Next month is already going to be one year since I lost my Boston Terriers, my anxiety is blowing up, I am just dreading the week itself. I thought of booking both days off from work, but, I will just be sitting here with greater sadness than if I go to work and try to keep myself distracted. I've been struggling with this situation since the days they died (a week apart), they were 12 and 13 years old, one passed away at home as I held him in a blanket from a number of health issues, including diabetes, cushing's disease, heart failure, high blood pressure, he was a mess. My 13 year old, I had to put him down a week later as he had bone marrow cancer and he got really bad within those 7 days, we had to pick him up to go outside and hold him up while he went to the bathroom. I also had to feed and give him water from a syringe.
I am sad as fuck that they are gone, I got them as puppies and they saved my life, they are literally the reason why I am here typing today, but, at the same time, I am at least glad they passed away close together, one could not live without the other, so, I am glad they are together and didn't have to spend much time apart.
I have a big fireplace with shelves on the sides, I have their ashes in dog house urns, and two of my cats in their urns, on top of it with their birthday hats, sweaters and the leather cases with all their paw prints in them. I put 3 battery operated candles there, one for each dog next to their pictures, and, one for both cats. The dogs have visited a lot, their candles turn on by themselves quite a bit. Neither cat has visited yet lol, typical.
Here is a picture from about a week ago. It was the first time both of the boys candles turned on. You can see the cats one off, as usual, lol.