Should I?

[monkeystyle]

btw watch out for preying mantises

This one went way over my head.

 

[monkeystyle]

Well, it's the day after the weekend so I suppose I'll drop an update.

Spent Saturday and Sunday night with Munchkin. Things clicked. I really like her and she seems to really like me. I actually can't recall the last time I had such a great weekend with a chick. On Sunday morning I went to make breakfast because that's what I do but instead of just sitting there and letting me do everything which is what the others have always done, she got up and actually helped me. I wouldn't let her but the fact that she tried meant something to me. I still haven't told her I smoke/smoke yet, on the other hand though I went an entire weekend without either but that could just be due to the newness of everything keeping me distracted.

Now this is the point where my inner douche comes out and I'm actually feeling, well fuck, I don't know what word to use. I want to say I'm feeling bad about it but that's not it. Maybe disgusted. That might be it.

So after this great time we had and we're not like making far future plans or anything like that but we're talking about stuff we'll do this summer together.

Anyway, this morning I get talking to Lannister again via text message and I made plans to go out with her on Wednesday night. Okay, yeah. Disgusted with myself was definitely the right word. Like, why the fuck am I doing this? Munchkin is perfectly nice and I do enjoy the time we've spent together and definitely want to spend more time with her because not only do I like her, she's the exact opposite of the type I usually attract. She's stable, got a good head on her shoulders, responsible. All the things I'm mostly not but am looking for in an ideal mate.

So again, why the fuck am I doing this? I feel like I'm doing it subconsciously to destroy the good thing I do have going but I can't figure out why. And at this point I made plans with Lannister and can't just blow her off because that would make me feel awful.

My brain is sounding the alarms and telling me that I should just walk away from both girls and get my shit straightened out before I do irreparable damage to both of them and cause them to hate my guts and wish for horrible things to happen to me just like all of my other exes but I can't do that. The loneliness is just too strong.

I'd also like to apologise to all of those who read all of this bullshit. Sometimes I just get to writing and I let some personal shit slip but whatever. Part of me thinks I'm looking for someone to step up and tell me what an asshole I'm being and set me straight but then again, I don't fucking know.

I really am a miserable wretch of a person. Fucking hell, I hate myself.

i think the one that wants kids doesn't wanna get dirty because shes insecure. id take that over the other bitch tho, the one that likes video games etc. duno.

She wasn't insecure at all. Just making sure I'm not some guy who's just looking to get laid. Which is exactly what I'm going to be in her eyes if I end up liking the other one better.

 

[...god...]

meh, i don't think there's anything wrong with going out with this other girl just to see what she's like as you don't do anything more than that.

 

[Italian Outsider]

Monk, you are lucky I'm exagerately busy these days, otherwise I would have personally come to Canada to slap you after reading that.

 

[This Guy]

I agree with g1. Its not like you've committed to either girl at this point. If all it is, is dating, then there is no real issue yet. But if you are starting to feel stongly for one or the other, then you need to be honest about it with them.

 

[monkeystyle]

Well, that's that. Problem solved.

FUCK YOU

 

[Italian Outsider]

details

 

[monkeystyle]

Nothing huge. I just decided that the path of least resistance is the path worth taking. Why stray out of my comfort zone?

Although, kinda funny little coincidence. They both worked for the Government. I knew that one worked for the Canadian Food Inspection Agency and when I asked the other one which branch she worked for, guess what? The Canadian Food Inspection Agency. What the fuck are the odds of that happening.

Now, that's not really a big deal. They work in the same building but in different jobs so I think I'm safe. That shit's just funny to me though.

 

[...god...]

LOOOOOOOOOL BOTH THE GIRLS UR DATING AND MET ON THE SAME SITE WORK IN THE SAME EXACT PLACE? This is totally a setup o god ur so fucked something is gonna happen out of this. whICH ones better btw?

 

[Italian Outsider]

rofl

 

[PeepShow]

:lmmmao:

 

[monkeystyle]

LOOOOOOOOOL BOTH THE GIRLS UR DATING AND MET ON THE SAME SITE WORK IN THE SAME EXACT PLACE? This is totally a setup o god ur so fucked something is gonna happen out of this. whICH ones better btw?

Nah, I'm just dating one now. My biggest concern is that one day we're all three going to cross paths and Lannister is going to find out that I was dating another chick at the same time as her even though I specifically said that I was not.

Lannister was the right choice. Girl loves to play video games, watches the same TV shows as I do for the most part, we like the same music and all that good stuff, so I decided to run with it. The only thing that bothered me was that she occasionally does these "artsy" nude photo shoots for local photographers. I have no problem with this in theory but it does kind of get my jealousy hackles up. I just need to get over that shit though, and for that reason I will never, ever tell any of you her real name. Last thing I need is to log on and see a thread with all the pictures she's done. I know you motherfuckers too well.

In terms of which one is better, I can only imagine you meant that question in one way and truthfully that was the deciding factor. I was already leaning towards Lannister but we hadn't gotten down yet so I wasn't sure because things with Munchkin on that front were okay. A little reserved on her part in certain ways but I kinda figured that it could be fun to take her out of her comfort zone. (Done that once before to spectacular, yet somewhat annoying results)

This weekend though I spent with Lannister and it finally happened and it was honestly like nothing I've ever experienced.

I feel genuinely happy right now but that whole work thing is just sort of tickling at me in the back of my head. It's almost like "You lied and you think you got away with it but just you wait!"

 

[...god...]

Nah, all I meant was who do you connect with better and have more in common with, etc. Oh, so you weren't dating both at the same time, nvm then who cares. Still funny, but you did absolutely nothing wrong. She sounds cool, photo thing is weird but it's not like it's porn or anything.

 

[This Guy]

Knowing your luck man, they are like best friends too.

 

[NinoBrown]

Must get lonely in the government thus they all go to the SAME dating site.