Cody Rhodes:
I am here to discuss my upcoming Street Fight with Goldust, That is what I am supposed to talk about. But honestly I feel we have so many other…Pressing matters to talk about, I mean tonight is Roulette night…Tonight is a night I actually hold very near and dear to my heart. Some people might not remember why exactly, but to those of you who do hoo hoo I can tell you I replay that night in my head over and over again. The twist, that split second we both were in mid-air watching the world turn around us, the feel of…Exuberance once my back hit the mat. Oh let me tell you all it was a Release, to those who may not remember on a night dubbed Roulette like this very one tonight I took the owner, Vincent…Kennedy…McMahon down to the Cross Rhodes. And the only real question is…how can I follow that on this roulette night? Well it just so happens that I have a friend with me here tonight…you may know him better as…The General Manager of Smackdown.
Cody smirks as he tilts his head back and then slowly twist his head to one side, you can hear a crack in his neck before his head turns over looking down. He raises an open hand before crouching down, reaching for something, he pulls it up but instead of being a head in his grasp it’s a cardboard cut out of…Zack Ryder
Zack Ryder! To what do I owe this pleasure?
Cody looks down at the cut out, as if waiting for an answer before he speaks again.
That’s right folks, Zack Ryder here with me, now since coming to Smackdown I haven’t had the pleasure of getting acquainted with you Zack so it’s nice to finally be in your esteemed presence. Now we all know what I think and what Goldy thinks about our little family reunion at the Royal Rumble, but what do you think is going to happen?
Cody snaps his head to one side, his ear touching his shoulder
This is stupid
Cody straightens out and shakes his head before continuing on
Here’s the real question, how do you Smackdown folk get your jobs anyways? I mean you’ve had people like Desmond Wolfe whom I’ve never heard of, senile old men like Ric Flair, and well…you I mean what is the criteria? First you have to stop being relevant, then you have to show up, and the job is yours?
Cody faces the other way, an angry look on his face as he stares forward at nothing.
What’s the point of this?
Rhodes turns back to Ryder, getting a smile back on his face
Oh I see you can’t divulge that kind of information, I understand, legal jargon and all that. But Zack what I think the world wants to know is why did you give my brother a job, we all know he’s not as good as he once was…and even then let’s be honest what did he really accomplish. Sometimes I feel like calling him the black sheep of the family, but when I look at it objectively…he fits right in with the rest of them. Dusty liked entertainment and Goldy just can’t get enough of the movies, so honestly maybe I’m the odd man out. I mean without his little make-up, Goldy is just a thinner…less charismatic Dusty. But Me, I look nothing like either of them…I look, feel, make decisions, wrestle, jump, talk, run, win, and do everything you can imagine…better…In fact the only thing WRONG with me is them, the only black head protruding from my proboscis is anyone else with my last name. I work hard Zack, I work really hard to look as…Dashing…as I do, we all know Genetics weren’t in my favor. I worked really hard just to get where I am today, to be better in the ring than everyone else and to prove it. I worked myself to the bone to get rid of every bad thing that could be associated with me, but there’s still Rhodes…so at the Royal Rumble I begin my Road to Wrestlemania by destroying the Rhodes I’ve had to walk on my whole life…and as I reach that crossroads, on one side the juking and jiving polka dot paved Fun side, and the golden trimmed with red carpet filled with shocked faces and questionable looks on the other…I’m going carve my own way. Become Better, like I always have been, and once the smoke clears Cody Rhodes shall stand alone, brushing the Dust from his shoulders.
Cody looks up towards the lights in the room he’s in, before he looks back down at the cardboard cut out he still has.
You know, you’re a good listener, and something about you reminds me of my brother. I’ve kicked, turned psycho, and just plain beaten all my past general managers, hell the last one I left through a table backstage…but I think we can get along. ENOUGH
Cody throws the cut out to the ground in anger, talking in a low monotone voice.
We know Austin is General Manager, I'm tired of this and it's gone far enough.
Cody starts talking to himself, each time changing his voice and facial expression slightly.
Why won’t you let me have any fun?
You had your fun, it’s time for me to have mine.
When is it my turn?
Shut up...just... once the Royal Rumble is over, we can let you take control. But stay in until then, we can’t have you messing us up in a street fight.
Just…Try not to hurt the face too much.
It’s not our face you should be worried about...Heh heh...
Cody takes a long deep breath in, shaking a little as he leaves off screen.
Ultimate Wrestling Federation Presents......
"For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica starts off this special "SmackDown Roulette" edition os UWF Saturday Night SmackDown. We are taken to the jam-packed arena as the fans are already electric. An impressive pyrotechnics display begins going off as the camera whips around the arena, showing off crazed fans and a sea of signs.
We are then taken to ringside as Joey Styles, Tazz and Jerry "The King" Lawler are standing by.
Styles: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a very special edition of UWF Saturday Night SmackDown! I'm Joey Styles, "The Voice of Extreme" alongside, as always, the "Human Broadcasting Machine" Tazz and, of course, Jerry "The King" Lawler!
Tazz: And indeed is it pretty special tonight, Joe, because it's SmackDown Roulette!
The King: Just one week away from the 2014 Royal Rumble, tonight every match stipulation will be determined by a spin of the Roulette wheel!
Styles: And, we've got some great, exciting action lined up tonight. We've got "The Icon" Steve Borden taking on the "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry!
Tazz: Not only that but we've got Olympic gold Medalist Kurt Angle going toe-ta-toe with my man Samoa Joe, baby! What about the wedding of "Tha Mastapiece" Chris Masters and Layla, too?
The King: What about our main event? Finally, Sami Callihan and Brodie Lee, the T.I.O.C. get their World Tag Team Championship opportunity when they take on the champions Fandango and Ethan Carter the Third!
Styles: That's going to be a barn-burner, as our RAW colleague JR would say but, right now, we head to the Roulette wheel where SmackDown GM Stone Cold Steve Austin is waiting to determine the stipulation for our first contest, UWF United States Champion King Booker taking on Kevin Steen.
We are directed to the back where SmackDown GM Stone Cold Steve Austin is standing by with the SmackDown Roulette wheel.
Stone Cold: Look 'ere, now normally we'd do this before each and every match but since ya'll don't wanna see ole' Stone Cold's mug each and every damn time we have a match, I tell ya' what we're gonna do. Right now, I'm just gonna spin this 'ere wheel and we'll just find out all of the match stipulations at one damn time.
We are then directed to the wheel.
Stone Cold: Alright, let's see this sum bitch spin!
Austin spins the wheel and it lands on First Blood.
Stone Cold: Alright, King Booker vs Kevin Steen is gon' be a First Blood match!
Austin spins the wheel again and it lands on Blindfold Match.
Stone Cold: Next, it's gon' be Steve Borden vs Mark Henry in a Blindfold Match!
After another spin, the wheel lands on Ironman Match.
Stone Cold: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe in a 30-minute Ironman match, god damn son, that'll be good!
Another spin reveals a Flag Match.
Stone Cold: And in the match between the C.U.N.T. 's and the Assholes, it's gon' be a damn Flag Match!
One final spin puts the wheel on a Wild Card Match.
Stone Cold: And for the main event, we got the World Tag Team Titles on the line when those fancy-pants Fandango and EC3 take on Sami Callihan and Brodie Lee. For the match stipulation.....well.....tune into the main event to find out AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE 'CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentleman the following contest is a first blood match! There are no pinfalls, no submissions, no countouts and no dis qualificaitons. The only way to win this match is to make your opponent bleed.
ROYAL TRUMPETS SOUND
Lillian Garcia: Introducing first, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 230 pounds; he is the United States and TV Champion... King Booker!!!!
King Booker and Queen Sharmell make their way out of the back, through the curtain and onto the stage, where they aren’t greeted to a chorus of boos. King Booker proceeds to pose with his new US title triumphantly raised in the air as Sharmell regally waves to the crowd with the Television Title.
King Booker and Queen Sharmell walk down the entrance ramp with King Booker ensuring none of the filthy vermin touch his glorious robe.
They make their way up the steps and onto the apron where they pause and stare at the crew until one of them comes into the ring and sits on the rope so the King and Queen can gracefully enter the ring. King Booker stands in the middle of the ring while Queen Sharmell goes to the other side of the ring and awaits for Kevin Steen to come out.
Lillian Garcia: And introducing his opponent; weighing in at 260 pounds... KEVIN STEEN!!!
Kevin Steen made his way from the back. He stopped just underneath the titantron and took a close look at the crowd. He briefly scanned the fans, shook his head, as they gave him a mixed reaction and chuckled to himself.
He traditionally ignored the fans who attempted to high-five him or shake hands with him, he just walked straight to the ring, stopping near the steel steps so the ringside crew could hand him a microphone. He basically ignored Mark Henry's presence, he smirked and waited for a while in the ring so the music could fade to silence.
VS.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The crowd is excited to be seeing the first Smackdown Roulette matchup being under way as Kevin Steen is set to take on Booker T in a First Blood Match! King Booker is warming up at his corner as Steen gives off a prideful look to his opponent, then goes to take his shirt off but his shirt gets caught on his rolls of fat. Steen struggles to take off his shirt, being blinded by the shirt as King Booker seizes the opportunity and runs up to Steeen; kicking him square in the face with a jumping side kick! Kevin Steen falls to the ground as the referee pulls down his shirt, noticing that his nose is broken and blood is being drawn out. The referee anknowleges the rules and calls for the bell already!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Winner of this match: King Booker!
King Booker and Sharmell celebrate in the ring as a medic comes down to check up on Steen, attending to his broken nose. King Booker puts on his royal cape and scepter as they walk up the ramp, extremely pleased with the fast win over Kevin Steen.
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
AJ is seen backstage with his hardcore championship over his shoulder. AJ goes and he begins speak
AJ Styles: Once again still the hardcore champion AJ Styles. I'll tell you Kennedy we went in some massive war this past Saturday, but at the end of that day I rose up on top. And that trend will continue onwards onto the rumble. You see I have been undefeated since coming over here to Smackdown, and I have shown people that AJ Styles has what it takes to win, and that AJ Styles can shine when the lights are on bright. So for people who want to keep doubting me go on a head and do it, because at the end of the day AJ Styles will be the one to go on and win the Royal Rumble.
As AJ is done talking the fans boos as all of a sudden Dixie Carter shows up, and Dixie goes as she begins to speak
Dixie Carter: Way to go AJ... wooo you tell them champ, you're so strong, and so mighty.
AJ Styles: Dixie what in the hell do you want? Don't you have a nephew on this brand you should be supporting.
Dixie Carter: Oh I do AJ, and he is way and far more superior to you, but more or less AJ I am here to check up on you and show you my support for the man who made zero money for me in TNA. I mean AJ look you're proud about beating men like Mr. Kennedy, Chris Masters, Carlito, and I don't know who the hell the other people are, but you really think that is some sort of accomplishment. I mean AJ I look at the Royal Rumble match, and I see men like John Cena, I see men like Steve Bordens, I see men like Christian, I see men like Daniel Bryan, and so on, and so forth. I mean AJ the names I listed are far greater, and far superior then the men you have faced.
AJ goes as he smirks a bit, and he goes on as he speaks
AJ Styles: You're right Dixie those names are great, those names are bigger and grander then the names I have defeated in the past month. Thing is though Dixie it is not about name value here in the UWF. It is about if you're ready to compete, and how you compete. For me Dixie I have been ready to compete for months now. I have shown people in the past that I can compete, and I compete at nothing but at a high level. Instead of me slacking off I have been going around the world with Jay over here, and shown people I am hungry.
Dixie why don't you go on and keep doubting me because let me tell you Dixie I love it. I love when people look down on me because all that does for me is let me prove you wrong. You see Dixie you are going to twist these words, and say you came here to motivate me, but no you have come here to put me down. Maybe the old AJ Styles would have crumbled over those words, and not have responded to you, but this new AJ Styles is one that dosen't crumble over the pressure, instead he is more hungry to prove that he can get the job done. So Dixie why don't you go cheer on Ethan Carter, and see how his career turns out. Anyways Dixie I am out.
AJ leaves leaving Dixie with a dumbfounded look
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentleman the following is set for one fall and it is a Blindfold Match!
Lillian Garcia: Introducing first, from Silsbee, Texas, weighing in at 405 pounds; He is the World's Strongest Man... MARK HENRY!!!
Lilliann Garcia:And from Venice Beach, California; weighing in at 260 pounds; "The Icon".... STEVE BORDEN!!!
VS.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Mark Henry and Steve Borden are both done getting their black blindfolds on as the referee rings for the bell. Henry and Borden are both walking around the ring, outstretching their hands as they try to reach for their opponent. Borden makes it to the ropes while Henry is behind Borden but doesn't reach him, Bloom tells Borden to turn around and Borden does, getting a hold of Henry and tossing him to the corner. Henry is confused as to where he's at while Borden punches away at Henry, hitting him in multiple spots until Henry shoves Borden away. Henry takes a chance and runs towards the center, connecting Borden with a body avalanche which brings him down to the mat! Henry turns around and follows Borden's groans, grabbing a hold of his hand and clubs him on the back. Borden ties to move away after getting hit in what he thinks is multiple directions. The referee is distracted by Henry as Bloom grabs onto Borden's arm from ringside and pulls him to saftey. Bloom directs Borden to Henry as Henry is now confused on what happened. Borden walks up to Henry and can feel where he's at and kicks him in the head! Henry goes down and Borden feels where the big mass is laying down, then hits a knee drop to the skull of the World's Strongest Man!
Styles: Matt Bloom is making this match very unfair for Mark Henry! Can Henry overcome the odds here folks?
Tazz: It's possible Joey, Mark Henry is a tough man and will do anything to win the match!
Steve Borden can pinpoint where Mark Henry is and can feel the legs of the Big Man, then goes for the Borden Deathlock but Henry uses his leg strength to shove away Borden. Borden makes it to the ropes, already lost where Henry is at. Henry gets back up to his feet and starts to walk around the ring again, Borden trying to take off his mask to cheat but the referee tells him not to. Henry can hear the referee talking and walks up to the duo, manages to grab Borden and punches him in the gut. Henry tosses Borden to the corner and hits some knees to the gut, Borden trying to get away but Henry then hits a headbutt to Borden which puts him in a daze. Henry whips Borden to the opposite corner, then positions himselfs so he'll run straight and charges towards Borden, hitting a running body avalanche to Steve Borden! Borden falls to the ground and Henry yells out loud to the crowd! Borden crawls away and heads towards Bloom's calls and tells him about his plan. Bloom runs towards the opposite side of the ring and calls out Henry, Henry turning over to where Bloom is shouting at Henry. The referee tells Bloom to back away as Borden takes a peek at where Henry is at, then puts the blindfold back on and hits a running clothesline to the back of the head!
King: I love it! Matt Bloom and Steve Borden are working well together!
Styles: This is nothing but cheap play, come on Borden!
Mark Henry reaches for the ropes and tries to help himself up, but Borden finds where Henry is at and stomps him to the ground. Borden appears to be pleased with how things are turning out as he lifts up Henry and smashes his face onto the turnbuckle, then does it again to put him in a daze. Borden then hits some shoulder thrusts to the stomach of Henry, then clubs him down to his knees and starts to choke him onto the ropes. Borden yells out loud as the fans boo at Borden, Henry sounds like that he's struggling through the blindfold. The referee forces Borden off as Borden backs away, but not too far so he's not out of range to Henry. Henry sounds like that he's coughing up a storm but Borden runs back to him and knees him in the back of the head. Henry goes back down as Borden struggles to drag him to the center of the ring, but finally makes it and goes for the pin to the stunned Henry...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
But Mark Henry kicks out! Steve Borden slams his fist to the ground to show that he's frustrated, Matt Bloom yelling at the referee about the count. Borden gets to his feet and tries to find Henry but isn't able to since Henry rolled out of the way. Henry is back on his feet as both men are seaching around the ring. Henry points around the ring as the fans are reacting to his every movement, Henry finally pointing to Borden which causes the crowd to pop loudly. Borden looks to be confused but Henry knows excatly where he's going. He walks up to Borden and hits a big fist to the chest of Borden which knocks the wind out of him. Borden is holding onto his chest in complete pain, but Henry grabs him from behind and slams him to the ground. Borden tries to escape the clutch of Henry but Henry is clearly too heavy for Borden to move around. The fans start to mock Borden as Borden yells at them to shut up, then turns around and elbows Henry in the face. Henry shakes off the blow to the face but Borden manages to go behind Henry and takes him down with a Borden DeathDrop! The crowd boos as Steve Borden goes for the cover...
Tazz: That's all she wrote!
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
3
NO! MARK HENRY MANAGED TO KICK OUT! Steve Borden rolls away and is in a complete rage now, angry that Henry managed to kick out of the Scorpion DeathDrop. Henry is on his hands and knees know, trying to locate the ropes but Steve Borden is done playing games. He walks in one direction and makes it to the ropes and exits the ring. Matt Bloom runs up to Borden and they devise another plan to take down Mark Henry. Henry though can hear Matt Bloom and crawls towards the ropes and ends up reaching for Bloom, grabbing him by the shoulder! Henry goes to his feet and brings Borden onto the apron, then chucks him back inside the ring! Borden yells out loud while allows Henry to track him down and get a good grip on him, taking him down with a big body slam! Henry feels where Borden is and hits a HUGE jumping Splash onto the Icon, crushing him under his weight! Henry then signals for his finishing move as he lifts up Borden back to his feet, then executes the World's Strongest Slam onto Steve Borden! The ring nearly breaks down from the impact as Henry goes for the cover...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
3!!!!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Winner of this Blindfold Match: Mark Henry!!!
Mark Henry removes the blindfold mask as he sees how crushed Steve Borden looks to be. Matt Bloom can't believe that Steve Borden lost the match as Henry has his hands raised by the referee, the crowd is loving this moment. Henry walks away from the ring with a big smile on his face as the camera cuts to somewhere else.
------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
We're backstage where we see Mr. Kennedy
Mr. Kennedy: Pause.
Styles gets to his feet, taunting Ken who's on his knees and left elbow, holding his chest with his right hand and coughing. He coughs a bit of blood as Styles laughs. Kennedy sees this and becomes enraged as he leaps to his feet and charges Styles, who is in the worst location possible, in front of the door. But Styles reacts quickly and as Kennedy goes for a spear, AJ leaps into the air with a split-legged leap, and Kennedy goes crashing through the door as it flies off the hinges, the chain and lock break, as Ken hits the ringside barricade and Kevin Steen is knocked down by the bottom part of the door hitting him in the face and chest!
Kennedy sits up woozily as he turns and grabs the top of the barricade with both hands, pulling with all the strength he can muster in that moment to return to his feet. Kennedy then heads over to the cage, grabbing the nearest wall and beginning to ascend it.
Tazz: What's he doin'?
Mr. Kennedy: Now you tell me what on Earth was that? I was out of the steel cage first, my feet touched the ground. You can clearly see me getting up on the barricades. I climbed that wall because I thought I had the match won, I was going to celebrate my victory... but then AJ Styles hits me with his Styles Clash from the very top of the cage knocking me out. This isn't how the situation should have ended, this is a complete travesty. AJ Styles is not the rightful champion and mind you, even though I've lost my rematch clause... I either make a decision for myself. Do I continue fighting for what I think is right or should I just roll this off my back and look for a better opportunity. Nope. Not happening. That Hardcore Championship defined exactly who I am, I aligned with Kevin Steen and Johnny Gargano for a reason. I don't necessarily have to explain myself whatsoever, look... I've got a match later on where I team up with Johnny Gargano so I'm not in the mood to speak... but what I do to these freaks tonight...
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented Hell - Bertrand Russel.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentleman the following tag team contest is a Flag Match! The only way to win this match is to remove your own flag from the pole hanging above!
"KENNEDY!"
"Turn Up The Trouble" by Airbourne begins to play as the crowd erupts into boos. It isn't long before Mr. Kennedy and Johnny Gargano, visibly appearing to feed off of their energy, makes his way through the curtain, stopping in the middle of the ramp as he motions for his trademark microphone as it's lowered to him and he grabs it in his hand as his music fades out to silence.
Mr. Kennedy: Pause.
It's not long until Mr. Kennedy is rudely interrupted from...
"The following message is brought to you by The C.U.N.T."
Everything becomes tinted in a blue hue as 'Stranglehold' by ultra-'Merican Ted Nugent begins to play over the PA system and the crowd begin to go wild. It's not long before all three members of C.U.N.T. appear before the crowd, Shark Boy leading the way. Grado is doing some great air-guitaring on the stage, Paul Burchill is seen swinging down from the side of the stage onto the ramp to join his partners in crime. All three men now make their ways down to the ring, Paul Burchill raises his sword into the air and points towards the ring as the three men now enter the ring. Shark Boy heads straight to the top rope where he throws his middle fingers high in the air for the world to see. Burchill is on the adjacent corner looking out into the crowd as Grado leans on the ropes between them making the crowd react with glee. They do this to the opposite side of the ring, giving the entire crowd a glimpse at their new heroes. All three men then take their places in the centre of the ring as C.U.N.T. is prepared for this matchup to take place.
&
VS.
&
Ding! Ding! Ding!
C.U.N.T. has their official flag being flown at their corner while Mr. Kennedy and Johnny Gargano both have the American Flag raised on their corner. Both teams are having a staredown with each other, but Kennedy and Gargano try to pull a quick one and climbs the turnbuckles to their flag but Kennedy and Gargano are both pulled down and thrown to different turnbuckles. Gargano and Kennedy are both being struck from Shark Boy and Paul Burchill respectfully, then they get hit with the ten punches as the crowd chants with them. They make it to 10, then look at each other before proceed to bite the faces of their opponents! Shark Boy and Burchill both go down to the mat as Kennedy and Gargano falls to the mat. The referee tells one of them to go back to their corner as this match is described to be under normal tag team rules by the official. Shark Boy decides to stay with Mr. Kennedy as Shark Boy stomps onto the former Hardcore Champion. Mr. Kennedy makes it to the ropes as Shark Boy hits some punches to the head, then a kick to the midsection. Gargano and Paul Burchill are both standing at corners that don't have a flag as Shark Boy tries to reach for the C.U.N.T. flag but Kennedy pulls Shark Boy back down. Kennedy smiles to Shark Boy but Shark Boy takes down Kennedy with a dropkick!
Tazz: Hahah! That'll keep Mr. Kennedy from showing off like that!
Shark Boy gets back to his feet as the crowd cheers for him, Shark Boy doing his fin pose as Kennedy makes it to his corner and tags in Johnny Gargano. The ever so young Gargano enters the ring and points to Shark Boy that he wants no funny business with him. Shark Boy seems to be laughing as Gargano looks up to the American Flag and walks towards it but Shark Boy shoves him away and say's that he's going to open up a can of whoop-ass. Gargano is smirking over that threat but Shark Boy hits a kick to the midsection then chucks him to the ropes, and then takes down Gargano with a dropkick! Gargano is back up as Shark Boy whips him to the ropes, then takes him down with a back body drop! Gargano is up again but Shark Boy ends up clotheslining him out of the ring! Mr. Kennedy goes to check up on his buddy but Shark Boy teases for a suicide which causes Team Kennedy to flinch, however Paul Burchill ends up springboarding from the ropes and takes down both men with a springboard moonsault by surprise, which causes the fans to cheer very loudly!
Styles: That teamwork by C.U.N.T! How impressive is that?
King: Aw come on Joey, just wait unil Gargano and Kennedy are in the ring together!
Paul Burchill throws the legal man, Johnny Gargano, back in the ring as Shark Boy has some more plans for the man. He brings Gargano to the corner then goes for a charge but falls to the extended foot of Gargano. Shark Boy backs up as Gargano hops onto the middle rope and dives towards Shark Boy but Shark Boy hits a kneelift to the gut then takes down Gargano with a hangman's neckbreaker! Gargano is down from the impact as he gets dragged to C.U.N.T's corner and Paul Burchill is tagged in! Burchill enters the ring and hits some stomps onto Gargano, Gargano then gets thrown to the ropes as Shark Boy and Burchill takes down Gargano onto the ropes with a flapjack! Gargano is walking around the ring as Gargano walks right into Burchill who hits an overhead belly to belly suplex onto Gargano! The crowd is pleased to be seeing Paul Burchill back in action as Burchill lifts up Gargano to his feet and throws him to the corner where the C.U.N.T flag is. Burchill hits a headbutt to Gargano and starts to climb the turnbuckles to grab the flag but Gargano knocks him off balance, Burchill ending up falling to ringside. The referee is talking to Gargano as Kennedy comes running around and hits a running knee to the face, then slams him onto the barricade. Kennedy then throws Gargano back in the ring and runs away before being caught.
Jerry Lawler: See, teamwork right there!
Styles: Oh come on you're full of yourself, King!
Paul Burchill is trying to recover but Johnny Gargano is already taking advantage of the downed Burchill by hammering away at the face of Burchill, then hitting a cheap kick to the back of the head. Burchill has a pained expression on his face but Gargano pulls him away from the ropes and hits a knee to the leg of Burchill. Burchill yells out loud as Gargano hits another kneedrop to the leg of Burchill then brings him back up. Gargano places Burchill onto his one shoulder and runs with him to the corner, executing the snake eyes onto the middle turnbuckle pad! Burchill shakes off the blow to the face but Gargano takes Burchill to his corner and slams him hard there and tags in Mr. Kennedy into the match! Kennedy enters the ring with such passion who hits some elbows and forearm smashes to the face of Burchill, then drags him away from the corner but instantly takes him down with a brutal clothesline! Burchill is feeling the whiplash coming to him but Kennedy takes him up to his feet and knees a knee to the jaw, then an uppercut to take down Burchill. Kennedy gives Shark Boy the finger which riles him up, then hits brings up Burchill once more and takes him down with a Brainbuster!
King: Nice move from Mr. Kennedy! That'll scramble up Paul Burchill's brains even more than it already is! Aha!
Mr. Kennedy gets to his feet with the most intense look ever. Shark Boy is looking very agitated as Kennedy moves away and goes towards his flag and starts to climb the ropes, Paul Burchill though crawling towards Kennedy and reaches up to catch his foot. Kennedy kicks the foot away and tries to climb back up but Burchill musters up enough strength to pull Kennedy back down. He may have saved the match but he didn't save himself as Kennedy isn't too happy with Burchill. He throws him to the turnbuckle and hits some stiff punches to the gut, then whips him hard to the opposite corner. Kennedy runs up and hits a running clothesline to Burchill, then brings him away from the turnbuckles and hits a snap DDT onto Burchill! Shark Boy is trying to get Burchill to tag but Kennedy runs up to him and knocks him off the apron. Grado curses towards Kennedy while checking up on Shark Boy as Kennedy runs up to Burchill now and hits a running kick to the face of Burchill! Burchill is left nearly unconcious as Kennedy brings up Burchill, mocks him and then hits the Mic Check onto Burchill!
Tazz: Geez Mr. Kennedy is really making him walk the plank, isn't he?
The crowd boos at Mr. Kennedy as Paul Burchill isn't moving at all in the ring. Kennedy knows that he can win the match right now but wants to savour the moment as he drags Burchill by the leg and tags in Johnny Gargano into the match! Gargano hops onto the middle turnbuckle and hits a big stomp onto the back of Burchill, then hits an elbow drop to the spine. Kennedy tells Gargano to make him hurt real bad, Gargano nods to Kennedy and drags him away from his corner while yelling out to him. Gargano shows his disrespect by slapping Burchill across the face, then does it again while looking at Shark Boy. Shark Boy is looking anxious to get back in the ring but Gargano isn't going to allow that. He brings Gargano back up to his feet and takes him down with a double knee backbreaker which causes some of the fans to cringe. Burchill is looking in serious trouble right now as Gargano tries to set up for the Garga-No Lock but Paul Burchill manages to grab onto the ropes after a struggle to pevent the submission hold being locked on. The fans are happy to see some fight in Paul Burchill as Gargano lifts him up and decides to go for the Hurts Donut right there but Burchill counters to his finisher, Walk the Plank!
Styles: WOW! That came out of nowhere!
Tazz: This is a whole new match, I can see it!
Both Johnny Gargano and Paul Burchill are down from exhaustion as the fans are cheering loudly for the hot tag to happen! Gargano and Burchill are slowly crawling towards their team members, the fans are chanting for Shark Boy already. They finally make it to the corner as the tags are made and Shark Boy EXPLODES into the ring, taking down the oncoming Kennedy with a clothesline! Gargano is up but Shark Boy hits some kicks which causes him to fall out of the ring. Kennedy is back up but Shark Boy hits a back elbow to stun Kennedy, Burchill is back up and they go for a double front suplex, springboarding off the ropes and suplexing Kennedy onto the canvas! Burchill is ushered out of the ring as Shark Boy lifts up Kennedy and hits some chops which brings Kennedy to the corner, then goes for the 10 punches again but Kennedy shoves Shark Boy off. Kennedy goes for a clothesline but misses it, Shark Boy then goes for the neckbreaker but Kennedy counters it to the swinging neckbreaker! Kennedy shoots to his feet and yells out in a fit of rage that he's going to end the career of Shark Boy right now, he lifts up Shark Boy and goes for the Mic Check but Shark Boy shoves him to the ropes, then as he returns he knees him in the gut and brings him to the turnbuckles, hops onto the top turnbuckle and hits the Deep Sea Drop onto Mr. Kennedy!
King: Oh come on Mr. Kennedy, don't lose to this walking fish boy here!
Styles: It's too late King, he's got this!
The fans are loving the position that Shark Boy is in. Shark Boy points to his flag which causes the crowd to go into a loud uproar. Shark Boy makes it to the top rope and is about to reach for the flag but Johnny Gargano hops onto the apron and shakes the top rope, causing Shark Boy to lose his balance and crash onto the canvas! Shark Boy is pissed about that and punches Gargano off the apron, then proceeds to climb the ropes again but Kennedy catches him off guard mid-climb, then starts to climb the ropes himself as he sets up Shark Boy in the fireman's carry while on the top rope. Mr. Kennedy yells out loud as he plans on going for the Green Bay Plunge but Shark Boy grabs onto the flag pole behind him and uses his body strength to knock off Kennedy off the ropes, then reaches up and manages to pull off the C.U.N.T. flag off the pole to win the match!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Winner of this match: Representing C.U.N.T.: Shark Boy and Paul Burchill!!
C.U.N.T. is celebrating their win with the flag being flown by Shark Boy who retrieved it in the match. Gargano and Kennedy are both shocked and saddened that they lose the match, and begin to walk away from the ring in a fit of anger. The camera cuts away as it shows C.U.N.T. in the ring while interacting with the fans.
----------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------
We head backstage to see Ethan Carter the Third talking on his cell phone will Fandango in the background, oiling up.
Ethan: No Aunt Dixie, tell Dicaprio that I can't go yachting because I have an important match coming up okay?......Okay bye.
Fandango: What was that all about?
Ethan: You know Leo, always clinging onto me. It's like hello I got a big match to concentrate on!
Fandango: This match isn't a big deal. It'll be over in like 5 seconds.
Ethan: Not this tag match. Of course we're going to win that. I'm worried about the rich to richer match. They didn't put us in the rumble because everyone was jealous of us. Instead, we're in a match where basically the same thing could happen. They could just hold us down while they let the others grab the briefcases.
Fandango: Trust me, they put one hand on my body, they go weak in the knees. They can't stop us. It's just a bunch of sidekicks to others in this match. We've already proven we can beat the so called favorites of this match like Umaga. With any luck he'll grab one of the cases and be sent to RAW where I don't ever have to see his ugly face again. The point is, we get in there, we get our briefcases, we get out. Now I've got it on good authority which briefcase holds what we want. I'll tell you which one it is as soon as this camera guy gets out of our face.
Ethan: Yeah what do you want?
Camera Man: Uhh we wanted to see if you were talking about your upcoming match against the T.I.O.C.
Fandango: Who?
Ethan: Oh he means those hillbillies.
Fandango: Ugh. I've had enough of them already. I have half a mind to just give them our belts to shut them up and let them fight those clones of theirs on RAW. We're going to headline WrestleMania anyways. But then again what better a story than to have THE Tag Team Champions fighting one another. It'll be the greatest thing in WrestleMania history!
Ethan: Just hearing you talk about it gives me the chills. Does that answer your question Mr. Camera Man?
Camera Man: Not really.
Ethan looks mad and attacks the camera man as the feed turns to static and we head elsewhere.
We are then taken to ringside, back over to the commentary table.
Styles: This Sunday at the Royal Rumble, MVP finally gets his one-on-one rematch for the UWF Championship but he has quite the task ahead of him.
Tazz: No doubt about it, MVP has gotta climb "Mount Morgan" so to speak.
The King: Under the quidance of that evil genius Paul Heyman, Matt Morgan has taken UWF by storm and claimed it for his own. At the Royal Rumble, can MVP take back the UWF Championship or will Matt Morgan make him just, as you would say Tazz, just another victim?
TALE OF THE TAPE
- UWF Champion
- Member of G.E.N.E. (alongside Alex Riley)
- Alias' "Mount Morgan", "The Blueprint", "Mr. UWF"
- Has a pinfall victory over MVP
- UWF Champion
- Former UCW and CWA Superstar
- Alias' "Half Man, Half Amazing", "The Ballin' Superstar", "Miami's Finest"
- Defeated Edge for the UWF Championship
After the Tale of the Tape is done, we are directed to the ring, which is already set up for the wedding of Chris Masters and Layla.
The minister is already out in the ring, waiting on the couple.
Styles: I believe this is a first on SmackDown.
Tazz: Look at da' flowers, Joe!
The King: I think Tazz is getting a little soft, here!
Tazz: Shut up, King. I am not.
Styles: Are those tears?
The theme music of "The Masterpiece" begins to play over the PA system and the crowd lets out a mixed reaction. Masters walks out in a manner we have not seen him do. He is dressed in a suit and looks visibly nervous.
Styles: Here comes the groom, Chris Masters.
The King: SmackDown Roulette and a wedding. What have our jobs come to?
Tazz: Shut it, King. This is a beautiful ceremony.
Masters walks up the steel steps and enters the ring. He shakes the hand of the minister and awaits the arrival of his bride.
"Here Comes The Bride" begins to play over the PA system and Masters' eyes grow wide and a huge smile comes across his face. Layla then walks out from the back in a beautiful white wedding dress.
Tazz: Wow! Simply gorgeous!
Styles: I have never seen this side of you before, Tazz.
The King: You're getting a little too emotionally invested in this.
Layla approaches the ring and ringside employees help her walk up the steel steps and enter the ring. Layla and Chris both look to be on the verge of tears as they take their places alongside the minister. The minister then begins the ceremony as the fans begin to warm up to the couple.
Minister: Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to join these two individuals, Chris Masters and Layla El, together in holy matrimony. Before we move on, I understand the couple have both written their own vows. Chris, you first.
Masters then pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket and begins to recite it into a microphone.
Chris Masters: Layla, for a long time, the only love in my life was the weight room, building myself up, bulking up and working on myself because I was the only person who mattered. Wrestling came next and it gave me an outlet to find that missing piece of myself that I always knew was missing. That's until I met the real love of my life, the woman who stands in front of me today. I used to think heavier weights and championships would make me a better man but now I know that you make me a better man and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Tears start rolling down Layla's face as Masters puts away his vows.
Minister: Layla, your turn.
Layla wipes away her tears and takes out her own piece of paper to recite her vows.
Layla: Chris, from the moment I saw you, you took my breath away. Your physique is impeccable but what really blew me away was how genuine your soul was. Deep down beneath your muscles, there's a sweet and sensitive man who swept me off my feet. Chris, I never want my feet to ever touch the ground again and I want to be known for the rest of my life as Mrs. Masterpiece and together, we'll conquer the world.
Now the tears begin to fall down Masters' face as Layla finishes her vows. The minister then continues the ceremony.
Minister: Now then, if there is anyone that feels that these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
Layla and Chris continue to stare into each other's eyes and holding hands as the crowd starts warming up to them. After a few moments, however.....
Styles: What the hell?
Tazz: How dare Punk ruin this magical moment?
The King: Again, way too invested in this, Tazz.
Masters and Layla both glare at the top of the ramp as "Cult of Personality" plays over the loudspeakers. After a few bars of music, CM Punk and his new associate AJ Lee emerge from the back to a very mixed reaction.
Styles: Look at their smug faces interrupting Chris Masters and Layla's big moment.
Tazz: Why are they even out here?
The King: Well, why don't we just let them explain.
As Punk and AJ reach the ring, they both mock Masters and Layla by Punk getting on one knee and opening an imaginary ring box. AJ fake cries and screams yes and hops up and down. Punk stands up and the two kiss.
Masters and Layla are in the ring, furious that they were interrupted by the pair. Punk and AJ enter the ring and are given microphones. As the crowd's mixed reaction turns to mostly boo's, Punk begins to speak.
CM Punk: Look, Chris, I can see that you're angry but, hear me out. You see, we're not here to ruin your "big day" or whatever, we're just here to give our well wishes to the happy couple!
Punk and AJ both look at Masters and Layla and start applauding them. Layla and Chris don't seem to satisfied with that answer.
CM Punk: Last week, I was saved by this woman here, AJ Lee. She saved my career from being ruined by mediocrity and she made me see what the real importance was around here. It isn't tag teaming with Colt Cabana and it damn sure isn't having a self-indulgent wedding ceremony. This is a WRESTLING show. W-R-E-S-T-L-I-N-G. Do you understand, Chris? This is an embarrassment and, quite frankly, the both of you are embarrassments.
The crowd starts heavily boo-ing Punk and AJ as they run down the married couple.
AJ Lee: Honey, sweetie, have I made you angry, too? Here you are, decked out in a big white dress which, God knows, you shouldn't be wearing, and I'm standing here next to the Best in the World. Your guy? "The Masterpiece" ? No, not even close. This man right here is a true Masterpiece.
Punk cuts AJ off
CM Punk: AJ, like I said, we're not out here to ruin their moment or hog their spotlight. So, come on, I think we've proved our point.
As Punk and AJ turn to walk away, Masters briefly looks at Layla. This gives Punk an opening and he clocks Masters in the skull with the microphone. Masters goes down and Punk is all over him, hitting him repeatedly in the head with the microphone. As Layla tries to get Punk off of him, AJ grabs Layla by the hair and tosses her down to the mat. AJ and Layla then start going at it as well.
Styles: CATFIGHT!!
Punk gets to his feet and starts stomping away at Masters. He then starts destroying the wedding set, piece by piece. AJ has Layla locked in the Anaconda Vice as she's tapping out. Punk looks at the helpless Minister and smiles.
Tazz: What's Punk thinking?
The King: I don't know but it can't be good!
Punk grabs the Minister and places him on his shoulders. As Punk stares at an unconscious Masters, he hits the Minister with the GTS! AJ lets Layla go as Layla is laid out in her wedding dress. Punk and AJ then exit the ring as the crowd showers them in boos.
Styles: CM Punk and AJ Lee single-handedly tarnished Chris Masters and Layla's wedding.
Tazz: Such a beautiful cerimony ruined!
The King: Personally, I loved it!
We are then taken to commercial as Masters, Layla and the Minister are being looked at by ringside officials.
-------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
We come back from commercial to see the "Bizzare One" Goldust crouched down and looking straight at the camera. He is surrounded by two pictures as he starts speaking.
Goldust: "Two roads, diverged in a yellow wood........and sorry I could not travel both.......and be one traveler" Once upon a time, I was known only as Dustin Rhodes.......given the alias "The Natural" due to my talent inside of a ring......but, as fate would have it, something happened. "Long I stood......and looked down one as far as I could.......To where it bent in the undergrowth." I evolved from a "Natural" to something much more.......I wasn't satisfied being a mortal man like my father......"Then took the other, as just as fair.......and having perhaps the better claim......because it was grassy and wanted wear......"
Goldust looks down at his feet as he continues speaking.
Goldust: I knew......I knew that my father's shadow would be too much to overcome......."Though as for that the passing there......Had worn them really about the same." I wasn't satisfied with being handed a torch......a torch long since extinguished......So I ignited my own......"And both that morning equally lay......In leaves no step had trodden black........Oh, I kept the first for another day."
Goldust then looks up at the camera once more.
Goldust: And after I did so......my dear baby brother, Cody, decided to do the same......And he took this place by storm. Raking up championships and carving out his own legacy........."Yet knowing how way leads on to way........I doubted if I should ever come back."
Goldust then knocks over the picture on the left and grips the picture of Goldust close as he continues speaking.
Goldust: It's funny.....Like an Abbot & Costello sketch.......it's funny how destiny works. You see, this place was beckoning for my arrival, my triumphant return. My.....baby brother......was aching for my return......"I shall be telling this with a sigh.......Somewhere ages and ages hence." The Royal Rumble is where it all comes to a head.......we have made our own paths here......we have both distanced ourselves from father.......and we both meet face to face........"Two roads diverged in a wood and I........I took the one less traveled by.......And that has made all the difference...." Two roads. Two Rhodes........
The camera fades on Goldust's snarling face.
Vs.
DING!
DING!
DING!
The bell sounds and this one is underway. Angle and Joe both circle the ring a few times before locking horns in the middle. Angle very quickly gets the upper hand and hits Joe with a headlock takedown. Angle wrenches in the hold before quickly going for the pin.
1..
KICK-OUT!!
Both men get back up but, this time, Joe hits Angle with a headlock takedown of his own. Angle tries to escape by wrapping his legs around Joe's head. Joe then jumps up and both men are back on their feet, starring at one another as the audience cheers.
Styles: Both men are technically sound.
Tazz: Students of tha' game, Joe!
The King: I can't wait to see what happens here!
Angle and Joe again circle the ring before locking horns. This time, Angle sends Joe into the ropes. Joe hits Angle with a shoulder block, sending Angle to the mat. Joe comes off the ropes and this time Angle flatens himself on the mat. As Joe comes back, Angle pops up and jumps over Joe. As Joe comes back again, Angle hits him with a hip toss. Angle then quickly slaps on a leglock, trying to get Joe to tap out.
Styles: Angle not pulling any punches here!
Angle wrenches in the hold but, after a bit of struggling, Joe reaches the ropes and the referee forces Angle to break the hold. Angle gets to his feet and starts stomping Joe out. He then picks Joe back up and irish whips him into the corner. As Angle charges at him, Joe gets his feet up and blasts Angle in the face. As Angle turns around, Joe lays him out with a big clothesline, nearly taking Kurt's head off. Joe then pins Angle.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Tazz: Stay on 'em, Joe!
Joe lifts Angle's head up and starts hammering away at him with right hands. Joe then stands up and begins stomping at Angle. Joe then pulls Angle up and slaps him in a sleeper hold.
The King: Joe has been taking your advice so far, Tazz.
Joe applies pressure to the hold and Angle starts fading. The referee then checks his arm.
1 fall....
2 fall....
As Angle's arm is about to fall for a third time, Angle springs back to life and starts clawing at Joe's eyes. Joe eventually lets go of the hold and grabs at his eyes. Angle gets to his feet and immediately grabs Joe and hits him with an Angle Slam!
Styles: Angle Slam!
Tazz: Outta nowhere!
The King: Joe didn't see it coming....literally.....HA!
Angle then pins Joe.
1..
2..
3!!
ANGLE - 1 JOE - 0
As the referee counts to 3, Joe kicks out, not realizing what happened. Angle smiles as Joe looks pissed. Joe gets back to his feet and goes after Angle, who slides out of the ring. The crowd boos as Angle tries to stay out of Joe's reach. As Joe rounds the corner of the ring, Angle slides in. As Joe goes in after him, Angle goes for a clothesline. Joe ducks and rebounds off the ropes. As Angle turns around, Joe hits him with a big crossbody. Joe then hooks the leg.
1..
2..
3!!
ANGLE - 1 JOE - 1
Styles: We're all tied up here, with 15 minutes to go!
Tazz: Man, what a crossbody!
The King: I've never seen a bigger one, pun intended!
Angle kicks out just as the referee counts to 3 and Joe gets to his feet and he smiles at Angle. Angle is on his knees holding his own head with a stunned look on his face. Joe wastes no time going back onto the attack but, as he approaches, Angle traps him in an inside cradle pin.
1..
2..
3!!
ANGLE - 2 JOE - 1
Joe escpaes after the pinfall and Angle gets to his feet and points to his head. Joe gets back up and he charges Angle into the corner and begins hammering away at him violently. Angle is trying to block as best he can but Joe is too much and eventually Angle crumbles into the corner. Joe then backs up before charging at Angle again, hitting him with a boot to the face. Joe then drags Angle out towards the middle of the ring and pins him.
1..
2..
KICK-OUT!!
Styles: Angle just barely getting the shoulder up!
Joe goes to lift Angle back up but Angle counts and trips Joe to the mat and quickly slaps in the Ankle Lock!
Tazz: Oh no, dis don't look good for Joe!
Angle has it locked in tight as Joe writhes in pain. After what seems like an eternity, Joe uses his weight to shove Angle forward. Angle loses grip on Joe and hits head-first into the turnbuckle. Joe gets back to his feet and, as Angle stumbles back, Joe traps Angle in a rear-naked chokehold.
Styles: He's got it locked in!
Tazz: Hey, dat move looks familiar!
The King: Is Angle going to tap?
Angle has nowhere to go and so he quickly taps out.
ANGLE - 2 JOE - 2
Joe releases Angle from the hold as the clock reaches 5 minutes left. Joe goes to lift Angle back up but Angle attempts to trap Joe into another inside cradle pin. Before he can, Joe rolls out and instead locks in a leglock of his own. Angle is trying to escape and eventually grabs onto the ropes. The referee breaks up the hold and Joe gets up to his feet. He lifts Angle up but Angle hits him with a big uppercut. Angle then tosses Joe into the corner and goes after him. He then grabs Joe and scales the top turnbuckle. Angle tries to set up for a tornado DDT but, before he can hit it, Joe counters and ends up trapping Angle in the Muscle Buster!
Styles: Joe has got Angle up!
Joe then crashes down to the mat and connects with the Muscle Buster. Joe then covers Angle.
1..
2..
3!!
ANGLE - 2 JOE - 3
The clock has reached the 1 minute mark. Joe and Angle are both down on the mat. Joe then starts to get up but, as he does, Angle grabs his ankle and again locks him in the Ankle Lock. As Angle wrenches in the hold, the clock ticks down to 30 seconds. Angle tries to wrench it in but Joe counters once again, this time sending Angle through the middle ropes to the outside. As Angle gets back up to his feet, all he has left to do is watch the clock tick down 5.....4.....3.....2....1.
YOUR WINNER, SAMOA JOE!!
Angle is livid as Joe has his hand raised in victory. Angle then storms to the back as Joe celebrates with the fans.
----------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
The camera pans back to the arena as the lights come on, the crowd suddenly in awe as the gaze upon the setup that's there before them. Standing behind each of the ring posts are 4 pillars of metal bars that rise 20 feet in the sky, each pillar has a ladder that allows one to climb up the pillar. What the pillars are supporting is the scaffold that contains two giant hardwood boards that cross each other shaped in an X, much like how TNA's Elevation-X looked. Both hardwood boards are fairly wide and can easily support two men walking side by side along it, even for a larger man like Brodie Lee. It is not clear what's on the scaffold but one can assume that there are weapons for one's disposal. Under the scaffold has a suspicious motion censor device strapped to the back that one can assume is the cause for the explosions that will happen in the match.
The scaffold isn't the only thing impressive thing however. Instead of the usual ropes, the ring is surrounded by a bunch of barbed wire, barbed wire forming up a very sturdy wall as well as layers of it sticking out. Sitting at each corner is a different station where one can inflict tons of punishment to their opponent. One corner has a huge stack of flourescent tubes, one has a bunch of tazers strapped to the barbed wire, one has a toolbox sitting at the corner that is full of hand tools and power tools, and the final corner has a fish tank on the ground that has live pirrahnas swimming in it.
The fun doesn't stop there as outside the ring there are weapons galore that are scattered across the ring. The side where the entrance is has a table set up with two chairs on it, with ladders set up on both side. Going clockwise, the next side has two tables on it that's filled with a bunch of weapons that the fans brought before hand, including a weekwacker, garbage cans, and even a 6 foot trout! The side where the announcer's table is at is completely covered with thumbtacks, and the last side has two tables that's filled with weapons that is supplied by Stone Cold Steve Austin, DDP and Jake 'The Snake' Roberts, including DDP's Yoga gear and a The Snake's bag that one can assume contains Damien inside of it.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and genteman, the following tag team contest is a '10,000 Thumbtacks, 4 Corners of Fun, Barbed Wire Massacre, Tables, Ladders and Chairs, Fans Bring The Weapons, GM Brings The Weapons, Motion-Sensored Exploding, Whatever The Fuck is Left, Scaffold Texas Deathmatch! And it is for the World Tag Team Championship!
The fans pop that this matchup is actually happening live, ready to see some insane carnage in the ring.
Garcia:Here are the rules for this matchup:
-There are no disqualifications and no countouts!
-To be able to win the match, you must throw both members off the opposing team off the scaffold by force.
-Only then will your team be able to secure either a pinfall or submission to gain the victory and become the World Tag Team Champions!
I have never felt as empty as I feel today ...
Lillian Garcia: Introducing first, they are the challengers, weighing in a combined weight of 260 pounds; Sami Callihan and Brodie Lee... T.I.O.C!!
“Flowermouth (The Leech)” hits the PA, finally offering some the masses of UWF fans in attendance and at home a saving grace from the monotony that is the ramblings of the tag team champions. The T.I.O.C. Walk out on to the stage and down the ramp to the ring. The fans cheer their hardcore heroes – their champion hopefulls, as they grab a set of mics from a monkey at ringside and join the other tandem in the ring. Sami Callihan raises his mic to his mouth, but pauses for a moment before pointing towards his opponents.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
E
C
3
Lillian Gacia: And introducing the tag team champions; weighing in a combined weight of 264 pounds; Ethan Carter and Fandango.... M.D.D.D.!!!
A spotlight shines brightly on the top of the stage where Ethan Carter the Third, EC3 as well as Fandango, both have their backs turned to the crowd and simultaneously turn their heads and smirk. The current World Tag Team Champions walk down the ramp with a stride in their steps and their belts firmly around their waist until...
&
VS.
&
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Fandango and Ethan Carter III haven't even made it to the ring yet as Sami Callihan and Brodie Lee both ambush the Tag Team Champions on the entrance ramp! Callihan carries Fandango around the ring while Lee and Carter are fighting where the tables and ladders are set up. Callihan brings Fandango by the Fans' Weapons table and rams him onto one of the scaffold pillars, Fandango shaken up from the blow but Callihan delivers another face smash to the pillar. Lee uses his size to toss Carter onto a different scaffold pillar easily, Carter not really moving much but Lee grabs him by the scuff of the neck and tosses him onto a ladder that's standing nearby, both Carter and the ladder falling forewards! Callihan is hammering away at Fandango across the ringside, Fandango though knees Callihan in the gut and starts to climb up the scaffold pillar to escape Callihan. Callihan hops onto the pillar and grabs onto the leg of Fandango, then grips the waistline of his flashy pants. Fandango is struggling to break free from Callihan's grasp but Callihan pulls Fandango off the pillar and Fandango falls onto the ground that's full of thumbtacks!
Tazz: Already Fandango has been thrown onto the thumbtacks! Well this bout ain't gonna be pretty!
King: Oh come on Sami, Fandango was trying to finish this match early!
Styles: Fandango and Ethan Carter were asking for this from the start King!
Fandango is crying out in pain after falling back-first onto the thumbtacks laying across the floor while Callihan lands on his feet and moves Fandango away from the thumbtack area. Meanwhile Brodie Lee slams Ethan Carter's face onto the scaffold pillar once more, then grabs the chair that's resting on the table and goes to smash Carter's face onto the pillar with the chair but Carter kicks Lee in the midsection then smashes the chair onto the back of Lee! Lee falls on his knees while Callihan rams Fandango to the barricade and hammers away at him. Fandango is in a daze while the fans are cheering loudly for Callihan as he approaches the tables where the fans' weapons are at and grabs a stapler, and the recepit for said stapler from Home Hardware! Ethan Carter goes for another chair shot but Lee ducks it and hits an uppercut to Ethan Carter, then lifts him up in the gutwretch powerbomb and slams Carter onto the table that was set up! Carter is down while Callihan places the recepit on the face of Fandango, then presses the stapler on the recepit and staples the recepit onto Fandango's head! Fandango yelps out loud while trying to pull of the piece of paper; Callihan asks if he needs any help and yanks the recepit for the stapler off of Fandango's head!
Tazz: Oh man Fandango is going to need some staples to heal up that wound!
King: I see what you did there Tazz. Aha!
Fandango runs away from Sami Callihan while crying out loud from the abuse that he received from Callihan, dodging Brodie Lee he picks up Ethan Carter and they both start to walk up the entrance ramp. Lee and Callihan aren't even close to being done as the run up towards the Tag Team Champions and attack them from behind. Lee walks with Carter towards the ring and slides him under the barbed wire wall, Callihan however chucks Fandango onto the barbed wire wall instead. Lee and Callihan enters the ring as Carter tries to esacpe but Lee grabs him by the leg and the TIOC brings Carter to his feet, backs him up and slingshots him to the barbed wire wall back-first! Carter is in pain now as he's stuck on the barbed wire, although Lee pulls him away and chucks Ethan Carter onto the barbed wire wall again, this time stomach-first! Callihan is holding Ethan Carter in place (not that he has to try hard) while Lee grabs a flouresent light tube from the stack at the corner and smashes it on the back of Ethan Carter! Ethan Carter goes down, half his upper body is now full of small cuts!
Styles: Ethan Carter is already feeling the effects of this matchup! We knew it was going to get ugly!
Fandango slides into the ring with the steel chair and manages to hit Sami Callihan in the face with it! Callihan goes down but Brodie Lee is quick on the offense and takes down Fandango with a clothesline. Lee grabs the face of Fandango with his huge hands and tries to slam it onto the barbed wire but Fandango does the drop toe hold and sends Lee slamming his own face onto the barbed wire instead! Lee's hair is caught in the wire while Fandango stomps on the back of the head a couple of times, then starts to scrap Lee's face on the barbed wire. Fandango pulls Lee's hair away from the wire and tosses him under it to ringside, Callihan though is back up and attacks Fandango from behind. Callihan walks with Fandango to where the fish tank full of Pirrahnas are at and tries to force his face in the tank but Fandango fights it until Ethan Carter makes the save! Carter drags Callihan to the center of the ring and the Tag Team Champs both lift up Callihan and takes him down with a double suplex! Red spots are all over Carter while Fandango has that stapler wound on the side of his head but both men are smiling in the ring, knowing that the T.I.O.C. has nothing on them!
King: There's the confidence that the tag team champions are known for! I think they have this in the bag folks!
Styles: Don't count out the T.I.O.C. yet King, so far they've dominated this whole match!
Ethan Carter III exits the ring and approaches the fan's weapons table and grabs a trash can lid and a frying pan that's filled with salt, throwing them both in the ring. He then sees an oven mitt that's studded with thumbtacks and broken christmas tree bulbs and puts that on his hand and enters the ring, clearly some of the UWF Faithful has wild imaginations with their weapons. Fandango holds onto Callihan from behind while Carter runs up to him and smashes the studded over mitt and punches Callihan in the head a couple of times, then runs up and hits a huge haymaker punch to Callihan as Fandango lets go, Callihan crashing to the ground. Blood is being spilled from Sami Callihan as Brodie Lee enters the ring with some major cuts on his face. Fandango hits a roundhouse kick to the face of Lee while Carter drives the studded oven mitt to the gut of Lee, then repeately hits some swift jabs to the face of Lee! Lee falls to his knees as Fandango grabs the frying pan and smashes it over the head of Lee, then dumps the salt all over the head, which burns him and Lee yelps out in complete pain!
Styles: Oh that is just sick!
Tazz: Y'know that's pretty clever of Fandango actually to use the salt like that! Lee ain't going down easy but that salt would still cause some tremendous pain!
Ethan Carter III and Fandango both hold up their respective weapons while trying to cover Brodie Lee but the referee states that the T.I.O.C. has to be thrown off the scaffold before they can be pinned. Fandango rolls his eyes in front of the referee and kicks both Callihan and Lee out of the ring. Fandango brings Lee to the tables where the Snake Byte Syndicate has laid out their weapons of choice as he grabs a beer bottle and smashes it over the face of Lee, knocking him out cold! Carter has Sami Callihan by the piller as him and Fandango forces him to start climbing up the pillar and follow him. The fans cheer for the men as the two parties climb up the scaffold for the first time as Callihan is forced onto the wooden top of the 30ft structure while Fandango and Carter make it on top as well. They stand up and walk with Callian to the center of the X-shaped structure, the scaffold not clearly 100% stable looking as it shakes and creaks after every step, and try to shove off Callihan but Callihan smartly goes onto his hands and knees and crawls away from the center of the scaffold. Fandango tries to approach Callihan but Callihan boots him in the face while lying down, Fandango backing up and almost falling off the scaffold! He retreats and descends down the pillar as Carter has Callihan back to his feet and attempts to throw him off the scaffold, but Callihan shifts his body weight around and ends up chucking Ethan Carter III off the scaffold instead!!!
King: AHHHHHH *King scream*
The fans can almost see it in slow motion as Carter is chucked off the X-Shaped scaffold and lands on the barbed wire wall 20ft below! Carter is stuck on the top of the barbed wire wall as the fans are popping loudly for what they just witnessed! Callihan is smiling on the top of the structure, walking to the ledge of the pillar and urging Fandango to come up. Fandango shakes his head, knowing that it's all over if he falls off the scaffold while telling the fans to shut up. He turns around and sees Brodie Lee running up and taking down Fandango with a big boot! Callihan walks down the scaffold pillar as Ethan Carter is still stuck on top of the barbed wire, clearly in shock after falling 20ft in the air. Callihan enters the ring and removes the studded oven mitt that Carter is still wearing and places it on his own hand while nodding in approval. Brodie Lee meanwhile has Fandango in the fireman's carry postition as he climbs the scaffold and makes it to the top, placing him on the wooden top. Brodie Lee steps on the scaffold and raises Fandango up to his feet and walks with him to the center, and tries to push Fandango off but Fandango kicks Lee in the gut and hits an enziguri to the face of Lee, both men go to their hands and knees in fright of falling as Fandango reaches the ledge and climbs back down to the floor, the fans booing Fandango loudly!
Styles: Oh come on! Where's Fandango going, he's suppose to be on top of the scaffold!
Tazz: He's playing it smart Joey, he knows that he can't throw off the big man Brodie Lee on his own.
Fandango plants his feet on the floor, sighing in relief but Callihan comes running to Fandango and punches him in the face with the thumbtack and christman ornamnet-studded oven mitt! Fandango backs up to the security barrier while trying to come to his senses but Callihan hits some more jabs to the face with the mitt as Brodie Lee makes it to the ground, not impressed with Fandango as they gang-beat him right there. Fandango cowards on the corner as Lee is done with him and enters the ring to go after Ethan Carter while Callihan hits a kick to the skull of Fandango! Carter is still on the barbed wire wall but Lee prys him off it, tons of blood is pouring down Carter's back now. Lee brings Carter to the center of the ring and takes him down with the Truck Stop, but knows that he can't go for the pin until Fandango is thrown off the scaffold as well. Callihan meanwhile has Fandango resting on the security barricade at ringside as he grabs the ladder that was knocked down earlier and folds it up, then runs with it and rams the end of it to the face of Fandango! Fandango falls to the ground while holding onto his face, his nose has broke from the sheer impact of the ladder shot!
Tazz: Well there's the first bone broken of the match!
King: Fandango should consider throwing himself off the scaffold before T.I.O.C. breaks every bone in his body! Aha!
Sami Callihan sees that Fandango is down for the count as he chucks the ladder down to Fandango and enters the ring to meet up with Brodie Lee. Ethan Carter III is struggling to get up with the ropes being absent from this match. He approaches the toolbox that's sitting at one of the corner and opens it up while Brodie Lee is approaching him. Carter reaches in and grabs an object as Lee grabs Carter by the head but Carter smacks Brodie Lee in the skull with a monkey ranch! Lee collaspes to the ground as Callihan tries to approach him but Carter hits him in the stomach with the wrench, then a knee to the face. Carter has the monkey wrench and places the end of it onto Callihan's lower front teeth and locks the wrench in, then pulls on it as Callihan is screaming in intense pain! Callihan tries to push away Ethan Carter but falls to his knees as Carter pulls on the lower teeth of Callihan, possibly loosing up the teeth as blood is pouring from the mouth of Callihan! Carter finally lets go of Callihan's teeth as he looks at Callihan's hand and removes the studded oven mitt from it, and throws it over the ropes. Callihan is placing his hand in his mouth to attempt to stop the bleeding but Carter stomps onto the face of Callihan, then sees that Lee is knocked out so he kicks him out of the ring!
Tazz: Is Ethan Carter planning on tossing Brodie Lee off the scaffold?
Styles: I think that's the plan Tazz, but we gotta wonder how Ethan Carter plans on bringing Brodie Lee up there?
Ethan Carter III exits the ring to look down at Brodie Lee and kicks him in the face while yelling out loud at him, blood dripping from his face and landing on top of Lee. Carter gets Lee on his feet and rams his face onto the barbed wire wall, pressing his face onto it. Carter rips the face off the barbed wire and walks with him to the scaffold pillar, slamming his face onto that as well. Carter tries to lift up Lee up the pillar to get him to climb it but the monster of a man won't budge for Carter. Carter steps away and tries to figure out how to proceed with this but Sami Callihan exits the ring in a rage and smashes the back of Carter's head with a trash can lid that was brought in earlier in the match! Carter falls to the ground while Callihan hits him in the head some more with the trash can lid, then tosses it into the crowd (sharing is caring after all!). Both Lee and Carter are down as Callihan tries to lift up Carter but Fandango smacks Callihan in the back with a steel chair, Fandango ready to unleash some hardcore pain onto Sami Callihan! Callihan turns around to face Fandango but Fandango ends up smashing the face with the steel chair, Callihan crashing onto the ground hard! Fandango then lifts up Callihan and walks with him around the ring until they walk on the thumbtack area by the announcer's tables!
Tazz: Fandango's looking to return the favour to Sami Callihan from earlier!
King: An eye for an eye, Tazz!
Fandango and Sami Callihan are both standing on the thumbtacks sprawled across the floor now as the fans are anticipating another big spot to happen. Fandango approaches the Spanish announcer's table and slams Callihan's face on it, blood is spattered across the surface of the table now. Callihan then his placed on the table and Fandango steps on the table as well. Fandango lifts up Callihan to lifts up and gets him up to a suplex position, then drops him with a front suplex onto the thumbtack-filled floor below! Callihan has thumbtacks stuck on his front side of his body and is yelling out loud, but gets driven back down to the ground after a double stomp from Fandango! Fandango wipes the blood from his face as the crowd boos him loudly, then throws Callihan back inside the ring. Meanwhile Brodie Lee is finally up with Ethan Carter as Carter starts to climb the pillar, uring Brodie Lee to follow him. Brodie Lee climbs the scaffold pillar and follows Carter as Carter finally makes it to the top. Lee is almost on the edge of the scaffold but Carter stomps onto the face of Lee, trying to knock him down. Lee fights the pushing of Carter and makes it to the top of the scaffold, for now.
Tazz: Oh man, this is getting intense!
Styles: Ethan Carter has been thrown off already once in this match, he doesn't want to fall off again!
Carter is hammering away at Lee while Fandango stomps onto the face of Callihan back in the ring. Callihan still has pieces of thumbtacks falling off his body as Fandango drags Callihan towards the fishtank full of pirrahnas and almost sticking his head inside it, the piranhas can smell the blood and is reaching the surface. Fandango uses all of his strength to push Callihan's face in the fishtank but Callihan manages to slip out and shoves Fandango's face in the piranha tank!! Sami Callihan holds Fandango's face underwater as Fandango's body is shaking after getting his face eaten by the flesh-eating piranhas!
Tazz: Holy shit!
Sami Callihan pulls Fandango's face away from the fish tank as Fandango is gasping for air, his face has many bite marks on it from the flesh-eating fish! The piranha tanks is beet red now as Fandango is nealy crying now that his delicate face is full of little teeth marks, but Callihan isn't done yet! Fandango yells out loud that he quits but Callihan refuses for that to happen as he kicks Fandango in the gut, then whips him hard to the corner where the tazers are at, Fandango getting shocked by the multiple tazers that are strapped in the barbed wire! Fandango falls to the ground, not able to move right now as there are a bunch of tazer marks on his back! The fans are absolutely NUTS! with the beating that Fandango is taking from the hands of Callihan! Meanwhile Brodie Lee isn't doing as hot as Bateman is still on top of Lee while hammering away at the different body parts. Carter wants to throw off Brodie Lee so he can be one step closer to ending this match. Lee gets to his feet and knees Carter in the gut, then grabs him by the throat as the fans know that Brodie Lee is planning the Chokeslam but Carter headbutts Brodie Lee to stun him, then shoves him off the scaffold and lands on the stack of 50 lightubes at the corner!!!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!
Tazz: That's it! Brodie Lee is done!!
The fans are chanting 'Holy Shit!' as Brodie Lee isn't even moving as the remains of the flourescent light tubes are scattered across the body and hair of Brodie Lee! Ethan Carter is celebrating on the scaffold while Sami Callihan checks in on his partner. Sami Callihan exits the ring as Carter poses for the crowd, knowing that all he has to do is throw off Sami Callihan then he can get the pinfall and retain the Tag Team Titles. He doesn't notice however that Sami Callihan has grabbed a paintball gun from the fan's weapon section, Callihan standing on the announcer's table now so he can get a clear shot and starts firing it at Ethan Carter!! Carter gets hit several times in the stomach and chest, but the final shot to the forehead causes him to fall off the scaffold and lands on the top of the barbed wire surrounding the ring once again! Carter is bleeding from every inch in his body now after falling on the barbed wire twice, but this time he has some blue paint spots on him as well! Callihan yells out loud while throwing the gun to the ground as he and Fandango are the last ones to be thrown off the scaffold, and approaches Fandango in the ring to finish the deed!
Tazz: Man what a vicous match and it ain't even over yet!
Styles: You have to ask: how much more pain and suffering can these men take?!
Sami Callihan enters the ring and notices that the three men are all down. He approaches Ethan Carter who's laying on the barbed wire and shoves him over it, who tumbles to the ground at ringside. Callihan then approaches Fandango and gets him to his feet and chucks him to the corner where the toobox is, almost tripping over the box. Callihan runs up to Fandango and hits a running clothesline, then places him on the top turnbuckle and hammers away at the head of Fandango. Callihan then goes inside the toolbox and pulls out a hammer and drives the sharp edge of it onto the kneecap of Fandango, trying to shift the kneecap just like Fandango shifted the lower teeth of Callihan. Callihan hits the blunt end of the hammer to the kneecap of Fandango, then throws the hammer over the barbed wire. Callihan then climbs the ropes and grabs a hold of Fandango's tights and hits the superplex onto Fandango! The crowd pops for Callihan's motivation as Callihan yells out loud that Fandango is getting his ass thrown off that scaffold!
Tazz: That is one determined dude right there, I'll tell you what!
King: Watch out Fandango, he's looking to end this right now!
Sami Callihan lifts up Fandango and shoves him onto the barbed wire to stun him with more pain, then ducks him under the wire and boots him to ringside. Callihan notices that Brodie Lee is still out from behing chucked on the lighttubes but Callihan knows that he can get Fandango up anyways. Callihan walks with Fandango to the scaffold pillar and rams his face onto it, then tries to force him up the pillar but Fandango refuses to do so. Fandango shakes his head and elbows the face of Callihan, then turns around and hits a roundhouse kick to the face! Callihan falls flat on his ass as Fandango then hits a low dropkick to the face of Callihan, blood is pouring out from both men onto the ground. Fandango gets Ethan Carter back up as they start to double team up on Callihan with a series of stomps and punches. The crowd is chanting to Fandango that he's going to get thrown off the scaffold soon but Fandango tells them to shut up. Fandango lifts up Callihan and grabs the steel chair that's laying around and hits Callihan square in the forehead with it, the chair ending up breaking into two different pieces as Callihan collaspes to the ground!
King: Ouch, that will leave a mark. Aha!
Styles: Fandango isn't going down without a fight!
Tazz: Well it's kinda hard to go down when you won't even go up Joey, hah!
Fandango and Ethan Carter both look down at Sami Callihan, who has been knocked out from the steel chair. The tag team champions turn their attention to Brodie Lee who is just getting up from his fall, they both then enter the ring. Lee is on his hands and knees but Fandango and Carter both stomp onto the big man to keep him down. Fandango and Carter both nod to each other as they lift up the big man and they ram him onto the tazer corner, Brodie Lee's entire body is shaking after getting hit with a dozen tazers at once! Lee goes down but the Carter lifts up Lee and drags him to where the pirahna fish tank is and places his head in the tank, letting the blood-thirsty fish bite into the face of Brodie Lee! Lee is struggling to break free but he's in a vunerable postion as he face is getting chewed by the jagged teeth of the pirahnas! Carter lets go as Brodie Lee gasps for air, but Fandango places the entire upper body of Brodie Lee into the tank as him and Carter hold him under the water; the pirahnas having a feast of Brodie Lee!
King: Brodie Lee probably tastes like a steak from Montana's. Aha!
Styles: That is sick and disgusting, King!
Ethan Carter and Fandango both let go of Brodie Lee as Lee rolls away from the fish tank, his entire upper body has teeth marks from the vicous pirahnas that dwell inside that fish tank. Fandango and Ethan Carter are both clearly enjoying the moment, but realize that they have a match to win. Fandango exits the ring to grab Sami Callihan while Ethan Carter exits the ring to walk up to the GM's table and grabs the bag that Jake "The Snake" Roberts always carrying around. Carter has a feel and smiles to himself, knowing that his assumptions are correct as to what lies in the bag. Fandango is seen throwing Sami Callihan onto the barricade at ringside as Ethan Carter enters the ring and opens up the bag, then pulls out Damien the snake as the fans is in awe. Carter laughs out loud as he lifts up Damien and walks up to Brodie Lee with it. Brodie Lee backs away from Damien as Damien moves his face around Brodie Lee's, but apparently doesn't like how Carter is treating him so he turns around and bites the face of Carter instead!
Tazz: Well that backfired for Ethan Carter!
King: This is Jake Robert's fault, he trained Damien to attack Ethan Carter III; I know it!
Ethan Carter is running around the ring while Damien is still latched on his face. Carter eventually gets Damien off of him and throws him away (a UWF crew member placing him back in the bag), and checks his face for any teeth that's under his skin but Brodie Lee comes running and hits a big boot to the face of Carter! Carter falls down and slides under the ring to where the Snake Bite Syndicate's weapons are layed out. Brodie Lee follows him to ringside but Ethan Carter grabs onto DDP's yoga mat and smacks Brodie Lee in the face but it doesn't absolutely nothing to Brodie Lee. Carter is confused as to why the mat is out there in the first place but Brodie Lee gets face to face with Carter, Carter's knees are visibly shaking with fear. Brodie Lee grabs a hold of Carter and shoves him back inside the ring, but grabs Jake Robert's old glass weed bong and enters the ring with it. Carter rises to his feet but Brodie Lee has the bong in hand and whacks Ethan Carter right in the face with the glass bong, the bong shattering into a hundred different pieces! Carter falls to his hands and knees but Brodie Lee gets Carter back onto his feet and grabs a hold of his waist. Brodie Lee yells out a loud warcry as he charges Carter towards the barbed wire wall, ramming him completely through the babed wire as they crash onto the thumbtack-filled floor, both men ending up tangled in the barbed wire!!!
Tazz: Wow! I don't think I've never seen that happen before!
Styles: I think they're both going to be out for a little while Tazz!
King: I agree, they seemed to be a little tied up right now! Haha!
Brodie Lee and Ethan Carter are both immobolized from being wrapped around the barbed wire, Ethan Carter also getting some of the thumbtacks driven onto his back. Fandango is still beating down Sami Callihan by the fans' weapons table, grabbing the stapler from before and stapling a dollar bill onto the face of Callihan. Callihan yells out in pain as he rips the dollar bill away from Callihan's face, then pockets the money while saying 'hurt's doesn't it?' Callihan is leaning on the scaffold pillar now but Fandango smashes the face onto the pillar then slams him hard onto the ground and gives a bloody smile to the crowd. Fandango stomps onto the back of Callihans head a couple of times, then looks under the ring for a weapon but Callihan is already up and slams Fandango's face onto the barbed wire wall, Fandango stuck in it now as Callihan grabs the steel chair that's laying around and hits Fandango in the back of the head! Fandango falls to the ground and Sami Callihan looks to the crowd while pointing up to the scaffold, then signals that it's time for Fandango to fall off the scaffold!
Styles: Sami Callihan is looking for the kill! All he has to do is throw Fandango off the scaffold then he is able to pin the World Tag Team Champions!
Sami Callihan picks up Fandango and walks with him to the scaffold and starts to climb it, trying to get Fandango up as well but Fandango refuses to leave the ground. Callihan tries his best to lift up Fandango but without the power of Brodie Lee he is unable to get Fandango off the ground. Callihan gives up and hits a double axe handle onto Fandango to knock him off balance, then slams him onto the barbed wire wall again to keep Fandango down. Callihan shakes his head in frustration and tries to figure out how he's going to force Fandango up to the scaffold. He looks under the ring to try and find something, and smiles as he pulls out a really long strand of chain!
King: Oh no, Sami Callihan has something up his sleeve!
Sami Callihan has the heavy chain in one hand and starts to climb the scaffold pillar with his other hand and makes it to the top. He slides the end of the chain through the bars at the top of the scaffold and climbs down while pulling down the chain, creating a pulley system on the scaffold! Sami Callihan then grabs a set of handcuffs from the fan's weapons table and attaches one end to the end of the chain, then cuff's Fandango's wrist on the other end! Fandango is in a complete daze right now as Sami Calliahn grabs the other end of the chain and starts to pull on it, causing Fandango to rise up on the scaffold! Fandango suddenly realizes what's happening and tries to stop Callihan but he's already high up and can't kick Callihan in the face. Callihan has Fandango go to the very top of the scaffold, Fandango holding on to dear life as Callihan lets go of the chain. Fandango is panicking as he tries to climb back down but Callihan is already climbing up while holding onto the chair. Fandango has no choice but to pick the handcuffs, breaking them free as the chain falls to the ground, and climbing onto the ledge of the scaffold! The crowd is cheering as Callihan is almost at the top but Fandango is starting to stomp on the head of Callihan, trying to knock him off the scaffold but Callihan shoves Fandango forewards and makes it to the top as well!
Tazz: Here we go! The first person to fall off the scaffold is in a serious disavantage here ladies and gentleman!
Styles: This is the deciding factor right here Tazz!
Fandango is showing some obvious signs that he doesn't want to be up there, especially after almost getting booted off by Sami Callihan earlier on in the match. Callihan is on his feet and raises the chair above his head, ready to smack the laying down Fandango with it but Fandango pulls a dirty trick and boots Callihan in the groin! Callihan falls to his knees while trying to comfort his groin but Fandango seizes his golden opportunity and kicks Callihan in the face. Callihan falls on his stomach but doesn't fall down yet, but Fandango crawls towards Callihan and tries to shove him down but isn't able to. Meanwhile Brodie Lee musters up enough strength to remove himself from the tangled barbed wire web he and Ethan Carter III were in. Lee steps off of Carter, pieces of thumbtacks falling off his arm. Lee helps remove the barbed wire away from Carter as he picks him off his feet sets him up for the Brodie Lee but Carter escapes that, saving himself from being driven to the thumbtacks. Brodie Lee kicks Ethan Carter in the gut and rams him to the pillar, then chucks him over the announcer's table. Fandango is still hammering away at Callihan at the top as Brodie Lee walks up to the announcer's tables but Ethan Carter steps up and smacks Brodie Lee in a face with a steel chair!
Tazz: Brodie Lee fell for that one!
Brodie Lee collaspes on the ground as Ethan Carter hops over the announcer's table while holding onto the chair still. Brodie Lee sits up but Carter smashes him in the face again, then throws the chair away as Carter yells out loud. He looks up and sees Fandango at the top and starts to climb up the scaffold pillar, Brodie Lee though fights off the dizziness and grabs onto the leg of Carter and knocks him back down, preventing Carter from assisting Fandango. Fandango is on his feet on the scaffold and stomps onto his opponent at the top, trying to knock him down but Callihan refuses to go down. Callihan turns around and knocks him down and hammers away at Fandango. The fans are popping for Callihan now that he's in the drivers seat. Fandango tries to block some of the shots but Callihan has the steel chair in hand and smashes the end of the chair onto the face of Fandango. Callihan hits the end of the chair onto again and raises the chair up for the crowd to see, then throws the chair off the scaffold as he stomps onto Fandango. Callihan lifts up Fandango and tries to throw him off but Fandango spins around and goes for the DDT but Callihan hits a back body drop onto the wooden scaffold, the scaffold shaking in a sketchy manner as the entire crowd misses a heartbeat!
Styles: That scaffold doesn't look very sturdy at all! I can see why Fandango doesn't want to go up there!
King: If I were Sami Callihan I would get thrown off quickly so I don't injure Fandango and scar his perfect body!
Both Fandango and Sami BCallihan are not moving much until the scaffold stops shaking as Brodie Lee throws Ethan Carter back in the ring. Brodie Lee stomps onto Ethan Carter a couple of times on the back, then hits a jumping elbow drop on the spine of Carter. Carter has a pained expression on his face as his spine has been rammed by Lee's huge elbow as Lee approaches the huge fish tank full of pirahnas and lifts it up! The crowd is shocked after witnessing that as Brodie Lee runs towards Ethan Carter and smashes the tank over his head, breaking it completely as the water and pirahnas all fall over Ethan Carter! Carter is shaking around the ring as he struggles to remove the pirahnas attached to his body, but with a potential concussion it makes the challange quite difficult. Brodie Lee kicks the now-dead fish out of the ring as Ethan Carter makes it to his feet, not aware of where he is, and Brodie Lee kicks him in the midsection and goes for the Brodie Bomb, but Carter punches Brodie in the head which causes Brodie to back up to the corner containing the tazer's! Brodie Lee falls forewards and is stunned on the ground, Carter is on the ground as well.
Styles: Ethan Carter just saved himself from the Brodie Bomb, and possibly the match as well!
Fandango and Sami Callihan are still exchanging punches on top of the scaffold, Callihan bringing Fandango to the middle of the X-shaped scaffold. Callihan hits a headbutt to the face of Fandango, Fandango backing up but hits a big punch to the face of Callihan. Callihan is starting to lose his balance as the fans are pleading for Callihan to fight back. Fandango hits another punch to Callihan then a kick to the midsection, Fandango then goes to push Callihan off the scaffold but Callihan shoves away Fandango before he can do anything. Fandango approaches Callihan again but Callihan kicks Fandango in the mid-section and lifts him up in the powerbomb position; and drops him in the center of the X-Shaped scaffold! The middle of the scaffold doesn't have enough support from the impact and the whole scaffold collaspes!
King: AHHHHH!! *King screams*
Fandango and Sami Callihan are freefalling to the ground as the pieces of the scaffold falls down with them, the motion sensored device activates and a bunch of 'explosions' happen mid-air! Callihan and Fandango both crash onto the ring, both bodies go through the canvas completely as the pieces of the scaffold falls on all four bodies in the ring!
Styles: OH MY GOD!!!!!
Tazz: Somebody get the medics out here!!!
The fans are going ABSOLUTELY NUTS as the ring is completely destroyed with the scaffold and canvas completely ruined. Only the pillars and three of the barbed wire walls are still standing, but not without a lot of blood surrounding the ring. The referee looks at the carnage, then looks under the rubble and sees that everyone is still breathing. He then decides that the match would still continue. He then rules that since Fandango and Sami Callihan were both knocked off the scaffold, both teams are able to score the pinfall!
Styles: The referee is still allowing this match to happen? What is he, insane!?!
King: It's for the World Tag Team Titles Joey, we have to see a winner!!
The fans are cheering as the referee removes the pieces of the scaffold out of the ring to allow the wrestlers some breathing space. It's not clear what shape Fandango and Sami Callihan are in but Brodie Lee and Ethan Carter are covered with blood and cuts, Ethan Carter still has some blue paint splats on him from the paintball gun. Brodie Lee and Ethan Carter are first to get up as Lee hits a huge punch to Carter, but Carter knees Lee in the gut then clubs him on the back. Carter hits a kick to the back of Brodie Lee but falls backwards as he falls in the hole where Fandango and Sami Callihan are laying down. Ethan Carter struggles to climb back out as Brodie Lee lifts up the giant toolbox and charges after Carter with it, Carter doing a drop toe hold as Lee falls and bashes his face onto the tool box. The tool box has a bloody face print on it as Carter opens it up and finds a handheld electric saw inside of it! The fans gaze at the saw in horror as Carter walks up to Brodie Lee with an unusual sadistic look as he stands behind a downed Brodie Lee and turns on the saw, places it onto the forehead of Brodie Lee and cuts completely!
Styles: Oh come on, end the match!!
Brodie Lee is rolling away from Carter as Carter walks up to him, telling Lee that he's going to cut off his beard next, then his neck. Ethan Carter is going all Leatherface with the micro saw as he walks up to Brodie Lee and lunges the electric saw at Lee, Lee though stops the bow as the spinning blade is inches away from his face. Ethan Carter doesn't see however that Callihan has risen from the canvas and wraps a cord around Ethan Carter's throat! Carter struggles as Callihan has that cord wrapped around his neck but Fandango gets behind Callihan and takes him down with a flashy inverted DDT! Fandango is back up and looks at Brodie Lee but Lee runs up to Fandango and Big Boots him in the face, Fandango falling down in the canvas hole again. Lee turns around but Carter kicks him in the stomach and hits the One Percenter Driver and goes for the pin...
1!
.
.
.
.
2!
.
.
.
.
3!!!!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Winners and STILL World Tag Team Champions: Fandango and Ethan Carter III
Fandango climbs out of the hole and joins Ethan Carter as the referee presents them with the belts. The crowd isn't too pleased as Fandango and Ethan Carter quickly bails from the ring as the crowd is starting to throw garbage at them. Carter and Fandango both walk up the ramp while posing with their belts as the camera shows the ending credits to this week's episode of Smackdown.
CREDITS
Promos - Respective TTers
Angle/Joe, Austin segment, Masters/Layla wedding, Putting the show together - The Hoov
Booker/Steen, Borden/Henry, TIOC/MDDD - natlav
Confirmed for the Royal Rumble:
UWF Championship
Matt Morgan(c) w/Paul Heyman vs. Montel Vontavious Porter
Street Fight
Cody Rhodes vs. Goldust
2014 30-Man Royal Rumble Match
First-Ever UWF Rags to Riches Match
GRADO & PAUL BURCHILL. YES!!!!!!!!
