 07/31/2003
Colorado Springs, Colorado

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE US Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and gets on the mic. He says that there really wasn't any doubt that he'd win back the WWE title, after only four months since recovering from neck surgery. Kurt says that this title victory was his favorite cause he wasn't sure if he'd have the opportunity again. Suddenly, Brock Lesnar's music hits and he comes down to the ring. He says he knows how much the comeback and title win meant to Kurt, and at Vengeance, he did what Brock thought impossible and beat him to win his title, and Brock challenges Kurt for a rematch. Kurt accepts, but Vince McMahon comes out and claims Angle had instructed Vince to not give Lesnar a re-match. Brock gets upset, and Kurt denies it. Vince says Kurt is an awful friend and says Kurt would just as soon sell Brock down the river as shake his hand, and Vince finds that admirable in Kurt. Vince says Lesnar will earn that tonight as he teams with Kurt Angle against two opponents of his choosing.

Shelton Benjamin (w/Charlie Haas) vs. Rey Mysterio (w/Billy Kidman)
Pretty good 5 minute spotfest, it’s a shame Shelton’s arm work ended up being a waste because it was really good. This was an action packed that had plenty of back and forth action, Haas got involved on a number of occasions, and the end came when Kidman was chasing Haas around ringside. The match ends when Rey hit the 619 and attempts the Drop the Dime but Shelton caught it. Rey then countered it to a victory rollup for the win. **1/2

In a hotel room: Jamie Noble dances around in his boxer briefs and a cowboy hat as he opens up his sex box, waiting for Torrie. Torrie Wilson arrives and Jamie Noble shows her his padded leopard skin handcuffs and paddle.

Chris Benoit is PISSED! As he makes his way down to the ring, he’s supposed to be facing his former friend Rhyno who cost him the US title at Vengeance. But Rhyno shows up on the tron. He says Benoit had it coming at Vengeance for treating his tag partner as a joke, he says he gonna and I quote “Gonna smack the living shit out of him” but first he has a warm up opponent for Benoit, and it's someone who knows a little something about jokes.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink The Clown
Benoit constantly yelling "COME ON RHYNO!" at Doink while beating the shit out of him was godly, this was a total squash Benoit just destroys him for 2 minutes and ends it with a Headbutt followed by Crossface. Post-Match: Benoit gets on the mic, and calls out Rhyno. He gets back on the tron, and says no, and walks out of the building.

In the hotel room: Jamie Noble tries to coax Torrie Wilson into bed as someone starts to knock on the door, Noble gets up to answer the door and its Nidia. Nidia walks in and stands in front of Torrie Wilson, and drops the fur coat, showing off the good. Torrie looks on in disgust as Noble and Nidia start having sex in front of her.

Backstage: Kurt Angle is showing off his championship belt to Spanky & Funaki, Kurt says that he asked Vince McMahon to keep in mind the investment he has in both of them. He says that he'll give Brock Lesnar a rematch any time he wants, and says he has an idea.

Eddie came out in his lowrider but the hydraulics are broke. Eddie looks in the trunk to investigate, but Tajiri came out of the trunk and gave Eddie the green mist to the face AWESOME! The refs come out and try to check on Eddie as he screams he can’t wrestle he can’t see. The doctors come out and do the eyes test but all Eddie says is he wants his belt. Suddenly, the ref says he must defend the title tonight or he will lose the title. DA FUCK SINCE WHEN CAN THE REFS START MAKING MATCHES? OH THIS IS THE SAME REF EDDIE BEAT UP AT THE PPV, BUT STILL! DA FUCK!

WWE US Championship: Tajiri vs. Eddie Guerrero
During the break, Eddie still complains the he can’t see but his eyes are wide open he’s so angry he asks the doctor where did he get his licence from, he’s not even licences ‘cause he can’t see This was tons of fun, with Tajiri is still upset so he comes out super strong and aggressive , just beating Eddie up every way possible. He begins to targeting the head with kicks and elbows, but he doesn’t go for covers he just wants to gain revenge. Eddie does the greatest trick I’ve ever seen as he throws Tajiri out of the ring but the ref keeps stopping him from following him to the outside so Eddie taps his shoulder from behind and goes the other way to the outside I found it weird that Eddie didn’t forces on one body part as in a space of 2 minutes he went from working the heard, back and arm back to the head. So all of that went to waste as he no sold it anyway, the match would eventually breakdown into some real good back and forth moves until Eddie is sent into the steps back first. Tajiri follows up with one of the most sexist kicks ever for two, as both men begin to pick up the pace with spots and it’s AWESOME! The match would end when Eddie ducks the headkick and pulls the ref into him, and then low blows Tajiri and tells the ref he didn’t do anything. The ref then talks to Eddie but as Eddie walks away Tajiri sprays the mist but Eddie ducks and hits the ref. He’s down and that allows Tajiri to superkick him down, the ref is still down so Eddie rolls out and grabs the US title. He hits Tajiri in the head and grabs the water and begins to flush the mist out of the eyes of the ref. As the ref comes back Eddie hits the frogsplash off the top for the win. LIE! CHEAT! STEAL! Real fun match, and again the ending makes so much sense with the gimmick that Eddie is doing. ***1/4

Fuckin’ Zach Gowen’s tribute airs, UGH!

Zach Gowen vs. Shannon Moore (w/Matt Hardy)
Mattitude.com says, Matt's favorite season is summer, Matt is twice the wrestler Zach Gowen is. Oh look it’s a handicaps. Yeah that’s right I’m calling Moore a handicap, fuck him. Moore mocked Gowen early on in this match, was hilarious though. They do some stuff for 3 minutes it sucked, Gowen was going after Hardy on the apron and Moore was able to roll him up for the victory. After the bell, Matt Hardy beat on Gowen.

John Cena comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he cuts a rap about how Taker and Orlando Jordan might actually be gay together. Before challenging Taker to a rematch next week.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan
SQUASH!

In the hotel: Nidia and Jamie Noble get out of the shower and say it will now turn into a threesome, but she refuses. Another knock at the door and it turns out to be Billy Gunn. Noble backs up and says he hasn't laid a finger on Torrie tonight. Gunn asks Torrie if she is okay and she says a little drunk, but okay. Nidia and Noble start going at it again in the background as Gunn and Torrie look on.

Backstage: Brock Lesnar enters McMahon's office, he reminds him of two weeks ago when Vince said he'd fight Brock, but not then. Brock challenges him to fight him next week so Brock could earn his #1 Contender's spot. Vince says he'll think about that #1 Contender thing, but he accepts the match for next week. Vince then tells Brock not to turn his back on his "friend" Kurt Angle tonight.

Back in the hotel, all four are in bed together. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sable comes to the ring, she shows footage of the ending and says it helps to have friends in high places. She thanks Vince and says she'll see him later. She then introduces half of Vince's chosen tag team, and the man who proved that chivalry is not dead. The A-Train and his tag Partner the Big Show.

Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar vs. A Train & Big Show
This main event was not too interesting really, this was 90% angle in the ring as he was getting his ass kicked in a somewhat decent heat segment. Lesnar finally was tagged in cleaned house but then ended up on the receiving end of a boot by Show while hoisting A Train into the F5. Lesnar gets back to his feet and eventually puts Show into an F5, but as Lesnar lands Angle tags himself in and covers Show for the victory. Post-Match: Brock didn't appreciate Angle stealing the pin, so he gives Kurt an F5. Vince comes out to end the show and announces that next week's main event will be Brock Lesnar vs Vince McMahon in a STEEEEEEL cage. Oh, Kurt Angle is also the special referee. **1/2

 

[Keith]

WWE Smackdown 07/31/2003
Colorado Springs, Colorado

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE US Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring and gets on the mic. He says that there really wasn't any doubt that he'd win back the WWE title, after only four months since recovering from neck surgery. Kurt says that this title victory was his favorite cause he wasn't sure if he'd have the opportunity again. Suddenly, Brock Lesnar's music hits and he comes down to the ring. He says he knows how much the comeback and title win meant to Kurt, and at Vengeance, he did what Brock thought impossible and beat him to win his title, and Brock challenges Kurt for a rematch. Kurt accepts, but Vince McMahon comes out and claims Angle had instructed Vince to not give Lesnar a re-match. Brock gets upset, and Kurt denies it. Vince says Kurt is an awful friend and says Kurt would just as soon sell Brock down the river as shake his hand, and Vince finds that admirable in Kurt. Vince says Lesnar will earn that tonight as he teams with Kurt Angle against two opponents of his choosing.

Shelton Benjamin (w/Charlie Haas) vs. Rey Mysterio (w/Billy Kidman)
Pretty good 5 minute spotfest, it’s a shame Shelton’s arm work ended up being a waste because it was really good. This was an action packed that had plenty of back and forth action, Haas got involved on a number of occasions, and the end came when Kidman was chasing Haas around ringside. The match ends when Rey hit the 619 and attempts the Drop the Dime but Shelton caught it. Rey then countered it to a victory rollup for the win. **1/2

In a hotel room: Jamie Noble dances around in his boxer briefs and a cowboy hat as he opens up his sex box, waiting for Torrie. Torrie Wilson arrives and Jamie Noble shows her his padded leopard skin handcuffs and paddle.

Chris Benoit is PISSED! As he makes his way down to the ring, he’s supposed to be facing his former friend Rhyno who cost him the US title at Vengeance. But Rhyno shows up on the tron. He says Benoit had it coming at Vengeance for treating his tag partner as a joke, he says he gonna and I quote “Gonna smack the living shit out of him” but first he has a warm up opponent for Benoit, and it's someone who knows a little something about jokes.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink The Clown
Benoit constantly yelling "COME ON RHYNO!" at Doink while beating the shit out of him was godly, this was a total squash Benoit just destroys him for 2 minutes and ends it with a Headbutt followed by Crossface. Post-Match: Benoit gets on the mic, and calls out Rhyno. He gets back on the tron, and says no, and walks out of the building.

In the hotel room: Jamie Noble tries to coax Torrie Wilson into bed as someone starts to knock on the door, Noble gets up to answer the door and its Nidia. Nidia walks in and stands in front of Torrie Wilson, and drops the fur coat, showing off the good. Torrie looks on in disgust as Noble and Nidia start having sex in front of her.

Backstage: Kurt Angle is showing off his championship belt to Spanky & Funaki, Kurt says that he asked Vince McMahon to keep in mind the investment he has in both of them. He says that he'll give Brock Lesnar a rematch any time he wants, and says he has an idea.

Eddie came out in his lowrider but the hydraulics are broke. Eddie looks in the trunk to investigate, but Tajiri came out of the trunk and gave Eddie the green mist to the face AWESOME! The refs come out and try to check on Eddie as he screams he can’t wrestle he can’t see. The doctors come out and do the eyes test but all Eddie says is he wants his belt. Suddenly, the ref says he must defend the title tonight or he will lose the title. DA FUCK SINCE WHEN CAN THE REFS START MAKING MATCHES? OH THIS IS THE SAME REF EDDIE BEAT UP AT THE PPV, BUT STILL! DA FUCK!

WWE US Championship: Tajiri vs. Eddie Guerrero
During the break, Eddie still complains the he can’t see but his eyes are wide open he’s so angry he asks the doctor where did he get his licence from, he’s not even licences ‘cause he can’t see This was tons of fun, with Tajiri is still upset so he comes out super strong and aggressive , just beating Eddie up every way possible. He begins to targeting the head with kicks and elbows, but he doesn’t go for covers he just wants to gain revenge. Eddie does the greatest trick I’ve ever seen as he throws Tajiri out of the ring but the ref keeps stopping him from following him to the outside so Eddie taps his shoulder from behind and goes the other way to the outside I found it weird that Eddie didn’t forces on one body part as in a space of 2 minutes he went from working the heard, back and arm back to the head. So all of that went to waste as he no sold it anyway, the match would eventually breakdown into some real good back and forth moves until Eddie is sent into the steps back first. Tajiri follows up with one of the most sexist kicks ever for two, as both men begin to pick up the pace with spots and it’s AWESOME! The match would end when Eddie ducks the headkick and pulls the ref into him, and then low blows Tajiri and tells the ref he didn’t do anything. The ref then talks to Eddie but as Eddie walks away Tajiri sprays the mist but Eddie ducks and hits the ref. He’s down and that allows Tajiri to superkick him down, the ref is still down so Eddie rolls out and grabs the US title. He hits Tajiri in the head and grabs the water and begins to flush the mist out of the eyes of the ref. As the ref comes back Eddie hits the frogsplash off the top for the win. LIE! CHEAT! STEAL! Real fun match, and again the ending makes so much sense with the gimmick that Eddie is doing. ***1/4

Fuckin’ Zach Gowen’s tribute airs, UGH!

Zach Gowen vs. Shannon Moore (w/Matt Hardy)
Mattitude.com says, Matt's favorite season is summer, Matt is twice the wrestler Zach Gowen is. Oh look it’s a handicaps. Yeah that’s right I’m calling Moore a handicap, fuck him. Moore mocked Gowen early on in this match, was hilarious though. They do some stuff for 3 minutes it sucked, Gowen was going after Hardy on the apron and Moore was able to roll him up for the victory. After the bell, Matt Hardy beat on Gowen.

John Cena comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he cuts a rap about how Taker and Orlando Jordan might actually be gay together. Before challenging Taker to a rematch next week.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan
SQUASH!

In the hotel: Nidia and Jamie Noble get out of the shower and say it will now turn into a threesome, but she refuses. Another knock at the door and it turns out to be Billy Gunn. Noble backs up and says he hasn't laid a finger on Torrie tonight. Gunn asks Torrie if she is okay and she says a little drunk, but okay. Nidia and Noble start going at it again in the background as Gunn and Torrie look on.

Backstage: Brock Lesnar enters McMahon's office, he reminds him of two weeks ago when Vince said he'd fight Brock, but not then. Brock challenges him to fight him next week so Brock could earn his #1 Contender's spot. Vince says he'll think about that #1 Contender thing, but he accepts the match for next week. Vince then tells Brock not to turn his back on his "friend" Kurt Angle tonight.

Back in the hotel, all four are in bed together. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sable comes to the ring, she shows footage of the ending and says it helps to have friends in high places. She thanks Vince and says she'll see him later. She then introduces half of Vince's chosen tag team, and the man who proved that chivalry is not dead. The A-Train and his tag Partner the Big Show.

Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar vs. A Train & Big Show
This main event was not too interesting really, this was 90% angle in the ring as he was getting his ass kicked in a somewhat decent heat segment. Lesnar finally was tagged in cleaned house but then ended up on the receiving end of a boot by Show while hoisting A Train into the F5. Lesnar gets back to his feet and eventually puts Show into an F5, but as Lesnar lands Angle tags himself in and covers Show for the victory. Post-Match: Brock didn't appreciate Angle stealing the pin, so he gives Kurt an F5. Vince comes out to end the show and announces that next week's main event will be Brock Lesnar vs Vince McMahon in a STEEEEEEL cage. Oh, Kurt Angle is also the special referee. **1/2

Benoit really made the most out of that one, but Rhyno looked silly.

Another pretty strong show things are picking up.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 08/04/2003
Vancouver, Canada

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Booker T
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

YOUNG SIMBA! Shane McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, and says that tonight he's gonna finish what he started last week with Kane, he's going to make Kane's life a living hell! Eric Bischoff then interrupts and says that if Linda McMahon hadn't given the night off, Kane wouldn't have assaulted her. Eric then says there's nothing else he'd rather see, than for Shane McMahon to get his revenge on Kane, but instead Vince McMahon made the match of Kane vs. RVD for Summerslam. Shane says that's fine, but he wants Kane tonight. Eric says that Vince also said to not let that happen, so he's had ordered security to throw Shane out of the building. But he’s going to give Shane McMahon the opportunity to leave on his own. Shane calls Eric Bischoff a "parasite" and doesn't give a damn what his father said. Austin comes out now and tries to stir it up Austin says that Eric Bischoff has a blackbelt and will kick Shane's ass! He then says that Eric Bischoff "cares very deeply" for Linda McMahon. But before he leaves he books Eric vs. Shane in a No DQ match tonight. Eric says a GM can't put his hands on a signed superstar, but Austin says Shane isn't signed. Eric is about to protest, but he accepts the match, and it's on.

Bubba Ray Dudley (w/D-von Dudley) vs. Rene Dupree (w/Sylvian Grenier)
This is pretty terrible for the majority, it’s mostly all the French guys cheating and terrible heat offense. Bubba was in the decline here but thankfully in 9 to 10 years later he would finally refind himself again. I do give him credit he really tried his best to make Rene look somewhat good, he did that by bumping and great high flying at times. The match would end when Rene Dupree tries to use the flag as a weapon, but Sylvian Grenier accidentally clotheslines him. This allows D-Von to enter the ring and KILL! Rene Dupree with the flag, busting him open, so Bubba can hit the Bubba Bomb for the win. *1/4

Backstage: Evolution is talking in their dressing room, as Randy says it sucks that Hunter injured his groin and ask’s how bad it is. Flair says it’s so bad that it took 3 SEXY female to get him to sleep last night Eric Bischoff runs in panicking and tells Triple H that he's got a proposition for him.

Randy Orton vs. Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
Before the match, Randy gets on the mic and says he can feel the tense in the arena tonight. Because everyone in this arena came to see Randy Orton’s nipples than Stacy’s This was hilarious due to Scotty being Scotty and not wanting to do much except talk shit when he’s on offense, but Randy has his moments. His dropkick is on point before he tries to work the neck but Scotty no-sells the shit out. Randy would use Stacy as a shield, allowing him to cheap shot Scotty and take over the match again. The match is just a lot of back and forth nonsense, but thankfully Test would show up causing a distraction allowing Orton to hit the RKO for the win. *3/4

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is stressing out about their deal, and Triple H says to calm down and says they have it taken care of.

Backstage: Rosey is trying to become Hurricane's superhero in training, but Christian comes up. He says eating burgers isn't a superpower, and brags about leaving Booker T hurt and off the show tonight. He asks Hurricane why he thinks he can actually beat him, and Hurricane says because of his Hurripowers, bitch. Christian leaves and Rosey has a box marked S.H.I.T. He says it's his superhero in training gear. Hurricane says he's not ready and walks off.

Backstage: Austin finds Bischoff talking to Rodney Mack and tells Mack to leave. Austin asks what he's doing, and Eric says he negotiated to have Evolution in his corner tonight. Austin asks why Triple H would agree to that, and Eric says he made H vs. Goldberg at SummerSlam into a No DQ match.

Christian vs. The Hurricane
This is fun for two minutes, tons of sweet counters and high flying from both. Christian wins by pulling the tights, Hurricane protests the referee’s decision and Christian attacks him from behind. Rosey, dressed in an orange, green & purple super hero outfit, makes the save and hits a sidewalk slam on Christian. Rosey & The Hurricane pose for the audience afterwards.

In the parking lot, Kane is in the police tank, and surrounded by cops.

Ric Flair & Triple H comes out for Flair match against Goldberg. Suddenly, Triple H heads to the commentary table for this match.

Goldberg vs. Ric Flair
This is what is was, Flair bumps around huge and tries to cheat to gain the advantage the best he could. His legwork was fun tho, but Goldberg no sells the shit out of it. LOL @ Hunter asking coach to make himself useful and massage his groin. Goldberg continues to beat the shit out of Flair for several minutes, before setting up for the spear. But Randy Orton runs in and whacks Bill Goldberg with a chair for the DQ. Triple H limps down to the ring and gets a sledgehammer out from under the ring, he nails Goldberg with the Hammer in the ribs He sets him up for another shot, but Shawn Michaels runs out to save. Chris Jericho runs out after Shawn to attack him, which also brings out Kevin Nash! The faces clear the ring, and GM Austin comes out.

Stone Cold Steve Austin announces that the World title will be defended in an Elimination Chamber at Summerslam. It will be Triple H vs. Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton. Flair tries to sneak in with a chair, but Goldberg KILLS Flair with a brutal Spear.

Back from a commercial, Teri interviews some bum with Shawn and Nash still in the ring, and Shawn goes to leave, but Chris Jericho sneaks around to attack Kevin Nash. Shawn comes back in for a 2 on 1, and Jericho is hit with the Jackknife Powerbomb.

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is pacing again and wanting to know if Evolution will be in his corner tonight. Triple H says if Eric Bischoff can reverse the Elimination Chamber, then they'll back him. Eric says he can't do anything about it and Triple H says Eric Bischoff is own his own then.

WWE Women's Championship: Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus
This was weird, it was super rushed and was all go, go, go then things got worse with these awfully sloppy pinning combinations. Trish was fun offense being really aggressive and took the fight to Molly until Victoria comedown and hit her with a TKO on the floor for the DQ UGH! Post-Match: Victoria and Molly fight over who gets to beat up Trish, but then team up to beat up Trish. Gail Kim runs out to save, and clears the ring. Gail helps up Trish before then turning on her and clotheslining her. Gail slaps Trish, and leaves

In the parking lot: Shane tries to charge at Kane in the wagon, but is held back by the cops and taken away by two of them.

Backstage: Lance Storm talks to someone off screen and admits that he's boring. He says he needs help from one man who's NOT boring at all, and it's Goldust! Goldust says that they're gonna have a Baa--baaa-baaall--aallallll!

In the parking lot: Eric tells the cops that Shane took out those two and is out of control. They walk off, leaving Kane unguarded, and somehow, Eric has control of the keys :hm:

Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
Both men are wearing matching green color on their attire, terrible. RVD gets the better early on using his quickness and “unorthodox feet” to kick Jericho’s face in, but Jericho goes to the eyes and begins to take over but he misses a corner charge and goes headfirst into the ring post taking him out. RVD would follow up with a baseball slide but missed a dive and hits the barricades knocking the wind out of him; this allows Jericho to slam him on the floor before working RVD for a bit. He switches it up so he goes from working the mid-section, to back then head and neck area. This lasts for several minutes and it’s alright, both men fight over a suplex but RVD wins by suplexing him to the floor, both men are slow to get into the ring but when they do Jericho hits him with a dropkick and goes back to work. Springboard kick allows RVD to make his comeback; with the usual flashy offense we get 2 or 3 really good counter sequences which were shades of Jerry/RVD. The match again goes back and forth with tons of big moves and counters, but out of nowhere RVD catches Jericho with a dropkick in mid-air, and he hit the Split Legged Moonsault for the win. Finally Raw gets something right, only took them about an hour and 20 minutes. Good shit. ***

Chris Jericho gets on the mic and blames his loss on a conspiracy against him and on Kevin Nash and he calls him a big stupid son of a bitch He says he's Mr. Canada, Dammit and he wants to take something from Nash that he's proud of, Jericho challenges Nash to a Hair vs. Hair Match.

No Holds Barred Match: Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon
Eric Bischoff comes out and warms up with a crew member. Shane comes out and brawls with Eric Bischoff for about 45 seconds. Suddenly, Kane's music hits and Kane came out without any chains or shackles OH SHIT! Shane quickly leaves the ring and attacks Kane on the floor. They brawl on the floor until Kane kicks him in the face; he then follows up by chokeslaming into the ringpost. Kane then tombstones Shane on top of the metal ring steps outside the ring. He rolls Shane into the ring where Eric Bischoff covers him for the win. Eric Bischoff covers Shane McMahon again and forces the referee to count 1-2-3 a second time. Eric then celebrates by forcing Coach and Lawler to give him high fives

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 08/07/2003
British Columbia, Canada

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE U.S. Champion: Eddie Guerrero
WWE Tag Team Champions: World’s Greatest Tag Team
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
So this was great for the short amount of time it got, the mat work to start was beautiful. Great counters and one-upmanship going on with both men trying to work the arm, they would move to a test of strength game that Benoit wins, so Eddie kicks him and tries to trade chops but Benoit has him beat at that too so Eddie goes to the eyes to take over. Eddie gets super aggressive working all over Benoit switching from arm, back to mid-section. Cole does a great job saying that Eddie is smart for working the arm cause it neglects the Crossface. Just as he says that Benoit makes his comeback but he forgets to sell the arm, he hits this AMAZING POWERBOMB that gets the crowd hype but as he heads up top for the Headbutt Rhyno runs down shoving Benoit off the top. Eddie then heads ups but he misses the Frog Splash, Benoit hits this sweet Tope Suicida to Rhyno. As Tajiri comes out through the crowd and jumps Eddie for the DQ. Post-Match: All 4 start brawling until Sergeant Slater randomly comes out and tells the Referees and agents that this is gonna be a take match.

Seeing how I have the unedited Smackdown tape, it has Cole saying he could call a Benoit/Eddie match all day

Chris Benoit & Tajiri vs. Eddie Guerrero & Rhyno
Benoit locks in the crossface to Rhyno straight away but Eddie breaks it up allowing his team to work over Benoit. A great moment happens as Benoit looks like he goes for a baseball slide through Eddie’s legs but instead he takes him out by the ankles. This allows a Tajiri hot tag that rules but as he has the Tarantula locked in on Rhyno. Benoit comes in which distracts the ref allowing Eddie to nail Tajiri with a baseball slide dropkick, giving his team the advantage back. They work over Tajiri lower back and knee’s for a bit, at one point Tajiri lunches Eddie over the top so it looks like he has a clear path to tag in Benoit but Rhyno shoves him to the side so he can deck Benoit. Rhyno begins to punch away at Tajiri and I guess during that Benoit blind tagged his way in, so Tajiri gives Rhyno the mist as Benoit hits him with a German. As Tajiri is on the mat Eddie hits him with the frog splash, and Benoit locks him in the crossface making Eddie tapout. Just the usual goodness from the Smackdown guys. ***

Backstage: Josh Mathews (who is looking super douche) interviews Kurt Angle, he says rumor has is but Kurt cuts him off and makes fun of rumors about Josh that includes, duck tape, bananas and a Justin Timberlake picture. Kurt Angle says that no matter what happened last week, Brock is still his friend, and friends don't let issues go unresolved. Kurt says that tonight, before the match, he's going to find Brock and talk with him face to face until their issue is resolved.

Mattitude.com says Matt puts ketchup on one fry at a time; Matt is a better commentator than Michael Cole.

Zach Gowen vs. Nunzio
Matt & Shannon sit ringside to do commentary, Matt uses this time to talk about how terrible Gowen is and how he doesn’t deserve this. This was mostly Gowen’s ridiculous bumps and Nunzio beats the shit out of him which was hilarious. The match would end when Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore distracted Zach Gowan and Nunzio hits him with a middle rope dropkick for the win. Post-Match: Matt hits Zach with the Twist of Fate.

Backstage: Undertaker finds Vince McMahon, who has Sable on his lap. He says "excuse me", and Sable scurries off. Taker says he thought he'd seen all Vince's tricks, but getting a 6'8 300 pound A-Train to run through his own daughter so his oil hoochie can win at Vengeance is just about the worst. He says that if he was in the McMahon family, he would have beaten Vince to a bloody pulp by now, Funaki runs in to tell Vince to come quick. He walks off, and Brock is laid out. The FBI and Kurt Angle stand there, and the FBI walk off, saying they found him like this. Vince looks at Kurt and then Brock, and points at him smiling. KURT IS PISSED! SWERVE! The crowd is already chanting bullshit

​

The Undertaker vs. John Cena
This in a lot of ways is just like the Vengeance match, it’s completely dominated by Taker early on with arm work and Taker basically beating the shit out of the kid for 10 minutes, but that slight hiccup and that happens when Taker hits a superplex off the top. It only took that small opening for Cena to pounce all over those “broken ribs” Cena's rib work and Taker's selling of it was phenomenal, the match breaks down to a slugfest and Taker’s comeback was epic, the whole time he grabs the ribs even to the point that he has to alter his game at times like instead of attempting the leg drop he would drop the elbow instead. Taker signals for the Last Ride but Cena slips out so Taker shoves him into the ref, Taker would then hit Cena with the chokeslam but A-Train would run down and attack Taker, Taker manages to fight him off for a bit but Train catches him with a big boot a follows up with a backbreaker as Cena slowly covers for two. Taker starts bleeding from the mouth again as he slowly tries to nail Cena with the Tombstone but Cena slides out again and hits the FU for the win. This was fun, not Vengeance level but still real good and a good win for Cena. **3/4

According to Cole, Brock WILL compete tonight.

Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) vs. Doug Basham (w/Danny Basham & Shaniqua)
Total Noble carryjob, he does the best he could with these three fucks. The majority of the match is Danny Basham keeps interfering, so Nidia gets on the apron and complains that allows Shaniqua to pull Nidia off the apron and Knoble tolls up Doug for the win. Post-Match: The Basham Brothers double-team Jamie Noble until Billy Gunn makes the save.

Backstage: Josh Mathews says that people are saying Kurt Angle had something to do with Brock being attacked, Kurt Angle says he was on his way to talk to Brock when that happened, and it wasn't him. He says he'd still like to talk to Brock, but if he knows him, he's pretty mad now, so it can wait until after tonight.

Rey Mysterio vs. Charlie Haas (w/Shelton Benjamin)
Cole just mentioned Kidman is away on his honeymoon SWERVE! And Torrie Wilson wasn’t with Billy Gunn when he made the save in the last match, wait a minute :hm: Some nice mat work to start, but Rey uses his quickness to stay out of the grip of Haas, he then begins to stick and move offense before stopping to hit Benjamin. That allows Haas to punk him out from behind Rey’s bulldog is blocked with a backbreaker, and Haas stomps away. Haas takes out working over the back and mid-section of Rey for the most part. This would last for several minutes and is super fun. Haas misses a blind charge and Rey takes him into the turnbuckle and goes up, but Haas knocks him down and slugs away. He misses yet another charge, however, and Rey springboards in and dropkicks Haas on the mat for two. Rey pounds away on the mat and springboards with a high cross for two. Haas comes back, but gets kicked into 619 position; but Rey botches the shit out of it as he misses the ropes They redo it on the other side and he connects with 619 this time but misses the West Coast Pop. Haas counters a ‘rana with the Haas of Pain for the tapout win. Fun, fun, fun. **1/2 - **3/4

Steel Cage Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Vince McMahon (Special Referee: Kurt Angle)
Brock overpowers Vince to start and quickly gets the F5, but suddenly drops him and collapses. This immediately gets a huge “BULLSHIT” chant. Kurt is concerned, but Vince insists on going for the pin anyway. Angle won’t count, so Vince gets in his face, Kurt puts Vince in the ankle lock, BUT BROCK KIPS UP, AND HITS KURT WITH THE F5! Brock helps Vince McMahon to his feet as they give one another the evil smile FUCK YEAH! Brock beats the shit out of him, and when I mean beat the shit out of him Kurt dies. Brock throws him 5 or 6 times into the cage mesh, busting him open. Vince brings in the WWE Championship and gives Brock Lesnar, he says that it belongs to him. The show would end with Brock and Vince holding up the title, but Brock isn’t done as he nails Kurt with the WWE title before gorilla press slamming him again into the side of the cage again. AMAZING! HEEL BROCK FOR THE WIN!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 08/11/2003
Moline, Illinois

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly

RAW’S DEBUT ON SPIKE TV!

Eric Bischoff comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he begins to brag and gloat right off the bat by making Lillian announce again that he won the match last week over Shane. He then rolls the footage of the match last week, with Kane destroying Shane allowing Eric to get the pin. Eric says he’s so proud of himself and he respects Vince so much, as well as that big breasted Linda and he even respects Steph but not Shane. He says Shane has only gotten this far in life because of his last name. Jim Ross suddenly makes his surprise return to a great little pop; he comes down to ring and threatens to sue Eric Bischoff over the "Kane burning him" segment. Eric says we can work this out, he then fires coach off commentary and begins to suck up to JR But before he can start, Austin comes out and says it’s good to see JR back. Austin says he though this might happen so he drew up a contract to settle this. He whispers something to JR and JR agrees, Austin then says that Good Ol’ JR will drop the charges if Eric Bischoff faces a certain individual of his choosing tonight. Eric gets cocky thinking it’s Shane and signs the contract without reading it (No wonder WCW went out of business ) Austin calls Eric Bischoff a dumb, dumb, dumb, stupid son of a bitch for not reading the fine print, he then announces that Eric Bischoff will face KANE tonight on RAW!

Rico & Miss Jackie vs. Scott Steiner & Stacy Keibler
This was a mess, so bad. Best part of the match was Rico/Jackie doing the Scotty/Stacy entrance but it’s Rico playing the role of Stacy fuckin’ awesome. Scotty beats the piss out of him early. So Rico tags Jackie in and in another EPIC Scotty moment he looks at Jackie, looks down at his dick and yells at her “Are you in here to suck my dick, or what? What the hell are you in here for” HOLY SHIT! Best moment of 2003 without a doubt. He the tags in Stacy and the two divas do some stuff, it’s pretty hawt. The match would end when Test pulls Scotty off the apron and they brawl through the crowd, this would allow Jackie to pin Stacy with a legdrop. Post-Match: Scott would get on the mic and say this is a bunch of bullshit, he’s tired of Test sticking his nose in his business and then tells Test it’s time to finish this once and for all right now. Test gets on the mic, and says it’s on just not tonight next week and you know what he stole Stacy from him and he wants her back. So next week Test/Scott with Stacy on the line and Stacy accepts.

Backstage: Ric Flair says Austin is drunk with power, by putting him in a match with Goldberg tonight and that Evolution can’t interfere tonight. Hunter comes in and says he’s sick of this Austin/Eric power struggle game cause it’s ruining their lives. He says two weeks outside SSlam he has to defend the title against 5 guys inside a chamber, the same chamber that the last time he was in almost ended his life. Randy then says he’s only defending the title against 4 guys, or as he likes to say we’re defending the title against 4 guys Young Randy with a dream. He then says he was not at the last chamber match, but he guarantees that at SSlam Triple H will be walking out of the match with the title. Triple H says he's tired of everybody screwing with them, and says it time for them to screw with everyone else.

The Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance
Less than a minute into the match, Rene Dupree used the US flag on the Dudleyz for the DQ, Sylvian Grenier breaks the flag pole over his knee and they drink from a bottle of French wine and spit it onto the fallen Dudleyz

Backstage: Goldust walks up behind Molly Holly and says she has a thing for GOLD! And he would like her to meet someone who is not, not boring. Lance Storm enters with Goldust make up and reads from a cue card. Lance says he would like congratulate her on her huge ass, ass, ass, ass Molly then slaps him before he can get the rest of the line out with was ascension in the divas division Goldust says were going to faze two.

Backstage: Nash and Shawn are talking; Nash says his hair isn’t going anywhere and on the highlight reel tonight he’s got something for him. Nash then moves on to SSlam and says he’s winning the title. Shawn then says he’s won it once and he will do it again. Goldberg comes up to them and says thank you for last week, but as for SSlam he’s gonna be walking out with the title. Shawn then gets in his face and says he has a problem with that.

Booker T’s music hits but instead Christian comes out wearing the IC Championship. Cole then mentions that last night on a house show, Christian won the title back and Booker will be out with a herniated disk. Christian gets on the mic and says that will be the last time you’ll be hearing that music for a long time, because last night in front of his peeps he beat Booker and injured his back. Winning his title back, and seeing how this is the debut of Raw on Spike TV he’s found the perfect opponent. CAN YOU DIG THAT! Suddenly Spike Dudley comes out and the match is on.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Christian vs. Spike Dudley
This was fun due to Christian being a dick and Spike bumping big for him, at one point Christian hits this AWESOME gutbuster for a two count, he begins to work the mid-section and that’s fun. But whenever Spike would fire back he would no-sell it until Christian would cut him off. Spike has a nice full comeback that Christian sold really well, but it’s just a shame that the crowd didn’t really buy it. The match would end when Christian shoves him chest first into the buckles and hits the unprettier for the win. Good Stuff. **1/2

Backstage: The police guards escort Kane out of the truck, but Eric runs up and talks to him. He says remember last week when he set him free and that allowed him to get his hands on Shane. Eric says the make a great team, and he says let’s make it easy and Eric will lay down for him. Kane laughs at him and says we’re not going to do things his way; they’re gonna do things my way (The KANE way) and leaves.

Jim Ross comes out and relieves Jonathan Coachman of his announcing duties. The Coach bitterly hands his headset over to Jim Ross and shakes his hand, Jerry Lawler remarks that The Coach's handshake was insincere. I wonder if this will lead to anything

Kane vs. Eric Bischoff
Eric Bischoff lays down in the center of the ring and motions for Kane to pin him, Kane grabs him by the throat and lifts him straight up in the air and holds him there he begins to rethink it and gently drops Eric Bischoff and then flips over the top rope and leaves the ringside area. The ref begins to count to 10 and Eric Bischoff wins by COUNT OUT! 2-0 Kane comes back to the ring and grabs the microphone from Lilian Garcia, he says he won't destroy Eric Bischoff just because the fans want him to. He then says he's listened to people his whole life and its gotten him no where and from now on he's going to do what he wants. Suddenly, Rob Van Dam then comes out and attacks Kane. He dives off the top rope to the outside but Kane moves, and RVD crashes into the barricade. Kane brings a chair into the ring, but RVD ducks and fights back; they brawl for a bit but when RVD missed the five-star-frog splash and lands on the steel chair. This allows Kane to kills him with a chair shot.

WWE Woman’s Championship: Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim
This was all Trish, she took out both girls and dominated early showing that she is probably the best woman’s wrestler in the company at that time and it’s not even close, everything she hit was smooth and had great impact. I loved how aggressive she was going at Gail but she took her eye of Molly for too long and that backfired. Then Gail almost commits suicide by diving over the top but her feet hit the top rope and she landed face first onto the floor and Trish. For the next few minutes Gail and Molly would work over Trish but Molly would outsmart her by turning on her and that was it what a waste.

Backstage: Flair is still pissed and is talking to Orton about it, Hunter then comes in and says he was talking to Eric and seeing how Eric was so happy about his “Big Win” against Shane last week, and his “Big Win” against Kane tonight, that they can do whatever they want. Hunter says Eric won’t change the match, but he will add to it. So Hunter gives Randy a referee shirt and says he’s now the ref. Randy says he will call it down the middle and Ric is pumped, WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THE SHIT!!!!​

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is celebrating his victory, when Austin comes in. Eric says it’s been 2 weeks in a row that he’s outsmarted him and it’s not that easy. Austin then says there was an added stipulation in the contract that he signed at the start of the show. Austin says that the winner of Kane vs. Eric Bischoff would face Shane McMahon at SummerSlam.

The Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack
Lawler says that Teddy Long has been on a cruise and will be back next week This match was a whole lot of garbage, Hurricane wins. Post-Match: Rodney Mack attacks him from behind until Rosey ran down to make the save.

Chris Jericho comes down for the Highlight Reel; Jericho says the rules are that when he beats Nash he will be forced to cut that silly hair off his head. But if he loses he promises to cut all the hair off his facial hair Jericho says he’s a huge rock star and makes these hilarious poses showing off his hair He then says he should be in a damn shampoo commercial with hair like this. Kevin Nash then comes down to the ring with a steel briefcase, Nash says the problem with this is not him losing his hair but a chance to change his image, he calls Jericho stale and shows pictures of what Jericho would look like if he had no hair. Nash making house party jokes was gold, Jericho then fake laughs and says the funny thing will be when he eliminate Kevin Nash in the Elimination Chamber and become World champion, sport. He then calls Nash a “Nashhole” WHAT? Kevin Nash opens the briefcase and brings out a set of hair clippers, he then threatens to kick Jericho ass and shave his head right now unless he accepts the hair-vs.-hair match. Jericho accepts and says that it will happen next week. Jericho then attacks Nash as he tries to leave, but Nash gets the better and tries to cut his hair, but Jericho crawls under the ring to escape but Nash pulls him out from under ring. Jericho has the fire extinguisher in hand and sprays it in his eyes before running away.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg (Special Referee: Randy Orton)
This was so hilarious, EVOLUTION THEME NOW HAS THE LYRICS ON IT Randy comes out first, Flair comes out and Orton hands him a pair of brass knuckles to Ric Flair before the match. Goldberg makes his way down to the ring and, right off the bat Flair punches him with the Knucks and Orton fast counts him but it’s only a two It’s basically 2-1 with Orton help cheating for Flair whenever and giving Flair fast counts all the time, then when Goldberg would go for a pin it’s a slow count. Goldberg is pissed so he tries to chase Orton allowing Flair to hit him in the back with a chair, but Goldberg no sells it and grabs both guys by the throat. Flair goes low twice and applies the figure-four, Goldberg would eventually reach the ropes but Randy Orton kicks Goldberg's arms off this is great. He would manage to break the hold and fight back; he would spear Randy and then deliver on to Flair. Suddenly, Shawn Michael's runs down and goes nose-to-nose with Goldberg. Shawn superkicks Randy, while Goldberg Jackhammers Flair with Shawn making an unconscious Randy counts the fall.