The WS Mental Health and Empathy Thread

[Jimmy King]

So okay, I wanted to talk to my girl about this first, before I really talked on here about it.


For some reason, for about almost the last week or so.(since maybe like Friday night) I been really really depressed and down in the dump. Like, basically I just been doing everything I could to just get through the day so I can go to sleep that night. Just you know, going through the motions of the day, eating, and stuff like that you know? I had moments of like, some joy I guess...but nothing major. It's why you've not seen me much the last week or so cause I just really wanted to just not bring anyone down. I been on Xbox less, but even when I was I didn't talk much in the parties and just basically was there. I wish I could explain better, or figure out what had me feeling this way but I really don't.


The worst part is, that last Saturday night, was probably the worst of it for me. I was so down, and just not wanting anything to do with anyone that part of me just didn't want to be alive anymore. I basically had to tell myself to think about the people in my life, the people who would be hurt, and who are worth me not doing anything dumb to help myself. That was the lowest I've been in quite sometime. The part I hate the most is not even knowing what bought it on. I fucking hate that.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this Blaze. Yeah not knowing what brings it on is the worst part but most of time it’s never really anything specific. At least in my case anyways when I start to feel down, it’ll just randomly come to me. Sometimes there are things that can trigger it though but most of the time it’s nothing specific, it sucks.

I get not wanting to come on here as you feel like you don’t want to be a burden, trust me I get that that’s why I don’t really ever open up to anyone about how I’m feeling and I’ll come up with a lie like I’m just tired. Coming here though might help try taking your mind off of it and maybe help you out of your funk, it’s an escape from reality. We’re all here too for you to talk to and listen to whenever you need it buddy.

I hope you feel better bud.

 

[Doom]

I've been depressed a lot lately.

Besides work, I rarely get out because I got no transportation, which I've been used to it for years. It's been getting to me a lot. I know my family invites me to hang out with them every now and then on weekends, but I want to actually hang out with friends for a change.

The thing is, that I cut ties from Facebook because the friends that live close to me don't bother to invite me to hang out and shit. Even when I had to live 20 months without DSL and cable. I stopped caring completely back in January and decided to delete my account. I also got rid of Discord because I rarely use it. I'm a very lonely person behind either this phone or laptop. I'm very shy because of my stutterness and a lack of anything good to say. I just hate being this way without any communication besides my family. What's fun in life without hanging out with friends or get out of town to do something and live life behind technology for most of my life. I regretted it ever since I missed out hanging out with friends in high school. I wish I could take it back.

 

[Hidden Blaze]

I've been depressed a lot lately.

Besides work, I rarely get out because I got no transportation, which I've been used to it for years. It's been getting to me a lot. I know my family invites me to hang out with them every now and then on weekends, but I want to actually hang out with friends for a change.

The thing is, that I cut ties from Facebook because the friends that live close to me don't bother to invite me to hang out and shit. Even when I had to live 20 months without DSL and cable. I stopped caring completely back in January and decided to delete my account. I also got rid of Discord because I rarely use it. I'm a very lonely person behind either this phone or laptop. I'm very shy because of my stutterness and a lack of anything good to say. I just hate being this way without any communication besides my family. What's fun in life without hanging out with friends or get out of town to do something and live life behind technology for most of my life. I regretted it ever since I missed out hanging out with friends in high school. I wish I could take it back.

Completely feel that bro. It’s hard shit to deal with. You sometimes want to do shit, but at the same time you just don’t feel like doing it, or don’t have ways to do it. Which just makes things worse. I’m here for you bro.

 

[Doom]

Completely feel that bro. It’s hard shit to deal with. You sometimes want to do shit, but at the same time you just don’t feel like doing it, or don’t have ways to do it. Which just makes things worse. I’m here for you bro.

Thanks Blaze.

It really gets to me at times when I think about it and it's not good. I just need to not think about the past and move forward and continue to have a positive attitude in life.

 

[Hidden Blaze]

Thanks Blaze.

It really gets to me at times when I think about it and it's not good. I just need to not think about the past and move forward and continue to have a positive attitude in life.

Well I wish you luck with it. Been trying to do that myself and some days it ain’t so easy. But you got this man!

 

[Sabretooth]

I'm sorry @Doom. Sometimes shit sucks. I went through periods in my life too where I didn't have many friends. Just keep pushing forward. Life is a marathon not a sprint. It'll all work out in the end.

 

[Chris]

I also think with how global the world has become it's nothing to have most of your friends online now. Shit almost all of my irl friends that I had are 3+ hours away now so we never really get to hang out in person, but we still keep up with each other. There's less of a disconnect with me between irl friends and "internet" friends like you guys (well some) than previously and I'm sure that's a combination of how the world is changing and also my anti-social ass

 

[Lady Redfield]

Late last night, I got word that an online friend had taken his life. I e-met him 15 years ago and had been friends ever since, as he was with many people from the forum we all posted on. We were all shocked to hear as this was a person who you would never think had inner struggles. He posted on Facebook pretty much every day, funny memes, or just funny edits of himself. Trouble became apparent when he posted a message on Facebook that he had quickly deleted, but, not before another member of our forum family had seen it and was messaging him to try to make him feel better. Family was also alerted, as well as police, but, it was too late when they got there and he was already gone.

I still sit here in shock as you would never, ever imagine this was something even at the back of his mind......a truly funny guy who always brought a smile to peoples faces. This is another sad case like Robin Williams where you think someone is happy, but, they are suffering inside. A good friend of mine from the same forum had messaged him as well but his message was never opened.It makes me sad to think of him just looking at that unopened message.

 

[Chris]

Damn I'm sorry Cat, losing a long time friend whether you knew them in person is one of the hardest things in the world

 

[Comrade Khan]

Gutted. Very sorry for your loss Cat.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Not really anything serious but...

So for those who may not be aware, my younger brother enlisted in the National Guard this year to help pay for college and he was shipped out to Missouri this Sunday. I'm not really sure how to feel about it other than worried. I hope he does alright for himself (I imagine he will) and doesn't get involved in anything serious, as with anyone in the military. I guess I just miss him and I think about him every day now, even if it's been less than a week.



At least @Stan Smith can't say we aren't patriotic now.

 

[Lady Redfield]

Not really anything serious but...

So for those who may not be aware, my younger brother enlisted in the National Guard this year to help pay for college and he was shipped out to Missouri this Sunday. I'm not really sure how to feel about it other than worried. I hope he does alright for himself (I imagine he will) and doesn't get involved in anything serious, as with anyone in the military. I guess I just miss him and I think about him every day now, even if it's been less than a week.



At least @Stan Smith can't say we aren't patriotic now.

My mom and one of my uncles were really close growing up and whenever he was sent away to fight, they would exchange letters. He kept all of the letters.

I know it’s not really the age of sending letters, but, any communication you can get is at least comforting

 

[Swamps]

Not really anything serious but...

So for those who may not be aware, my younger brother enlisted in the National Guard this year to help pay for college and he was shipped out to Missouri this Sunday. I'm not really sure how to feel about it other than worried. I hope he does alright for himself (I imagine he will) and doesn't get involved in anything serious, as with anyone in the military. I guess I just miss him and I think about him every day now, even if it's been less than a week.



At least @Stan Smith can't say we aren't patriotic now.

Big props to your brother on joining the family. There is still room for you Grim if you want to come join us. We're not just point the gun and shoot. You can be taught a lot of valuable skills that can get you a six figure contracting job.

Your brother will be fine. I take it he went to FTW since he went to Missouri. That's actually the same place I went to Basic, more than a decade ago. I know it sucks being away from family when they're gone. Especially under these circumstances. After he is out of Basic, he will be able to Facetime you and such, so it won't be as bad. That is how I am able to stay sane and see my children. Just finished up talking to my wife and kids two hours ago, and it always makes me feel a lot better. Makes my day when I see my babies run to the phone when we interact.

Its funny how you can sit in an open bay with 20 other guys and still feel empty inside because you are away from loved ones. Hell, I'm actually laid back on my bunk typing this out, while listening to my brothers joke around about the stuff that happened this week. Even stuff like this (interacting on forums) takes the edge off of things. Sorry for rambling on, I am high on pain pills right now after having a tooth pulled yesterday, so I'm kind of in a rambling mood I guess.

Just curious, when did I say you weren't patriotic? Was that at the other place? I do apologize for that. I think that may have been when me and Dak were doing our gimmick.

 

[Kim Jong Umb]

Been feeling pretty anxious lately with everything and just getting in my head

 

[Kim Jong Umb]

I been feeling trapped lately in my own head ever since my mother came and visited with my step dad in tow. I tried to act normal around them but, my anxiety it shot up tenfold and I couldn't even speak. I felt so weak so insecure I couldn't even make eye contact I looked down when I spoke I just felt so little. I really wish I could get over my past but, it feels like everytime I feel any source of normalcy it comes back to me in a wave and I feel like I got a ton of pressure on my chest and I can't breath. I should be over it now. I felt like when I got away from them it would feel better that from my age of 5- 17 that 12 year hell I was in would be over and for awhile it did. When I lived with my mom my grades sucked. I felt trapped in a house when even when I tried to get away and just do my own thing I get screamed at I come home from school I get screamed it. Whatever I did I get screamed at probably why I spent so much time at my buddies literally from 3 PM on a Friday or whenever school let off until that sunday at 9:00 PM to the point I didn't even feel like a family in my own home I felt like a stranger and my mom and the family would do stuff while I was away fun family activities and I come home and they did this or that. My mom lives in this fantasy world where everything was ok and didn't wanna acknowledge anything that goes on the night my step dad put me through a wall her phone call was apparently more important and when her husband put me down to the ground with his knee on my back as I screamed for help she shut the door in my face.


I got up he was on my back and a split second ran through my mind to just jump down the stairs with both him on my back. I was done I wanted out and I wanted I needed to get away. I didn't but, I slammed his back against the wall and said I am done I am leaving this house. I think the next day I went to school but, I had a headache so bad. A school friend asked me what was wrong I didn't say anything but, looking back I most likely had a concussion.

(The whole fight started when he was talking about my father and I told him not to do it when my father isn't around to defend himself I also questioned why he never said anything to my dad's face I think he was just trying to push my buttons tbh with you he always do that shit to start something with me.)

This guy to when I was very hysterical and angry talking bout killing myself handed me a butcher knife too.

My mom, acts like this shit didn't happen she never once said anything about the situation when asked to her friends and family she said I moved to Buffalo to take care of my grandparents in which I did when they needed me too but, the reason why was because of that fight. She doesn't acknowledge it. I feel like I am going to be the ad guy if I ever bring it up too and I tried to keep away from them I want to move on with my life but, to act like it never happen fuck. For a long time to I felt trapped my mom lived in PA I lived in NY throughout the years I did tell my dad and my great grandparents what was going on. Hell when I moved it was my moms mother who took me down with all my things. My moms family knows what happen I told them about it they always been very good to me. My dads side is just his parents and his sis but, my dad went through similar thing when he was younger but, he joined the army at 17.

The thing is I failed the 9th grade , it was because I was just such in a bad place I couldn't focus and when I moved to NY I made the honor roll I was averaging 80-89 in my classes overall and much better in the other ones History I aced and so on.

I don't think I ever will be normal and honestly some day this shit might actually kill me. The thing is I hate confrontation because of that and I try my very best to keep away from it because I go into this anxious paranoids state and just try to run from that shit probably one I am terrible in relationships.


I feel bad to for feeling this way cause I know people had it worst then I did and I feel guilty af for looking for help and such too. IDK I just had to get things off my chest.