Well, I'm certainly glad that there's a lot of Michael Cera hate around here, fuck that guy.
:
The Linebacker said:
And here we go.......
*cracks knuckles, starts getting his defense ready*
You're on.....
I first saw this crap when I went to see Natural Born Killers but found it was sold out. Not wanting to leave without seeing a movie, my buddies and I decided to check this one out instead. Hey, it had Tom Hanks, how bad could it possibly be? Well apparently it can be really bad, because to this day I have no idea how this movie is so praised. It's boring, meanders in multiple directions without ever being cohesive, features annoying characters and bad performances from normally strong actors and one of the most pedestrian stories of all time. Another thing that just totally blows about this movie is the completely inane and predictable dialogue. Just take a look at this scene (skip ahead to about 1:35).
[video=youtube;NRBgqFQkE70]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRBgqFQkE70[/video]
Seriously, I fucking knew he was going to say that the first time I saw this movie, and trust me, its not the only example of predictability going on here. However, as much as I hate the film itself, its the aftermath of its release that really pisses me off. You see, Forrest Gump won Best Picture at the 1994 Academy Awards, beating out Pulp Fiction. If anyone can honestly say that Forrest fucking Gump is a better movie than Pulp Fiction I will simply say they are lying, because it just isn't fucking true. I don't mind Hanks winning Best Actor given who he was up against that year, but come on, there's just no excusing that brutal snub. I believe this was the first time I actually realized how idiotic the Academy was, and I've never looked back since. The only thing that's really decent about Forrest Gump is the awesome soundtrack, but if I pop on 60's on 6 or 70's on 7 on Sirius, I can get all those songs and more and not have to sit through a tepid story with little to no substance and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Next up, we enter top five territory with Jake Gyllenhaal and a bunny suit.