Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

[Grimoire Lenin]

Vince Russo is like cancer metastasizing throughout the body, anything he touches that isn't properly dealt with by a chemotherapeutic higher authority he destroys.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #833
Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards
WWF No Way Out - February 25, 2001​

Got no energy left today but we need to make a dent in the low scorers before the Network dies, which is checks in 25 days, and I've still got checks 30 low-scoring matches on it to do. Actually, that isn't too bad. Anyway, here's this! A match between RTC mode Richards and Lawler. If Lawler wins, the Kat's gonna get naked for everyone; if he loses, she's property of Right to Censor. Yes, that was the real storyline.

Since Lawler is in this match, we get a brief early look at Taz at the booth. I'm honestly surprised at how tall Richards is. In my mind, he's among the cruiserweights, but he's 6'2" and 230. He berates Lawler but gets punched up Memphis-style and has to roll out. He's already losing his fucking mind. He fails to hit a hip toss and gets clotheslined. Fist drop by Lawler as Richards goes out to rest again. Richards tries to toss Lawler out but gets reversed and we're headed TO THE OUTSIDE! Ivory is sandwiched between Lawler and Kat; Kat gives her a slap. Meanwhile Richards bashes Lawler into the post and rolls him back in for a two-count.

Richards lines up his stablemate's Ho Train Respectable Women's Rail Transit but misses. Time for Lawler to do like a million mounted punches. Bulldog for two, and clearly the crowd has dogs on the mind because they want puppies. Richards gets a suplex for two. Ivory distracts the ref while Richards uses a chair, but Lawler punches him in the hanging chad and hits a couple DDTs. Visual pin but the ref's distracted by Ivory and then Kat. Richards swings the Women's Title belt but Lawler ducks it and decks him. Then he slams Ivory. As Lawler and Teddy Long struggle to remove Ivory from the ring, Richards goes for the Women's Title shot again... LAWLER DUCKS AGAIN! Kat's got the belt, Richards is holding Lawler... HE TURNS AROUND AND LAWLER EATS THE BELT! Weaponised You Know This Spot! Richards gets the three. RTC swarm Kat and wrap her in a bag.

The finish spot was meandering and awkward and Richards looked really weak, missing two belt shots in a row and pretty much getting nothing all match until he got the fluke pin. Also, this meant nothing. Kat refused to take part in the storyline, Lawler quit with her, and then they divorced and Lawler came back as if nothing had ever happened. Otherwise, not too bad.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #834
Bret Hart vs. Goldberg
for the vacant WCW World Heavyweight Championship
WCW Monday Nitro - December 20, 1999​

Cunt. That's right, I'm going to kick off this review with just the word "cunt". Completely apropos of nothing, not attached to anything. Just cunt. Why? I don't know. It spices things up in the midst of all this dogass wrestling. You know this one. There was a silly little screwjob at Starrcade and Vince Russo has taken credit for it because worked shoot gonna worked shoot. They're rerunning the match for the title.

Also, Bret Hart is suffering from a concussion right now, but he's still doing the match. Lock-up and Goldberg is just too powerful for Bret. Neither lock-up does any good for him. Goldberg's doing the prerequisite Stuff in the Corner, Bret tries to attack the knees but Goldberg counters him. TO THE OUTSIDE we go as Goldberg starts to brawl. Bret gets the edge with an eye rake and then walk-and-brawls him to a spot where Goldberg whips Bret into the barricade. Back in-ring, Goldberg snaps into a powerslam and tries an ankle lock which forces a rope break.

Bret's all in on attacking the knees. He wraps one around the rope but Goldberg shoves him off. He moves on to punches to the midsection then re-wraps Goldberg's leg. Goldberg's recovering, though. He lines up a punch and BUMPS THE REF OF COURSE. Bret kicks Goldberg in the dick and goes for a Figure Four. Out come Kevin Nash and Scott Hall with baseball bats, they look like they're headed for Bret but they go for Goldberg. Bret joins in the fun. Goldberg's selling like his back's legit broken so he doesn't move. Roddy Piper of all people comes out for the save, shielding Goldberg with his body, Bret's also on top of Goldberg though so that's a pin and Bret wins the title. Jeff Jarrett's out with a guitar and spray paint. nWo Silver and Black babeyyyyy. Bret tries to say something but his mic doesn't work.

Gee WCW, how come you get to negate years' worth of story to re-form the nWo TWICE in one year? The band is back together, but WCW's viewerbase is fucking right off. In truth, the match wasn't bad up until the Russo nonsense.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #835
Ernest "The Cat" Miller vs. Horace Hogan
WCW The Great American Bash - June 13, 1999​

Speaking of WCW 1999, it's time to take out the Great American Trash. There's two more low-scorers in this edition of the Bash that I haven't covered yet, and they're looooooow. Minus 1 star from Dave and an eye-watering 0.69/10 from the souls emmured in the Cagematch walls. You can kind of see why, given that this is a match where Cat is the worker.

This was billed as a match vs. Scott Norton, but Norton just isn't there for some reason. Out comes Horace with a mic, and cuts what he thinks is a babyface promo. He doesn't get the reaction he desires. Cat still wants Norton. Horace starts the match with the same old generic shit. Punch, clothesline, stomp. And a BOOT CHOKE in the corner! He tosses Cat about and does illegal moves (as an alleged babyface) before we go TO THE OUTSIDE for a wander. Big kick by Cat takes control, and he presses his advantage with a choke. A slam... and another choke! Out Horace goes in front of Sonny Onoo who gets some shots in, but backs off like an Asian stereotype coward when Horace stands. This lets Cat attack and whip Horace into the guardrail. Both guys go for eye rakes.

Back in the ring Horace gets an elbow drop for two. Cat punches Horace in the hanging chad with the ref looking right at him, with no DQ called. They didn't even bother to get Onoo to distract the ref? BOOT CHOKING! Cat still wants Norton. Schiavone calls this match "brutal". Yep. Big boot and splash by Horace for two. He has Cat lifted but now Onoo comes for the distraction. Cat tries to attack from behind but Horace backdrops him out. Onoo puts a loaded shoe on Cat's foot, which he uses on Horace while the ref's distracted for the three.

A match devoid of heat and wrestling skill. This is why aliens don't come to us.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #836
Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper
for the Presidency of WCW
WCW The Great American Bash - June 13, 1999​

And finally for this show (I'm so glad I can say that), we've got this match for the increasingly-meaningless Presidency of WCW, featuring two escapees from a high-security retirement facility. A DUD from Dave and 0.90/10 from the hivemind. It's time to go walking(-and-brawling) with dinosaurs!

Asya and Arn are on Team Flair, while Piper works alone. We kick off with both guys hitting their chops. Back body drop which Flair takes on his side. He begs for mercy but eats a Shane McMahon-esque punch flurry and flops. Piper gets in a bite. Ref tries to stop Piper from getting DQ'd for Kicking Too Much Ass which gives Flair an opening but he's turned into a very geriatric backslide for two. Flair and the ref have a shoving match and Flair COMES OFF WORSE FROM IT and goes to the outside. Piper gets a shoulderblock and pounds away, biting too. Flair wants no more of this offence but gets a cheeky little kick to Piper's hanging chad which allows him some respite.

TO THE OUTSIDE goes Piper so Arn can get some shots in. Flair distracts the ref so Asya can do an eye rake. Another distraction lets Flair punt Piper in the nuts full force. Piper's down but he grabs Flair's trunks because someone at WCW thinks we need to see old man ass at all times. Flair goes to the top rope but that never works for him. You'd think he'd learn! Piper in with the clotheslines but Flair gets a shot in and sends him back outside. Piper decks Arn with one punch and fights back into the ring with a sunset flip for two. On goes the sleeper, Flair's fading, but manages to push him off. Arn provides a distraction so Flair can get out an international object and kill Piper with it. Delayed pin though so only two.

On goes the Figure Four and Arn grabs Flair's arms for leverage. Out comes Buff Bagwell, though, to attack Arn and Flair. The bell rings for Flair's win by DQ, and Piper attacks Bagwell for screwing him out of the presidency. Arn's back with a spinebuster, and everyone hates Buff Bagwell now, I guess. This sets up the Bagwell/Piper boxing match so that's a negative against it. Second ref gets murdered as Piper gives Bagwell a belt whipping.

They're great crowd workers... but they're so old... and it's such a shite finish.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #837
The Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan
World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender's Match
WWE The Great American Bash - July 24, 2005​

We next skip six years ahead to a completely different company! For the longest time, the Bash was the only WCW PPV name that ever got revived, and yet so many of the matches were mistakes. Don't believe me? Check out my reviews of the 2004 edition! One year later, it's still not great, with two low-scorers at this show, plus a third I wanted to pay a visit to because Dave scored it lower. First off, 2.00/10 says the hivemind, for the UPN-mandated burial of Muhammad Hassan. They could have just edited out the terrorism on the day of the 7/7 bombers, and this could have been avoided.

But they didn't. Instead they bring him out on a giant prayer mat lifted by five guys in ski masks. Hassan (in a promo that lasts forever) insists that if he loses to Taker he'll never come back to SmackDown. Way to telegraph the finish, dumbass. Taker Entrance Watch (it's been a while since we've done one of those): 3 minutes, 6 seconds. The not-terrorists surround the ring for this match.

Hassan ducks away from a few Taker shots, including one that barely clips him, and gets Taker in the corner for some punches. Ref breaks it up which lets Taker overpower Hassan and get him in the corner instead. The™ Best™ Pure™ Striker™ crumples Hassan and downs him with a big boot for two. Taker goes Old School and then hits a Flatliner for two. Ref wants Taker to stop beating Hassan in the corner but Taker chases the ref away. That's pretty neat. He goes for a cornered knee but Hassan dodges and Taker bumps TO THE OUTSIDE to be beaten up by ski masks. Ref's too distracted by one of them to deal with the others. Stair bash and BOOT CHOKE by Hassan.

Back in the ring now, and more boot choking. Hassan then distracts the ref so a ski mask can get the choke. DDT for two. ON GOES THE CHINLOCK! Taker lifts out and backs Hassan into the ropes. He no-sells a kick and out-brawls Hassan to the ground. He flips out to try and take it to the ski masks, but one of them has garrote wire to choke Taker out. He's easy pickings for Hassan's Camel Clutch but Taker gets to his feet little by little and hits an electric chair suplex. Taker does corner clotheslines, fights off a ski mask... hits Snake Eyes which Hassan sells like ass... clears out more ski masks and hits an elbow for two. Tombstone teased but Hassan drops out. Taker ducks a clothesline and finishes Hassan with a chokeslam.

Post-match Taker gets swarmed by the totally-not-terrorists and fights them off one by one. Including smashing one guy's throat with a steel chair. One gets chokeslammed on the outside, one gets bowled into the Spanish announce table. Taker has Daivari but garrote guy's back. Taker clears off Daivari before hitting the Tombstone on garrote guy. Daivari gets buried face first in the announce table. Hassan tries to crawl away but Taker chokeslams him on the stage, then opens a hole in it and uses the Last Ride to send Hassan through it. Presumably, to his death.

Well, that's one way to bury a guy and send him out of the company! Not really much as Hassan was green and it's in the same style almost every guy in WWE had during this era. Taker kills a gimmick 7-on-1, move on.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #838
The Mexicools vs. The Blue World Order
WWE The Great American Bash - July 24, 2005​

This isn't a low-scorer but that's probably just because it's 5 seconds too short to review on Cagematch. Juvi, Psicosis and Super Crazy playing stereotypes and facing off against the full bWo complement. Dave rated this lower than both low-scorers on this show so it must REALLY suck right?

Mexicools all come out on their Juan Deeres while the medical staff are removing Hassan's corpse from the hole in the cage. Crazy offers the gift of a rake to Hugo and Carlos. The bWo come out on blue wheels. They look like such jobbers. Big EC-Dub chants as there was a bit of ECW fever in the air given the recent success of One Night Stand.

Juvi vs. Nova to start off. Juvi's really tiny when you look at it. Both guys block a hip toss and Nova turns Juvi over. Structure of the match breaks down very early on. Meanie corner splash on both Psicosis and Crazy. Crazy tries to ambush Nova, gets the Hogan point, and Juvi uses the distraction to hit a springboard kick. Another spinning kick gets Nova on the ground. Juvi immediately slows the match down by working the arm. Nova starts to no-sell (he's Nova-ing up, which is appropriate) but a kick by Juvi stops that. Now Crazy, who does a quick sliding dropkick. Juvi again who continues to grab the arm.

Nova gets a big boot to down Juvi, fights off Psicosis, and tags in to Richards who does his thing with the hot tag. He dodges a crossbody, hits a Nash-esque side slam to Psicosis, but Crazy breaks the pin. Meanie deals with Crazy. Psicosis dodges a bronco buster attempt. The ref's distracted by a brawl on the outside so Crazy can hit a moonsault. Psicosis takes it with a top rope leg drop.

There really wasn't any structure to this match and then it just ended. Meh.

 

[Chris]

I wanted to buy this PPV to watch that match as a 9 year old but my dad said no

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #839
Torrie Wilson vs. Melina
Bra and Panties Match
WWE The Great American Bash - July 24, 2005​

Finally for the '05 Bash, here's a match that got 1.44/10 from the hivemind. Funny thing is that immediately after the Hassan burial we got a promo by Torrie Wilson saying she was going to show that women can kick ass too. And she was going to show that by... participating in WWE's favourite demeaning spectacle, apparently. Also, Candice Michelle is special ref for this one.

We kick off with a lock-up and Torrie uses her power edge. Melina uses a hair toss but Torrie catches her with a headscissors. Torrie rolls her up with a handful of trousers (finally, an example of that being relevant) and then uses an abdominal stretch to take off Melina's shirt. She almost wins with another roll-up and waistband pull but Melina tosses her off and causes her to bump on the outside full force. Melina has Torrie down and de-topped in short order. Crowd wants puppies. ROPE CHOKING! Wait, can you lose a B&P match by DQ? Screaming all the way, Melina goes on the attack and does a mounted choke.

Torrie regains the edge with a kick, a few clotheslines, and a drop. Floatover from a snap suplex as Torrie tries to render Melina bottomless. Melina drops Torrie's throat on to the top ropes and removes Torrie's pink bottoms to end it. Post-match Melina attacks Candice so she gets together with Torrie to strip Melina off. Then Candice takes it off too.

Typical Bra and Panties trash.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #840
Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Torrie's Career on the Line
WWE Judgment Day - May 16, 2004​

It only feels appropriate to continue on the path of "bad women's wrestling" from here, and so that takes us to Judgment Day '04. Feels like Torrie Wilson was Miss SmackDown at the time, so they just kept putting her on PPV despite (1) having no title to fight for and (2) her being limited in-ring. But at least she was better than Dawn Marie. This was part of an angle where GM Kurt Angle claimed Torrie Wilson was responsible for him being wheelchair-bound, so she'd be forced to wrestle Dawn Marie and if she lost she'd be fired. On a show that's known for the Eddie vs. JBL bloodbath and absolutely nothing else, this is the worst-rated match by the hivemind at 1.88/10. Let's see why!

This is also a bit of a ghost of Torrie's past, as Dawn had fucked her father to death just over a year ago. Remember that angle? They start with some awkward looking lock-ups and the occasional shove as the crowd wants puppies already. Torrie brings the hair-mares and hits a dropkick to Dawn's back for two. They then do a sunset flip spot where Dawn's shoulder is up for the entirety. A few clotheslines by Torrie, who soon ends up on the apron. She dodges some stuff, goes up top, and goes for a crossbody but misses. She's selling her face hard. So Dawn does a few facebusters. ROPE CHOKING! And CHOKING OVER THE APRON! And then a... drop of some part of the arm over the apron.

Torrie gets sent to the outside and Dawn kicks her while she's down. Then she hits a leg drop. Dawn does what she thinks is a sleeper back on the inside, but Torrie recovers. Clotheslines and a neckbreaker for two. Torrie cuts off Dawn's attempts to get a corner charge and sunset flips for two. She tries a roll-up with a handful of tights - and rips Dawn's tights right up so her ass is in plain sight. Of course. Because it's women in 2004. Dawn snaps on Torrie, fully free-cheeking it, and gives her a faceful of stuff for two. Before the camera can get more shots of Dawn, Torrie suddenly gets a backslide for the win.

Very typical women's fare for 2004. No in-ring acumen and the entire point was to attract horny teens.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #841
Jacqueline (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero
for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship, Chavo Has One Arm Behind His Back
WWE Judgment Day - May 16, 2004​

As it happens, there's a match on the same show that's too short to review on Cagematch, but it's a DUD from Dave and the lineup interests me. It's also another way the pre-enlightened wrestling world treated women: "lol it's WOMEN wrestling MEN! Isn't that WACKY????" and the joke was that a woman - even an incredibly tough one like Jacqueline - was even trying to wrestle a man, even when giving the man a disadvantage. And it was always the Cruiserweight title. Jacqueline was the third woman to hold this title. Let's see how this title defence went.

Also, this was the time when Chavo brought Chavo Classic to his matches. Chavo gets a kick off and corners Jacqueline. That arm doesn't seem very tightly bound behind his back. He's reduced primarily to stomping. Eventually Jacqueline gets a headscissors and sends him (awkwardly) into the steel posts. Jacqueline mounts Chavo and tries to choke him but Chavo backs her into the corner. Now Jacqueline's unleashing some heavy kicks of her own. She trips Chavo Classic off the apron with a dropkick which lets Chavo reclaim control. Classic tries to distract the ref which lets Jacqueline go south of the border.

Chavo rolls to the floor where Classic surreptitiously unties him. He has to kayfabe pretend to be tied (unlike the rest of this match where he's only legit pretending to be tied) until the ref is distracted. He does two-handed moves while Classic is engaging the ref. Classic picks up a chair which occupies Lil' Naitch enough for Chavo to hit a Gory Bomb for the finish. New champ. The crowd is deathly silent.

Because that's why you have a Cruiserweight Division. Shenanigans, sports entertainment, and hamstringing one of your better performers by preventing him from using his arm. Worthless stuff.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #842
Fulfill Your Fantasy Schoolgirl Battle Royal
for the WWE Women's Championship
WWE Taboo Tuesday - October 19, 2004​

We're still on the topic of women being treated like shit, aren't we? Of course we are, it's 2004! Fans voted on what sexualised outfit they wanted to see all the Divas™ in, and the result was schoolgirls! And this is for Trish Stratus' title, because even if you've got a belt you're not immune to being a piece of meat because John Laurinaitis told you to! And speaking of belts, those skirts are going to be short enough to count as belts. Who's in class today, then?

• Trish Stratus (champ, who in kayfabe hates this and in real life probably hated this)
• Jazz (who de-sleeves her shirt to show off them muscles)
• Nidia (billed from Puerto Rico all of a sudden, because gotta have a forced Hispanic babyface)
• Gail Kim (billed from Korea because obviously you can only be Canadian if you're white)
• Molly Holly (who is relatively sensibly dressed, and thus Lawler isn't perving over her)
• Victoria (who, by the pace of her theme, I can tell is a face)
• Stacy Keibler (who probably has her Miss Hancock costume still in reserve if they ever have a sexy teacher theme)

That's it? Just seven women in this battle royal? Oh yeah, because it's a women's battle royal you don't have to go over the rope. We're in mindless scuffle mode already, and fans want puppies. They get some as Nidia is de-shirted, just before she's kicked out by Jazz. Victoria treats Jazz to a back suplex (wow, an actual wrestling move!) before she scuffles with Molly. Then Victoria ducks a lariat and slides into a dropkick to send Jazz off the apron. Two birds, one stone! Gail Kim's turn to scrap with Victoria and tries to headscissors her out, but Victoria holds on and Gail doesn't. I hate whenever I have to put Gail Kim in this thread. She deserved better.

Trish vs. Stacy now, with ROPE CHOKING and that boot choke Stacy always does. Molly stops Stacy from eliminating Trish which feels unwise. They get together to do a double suplex on Stacy but Victoria catches her. Trish's skirt is way too high. That boot choke again. Then the Molly/Trish alliance resumes as they conspire to catapult Victoria out. Trish uses the ropes to damage Stacy's famous legs, Molly hits a suplex (wrestling move!) before Trish chokes Stacy with her own hair ribbons. Trish holds Stacy back for Molly but You Kn... wait, no you don't, Stacy just fights out on her own. Trish is barely clinging on to her spot but survives. Molly eliminates Stacy, leaving two heels, and then Trish eliminates Molly to retain.

Total mindless nonsense designed to appeal to, again, horny teens.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #843
Eugene vs. Eric Bischoff
Hair vs. Hair Match
WWE Taboo Tuesday - October 19, 2004​

Not a low-scorer, but short and it passes the smell test for this thread (as in, just the lineup stinks of shit). Eugene vs. Bisch. Time for the Vince-style """"comedy""""! This is a match where the stipulation was chosen but not revealed until after the match. In hindsight we all know what it is.

Coach gets up from the Internet Desk or whatever and claps for Bisch. Someone's got a "Bring back La Parka" sign in the crowd. THAT is one of my people. Bisch rips Eugene off the ropes and does a bunch of "karate" kicks. Eugene starts no-selling turnbuckle bashes and seems to be getting a second wind, but Bisch is selling a knee injury to get Eugene to drop his guard. Of course it's a trick and a kick to the head follows... but Eugene no-sells it! He tears off his jacket Hogan-style before introducing an airplane spin. Big boot, Hogan pose, leg drop, done.

Post-match they reveal the results of the poll (winning over Loser Wears a Dress and Loser Becomes Winner's Servant) but Coach comes down and stalls for fucking ever to force a different option. Out comes Vince to lay down the law and stop Bisch from escaping. No matter how many times he tries. The clippers don't seem to work so Eugene tries scissors. Vince then makes Coach wear the dress, and revels in Bisch's greying scalp being revealed.

Pointless match followed by probably the worst head-shaving ever. Unforgivable.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #844
Christy Hemme vs. Carmella DeCesare
Lingerie Pillow Fight
WWE Taboo Tuesday - October 19, 2004​

Oh, but I'm not done with this show. Because we've got a PILLOW FIGHT!! This is between the two remaining Diva Search contestants, and was chosen over an Evening Gown match or an aerobics challenge. God forbid you have women wrestle. To add to the creep factor they have semi-transparent boxes so you can see silhouettes of these women changing.

They stare down and Christy pulls a pad out of Carmella's bra. She throws the pad into the crowd as Carmella is left humiliated by not having as large breasts as expected. Carmella shoves Christy and they unleash the pillows, causing a flurry of feathers. One of them almost bumps the ref. They roll around in the feathers in full catfight mode. Crowd wants puppies despite having puppies. Christy lops Carmella down with a pillow and pins her for three. Despite Carmella's shoulder clearly being up.

Abandons the concept of wrestling.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #845
Konnan vs. Stevie Ray
WCW Slamboree - May 9, 1999​

I should confess - I'm fighting through some pretty severe burnout to get this done before the Network dies. There's just so much, and I'm only one person, who has other shit to do too. And each time I see a matchup like fucking Konnan vs. fucking Stevie Ray I regret ever starting a thread about bad wrestling. It can only be one thing. Stand-up brawling, choking, using the furniture, shenanigans. I beg for death.

And shenanigans are guaranteed as Stevie has both Vincent AND Horace with him. Konnan gets a pop with his catchphrases. Stevie kicks off with some cornered punches. He then misses a corner charge so Konnan can get some of that shine. Konnan uses a flashy little bulldog and a dropkick that doesn't get a full count because Vincent occupies the ref. Stevie kicks Konnan down and sends him out so Vincent and Horace can attack. Back in the ring Konnan gets run over and Stevie drops a palm for two. On goes the CHINLOCK! Konnan fights out, but then there's a huge botch that wrecks the match even harder, where they forget to do a clothesline spot and just stand there awkwardly.

Back to the chinlock. And it's one of those chinlocks that just looks awful. Konnan fights up again but eats a back elbow. Stevie Ray suplex for two. He comes off the second rope for a flying nothing but Konnan gets the boot up... wait, no he doesn't, Stevie's face visibly misses the boot and he sells nothing. Time for Konnan's comeback. He fails to do a leapfrog but manages to do a facebuster. Horace trips Konnan to kill the comeback. Rey Misterio Jr. comes out for the save but is accosted by Vincent and Horace. He's being held back but You Know This Spot. Rey's exploits manage to distract Stevie and send him down with a seated senton as Konnan rolls him up for the win.

These 1999 midcard matches just get worse and worse, it seems. Stevie Ray was as bad as usual, but Konnan really shat the bed harder than I expected. 1.00/10, I shouldn't be surprised.