ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu
ECW Television Champion: Taz
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Gangstaz
ECW Hardcore Heaven
August 17th, 1997
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Joey Styles is in the ring and welcomes us to the show. Joey Styles gives us a rundown of tonight's main event, as the crowd boos all three men in the main event

Rick Rude comes out, but before he can talk Joey cuts him off and says he knows he can snap his neck and beat him up. But he has to say this, he not only turned his back on ECW with what he did in the steel cage. But now he hired himself out to some boy toy in another organisation. Joey says this mic is his but this interview isn’t his, Rude then says he must have mistaken him for someone who gives a crap. What he'd like right now is for all you fat, out of shape, Lauderdale losers give it up for the next ECW Television Champion, Chris Candido. Tod Gordon then comes out with security and he says Rude turned down a lucrative two-year announcing contract to be a gun for hire, and he can't judge him for what he does outside of ECW, but he's not a manager, and he bars him from ringside! He has security escort Rude from ringside.
ECW Television Championship: Chris Candido vs. Taz
This was kinda weird like it’s was cool for an opener but it was missing something and it didn’t help that they just went back and forth with moves with no real story, Candido did some moves towards Taz’s neck but he never really followed up. The crowd was also shit, they’re like today's crowd trying to get themselves over with chants and sitting on their asses the whole time. The match ends when Taz hits a series of T-Bone Tazplexs but Candido out of desperation hits a scoop slam. Candido places Taz on the top turnbuckle and signals for the end, but Taz recovers and does the cut throat taunt before applying the Tazmission and Candido has no choice but to tap out. So yeah, I like I said this is technically fine but it was lacking something, I was expecting blood and just pure Taz squash violence because during the build Taz signed the contract in his own blood, Candido then beat the shit out of Taz in a cage and locked in his own Tazmission to him then the next week stole his gear and did all his moves pretending to be him. So yeah I was let down a bit. **1/2 - **3/4
Joey announces that the next PPV is ECW November to Remember 1997 on 11/30 in "Pittsburgh". He introduces clips of the ICP in the ring before the show, they are hyping up the crowd. But RVD beats the shit out of them and Sabu comes out in a suit to join in on the fun. YES!
Spike Dudley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Before the introduction Bam Bam again teases Spike that he’s gonna throw him into the crowd. So this is on par if not better than every squash match ever. Spike goes on the attack early but on Bam Bam headbutt puts a stop to him, he then follows up with his amazing one-handed beal sending him from one side of the ring to the other; Bam Bam just like in the first one gets a bit too cocky and Spike has this great little comeback. Spike goes up top for a ‘rana but Bam Bam catches him and absolutely kills him with a powerbomb. Bam Bam isn’t done as he press slams him onto the ring-post and to the floor. Spike slow gets back into the ring and again Bam Bam picks spike up over his head, but this time he actually does it

HE THROWS SPIKE INTO THE 2ND OR 3RD ROW OF THE FANS. BAM BAM BEING SO PROUD OF HIMSELF DOES A CARTWHEEL IN HE RING TO CELEBRATE

The fans drunkenly try to carry Spike to the barricades until Bam Bam drags him over himself and back into the ring. Bam Bam hits a nasty looking Piledriver and follows up with a moonsault for the win. Best squash ever. ***
Joey Styles show us again the ICP getting killed but, the Sandman who can’t compete tonight due to injuries suffered in the steel cage match tried to make the save. RVD hits him with the Van Damninator, Sabu then went up top and threw a chair in his head; they’re not done as they do the splash/legdrop combo with a chair on top of his head. We then cut to footage of Sandman being loaded into an ambulance.
Rob Van Dam (w/Bill Alfonso) vs. Al Snow
This is being contested under Monday Night Rules

Snow hasn’t found head yet so he's just still a nobody. Styles tries to put over Snow calling him a wrestlers, wrestler

Snow is getting the same amount of Booo’s as RVD if not worse

This is pretty much an RVD showcase, not on the level as the Barely Legal one because Snow is now Storm, but at least RVD isn’t as sloppy as he was then. He’s slowing growing into his 1998/1999 insane offense. RVD’s bumping is the best as he makes everything Snow does look deadly, they have this nice sequence with Snow avoiding a senton from RVD but just dropping to the floor, and he doesn’t fall of RVD’s baseball slide. This is just like the Taz/Candido match as they trade moves back and forth with neither working a body part, but at least with this one, it kinda makes sense as this is a first time meeting with no previous build or someone signing a contract in fuckin’ blood. RVD hits the Van Daminator for the win. **1/2 - **3/4
That smurf Lance Wright is in a helicopter, the Sandman stole the ambulance and is now driving around Florida but he seems to be lost

well no shit, he probably drunk and concussed.
Jerry “The King” Lawler is cutting a promo he says he just got off the phone with Vince, he says this has to be the darkest day in his entire career to be here in this dump with all these ECW morons. Vince said he admired his guts for going into the mouth of the lion's den alone, and he told Vince that he's not by himself, because all the WWF superstars are with him in spirit. Last night, The Undertaker said he'd like to see Tommy Dreamer rest in peace, and gave him permission to use the Tombstone Piledriver. Even Bret Hart told him that he was right, and he'd like the honor of Lawler finishing off Tommy Dreamer with the Sharpshooter! Earlier today, Stone Cold called him and said he wanted him to open up a can of whoop-ass on Tommy Dreamer, and he may just do that.
The Dudley Boyz are in the ring along with Joel Gertner, Big Dick, and Sign Guy Dudley oh and fuckin Jenna Jameson. Joel says if there's one thing more precious than PPV, it's The Quintessential Studmuffin, Joel "Squeeze My Lemon Until the Juice Runs Down My Leg" Gertner. He gives everyone the introductions first Jenna, then himself “Studley Dudley” he then turns to Jenna and says remember that name you’ll be screaming it later

Sign Guy Dudley and Big Dick Dudley is next. He officially announces the Dudley Boyz as the new ECW Tag Team Champions.
ECW Tag Team Championship: The Dudley Boyz (w/Joel Gertner, Big Dick Dudley, Sign Guy Dudley & Jenna Jameson) vs. PG-13
Ice gets on the mic, I guess they are the babyfaces tonight. Which makes no sense as they came from Lawler promotion in Memphis and from that 3-minute clip I saw of them on that one ECW show they looked and acted like great comedy heels. Anyway, Ice says momma Dudley must be a whore cause of all the different Dudleyz running around, he then calls Buh Buh fat by saying; he’s so fat if I told you to haul, your fat ass would have to take two trips. He then just calls big dick, just a big dick and says Joel looks like Elvis right before he died. He then hits on Jenna who turns her back on him. Yeah so was pretty bad, like I said PG-13 are a comedy act and they can’t do all their great dick heel antics being a face, it’s just like everything else on the show it’s technically fine but it’s lacking something, this would have been fine on some throw away weekend show but not on your 2nd PPV ever. But u guess with Perry being a walking cripple, and Mustafa being out this is the only other Tag team on the roster. This was more of a Dudleyz showcase more than PG-13 showing or breakthrough, fuck it Dudleyz win after the 3D. **1/2
Joey Styles confirms that The Sandman is driving around South Florida in a stolen ambulance; smurf Lance Wright says he's lost and made himself a stop at the gas station to get more beer
THE LIGHTS GO OFF...BUT WHEN THE TURN BACK ON Jerry “The King” Lawler is in the ring, he says he wants to invite the idiots who brought this PPV, those idiots who probably have more money than brains ordering this show. He says he would like to invite the PPV fans to watch a real pay-per-view on September 7th as the WWF presents Ground Zero. Lawler then repeats the promo he did backstage
Jerry Lawler vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty)
They waste no time going right at it, as Tommy drills Lawler with two frying pan shots to the head busting him open immediately. Tommy then proceeds to beat the shit out of Lawler through the crowd using beer, a cheeseburger and a cookie sheet as a weapon

Lawler's selling is fantastic, as he not even making an attempt to fight back because this is “out of his element” Dreamer begins choking Lawler with a belt, but once they get back to the ring. Dreamer takes too much time pandering to the crowd allowing Lawler to launch Tommy off the top onto a steel chair. He brings to use a steel chair as a partner doing same and now it’s his time to beat on Dreamer around ringside. I love that Lawler is doing payback stops e.g. Dreamer dropped him balls first onto the rails so Lawler does it to him, plus it goes with the story with Tommy’s ballsack injury. Lawler isn’t done as he grabs the belt Tommy choked him with and does the same to him. But Lawler being the sick person he wraps the belt around his fist with the metal part sticking out and proceeds to punch Dreamer in the head busting him open. Lawler then connects with the piledriver but he’s too cocky and waits too long so Tommy kicks out at two, Lawler rips off Tommy’s ECW shirt and proceeds to wipe his armpits and his ass

Lawler's punches have no effect and TOMMY IS PISSED! He starts dishing out King style punches and they both drop the straps but when Lawler does his he does the Flair front drop bump. Tommy then grabs the ECW ripped shirt and stuffs it in Lawler's mouth, to which the refs has words with Tommy about allowing Lawler to grab Tommy’s balls

Lawler drops 3 knees to Tommy’s balls and sets up a DDT but Tommy shoves Lawler into the ref knocking him down, Lawler then DDT’s the ref taking him out. Dreamer goes to get some revenge on Lawler’s balls but the light goes out...And Rick Rude is back, he nails Tommy in the head with the trash can twice before shaking Lawler's hand and rolling Tommy back in. Tommy kicks out and again gets the upper hand, but again the lights go out and JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS IS IN THE RING! He clotheslines Tommy as Jerry looks shocked, he DDT’s Tommy. He swerves Lawler with the handshake by clotheslining him…but he falls on top of Tommy for two, Jake then claps as he walks away. Tommy goes for the DDT now but again the lights go out and…..Sunny is in the ring, she sprays hairspray in Tommy’s eyes as we get a CAT FIGHT! Lawler then tries to use Beulah as a shield, but she kicks him in the dick, and Tommy gets a ball claw in revenge and hits the DDT for the win. This is 18 minutes and the first 14-15 minutes are the best thing on this show, but the lights out fuckery almost ruined it. ***
Clips air of Sabu/Funk/Douglas I
Lance Wright says he thinks The Sandman has finally made it to the arena; it only took him an hour and 50 minutes. Sandman fights off security and police with a cane as they just yell back off. Now if that was a black man, nope I ain’t gonna go there.
Three-Way-Dance for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship: Shane Douglas (w/Francine) vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu (w/Bill Alfonso)
Francine’s cleavage is on fleek tonight she’s got this all black pov leather outfit on that pushes her tits up making them look bigger. Francine then tries to pay off Funk either to work with Shane or to leave the match, he doesn’t buy it and throws the money into the crowd. JESUS FUCKIN’ CHRIST THIS GETS 30 MINUTES, IDK if Heyman and Shane are fuckin’ but I have no idea what Shane has all these freedom and main event ring time because he’s like the worse wrestler in the fuckin’ company. Styles lets us know that Sabu had to have 100 stitches on his arm after the barbed wire match and then he superglued it together too. GOD bless that man, also go to Sabu’s go found me page. Give him some money I think it’s for a new hip, he deserves it. So this is a total fuckin’ mess as expected, it’s worse than the Barely Legal match mostly because Douglas is in it but mostly because it has no story except for Sabu and Douglas working together early to eliminate Funk. Shane might be the dumbest wrestler ever, after what seems to be like 5 minutes of working with Sabu he proceeds to whack Sabu in the back with a chair for no reason it’s not like he then tried to pin him. Nope, Styles tries to save it by saying Shane probably thinks Funk it weakened enough so Shane can pin him. Well, that would be true if this was one fall, but ECW 3-Ways are elimination so yeah. Anyway, Sabu turns up and begins diving on any and everyone, even hitting his double jump moonsault wiping Douglas out who was in the crowd. Fuck this, they do stuff for another like 10 to 15 minutes is just aright I guess I’ll tell you what I will probably never watch ever again or would ever watch their first match together one time, fuck that. Fonzie brings in a table and places Funk on top of it but here comes Tod Gordon who beats up Fonzie and takes Funk off the table, Douglas then attacks Gordon and places him on the table but Funk puts Fonzie on their too and Sabu takes them both out with a legdrop. As officials are tending to Gordon and Alfonso, The Sandman runs out and begins beating up Sabu with the ladder. Here comes the Police to escort Sandman away, but at the same time, Funk and Douglas both cover Sabu to eliminate him.
Police struggle with Sandman on the entrance way and Sabu hits the double jump no hands plancha wiping out everyone, they brawl to the back leaving this down to Terry Funk and Shane Douglas. Shane and Funk brawl as wrestlers from the back come out and watch from the entrance I guess to try to make this epic

lmao

Funk’s right hands are amazing, he might be on Taker’s level as the best puncher ever. Funk kicks out of Shane’s shitty belly-to-belly suplex to which Styles loses his mind because no one has ever done that before

Francine gets in and begins to slap Funk but…..DORY FUNK JR. makes the save, Douglas and Funk fight on the apron but just simply fall through the table on the floor

Funk kicks out of the Belly to Belly AGAIN! And he kicks out of it a 3rd time, but the 4th is too much and Douglas pins Funk. FUCK EVERYTHING! Terrible match, I have no idea what Heyman’s obsession with Douglas is I just want it to end. **
Post-Match: Francine and Douglas take turns whipping Funk in the back with the title belt as wrestlers just what on, SMH show the OG Funk some respect you, geeks. Joel Gertner is here with the Dudleyz, he says before he got attached to the Dudley he was his personal ring announcer. Buh Buh and D-Von continue to beat up Funk as wrestlers just look on

Joel says he has the gold and it’s as simple as this dump his less than successful tag team and join the tag team champions, forget the triple threat. Join the triple crown. Here come Bam Bam and Candido……and they brawl? Oh, so now the geeks on the floor get involved and break it up. The Triple Threat leaves and Big Dick hits everyone with Chokeslams until Kronus and New Jack run out along with Axel and Balls and take the fight to the whole Dudleyz family and New Jack kills Gertner with a steel chair.
Terrible fuck show, only thing to watch is BamBam/Spike and Dreamer/Lawler before the fuckery