Above You Thread

[Kingslayer]

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

 

[Kylie]

Nice one.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

 

[Don Draper]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you into the future. You will be able to look back on the day you died.

 

[Kylie]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

 

[Kingslayer]

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Kentucky Fried Chicken.

 

[The Flash]

I liked the Chuck Norris joke on Family Guy...

"Rumor has it that theres no chin underneath Chuck Norris' beard...theres just another fist" Brian : Thats crazy! Then Chuck Norris' 3rd fist punches Brian

 

[Kingslayer]

Eh, I've never found the beard joke funny.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

 

[Don Draper]

Chuck Norris the Film in 3D was actually banned after the 1st showing when a 3D roundhouse kick accidentally killed the entire audience.

 

[Kingslayer]

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured the mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

 

[Don Draper]

When he was born, he bit off the umbilical cord with his teeth (which were already there) and roundhouse kicked the doctor that slapped him on the ass.

 

[NotReallyaGoodUN]

I saw this kickass fight between Bruce Lee & Chuck Norris on YouTube a couple days ago.

Completed Mass Effect 2, I'm guessing.

I'm not even done with the first Mass Effect yet. (N)

 

[Kingslayer]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

EDIT ~ Mass Effect 2 was invented by Chuck Norris.

Finish Mass Effect 1 as fast as you can. Mass Effect 2 is the most epic, unbelievable gaming experience possible. It's almost beyond reality.

 

[Don Draper]

When standing at the Grand Canyon someone asked Chuck Norris how to go across and he replied get a tight rope. When he did Chuck Norris pulled the Canyon together.

 

[NotReallyaGoodUN]

I'd go with the Chuck Norris fathered himself joke, but I guess everyone know that. :tardsmile:

Should know that Barrett has one of the best themes in the E.

 

[Don Draper]

Should know no one's theme is better than Dashing Cody Rhodes! Actually I think Drew McIntyre has the best theme The Nexus theme is pretty good though.