Don't miss the GREATEST SHOW ON THURSDAY NIGHTS ON SPIKE TV AT 8-10 PM, IMPACT WRESTLING!!! It's coming to you live and its coming to you from the Impact Zone. What is the Impact Zone you may ask? Well, its the most popular spot at the Universal Theme Park in Orlando, Florida from 8-10 PM every Thursday night since its the only place that sells beer. It's also the only place that grown women (and sometimes men) squeal at the sight of a Vicodin-addicted trainwreck of a human being when he takes his shirt off. Trust me guys, if they're squealing for him, you may have a shot at getting laid!
Here is a preview of Thursday's broadcast:
- After the success of last week's "Vote a Wrestler" gimmick, the folks behind the scenes have gone one level further. This week we will be able to vote either Brooke Hogan or Garett Bischoff "off the island". Off the Island is a new feature on Impact Wrestling where the one voted off is run over by a cement truck driven by none other than former Survivor AND TNA alumni, Johnny Fairplay!
- Hulk Hogan will be appearing along with Sting as they contemplate which retirement home they'll be settling in after they suck the company dry take TNA to the top and ride off into the sunset.
- We'll get another James Storm update, as we head to his home in Tennessee and watch him help his beloved mare Fannie Flagg give birth to a foal. No word on whether Montgomery-Gentry are going to be there performing their hit "Longnecks and Rednecks" while the birthing takes place, but you never know do you?
- Christopher Daniels and Kazarian (remember when he had a first name and a tag team belt?) may have crossed the line last week with their audio footage. However, they're looking to cross it even further this week, as they plan to reveal the secret motel room footage they say shows AJ and Dixie engaging in lewd and pornographic acts with an unidentified third party that may or may not be a Daschund.
- Madison Rayne will be on hand to reveal that her mystery man is actually a mystery woman. Her and the mystery woman will then engage in approximately four minutes of all out lesbian sex in the middle of the ring while referee Earl "Dirty Old Man" Hebner looks on and snaps Polaroids.
- Finally, Bully Ray and Joseph Park will have a debate moderated by the one and only Scott Steiner. Yes folks, Steiner may have been hating on Impact lately, but the big bad booty daddy couldn't turn down the chance to moderate a debate between two of the best talkers on the show. Topics will include Pearl Harbour, the Foreign Legion, Hulk Hogan's sex tape and of course, Joseph's brother Chris...you know, Abyss.
All this and much more on Thursday's IMPACT WRESTLING broadcast on SpikeTV, plus we'll also throw a few more odd matches together for what's supposed to be our 10th Anniversary Show. And remember folks, at Impact...the LULZ~! are free!!!
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