This is EXTREME: Fab watches ECW 1997 For the first time

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz

ECW Barely Legal 1997
April 13th, 1997
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Joey Styles is in the middle of the ring and welcomes us to the FIRST PAY-PER-VIEW! He gives goes to give us a run down of the card but out comes the Dudley Boyz and crew, right off the bat we get a “FUCK YOU D-VON” chant, racist af fuck. D-Von tells them to 1. Shut the hell up and 5. Bow down to them, and if he’s said it once he’s said it a billion times. You, people, are the most no-good, inbred, illiterate pieces of garbage he’s ever seen. And as far as he's concerned it’s now time to TESTIFY!

“This is Extreme" intro air for the first time that I’ve heard, not the semi-dope generic song they usually play on ECW TV.

Joel Gertner now has the mic; he says the people have comes from miles around and put their money down to hear the sweet melodic sounds of the quintessential stud muffin, Joel Gertner. At this time, it is your pleasure to hear me introduce the team that comes from “THE LEGENDARY FIGHTING TOWN OF DUDLEYVILLE” He then introduces Sign Guy Dudleyz but Buh Buh and D-Von.

ECW World Tag Team Championship: The Dudley Boyz (w/ Sign Guy Dudley & Joel Gertner) vs. The Eliminators
The Dudleyz bail so Sign guy tries to attack them, he receives a total elimination for his troubles which leads to a Pear harbor job by the champs. They proceed to 2-1 both men until Perry makes a comeback and the eliminators go on offense. I should point out, the eliminators are wearing the gayest pink and silver two tone pants I’ve ever seen. Shit looks ridiculous. Anyway, they hit this stereo side moonsaults or cartwheel moonsaults off the top; Perry then gets an assisted backflip onto the Dudleys on the floor, Kronus then outdoes him with a back to back backflips (try saying that fast 5 times) moonsault to the floor, but he kinda fucks it up as I hear a thud on the landing and it looks like he hits to top of his head on the apron. Back in, The Eliminators are in full control and start dishing out every move they can think of to do, but not makes covers smh. Kronus then hits a 450 off the top but then instead of going for a pin would rather hit Buh Buh with total elimination for the win. Post-Match: Joel gets into the ring with a mic and says; all of you fans are too stupid to realize that on the stud scoring system, ladies and gentlemen, your winners by a score of 86-83. And still the ECW Tag Team Champions THE DUDLEY BOYZ! Emulators have heard enough and kill him with TOTAL ELIMINATION!

Overall: This match was a mess and pretty terrible, after the pearl harbor job the Dudleyz just got their asses handed to them for 8 straight minutes. It was pretty much a video game showcase for Perry and Kronus with no real effort in wanting to win or even dish out punishment. Just let's do some shit then when we’ve had enough, eh we’ll pin them. *1/2

Video Package airs on the Sandman.

Joey Styles lets us know Chris Candido was supposed to wrestle but with this arm injury, he will be out for at least 6 weeks to heal. However, Chris is in the ring with his arm in a sling. Candido says in 1993 when ECW started, he was on the very first show. He says he conquered the world and he was with his friend Dr. Tom and his girl at WrestleMania, and he came back home here to ECW. He says now it's extreme and on PPV, but he's not a part of it and says he wasn't even advertised when he was healthy. He challenges The Sandman to come cane him, except no, because he doesn't like the smoke and Singapore is a big pussy country and says to come back with a Jersey cane if he wants to hurt him. He says Stevie doesn't even have trunks, and Terry Funk is fine, but he's the one who started this place and says he'll be on this show tonight.

Lance Storm and his amazing rat tail hair comes out for the match and shakes Candido's hand.

Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam
“You Sold Out” Chants directed to RVD; I guess this was right around the time of the ECW invasion angle. I think RVD was offered a contract, I don’t remember. Some real good counters and game of one-upmanship to start, it’s not RVD/Lynn level but it’s none neither the less. RVD gains control after a no hands summersault over the top. A top rope leg drop gets two before, going back to the floor for a moonsault of the rails. RVD grabs the chair and brings it back into the ring. He whips Lance hard into the turnbuckle and when Lance bounces out RVD simple throws the chair into his face. Running dropkick with the chair is followed. And the crowd pops, but then they realize RVD might be leaving so they immediately start chanting “Sell Out” RVD hits a modified version of Chris Daniels Angels Wings and connects with his amazing Frog Splash, this was before the Frog Splash became his finisher because Lance kicks out at two. Chair threw in Lance’s face again, but he manages to counter the rolling monkey flip and drops RVD face onto the chair. Lance makes his comeback as the match begins to pick up the pace, at one point Lance hits the softest looking chair shot I’ve ever seen Thankfully he makes up for it by murdering RVD’s neck by hitting a sit-down powerbomb onto the chair for two. Good series out counters before RVD kinda botches a springboard elbow, he connects with it but it wasn’t as clean as it should have been. Lance hits a beautiful bridging German suplex for two. But ruins everything with 2 of the even softer chair shots in history, RVD pretty much no sells it and hits the Van Daminator and a Standing Moonsault to win. Post-Match: RVD says he isn’t out here to get his Lance’s or the people’s respect. He also doesn’t give a shit about respect from any of the boys or Paul E. Lance calls him an asshole and leaves and RVD says he's right, and he says he sold out to himself by getting in the ring tonight after being chosen to fill in for somebody injured. He says RVD is no replacement anything, but he swallowed his pride for business, and by beating Lance Storm, he's worth more money here and RVD is worth more money elsewhere.

Overall: This was good and would be better in a year or two, but as for now. It was just two guys, two really athletic guys with no backstory showing the fans what they can do. RVD came out looking like a future star and not just Sabu’s tag partner or just in his shadows. Lance had a good showing too minus the chair shots. **3/4 - ***

Great Sasuke, GRAN Hamada & Masato Yakushiji vs. Terry Boy, Dick Togo & TAKA Michinoku
TAKA, Terry, and Dick come out to the b.W.o theme along with b.W.o attire because b.W.o JAPAN is taking over. Streamers for respect. Just like the first match between these 6, I will try my best to keep up or at least just talk about the epic shit. The match starts off with Hamada’s team taking turns beating on TAKA before they turn the tide and get some shit in on Sasuke. Styles lets us know that Sasuke might be a little jet lagged as last night he wrestled in the Tokyo Dome in front of a sell-out crowd against Thunder Liger for the J-Crown Championship, GOD DAMN! I just realized they have their own ref for this match, b.W.o isolate Yakushij but he makes this amazing comeback with flips and the match is kicked into a high gear with everyone hitting the cleanest and smoothest flips counters, double teams all of it. After at least I wanna say 15-18 minutes of just some insane get your shit in but at least go for a cover, Sasuke beats TAKA with a Tiger Suplex.

Overall: This was something else as you can see for my lack of words, I pretty much just sat there and stared at my TV screen just wonder what move can be done next or how are they gonna top themselves next. This style isn’t for everyone and I wouldn’t want a whole card of matches like this. If you’ve seen Dragongate or the ROH 2006 Dragongate match, or even today’s Lucha this is it just spots turned up at a higher level. ***1/4 - ***1/2

Big Stevie Cool cuts a promo on how for two years when he was Raven’s lackey he couldn’t look himself in the mirror but now he has the opportunity to rectify all of that and come out of the shell he's been in all his life.

Shane Douglas and Francine come out with riot squad members, Fran is wearing this hawt little black see through nighty outfit. It’s like the ones your bitch wears to bed but just a sexier version. Douglas gets on the mic and says and so it has come down to this, he told you all he came back to ECW to lead all you son of bitches to the promise land. And in the world of professional wrestling, that promised land is called Pay-Per-View. He says you don’t have to like me and doesn’t give a shit if you do, but ever single one of you are looking at greatness. You are looking at the first man to call pussies out from another organization and them ain’t man enough to come. You’re looking at the guy that put extreme in ECW. He brags about winning the ECW TV title and breaking Gary Wolf's neck, he then brags about beating up Gray Wolf with a broken neck.

ECW Television Championship: Shane Douglas (w/Francine) vs. Pitbull #2
Remember is Shane wins, the maked man must unmask. Also, Gary Wolf is sitting in the front row so you know fuckery is about to go down. So after they exchange some rights they then proceed to waste away the rest of the match and the angle in total by wait for it……chain fuckin’ wrestling and wrestling like this is a first time meeting like, everything that has to happen for the past however long this feud has gone on hasn’t happened. Like holy shit, Shane broke your best friends fuckin’ neck he tried to break your fuckin neck. You’ve beaten one another up in I quit matches and violent brawls all across the east coast and on the go home show with so much on the line you guys want to wrestle? And wrestle like it’s the first encounter. OH, AND WHAT MAKES IT WORSE THIS GOES 20 MOTHERFUCKIN’ MINUTES. Oh Blue storytelling of the night, Shane hits this dumb fuck with 3 straight piledrives and instead of that being the finish he doesn’t even cover NO! instead, he uses it as filler to apply more rest holds to the neck. FUCKIN’ HELL! Pitbull sells NONE OF IT! At one point Gary Wolf hops the rails and beats on Shane until the riot squad breaks it up. They try to hardcore it up. But both guys are so gassed it looks sloppy and depressing. Poor, Fren she deserves so much better. Her crying acting is amazing. Fuckin hell we even get the taped fist gimmick that Joey tries to sell as brass knuckles smh. Look fuck this, the match ends when Candido comes out to interfere allowing Shane to hit the belly-to-belly side suplex for the win, yeah not a move that targets the head or anything like that but a fuckin belly-to-belly.

Post-Match: A voice comes on and says a deal is a deal, he says he’ll take off the mask but you give up the girl or I’ll give you an ass kicking of a lifetime. So the masked man comes out in full Rude robe, he begins making out with Francine. Douglas gets pissed and hits him from behind with the TV title. As he begins to unmask him one of the Riot guys hopes into the ring to reveal himself….IT’S RICK RUDE, but who’s under the mask…..IT’S BRIAN LEE? WAIT WHAT? Rude punches Douglas into a chokeslam. SWERVE

Over: FUCK OFF 1/2*

Backstage: Raven says tonight an entire world is tuned in, to see the greatest hardcore legend defeat the Sandman, but Stevie Richards as well. So he can go on and face the greatest grappler of the modern era and 90% of the fans have tuned in to see a bitter has been vanquish his bitter nemesis. But 10% of those people have come to rage against the machine. Those 10% have come to raise their arms in a crucifix and have come to see me win.

Backstage: Taz cuts a promo on how the time for talking is done, and he’s waited his whole life for a match like this, for an opponent like him. He hates Sabu, and Sabu hates him. He wouldn’t want it any other way. In a few short moments, they will both go through hell and he loves it. Fonzie lists all the wrestlers Taz has choked out, before saying he choked them all out because one, I can. Two, because I want to and three, because Fonzie put money on it. Sabu, we’re going to a war. he knows Sabu fears him. He says he's gonna bust him up, and he's getting goosebumps, brother. He says he's going to hook his hold on him and choke him out because he has no choice.

Grudge Match Of The Century: Sabu vs. Taz (w/Bill Alfonso & Team Taz)
Huge intense staredown to start, Sabu pacing like he’s got pins and needles in his feet because he’s so anxious, while Taz jut stands there looking at him in his eyes with pure hatred. I LOVE IT! They trade slaps before punches and Sabu gets murdered by a Taz clothesline sending him to the floor. Right of the bat, Taz goes for the Tazmission but Sabu blocks. They counter holds until Taz locks in this beautiful figure four ankle lock, it looked brutal. Taz is so confident he begs Sabu to go for the leg and when he does Taz counters and begins cross facing Sabu’s nose busting it up and potentially breaking it Sabu takes a brief breather before taking out Taz’s knee, Sabu sends him into the crowd before using a chair for the double jump no hands springboard plancha. They brawl through the crowd and back to ringside. Sabu goes to use the chair at a leaping point but Taz avoids and clotheslines Sabu back over the rails. Taz starts doing what he told you he was going to do and that’s stretch the shit out of Sabu before beating the blood and snot out of him, it’s got that real fight feel with both men’s passion and hatred mixed with them refusing to stay down for the other, so they just throw strikes for distance is great. Sabu grabs a chair and as Taz is just slouched in the corner he throws the chair into his face, Sabu connects with one assisted leg drop but when he tries or another Taz catches him and drops him jaw first onto the steel chair. God DAMN, Taz just hit the stiffest clothesline right in the jaw, out of desperation Sabu grabs the attire and sends Taz to the floor but he again goes for the double jump no hands springboard plancha but Taz moves and Sabu crashes into the rails, Taz isn’t done he grabs Sabu and belly-to-bellies him into the crowd. Back in the ring, Team Taz sets up a table between the ring apron and the rails kinda like a bridge. Sabu again goes for the double jump but stops himself in mid-air, he goes for a DDT but Taz shoves him through it. Taz clutches his shoulder, the shoulder that was injured in and was the one he had surgery on. Sabu connects with a ‘rana off the top followed by a leg drop ¾ across the ring. Taz is now mad and begins murdering Sabu’s neck with variations of Taz-plexs. But wait, Sabu busts out a t-bone of his own. HE NOW LOCKS IN HE OWN TAZMISSION, but Taz fights out and counter with a suplex. T-Bone Taz-Plex connects and he signals for the end. Taz locks in the Tazmission and Sabu passes out.

Post-Match: Taz says Sabu, listen to me; what happen was I choked you out this isn't him blowing smoke up his ass, that was the fight of his life. Some fan tries to get himself over so Taz says you need to shut your mouth and have some respect. Taz says he’s got some much respect for him and the fight they just had, and it was hard for him to say that. But, anytime he wants a rematch he’s down for it. THEY SHAKE HANDS, but as Taz goes to leave Sabu brings him back to raise his hand. THEY NOW HUG! And the fans turn on them But here comes RVD he nails Taz from behind, Sabu and RVD begin to argue when Taz makes it back to his feet, he goes to lock in the Tazmission but Sabu blasts him in the face with a right hand. They begin beating on Taz, with RVD hitting 7 different leg drops and Sabu coming in with a chair and hitting him with the Arabian facebuster. RVD pulls him to the floor where Sabu puts Taz through a table with a botched dive (first the chair gave way, then the table broke when RVD was putting him on it, then on the dive Sabu caught his leg on the top rope ) SABU PUTS ON THE TAZMISSION AS FONZIE JUST STANDS THERE WATCHING! HE GETS IN HE RING AND TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT TO REVEAL A TEAM TAZ SHIRT, HE THEN TAKES THAT OFF AND HAS A TEAM SABU SHIRT ON! AMAZING! Fonzie then grabs the mic and yells, Taz I taught you everything I knew, I own you Taz. I’m the winner here and Taz cost him a lot of money here tonight. He had all his money on Taz. Does he know Taz won right? RVD gets on the mic and says all the RVD fans are winners tonight, and even the people who don't love him gotta fuckin' respect him. RVD says they can respect his family now and now that he's a PPV superstar and the other promoters want him, all the promotions can contact his man Fonzie. He knows his schedule, AND HE LOVES TO WORK MONDAYS! SO FUCKIN AWESOME

Overall: Match was pretty incredible it wasn’t 5 stars or anything, but it was what I wanted violence, hatred and more violence without being the weapons filled spot fest. The post-match antics were great too even if it doesn’t make sense. ***1/2 - ***3/4

Joey Syles welcomes his special guest color commentator for this next match, Tommy Dreamer. HOLY SHIT Beulah in this short woman suit in white WOW!

Three Way Dance: Big Stevie Cool (w/b.W.o) vs. The Sandman vs. Terry Funk
The winner goes on the face Raven for the ECW championship; Sandman’s entrance just isn’t the same without Enter Sandman, I almost wanted to fast forward this repug network song. I can’t be the only one who finds it hilarious that the fans pat and rub Sandman’s beer belly as he walks around ringside. It’s hard to piece this together as in write everything down, not because it’s going a million miles per second. But it’s just a huge hardcore violent bout. The majority of the match is used with all three men beating the shit out of the other two guys with a ladder. At one point, MOTHERFUCKIN’ FUNK MOONSAULTS OFF THE TOP MISSING STEVIE, AND WHEN I SAY MISSES STEVIE THE ONLY THING HE GOT WAS HIS HAND also Sandman bringing a steel trash can wrapped in steel is great but hilarious, anyway about 15 minutes of pure violence, Sandman and Funk connects with a double team powerbomb eliminating Stevie Richards. Funk and Sandman just stare at one another before shaking and the fight is on. Sandman has barbed wire but the streamers are tangled up in it. Funk grabs a hold of it and begins whipping Sandman in the back with it, HOLY SHIT! Sandman counters with a metal sheet to the head and proceeds to wrap himself in the barbed wire. He charges at Funk, before connecting with a leg drop off the top for two. Stevie pops up on the apron distracting Sandman long enough for Funk to place a trashcan on Sandman’s head and Stevie connects with the Stevie kick. Sandman is out cold and Funk nails him with the moonsault off the top for the win.

Overall: Overall: Man as much flaws as this, mainly it being 19 minutes long it’s so much fun dude. Just seeing a 53-year-old bump and sell like Terry is great, Sandman being drunk but also on his game and not botching while being drunk bravo. Oh, and Stevie was there too. If hey would have shaved this in half or at least 5 minutes off because it was an elimination match it would have been better. **1/2 - **3/4

ECW World Heavyweight Championship: Terry Funk vs. Raven
Raven doesn’t even wait for Funk to get to his feet before nailing him with the title belt to the head. Drop toe-hold onto the steel chair, Raven then nails him in the head with it busting Funk wide open. Blooding is pouring out like a running tap, and the ref calls for a doctor to come out. Ref allows the 53-year-old man to continue and Raven just methodically beats the shit out of him, again the doctor tries to check on Funk but this time, Raven pulls him out to the floor and drops the table onto Funk. He places Funk onto the table and does his leaping dive through him. Raven nails the doctor and Raven calls for his squad. Some thot that is built like the cool-aid man hits the worse piledriver or powerbomb I’ve ever seen on Funk, they go to put up three tables below the Eagle's Nest announce area. Raven says he's going to end the comeback right in front of Tommy, AND TOMMY GETS UP TO STOP IT, BUT BIG DICK DUDLEY RETURNS AND ATTACKS TOMMY! HE TRIES THE CHOKESLAM, BUT TOMMY SHOVES HIM DOWN THROUGH THE TABLE! TOMMY TAKES OUT THE NEW NEST MEMBERS! Raven challenges him, and he comes down. TOMMY DDTS RAVEN, AND FUNK COVERS, BUT RAVEN KICKS OUT! Funk then counters the Evan Flow into a quick cradle to win and the title. THE 53 YEAR OLD BOYHOOD DREAM HAS COME TRUE.

Overall: This is a short masterpiece everything up to the shitty me flock debut was great if they would have given it maybe 2 or 3 minutes more to get a real finish instead of the cradle because it looks like they were told we have to end it now. I might have it as one of my favorite matches in ECW history. Also, a 53-year-old funk just had a fight for a grand total of 26/27 minutes. God bless you, Funk. ***

 

[Deezy]

I'm disappointed for not gif'ing Team Taka playing air guitar with a motherfucker.

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 208
April 14th, 1997
Philadelphia Pennsylvania

The show opens up with a clip from the Terry Funk banquet.

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show; he thanks, everyone that supported them and thanks, everyone that bought the PPV. But for those who couldn’t because of TV providers. He announces they’ll be back Sunday, August 17th, 1997.

Clips air of the Pitbulls/Douglas feud, we then get still images of the match from the PPV.

Rick Rude joins Joey at the commentary booth or table, IDK What they call it. Rude says April 13th has come and gone and you can’t always get what you want. He says he wanted Douglas to lose the title but he didn’t, he also wanted Shane and Francine to be splitsville, well, she’s got one foot in Brian Lee’s bed and the other on a banana peel He says he got what he needed and what he needed was to fuck with the franchise, and one more thing he need to do it to let you know there's more in store.

Awesome Video package on the Eliminators air it’s basically a 2/3 minute video of them getting their shit in. Still images of the tag titles match air’s while Joey voices over it.

Images are shown of the Three-Way-Watch along with the Raven/Terry Funk match.

Recap of the Taz/Sabu feud airs along with images of the Grudge Match Of The Century; oh and the awesome post-match stuff.

Backstage: Bill Alfonso cuts a promo on how he bet every penny he had on Sabu because he knew when Sabu put him through that table, Taz you weren’t man enough (wait, didn’t he say at the PPV say he bet all his money on Taz? Also didn’t Taz just win the match so that kinda does make him man enough? GOD DAMMIT) He then goes on to say he taught him everything he knows, and how Taz was a loser before he met him. He then says “How am I going to pay for my expenses” wat? How am I gonna pay for all my exports? You owe me, buddy, he’s going to wipe his ass with him. TAZ, I HATE YOU! RVD and Sabu make a run in to calm him down, RVD says What’s the matter? Taz what, how about hostility? Are you coming after us? Brother, Candido, you want some, check this out. Anybody that wants RVD and Sabu, you talk to this man. Mr. Bill Alfonso. We’re now taking bookings for any Friday and Saturday nights. Oh, and by the way I’m now negotiating Monday Nights because I can do that.

Taz is in a dark room; he says Sabu thank you. Thank you for being the bitch I knew you were. I loved it, I told you I was gonna bust you up, and he did. He told you he was gonna hook his hold and choke him out, and he did. He says being the consummate athlete, he extended his hand, and Sabu hoodwinked him. He loved it. He says he gave him a reason now and fueled his fire more, and then his puppet came out with his long little prissy hair and he nails him from behind. He says he's so anxious to work Mondays, because when he gets done with him, he'll be there quicker than he thought. He says Fonzie thinks he got one over on him, but he done fucked up, brother. He says he's never needed anyone, the wrestlers, the fans, Team Taz. He says all he needs is Sabu, to keep him going. He says he's a Sherman tank, and Sabu is his fuel, and he's going to savor Fonzie. He's gonna let him watch him tear up two guys who he thinks have his back and says they don't even have each other's backs. He says he loves games. Let's play.

Joey Styles gives us some life story about him living his dream.

PAUL HEYMAN CUTS A PROMO THANKING THE FANS.

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 209
April 21st, 1997
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The show opens with Ravishing Rick Rude backstage cutting a promo, he says Shane Douglas thinks he found his never, never land. His someplace over the rainbow, just to enter the wicked witch of the west. Rude claims the Triple Threat is splitsville and Brian Lee has the hots for Francine, and vice versa. He says Shane can't click his heels three times and make it all okay.

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show, he gives us a rundown of the Douglas/Rude stuff from the PPV. We then cut to a pre-tape interview with Shane and Francine. The camera zooms in on her tits as Douglas says “you’d loved to have her, buy you're not man enough to take her” the camera zooms out and Shane is holding the TV title. He says what pains Rude the most is not what he sees in an ECW ring, it’s in fact when he closes his eyes and every night has nightmares because he 6 years ago would have been man enough to have, but he's not man enough to take, and he flexes and says it's something Rick Rude used to have, but he's not man enough to show any more. He says Rick Rude has nightmares about how he's lost everything and is a shell of himself, fifty pounds lighter, gold was gone, and three inches shorter. He says he's a man, and Rick Rude is just like a woman, good for nothing.

Joey Styles talks shit about WCW before, showing us still of Funk winning the title.

In a pre-tape; Raven is laying on a bench. He says they took everything I have. They took the woman I love, the nest I built. The cult I developed. The following I have met and the devotion I controlled. I had no remorse, I had no guilt. I had no conscience and no I truly have nothing. He says he has nothing left to live for, except to take Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer with me, Stevie Richards. Come back Stevie Richards, you’re welcome. You’re wanted. I’m proud of you Stevie, it’s time for one more mission. It’s time to burn this place to the ground. Stevie Richards all is forgiven. It’s time to come home. Vulture Brother, forevermore.

Stevie Richards is in some guys basement with TV monitors and old tapes, he says me to forgive you? NEVER! And says every victory he gets is a victory over people like Raven, who used him and laughed at him and never believed in him.

Joey talks about having footage of an incident with Chris Candido that they can't legally air yet, so he throws it to a match instead. Before that, he shows clips of JT Smith's return at the Barely Legal pre-show to help Chetti against the FBI, but says it was for one night. Since then, the FBI have put out a contract on Chetti.

Spike Dudley & Chris Chetti vs. Full Blooded Italians (w/Tommy Rich)
Little Guido and Tracy Smothers are the FBI’s, Tracy now hails from Nashville, Italy lmao that is fuckin’ amazing. This was different and a nice breath of fresh air, lots of mat work and holds early on. Spike and Chris pretty much dominate everything early on, tons of near falls and just being one step ahead. The heels finally gain control after Tommy pulls down the top rope, allowing Guido and Rich to throw spike into the metal rails. After an alright heat segment, Chetti has a hot tag and it's fine. Tommy Rich accidentally punches Little Guido, and Chetti gets a roll up for the win. Meh

Joey Styles airs the “incident with Chris Candido and Lover” Well, it’s Chris Candido and Sunny coming to the building together (Sunny doesn’t look bad) Candido's arm is still in a sling and he tells her about all these horrible things in his life like his arm and Brian Lee. RVD walks in too, and he grabs Sunny's ass Candido attacks him, and they get pulled apart. RVD says all disrespect intended, and he walks off laughing

Joey Styles says Shane and Francine are on a plane going to an undisclosed location to try and recruit a new Triple Threat member.

ECW fan cam footage shows, Chris Candido is in the middle of the ring, he cuts a promo but the audio is so terrible I can barely hear what he says. I just know he bad mouths RVD, until RVD and Sabu attack him. Wait, RVD grabs his girls ass, Candido tries to stick up for his girl but then gets beaten down 2-1. God damn heel/heel booking. Taz then comes out to clean house and clears the ring of RVD and Sabu. Alfonso has to stop Sabu from getting back in. Candido offers an honest handshake, but Taz hits a Northern Lights Suplex.

Recap of Taz’ promo from last week.

Balls Mahoney vs. Corp. Punishment
This is pretty much a Balls squash, who has pretty much come a long way from him being the one getting his ass beat against Sandman to him now being the one to get showcase matches.

In the back, Alfonso cuts a promo with Sabu and RVD. He says he hates Taz's guts and says he's a crier and he's not extreme like Sabu. He says he made Taz and put him in magazines and got his contracts. RVD says to calm down we’re all family, he then turns to the camera and says wrestling promoters, Rob Van Dam here He says while he's on camera and shows clips of his high spots He says he knows they want this on their Monday night show, and he's looking forward to taking it a bit easier. He says he's a hard worker and all but he's 26 and he doesn't want scars and bandages all over him. Sabu is mad at this, but RVD says it works for him, and he gets Fonzie and Sabu mad about Taz again. RVD is the the best

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 210
April 29th, 1997
Boston, Massachusetts

They replay the footage of last weeks Candido/Sunny/Rob Van Dam incident.

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show, he talks about another incident that has happen. But this one between Raven and Stevie Richards. He then moves on to give us a rundown of tonight's matches; Louie Spicolli vs. Chris Chetti and last night Mr. Monday Night, Rob Van Dam faced Spike Dudley; well we get to see that match in full. YAY!

Full Blooded Italians (w/Tommy Rich) vs. b.W. (w/ Thomas “The Inchworm Rodman)
The Blue Meanie & Nova are wrestling, No Stevie because of the whole Raven incident that we’ve yet to see. Before the match; Tommy Rich gets on the mic and runs down the b.W.o. I loved the pre-match introductory fuckery, and then the bell rang and they had to wrestle. It’s not horrendous or anything it’s just not what I want out of comedy gimmicks, I want jokes and fuckery no serious wrestling. But hey it’s solid for 5 to 6 minutes, Rich hits Meanie with an international object, and Smothers covers to win.

Backstage: The Eliminators cut some bum ass promo, actually it’s Perry that does it with this fake ass cracking voice. Can this guy just get concussed and find Moppy already. Oh if things aren’t bad enough these geeks then get a video highlight package.

In a pre-tape interview; Bill Alfonso is with Sabu and Rob Van Dam. He says everytime my team goes to queens, they get bamboozled by those crooked officials, by those crooked refs. Everyone knows the whole state of New York is crooked, just ask “Sammy The Bull” My guy Sabu is ready to explode, he’s gonna put people through tables. Bring them all, and New York is filthy he can’t stand it just like Taz. I CAN’T STAND TAZ! RVD then cuts him off saying, the good news is Rob Van Dam is coming to New York, and while I’m there, I’m interested in exploring other employment opportunities. I’ve already looked at the map, I’m only one hour from the tower Sabu is mad, and RVD says he, hey, hey listen I’m doing business RVD says he'll be there on the weekends, but he wants to work Mondays too.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Van Dam (w/Bill Alfonso)
God damn, I miss Walk. Such an amazing song. RVD cuts off the ring announce while he was introducing him from where he’s from to get him to say “now looking into the choice of homing to either Atlanta, Georgia or Stamford Connecticut” fuckin’ RVD This is basically an RVD showcase, he gets a ton of shit in but he’s not even close to RVD of ’98 or ’98. Still pretty green and really inexperienced, both guys take great bumps for one another, though. RVD hits the Van Daminator and poses while pinning him. Post-Match: RVD hits him with the running dropkick with the chair then Sabu comes out, and he and RVD hit Spike with the Event Omega. They’re not done and Sabu legdrops Spike through the table onto the floor. **

Joel Gertner, cuts a promo mocking Terry Funk before welcoming us to HYPE CENTRAL! He says the Beulah McGullicutty t-shirt, only $20 which is only $5 more than Terry Fink has to pay her every time Tommy goes to bed. WAY TO FUNK HER!!!! For all you geeks out there, have no fear. Much Like Beulah, the t-shirt is cheap and very easy to get. And, don’t even worry if you’re chubby because the Beulah t-shirt is extremely loose

Coming back, Tommy Dreamer is standing over Gertner and being held back. Louie Spicolli throws the Wolfpac sign up at him and laughs and says to calm down Tommy threatens to break his fingers if he keeps doing it.

Louie vs. Chetti is clipped and Tommy Dreamer cuts a promo in the back saying he doesn't like Louie and his big mouth, and he's going to get in his face now. He comes out to the ring and they fight after Louie throws up the sign again, Tommy breaks Louie's fingers and then Pillmanizes his hand in a chair. HOLY SHIT

NOW TIME FOR THE INCIDENT!

Raven is in a backroom somewhere; he says he has dealt with more pain. I have dealt with more suffering, I have to deal with more anguish than any other human. I’ve suffered at the hands of parents, friends, and every conceivable manner. I’m tired. I’m sick and tired of the hurt, the agony, and the anguish, and if my life on earth is gonna be a living hell, then I invite Tommy Dreamer, Terry Funk, and Stevie Richards to join me. YOU KNOW WHAT! FUCK THAT, FUCK THAT! I’M NOT GOING ANYPLACE FOR ANYBODY. He then calls out Stevie Richards and shoves the Blue guy out the way, he busts into the b.W.o locker room with a steel chair. He says he and I have one final mission together, Richards question it and says no to hurting Dreamer, Funk or Sandman and Raven says no you stupid idiot, I want you to take me out. And attacks Stevie. HE BEGS FOR STEVIE TO TAKE HIM OUT AND END HIS PAIN. END HIS LIFE! He then cuddles with Stevie as he repeatedly asks him to “End my pain”

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 211
May 6th, 1997
Asbury Park, New Jersey

The show opens wit Bam Bam in the crowd, Douglas is now in the ring and is shit talking him. Bam Bam says he just bought a ticket and doesn’t wrestle for ECW, in fact, he’s just here as a spectator.

Joey then shows us clips of a Gangstas vs. The Eliminators vs. The Dudley Boyz match; Jesus how many times has ECW booked this match this year? New Jack does another balcony dive, this time onto Bubba. Big Dick Dudley gets involved and somehow he's able to pin New Jack after a Chokeslam? Joey says Bubba was stretchered out after the dive, so I guess he got replaced. Anyways, The Eliminators retain with the TOTAL ELIMINATION!

Joey Styles is in the ring and welcomes us to the show; he then introduces us to his new co-host of ECW TV……”Ravishing” Rick Rude. Rude says he might never have the gift of gab like Styles, but he will be able to give the protective of a pro wrestler. And Shane Douglas, and that bitch you hang with I promise to continue to FUCK WITH THE FRANCHISE.

Clips air of Shane Douglas and Francine in the ring, and they single out Bam Bam Bigelow in the crowd, as Joey narrates over it, so we can't hear anything he says. Rude says Bam Bam has probably already eaten lunch and dessert because Douglas would only be a snack to him He says everyone saw the PPV when his own bodyguard cleaned the lint from Francine's belly button from the inside out, and Shane had nothing to do or say about it. He says he pretends everything is alright, and either Shane's one kinky cat, or he's got the balls of a mouse.

Joey Styles give us a quick rundown about Stevie before Rude takes a camera with him to get the inside scoop. RUDE CAM: Rude knocks on the BWO locker room, and can't find him, and Joey promises comments.

RUDE CAM: Blue Meenie tells Rude he just needs 5 minutes alone

Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty) vs. Corp. Punishment
Beulah is wearing all white and is looking cumtastic, god bless you, Tommy. So 10 seconds into the match we come back and Louie is attacking Dreamer with a cast on his hand, apparently, Tommy broke his hand last week. Louie puts a table up in the ring and really throws some awesome right hands to bust him open even more. Louie puts the table up slanted, AND HITS THE SPICOLLI DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! YEAH! Louie keeps throwing up the 2sweet wolfpac, because why the fuck not.

Rude makes jokes about Tommy getting hurt before making sexual innuendos about Beulah’s sweet ass, and here comes Joel says for 18 months he has watched Joey Syles be in desperate need for a co-host. And here comes Rick Rude who is looking more lately like RUBBISH! he asks Rude if he has any remarks. Rude then asks what the hell was that Joel says he knows who the newest member of the triple threat will be and it will be coming up shortly.

RUDE CAM: Meanie tries to get in the BWO locker room, but Raven is in there, and he kicks he and the camera out.

TERRY FUNK MOMENT: The Funk/Shane press conference fight.

ECW Television Championship: Balls Mahoney vs. Shane Douglas (w/Francine)
Fuckin’ Francine man, she wearing all gold and looks like she fucks like a pornstar. Douglas grabs the mic, and the first thing he tells a fan is to sit the fuck down punk. He then says, there is a typical Asbury Park Citizen, two brain cells and no fuckin way to back it up. You’re an inbred fuck he tells the crowd to shut the fuck up and learn something. Learn that he is the thoroughbred of wrestling, he says the crowd will not get to see Balls swing a chair, hell if he even comes out with a chair he’s leaving…………..HOLY SHIT! This is beyond awful Douglas may be the worse wrestler I've ever seen in terms of when to put on a match, or where to put on a match. And what to do with the time given. THIS DUMB MONTHERFUCKER STALLS FOR FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY! BALLS THEN OUT WRESTLES HIM AND WORKS THE ARM, TO WHICH SHANE NO-SELLS! Oh, Shane begins low blowing him as his offensive moves, yes, that’s right 8 low blows in a row. Oh but the fuckery doesn’t end he stops to low blow for a filler neck vice that he breaks just to head up top but, Balls low blows him and has a shitty Balls come back with no chair, out runs Candido and hits him with his own chair FOR ANOTHER DQ! IN ECFUCKIN’W AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bam Bam Bigelow hops the railing to save, and yes, of course, he turns on Balls Mahoney. They beat on Balls until the Pitbulls make the save UGH!

JESUS this show has turned to shit since the PPV. WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T YOU RUSH A SURPRISE LIKE THAT? Why not do the surprise reveal or heel turn on a credible threat, no let's use it on fuckin’ pre-crack head really over Balls. Fuckin’ Hell Paul. DUD!

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 212
May 14th, 1997
Philadelphia Pennsylvania

The show opens with clips of the Pitbulls vs. Bam Bam and Shane Douglas; this must have been from last week's show or taping or whatever cause Fran has the same gold outfit on. HOLY SHIT! Rick Rude comes out and takes Francine to the back, and it's blurred out because his face is in her ass or her tits popped out DAMMIT!

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show and again introduces his co-host, Rick Rude. Rude coming out to female stripper music is just to worse. Rude says the fans he’s been a bit hungry lately but that’s all right because he knows he could get anything he wants at Francine's restaurant (HOLY SHIT RUDE INVENTED EATING THE BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES) He says the black Angus is juicy and tender, but the red snapper is a little bit fishy. He says he gave her a really big tip, though. All in all, it was a very pleasurable dining experience and of course, just one more way for him to FUCK WITH THE FRANCHISE!

Joel Gertner and Rick Rude have another great back and forth dissing one another.

Joey and Rude hype up Taz/Candido vs. Sabu/RVD, and Tommy Dreamer vs. Louie Spicolli.

Louie Spicolli vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty)
Loool Louie is dressed as Tommy because he’s a dick. He even does the pose and the 2sweet to which, Rude says what is that? It looks like he’s trying to flick a booger off his finger. HOLY SHIT! Beulah might be the low key goat of the ‘90’s I might need to rethink my list. Louie keeps doing the Dreamer pose until Dreamer finally hits him he goes for it again but Louie blocks it with the cast he then nails Dreamer in the head with it and Tommy goes down like a ton of bricks. Louie then unwraps the heavy cast revealing it was loaded with a metal pipe (FUCKIN’ BRILLIANT) Louis proceeds to beat Tommy in and out of the ring, busting him open too. Nice little heel moment Louie grabs a plastic chair then throws it down for a metal on, back in. Tommy connects with a bulldog and hangs Louie upside down and low blows him. Running dropkick with a steel chair and Louie is busted open now. Tommy’s so pissed his rips on of Louie’s pants leg off Tommy is in full control and beats the shit out of him on the floor; They have some great stuff back in the ring and Tommy hits an Enzuiguri to for the win. Post-Match: Louie attacks Tommy from behind, AND HE HITS BEULAH WITH THE SPICOLLI DRIVER! FUCK YEAH! Great little first match, really wish they wouldn’t have bladed tho. **3/4

Rude and Styles try to sell the Louie hitting Beulah like it’s the worse thing that has ever happen in ECW then Rude ruins it by making a WCW joke about Hogans balls and Erics chin IDK shit makes no sense.

RUDE CAM: Backstage, Tommy is going back shit nuts throwing shit around. Terry Funk calms him down so people can get her to the hospital. Tommy begins to cry like he didn’t kill her with a piledriver 2 years ago.

Joel Gertner insults Rick Rude some more before doing the Rude dance

Chris Candido & Taz vs. Sabu & Rob Van Dam (w/Bill Alfonso)
RVD does the amazing cut off the ring announcer making sure he tells the fans that he is willing to relocate to Stamford or Atlanta, but not this shithole Philly Candido and Taz argue on who wants to start Taz wants Sabu bad but Candido wants RVD just as bad and all 4 brawl. But wait, Sabu and Candido. Taz/RVD pair off SWERVE! Once the match finally settles down Candido refuses to tag in Taz even when he's in full control of Sabu. Taz’ potty mouth is in full effect as he’s swearing at everyone in sight Sabu finally gets control and as he’s about to hit the double jump leg drop through Candido on a table Fonzie breaks it up and says no he wants Taz to go through the table. That gives Candido enough time to roll off and Sabu crashes and burns. Taz/RVD was pretty great, RVD uses his flexibility to out quick and frustrate Taz so Taz just drops RVD on his neck with a suplex. TAZ/SABU FIGHT! IT’S AMAZING BUT IT’S ONLY LIKE 15 SECONDS SMH. RVD tags in but as soon as Candido tags in RVD tags Sabu in who is still clutching his neck Sabu fucks up the triple jump moonsault badly Candido still refuses to tag in Taz for some reason, he misses a diving headbutt of the top going face first into the chair. The match pretty much breaks down with Candido finally getting his hands on RVD beating the shit out of him. Taz has finally had enough and kills both Sabu and RVD without the tag, but wait here comes Francine. Francine gives Candido a chain, but Taz won't let him use it, and they miscommunicate. Candido ducks under a chair throw from RVD that hits Sabu and Candido hits a beautiful Bridging German to win. Post-Match: Taz and Sabu fight on the floor going into commercial. **3/4

RVD is still in the ring and is pissed, he says it's not bad enough that he has to work his ass off in this shitty place. In front of all you losers. But, I got to get pinned. Fuck that, There's something really wrong with that. You can't’ tell me that wouldn't happen where RVD was working where belonged, and everyone knows. Rob Van Dam doesn’t belong wrestling in front of 1,200 drunken screaming idiots. I’ve got millions and millions of fans all over the earth requesting his presence. AND THE SHOW JUST ENDS MID-PROMO SMH.

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 213
May 19th, 1997
Buffalo, New York

So over the week ECW had a show in Buffalo, get ready for clips and highlights UGH! The opens up with clips of the Shane Douglas taking on Chris Chetti; Douglas is hobbling so hopefully he’s hurt and can’t wrestle for the rest of the year because no way he’s that good of a seller anymore. Douglas wins, who cares.

Joey Styles and Rick Rude welcome us to the ECW debut show in Buffalo; talk about the matches and angles. Same old, same old.

Taz vs. Spike Dudley
So this was great for pretty much a showcase, god bless spike in squash matches. Nobody takes a beating like him. Taz even lets him get some real good offensive moves in before locking him in with the Tazmission for the win.

Highlights of the Buffalo show I guess; Pitbulls entrance, Ball murdering someone with a chair, Sandmans’ entrance and Tommy rolling down a flight of stairs. Fonzie hating the ECW chants, lol another 3-way tag titles match.

Chris Candido is backstage he talks about seeing RVD on Raw; he says it was obvious he was just there to get closer to his girl. But after he thought about it, that’s not it. Its because he fits in it’s because he’s an asshole.

Rick Rude says RVD may be heading to the WWF and he should bring himself a tube of KY Jelly because the going’s gonna get rough.

Raven says Jim Morrison never sold out, Janis Joplin never sold out, Kurt Cobain never sold out, but in the 90s, it's all the rage to sell out to corporate America. So when one of your ECW superstars abandons the promotion to work on Monday nights, he feels their pain. When someone who's spilled their lifeblood for this company leaves for personal and financial gain, he feels their pain. He asks how RVD could leave like that, and starts smirking.

The Pitbulls are mad at RVD for leaving and Pitbull #2 says to bring Sabu back with him, so they can fuck him out of the sky. What?

The Sandman smokes and puts down his beer can and says; he'd give up cigarettes, and he'd come to work sober, just to get the chance to get Rob Van Dam in the ring for 5 minutes.

Bill Alfonso says he loves Vince McMahon.

Terry Funk says he doesn’t want to talk bout it but being the ECW he has too, he's been everywhere in the world, he loves his freedom to go freely, but when Rob Van Dam began associating with those people, he gave away the freedom that individuals have in ECW, and became one of 100 other mass products that Vince McMahon puts out.

Shane Douglas says WWF stands for We Want Franchise, but they can't have him, so they took Van Dam

Spike is mad and is trying to cause a riot by himself.

Louie Spicolli says if Rob Van Dam goes to the WWF again, he asks him to say hi to Shawn and Hunter for him

Tommy Dreamer says RVD is a traitor now, and he sold out.

Buh Buh says RVD is a piece of crap, you wanna wrestle on Monday nights. Terry Funk is an old piece of crap, The Sandman is a drunk piece of crap, The Pitbulls are pieces of crap from Philadelphia, The Gangstas are pieces of crap, and The Eliminators? Pieces of crap who stole their belts. Tommy Dreamer? The Innovator of Craps.

The Eliminators don't care about where RVD wrestles, but Saturn says he only cares about that RVD used their hard work as a stepping stone.

The FBI argues, and Tracy accidentally calls him Rob Van Ham. Tommy Rich thinks they're talking about Jean Claude Van-Damme

Bill Alfonso says with RVD working everywhere, he's almost made up all the money Taz lost him at Barely Legal (Again does he knows Taz won right)

Francine says she’s done a lot of things for money, but what he did she would never do.

Beulah says RVD has no idea how much heat he was with the company, she busted her ass and he has the nerve to sell out. And when he backs down he will burn.

Balls says when he sees RVD again he’s gonna bash his head in.

Tod Gordon says RVD is a shrewd businessman, and he's positioned himself where he can make more money in ECW because people want to see him get his ass kicked, but it won't happen because he suspends Van Dam indefinitely from ECW.

Terry Funk & Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty) vs. Stevie Richards & Raven (w/Lupus & Chastity)
Tommy and Funk get the better of Stevie in the early going, Raven looks disinterested and even jumps off the apron when Dreamer extends Stevie's hand to tag him. Funk shoves Stevie into Ravens corner and Raven grabs the mic and yells at Stevie if he's gonna fight like a man or like a pussy Raven tells him to go kick his old ass, but Stevie just tags in Raven. Raven circles before tagging in Stevie again, but this time he jumps off the apron so he can’t get tagged in. Thankfully the match breaks down into a huge brawl, Raven does his dive over the top crashing though Funk who was placed on a table. Stevie and Dreamer are already in the crowd brawling, they continue to brawl as we go to a commercial. When we get back the match has turned back into a traditional tag match. Raven and Stevie are in control after a piledriver on Funk, they work on Funk’s neck, Dreamer does the Blue argue with the ref which allows Stevie to nail Funk in the leg with a chair, then Raven throws him twice into the already broken table. Dreamer again busts in but Stevie has Ravens back and takes him out. Stevie then applies some weak leg lock to which Raven grabs the mic the yells “how the fuck are you gonna beat him with that? Tag me back in, idiot” He tags Raven in who connects with the Evan Flow and he goes after the knee now Dreamer has again seen enough and brawls with Raven on the floor. Stevie goes for Funks own spinning toe hold, but Raven stops him and hits the DDT. Raven applies the spinning toe hold but Dreamer breaks it up by school boying Raven for two, ref bump leads to Tommy connecting with the DDT. Here comes Louie in a Beulah t-shirt Tommy low blows him, and Raven take him. Funk tries to fight Louie but Louie and hoists him up for the DVD, but Stevie hits the Steve Kick and pins Terry Funk. Good match, meh ending but I guess it’s was one of those angle advancement match for the week. **1/2 - **3/4

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 214
May 26th, 1997
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The show opens with Taz murdering two jobbers. He then gets on the mic and calls himself the BADDEST MOTHERFUCKER IN PRO-WRESTLING!

Joey Styles and Rick Rude welcome us to the show, Joey talks about RVD being suspended as Rude calls him Rob Van Ham he then wonders what Sabu thinks about all this. Styles lets us know RVD and Sabu are in Japan and the rumor says they've been having problems. Styles then lets us know Sabu will be making his return on the 7th of June in Philly.

A recap airs of last week's tag team match. Joey announces Terry Funk vs. Stevie Richards for the ECW Title on June 7th at the ECW Arena.

Stevie Richards cuts a fuckin 10-minute promo about growing up in Philly, being a geek, wanting to be a wrestler, ending Raven’s pain and hurting Terry Funk.

Blue Meanie, Hollywood Nova cut a promo saying if Stevie thinks he’s gonna win the title and leave the b.W.o behind the Blue Guy thinks not.

Joel Gertner hypes up this weekend's show and says if anyone dares to slap him bring it. Rude says he will be there.

The Dudley Boyz (w/Joel Gertner) vs. Spike Dudley & Mikey Whipwreck
Joel Gertner says he taught Marv Albert everything he knows about announcing, and Marv taught him everything he knows about lovemaking. It's okay to nibble, it really is. He calls himself now the simply ravishing studmuffin, The International Man of Mystery, Joel "Not Conceited, Just Convinced" Gertner. The Dudleys are now introduced as the Former Intercontinental United States Television and the Western States Heritage Tag Team Champions. Spike comes out with a chair and drops it because I guess he doesn’t need a weapon This is Mikey’s return from his knee injury, Buh Buh kills spike right out the gate with brute press slams, Spike and Mikey uses speed and high flying to rattle the Dudleyz. But at one point, Mikey overthrows Spike and he totally misses Buh Buh on the floor The Dudleyz then isolates Mikey working over his back, Buh Buh then throws Mikey into his own corner so Spike tags it. Okay, So I guess this is Spike hot tag but he runs into a BubbaBomb for two. Dudleyz work over Spikes' neck now and Spike’s bumping is great. Unfortunately, it ended pretty quickly after Mikey's hot tag. He gets hit with a chair, and Spike is then beaten with the 3D. Post-Match: Mikey attacks them with chair shots in revenge, and Big Dick Dudley comes out. He doesn't go down, and Chokeslams Mikey. They beat on Mikey with a 3 on 1 and take out jobbers when they try to save. Balls Mahoney runs out with a chair and hits Bubba and D-Von with it. He hits Big Dick twice, but he stays vertical, and a third chair shot knocks Big Dick down to the floor. **1/2


Rude says Balls is on a ROLL! What

Balls Mahoney is still in the ring and says he drove all the way from Jersey but nobody wants to get in the ring with him and asks anybody to come give him a match. Balls says there's one guy who has balls as big as his, and pulls out a can of beer and says if he can beat him, he can have it, and this brings out The Sandman.

The Sandman vs. Balls Mahoney
Sandman's entrance is so goat the way people go insane just to touch him, he downs the beer and spits it all other this pretty thot’s white shirt and she just looks horrified at the whole thing. Then he kicks the fans out the way because they are blocking his pathway to the floor. God bless this man. Balls puts the can of beer in the middle of the ring; he still has the chair and Balls still has his cain. The ref picks up the beer and holds it up to the crowd and the wrestlers like they do in a title match lmao AMAZING! Balls hits a chair shot before Sandman can use the cane, so he takes control. Balls uses the chair as a tag partner first placing it on sandman’s face for a leg drop then places on Sandman’s chest with an elbow drop. Sandman is now busted open not only on the forehead that he did himself but the back of his head too. Balls continues to beat the shit out of him, but when he tries to use the cane, it ends up costing him. Sandman comes back and knocks him out of the ring with several cane shots. The Dudley Boyz then run out to attack Balls Mahoney for the no contest or DQ IDK anymore. The Sandman tries to save, but also gets beat up. Tommy Dreamer runs out to save, but then Louie Spicolli comes out to get him. Terry Funk is brought out and then Stevie, they all brawl leaving Terry and Stevie alone in the ring, and Stevie lays out Terry Funk with the Stevie Kick, and poses over him to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 215
June 1st, 1997

The show opens with Joey Styles telling us that Stevie Richards has suffered an injury sending ECW into disarray. He has been pulled from this Saturday's main event, Rude says he knows what that like and feels sorry for him. Because his career was cut short due to a neck injury, oh Stevie injured his neck by the way. Styles tells us the man replacing him will be Chris Candido. Joey then says the winners of Dudleys vs. Sandman/Balls and the winners will face The Eliminators, in the same night. But that, not it...THE FINAL BATTEL! It’s Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer, Rude says he thinks if Dreamer is able to pin him. Raven might leave forever :hm: BUT WE’RE NOT DONE! TAZ/SABU II WAT?

Clips air of Funk/Stevie/Sandman/Raven match. It mostly Stevie/Funk interactions, because they gotta build a match that isn’t happening anymore.

Backstage: Chris Candido cuts a promo; he fakes cries about Stevie being injured. He says he’s been hurt before. He broke his neck, he says his arm was in a sling and he missed Barely Legal, but nobody cried for him, even though Chris Candido was the one who brought ECW to PPV. He calls Stevie a moron and idiot for following Rave. He's going to beat Terry Funk and his shot at Barely Legal should have been his, and he's going to take him out just for the fun of it. He says he's still mad at Terry for beating his grandpa in Madison Square Garden and says Terry Funk is all luck, just like when he subbed in for his idiot brother in 1975 and pulled one over on Jack Brisco. He says he beat 3 guys in one night for the NWA Title, so he's better than Terry Funk ever was. He then calls Funk and old crippled bastard.

Joey Styles hypes up the Sabu/Taz feud, lol Fonzie he might be the dumbest man ever. So he use to manage Taz but he bet all his money on Sabu to win, so he turns on Taz and joins the man that Taz just choked out At least he gets RVD too.

In a dark room somewhere, Taz says it's he says he has Sabu one more time, and the first time, it was about who the better man was. He showed him and everyone that he was the better man when he made him quit. Now, this Saturday, it's going to happen again, but he doesn't care if he wins or loses because he's in it to choke his skinny ass out. Because he wants to and because he can, he stuck his hand out, stupid move on his part, but on Saturday, the only handshaking is gonna be when the ref checks him when he getting choked out. IT’S ASSKICKING TIME, SABU. AND FONZY, YOU TOO, BROTHER. I’M CHOKING YOU OUT! I’M GONNA CHOKE YOU THE FUCK OUT! YOU DONE ME WRONG I’M GONNA DO YOU WRONG!

Taz & The Eliminators(w/ Chris Candido) vs. Sabu, Rob Van Dam & D-Von Dudley (w/Bubba Ray Dudley, Big Dick Dudley, Joel Gertner & Bill Alfonso)
Joel Gertner is eating KFC during the whole The match starts off with the Eliminators double superkicking Big Dick twice and Taz Germans suplexs him taking him out of the ring. After a fair bit of stalling before this gets going. D-Von/Perry is pretty shit, but Perry/Sabu is fun. Kronus ruins it by being alive, though. This whole pairing up is pretty much filler until the match breaks down and brawling begins. The match picks up a ton, as It’s just spots and counter spots, we also get the interference that leads to Candido brawling with RVD...BUT FUCK THAT! TAZ/SABU TEASE AND THEY TOUCH Taz gets the better, minutes later Total Elimination on D-Von ends it. Good, fun spot heavy match. **1/2

HARDCORE HEAVEN 1997: AUGUST 17TH! LIVE ON PPV!

​

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 216
June 10th, 1997
Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Joey Styles is in the ring and welcomes us to WRESTLEPALOOZA 1997. But wait, he is cut off by some smurf named Sunny Wright. He's in the locker room with the Eliminators; this guy says all the rumours on the internet are true. Perry’s right leg is completely destroyed (way to go smurf, thanks for telling us what the injury is) perry says and? He says he tore his ACL, tore his Meniscus. I cracked my tibia, fractured my kneecap. It doesn’t matter if we’re both in the ring or once of us we’re still the best tag team in the world Styles says the Eliminators are going to hand over the tag titles this week, and it’s expected to go to the Dudley Boyz who beat the Sandman and Balls.

Joel Gertner is with the Dudleyz out in the parking lot or some empty building, D-Von says that though he walks through the valley of the shadow of death, he has compassion for Brother Perry Saturn. Blessed is he who risks life, limb, and salvation to pass the Dudley Boyz into total elimination, and they mock how The Eliminators keep yelling TOTAL ELIMINATION! Buh Buh says it’s too bad you can’t hit your move anymore, he then says Perry is as about useless as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. It's a matter of time until they hand them their asses and take those belts back. Bubba then commands Big Dick to go steal them a Buick and tells Joel to finish this up.

The Final Battel: Raven (w/Chastity & Lupus) vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty)
HUGE YOU SOLD OUT CHANT directed towards Raven. Beulah is wearing this amazing low cut business suit jacket showing off here cleavage, it’s amazing. The match starts with Raven trying to run out of the building without having a match but Dreamer catches him, they proceed to brawl throw the crowd as Raven throws Dreamer off some steps and through the merch table. Raven then tries to piledriver Dreamer through a table but it doesn’t break instead it just slides away and both men crash hard on the concrete floor. They brawl to where the old commentary table use to be where Raven tries to piledrive Dreamer through a table, but Dreamer counters with a backdrop not breaking the table. Dreamer then tries to splash him but Raven moves and Tommy crashes through it. They finally brawl back to ringside; as we get a shot of Douglas and Fran sitting in the crowd loving it. Dreamer bulldogs Raven on the floor busting him open as they go back into the crowd. Raven pushing Tommy off the Eagles' Nest ladder into a vending machine and then to the floor. Back in the ring, finally Raven does the drop toe hold and Dreamer just gets killed on it. They fight up top but Raven shoves Dreamer off the top onto a folding chair, they then fight over a sign aka a metal stop sign. Dreamer then piledrives Raven onto it but Louie breaks it up, leading to Beulah giving him a DDT. Raven tries to convince Beulah to take him back but Tommy low blows him and school boys him for two CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! Raven pulls off Beulah and puts his head on her chest like he wants to reconciliation She low blows him into a Dreamer DDT for two, Tommy goes for one more but Raven shoves him into the ref taking him out. Tommy hits another but here comes Louie. He hits Dreamer with a DDT and places Raven on top, the ref comes around but Dreamer kicks out at two. Dreamer fights off Louie and hits another DDT, but walks into a Raven DDT for two. Dreamer counters a DDT into the DVD and begins to trash talk him. RAVEN SLOWLY GETS UP AND DREAMER YELLS EC FUCKIN’ W AND PLANTS RAVEN WITH ANOTHER DDT THIS TIME ON THE STEEL SIGN AND PINS HIM FOR THREE. FUCK YEAH!

ALL OF A SUDDEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT; THEY COME BACK ON, AND RVD AND FONZIE ARE THERE AND RVD HITS THE VAN DAMINATOR! RVD is wearing a Monday Night Raw t-shirt RVD taunts too long allowing Dreamer to make a comeback but as soon as he does the lights go out again. THEY COME BACK ON! AND SABU THROWS A CHAIR IN DREAMERS FACE! Louie holds Beulah back, and Raven gets up. He pushes RVD and Sabu off, but then looks at Tommy, AND RAVEN WALKS OUT OF THE RING AND OUT OF ECW! They keep on Dreamer in a 2 on 1, but he comes back off of a whip, AND HITS A DOUBLE DDT! THE LIGHTS GO OUT A THIRD TIME!

JERRY THE FUCKIN KING LAWLER IS IN THE RING! DREAMER IS PISSED AND TRIES TO RUN AT HIM BUT RVD and SABU Stop him and hold him to the ground. Lawler has a mic but the audio is so shit I can’t hear him. Axl Rotten and Chris Chetti run in from the back, but RVD and Sabu immediately take them out and protect the King. Meanie and Nova try and also go down, and the same goes for Guido and other lower mid card guys. Lawler asks if this is the big time ECW, and RVD hits someone else with a chair. "THIS BINGO HALL OUGHTA BE BUILT OUT OF TOILET PAPER, BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING IN IT BUT SHIT!" RVD takes out Balls Mahoney and Lawler says he's Mr. Monday Night, and asks if they've got anybody tough. Alfonso calls out Shane Douglas to try and stop it, but he gets on the mic and says he's got no part of this bullshit, he's got nothing to prove and to kick all the asses they want. Lawler says Extremely Crappy Wrestling doesn't have anyone tough and nobody wants a war with him. THE GANGSTAZ COME OUT BUT RVD AND SABU MURDER THEM Lawler taunts Tommy on the mat and says to kill the crap. Lawler asks where Paul E is, and points at Beulah and says to look at the slut. TOMMY TACKLES LAWLER, BUT RVD IMMEDIATELY CUTS HIM OFF WITH ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT! Lawler starts killing Dreamer with the greatest punches I’ve ever seen. BUT NOW THE SANDMAN RUNS OUT! HE POPS A BEER, BUT IT ALLOWS SABU TO TAKE HIM DOWN TOO RVD hits him with the Van Daminator, and Sabu holds Tommy for Lawler to punch. Lawler asks if that's all they've got, AND TAZ COMES OUT! Sabu wants to fight him, but RVD, Fonzie, and Lawler get him to leave, and they all bail. GREATEST ECW ANGLE AND MOMENT EVER! HOLY SHIT!

WE GO TO A COMMERICAL!

Shane taunts TAZ saying to calm down he did a good job and ran the fuckers off, Taz then says listen brotha don’t ever interrupt him while he’s talking. We ain’t tight, yeah point at yourself mind your business and go fuck your little rat HOLY SHIT! HE THEN CALLS OUT RVD AND SABU!

Taz vs. Sabu (w/Bill Alfonso)
Fonzie runs his mouth but as soon as Taz grabs him outcomes Sabu and the bell rings; Sabu gets the better early with punches and kicks. Taz takes over with a sweet corner Alabama slam, he begins to cross face Sabu trying to break his nose just like he did at the PPV Sabu dropkicks Taz at he knee taking him out of the ring, Sabu then allows Taz to walk all around ring before hitting him with a baseball slide. Sabu looks like he’s about to hit a running suicide dive but instead connects with a springboard asie moonsault. Back in, Sabu gets a series of two falls. He then goes for the triple jump moonsault but fucks up and crotches himself on the top rope lmao Taz t-bones him but is too tired to cover, northern lights suplex gets another two. Holy shit TAZ goes up top but misses a senton splash, allowing Sabu to recover and hit him with a legdrop off the top for two. Fonzi throws a table in, they fight for control with Sabu hitting him with a low blow and a DDT. Sabu sets up the table and places Taz on it. He heads up top and hits a switch in mid-air splash through it. Both men are slow to get up with Taz sitting behind Sabu, Taz gets the Tazmission, but Sabu uses Taz’s own momentum against him pinning him. Taz still has the Tazmission applied as the ref breaks it up and the announcement is made of Sabu winning. Referees have to pull Taz off of the hold, SO TAZ CHOKES OUT A REFEREE! GERMAN SUPLEX TO ANOTHER! Joey says that's his first loss since September 1995, AND TAZ CHOKES OUT THE THIRD REF! TAZ GETS FONZIE AND PUTS HIM IN THE TAZMISSION! TAZ CHOKES HIM OUT TOO!

Joey Styles tells us that during the break; Douglas told Taz to get out of the ring, Taz tells Shane to shut up I can choke you out in 5 minutes or less, Shane says yeah. Shane says make it 3 minutes or less and I’ll put the TV title on the line, but it you can’t you don’t get the title and you have to leave ECW for 45 days. The whole time Styles is yelling at us, Rude tries to take notes of what just happen but gives up after 5

ECW Television Championship: Taz vs. Shane Douglas (w/Francine)
So yeah, if Taz wins in 3 minutes he gets the belt. If not he doesn’t, no belt and is gone for 45 days. Douglas goes to the eyes early and begins to whip Taz with the TV title. Douglas goes to work on Taz neck, which is the smart thing. He hits a swinging neckbreaker and a DDT then follows up with a nasty neck whip. He applies a full nelson but Taz counters, but Shane counters that with a low blow. Then out of nowhere Taz locks in the Tazmission with a minute left, he finally gets him down and with 15 seconds left Douglas tries to Bret/Austin survivor series finish with Shane running up the ropes or what Sabu just did and try to use Taz’s own momentum against him but Taz doesn’t move and gets him back to the mat and Douglas taps out. FUCK YEAH! Taz celebrates and the show goes off the air.

GREATEST 40 MINUTES IN ECW HISTORY!

 

[Crippler]

​

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Taz
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 217
June 16th, 1997
Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Taz is in a dark room, with orange lighting. He yells out Sabu, Van Dam, Lawler, Sandman, Dreamer, Franchise, McHahon and my buddy Paul Heyman. Even though he’s the new ECW World Television Champion and it might get me fired. I don’t give a damn about anyone of you, because in a little while. I’m gonna tell you the truth about Wrestlepalooza 1997.

Joey Styles and Rick Rude welcome us to the show; we then the footage of Dreamer finally pinning Raven than the AMAZING WWF invasion angle all the way up to Taz running them off.

Joey Styles tells us we will see the Dudleyz being rewarded the ECW Tag Tiles and the match that saw Perry destroy his leg. Rude says this thing began with RVD and Sabu, they were the one that damaged this place and it’s time for some to get even with them.

RUDE CAM: Tommy is getting the back of his head stitched up, Dreamer says this was the highlight of his career, he finally pinned Raven. He thanks, Van Dam and Sabu and says God blesses Jerry Lawler because now he doesn't just have something to die for, he has something to live for, and that's a piece of his fucking ass.

Pictures air of Tommy Dreamer invading a USWA TV show in Memphis, oh and the pictures of ECW invading RAW. Joey Styles talks about the war that's been kicked off, and says nobody in the Memphis locker room had the guts to stop Tommy Dreamer and Jerry Lawler wasn't there, which was followed by their boss Paul E. going on WWF television and saying that Jerry Lawler is Brian Christopher's father, and says this is all Rob Van Dam's fault. Rude says he came back here to call ECW, and he chose ECW specifically, and he doesn't want to talk about shit like Jerry Lawler when he can talk about men like The Sandman and Tommy Dreamer and hell, even Shane Douglas. Rude says if Lawler wants to shoot, the combined age of Lawler's last two girlfriends is 24, but he wants to talk about ECW.

A pre-tape interview airs; Jerry Lawler is in front of a green screen. He says he has something he needs to say. He says if Paul wants to shoot with him, they can tell it like it is. He says wants everyone in this organization and all these sick, degenerate, supposed fans to know what the story is, and says some of ECW's wrestlers like Rob Van Dam came to work in the WWF, and some of those fans chanted "YOU SOLD OUT!" He says it's time to smarten everyone up and says Paul's the one trying to sell out, and he can help him do it by saying the word to Vince McMahon, and says he can get him a job in the WWF where everyone really wants to work. He says Paul and his organization isn't a pimple on the ass of the WWF and they know it and asks if Paul wants to keep shooting now. He says he came to see ECW and he saw 1500 shitbags and homeless perverts crawling in off the street and says those aren't fans to be proud of. He says ECW is has-beens like Funk or never-will-bes’ like Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman, that degenerate dope addict. He says to get ready, and they're playing now.

HARDCORE HEAVEN PPV: AUGUST 17TH 1997

Taz vs. Sabu airs again, followed by Taz/Shane.

Taz is still in his dark room; He says he makes a former NWA, Intercontinental, ECW TV and ECW World Champion tap out in under three minutes, because he could and because he wanted to. He says he brags about snapping necks at will, but he taps out in under three minutes because ECW is about wrestling. Violence and competition and aggressiveness, and all of that stuff, that's what it's about. He asks who gives a fuck who Lawler's kid is or about RVD wanting to jump. He asks why ECW wants to stop Van Dam and says to let him go. Taz says this war is stupid and a waste of time by Tommy, Sandman, and Paul E. He says they don't need PPV because you need to experience ECW and Taz live, and asks if Vince wants him now if he wants ECW now. He says he can't have either, not as long as he holds a title in ECW because he represents this company on TV. As long as he has this belt, ECW won't go down. He says he cares about this belt now and challenges anyone in the world to step up to the plate. BEAT ME IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF I LET YOU.

Before the Tag Title match, D-Von gets on the mic and tells Brother Gertner to testify. He says he has good and great news. First, 2-0 RED WINGS, END OF THE THIRD PERIOD, BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR. In better news, the moment of truth has arrived. Tod Gordon comes out and says they both know that Perry Saturn has a severe leg injury and a torn ACL and a broken tibia and has surgery on Tuesday. He says he'll be out for one year lmao he, unfortunately, has to ask The Eliminators to come out and surrender the titles. They come out and Kronus is ready, but Saturn is in a knee brace and on crutches in his street clothes. Saturn says they knew here tonight, they probably were going to lose the belts, but if they want the belts, they've gotta beat them to win them!

ECW Tag Team Championship: The Eliminators vs. The Dudley Boyz (w/Joel Gertner, Big Dick Dudley, & Sign Guy Dudley)
This is terrible, it’s mostly Kronus in the ring. Saturn gets involved with some stuff but keeps hurting the leg. Kronus fights on his own and his offense is terrible. I can see why he never got anywhere outside ECW. Saturn hits the Flying Elbow with one leg and fuckin’ pins D-Von wat? why? Saturn has to be stretchered out to end the show. WHO GIVES A FUCK!

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Taz
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 218
June 25th, 1997
Boston, Massachusetts

The show opens with the Dudleyz already in the ring as The Eliminators make their way down, Joey tells us that Perry who is in street clothes just had knee surgery a week ago. And this match will be a 2-1 match; for the tag titles. Joey says Saturn is being banned from wrestling again, so Kronus has to defend the titles by himself! BUT SATURN BREAKS HIS CRUTCH OVER BIG DICK'S HEAD!

Gertner presents him with a document, telling him page 2, paragraph 5. Gordon reads it and Gertner explains that the day Perry Saturn became injured, he became an inactive member of the roster, therefore, what he's been doing to the Dudleyz isn't just harassment, but it's considering stalking, so they went to the Boston Police Department and got an official restraining order saying that Perry Saturn has to be 500 feet away from the Dudley Boyz, Big Dick Dudley & Joel Gertner, effective immediately, or else the Boston PD holds the right to fine the company into six figures and shut this event DOWN. Gordon's got his hands tied and pleads with Saturn to leave but Saturn is FUMING, trying to leap at the Dudleyz & Gertner. He screams that these belts are too important to let them go out like this, and he's going to defend these belts with Kronus. Gordon pleads with him, saying if he does this, it'll surely lead to ECW going out of business, and he's begging him to think as a member of the ECW Family here. Gordon goes to get down on his knees and beg but Saturn stops him and tells him out of respect for Tod, and nothing else, he'll go. He wishes Kronus luck.

ECW Tag Team Championship: The Dudley Boyz (w/Joel Gertner, Big Dick Dudley, & Sign Guy Dudley) vs. John Kronus
This is about 5 minutes or so and it’s as bad as last weeks, D-Von kills him with a chair shot to the head busting him open, and it’s bad. Buh Buh even wipes Kronus’ blood on his own face. Kronus makes a comeback but the numbers game is just too much for him in the end and The Dudley\ connects with 3D for the win. YAY!

Joey Styles and Rick Rude hype up the PPV and this weekend's shows, which is being called “Orgy of violence”

The Triple Threat (w/Francine) vs. The Pitbulls & Balls Mahoney
So before the match, Douglas gets on the mic and says take a look at the fuckin’ most dominating force in wrestling, and ever since that turn toad Brian lee took Rick Rudes money. He knew it was time to get the biggest and baddest man in wrestling BAM BAM! And he already had the greatest mat wrestler in Chirs Candido. Every single say I wake up, I know how great I am because I get to look at this sweet thing (he points at Francine who is wearing all black latex outfit) He then calls himself the glue to hold it all together Candido bumps like a madman for the babyface team early, we get a brief epic encounter between Balls and Bam Bam that makes me want to see them have a brawl someday in the future when Balls is a credible threat. Sadly Douglas comes in and ruins it by being alive. The Triple Threat begins to isolate Balls, but Candido goes up top one time too many and Balls tags in Pitbull #2 who doesn’t even get a hot tag instead he runs right into a poke to the eyes and a low blow from Candido Pitbull #2 throws both Douglas and Candido around before Bam Bam puts a stop to it, allowing the Triple Threat to continue with the heat, kinda weird that Pitbull just randomly takes over and the face team begins to iso Douglas. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before where the face team doesn’t get the hot tag and instead they just take over. Francine gets involved, so the camera cut to Rude and Styles in the announce position. Rude sprays his mouth with breath spray then sprays some down his pants Styles questions where he’s going. Rude then shows up at ringside and begins making out with Francine, and she’s doesn’t stop him. FUCK YEAH! RUDE. Back from a commercial, and Bam Bam saves his team from Pitbull #2 who has his second wind. The Iso is back on Pitbull #2 as the Triple Threat begin using old school heel tactics cheating by any means necessary, after what seems to be like 5 minutes Balls and Pitbull #1 remember this is ECW and rules don’t matter so they finally run in and all hell break loose. Everyone brawls off leaving Douglas and Pitbull #1 to fight in the ring. Bam Bam saves Douglas with a chair shot to the back of Pitbull #1 Pitbull #1 hits a huge superplex on Bigelow and has it ended but Candido dives in to break it up. Douglas grabs his chain and KO's Pitbull #2 & Balls on the outside. The ref yells at Candido and Douglas storms back into KO Pitbull #1 and Bigelow pins him to win. Really good match, Bam Bam is like head and shoulders above everyone in this match. I love that he’s the Arn/Batista enforcer. Whenever Shane or Chris get into trouble, incomes Bam Bam to get the iso back. FUCK HE WAS AWESOME in his prime. ***1/4

Jerry Lawler is standing in front of the WWF interview backdrop. He says on Saturday night in Philadelphia, ECW presents an all-star card IN A BINGO HALL. He says that's gotta be a joke, there must be around 20 or so pretenders, and there are only 2 real wrestlers. And you know that don’t you Paul E. Rob Van Dam and Sabu are the only two athletes in this ECW scam Paul is running. He again calls Sandman a dope addict and says Tommy Dreamer is the only man he's ever seen with a charisma bypass. He says Paul is trying to use The King to draw a card, but he's been there and done that, he came, saw, and conquered, and he knew he was in Philadelphia when he got off the plane and the stench dropped him to his knees. He says once is enough for the King, and he doesn't care who he drops a rumor too because he's not coming to that Bingo Hall.

Tommy Dreamer is in the ring waiting for Louie Spicolli; we then get a recap of him finally beating Raven THEN THE GOAT WWF INVASION! Once we return we see Tommy Dreamer laying on the mat, we get a replay of Van Dam and Sabu attacking Dreamer from behind.

I Quit Match: Louie Spicolli vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty)
Louie immediately jumps on Tommy and starts beating the shit out of him. Dreamer shows that Tommy's heart early and keeps refusing to quit which pisses Louie off even more that every punch, kick or weapon shot looks a little bit more violent than the last. Louie begins using one of the broken table legs to choke Dreamer, Louie does something stupid and breaks the choke to head up top. But when he does he jumps right into averted drop right on Tommy’s knee. Dreamer then pulls out a pair of pliers and begins LOCKING THEM ONTO LOUIE’ DICK UNTIL HE FINALLY QUITS! HOLY SHIT!

ORGY OF VIOLENCE WEEKEND!

FRIDAY NIGHT!
Dreamer/Sabu
Sandman/RVD
Douglas/Taz

THIS SATURDAY NIGHT!
Dreamer/Sandman vs. RVD/Sabu
Bigelow vs. Pitbull #2
Taz vs. John Kronus
Dudleyz vs. Gangstaz

THIS SUNDAY AFTERNOON!
Triple Threat vs. Taz & Gangstaz
Dudleyz vs. Chris Chetti & Spike Dudley
Dreamer/Sandman/??? vs. RVD/Sabu/Spicolli

SUDDENLY BACK IN THE RING; RVD & SABU HAVE ATTACKED DREAMER AGAIN! BUT SANDMAN RUNS OUT! RVD continues to put the boots to Dreamer but Sabu stands in Sandman's way as they tease interactions.

 

[Crippler]

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk
ECW Television Champion: Taz
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz

ECW Hardcore TV: Episode 219
June 30th, 1997
Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show; Orgy of Violence! and brings out Rick Rude. They talk about the card and Joey asks Rude to keep down the orgy in his hotel room tonight so he can get some sleep in the room next door. Joey hypes up RVD/Sabu vs. Tommy/Sandman and Rude repeats his line about Lawler on his knees, and he calls Lawler to come to the ring and kiss his ravishing ass, and Rude moons the camera.

Pitbull #2 vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Shane Douglas & Francine)
Fuckin’ Pitbull #2 keeps getting matches, why can’t #1 get some? ANYWAY FRANCINE IS IN A FUCKIN’ ONE PIECE SEXY BEDROOM ATTIRE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Douglas gets on the mic; he hypes up Bam Bam as the biggest, badest and toughest motherfucker in wrestling. Douglas tries to jump Pitbull which allows Bam Bam to jump him from behind, he quickly uses Pitbull own chain to throw him over the top and begins handing him. They brawl to the floor and Pitbull has been busted open already. Bam continues to beat the shit out of him, all across the ring which included some GOAT right-hand punches. This might be one of 5 times that I ever think the bear hug has been used correctly, Bam Bam makes it look amazing until Pitbull bites his head to break free. BAM BAM LICKS THE BLOOD OFF PITBULL HEAD AND SPITS IT INTO THE CROWD! This amazing shot of all the blood running down Bam Bam’s hands and arms as he has a side headlock in. I will admit Pitbull’s comeback is pretty amazing as it’s big man offense but he has to go to the air to get Bam Bam off his feet. Pitbull hs BAM Bam up top but Francine distracts the ref long enough for Douglas to run interference, but here comes Pitbull #1 for the save. They brawl to the back, Candido grabs #2's leg out of nowhere, and Bam Bam hits a Bulldog to win. DAMN MAN! It was going great until the fuckery. ***

Chris Candido vs. Dr. Tom FUCKIN’ Prichard
So this is, yeah okay. It’s pretty much back and forth, move for move for like 7 minutes. Candido wins with the Blonde Bomb off the top. Post-Match: Candido continues his tradition of thanking an opponent he actually respects and likes and tells "Zip" to fuck off but welcomes back Dr. Tom Prichard. They shake hands.

Rob Van Dam & Sabu (w/Bill Alfonso) vs. Tommy Dreamer & The Sandman (w/Beulah McGillicutty)
Tommy and Dreamer drink beers during the entrance, while Beulah is wearing the hot little sparkling dress it might be shorter than Francine's HOLY SHIT! Sabu and Dreamer start, it’s pretty good. Sandman and RVD then get in and do some things, I love a cocky piece of shit ECW RVD and Sandman even though I’m pretty sure downed 4 beers during his entrance looks pretty sharp. RVD and Sabu proceed to hit a series of double teams but both miss the frogsplash/legdrop combo. That allows Dreamer and Sandman to do their own moves against them, but because both men are so unathletic is looks hilarious. All 4 men begin to brawl; Not much of a story, not a match, just a wild crazy really fun brawl with creative counters. I’m just gonna skip to the end. Van Dam misses a spinning back kick off the top and instead of taking out Dreamer, he takes out the ref. Dreamer hits Van Dam with the DDT and tries pinning him, but with no ref, no chance. Tod Gordon runs out and counts to 2 but Bill Alfonso stops him. ROB VAN DAM HITS GORDON WITH A CHAIR! SABU HITS AN ARABIAN FACEBUSTER TO PUT HIM THROUGH A TABLE HOLY SHIT! Dreamer and Sandman get RVD and Sabu up for a Stereo Piledriver. BUT, THE LIGHTS GO OUT! YES! AND WHEN THEY COME BACK ON! JERRY LAWLER'S THERE! AND HE'S LAID OUT SANDMAN AND DREAMER AND RVD & SABU HIT THEM BOTH WITH TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVERS! Sabu and RVD both miss with steel chair shots in the corner. Lawler's got his back turned, screaming at some fans in the front row. Dreamer & Sandman DDT RVD & Sabu and set them up and hit dueling Tree of Woe spots with the chairs in front of RVD & Sabu. DREAMER GRABS LAWLER! HE SETS UP FOR A DDT BUT SANDMAN STOPS HIM AND GRABS HIS CANE! THEY'RE GONNA CANE JERRY LAWLER! BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT AGAIN! THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON AND NOW RVD & SABU HAVE SANDMAN IN A DOUBLE CAMEL CLUTCH AND DREAMER STANDS THERE WITH LAWLER IN A HEADLOCK, IT'S MOTHERFUCKING JIM CORNETTE WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING TENNIS RACKET AND HE BEEEEEEEEELTS DREAMER ACROSS THE BACK! LAWLER & CORNETTE HUG! RVD & Sabu continue the assault on Dreamer & Sandman as Lawler & Cornette celebrate. They both pin the faces after a double Rolling Thunder/Springboard Legdrop combo and Lawler forces the ref to count.

Lawler celebrates with Sandman's cane and canes Sandman numerous times til he goes down. He goes over to Dreamer and stands over him and CANES HIM RIGHT IN THE DICK, AND TOMMY’S GIRL SCREAM IS THE GREATEST THING EVER. OH HE ALSO GETS KNOCKED OUT BECAUSE OF IT. Cornette comes over and whacks Dreamer HARD three fucking times in the back with the racket but Dreamer's not moving. Other ECW wrestlers try to break it up finally but RVD and Sabu fight them off as the show goes off the air. AMAZING!