Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

[Sky]

Entry #1016
Francine vs. Jasmin St. Claire
NWA-TNA PPV #5 - July 17, 2002​

I'll just cover this match quickly, as it takes place right after Puppet/Meatball and features two women who have a bit of ECW in them in their own way. The Queen of Extreme vs. the Blue Meanie's then-girlfriend. Jasmin was the Bonnie Blue of her time, claiming to have had it off with 300 men in one day, when in reality it was about a dozen with camera tricks. Can she dominate this match, though? No, and it'll probably be horrible.

Jasmin's limping to the ring, because Francine attacked her in the back. Jeremy Borash damn near faints at the sight of her backside. Francine shows up and it's a catfight. Do you like hair pulling? Hope so! Jasmin tears Francine's shirt off and parades it about because that's what this is. Francine yanks Jasmin's shorts down and uses her belt to whack her opponent on the rear. Blue Meanie shows up to DDT Francine to end this match in DQ. Meanie princess carries Jasmin off while Ed Ferrara leads the medical staff to check on his favourite sex object.

30 seconds of crap and two minutes of angle.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1017
Angelina Love (c)/Velvet Sky vs. ODB/Cody Deaner
for the TNA Knockouts Championship
TNA Hard Justice - August 16, 2009​

Fuck it, why not. I've got nothing better to do except wait for predictions and/or my death. Here's a match rated 1.50/10 on Cagematch. It's a Russo favourite, a singles title decided in a tag team match. This is theoretically between Angelina and ODB, but Velvet and not-quite-hometown man Deaner are in the match too. Let's see what shenanigans Russo is cooking.

Tale of the Tape mentions a tag team match where ODB pinned Angelina. By this logic shouldn't she be the champ already? Would avoid this match. Velvet proudly displays an aerosol which she will inevitably use. Madison Rayne is out here, fuck it, let her tag in too. There's brawling to start but it feels like nothing Angelina does has any impact. ODB misses a corner attack and now begins the heat segment. Velvet displays her best squealing. When Deaner tags in all his moves involve smacking Velvet's ass somehow. Including a cornered-ten-punch spot but it's slaps to the ass! That's charming in the same way that it is disturbing.

ODB's got to clear off the goons but can't stop Angelina from yanking her leg from the corner. Back to heat. Camera focuses far too much on Velvet's reddened rear end (a younger me would never have said that). The BPs do some MCMG-esque tag moves but at half speed. We finally get a hot tag to Deaner who forces a few kisses on Velvet like a true babyface. He pulls it off on Angelina too. Then Madison gets draped on the ropes and sexually assauted for good measure. Velvet's bent over against the ropes but manages to get a mule kick off to prevent a rape attempt. Botox Injection, but ODB ground-and-pounds Angelina to stop the pin. Velvet holds Deaner back so Madison can use the spray but You Know This Spot! Deaner rolls up Velvet (with more ass-smacking) for the win, to hand the title to ODB.

(Then Deaner grabs the belt himself, arguing that he should be the women's champion because he got the pin. TNA actually hears him out and holds the title up for a later PPV. Hey, at least they didn't Arquette it and give Deaner an actual run.)

Anyway this match has aged awfully even not considering that finish. One to forget.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1018
The Main Event Mafia (Booker T/Scott Steiner) (c) vs. Team 3D
Falls Count Anywhere Match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship
TNA Hard Justice - August 16, 2009​

Also on this card, here's another match that just looks like it stinks. It really looks like it stinks. No doubt you saw Team 3D being way too old for this shit at Bound for Glory. Speaking of tag teams that are way too old for this: Booker T and Scott Steiner! And once again they're hiding behind a hardcore stipulation so it sucks less. It probably won't suck less though! Let's go.

Don West doesn't want Team 3D to win so he doesn't have to print a new "23 Time" shirt. Fans being impatient about tables apparently extends into 2009, who knew? After a brief brawl the MEM are thrown TO THE OUTSIDE and try to walk off and get counted out. In a Falls Count Anywhere match. They must think this is 1999 WCW! But yeah, Team 3D join them and there's a picture-in-picture. It's white vs. white and black vs. black but what unites the peoples of the world is furniture-bashing. Ray traps Steiner's arm in the guardrail whilst Booker and Devon slow-brawl in the crowd. Ray and Steiner also enter their own part of the crowd to draw a weak E-C-Dub chant. And that's how this match continues for a bit.

Steiner tries to do a flying axe handle off a rail and falls off. He uses a chair for two. Devon uses a bottle but camera misses that. Ray misses with the chair. All four men are nearly at the guardrail. Steiner jumps off a balcony for a TNA chant. As in, "only in TNA would an old man attempt something silly like that". By the time the replay has finished Steiner's advantage has gone and he takes a chair to the balls. Booker briefly gets some heat on Devon but Devon recovers and uses a bottle. Steiner does a jackknife pin which must be a challenge on the outside. It's at this point I notice there are two refs. It's a sensible choice, but it's probably in service of some bullshit.

Finally we're back in the ring and Steiner Line gets two. WAZZUP to Steiner and at last it is time to get the tables. All the pageantry lets the MEM members recover but all the stalling they do also lets 3D recover and do a Doomsday Device. Booker moves the table away rather than try and help Steiner, which is a confusing decision. Perhaps he thought it was a tables match? Book End through a table but Ray just kicks out. No save needed. MEM get some beatdown, then Devon gets some beatdown. Steiner does awful corner punches and gets powerbombed. Booker misses a scissors kick. The 3D is hit, but while Booker's being pinned Steiner rolls up Ray! Yep, thought that would happen. Double pinfall result, and perhaps the first use of VAR in wrestling confirms both refs were counting at the same time. Even despite this, the decision is MEM retain. Crowd thinks it's bullshit. Sting probably agrees.

Punchfest with a flat finish. Really poor.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1019
Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible
NWA-TNA PPV #50: 1st Anniversary Show - June 18, 2003​

I'll be honest, I really don't like Asylum-era TNA. It's WCW 2000 with 1/50 of the budget, if that. And because I get the feeling I'll be slogging my way through a lot of JCW in 2026, I'll have to get used to that! The first ever Slammiversary (except no, it wasn't that) is notable in that it was rated by the Observer. Two of those matches were Dave-certified DUDs. So, I'd best get on and look at them, right? As our intro plays with a so-bad-it's-funny ripoff of SoaD's Toxicity, let's dive in to... a Jerry Lynn match? Surely it can't be that bad?

This match apparently derives from Credible reminding Lynn that he's not the legal man and then getting rolled up. The greatest of crimes! Big ECW chants for a very ECW-like slapfight. Credible does some shitty chops and then takes some non-shitty ones. Lynn does a really good sunset flip roll-up out of a corner float-over which is sick. That's Incredible teased early, as is the cradle piledriver. Credible gets sent to the apron off a whip and soon goes up top for a crossbody, but Lynn rolls through for a really sloppy two-count. Credible superkick for two.

That's Incredible tease again, Lynn rolls up, Credible rolls up while grabbing the ropes! The ref didn't see it! Oh wait, he did. The bell guy didn't see it, though, which is weird, because he's sitting next to the commentators.... Wait a minute, now the ref DIDN'T see it?! Credible wins? I now no longer know what was the botch and what was the intended finish. "Bullshit" chants as both guys try to have a pull-apart brawl in the crowd to salvage this.

Sub-3 minutes and with a botched finish. This is not how you treat Jerry Lynn!

 

[Sky]

Entry #1020
Perry Saturn vs. Kenzo Suzuki
NWA-TNA PPV #50: 1st Anniversary Show - June 18, 2003​

Okay, yeah, I can see how this one would blow. After a recap where they show the "Puppet wanking in a bin" segment again, here's Kenzo Suzuki (representing WJ, so that's exactly aging this segment lmao) vs. not-quite-as-on-drugs-as-he-was-going-to-be Perry Saturn.

This is allegedly a NJPW vs. WJ match. Both guys hit a clothesline and mug for the crowd. Saturn gets a bit of control and starts arse-bumping Suzuki in the corner. Crowd is so quiet. Saturn tries a German suplex but Suzuki kicks him in the dick in full view of the ref. Knee lift wipes out Saturn and Suzuki does some basics, getting two off a suplex. Saturn gets a few roll-ups, hands full of tights. He tries a springboard dropkick, neither guy is in position so it misses, but he gets two anyway. Saturn botches a scoop slam and falls on his backside, and as I type that he immediately botches again by missing a springboard splash. As Tenay is talking about the planned Kenzo Suzuki/Goldberg match, Suzuki hits a spear in a great bit of timing.

Saturn absolutely head-drops Suzuki with a German, then lets his opponent do a spinebuster bump near him. Because I can't call what he was doing "hitting" a spinebuster. Saturn hits an elbow and goes for the pin but suddenly Justin Credible pops up from the previous match and whacks him with a kendo stick! The Lynn/Credible brawl continues and kills any chance of a finish this match. According to the Observer, interpromotional politics precluded a clean finish here. Oh, those Japanese promotions, not even willing to let their young lions take a loss.

Not like it would have mattered, this was sloppy as a slopful of slop. Somehow Kenzo Suzuki was the better worker, which shows you how badly Saturn had lost it after his time loving a mop.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1021
K-Krush vs. Hermie Sadler
NWA-TNA PPV #4 - July 10, 2002​

Okay, now I've got to do this. Truth facing off against a racing driver. I can't fucking stand this feud, as it's weirdly racial and also involves a non-wrestler who's here on the basis of being Jeff Jarrett's bro. It qualifies for a Cagematch rating by a margin of only seven seconds, and the hivemind has decreed it a 1.40/10. Does it hold up to that low standard?

Truth gets heat on the mic and inspires revulsion from a woman in a 5XL nWo shirt. Kick off with a shoving match, Truth bashes Sadler but misses a kick and gets crotched in the corner. TO THE OUTSIDE where the scrawny car man applies ground-and-pound. Truth chokes but misses a punch and gets kicked in the balls. Mounted punches, which Truth does a flop for. Commentary peaks the mic with their love for Sadler. Scissors kick downs Sadler, and Truth tries to pin him three times, once with one finger. "They don't teach you suplexes in NASCAR, do they?" -Ed Ferrara. Truth challenges the ref before hitting a cocky powerslam. Another one finger pin gets two.

Now Truth does a Figure Four and grabs the ropes. The ref doesn't see it, but the pit crew do. Sadler manages to reverse it. Headscissors attempt reversed into a Hermie Sadler powerbomb outta nowhere. Truth misses a dropkick but gets a roll-up and gets his foot on the ropes to win. Truth keeps attacking, so... the ref reverses the decision! What?? It's so weird to see that rule actually enforced for once, and it's to make your future World Champion look like a fool against a racing driver.

More to the point: why the hell is Truth getting clowned on by a racing driver? This is what makes it so clear there was no plan to put a belt on him from the beginning. Russo was on the weirdest stuff.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1022
Mike Sanders vs. Jonah Adelman
NWA-TNA PPV #33 - February 19, 2003​

Time to make a quick stopover in Mike Sanders country! Where everything is Above Average! Probably the shittest of the WCW young guns in 2000, he was a Russo favourite and therefore made it over to TNA. Here he is, set to face a Tough Enough washout/future drug addict in his first ever televised match. What a time to be watching wrestling. 1.55/10 says Cagematch. I wouldn't be surprised.

Mike Sanders' entourage consists of Glenn Gilbertti (ick) and some valet. He teaches Jonah to work the hard cam and offers to give him rights to bang the valet if he'll give up and defect to SEX. Jonah does some pretty decent armdrags, which is a way to win my heart. Sanders trips him to begin his heat segment early on. Do you like stomps? And ROPE CHOKING?! On goes the chinlock and Jonah slips out of position midway through, mother of God. Jonah recovers but gets cut off by a dropkick (that misses) for two.

Boot choke by Sanders, but he misses a fist drop and gets rolled up. Sanders goes for a moonsault but misses (it was intended, rather than it being a botch, that's an important distinction. Jonah recovers enough to do his basic moves. Big powerslam for two. On goes an STF... but the mystery valet comes up on the apron and gets her boobs out. It's not censored because it was far enough away from the camera that you can't see a nipple, but yeah, that's exposed breast on my TNA Plus. Jonah immediately turns into a horny moron for long enough to get Sanders to recover and hit the 3.0 for the win.

Really basic match with a dumb finish, which somehow puts it among the best non-green matches in this thread.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1023
Disgraceland vs. Shark Boy
NWA-TNA PPV #33 - February 19, 2003​

This was going to be another Mike Sanders match, but come on. It's fuckin' DISGRACELAND! As if having a team of Elvis impersonators the previous year wasn't enough, we've got another Elvis impersonator. What isn't fun about this is that he's introduced by Disco Inferno talking about being "Head of Character Development" for Vince Russo's SEX faction and having created this Elvis character. And it's Luther Biggs. Doing the worst possible Elvis impersonation and looking less like the King than even Jimmy Yang did. It's a joke, yeah, but it's still wasting PPV time. He's against Shark Boy. Go on, then.

This isn't an absolute squash, to be fair. Shark Boy does get pummeled, but he gets a couple of dropkicks enough. Disgraceland isn't a body guy, and he doesn't have good moves, but at least he's a fan of backbreakers (sidebreakers) and sandwiches. TO THE OUTSIDE we go. He mugs for the camera and eats sandwiches. He's a one-joke character. Mike Sanders is on commentary introducing SEX's new idea "SEX Idol", which isn't a reality show about people having sex (it's been done!). Anyway, back in the ring, Disgraceland goes up top and misses a leg drop. Shark Boy gets a springboard crossbody while Sanders suggests they have Hot Lesbian Action and Tenay talks about Disco's creative ideas involving aliens. Dead Sea Drop teased but Disgraceland is too big and gets a neckbreaker for three. Big sandwich celebration... until Jorge Estrada shows up for an Elvis fight! He gets wrecked though.

Yeah, this match was just awful. Disgraceland is a go-nowhere character concept and fittingly it's gone nowhere.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1024
The Harris Brothers vs. The Sandman/Steve Corino
NWA-TNA PPV #36 - March 12, 2003​

Yeah, this was going to be the second Mike Sanders match too, but I guess it's time to shit on the Harris boys again!

Sandman insists on doing his big entrance to his Metallica-ripoff theme, which sees him go into the crowd and share his beer. While he's dong that, the match starts without him. Corino tries to fight 2-on-1 but soon eats the H-Bomb to lose in sub-30 seconds. What? At last, Sandman's arived and they brawl into the crowd. They head to the back where Corino follows. Sandman does a few of the worst bin shots I've ever seen and Corino blades because of course he does. They use bits of wood panelling and grating and the Nazis come out on top.

Corino jobbed out, Sandman looks like a bad partner, and only Russo's friends get over. Terrible!

 

[Sky]

Entry #1025
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Mike Sanders
NWA-TNA PPV #36 - March 12, 2003​

Okay, here's the Sanders match. The gimmick of this is that Sanders is up against a mystery opponent - an "enhancement talent" he thinks, and says on screen - and Glenn Gilbertti doesn't want to see him again if he loses. Easy stuff, right? He dedicates his win to Vince Russo... and it turns out to be Hacksaw! Who is wearing overalls for some reason! Better than blue trunks exposing the old man bod. Absolute match made in hell here, let's watch.

In true 1980s style, the match starts when only one man is in the ring so they can stall. 2x4 removed from the ring, Sanders is in, and now... let there be a shitty lock-up! Duggan sells for nothing and sends Sanders out again. When Sanders comes back, that same sentence happens again. The brawl continues TO THE OUTSIDE and Duggan abuses the camera and the announce table. Return to the ring and Sanders gets a bit of edge with ROPE CHOKING! Come on, Duggan doesn't even sell rope choking. Even Hogan sold that. On goes the chinlock and Duggan's already in mid-comeback. The USA chant revives Duggan but he's cut off by a knee lift forcing him to bump for the first time.

ROPE CHOKING continues. On goes the chinlock again. Eventually the USA chants revive Duggan and he does his classic moveset of punching, punching, and more punching. Sanders dodges a charge, goes for a moonsault but misses. Three-point stance, clothesline, done. Out comes Gilbertti to shit on Sanders, attacks Duggan, gets 2v1'd, and then chops out Duggan's leg to get the edge. I hope this doesn't lead to anything in future... oh fuck, it does.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1026
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan/Moondog Spot vs. Glenn Gilbertti/Mike Sanders
NWA-TNA PPV #37 - March 19, 2003​

Well, at least it isn't a Duggan vs. Disco singles match, is all I'll say! Also, Duggan kicked off this episode in a cold open going off on a rant about the Iraq War and leading a Pledge of Allegiance. He'd fit right in in 2025 WWE, sadly. Now he's here with the only man beardier and more limited than him.

Oop, never mind, SEX attack Duggan together mid-entrance. They send hm into the ring and Duggan's trying to sell as little as possible. Out comes Moondog Goddamn Spot with his bone. Gilbertti makes his escape and shouts at Mike Tenay on commentary, causing the camera to miss Spot's entire shine. At least it's better than watching him try to wrestle. Gilbertti leaves Sanders for dead, and a bone shot and a knee drop from Duggan makes it all academic. The ref even gives a fast count. Did the opening bell even ring? Who knows? Who cares?

At least Spot never wrestled in TNA again. For real. I'm not going to spring another Spot TNA match on you. Thank fuck.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1027
Jeff Jarrett/D'Lo Brown/Dusty Rhodes vs. Next Generation
NWA-TNA PPV #37 - March 19, 2003​

This is only a 3/10 according to Cagematch, but it was on the same show and just looks like it stinks. So here you go. Next Generation is a team of second gen flops: Brian Lawler, David Flair, and Erik Watts. Who the hell decided Erik Watts would be good for TV in 2003? Pretty sure that guy came out of the womb green and actively botching. He's the leader of the heel team in the Jeff Jarrett Match of the Week. Let's see how badly it goes.

D'Lo against Lawler first, and D'Lo shows off both kinds of atomic drop. He's about to do his leg drop but Lawler sits up so D'Lo just puts him down again. That's good stuff. Lawler recovers with an eye rake but wastes his heat time dancing. D'Lo clonks Lawler's head against his partners' and hits Sky High but David Flair breaks it up. D'Lo wipes out Flair with cool armdrags and stuff. In comes Erik Watts and immediately gets tripped and looks lke a moron. He starts the heat segment with a chokeslam. Ref distraction to allow for an extended beatdown? You know we've got it! David Flair does not look like a wrestler no matter how he tries. At least Lawler has some ability. He goes for some small joint manipulation (biting the fingers).

Watts makes the mistake of taunting D'Lo and allows a recovery. A front suplex on to the ropes though, and Watts is still on top. They're now doing every tag team heel heat you can think of, except anything that's good or memorable. D'Lo gets a spinning side slam off, which allows him to give a hot tag to a completely fresh Jarrett. He cleans up and then teams up with Dusty to pummel Watts. Dusty goes out of the ring though which lets Lawler and Flair team up on Jarrett. D'Lo trips Lawler and Flair takes the Stroke to end it. Post-match D'Lo challenges for the title, Ron Killings shows up to celebrate with them and then powerbombs Jarrett to turn heel right the fuck out of nowhere. It's Vince Russo booking, baby!

Self-explanatory, isn't it? You get Brian Lawler, David Flair, and Erik Watts all on one team. In 2003.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1028
New Jack vs. Slash
Hard 10 Tournament First Round Match
NWA-TNA PPV #47 - May 28, 2003​

This isn't the match I was going to watch on this show but apparently there are three shitty matches on this show. Such is the life of a wrestling suckage watcher. Anyway, this is the confusing Hard 10 Tournament! Where you get points for how much you hit your opponent with plunder. And yet you have to win by a clear 2 points which explains why matches go on far too long. And New Jack, a month or so removed from the Gypsy Joe incident, is doing this against Wolfie D in an edgelord gimmick. Also, Mike Sanders is on commentary which continues to erode my sanity. 2.22/10 says Cagematch. Let's get right into it.

Jack starts by rolling out to get a bin lid but Slash jumps at him. It's Slash who gets the first bin lid shot, but New Jack returns fire. Both guys use the bin itself right after. Slash charges with a chair but Jack gets a boot up to stop it, drapes him on the apron and does a running chair shot. Slash forgets to sell though and soon we're back in the ring where Slash hits several bin shots. 6-3 to Slash now. We're back on the ramp now, and apparently if you block a weapon shot your opponent didn't hit anything. Who knew? Slash unloads some more and it's 8-4. New Jack tosses a chair full force at Slash's face like a true technician of the game.

New Jack gets a 2x4 out and Mike Sanders at the desk makes a shitty "wood" joke. He whacks the plank on a bin lid that's on Slash's cock, then does some more weapon shots to tie it 8-8. A trade of baking sheet shots makes it 12-11, and before I can think there's a double down and it's 13-13. Well, not double down. More New Jack leaning on the corner because he probably can't trust himself to stand up after bumping. New Jack teases a suplex off the apron, but just tosses Slash off the table to put a merciful end to this.

No rhyme or reason, just mindlessly whacking each other, what's the point?

 

[Sky]

Entry #1029
Kid Kash vs. Trinity
NWA-TNA PPV #47 - May 28, 2003​

Okay, this is a weird one. There was a strange undercurrent of Kid Kash in intergender matches at this time, and there was a masked luchador ruining Kash's life. So, those stories are one and the same, and the masked luchador is Trinity! Also Kash is injured because another woman (Nurse Veronica) attacked him.

Kash is in the ring and Trinity boots him in the balls before undershooting on a PESCADOOO. Weirdly botched rana on the steps by Trinity. Back in the ring, a good dropkick for two. A lot of pinfall attempts before Kash goes for the Iron Claw?! I have no memory of this being a regular move he did but commentary is really selling it. Trinity hits Kash in the balls again before going up top and blowing whatever the fuck spot that was supposed to be. Trinity does a powerbomb with a really harsh drop. She then goes up top and seems to be setting up a moonsault-catch spot, but both people are somehow out of position and it just looks awful. Kash with the Owen Hart Special to give a humane ending to this one.

Felt like everything Trinity did was either a botch or a low blow. Kash certainly wasn't perfect either. What was the point?

 

[Sky]

Entry #1030
Raven vs. Glenn Gilbertti
NWA-TNA PPV #47 - May 28, 2003​

Proof there is no loving god: that match. Why would anyone allow Disco Inferno to work singles in 2003? Why is he number 1 contender to Jeff Jarrett's title? Why is this match being booked, where you either devalue your top contender or even further devalue Raven? Why do they continue to insist on this SEX stable? Why is Disco Inferno employed at all? Cagematch says 1.73/10 and I'm willing to accept that without even watching.

Neither man enters down the ramp. Disco tries to back away slowly but has a chair. He misses. So yeah, we're immediately TO THE OUTSIDE for furniture-bashing royale. Into the crowd we go to pop Nashville's finest. Raven hits a suplex on concrete and whips Disco a couple of times into the walls. He crushes Disco's throat with a chair and gives him a brief visit to the dancing girl cages. Camera misses how Disco gets the advantage after that. We get back into the ring and literally all Disco can do is boots and arm clubs. Raven does a Cobra Clutch and Disco seemingly tries to boogie out. Either that or his selling is stupid. Disco escapes out of nowhere, does a ripcord clothesline, and trips over a chair that's in the ring. Wow. Could he look more stupid?

After a corner punchfest Raven re-applies the Cobra Clutch but Disco drops off with a pull of the hair. Disco tries to steal the trip-into-a-chair Raven does but Raven counters it and tosses the chair at his face. Then he does the move properly. The most listless right hands follow. The Harris boys (fucking hell) turn up to attack but Julio Dinero and Alexis Laree show up to take the brunt. The young Mickie James takes a hell of a chokeslam. In the chaos, Disco takes control and shittily attacks the left leg. He does an ankle lock (oh, it's crap, it's DAMN crap). Raven gets a rope break but Disco soon trips him again and reapplies the hold. Eventually Raven gets an enzuigiri. Time for Raven's comeback, and got to hand it to him, Disco bumps decently well for this offence. Raven does an enzuigiri on the ropes, which he shouldn't be able to do as his plant leg is the damaged left. Chartbuster countered into a clothesline for two.

Out comes Sonny Siaki, because one overbook isn't enough. Raven Effect DDT but Siaki yanks the ref out of the ring! The resulting prolonged distraction lets Disco hit the low blow and Chartbuster, but Raven kicks out. Way to make your top contender look weak. REF BUMP because of course. Raven wrecks Disco with a kick but no ref. Out comes Sandman, who's angry that Raven didn't join his ECW nostalgia team and lets his cane say that for him. Jeff Jarrett shows up (of course) to clear Sandman off. Raven Effect again (which Disco forgets to bump for and stays on his feet)... OH SHIT IT'S VINCE RUSSO and he's got a bat with which to clobber Raven. Disco's on top, he wins, fuck off.

What the.... so stupid. Somehow manages to make both men look weak. The top beneficiary from this match is, as always, Russo.