UWF 2012: Past Raw Trashtalking

[Lewb]

Raw 20th March - Drew McIntyre Vs. David Otunga

The stagehands are putting the show together in the new arena, and the fans have just arrived. A lot of good matches are expected for this weeks Raw, and with Wrestlemania not far away a lot of superstars trying to get themselves noticed to get a big Mania Moment. One of their music just hit the P.A.

[video=youtube_share;prajlgW-2Dw]http://youtu.be/prajlgW-2Dw[/video]

The only professional wrestling lawyer, David Otunga, comes out in his wrestling attire, being closely followed by Johnny Ace, as the both smile and greet the crowd, but only get met by resounding boos. The two men talk to themselves as they're walking down the ramp.

The Funkman flanks Mr. Jennifer Hudson as they both get in the ring. As Laurinaitis goes straight for a microphone, Otunga poses in his Olympiad taunt as they soak up the heat from the packed out Tampa crowd. The music stops and Johnny starts to speak to the arena.

John Laurinaitis: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is John Laurinaitis, and I am the executive of relations and exclusive manager of David Otunga, the only man that will beat you up, and lock you up at the same time. And David Otunga has requested this time with you all tonight to firstly give Raws general manager Teddy Long a message, and secondly the man who he is going to make a mockery of this week on Raw, the man he should have faced last week, Drew McIntyre. David...

Johnny Ace hands the microphone over to his client, who looks around at the audience before starting to talk.

David Otunga: Teddy, do you know what people have been saying about me, between my debut appearance last week, and when the card was announced? People are questioning my integrity, and some are even saying that I don't want to face Drew McIntyre. They are saying that thanks to you changing what was already a done deal, that I have asked for this sudden change, and that I didn't want to wrestle yet. Not only that... but had I had known that I wasn't needed here Teddy, I could have taken at least one new case one, maybe two... the other profession in which I never lose. So your talent relation skills Teddy... zero. Your costing me money, and your making me look extremely weak before I even step in the ring. Now.... Now you have finally made it happen, I face yet another flaw in this logic that is your General Managerial skillset. You hand me the guy that was made to look weak, by William Regal. Is this really what you think makes me look the best in my debut?

Anyway. Drew, this week you face a much more formidable opponent than William Regal, believe me. I have been waiting for this moment for so long, and the fact that Teddys impotence cost me another week of waiting, well that is going to be taken out on you. I remember how you tried to disrespect me when I came out here two weeks ago, and I remember how you said you were going to be the force to reckon with around here. 2 weeks, and one loss later, you have been left to eat your own words, and for your treason I will hand you the upmost punishment this week....

Courtroom ajourned.

Otunga laughs with John Laurinaitis but gets interrupted by.....
​

 

[Andrew]

What's that metronome hear? Perhaps the end is drawing near.

Out comes Drew McIntyre who is receiving boo's, he tilts his head back in disappointment from last week.

McIntyre walks down the ramp as he does his pose before heading into the ring.

McIntyre walks up to Otunga as he smiles before taking a serious face before grabbing the microphone from his hand.

Drew McIntyre;

Quite frankly your speech put me and everybody to sleep. Mr. Otunga, your law talk is like watching an episode of Judge Judy without the people in the courtroom. Last week I was defeated by a fellow Englishmen William Regal but I shant let that loss put me down, this week I'm facing you. Y'see Mr. Otunga, you don't want to wrestle because you're walking around with a man who hasn't done anything since 1990. While I suffered a loss, sometimes I too wonder where my career's headed. But I ain't letting ya tell me where it's going, I'm going to tell you myself where it's going. Wrestlemania is not far away and I'm going to make sure Teddy gives me my match. Your assumptions of Teddy wasting your money is a complete blasphemy, I know I'm much stronger than you Otunga. I know my will and needs here in UWF and everybody has stopped believing in me. When I first entered into the big company, I was 'The Chosen One', time after time... I lost hope for myself because the opportunities were not given to me. I was promised, I ended up a broken man, divorce and stranded in this pathetic country you call America. I was told this was a country of dreams, but my dreams were broken, they were shattered like the million pieces of glass that you see in the streets. This country is absolutely dirty, there's no cleanse about it and I'm going to change that. I'm going to allow America to become a better country because I'm not going anywhere, unfortunately for me I had to get myself an American Citizenship just to wrestle for UWF, I have dedication for a company and you people won't be sending me packing. I'll be doing just that for you. So Mr. Otunga, your integrity, your claims... They go out the door this very week. I can disrespect anybody at my own willing, whether you like that fact or not Mr. Otunga.

Johnny tries to intervene.

I wouldn't if I was you Johnny. You don't want to see me begin my quest in shambling your dreams and aspiriations right? Last week I succumbed a loss but this week is where the aspirations begin. I was told this is a land of dreams and I am going to do just damn well to make sure that I fulfill my dream. I'm starting with you David Otunga, I might be in your courtroom but the jury is going to find me not guilty. The only thing you'll be guilty of is facing me and losing to me, this week I will finally be on board. Management will see something they've never seen before, you can forget trying to reverse my finisher because I've got one that I haven't used in a long time. I suppose you should start doing your research Mr. Otunga. This is the beginning of an American Dream, as for the rest of these people... It could be an American Nightmare, you can choose to follow in my footsteps for I, Drew McIntyre will change this filthy country for the better or you can choose not to. It doesn't bother me in any way, YOU will listen to me and you Mr. Otunga, you're about to realize that last week I wasn't taking this seriously. A loss is what's required to overcome everything and this week I will make the most of it, I will regain my ruthless agression I once had...

Drew goes to speak but Otunga snatches the microphone off him...


​

 

[TheOneKnownAsFetter]

The crowd boos as Ricardo walks out on stage, mic in hand. He brings it up to speak.

Ricardo R.: Señoras y señores,
Es para mí un gran honor presentar a ustedes,
Él es un hombre de gran nobleza, con una inteligencia superior
Él es un dios entre los hombres
Él es la esencia de la excelencia
Él es Alberto Del RRRRRRRrrrriiiiiioOOOOoO!


[video=youtube;BBpRocISSgY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBpRocISSgY[/video]

The crowd erupts into a chorus of boo's as a Bentley rides in from stage side, and parks itself just short of the ramp. Del Rio steps out wearing a huge smirk on his face, and a towel wrapped around his neck. He climbs onto the ramp and pauses, then continues down to the ring. He climbs the steel steps and enters through the middle rope as his music dies out and a crew member from the outside hands him a mic. A huge Del Rio sucks chant begins as he raises the mic to speak. ​

ADR: My name is Alberto Del Rio, BUT of course you already knew that.​

The fans continue to boo​

Last week, right here on RAW in front of more idiotic peasants such as yourself, I defeated three other men in my debut for the UWF. Last week I did what several other men could NEVER do in their career, I made HHH tap out. Was Alberto Del Rip surprised? Of course not, I did what was expected of me. I did what I told HHH, The Ultimate Warrior, and Tyson Kidd I was going to do last week, and Alberto Del Rio is a man of his word. Tonight Theodore Long has put the Essence of Excellence in the main event. The main event where the Mexican Aristocrat belongs, unlike the likes of Dean Ambrose.

Del Rio directs his attention to Ambrose who is still sitting in the ring.

I'm sorry who are you again? I don't believe we've met. Cause you see Ambrose while you were running around shows for the Independents, Alberto Del Rio was in the big leagues winning major titles and headlining pay per views. You come out to my ring, and insult the Essence of Excellence here tonight? You have the cahones to step into my ring, and call Alberto Del Rio poor? You think holding that hardcore championship gives your credibility in this industry? You're just a glorified stunt man who hides his bad wrestling skill set by trash cans and steel chairs. You're below Albert Del Rio. It's a insult for me to even stand in this ring with a man whose a bottom feeding mid-carder at best. You should consider yourself lucky Alberto Del Rio doesn't slap the taste out of your mouth for the words you've spoken here already tonight peasant.

Del Rio spits in Ambrose's general direction​

You're a disgrace to our business. Just like the other two "hardcore" superstars that will step into the ring with Alberto Del Rio. Joey Ryan and Ultramantis Black? ​

Fans pop for Ryan and Black​

Did the UWF go out on a limb to find Independent wrestlers whose done nothing with their careers? Joey Ryan, a former independent wrestler whose biggest career achievement was being signed by the WWE as a fan and a security guard and then getting released by the WWE. And Ultramantis Black whose spent his whole career over in Japan, and hasn't a single title or accomplishment to his name but being ranked the two hundred and eighty-ninth best wrestler in the world in 2009. The three men that step into the ring tonight with the Essence of Excellence is nothing but mere boys in a man's business. Tonight continues my path, my DESTINY to Alberto Del Rio's Wrestlemania. It doesn't matter if it's three men or six men, the results will always be the same with Del Rio's hand being raised in the air. I am the face. the future, and the best this company has to offer. ​

"YOU SUCK" Chants begins​

Lets not forget my team mates tonight. HHH and Austin Aries.​

HHH chants begin

Everyone knows the Mexican Aristocrat is the clear number one contender to the UWF United States Championship. Last week I proved that, by almost snapping HHH's arm clean out of his shoulder. I beat him in the middle of the ring. Its a travesty that Alberto Del Rio has to compete in the ring tonight to get his title match that he clearly deserves with a man who I made tap out last week, and a man who just had a chance at the champion and failed to take the title off of him.


There's a small Austin Aries chant that begins.

HHH and Austin Aries, my path to Wrestlemania tonight involves you two peasants. Stay out of my way. That United States Championship deservingly will be around Alberto Del Rio's waist at the end of Wrestlemania, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. After tonight I will continue on to Wrestlemania where I will do something that Austin Aries proved last week he couldn't, and that's take Wade Barrett's championship. Get in my way tonight, and Alberto Del Rio will continue what he started last week, and there won't be anyone or any bell that can stop him from snapping your arm.
​

He's interupted by......​

 

[Sam]

The crowd are still cheering once Dean Ambrose lowers his microphone until suddenly the positive turns to negative when a familiar voice is heard throughout the arena.

WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE?

[video=youtube;DfTNAJbbpqg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfTNAJbbpqg[/video]

Joey Ryan's theme hits the PA system and the crowd immediately begin booing. Before long Joey Ryan steps out onto the stage, he stands for a short moment rubbing his hairy chest before he prances down to the ring, he gives his signature mustache taunt to the camera before heading up the ring steps and walking along the ring apron before sticking one foot on the middle rope in his usual sleazy manner. Joey then steps between the ropes and into the ring where he wastes no time in grabbing a microphone. He waits for the crowd to settle down before talking.

Joey Ryan: Excuse me, I couldn't quite hear what you said backstage over the sheer hilarity of everything else you said before it... but did you call me 'gross'?. I mean, really?. Have you looked in a mirror... quite frankly, you don't look like the kinda guy who could afford a mirror let alone look in one, but I digress. Dean, you have a short memory it seems with regards to just how 'useless' Joey Ryan is. I mean it might have been another company... but it was only months ago, I was beating you almost every week in a bid to become the last ever Unified Championship Wrestling United States Champion. Oh yeah, UCW baby, but it seems you don't have the sort of memory that Joey Ryan has so we'll ignore it, because really, the past's the past isn't it?, and we've got to look to the future... look to Joeymania!... I mean, Wrestlemania!.

The crowd boo heavily and chant 'Shave Your Chest!' at Joey with great vigour.

Now, at Wrestlemania, it has been announced that I, the Sleaziest Man in Professional Wrestling will take on not only you Dean-o, but also Ultramantis Black because somehow the referee can't tell who's making the pin. Which for the record, was me. But, y'know, I'm not going to sit here and complain about the complete lack of intelligence and clear thought on the referee and management's part... but I really can't blame them, I mean my sheer prescence is enough to cause women to pass out and men to recoil immediately in intimidation... it's clear to me that the ref, clouded by his mixed emotions and enamourment towards me, made a rookie mistake. But hey, we all make mistakes, isn't that right Ultramantis Black?.

The crowd are wondering what Joey is on about.

Yes, you made the mistake of stealing my championship oppertunity in our contendership match. And y'know, it pissed me off. It pissed me off to the point where I went home and I pumped iron for several weeks just thinking of what I was going to do to you when we met again. Then I thought about it, and I realised that you, are not worth the hassle. You don't have anything I want, and you sure as hell don't pose a threat to me. Not that I'm saying Dean Ambrose does, but you?... pfft, you're nothing!. In fact you're less than nothing, you are a particle in a area of sheer nothingness and there's absolutely nothing you can do to change that... certainly not at the Grandaddy of 'Em All, where I will thrill... where I will excite, entice, pleasure and please all the ladies in the crowd when I give you two idiots the biggest Mustache Ride's of your entire pathetic career!.

The crowd give a mixed reaction, but mostly boo the arrogant Joey Ryan.

So at Wrestlemania, you can use all the weapons you want, you can hit me with a chair, a trash can, ladders, tables, flaming branding irons... hell you could throw the whole damn ring at me and I'd stand and take it like the man that I am. A man of great power... a man of great intensity and above all else a man of undoubted sleaze... and I am going to sleaze it up at Wrestlemania and put a championship belt around my sexy waist for the first time in UWF... I am going to win the Hardcore Championship... win it in style... and turn Wrestlemania... into Sleazymania!.​

 

[Lewb]

Drew goes to speak but Otunga snatches the microphone off him...

David Otunga: Ruthless aggression??! Who are you, John Cena circa Two-thousand four? When it comes to aggression, being ruthless should be part and parcel with that every single time, and you shouldn't even have to make that point clear. If you're not using your aggression in a ruthless manner, then you are consequently showing remorse for your actions, and that Drew... is a weakness that can be drawn upon massively. And now this week, you claim is the start of an American Dream? A Scotsman making it big here would not be an American Dream The American Dream is something that is already in place, it's the whole fabric of our country, how our society already works. And when someone decides that the American Dream doesn't work for them, or that they are looking for a different path to their dreams, that's when we see crimes being committed, crimes against the United States. That's where I come in. Whether it's single-handedly lengthening and strengthening the arm of the law, or its strengthening my grip around another competitors neck I am the one that ensures that the American Dream remains exactly the way that it is today. It's statements like that McIntyre, that shows how narrow-minded and self-obsessive you Britons are. Narrow-minded, self-obsessive.... and..... disrespectful!

The way that you spoke to my manager and executive of relations is totally uncalled for and disrespectful. For someone who means nothing to the business of wrestling, to be so brash to a legend, an icon of the profession that we all love is inexcusable. You claim that you can be as disrespectful as you want to anyone, and be that as it may, up until Tuesday night. But when the time ticks over and we are back in this ring with the bell sounding? We will see exactly why John Laurinaitis was a legend of talent spotting back in the day, and still is. He spotted me and told me what I already knew and that with him, the time it would take for me to get to the top would be shortened drastically. I didn't have to wait for no paperwork to go through, no checks to go through, I decided to come here and I was instantly approved. Granted I wasn't the "chosen one" but the last time someone was billed as that the whole company were made to eat their words immediately after... remind you of anyone?

But then again Drew, that would happen to be the Scottish way wouldn't it. The big build up just to be dropped like a bad habit. Year after year of soccer success, some years domination, and now Glasgow Rangers, they find money thrown on the pitch and they can't work out whether it was a missile or a takeover bid! And Andy Murray, oh the typical Scotsman, and also, the typical example of you Brits way of thinking. Andy Murray wins... and that's hardly ever on the big stage, and he is an undeniable British success! When he loses.... a Scottish failure. This Tuesday Drew... when you read the papers, you won't be British.... You will be Scottish.​

 

[Teddlyforce]

3.20.2012 Raw- Ultimate Warrior v William Regal

And then the Arena goes black then the Nightmare Begins........

[video=youtube;94bGzWyHbu0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94bGzWyHbu0&ob=av2e[/video]

As the theme eerily begins smoke starts to fill the arena

In the Darkness the Warrior begins to speak.

The Ultimate Warrior: Now is the time of darkness and pain. This evil will be unleashed upon you all as the nightmares begin.

The lights come up in the arena and we see the Warrior standing on the ropes pointing into the crowd.

The Ultimate Warrior: What you think to be truth is not what its seems for the Nightmares are on their way to take you all to parts Unknown.

The crowd begins to boo the warrior and chant "Why Warrior Why"

The Ultimate Warrior: Oh you drones want an explanation...Well you deserve NOTHING! For the power of the Warriors has gone black and now you will all see the true meaning of pain and torment! Last week the competitors wanted to speak of the old Warrior not knowing the truth in what the Nightmare represents. THe Warrior decided not to waste his time with any of then for they no not what they speak. Mindless clueless pathetic drones scratching and clawing for your affections. While the Warrior wants only one thing, and you miserable mortals do not deserve to know what it is. All that needs to be known is this I am the one who will bring the pain. I am the one that the Dark Gods have en stilled the power of darkness inside. For I am the man of a thousand Nightmares and Regal will be the first to feel the wrath of the Gods! So William come to the ring and face me the time has come to seal your fate.

The Warrior drops the microphone and awaits Regal's entrance.....

 

[SBS]

Randy Orton: Punk, do you actually listen to yourself when you speak?


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[FONT=&amp]Punk goes to respond but Orton stops him.

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Randy Orton: Shut up!

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[FONT=&amp]The crowd erupts in heat as Punk is taken aback by what Orton has just said. Punk lets off a little smirk as Orton begins to speak. Continuing to pace a look of venom in his eyes.

[/FONT]
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Randy Orton: I wasn’t comparing you to me, Punk. In my mind there is no comparison. As you said yourself you and I aren’t on the same level, but where we differ is the fact where it is my name head and shoulders above you. But that is what happens when you are born into this business, when you are given talents above and beyond mortal men like you. You claim you don’t do anything you don’t want to do, well let me tell you something, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. And what I don’t want to do is lose at Wrestlemania. So it is simple, I won’t. Come Wrestlemania I will finally achieve destiny but that isn’t what the best part will be. The best part will be being the man who finally made CM Punk shut the hell up.
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[FONT=&amp]
Orton cracks his neck before continuing. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&amp]
[/FONT]Randy Orton: The major difference between you and I Punk is simple really. While you like to talk, I like to allow my actions to speak for me. So let me ask you something? How did it feel when I left you laid out on the mat this past week on Raw? I bet it didn’t feel good, and that is just too darn bad, because Punk you better get used to it. I promise every single week leading up to Wrestlemania you will find yourself in the same position again and again and again. Each week will be the same thing, you on the ground and myself standing over you as the Apex Predator and the greatest superstar ever. And you know why I’m going to do this Punk, it is simple, because it is a preview of Wrestlemania, a preview of things to come, and what is to come Punk is after Wrestlemania you will be left in a vegetative state, and whatever hospital bed you wind up in, I promise I will make sure the nursing staff turns your television every week to Raw so that you can sit trapped in the back of your head and watch as I, the man who ended your career makes all your accolades and accomplishments null and void.
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[FONT=&amp]
The crowd is waiting for Punk to respond but Orton won’t let him. Orton instead changes tones. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&amp]
[/FONT]Randy Orton: Normally I’d sit here and give you the chance to opt out of the match, but I know you Punk, you will fight until there is nothing left. I know what I am in for come Wrestlemania, and I’m not scared, I’m more than prepared. You say you don’t need John Cena, Mason Ryan, or any of these nitwits in the crowd, so be it. Cause even if you did bring them the outcome would be the same, the only difference is their will be more bodies and careers ended for me to get what I want.
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[FONT=&amp]
Orton pauses a moment to allow the heat he is receiving to die down before he continues. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&amp]
[/FONT]Randy Orton: You talk again about your career being in consideration. Have no fear Punk, you don’t have to consider anything but one thing. Weather to step into the ring with me at Wrestlemania or not, because if you do, all considerations will be made for you, because I am not only going in to win what is rightfully mine, but to make a statement, and to end a legacy. I promise you two things Punk, before this is all done, you will be a changed man, and you will fear me! I can see your eyes Punk, you aren’t afraid, good. Because I will enjoy making you afraid, because the battle you are in for will be worse than what you did with Alberto a year ago. I won’t settle at just a separated shoulder. I am not a joke like everybody else you’ve faced before, and the fact is still out, you haven’t beaten me cleanly yet, and when Mania is over the one black spot on your career is going to be my name. You won’t be putting me over when I beat you, I’ll be doing everyone a favor and putting you down once and for all. I didn’t come out here to beg or plead for you to find it in your heart to lay down and let me have it. There would be no fun in that. What will be fun is hurting you and taking away what matters so much to you, your legacy. And from the death of your legacy, mine will be even stronger. Wrestlemania is a time where careers are made, where stars are born. I am by far already the brightest star in this business and at Wrestlemania my light will burn directly through you until CM Punk is just a memory and Randy Orton Undisputed Heavyweight Champion is the reality!
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[FONT=&amp]
Orton smiles a venomous smile which raises heat from the crowd. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&amp]
[/FONT]Randy Orton: So go ahead Punk, say how you are the best in the world at what you do. Because until you beat me cleanly, we all know the truth, and that I don’t need to say I am the best, because at Wrestlemania, I prove it.
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[FONT=&amp]
Orton motions for Punk to speak now and Punk doesn’t waste any time getting his verbal barrage in. [/FONT]
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[TheOneKnownAsFetter]

OOC: Disappointed so far by the lack of TTing.

 

[Smartmark]

[video=youtube;ab3mWl67uD0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab3mWl67uD0[/video]

The titantron starts to flicker and Regality by Jim Johnston cranks the arena speakers. Out on the stage walks William Regal. He holds a microphone in his hand and demands that his music is stopped.

Ultimate Warrior. You're still alive? What year is this, 1988? It feels like I've stepped into a time machine here. You make me laugh. You always did! You've only had one great match in your career, and that was against Randy Savage like 20 years ago. Why don't you just do everyone a favour, including yourself and retire already? I will gladly help you out, because the last thing I'm gonna do is to let some fossil like you stop me on my way to be World Champion!

Regal walks down the ramp and heads down to the ring. His eyes focused on Ultimate Warrior.

 

[Sam]

The crowd are still booing following Alberto Del Rio's retort when suddenly...

WHO WANTS A MUSTACHE RIDE?!

[video=youtube;DfTNAJbbpqg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfTNAJbbpqg[/video]

The heat rises once more as the Magnum P.I theme plays over the PA system and Joey Ryan enters the scene. Joey stands on the entrance ramp before strutting down the entrance ramp. Joey walks over to the ringside barricade and puts on leg up on the barricade in front of a nice lady, propositioning her it seems. She is not interested. Joey shakes his head and rolls into the ring. He grabs a microphone and begins to speak.

Joey Ryan: Excuse me for interupting... well, more like saving the day, because Alberto, you were boring absolutely everybody to tears and that's no easy feat considering these people out here are entertained by the likes of Dean Ambrose. Joking aside, not that I was joking, but regardless, Alberto you say that I am nothing more than an extra from WWE?... well I'm sorry if I didn't wrestle for the biggest promotion in the world, I'm sorry I didn't take the man's dollar to sell out on my heritage and remove my mask and I'll be damn sorry if I didn't become one of the most boring, pointless and least remembered champions of recent memory. I'm sorry I am not you. No, I am me, I am Joey Ryan, I am original, I am cutting edge, I am too sleazy for WWE and I am too good to be lumbered with wrestling the likes of you, Dean Ambrose, Ultramantis, or anyone else... because I, am the future of this company.

The crowd give a mixed reaction due to Joey's tirade on ADR's history, but they still hate him regardless.

Yeah you all heard me right, I am the future of this company. I know you like to talk about your 'destiny' Alberto. I know you like to say that your 'destiny' is to be the World Champion. But Alberto, I'm afraid that there's only one man destined for true stardom in this ring and his name is Joey Ryan!. I've paid my dues on the independent circuit, you're right there, I've wrestled up and down the west coast, I wrestled in Japan, in Mexico, even in India, plying my trade to become the very best, and truly believe that I am the very best and I will not have anything change my mind. And y'know why I think I'm the best?. It's because I'm the total package, I have charisma, I have the in ring ability, and boy oh boy do I have the poster boy good looks. But most of all, I have the drive. I have the ambition to succeed which is why I'm driven to kick your face from your skull with That 70's Kick this week on Tuesday Night Raw!.

The crowd are still giving a somewhat mixed reaction.

But I'll have to team with my opponents at Wrestlemania, Dean Ambrose and Ultramantis Black in order to have the opportunity to wipe that smile off your face with pure sleaze. But y'know, it's no biggie. I don't mind tagging with those two guys, because I know that I am so good, that nothing could bring me down. Not even teaming up with two nobodies like Dean and Ultramantis Black. In fact, I'm going to use it as an opportunity to show them exactly what is in store for them at Wrestlemania. By single handedly defeating you, Triple H and Austin Aries. Now me and Triple H have little to no history, but he's old, he's busted up and he ain't got it no more, so no worries on that front and Austin Aries?, if you think I'm an independant nobody, then he's got to be the same right?. So really all I've got to do is kick Triple H in the head, give Austin Aries a Mustache Ride he'll never forget and then I'll finish it all off with the End Scene and make you tap out to the sleaziest man, and soon to be most hardcore individual to walk this earth... me, 'Magnum' Joey Ryan. The future face of professional wrestling.​

 

[The Wrestling Addict]

[video=youtube;YqDeUb6UTEk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqDeUb6UTEk[/video]

"The Kings" by Run DMC jams throughout the arena as Triple H walks out on the stage with a water bottle in his right hand. He poors it over his head, takes a sip, and spits it out as he makes his way down the entrance ramp. He walks over to the side of the ring and gets on the entrance ramp. Trips looks to his right, and then his left. He then puts the water in his mouth and throws the bottle into the crowd. He bows his head and sprays it out his mouth.

He steps inside the squared circle and asks for a microphone. He recieves one and begins to speak.

How ironic is this? Only seven days ago, I was against Alberto Del Rio, and now he is my partner. I guess a lot can change in a week's time. Actually let me rephrase that... I wasn't only against Alberto Del Rio. Alberto Del Rio is the man who did something last week to me that few men in this business have been able to do. I hate to admit it but Alberto Del Rio forced me to tap out. Last week, I came out here and talked about how I was going to beat the hell out of Alberto, and he proved me wrong. After I was left with nearly a broken arm, a ton of thoughts were roaming through my brain. I laid in the ring, staring at the ceiling, just wondering if it was the last time I would ever compete in the squared circle. I finally made it to the back. I didn't speak to a single person on the way to the lockeroom to get my stuff, or on the ride back to the hotel room. I roomed by myself that night because I was too humiliated to stay with anyone. How could I look someone in the eye after tapping out in front of the entire world? I laid in the bed that night, and I swear I didn't close my eyes for even a second of the night. I stayed up all night, just staring at the ceiling, thinking. I thought about what I have done throughout my career. A ton of questions raced through my head. Was that all I got? Do I even have a reason to continue? Have I done all there is to do in this business? Why did I even want to come back in the first place? Am I really a shell of my former self? Is it time to end things? Is it time to end what's left of an era?

The fans are begining to get emotional as they believe Triple H is about to announce his retirement.

But then I realized... I've made it this far. Why the hell should I call it quits now? I convinced myself that I am the same man I was ten years ago but in reality, I am not. I found that out the hard way when I was locked in a cross armbreaker last week and had no way of escaping. That cross armbreaker wasn't a call to end things. It was a wakeup call. It brought me to the conclusion that I am not what I used to be... I realized it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it was a very good thing. I was in denial. That cross armbreaker brought me back to reality. I am not the man I used to be, but I should be, and I will be! I want to start by thanking Alberto Del Rio for giving me that wakeup call.

Alberto Del Rio smiles as the fans boo Triple H.

You can boo me all you want but I am no longer going to be a shell of my former self. For the last seven days, I've been dieting, hitting the gym, and watching tapes, so I can be what I once was. I will break every bone in my body if I have to, to get to where I once was! It all starts tonight! I will be teaming with alberto Del Rio, and Austin Aries to face Joey Ryan, Dean Ambrose, and Tyler Black.

I have to be honest. When I was told who my opponents were, I had no idea who any of them were. Last week, I called Tyson Kidd a nobody. At least I knew who he was! I have never heard of Dean Ambrose, Joey Ryan, or Tyler Black until a few days ago when I was informed they were my opponents this week. I figured I would find out who these three guys were so I would know what to expect. The past few days I have watched videos and researched history on Ryan, Ambrose, and Black. It was rather difficult, finding out about these three, because like me, most people don't know they even exist. That is with the exception of the toothless hicks out there, who go down to a high school gym, to watch there rasslin.

Joey Ryan rolls his eyes at Triple H.

You know it's true, Joseph.

A Joseph Ryan chant now breaks out.

I guess Joseph Ryan will now be trending on twitter thanks to the King of Kings, himself. By the way, I hate twitter!

The chant stops and a new one begins, with this one being a "You Suck" chant.

Well you know what they say, it's better to suck than to blow, and all of you blow! You would know a lot about that too, wouldn't ya Joseph? You look like former wrestler, Rico, and Joe Dirt's love child. Does your mom pick out your clothes, or do you just enjoy looking like a homosexual, redneck, hippie? I couldn't find much background on you, Joseph but a few moments ago, you claimed all you had to do tonight was kick me in the head. Joseph, I just spoke about it, I am currently not in the shape I used to be, but I am working on it. If you think kicking me in the head is all you have to do, tonight you are in for one hell of a rude awakening. I find it ironic you would call me old because you are 32, and look 62! I'm through talking about your raggidy ass! I want to talk to your partner over there, Dean Ambrose. First off, I want to take a look at a video I found on the internet.

[video=youtube;LdIwKalzKQw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdIwKalzKQw[/video]

I typed in your name on youtube and it was one of the first videos I viewed. After watching that, and a few other promos, I have one question for you. Were you dropped as an infant or are you on meth? You walk around and act like a freakin blueberry. You shouldn't be allowed out in public, much less a damn wrestling ring. You look like you haven't had your hair washed in two years, and I bet my ass, you couldn't walk a straight line. You're always spinning around and doing crazy crap when you talk. You see, some people can look like a blueberry but talk normal. You look like a blueberry and you talk like one too! I guess if you look Blue, act Blue, and talk Blue, you must be a blueberry. Even you, Dean, can figure that out. Also, you are the hardcore champion. That isn't something I'd be bragging about if I was you because that title is almost as big of a piece of trash as you are. The title has little to no prestige at all, and it looks like a four year old designed it. Ambrose, tonight I will bring you back to the right state of mind. I will make sure you no longer ride the short bus because when I'm finished, you will actuually be normal for the first time in your life. I am going to beat you, and your opponents, until you are black and blue. Speaking of Black, where the hell is Tyler Black?

I researched that SOB as well, and he was just as unknown as his two partners. I watched a match of his and when I saw him come out, I honestly thought Jesus had come back. But unlike my other two opponenets tonight, this kid actually impressed me. He's a little guy but he sure can haul ass. However, quickness won't get you to the top of this industry. Being able to get the job done is what makes you famous and I have made a living by getting the job done.

One thing I have never accomplished in this business is winning the United States Championship. Winning that title from Wade Barrett is my first priority in UWF. To get a title shot, I have to prove that I am worthy. Austin Aries, Alberto Del Rio, and myself are the top contenders. I don't see how Aries fits in because he got his title match and couldn't get the job done but that doesn't really matter I don't care what I have to do, I will be competiting for that US title at Wrestlemania. When the Game wants something bad enough, he makes damn sure he gets it!

Triple H is interupted when music hits...​

 

[Chris Dresdon]

Wrestlemania Grudge Match: Austin vs. Cena

"PSSH!"

As the familiar sound of glass shattering emits from the speakers of the PA system, the arena literally shakes from the reception of the crowd, a sea of fans that are split half and half between those cheering Austin and those booing Austin. But even those cheering Austin seem divided, as many of them seem to only cheer him because they dislike Cena. As this goes on, the Texas Rattlesnake himself storms out from behind the curtain and begins to make his way down the ramp towards the ring.

He ignores the fans on both sides of him that are jeering or trying to touch him or get a high five or something, instead keeping his eyes fixated on the ring as he turns and makes his way up the steel steps, stepping onto the apron and walking along it before stepping through the ropes and entering the ring. Austin walks to the other side and motions to a ringside official for a microphone, who grants the Rattlesnake's wishes as Steve pulls it from his hand and flips him off, spitting on him. Austin turns away and walks towards the middle of the ring and stops, raising his microphone as his music begins to fade out. Austin points to Justin Roberts at ringside.

Stone Cold: You disrespectful piece of trash. Not only were you not standing inside this ring doin' yer damn job when I came out here, you weren't standin' at all. You still aren't standin' up, yer just sittin' there provin' the name I just called ya accurate, a bag of garbage sittin' on a street corner waitin' ta' be picked up. Well if you ever disrespect me like that again, you'll get yer wish, I'll pick ya up and toss you into this ring and beat the mortal piss out of ya. When Stone Cold steps through that curtain, you announce him to this ring, and you don't do it from a chair, you stand up and remain standing until I instruct you otherwise. You do it for John Cena and he's done a hell of a lot less for this business than I have. Shape up, dumbass. And that goes for the rest of ya at ringside; the referee, the time keeper, the sumbitch that rings the bell, and especially these two wastes of flesh on commentary, all of you will stand until otherwise instructed, just like I ordered Justin Roberts ta' do, and just like I'm ordering all these pathetic fans ta' do!

The entire crowd now boos him as Austin snaps around and looks around at them all.


Stone Cold: Shut up! You getting taken ta' task for this is long overdue, so you have no one ta' blame for this bitter dose of truth but yourselves. For years I busted my ass on this microphone and in this ring in every company I ever entered, and what was my thanks for it? Being told I didn't belong by kids that were just cutting their teeth in the business, being told that your cheers were due to pity because I'd passed my prime and become nothing more than a nostalgic act. The appreciation I deserved was instead being handed to guys like John Cena, who didn't bust their ass on the microphone and sure as hell didn't work hard in this ring. Should I have worn more colorful t-shirts? Should I have cut more childish promos and called someone a poopy head instead of a bottom feeding self-fellating stupid sumbitch? Maybe so but I'm glad I didn't. John Cena, I know you feel like the torch bearer of your generation, the Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock of your era, and that's why you want this match so bad. You want to see which era is better and which of us men is better, although I use the term lightly when it comes ta' you. Not because I think you have lady parts or are a smurf, Rocky covered that territory, but because compared ta' me you are a grade school child. I am the epitome of a testosterone injected, ass kicking, hell raising, full-blooded American male. People look at me and not only think, but know, that I can walk up to anyone I please and beat their ass. People look at you and think what I know, that you can't beat anyone's ass if you don't have the booking team wrapped around your finger to make it happen.

This is You Dubya Eff, John. There are no scripts here, every word I'm saying ta' you right now wasn't rehearsed or prepared, it wasn't pondered over, you are hearing it as I'm thinking it. And there's no backstage politics ta' play, John, the writing team isn't going to book you over me just because you've got a nice smile or big muscles that they like better than the other guy's. You are out of your element, you are without control, and you are in over your head, kid. Ever since the match was made, you haven't said a word, John, and you probably aren't going to. Even if you do, whatever style you choose ta' do it in; a rap, a goofy series a jokes, or you best attempt at a serious promo, I will outclass you. You will be ingested, chewed up, and spit out, and then stomped into the ground afterward. Because a "doctor" from Beantown is no match for a rattlesnake from Texas. Now is where you either prove me right or prove me wrong kid, here, I'll even have them turn your music on for you. And you boys better do it too or I'm walking back to that production truck, and trust me, you don't want to make me do that.

Austin stands there watching the stage as Cena's music comes on.

Stone Cold: There ya go, kid. Hustle, Loyalty, Respect. The music's playin' for ya, the crowd's excited, Justin Roberts over here is pissin' his pants with joy, so come on out here. Wrestlemania's in the air, why don't ya breathe some of it?

Austin lowers his microphone and waits to see if John walks out.​

 

[Chris Dresdon]

UWF Raw 3-20-12: Austin vs. Ryder

As the crowd is anticipating something to happen, suddenly the titantron screen lights up as Stone Cold Steve Austin appears with a Broski headband on.

Stone Cold: Do you see how stupid this shit looks? You pay money to see an idiot that wears this on a regular basis, and cheer for him when he comes out like he's the second coming of Hulkamania. Not only do you pay money to see him do what he calls wrestling, you pay money to wear your own purple headband and t-shirt and all the other garbage he puts out and promotes. You fist pump and spike your hair and practically salivate over this dumb bastard, the exact stupidity I still don't understand but have come to expect from you equally as dumb bastards. This week on Raw I assume a role I am greatly anticipating, the role of murderer. On Tuesday night, I will sink my fangs into the Ryder Revolution and watch it slowly die from the toxicity of the poison that bite injects. Zack, if you think you're going to provide me with any form of challenge, you aren't. And even if you don't want to admit it, you know it....bro.

The screen goes black as the crowd is booing Austin.​

 

[EffectsofRaven]

UWF Raw - Cena vs Steiner vs Rhodes

UWF goes backstage to where John Cena is leaning against a wall, thinking to himself before he speaks to the crowd.

Cenation Leader,
John Cena:

Yo, it's hard to imagine that at Wrestlemania, for the first time in a lifetime, an era clashes with another era, Stone Cold Steve Austin versus John Cena! It's tough to go against someone I used to look up but not anymore, if he wants to his back on the people who brought him to dance, then he's gonna be a world of hurt when I arrive at Wrestlemania and yeah, Austin, I'm bringing the entire Cenation with me, just like they are coming with me on Tuesday Night when I face Cody Rhodes and Scott Steiner!

The fans in the arena pop as Cena nods his head and continues.

Steiner, Rhodes, you too bother me and you want to know why? You have the job of a lifetime. You have the chance to week in and week out entertain the fans and you don't even bother to show up. Well that don't fly with me, and it sure as hell doesn't fly with them. I lost my chance to be Number one contender at Wrestlemania and you don't see me disappearing and respecting this business. I don't know what's worse the fact that Scott Steiner looks like an elephant or the fact that Cody Rhodes spends half his time dressing up as a girl. Well you know what, Steiner, Rhodes, on Tuesday night Raw you can go back to doing whatever the hell it is you think is so much better than performing because I'm going to beat you so bad you will be back on the unemployment line. And Austin watch the match closely I beg you, because you'll see what opening a can of whoop ass really looks like, bitch!

The fans go nuts as John Cena gets to his feet and walks into the camera, his eyes are alight with a raging fire, he talks into the camera.

So what I'm basically saying 'boys' if you want a piece of me, you better bring your A-Game because not only am I spoilin' for a fight, I'm out to prove to all these fans I am the champ... Here it goes, Steiner, Rhodes... IF YOU WANT SOME...

Cena stays silence as the Cenation finishes off his sentence.

Fans: COME GET SOME!​

 

[Deuce]

Zack Ryder's theme song hits the titantron and the crowd gives a decent pop. Ryder comes walking down to the ring slowly with a mic in his hand, he gets to the ring then enters and goes straight to the talking.

Zack Ryder: "Stone Cold Steve Austin.. well, well, well.. never thought I'd see the day I'd get to step into the ring with you. Well, I guess I got a few things to say about you. Bro, when I was younger I looked up to guys like you but now when I look at you I think, "Was I high my whole childhood?" I just cannot believe I looked up to a guy who doesn't know fashion when it's on his head. Dude, I knew you were just a drunk, like you think your a vampire or something, but bro, I'm sorry you cannot practice your erotic fantasies with me, that's what your hand is for. Broski, I suggest seeing a therapist about that, it's kind of creepy, plus your like old enough to be my dad. Steve, I could just go all day dissing your ass but I'd rather not waste my time with some washed up has been like you. So, here's some sand, it'll make the crabs feel at home."

Crowd laughs and awaits a response from Stone Cold.

OOC: First TT I've made in a while so it might not be very good.