Should I?

[Lady Redfield]

Uh, my husband is 12 years older than I am. My parents are 10 years apart. His parents are 20 years apart.

Age doesn't mean shit unless you're underage.

There may be differences in lifestyle, yes (older people may be at the 'settling down' stage while a younger person may be at the ''party 'till I barf my guts out every night" stage) but there are actually a lot of older people out there who love to party and shit and lots of younger people who are married, have kids, and do family stuff, not partying.

People hear an age and automatically assume things.

 

[This Guy]

Yeah what happened? Did you Monk it up? j/k

 

[Italian Outsider]

Uh, my husband is 12 years older than I am. My parents are 10 years apart. His parents are 20 years apart.

Age doesn't mean shit unless you're underage.

There may be differences in lifestyle, yes (older people may be at the 'settling down' stage while a younger person may be at the ''party 'till I barf my guts out every night" stage) but there are actually a lot of older people out there who love to party and shit and lots of younger people who are married, have kids, and do family stuff, not partying.

People hear an age and automatically assume things.

Not sure about your parents, or your husband's parents, but when the guy is the (much) older one, I find it relatively normal/acceptable. I wouldn't have any problem going out with a girl 6 years younger than me (other than the fact that new generations are Blue), while I'd consider problematic the opposite.
It has probably something to do with girls becoming mature earlier than guys.

 

[monkeystyle]

lol, why?

Yeah what happened? Did you Monk it up? j/k

ROFL

Nope, this time I did the right thing.

She started getting mad clingy on me, but I was like, whatever, as long as I'm chilled it's all good.

So this past Sunday we were driving back from her place and she starts talking about her exes. That's cool, you share that kind of stuff eventually.She disclosed that she went out with a few Muslim men and then went on this absolutely ridiculous racist diatribe against Muslims. Now, I know we heap a lot of shit on people here but I don't think any of us are actually seriously racist. This chick was.

So I'm getting more and more furious as we drive and as she keeps babbling on. Eventually she clues in that I'm not talking at all and I'm sitting there seething. So she backs off with, "I was just kidding. Just being a shit disturber". Bullshit.

So I get out of the car at home and tell her I'll call her the next day. At this point I'm like, this is done. Now do I break up with her before her birthday or do I hold out until afterwards.

So I decide that I'll wait. I'll be nice.

Next morning I have a bunch of texts basically saying that we're in different places in life but she stops before actually saying I don't want to see you any more but I'm seeing my opening so I'm just like "I know where you're going with this so okay, fine."

A few hours later, I'm at work and I get a message saying I don't know what I was thinking, blah, blah, blah and I'm ignoring her. So I get like 5 more texts in a row followed up by "Please talk to me sweety." I respond back with "I'm busy right now" thinking fuck, it was so close to being that easy.

About 45 minutes later I get one more text (if you recall above she was a former boozer) saying "I just bought a bottle of tequila" so I'm pretty pissed at this point and I'm like what the fuck is your problem and she's like I'm reaching out to you.

I called bullshit and told her if she was reaching out to me she would have done so before buying the bottle, that she was using emotional blackmail and that I never wanted to hear from her again.

She responded to that by telling me I was an asshole, that she didn't need me, she was going to drink the bottle and invite her considerably less stable than me ex over. I guess she thought that might hit my sympathy button but sadly for her I was already super pissed so I told her to enjoy herself, but this is done now, leave me alone.

She followed that up with another few texts running me down telling me that I couldn't handle her, that if I didn't care for her the way she did me I shouldn't have fucked her the way that I did and the basic fuck off, you're an asshole, yada yada yada.

Haven't heard from her since then but goddamn was I happy she made that so easy. So free again now and pleased about it.

So that's two strikes now for dating sites. One more and I'm going caveman style.

 

[Italian Outsider]

:roflmao:

I recall having a similar problem with a girl who was formerly bulyimic-anorexic.
When I told her I wanted to break up she started threatening to go back to her former habits.
I started ignoring her for good. She knew me well enough to understand that I move on quite easily and I couldn't care less if she ended up in a hospital for that. She never followed through anyways..

 

[...god...]

ROFL

Nope, this time I did the right thing.

She started getting mad clingy on me, but I was like, whatever, as long as I'm chilled it's all good.

So this past Sunday we were driving back from her place and she starts talking about her exes. That's cool, you share that kind of stuff eventually.She disclosed that she went out with a few Muslim men and then went on this absolutely ridiculous racist diatribe against Muslims. Now, I know we heap a lot of shit on people here but I don't think any of us are actually seriously racist. This chick was.

So I'm getting more and more furious as we drive and as she keeps babbling on. Eventually she clues in that I'm not talking at all and I'm sitting there seething. So she backs off with, "I was just kidding. Just being a shit disturber". Bullshit.

So I get out of the car at home and tell her I'll call her the next day. At this point I'm like, this is done. Now do I break up with her before her birthday or do I hold out until afterwards.

So I decide that I'll wait. I'll be nice.

Next morning I have a bunch of texts basically saying that we're in different places in life but she stops before actually saying I don't want to see you any more but I'm seeing my opening so I'm just like "I know where you're going with this so okay, fine."

A few hours later, I'm at work and I get a message saying I don't know what I was thinking, blah, blah, blah and I'm ignoring her. So I get like 5 more texts in a row followed up by "Please talk to me sweety." I respond back with "I'm busy right now" thinking fuck, it was so close to being that easy.

About 45 minutes later I get one more text (if you recall above she was a former boozer) saying "I just bought a bottle of tequila" so I'm pretty pissed at this point and I'm like what the fuck is your problem and she's like I'm reaching out to you.

I called bullshit and told her if she was reaching out to me she would have done so before buying the bottle, that she was using emotional blackmail and that I never wanted to hear from her again.

She responded to that by telling me I was an asshole, that she didn't need me, she was going to drink the bottle and invite her considerably less stable than me ex over. I guess she thought that might hit my sympathy button but sadly for her I was already super pissed so I told her to enjoy herself, but this is done now, leave me alone.

She followed that up with another few texts running me down telling me that I couldn't handle her, that if I didn't care for her the way she did me I shouldn't have fucked her the way that I did and the basic fuck off, you're an asshole, yada yada yada.

Haven't heard from her since then but goddamn was I happy she made that so easy. So free again now and pleased about it.

So that's two strikes now for dating sites. One more and I'm going caveman style.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL WTf?!@?! I was like legit so happy for you, compare this post to your initial one saying how absolutely awesome and great she was. Two questions:

1) What did she say exactly (quotes) about muslims that pissed YOU off? Just curious.

2) "shouldn't have fucked her that way" you mean fucked WITH or did you actually fuck her?

oh and did you get to bring up the fact that you wanted to break up due to her alcoholism, or did you at some other point at least show a fair sense of concern for it? I figure that's why she tried to use it as blackmail since she knew you cared a lot about that aspect specifically (due to your drinking).

 

[monkeystyle]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL WTf?!@?! I was like legit so happy for you, compare this post to your initial one saying how absolutely awesome and great she was.

This happens to me a lot. I tend to forget that people put on their best faces for a while and just automatically assume that they're actually like that. Then I inevitably get disappointed.

Two questions:

1) What did she say exactly (quotes) about muslims that pissed YOU off? Just curious.

Quotes I can't give you. But essentially it came down to her saying that all Muslim men are horrible misogynists, control freaks and abusers of women. The entire time she was on about this all I could think about were these two muslims that I work with who are just tremendous people and treat women like gold and my buddy Alnoor who if he ever spoke to a woman would be the same way.

Like, I tried explaining to her patiently initially that she just had a few douches but they are no way indicative of an entire culture of people and I knew a few guys who would prove her wrong but she wasn't having it. That's when I started to get pissed.

2) "shouldn't have fucked her that way" you mean fucked WITH or did you actually fuck her?

Actually fucked her. I took that part as a compliment tbh. But it's not like I did anything special with her. She got treated the same way as almost anyone else.

oh and did you get to bring up the fact that you wanted to break up due to her alcoholism, or did you at some other point at least show a fair sense of concern for it? I figure that's why she tried to use it as blackmail since she knew you cared a lot about that aspect specifically (due to your drinking).

I never said I wanted to break up but I was very clear that I drank a fair amount and if she couldn't handle that then we should go no further. She was okay with it and I was actually impressed. Like, when I drank, she drank non-alcoholic beer. There was one point though that she said one day she might again and I said that would be incredibly stupid and I would be disappointed but that was about it.

Oh and one other thing that annoyed me but I didn't let it get in the way. I just wrote it off as quirky. Her father was a Communist. Like a legit, card carrying member of the party. She retained a lot of his beliefs, which I thought were ridiculous, but I just sort of ignored. Anyway, the first time I went over to her place I saw that she had a big picture of Che Guevara on her wall, you know the one. So being the curious sort I asked her if she knew Che was a horrible mass murderer and she said yes, I don't care. That kind of annoyed me, but I wrote it off again because I can't be a judgemental prick all the time.

Lesson learned, listen to your instincts people. Even though I won't.

 

[Italian Outsider]

I would have immediately dumped her as soon as I knew she was a commie. Seriously.

 

[Italian Outsider]

btw monk, do you have a movie to get into a woman's pants or something? Possibly not twilight..

 

[Lady Redfield]

lmao, wowwwwwwwww, I would say 'sorry to hear it didn't work out' but looks like it was a blessing.

 

[monkeystyle]

I would have immediately dumped her as soon as I knew she was a commie. Seriously.

I never thought that ideological differences would have that much of an effect. She was also the first one I ever met. I thought Communists were myths these days.

btw monk, do you have a movie to get into a woman's pants or something? Possibly not twilight..

No movie will remove her drawers but give High Fidelity a shot. It's funny, got great music and it's definitely a more romantic flick.

lmao, wowwwwwwwww, I would say 'sorry to hear it didn't work out' but looks like it was a blessing.

Pretty much.

Honestly, I think I'm doing something wrong. I always seem to attract these kinds of women. I don't fucking get it.

 

[Italian Outsider]

I never thought that ideological differences would have that much of an effect. She was also the first one I ever met. I thought Communists were myths these days.

Political extremists may be a rare sight, but they exist. And I'd dump the girl no matter what. Far right, far left, or simply very religious doesn't change much, it would just make it impossible to cohexist.

 

[monkeystyle]

Right, so I almost gave up.

However, I met this really nice one, I think. Super tiny, like 5'2". Gorgeous smile and just a really great attitude in general.

Took her out to dinner last weekend for tapas. Hardest part about going out with girls to supper is not showcasing my voracious appetite and disgusting them as they watch me pack away enough food to feed 12 African families.

She came over last night and spent the night. Nothing really happened, though. She wants to get to know me better before we go any further and you know what? That's pretty fucking cool. The girls I usually go out with tend to be uhhh... you know.

That was definitely the turning point for me. This one has serious potential.

There are a few issues though. She wants kids, which I'm not as closed off to as I once was. She also doesn't know that I smoke/smoke. That I'm going to have to deal with eventually but I'm definitely taking a wait and see approach to that. My brother happens to think I'm a giant d-bag for that but whatever.

Anyway, cautiously optimistic about this one. If this fails though, I'm done with those sites. I thought the men would be bad on those sites but in fact the women are just as bad as some of the guys. Not in the "I'm just looking to get my dick wet" type but in the, "Yeah! I have an average body size!" type.

Motherfuckers just need to be as they are.

 

[...god...]

or lose weight

 

[monkeystyle]

There are guys out there who like themselves a Reubenesque type woman.

I'm not one of those guys, but I also don't like super skinny chicks either. This one might actually be like, the epitome of perfect body type for me.

I still can't believe she didn't sleep with me. I'm not trying to be all like "I'm King Cock of Stud fucking Mountain" but usually when I get a half-naked chick sleeping beside me it's not very hard to close the deal. She's actually getting under my skin.