Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #717
Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant
WWF Championship Tournament Second Round Match
WWF WrestleMania IV - March 27, 1988​

And now on to the second round, and the entire reason this accursed tournament is happening. Hogan vs. Andre. Andre's a heel now, he's under the employ of Ted DiBiase, and now they're going to try and re-run Mania 3's main event. Except it's not in front of 93000 screaming Hulkamaniacs, it's in front of what I believe is a papered 18000 in New Jersey. It's not going to have the aura, and it's still not going to have the in-ring ability.

If you'll allow me to muse on something first. I always though Hulkamania-era Hogan looked weird. Even in the peak steroids era, he looked oddly slender. If you ask me, the best era of Hogan visually, was 2002 Hogan. Still red and yellow, but incorporating the dark stubble and feather boas from the Hollywood era. That to me is Hulk Hogan in my head. Why am I talking about this, and not the match? Well, I guess it's because I know this match will completely suck.

Speaking of the match, Andre's slowly brawling. Rights and headbutts. Hogan tries to go for forearms and gets Andre on the ropes, but he's distracted by DiBiase. Meeting of minds between Andre and DiBiase. Soon after Andre's tied in the ropes but DiBiase and Virgil free him while he's playing to the crowd. Andre soon goes down and dizzy, and Hogan gets an elbow, but Andre uses a grounded choke. Time for some Andre heat, which is stomps and a BIG SIT. When Hogan's up Andre goes for chokes, four seconds at a time. Then the DEADLY DOUBLE NERVE PINCH to bring Hogan down, arm drop routine, but he fights up. Hogan rallying, clothesline, he says he's going to slam Andre... Virgil distracts on the apron so DiBiase can use a chair. Then Hogan uses the chair on Andre. No DQ called until Andre can use the chair back. So it's a double DQ.

Despite, you know, Hogan using the chair first, in front of the ref. #JusticeForAndre #WheresMyAndreVsDiBiaseMatch #ThisWasFiveMinutesOfShite

Oh yeah there was a post-match where Hogan slammed Andre but I don't care.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #718
The Honky Tonk Man (c) vs. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake
for the WWF Intercontinental Championship
WWF WrestleMania IV - March 27, 1988​

Thankfully the other quarters were a lot more competent, and so we move on to the second break time match, featuring a defence of the IC Title! And, oh boy, it's Honky vs. Beefcake. I can feel the soul being sucked out of my body as we speak.

Champ out first. Beefcake has no music. Lock-up. For a guy who can basically do very little, Honky's forearms look very pulled and low-impact. Beefcake does a HIGH elevation atomic drop. He then... messes up Honky's hair. There's a lot of stalling that follows. Honky gets an eye rake and goes to a corner but Beefcake counters and does some turnbuckle bashes. He really wants to cut someone's hair. High knee hit, and Honky's stalling again. Beefcake makes Honky look stupid but misses an elbow. Time for Honky heat. STOMPING! And obviously-pulled forearm clubs. As fist drop users go, Honky is no Jerry Lawler. Jimmy Hart gets in a cheap shot. Honky looks like he's setting up for Shake, Rattle 'n Roll but does a nut shot instead. Finally he tries it but Beefcake grabs the rope.

Babyface comeback. A back body drop is somehow the most impressive move this match. On comes the sleeper. In comes Jimmy Hart who bumps the ref with his megaphone. Beefcake has Honky out but no ref. He goes out to grab Hart, who's stolen his barber's equipment. Time for Hart to get his hair cut while they try to wake the ref.. Official ruling is a DQ win for Beefcake, Honky's still champ, but he got to do some barbering, and that's all that matters, right?

Really unimpressive match with a screwy finish.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #719
"Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. The One Man Gang
WWF Championship Tournament Semi-Final Match
WWF WrestleMania IV - March 27, 1988​

Okay, one last Mania 4 match. Let's see if Savage can carry the One Man Sphere to something decent. He can't, but let's see, right?

Gang starts using his power in the lock-up but misses a corner forearm and Savage takes control. Savage snaps Gang's neck over the ropes, holding him by the beard. Gang manages to charge Savage into the corner and it's now just Gang's slow, dogshit offence. When I see guys like Gang I regret calling Big Show and Buff Bagwell among my least favourite wrestlers to watch. Scoop slam for two but Savage gets his feet on the ropes. Gang tries a big splash but misses. Savage recovers and leaves Gang on the ropes before tipping him out. Double axe handle to the outside! Savage tries to slam Gang but gets choke... dropped. Not chokeslammed, because there's no slam in it. Disturbance between Slick and Elizabeth. Slick passes Gang his cane which he uses to attack Savage (and miss) until the DQ is called. Savage dropkicks Gang on top of Slick.

You'd think if they wanted to do a "oh no, can Savage really do this hurt against a fresh Ted DiBiase?" angle, they'd have let Gang get in more than one shot with the cane. As it stands it's just a lame four minute match with a lame finish. Lame. Thankfully no more Mania 4 in this thread.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #720
"Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Zodiac
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

'Tis the spooky season! And NXT has a Halloween Havoc coming up, so why not look at some Halloween Havoc stuff? This ties in to a theme of matches I wanted to do until I had a tiiiiny bit of a nervous breakdown and realised I couldn't go full force into this project. That being "the rest of the Hogan vs. Giant matches". I was going to stick to that one until I noticed there's four more shit sandwiches on this show, including a minus 1 star match! This one got a DUD from Dave. I wonder why. Savage and Lex Luger are in matches where, if they both win, they get a singles match with each other. Can Savage carry Beefcake? No! (Yes?) No! (Yes?) No!

Zodiac's getting zero reaction. Savage chats up a lady in the crowd. Right at the beginning, a fan jumps the barricade to keep things interesting, so they go for a bit of BOTO while the ref shuts that down. Zodiac shows off his range of rakes to take control. Back in the ring, Zodiac misses a splash. Meanwhile commentary are talking about the absence of Kamala (he quit over, as was a running theme in his career, being paid jack shit). Oh, just as I typed that, Savage hit the elbow and it was over.

At least the fan gave me something to talk about. Why was this on PPV?

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #721
Road Warrior Hawk vs. Kurasawa
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

Two weird runs converge now. Green ass Manabu Nakanishi in WCW playing a wild man, and Hawk as a singles guy. Kurasawa broke Hawk's arm so now he wants revenge. And it's not even a Lumberjacks with Casts match? Where's the creativity, WCW?

Hawk does as Hawk does usually, which is annihiliate Kurasawa with forearms aplenty. Neckbreaker and fist drop for two. It looks like there's about to be a turning of the tide when Hawk goes shoulder-first into the ring post, but he basically no-sells it and slams Kurasawa. Big powerbomb but Col. Parker tries to trip Hawk. This lets Kurasawa finally take control with some shots... until he misses an elbow drop. Hawk clotheslines Kurasawa out and gives a diving clothesline to Parker from the apron. Kurasawa manages to shove Hawk into the ring post again and do a bunch of moves. Samoan Drop, and not only are Kurasawa's feet on the rope, but Parker's giving him extra leverage. The level of chicanery it takes to get Hawk to do a job.

Nothing match. Kurasawa getting murdered and then winning outtanowhere by cheating.

 

[Samoa Looch]

Oh right, THAT Halloween Havoc. Don't get your head exploded by the weird ass Luger/Macho double booking bullshit.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #722
Lex Luger vs. Meng
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

This match was the one that was rated minus 1 star, so let's see if it earns that rating. Remember, if Luger wins this one he's still got a match with the Macho Man tonight!

Luger starts with typical Luger stuff. You like turnbuckle bashes? OVW Rope Running Thing but Luger stops above a prone Meng and stomps him in the dick. Big catapult by Luger. Meng gets control but no idea how as camera focuses on Kevin Sullivan for a while. Luger gets some brief shine, but nothing concrete until he gets a boot up in the corner and clotheslines Meng out. He bashes Meng's shoulder into the ring post, and then starts to work the other shoulder. One long shot of Sullivan later, Meng is in control again. He punches and bites. Luger blocks a right hand and gets some shine, but misses a corner charge. Luger tries to back suplex a larger man and gets splashed down for two.

Shoulderbreaker by Meng and now he's on top. He uses small joint manipulation to try and split Luger's hand, which is a nice change from the cornered punch and choke show that the rest of his offence so far is. Sitout piledriver for two. And now a minute-long chinlock! Luger survives though and elbows out and gets two with a crossbody. Meng's still alive though and gets a back suplex for two. TO THE OUTSIDE for Luger so Sullivan can stand and look down on him. Meng boots Luger off the apron when necessary to continue the spot. He's not interested in joining you, Sullivan, give it a rest. Back in the ring Meng's got Luger cornered and even uses an eye rake to stay on top.

Luger avoids a dropkick and tosses Meng over the top. He blocks a Meng suplex off the apron and sends him back into the ring with one of his own. Clotheslines mark a Luger comeback as the crowd wakes up. Powerslam by Luger, but Meng preps his thumb with the Golden Spike. Spiked, Luger's down, and seemingly down for the count... but for no reason at all Sullivan attacks Luger, turning a pinfall victory for Meng into a DQ win for Luger! What? Why?? Meng wants to know. Apparently Sullivan wants Luger to suffer through a Savage match too. I mean... sure, makes sense I guess? Doesn't make the finish any less lame.

That sure was a match! It dragged a bit and the finish was silly.

 

[Rosie]

Entry #722
Lex Luger vs. Meng
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

This match was the one that was rated minus 1 star, so let's see if it earns that rating. Remember, if Luger wins this one he's still got a match with the Macho Man tonight!

Luger starts with typical Luger stuff. You like turnbuckle bashes? OVW Rope Running Thing but Luger stops above a prone Meng and stomps him in the dick. Big catapult by Luger. Meng gets control but no idea how as camera focuses on Kevin Sullivan for a while. Luger gets some brief shine, but nothing concrete until he gets a boot up in the corner and clotheslines Meng out. He bashes Meng's shoulder into the ring post, and then starts to work the other shoulder. One long shot of Sullivan later, Meng is in control again. He punches and bites. Luger blocks a right hand and gets some shine, but misses a corner charge. Luger tries to back suplex a larger man and gets splashed down for two.

Shoulderbreaker by Meng and now he's on top. He uses small joint manipulation to try and split Luger's hand, which is a nice change from the cornered punch and choke show that the rest of his offence so far is. Sitout piledriver for two. And now a minute-long chinlock! Luger survives though and elbows out and gets two with a crossbody. Meng's still alive though and gets a back suplex for two. TO THE OUTSIDE for Luger so Sullivan can stand and look down on him. Meng boots Luger off the apron when necessary to continue the spot. He's not interested in joining you, Sullivan, give it a rest. Back in the ring Meng's got Luger cornered and even uses an eye rake to stay on top.

Luger avoids a dropkick and tosses Meng over the top. He blocks a Meng suplex off the apron and sends him back into the ring with one of his own. Clotheslines mark a Luger comeback as the crowd wakes up. Powerslam by Luger, but Meng preps his thumb with the Golden Spike. Spiked, Luger's down, and seemingly down for the count... but for no reason at all Sullivan attacks Luger, turning a pinfall victory for Meng into a DQ win for Luger! What? Why?? Meng wants to know. Apparently Sullivan wants Luger to suffer through a Savage match too. I mean... sure, makes sense I guess? Doesn't make the finish any less lame.

That sure was a match! It dragged a bit and the finish was silly.

Could have been way shorter and be fine.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #723
"Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

And so, as it was fated to happen (and after the match of the night which was that match where Flair teamed with Sting and then inevitably turned on him) we get Savage vs. Luger. This only got a quarter star from Dave, and no one else seems to like it either. So... let's roll!

Of course, commentary have just seen the Monster Truck Sumo Match and they're all wondering whether the Giant is actually dead, so they couldn't much care for this encounter. Big staredown and talking it out to start. Luger offers a handshake but gets nailed. Savage has the early edge but Luger gets a clothesline. This is nominally face-face but crowd is fully behind Savage. Jimmy Hart comes out to watch. It's all Luger and it's all stomps and forearms. You'd think Luger was the one who'd had a one-minute squash and Savage had a grueling match with Meng. ROPE CHOKING by Luger!

Luger boots Savage out and it's time to take it to the outside. Double axe handle by Luger but Savage blocks a guardrail bash and turns it back on Luger! Let the BOTO begin! Back in, and Savage goes up top for an axe handle but Luger counters with a right. Jimmy Hart distracts the ref and Luger uses the advantage to... pin with his feet on the ropes? Is he completely stupid? Savage shoves Luger into Hart and hits the elbow to win.

Another match pretty much devoid of exciting action, and yet another bewildering finish.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #724
Hulk Hogan (c) vs. The Giant
for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

And now to the main event! Hogan vs. Giant, a first-time match featuring, as far as the paying WCW audience knows, a first-time wrestler. But there's more than one "match" these two had at Halloween Havoc '95. There's a MONSTER TRUCK SUMO MATCH! Which I will cover now.

Spoiler: Monster Trucks

Not a Real Entry
Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant
Monster Truck Sumo Match
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 29, 1995​

So, they're arguing at the start. The monster truck referee (sounding appropriately Southern) explains you need to have the entire truck out of the ring to win. Also there's two explosive charges in the ring and we don't know where they are. Someone wields the Hulkamania truck and the Dungeon of Doom truck together.

And they're driving into each other. And they're driving into each other. They're trying to steer and get some edge, but... no. It's just them driving into each other. "We always expect Hogan to be slow and he never lets us down" -commentary is good sometimes. Hogan's backed against the edge of the ring but survives. It's been raining, apparently, which makes it a lot more slippery. Hogan's almost out and they manage to hit one of the random charges. Thankfully no one dies in a truck fire. It's just pushing until Hogan manages to push Giant's truck out. Post-match Giant comes out to confront Hogan, they scrap on the roof. Giant seems to be threatening to throw Hogan off to his death. They're on the edge... Hogan shakes Giant off him, and then accidentally sends him to fall to his death. Hogan runs off for help.

So yeah. The Giant's fucking dead. And yet they have the brass to bring out Michael Buffer as if the main event will happen. He seems like he's about to announce Giant, but instead Hogan comes out. In street clothes. BLACK street clothes, of course, as this was the brief run where he had his iconic moustache shaved off and started wearing dark colours. Hogan insists the death of the Giant wasn't his fault... but the Giant is totally fine! It's as if he hasn't been harmed at all! Maybe there was just a smaller roof with a crash mat underneath. Hogan's naturally perturbed, as this man has come back from the dead. Because that's what they're actually trying to sell.

Now here's the match. For some reason Hogan has the Kevin Sullivan paint on his baldness. This is less "going to the dark side" and more "looking silly". Anyway, Hogan's on the offensive until he tries to pick Giant up but it doesn't work. Giant's moves are, to be fair to him, very like his kayfabe father Andre. That is, mostly forearm clubs and chops. And a CORNER CHOKE! Now all you need is the Deadly Double Nerve Pinch. Giant does the stretchy-leg boot choke perfected by the likes of Torrie Wilson. Test of strength spot which Hogan's obviously dominated in for what feels like forever. He comes back when the fans get behind him but Giant kicks him in the midsection.

Giant slams the Hogan then tries an elbow, but Hogan pops up. Time for Hogan to get punchy-punchy. Mounted punches followed by a Greco-Roman face bite. He keeps going for clotheslines but Giant won't stay down, until the last one sends him out of the ring. Sullivan tries to take Giant to the back and lose the coward's way (????) but Hogan follows. They do a noggin knock spot but Sullivan's head only meets Giant's chest. Back in the ring... EYE POKING!! Giant resists Hogan's attacks and goozles him but Hogan avoids the chokeslam with an eye rake. Giant backbreaker for just a one-count.

Giant slaps on a bearhug because Andre was big in the 70's. A minute and a half later, Hogan breaks out, but gets slammed. Another bearhug! Arm drop routine but Hogan survives after another minute and a half. Giant takes the chokeslam and Hogan looks dead... HE KICKS OUT! AND HULKS UP! GIANT'S FINISH IS DEAD ALREADY! Full Hogan finish sequence, including the leg drop... Jimmy Hart bumps the ref! And then he turns heel by clocking Hogan with the belt! Giant puts on a third bearhug to kill Hogan, Savage and Luger come out to make the save... Luger turns on Savage! Out comes the YETAY (a mummy who's even taller than Giant) to complete the Double Sexual Bearhug of Doom! Hogan and Savage get Torture Racked, the match is thrown out, and the show ends in chaos.

What they don't know is that Jimmy Hart signed the contract so Hogan would lose the title if he lost by DQ. And that counted as a Giant win by DQ?? WCW booking is stupid. Why didn't this company die sooner? Giant is champ. I'm glad this show is over.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #725
Steve McMichael vs. Alex Wright
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 26, 1997​

For our next trip to Halloween Havoc History we're returning to 1997, to witness a pair of infamous matches that I didn't cover when I was busy covering Hogan vs. Piper in a cage. This is the first. Mongo and Debra are not on-side any more, so Debra's picked a mystery opponent to deal with Mongo. Mystery because Jeff Jarrett pulled out. That opponent? Das Wunderkind! Minus a star and a half from Dave, by the way.

Staredown and stalling until Wright comes in with a bit of offence. Mongo gets a wristlock, Wright tries to get out but Mongo slams him for two. Wright to the outside, telling Debra that Mongo pulled the hair. Mongo gets a headlock but Wright takes him down. Wright controls the arm and attacks it. Commentary doesn't give a shit, they're just talking about Hogan vs. Piper. Mongo reverses. Wright hits some uppercuts. The movement here is so awkward. And it's not just Mongo, Wright makes a bit of a mess of a rope run. He works a headlock but gets pushed around and slammed. Commentary talks about the match for 30 seconds before going back to Hogan/Piper.

Wright gets a spinning kick and seems to be trying to go for a piledriver but everything turns into a complete mess. I get the feeling Mongo was sandbagging. He at least manages to hit his Tombstone properly. While the ref's occupied with Debra, Goldberg comes out, finally blessing the fans with someone they give a shit about. He spears and Jackhammers Mongo, stacking Wright on him to decide the match. This starts a period of a few weeks where Debra has Goldberg's chain but they kill that early thankfully.

Anyway, that really was shit. Nobody cared about it.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #726
Disco Inferno vs. Jacqueline
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 26, 1997​

Finally for this show, we get a match that the Cagematch hivemind absolutely HATED, with a face-meltingly bad 0.66/10. The point of that is that Glenn Gilbertti thinks women shouldn't wrestle. Also, his character of Disco Inferno thinks women shouldn't wrestle. So it's time for Jacqueline to shut him up. Will she?

Reminder: Disco is the reigning WCW TV Champion. That's exactly when the belt stopped meaning anything. Stevie Richards is here, with a "Girl vs. Girl" sign. This starts in a feeling-out. And by feeling-out, I mean Disco refusing to fight Jacqueline. When Jacqueline tries to challenge Disco just runs away. LOUD "Disco sucks" chant, yep. He's using the ref as a human shield. Commentary starts to amuse themselves by talking about Hogan and Piper again. They labour nothing happening for so long. Disco running away. Disco hiding behind the ref. It's just so fucking boring. 4 minutes (FOUR EARTH MINUTES) in they actually make contact, and it's Jacqueline hitting a sunset flip. And then Disco starts running away again. He manages to hair-toss Jacqueline before resuming his cowardice.

They do the chase around the ring. Disco comes back into the ring and doesn't realise Jacqueline's behind him so Jacqueline goes in. Disco tries to walk off and lose by count-out but Jacqueline keeps him around. For a while they do some actual wrestling moves, including an OVW Rope Running Thing. Jacqueline counters a hip toss by landing on her feet. Disco dumps her out on the corner but she puts him glitterballs-first into the ring post. (It's padded with a Slim Jim ad, but still.) Suplex on the outside from Jacqueline. Back in the ring she hits some clotheslines, Disco tries to do something but Jacqueline counters into a DDT. She tries a crossbody but Disco rolls her over for two. Then Jacqueline rolls him up for three.

Just so boring and so pointless, so much time-wasting for a match that should have just been over in a snap.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #727
The Fabulous Freebirds vs. The Renegade Warriors
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 27, 1990​

Next up on our Halloween Havoc sweep-up, it's time for 1990. This is an oddity. The masters of this show were lost, so the version on the Network is the home video version that cut several matches from the show. This, sadly, was one of the ones spared. It's Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin representing the Freebirds, against Mark and Chris Youngblood, two of three brothers who played Native Americans on TV despite being Hispanic. Let's go.

This is the time when the Freebirds had their roadie called Little Richard Marley. Of course JR blows the routine by calling him Rocky King right away. He's dressed up like Robert Gibson because the Freebirds injured him recently. During the pre-match stalling Hayes breaks out a moonwalk but gets hit early on by Mark Youngblood. Tomahawk chops to both Freebirds, then Chris goes up top for a double clothesline. Hayes tries to get an edge but gets tossed and needs to go to Garvin to get his hair fixed. The Freebirds can't even corner their man properly. In comes Garvin who also gets a hip toss from Chris.

Chris leapfrogs Garvin and doesn't do anything special with it, just putting on a headlock. He kicks away Hayes' hand when he's trying to tag, which would be a great heel move if the Youngbloods weren't the faces. Eventually he gets pushed into Hayes' punch (well, in the general vicinity of Hayes' punch at least) which lets Garvin get a heat segment. He does a throw over the top when the ref's back is turned, which lets Hayes and Marley get shots in. Chinlock time. Eventually in comes Hayes who is cool for a bit with a fist drop, but then puts on another chinlock. Chris recovers and gets a sleeper but a blind tag to Garvin cuts that off. ROPE CHOKING! At least Hayes on the outside is a bit more original with his rope choking, bouncing his bum on Chris.

Crowd's cheering for the Freebirds. These young faces are incredibly under. They're calling for the DDT to end this match, but Garvin offers no such mercy. Chris gets the feet up in the corner but it doesn't help him. ANOTHER CHINLOCK! Gary Michael Capetta calls that it's been 15 minutes in this match, when I know it's not been ten. They must have trimmed this match down. Small mercies, perhaps. Hayes teases the DDT but Chris escapes with a back body drop. This doesn't let him tag though. Garvin keeps the beat down and tosses Chris out for more outside interference. Crowd is still cheering for the Freebirds.

Hayes back in with an elbow drop for two. ANOTHER CHINLOCK! Please don't tell me this is yet another time limit draw where the wrestlers don't show any urgency until the end. Chris is fighting back but tastes an eye rake. Chris gets a crossbody for two. ANOTHER CHINLOCK?? Eventually Hayes threatens to go up top but Chris meets him and tosses him down. In comes Mark for an INCREDIBLY cold tag. He's... acceptable, especially for his era. Chris does another double clothesline and they're both being chopped in the corner. Marley's distracting the ref and one of the Youngbloods gets a visual pin roll-up (I don't care enough to tell them apart anymore) until Hayes DDTs him from that position for the win.

That was boring and generic and the crowd didn't like the faces. I dread to think what it would be like with the extra five minutes of chinlocks kept in.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #728
Junkyard Dog vs. Moondog Rex
WCW Halloween Havoc - October 27, 1990​

And yet, 1990's night is not yet over. Because what WWE's Network doesn't have, some random dude does, because they taped the show, and I found this match on YouTube. It's a Dave-certified DUD. (oh yeah, I forgot, Freebirds vs. Stereotypes was minus 2 stars)

Jobber entrance for Rex, and because camera never focuses on him it seems like GMC has accidentally announced Rex when JYD is coming out. JYD's in a Halloween mask. He gets Rex with a punch and Rex has to rest on the outside ALREADY. JYD no-sells a shoulderblock, clotheslines Rex, and does his headbutts. Rex introduces a chair but JYD bashes himself in the head with it. Concussion city. JYD misses a falling headbutt and Rex does some punches but JYD no-sells. Rex pulls out his bone and hits JYD with it. Axe handles follow but JYD no-sells. Clothesline and roll-up by JYD for two. Clothesline to the back of the head. Rex tries for the bone, the ref catches him, JYD gets the headbutt and finishes it.

It's for the best that this match wasn't salvaged. Pointless.

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Entry #729
Jimmy Hart vs. Mancow
WCW Spring Stampede - April 16, 2000​

There was a time in history when scummy people who said edgy shit on the radio were relevant in culture. I don't know if that time is 2000, but one scummy guy who said edgy shit on the radio managed to parlay it into two WCW PPV matches! That said scummy guy is Mancow, who clashed with Jimmy Hart on his radio show and that led to this match. On Pay-Per-View. On a show that was already packed with a bunch of tournament finals for belts that had been vacated for no good reason other than "REBOOT". Whatever, let's watch.

Jimmy Hart is out with Hail, one of many useless giants that the Power Plant produced at this time. He's wearing a Howard Stern shirt and calls Mancow a Stern wannabe. Speaking of Howard Stern, Mancow comes out with a few models and a rogue's gallery of freaks, because every single radio shock jock needs a collection of weirdos to make fun of. The weedy little radio guy grabs a mic, says "shit" on air, and gets a cheap pop by mentioning Chicago.

Mark Madden calls this a catfight right away, and it's accurate to the level of wrestling skill being displayed. After a bit of rolling around, Hail distracts Mancow so Hart can punch him in the balls. The catfight resumes. I don't know if it's meant to be a grounded choke, but that's the closest thing I can think of. Hart falls on top of Mancow for a non-pin attempt. He goes up top and LANDS ON TOP OF THE REF. Because a match between two non-wrestlers that's gone 1 minute so far needs a ref bump! Hail gorilla presses Mancow on to a pile of freaks. Visual pin for Hart but the ref's out. One of the freaks passes Mancow a chair, he uses it (landing on the top of the referee again btw) and pins Hart for the three. Billy Kidman shows up to attack Hart because he hates Hulk Hogan.

A complete stupid waste of time. Surely WCW wouldn't try this again, right?