Fuji's Top Twenty Most Hated Films

[TroyTheAverage]

And four days later...

I need my Fuji fix of reviews dammit.

How's the family sweetheart?

 

[Fuji Vice]

And four days later...

I need my Fuji fix of reviews dammit.

How's the family sweetheart?

They're good, I've been spending a lot of time with them the past couple of days, and my in-laws are over for the week, so that's why I've been a little lax here. Never fear, the countdown will start up again today or tomorrow.

 

[Fuji Vice]

11. Erin Brockovich

Julia Roberts sucks. That's about the nicest way I can sum up my feelings on her acting skills, and don't even get me started on her horse face. I can safely say that there's only been one Julia Roberts performance that I've ever liked, and that was only because her character died (Steel Magnolia's in case you're wondering, but that movie sucks too). So of course it stands to reason that because I think she sucks, most people do not, including the infamous Academy, who bestowed the Oscar for Best Actress on her for her performance in this steaming pile of crap. I get it now. The Academy Awards are nothing more than a popularity contest (which also explains Gwyneth Paltrow's win along with nearly every Best Picture winner of the past 30 years). However, even knowing that to be the case, anyone who can sit there with a straight face and call this an Oscar-calibre performance is clearly more insane than me.

[video=youtube;D-5P2iMf_ZA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-5P2iMf_ZA&feature=relmfu[/video]​

Yep, that's what won her an Award, though I really can't understand why it wasn't a Razzie instead of an Oscar. If someone can enlighten me as to what it is about this bitch that people like I'd love to hear it. The worst part about this entire movie though is that it really didn't need to be made in the first place. In case you didn't know, Erin Brockovich is a real person and the story that this film tells is also real, so I have to ask why a documentary wasn't made instead? I'd be way more interested in seeing the real person explain the real story the way they lived it than seeing Julia Roberts pretend to be a real person when all you think about when you see her is that she got paid $20 million to star in this film. Yes folks, you heard that figure right, and yes, I think its about $20 million too much for the pathetic effort she turned out on the screen. Fuck this piece of shit, go read a book instead.

Tomorrow, clones.

 

[TroyTheAverage]

Julia Roberts was awesome in Flatliners and The Pelican Brief. Although Denzel made the Pelican Brief watchable at first, Julia really picked it up during the movie to keep up with him.

Flatliners was just all around awesomeness.

You know, you're just a hater. Julia Roberts deserves every award she has ever gotten.*









































































































































Just kidding again. With the exception of the two movies I have listed above, I can't stand the cunt. She annoys me.

 

[Fuji Vice]

J
Just kidding again. With the exception of the two movies I have listed above, I can't stand the cunt. She annoys me.

I agree completely. The only thing she should ever be known for is being the actress with the biggest gap between the size of her paycheck and her actual talent.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

She was good in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Mostly cuz Sam Rockwell killed her in it.

 

[TroyTheAverage]

I don't think I have ever seen that one.

 

[Fuji Vice]

10. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

The above poster is seriously the best thing about Attack of the Clones. I wish I'd just stared at that for two hours instead of sitting through George Lucas' complete and total fail. Why is Attack of the Clones so bad? Well for starters it has incredibly bad dialogue delivered by completely inept actors at nearly every turn. Second, it features Yoda in a completely bizarre and over the top lightsaber battle that I'm sure sent nerds everywhere to the jizz factory. Unfortunately it doesn't really make sense considering Yoda is supposedly so powerful he shouldn't even need to use a lightsaber to take out Count Dooku's lame ass...and what the hell kind of a name is Dooku anyway? Oh yes, this was written by the same "genius" who graced us with the brilliant names Nute Gunray and Jar Jar Binks. Here's one way to make this movie better. When Christopher Lee says "its obvious that we need to battle with lightabers" or whatever the hell it was that he said, have Yoda just drop the entire cave ceiling on him! Oh, I almost forgot, there is one other cool thing in this movie...

[video=youtube;lzdMyqZsJ2k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzdMyqZsJ2k&feature=related[/video]​

That's right folks, Boba Fett's "daddy" dies like a bitch, just like he would later on in Return of the Jedi. I've always enjoyed that scene if for no reason other than the fact that I consider Boba Fett the biggest joke of a character in any of the Star Wars films (yes, that includes the aformentioned Mr. Binks and Porkins) and its nice to see that he comes from such an illustrious pedigree of losers. Hell, I'm shocked the clone army (made from Jango's DNA) even so much as managed to disembark from their big cargo ships without falling flat on their faces. If that wasn't enough to make you cringe, this movie also has a goddamn sequence where Annakin and Padme (more brilliant names) have to fight these idiotic monsters that look like CGI rejects from Ray Harryhausen's toilet. I would rather watch the Star Wars Holiday Special than watch this piece of crap again and I am totally serious when I say that.

Next up, everybody was kung fu fighting while I was vomiting.

 

[JakeYourBooty]

Easily the worst thing with the star wars name attached to it. Rubbish love story and Hayden has the acting chops of Channing Tatum's abs.


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I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?cooyyx

 

[TactMrBlack]

That's a lot of hate towards Boba Fett

 

[TroyTheAverage]

Our Star Wars day Thursday, included about 15 minutes of Attack of the Clones before we said to hell with it and put in Revenge of the Sith.

 

[Fuji Vice]

Easily the worst thing with the star wars name attached to it. Rubbish love story and Hayden has the acting chops of Channing Tatum's abs.

Tatum's abs are the reason he's in movies in the first place, I'm not sure what Hayden's excuse is.

That's a lot of hate towards Boba Fett

Believe me, I was restraining myself there. For a minor character who had less than 8 minutes of screen time over two films, the amount of people who love him is shocking. The fact that the expanded Star Wars universe includes such stupidity as him shooting his way out of the Sarlaac Pit and attending Dengar's wedding would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad. The greatest thing in any Star Wars film is watching him get killed by a semi-blind man from behind, a fitting end to the master of ineptitude.

Our Star Wars day Thursday, included about 15 minutes of Attack of the Clones before we said to hell with it and put in Revenge of the Sith.

I'm surprised you got through 15, I can't even bear to pop the disc in the player. The anticipation of crap is enough for me to reconsider and pop in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes instead.

 

[Postman Dave]

Hell, I'm shocked the clone army (made from Jango's DNA) even so much as managed to disembark from their big cargo ships without falling flat on their faces.

I lol'd very much.

 

[Fuji Vice]

I lol'd very much.

Good times, that's what these are for.

9. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Wuxia is one of the oldest genres on record, having been invented sometime around 300 BC according to Chinese writings. Its tales of the adventures of martial arts masters and the world they occupy have sprung forth hundreds of excellent novels and films. Among some of these masterpieces are The One-Armed Swordsman, The Avenging Eagle and The Eight Diagram Pole Fighter, just to name a few. However, for every good Wuxia film there are several bad ones, and none worse than Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, a completely pretentious rip off of the entire genre by one of Asia's most respected directors. That Ang Lee could so shamelessly exploit the stories and culture of his own people, and that luminaries such as Chow Yun-Fat could star in this is absolutely despicable and cause to call for their execution in their homeland. Undoubtedly American audiences were captivated by this film, but the problem is that it has been done better so many times before. The fact that this movie is considered the greatest martial arts film of all time (a statement made by several notable American film critics) is absurd...it isn't even as good as your standard Bruce Lee vehicle and certainly not as strong as a film like The Prodigal Son. To top it all off, this piece of crap was dubbed (the eternal sin) and released in the US so that scenes like this, that had potential, ended up coming across hilariously bad because of the awful voice overs...

[video=youtube;J-1L3SaIzYM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-1L3SaIzYM[/video]​

I would have included some of the fighting scenes to illustrate how poor they are when compared to other, better films, but I didn't want to go video clip bonkers in this post, so yeah, just believe me when I say they suck. You know what else? This movie won an Academy Award for Best Foreign Film and was also nominated for Best Picture. I guess if you give your movie a pretentious title and stick a bunch of well known foreign actors in it you're a safe bet for that particular award. What a joke, though I'm not laughing because I feel bad for anyone who truly believes that this is anything close to the best the Wuxia genre has to offer. This film, much like The Matrix before it, did more harm to the kung fu movie than good, and both continue to live on like cheap imitations made in a sweat shop while the true gems stay elusive, much like the goods that only the rich can afford. Do yourselves a favour and check out any of the movies I mentioned above for a real example of what this genre has to offer, and flush this turd down the toilet where it belongs.

Tomorrow, I see a predictable plot twist.

 

[TroyTheAverage]

I hated the movie. I didn't last long watching it. I made it around a half hour or so before turning it off. I don't remember much of it; I do know I didn't like it and it just didn't sit well with me. A lot of it was the voice overs and even trying to watch it with just subtitles seemed to ruin it. I don't think I didn't like it for the reasons you mentioned, I just don't think it was my kind of movie.