WWE Raw, Smackdown, PPV's 2004 Review Thread (Maybe HeAT & Velocity Matches)

[Deezy]

Viscera got signed back after this and we got the love machine but gangrel never got another chance lmao

Gangrel looks like the toxic avenger nowadays

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: Booker T
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
September 30th, 2004
Wichita, Kansas

​

I guess last week was one of those failed themes, as this week they debut "Rising Up"

Kurt Angle comes down to the ring wearing this oversized suit Kurt says in 1996 he promised to win a gold medal despite a broken neck, in 2000 I promised to win the WWE championship even though I was only a year in. And last week I promised a Smackdown moment, and just like always I deliver on my promises. Kurt says The Big Show brought this on himself, he says when you're 7 foot, 500 pounds you can get away with Chokeslmmming a man off a balcony with no consequences. Well, I never forgot. He says when he hit the ground and his leg snapped into two, he vowed to get revenge. Kurt says he dreamt of doing what everyone wanted to do, take the big bad bully and give him exactly what he deserves. Kurt then brings out Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak, who come out holding bags of The Big Shows hair. They hoist Kurt up on their shoulders and parade him around the ring until GM Theodore Long comes out. T.Long says Kurt likes to talk a lot of trash, knowing the Big Show isn't here. He says he knows what Show did to him, but also seen what he did to Show last week. Long says they're tied up?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK? HOW? One man tried to kill the other, and all the other did was shave his head. Long says to truly settle things, they need to settle it 1on1. He bans Luther and Mark from ringside, and says if they or anyone else interferes, they will be FIRED!

Dawn Marie joins commentary and claims that both Haas & Jackie are engaged and that she and Haas have been seeing each other.

Charlie Haas & Rico (w/Miss Jackie) vs. The Dudley Boyz
This happens, it sucked Rico's back on his gay shit. Dawn and Jackie keep arguing at ringside, which leads to a CATFIGHT! Which distracts Haas allowing the Dudleyz to hit the 3D for the win. SHIT!

Cena does his best Rock impression and bullies Mathews, Cena says only one man can leave No Mercy the US Champion. He says Booker is walking around with HIS title on and there isn't a damn thing Booker can do about it.

Paul Heyman runs out and yells for Heidenreich to get down, the camera pans out and Heidenreich is on top of the giant fist on the tron. Heidenreich says don't worry he won't jump, he just wants people to watch and listen to him so he can tell them a poem. So, he does his little poem bullshit story.

Somewhere; The Undertaker is standing next to the hearse. He says Bradshaw at No Mercy this will be your last ride, and the last image you will see is him feasting on his rotting sole holding the WWE Championship. JBL REST...IN...PEACE!

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews JBL, JBL asks where is Orlando, Josh asks him his thoughts on what he just saw. JBL says Taker's beaten every major WWE star, but he's never beaten him. He says in 3 days, he will end the reign of terror and has a plan, and that plan starts tonight when he sends a message to the Undertaker and is going to make an example out of Hardcore Holly in their match. Holly walks over and smacks the shit out of JBL and says he PLAN just started.

Booker T vs. Paul London
This is even shorter than last week, it's basically a squash match, IDK why WWE didn't just hire a local jobber for this and not have someone who has a PPV match this sunday? Kidman comes out to watch, and London is distracted, leading to Booker winning with the Scissors Kick. *3/4

After the match; Booker grabs a chair and brings it into the ring, but Kidman runs down and grabs the chair away. He chases Booker off but nails London from behind with the steel chair. He yells at London "Do, you get me now?"

CARLITO CARRIBEAN! COOL! NEXT WEEK!

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly
Might be Holly's best match of 2004, they just beat the shit out of one another for 5 minutes. JBL goes above and beyond bumping in this, I haven't seen him bump this good since the Eddie feud. JBL constantly has to cheat to gain the advantage back, like tumb to the eye or throwing Holly into the steps. Hardcore counters JBL's powerbomb into the Alabama Slama as we go to break, but then we return Holly is now busted open WTF?!?!?!?! They show during the break, JBL hit hardcore with the steps right in front of the ref, but when the ref rolls Holly in and JBL kicks him in the face now he DQ's him. WHAT THE FUCK! GOD DAMN SMACKDOWN IS BEING RUN BY MORONS! Match was really good tho, but, it's still Fuck Holly. **3/4

After the match; JBL hits Holly again with the steps, and bounces his head off the announcer's table. He continues t beat the shit out of him and even throws in a nasty chair shot to Hardcore's head. JBL rolls him back into the ring and hits the Clothesline From Hell. JBL grabs the mic and taunts Taker, he says there will be no ref and no bell to stop him at No Mercy. DEAD OR ALIVE, I fear no man. The lights go out, and Taker appears on the tron. He says it started with 4, Gangrel, Viscera.......And now Orlando. The light shines on the top of the arena, and OJ is tied to a Taker symbol in the air. Taker says and then there was one, and at No Mercy, JBL will take his last ride.

Nunzio (w/Johnny Stamboli) vs. Spike Dudley (w/The Dudley Boyz)
NOPE!

RAW REBOUND!

In a pre-tape; The Big Show is in a dark room, he cuts a promo on what Kurt Angle did to him last week when he RAPED HIM OF HIS DIGNITY! Show says he cut the rest of his hair off as a reminder, every day on what Kurt did to him. He says this Sunday he will give Kurt the worse beating he has ever had.

Clips air of potential Tough Enough contestants.

Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak vs. Eddie Guererro & Rob Van Dam
Poor Eddie, this is god awful, he deserves so much better. Poor guy has fallen off so hard since the amazing JBL feud. Smackdown roster is ass. So glad I don't have a WOTY system cause poor guy might be bottom 5 with all this shit he has to face weekly. So, of course, he's the one that is pinned in this, and by FUCKING JINDRAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK EVERYTHING! I HATE THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW!

 

[Crippler]

3/4 AWARDS

(New in BOLD)

February 26th, 2004 Smackdown - Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Billy Kidman **3/4 - ***
January 8th, 2004 Smackdown - The Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerrero's ***
June 10th, 2004 Smackdown - Triple Play Challenge ***
January 29th, 2004 Smackdown - Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio ***
February 19th, 2004 Smackdown - Chavo Guererro Jr. vs. Eddie Guererro ***
July 8th, 2004 Smackdown - The Dudley Boyz vs. Billy Kidman & Paul London ***
May 20th, 2004 Smackdown - John Bradshaw Layfield & The Dudley Boyz vs. Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam & Eddie Guererro ***
Bad Blood 2004 - Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels ***
WrestleMania XX - Evolution (Ric Flair, Batista & Randy Orton) vs. The Rock 'n' Sock Connection ***
January 11th, 2004 Sunday Night Heat - Randy Orton vs. Val Venis ***
August 9th, 2004 - Triple H & Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit ***
January 1st, 2004 Smackdown - Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri ***
Unforgiven 2004 - Ric Flair & Batista vs. William Regal & Chris Benoit ***
August 9th, 2004 RAW - Edge vs. Chris Jericho ***
No Way Out 2004 - Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio ***
July 19th, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton vs. Edge ***
August 23rd, 2004 RAW - Chris Jericho vs. Edge ***
May 13th, 2004 Smackdown - John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio ***
September 2nd, 2004 Smackdown - Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guererro ***
Vengeance 2004 - Kane vs. Matt Hardy ***
August 5th, 2004 Smackdown - John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam ***
August 23rd, 2004 RAW - William Regal vs. Ric Flair ***
Unforgiven 2004 - Chris Jericho vs. Christian ***
July 19th, 2004 RAW - Chris Benoit vs. Batista ***
February 9th, 2004 RAW - Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit ***
March 29th, 2994 RAW - Chris Benoit & Shawn Michaels vs. Batista & Ric Flair ***
June 28th, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton & Batista vs. Chris Jericho & Edge ***
March 25th, 2004 Smackdown - Booker T vs. Eddie Guererro ***
May 24th, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton & Batista vs. Chris Jericho & Shelton Benjamin ***
February 16th, 2004 RAW - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit ***
April 26th, 2004 - Batista & Ric Flair vs. Edge & Chris Benoit *** - ***1/4
Bad Blood 2004 - Kane vs. Chris Benoit ***1/4
April 19th, 2004 RAW - Chris Jericho vs. Christian ***1/4
May 10th, 2004 RAW Chris Jericho vs. Christian ***1/4
January 26th, 2003 RAW - Chris Jericho & Rob Van Dam vs. Evolution (Randy Orton, Batista & Ric Flair) ***1/4
The Great American Bash 2004 - Chavo Guererro vs. Rey Mysterio ***1/4
SummerSlam 2004 - Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guererro ***1/4
July 5th, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho ***1/4
April 19th, 2004 RAW - Batista & Ric Flair vs. Edge & Chris Benoit ***1/4
March 15th, 2004 RAW - Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Evolution (Batista, Ric Flair & Randy Orton) ***1/4
The Great American Bash 2004 - John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guererro ***1/4
May 17th, 2004 RAW - Chris Benoit & Edge vs. Randy Orton & Batista ***1/4
January 12th, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam ***1/4
June 21st, 2004 RAW - Randy Orton & Batista vs. Edge & Chris Jericho ***1/4
May 10th, 2004 - Randy Orton vs. EDGE ***1/4 - ***1/2
Backlash 2004 - Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit ***1/2
June 24th, 2004 Smackdown - John Cena vs. The Undertaker ***1/2
September 20th, 2004 - Evolution vs. Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin & Randy Orton ***1/2
May 3rd, 2004 - Evolution (Triple H, Randy Orton & Batista) vs. Shelton Benjamin, Tajiri & Edge ***1/2
April 15th, 2004 Smackdown - The Big Show vs. Eddie Guererro ***1/2
WrestleMania XX - Christian vs. Chris Jericho ***1/2
March 1st, 2004 RAW - Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton & Batista ***1/2
March 29th, 2004 RAW - Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin ***3/4
July 15th, 2004 Smackdown - John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guererro ****
August 2nd, 2004 - Evolution (Randy Orton, Batista & Ric Flair) vs. Team Canada (Chris Jericho, Edge & Chris Benoit) ****
April 12th, 2004 RAW - Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin, Shawn Michaels & Mick Foley vs. Evolution ****
March 18th, 2004 Smackdown - Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guererro ****
May 3rd, 2004 - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit ****1/4
July 26th, 2004 RAW - Triple H vs. Chris Benoit ****1/4
June 14th, 2004 RAW - Evolution vs. Team Canada ****1/4
SummerSlam 2004 - Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit ****1/4
Royal Rumble 2004 - Rumble Match
WrestleMania XX - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H ****1/2
August 16th, 2004 - Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton ****1/2
Judgement Day 2004 - John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guererro ****1/2
No Way Out 2004 - Brock Lesnar vs. Eddie Guerrero ****1/2
Backlash 2004 - Randy Orton vs. Cactus Jack ****1/2

Top Five Wrestlers
5. Edge/Batista/Rey IDK
4. Eddie Guererro
3. Chris Jericho
2. Randy Orton
1. Chris Benoit

Top Five Tag Team
5. Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit
4. Chris Benoit & Edge
3. Randy Orton, Ric Flair & Batista
2. Ric Flair & Batista
1. Batista & Randy Orton

Best Brand
MOTHERFUCKING MONDAY MOTHERFUCKING NIGHT BY-GAWD RAW STILL!

Best Feuds
5. Chris Jericho vs. Christian/Trish Stratus
4. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero
3. Brock Lesnar vs. Eddie Guererro
2. Eddie Guererro vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
1. Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: Booker T
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE No Mercy
October 3rd, 2004
East Rutherford, New Jersey

Eddie Guererro vs. Luther Reigns (w/Mark Jindrak)
Poor Eddie, he does what he can but Luther is so fucking bad, he almost KILLS Eddie a minute in with a lariat right to the jaw, that Eddie no sells and pokes him in the eyes. I'm also starting to feel Eddie is just mailing it in at points, I don't blame him as he has to wrestler Luther, Mark and the rest of the Smackdown this whole year. Luther works the back, it's god awful he does the standing bear hug which I FUCKING HATE SO MUCH! Jindrak who is wearing Team Angle adjace sweatsuit interferes with shitty boots. Eddie has a decent comeback, he attacks the ribs and mid-section, he can't hit the three amigos so Eddie bails to the floor, he then sees a Security guard on the floor and steals his police baton and puts it in his boot, he then grabs a chair and brings it into the ring. Luther grabs the chair as Jindrak gets on the apron, so Eddie dropkicks it back into Luther's face who bumps Mark off the apron too. Eddie then heads up top but takes too much time so Luther rolls and Eddie misses the Frog Splash. The ref removes the chair, so Eddie recovers and hits Luther in the head with the police baton and goes back to selling. He now recovers and this time hits the Frog Splash for the win. **1/2

Spike Dudley (w/ The Dudley Boyz) vs. Nunzio (w/Johnny Stamboli)
This seems to be a thing, every time I skip a Smackdown match, they put it on PPV or force me to watch the rematch the next week. I don't care about this FBI shit, I don't even know if they are face or heel. Spike as the "BOSS" is still terrible, he as a heel is god awful. Him wrestling without a shirt, showing off his 8-year-old infant chest is hilarious. The Dudleyz keep getting involved to either give Spike control or to maintain it. Stamboli fights off D-Von on the floor, and behind the refs back Bubba crotches Nunzio into the ring post and Spike covers for the win. **1/4

Footage air of The Undertaker winning his first WWE championship @ Survivor Series 1991

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London
WOW! This is good, like London is going off like a madman with dives and strikes, it's not the prettiest or smoothest but the sloppiness looks realistic on how much he just wants to get his hands on Kidman. But, HOLY SHIT! BROKEN KIDMAN IS FUCKIN ON! He straight punts London in the face, where Booker smashed his nose 3 weeks ago. He then throws him rib first into the ring post and begins working it in tremendous fashion. London's selling is fan-fucking-tastic too, yelling in pain, doing the pain coughing and grabbing them for the rest of the match. London's comeback is really good too, he's selling the urgency and desperation, but keeps getting cut off with London going back to the ribs. Kidman teases going for the SSP, but rethinks it, he looks like he's about to leave but remembers his job is on the line and returns. London hits a dropkick and goes for the SSP of his own, but Kidman gets the knees up. Kidman then heads up top and hits it, with the knees hitting directly to the injured ribs for the win. ***1/4

After the Match; London is bleeding from the mouth, as Kidman grabs the mic, he says you people made me do that. And hopes they're happy. Broken Kidman goes to leave as EMT's place London on a stretcher backboard, with his legs are tied down, Kidman goes back up top and hits another SSP to London. AS TAZ CALLS HIM A SON OF A BITCH! Broken Kidman >

Footage airs of The Undertaker winning his second WWE Championship @ WrestleMania 13

Backstage: Josh Mathews is with JBL, Josh goes to ask a question, but JBL cuts him off and says the PPV is biased towards The Undertaker. He says what about him? He says every time he's defended this title, he's guaranteed victory, and tonight he.......If the Undertaker is gonna take his title it will be over his COLD DEAD BODY!

Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki come down to the ring, Rene cuts a promo in French, but KENZO SINGS BORN IN THE USA WITH AIR GUITAR

Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko & FiFi) vs. Rob Van Dam & Rey Mysterio
Much better than expected, the opening minutes with the faces running wild hitting all their flying offense, while Kenzo and Rene bump all over for them was good. RVD goes up top, but Rene shoves RVD off the top and into the rails. Sadly this is where the match goes downhill, Kenzo and Rene do stuff but it sucks, they take turns choking and new to tag team wrestling 101 offense. Rey has a fun hot tag, the match breaks down with the faces hitting a cool double team Rey moonsault, and RVD hits the Rolling Thunder. Rey then hits the 619 on Kenzo, but as he goes for the Leg Drop, Rene drags Rey down dropping him throat first onto the top rope. RVD dives on him, which allows Kenzo to roll RVD up and he grabs the ropes for extra leverage for the win. **1/2

Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show
So yeah, this. Show throws and toys with Kurt for like 4 minutes straight before Kurt has had enough and gets counted out. He then tries to run through the crowd, but GM Theodore Long comes out. He says if Kurt even thinks about dipping on him, he's fired (I don't get why wrestlers don't just be like, fuckit. I will just go to RAW, especially if I'm Kurt. You telling me Eric would be like no Kurt i don't want you on my already stacked roster) He gives Kurt a 10 second count to make it back to the ring, and if he fails surprise he's FIRED! They do a terrible job teasing it with Kurt tripping over the barricade at 8. But he makes it in at 9. Kurt quickly stalls on the floor and grabs a chair, but Show punches it back into his face. This keeps going with Show just still doing stuff, Show goes for the Chokeslam but Kurt rolls through and applies the Ankle Lock, he grapevines the ankle but breaks it just to stand up and apply the ankle lock. He has it locked in for like a minute, so RIP ANKLE LOCK EVEN MORE! Even though Kurt has prostituted it like a motherfucker since 2002. Show kicks him off and the ref gets hits. So, Kurt grabs a chair and hits him in the knee twice. Kurt continues to work it, and its the only real highlight. Show does the "slow walk" limp but does offense like the Ankle was never worked and he doesn't have a problem lifting Kurt up. Kurt hits the Angle Slam but only gets two, he then goes under the ring to get the tranquilizer gun. But, Show grabs it and breaks it over his knee. Show finally ends it with the CHOKESLAM OFF THE TOP for the win. **1/2

Eddie Guerrero DVD on sale now

Match #5 in the best of 5 for the WWE United States Championship: Booker T [2] vs. John Cena [2]
So this series has been a flop, wanna know how. The final match only gets 10 minutes. They even get the MAIN EVENT BACKSTAGE PRE-MATCH WALK! THEY USED THAT ON THIS SHIT This isn't much different than their previous matches, both men show desperation early and go for quick covers. Booker works the neck, jaw area I feel like he's worked the same area and holds in every match. It's all forgettable anyway, Cena has a decent comeback and goes right into the 5 moves of doom, he's replaced the throwback with a running bulldog so their's that. Booker blocks the FU into the Bookend but Cena kicks out. Booker then grabs a chair, as the ref tells him if he brings it into the ring he will DQ him on the spot? WHAT WHEN THE FUCK DID REFS HAVE THAT TYPE OF STROKE! Cole then says "If Booker gets DQ'ed he loses the title" WHAT?!?!?! WHEN?!?!? I WATCH THIS SHIT SHOW EVERY WEEK AND THEY'VE NEVER BROUGHT IT UP! Booker misses the scissors kick and Cena hits the FU for the win. **1/4

Footage airs of The Undertaker winning his third WWE Championship @ Over The Edge 1999

The Dudley Boyz & Dawn Marie vs. Charlie Haas, Rico & Miss Jackie
Oh, you have got to be kidding me. WHY? WHY IS THIS ON PPV? WHO GAVE THIS 8 MINUTES? I hate you 2004 Smackdown if it wasn't for Brock/Eddie, and JBL/Eddie feuds you might be worse than 2002 and 2003 RAW's This is mostly Dawn seducing Charlie and Jackie losing her shit, Rico makes out with Bubba cause, yeah, faces win. I DON'T CARE!

Footage airs of The Undertaker winning his fourth WWE Championship @ Judgment Day 2002

Undertake/JBL video package

Last Ride Match for the WWE Championship: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. The Undertaker
Basically, an ambulance match, lol at Cole saying he doesn't know what to expect as this just a first-ever match. This is still a bunch of fun, Taker dominates like 80% of the match, like JBL connects with a few punches and boots to the head but it's all Taker. They do a couple of early hearse teases but it goes nowhere, the match picks up a ton when they begin brawling on the floor and Taker blocks a JBL powerbomb off the steps and comes back by Tombstoning JBL onto the steps. JBL again has a great bladejob, say what you want about his title reign but the man knows how to get color in his matches. He follows up by Chokeslamming JBL from one announce table to the other one. He takes him up to the hearse, but Heidenreich busts out of the back, he has a rag or something and places it over Takers' mouth, he places Taker in the back but as the hearse drives off Taker kicks open the door. He fights Heidenreich off, but JBL hits a sweet clothesline from hell on Taker. Heidenreich and JBL team up and place Taker in the hearse and this time it drives off. JBL WINS! ***

After the match; JBL grabs the mic and says you never bet against him, and he is the greatest champion of all time.

In the parking lot; Heidenreich goes into an SUV, and Paul Heyman gets out of the driver's seat in the hearse. Heidenreich drives the car into the side of the hearse, KILLING THE UNDERTAKER! Heyman says "He did it" and says they gotta go.

the explosion before the car even hits the hearse ​

 

[Chris]

Booker would have lost the title by DQ just bc that would have given Cena the third win I assume, not bc of any special stipulation. Like how titles could technically change hands in two out of three falls matches by DQ and shit

Also I own that Eddie DVD

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Monday Night RAW
October 4th, 2004
Madison Square Garden: New York City

Flair/Orton video package

Tonight: Michaels vs. Christian & KANE RETURNS!

Triple H & Ric Flair come down to the ring, Flair says last week, he came out here and said that Triple H was the greatest wrestler alive............I WAS WRONG! HE IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL TIME! And I am the only man that can ever say that. Flair says the reason Orton isn't here tonight, is because Eric has barred him from the building for safety reasons. He says in his eyes Orton hasn't beaten any legends so he's a VIRGIN! He is a virgin when it comes to killing legends so at Taboo Tuesday it's you and me, but one slight problem in either a Falls Count Anywhere, Submission, or Steel Cage Match. And he's gonna take Orton to school all night long. Triple H says talks about how bad it is having the fans vote on his fate, and calls Taboo Tuesday a joke and a sham. Chris Jericho comes out, Jericho says this isn't a repeat Triple H really is still complaining about the PPV. He says Triple H has it all wrong, everyone has the right to vote, and asks the crowd "who thinks HHH is the greatest wrestler live" BOOOOOOOOO! "greatest wrestler ever" BOOOOOOOO! "greatest horses ass of all time" YAAAAAAY! Jericho takes credit for Taboo Tuesday and says he can't wait till Triple H loses the World Title. Flair loses his shit and calls Jericho down to the ring, but Jericho goes to the back and grabs a chair. As he makes his return, Batista jumps him from behind. It's 3-1 in the ring, but Benoit comes out to even the odds to second or so. EDGE THEN MAKES HIS RETURN AND THEY CLEAR THE RING OF EVOLUTION.

Backstage: Coachman interviews Christian and Tomko, Christian calls New Yorkers ignorant, and asks why does Shawn get so much credit for his Ladder match at WrestleMania X when he lost, but he, on the other hand, won his match at WrestleMania XX. He says everyone still holds a torch for HBK, but tonight, he's taking the torch and never giving it back.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian (w/Tyson Tomko)
This starts off really well, Shawn plays the vet being one step ahead of Christian using his momentum against him and using the headlock effectively. Christian takes over with some hair pulling but his control period is kinda weak, it's basically bunches to the head and chest it really goes nowhere a Shawn has a shitty comeback and signals for SCM but Tomko pulls Christian to the floor, Shawn does his baseball slide and hits the swinging neckbreaker on Christian and nails Tomko with a Superkick taking him out. Once we return from break, Tomko is helped to the back and Christian is back in control it's much better than the previous one, as he seems to turn up the aggressiveness, Shawn does his usual comeback but Christian hits the Unprettirer but Shawn kicks out, and WHAT THE FUCK CHRISTIAN LOSES TO THE ELBOW DROP RIGHT INTO SWEET CHIN MUSIC! WTF NO ONE HAS JOBBED TO THAT SEQUENCE I FEEL SINCE 1995? FUCK YOU RAW! 2004 YOU COULD HAVE BUILT ANOTHER UPPER MID-CARD GUY! BUT NOPE! ONCE AGAIN IT'S FUCK YOU CLB YOU STAY A MID-CARD/NOBODY BUT A GOOD HAND GUY. SMH! **1/2

Tonight: Chris Benoit vs. Batista, & Chris Jericho vs. Triple H.

Earlier Today; Todd Grisham interviews Lita, she says the past 6 months have been hell. She says she regrets what she put herself, Matt and Kane, through but doesn't regret her pregnancy. She says she was devastated when she found out Kane was the dad, she says the baby was the only innocent thing in all of this, and now she will never know what her baby boy looks like and will never hold him. Todd tells her what Snitsky said about it not being his fault, and Lita asks whose fault it is then. She says she saved Snitsky from getting his throat crushed, and then he goes and knocks Kane into her, killing her baby. She says she has no love for Kane, but for once, she hopes he does what he says and makes Snitsky a DEAD MAN!

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is talking to someone off screen, he says his word is his bond and shakes a hand, it appears to be a woman's hand. She gets her match at Taboo Tuesday, and he gets what he needs. Coach walks in and sees her, and asks if Eric can trust her. Eric says to trust him, and he tells Coach to go get Eugene to the ring because he has an announcement soon about their match at Taboo Tuesday. Coach then tries to get out of interviewing Snitsky in the ring with Kane here, so Eric assigns the job to JR instead.

Jim Ross is in the ring, he brings out Gene Snitsky who comes out pushing a baby stroller IS THIS THE WEEK?!?!?!?!?!?!!? Snitsky says "IT WASN'T MY FAULT" KANE comes out, and JR leaves ASAP. Snitsky throws the baby stroller at Kane and pulls out a steel pipe, he hits Kane in the midsection with it and begins hitting him all over his body. He nails Kane in the head, busting him open with it. He begins choking Kane with the pipe and leaves Kane in a pool of his blood.

Chris Benoit vs. Batista (w/Ric Flair)
Way too fucking short, like 3 minutes or so, Batista goes right into his awesome clubbing offense but it backfires and Benoit targets the leg, that only lasts 30 seconds or so They go back and forth doing stuff, it all feels rushed Benoit hits the 6 Germans but Batista power outs of the crossface sending Benoit to the floor, where Flair low blows him and sends him into the ring post. Well, Orton runs from the back and attacks Batista for the DQ. *3/4

He cleans house on both Flair and Batista, Orton then follows Flair on the floor and beats the shit out of him. Eric and security come out. he has Orton ejected from the building. Batista and Flair go after him, and security has to hold the two sides apart as Orton is dragged out.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring, he says Orton has successfully been thrown out of the building, and as long as he's out here he's gonna update everyone on Taboo Tuesday. He books Snitsky vs. Kane, and it will be a weapon of a choice match. Ledpipe, steel chair, or steel chain. He says for Jericho IC's title match, everyone who doesn't have a match for Taboo Tuesday will be on the ballot for the match, 20 or so people. He says he wants to see them all in his office. He says lastly, his match. And calls Eugene down to the ring. THIS MOTHERFUCKERS ARM IS ALREADY OUT OF THE SLING? FUCK THIS! Uncle Eric says someone in the back has a huge crush on him and brings out Carmella. He says she has a match with Christy at the PPV and explains to Eugene that Carmella was in Playboy. She says Eugene is so hot, but his only flaw is that she loves bald-headed men. Eric says if they had a hair match at Taboo Tuesday and Eugene lost on purpose, she'd think he was perfect, so Eugene agrees. Under the condition that she kisses him right NOW. Carmella tells Eric she can't do this, and Eugene says "I WANNA SEE HER BOBBIES" Carmella says Eugene and all these people are not in her league. Eric says this hasn't turned out like he liked, but she still has her match, Christy comes out. She shoves Carmella and makes out with Eugene, she then takes Eugene to the back with her. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

WWE World Tag Team Championships: La Resistance vs. The Hurricane & Rosey
This is garbage, but thankfully only lasts a minute or so, it's basically Hurricane and Rosey not being on the same page and the crowd being dead the whole time. Champs retain.

Simon Dean - "The Simon System"

Backstage: Coachman interviews Edge, Coach asks him why the fans should vote for him, he says unlike Benoit and Michaels who has faced him Triple H a million times this year, he has faced Triple H a grand total of 0 times. And had 0 world title matches. He lists his accomplishments and says the fans should vote for him because deep down the fans know he deserves it.

In Eric's office, Eric has all the jobbers, mid-cards long with Shelton and Batista. Eric says tonight they'll have a shot to see Jericho in action, as they'll be the lumberjacks in the main event, for the Triple H vs. Chris Jericho match. UGH!

Trish Stratus joins commentary, she calls Christy a slut for last week.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly
This happens, it's pretty whatever. Trish tried to interfere but it backfired and Stacy got a roll up to win.

Lumberjack Match: Chris Jericho vs. Triple H
This goes 4 or 5 minutes, so that sucks and it's a Lumberjack match, so that makes it even worse. Heels attack Jericho on the floor, while Shelton and Regal attack Hunter on the floor. They keep doing that in between spots which kills the flow of the match. Jericho goes to put Hunter in the walls, but Hunter powers out and on the floor, Christian low bridges Jericho to the floor and puts the boots to him. Rhyno comes over and chases off Christian, but when he rolls Jericho back in. Jericho kicks him cause Jericho thought it was Rhyno Jericho hits the running Bulldog but misses the Lionsault, he now locks in the Walls but Flair comes out, so Jericho knocks him off. Jericho then his a dive whipping out Flair and others. He then hits the back elbow on Hunter but behind the refs back, Rhyno GORE's Jericho and Hunter covers for the win. **

After the match; Everyone brawls, blah blah blah......................BUT ORTON'S BACK! HE STARTS KILING EVERYONE WITH RKO'S, And again JR losing his voice why screaming RKO is the greatest. RKOMania.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: John Cena
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
October 7th, 2004
TD Garden: Boston, Massachusetts

Tonight: Jindrak vs. Big Show & JBL vs. Holly II

John Cena comes down to the ring, he says life is pretty good right now, he says usually he comes out here and makes a whole bunch of jokes, but first he wants to give Booker some respect....after about 2 seconds he stops and says look at Michael Cole, he rips him for being gay, ugly and listening to music. Thankfully, Carilio comes out. Carlito says Cena winning the US title was cool, and since people that wear that Red Sox's jersey never win anything, anyway. He says he just had to come out and meet the person who calls himself the coolest person on Smackdown....well, Carlito doesn't think he's cool. and thinks he's a punk. Carlito spits on people who are punks and don't want to be cool. Cena says he's in the wrong part of town, and tonight if he bites that apple, he won't spit, because he'll make him swallow. Carlito says that's funny, what else is funny it took Cena 5 matches to win the title, he just needs 1. Cena accepts, but Carlito says right now isn't cool. Carlito needs to change, but later on, tonight is cool. Carlito offers the handshake but Cena does the U CAN'T C ME! So Carlito kicks him in the gut and drops Cena with a DDT. He then spits the apple in Cena's face

Kenzo Suzuki, Rene Dupree, and Hiroko come down to the ring.

I found the tron/mesh-up theme Tell me this shit don't go hard?

​

DAMMIT! The network cut out KENZO singing ""New York, New York" FUCK!!!!!!!

Kenzo Suzuki (w/Rene Dupree & Hiroko) vs. Rey Mysterio (w/Rob Van Dam)
3 Minutes of nothing. Rey wins. Blah.

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews JBL, JBL says as a great president said NO NEW CHAMPION! He says he didn't know Heidenreich was in the back of the hearse, but he's still the WWE Champion and is the greatest champion ever. He says a great New Yorker like him having to face a NASCAR loving redneck like Hardcore Holly is unfair, and Holly is crazy. He says he'll do it because his fans expect it though, and forces Josh to start a JBL chant as he walks off.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Hardcore Holly
Not as good as last week, but still really physical. Hardcore attacks JBL's cut which gets opened up immediately. They go back and forth just beating the shit out of one another, sadly it's mostly Holly but it makes sense as JBL is coming off a Last Ride match where he got is ass kicked for 12 of the 17 minutes maybe. The match ends when Holly ducks the Clothesline from hell and hits the Alabama Slama. But, JBL rolls to the floor and crawls up the ramp. But as the ref counts, OJ is grabbing Hollys' leg from the floor stopping him from going after JBL so he wins via countout. **1/2

BROKEN KIDMAN VIDEO PACKAGE! Wait, it's just a Chavo is returning in 2 weeks vid UGH!

Backstage: Theodore Long is with Paul Heyman, T.Long says what they did or tried to do at No Mercy was terrible and will never again happen on his watch. He tells Heyman that when the Jaws of Life were used to open the hearse, The Undertaker wasn't in the hearse, and he's not going to punish Heyman or Heidenreich, he'll let Taker get them in his own time. (Well, I mean it did take Paul 3 minutes to drive to the back, and another minute for Heidenreich to drive down that long ass tunnel that barely even touched the hearse, I think taker can recover in 4 minutes from a weaken JBL clothesline. plus the camera didn't even show the back of the hearse, Taker could have slipped out at any time)

RAW REBOUND!

Theodore Long books JBL vs. Hardcore for next week, in a Hardcore Rules, match for the WWE Championship.

Kurt Angle comes out with Mark Jindrak, but he joins commentary but doesn't speak. So, Yeah.

Mark Jindrak (w/Kurt Angle) vs. The Big Show
Show showcase, so fuck this. Poor Eddie still being involved with these sacks of shits.

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Carlito, they show footage of Carlito/Cena from earlier tonight. Carlito says Josh isn't cool, wish is frosted tips, fake tan, ugly shirt. He says he didn't disrespect Cena, Cena disrespected him when he refused to shake his hand. He says before this night is over, everyone is gonna respect him. When his wins the US title, the champion of the US will finally be cool.

Billy Kidman vs. Charlie Haas (w/Miss Jackie)
More garbage, they just do mindless shit for a few minutes, Kidman goes for the SSP but Jackie enters the ring to protect Haas. She then goes to slap him but he blocks and hits her dumbass with the BK BOMB! HE THEN DROPKICKS HAAS AND THROWS THE REF OUT.................HE THEN TEASES THE SSP TO JACKIE BUT LEAVES. FUCK YOU KIDMAN. DO IT PUSSY! Rico comes out and the match ends. Refs and EMT's come out to check on Jackie after little BK bomb

Backstage: OJ bumps into Booker T, he taunts Booker for his catchphrases and Booker tells him not to touch him ever. Booker says he ain't taking no crap from a two-piece suit wearing, coffee grabbing, bag handling, suck up ass kissing bitch like him. NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKAAAAAAAA.

Last Ride Highlights.

Tough Enough videos air.

Heidenreich comes out with Heyman, and Heidenreich reads poetry, he goes to leave.........but goes into the crowd and beats up a fan who booed his poetry. I DON'T CARE! HE ISN'T GOOD, HE ISN'T A THREAT! NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS FAILED POETRY SHIT! JUST GIVE ME THAT ONE GOOD MOMENT AND FUCK OFF FOREVER!

WWE United States Championship: Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. John Cena
And the shit just keeps on shitting. This gets 15 minutes, it's bland and boring, angry Cena is good start but he doesn't keep that same energy and goes back into his mid-card average. He dominates for the first 7 minutes straight, Carlito bumps like he's still green he does nothing impressive or memorable the whole match outside some funny facial expressions selling the fear. His control is even worse, he has that fresh out the developmental offense it's basic, I think it's in 2006 when he starts getting good but that's for like 4 months and then he's back to being a fuck up. I think. So, yeah after a lackluster Carlito iso period Cena makes a comeback, he does his 5 moves of doom but as he goes for the FU Carlito grabs the ropes so Cena bumps him over the top. Carlito grabs the US title but Cena takes it away, and the ref takes it from him. Carlito then grabs Cena's chain and KNOCKS HIM OUT WITH IT! He then pins Cena for the win. **

After the match; Carlito has the ref put the belt around him, and puts on Cena's chain.

I HATE 2004 SMACKDOWN RIGHT NOW, and tbf RAW has fallen some too. It's not this bad, cause Smackdown is reaching 02/03 RAW level.

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Monday Night RAW
October 11th, 2004
Manchester, England

Storytime: I remember, I asked and begged my mom to go to this show, she said NO! 1, because it's in Manchester and we live in London. 2, it was a school night and she had work the next day and finished at 7 pm that night. So I was heartbroken as young Fab was miserable for 2 whole weeks. So I boycotted myself from ever watching this raw. Yeah, jokes on me.

FIRST TIME WATCHING!

Tonight: Trish/Stacy - Women's Championship, La Resistance vs. Regal/Eugene - Tag Titles, and Evolution vs. Benoit/Edge/Michaels

WWE Woman's Championship: Stacy Keibler vs. Trish Stratus
Stacy tries but the poor girl isn't that good, at least her legs are looking oiled up Trish works Stacys' legs with is the most logical thing she could have done because it's pretty much all Stacy's offense. Stacy sells better than 90% of the Smackdown roster, she doesn't even get a comeback which is dope cause she isn't a wrestler it ends up with Trish basically toying with her before kicking her in the bad knee and hitting the chic kick for the win. **

After the match; Molly runs down and attacks Stacy, but Nidia makes the save, then Gail comes out but Victoria even's the odds with the faces clearing the ring, Stacy even selling after the match. God bless that fine ass woman.

Simon Dean "Simon System" Shit from last week airs again

WWE World Tag Team Championships: La Resistance vs. William Regal & Eugene
The crowd is super hot for Regal so it makes this way better than it should be. Regal is great in this, Eugene does his steal everyone's shit stuff to where the fans chant "WE WANT REGAL" La Resistance has like a 30-second iso on Euegen and they go right into this dope Regal hot tag, just killing the Resistance with uppercuts and suplexes. Regal puts on the brass knuckles as Eugene takes out Conway, he KO's Sylvan and covers for the win.

During the break, Uncle Eric came out and restarted the match.

The Resistance are back controlling Eugene, lots of toying and shit, Regal has another dope hot tag, he cleans house and the match breaks down, but Conway hit him with the flagpole, and Sylvan rolls him up, grabbing the tights for the win. **1/2

Taboo Tuesday voting commercial

Backstage: La Resistance is celebrating when Uncle Eric comes over to them, he yells at them for not softening up Eugene. He says they now have to wrestle and defend their tag titles at Taboo Tuesdays against the losers who don't get voted into the World Title match.

Backstage: Evolution are talking, Hunter says everyone is coming at him, Flair says they can't beat him. Batista says he has his back and front. Hunter asks if they understand that they're coming from all sides. Batista says nobody gets to him without going through he & Flair, and nobody goes through he and Flair. Hunter pats him on the back and said he always knew Batista was the future.

Recap of Snitsky brutalizing Kane last week.

Live via Satellite; Snitsky says he knew what he was doing last week, he had a bloodthirsty maniac coming after him for something that wasn't his fault. Kane left him 3 choices A, run and hide. B, throw my hand and allow him to abuse me. or C, Make the first move. Kane threatened my life. HE SAYS SNITSKY IS A DEAD MAN! THE ONLY THING DEAD AROUND HERE IS YOUR BABY! Snitsky says when he gets done with Kane at Taboo Tuesday he will be the only thing crying like a baby (insert Snitsky making crying sounds) Kane watches on in RAGE!

The Hurricane & Rosey are in the ring, with Steven Richards and Val Venis..............................BUT FUCK ALL THAT! KANE COMES OUT! He takes them all out, before grabbing a chair and further killing Val, Rosey, and Hurricane with chair shots. Steven ran through the crowd tho. Val then tries to crawl, but Kane kills him with 12 chairs shots to the body.

Randy Orton comes down to the ring, Orton says ever since his match was announced he's had some mixed emotions, he's gonna be in the ring with someone he's idolized his who life. He says he has mixed emotions, on one hand, Flair cost him the World Heavyweight Championship, for that he will get even. But on the other hand, he sees Ric the shell of a man, and I feel pity for the man. Because I WANNA FACE THE LEGENDARY NATURE BOY! Not the Ric Flair that can't stand on his own who took a backseat ride in Evolution. Ric Flair comes out now but stops on the ramp. Flair says did he hear him correctly? Flair says he's the most famous legend of them all, and when he sees Randy in his custom suits and Rolex watches, he looks like a champion. But, I AM THE MAN! I INVENTED BEING "THE MAN" I AM THE ORIGINAL "LIMOUSINE RIDIN! JET FLYIN! SON OF A GUN!" I've kissed so many women, on the lips in the past 30 years, they remember that moment forever. He calls Orton great, and says not to worry about a shell of a man showing up BECAUSE HE'S GOT THE NATURE BOY! He says if Orton beats him at Taboo Tuesday, he'll allow Orton to ride his limo and kiss some of the women. Orton says he's already got the limo and plenty or woman. He tells Ric he put him in the position and after Taboo Tuesday he will respect him.

Jerry "THE KING" Lawler is with 4 of the page 3 thots.

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno
This happens, it isn't really good as it's mostly Rhyno. After about 3 to 4 minutes Christian and Tomko run out attacking both men to the No Contest. They beat them down until Coach comes out and makes this a tag team match.

Chris Jericho & Rhyno vs. Christian & Tyson Tomko
still kinda lackluster, heels iso Rhyno who is just bad, not enough Jericho/Christian at all. Jericho has an okayish hot tag, the match breaks down with Rhyno hitting Tomko with the GORE and Jericho follows up hitting the Lionsault for the win. *3/4

After the Match; Christian hits Rhyno with the Intercontinental Championship, but Jericho locks him in the walls. Batista then runs out hitting Jericho from behind with the knockout Lariat. He beats on Jericho and lays him out with the Batista Bomb before holding up the Intercontinental Championship.

Backstage: Chris Benoit is warming up when Shawn Michaels come over. He says he's gonna be honest and do what's best for him. Benoit question's him on that, and Shawn says he's gonna do what he always does, steal the show and show the fans why they should vote for him. Benoit says he's not gonna just sit back, and if he wants a shot at Triple H, he's gonna have to pry him off of H first, because he's going to show what the Crippler can do, and why he should win the vote. Edge comes over and says and thanks them for inviting him. He repeats that they've had title shots over and over and over again, but he hasn't, and tonight, he'll prove that worthy of a title match, and he'll see them out there.

SMACKDOWN REBOUND!

Jim Ross says last week in a night club Cena was involved in an altercation and has been in a medial facility this week. OH SHIT! IT'S HAPPENING!

Christy/Carmella video package, cause yeah that's what people wanna see

Taboo Tuesday HYPE!

UK losers hype up this RAW!

Chris Benoit, Edge & Shawn Michaels vs. Evolution
Lowkey, fuck Benoit for wearing blue while Shawn and Edge both wear red. It's not a pet peeve like when two wrestlers are facing off and have the same color on, but I always like when guys team up, that aren't normally partners wear matching color attire. I'm weird like that. Might be a Virgo thing. GODDAMMIT! Flair is in red. This gets 15 minutes, so yeah it fuckin rules we get all the usual pairings which rule, but the face team also have signs of dissension and spotlight stealing. Benoit killing Flair with chops will never not be amazing. During the break, Batista rams Benoit into the apron so Evolution isolates him and working over the back. They all take turns working it, Batista with awesome powermoves and strikes, Hunter who barely gets in but when he does he does his "Shawn back work" with awesome hard Irish whips into the corner. Flair doesn't really ignore the back instead get his own back with chops and punches and cheating antics, so I'll give him a pass. Shawn does his little comeback, as the match breaks down. Batista is rammed into the ringpost by Benoit. Shawn then counters the pedigree into the backdrop and Benoit hits the diving headbutt. Shawn then signals for Sweet Chin Music, but Edge blind tags in just like Shawn did to him earlier. They have words but Edge storms off to Triple H, who kicks him in the gut. But, Shawn superkicks Hunter, but from the floor, Batista pulls Shawn out of the ring and Edge covers for the win. Solid shit. But these Evolution tags are really mission Orton's awesome control periods, he was the backbone of the tags. ***1/4

After the match; Edge grabs the mic and tells everyone he just proved he deserves the world title match. He says a vote for Benoit and Shawn is a vote wasted. Benoit grabs the mic and yells at him, and says he made Hunter tap and will make him tap again. Shawn then says they can debate this all night, but he's been beating up Triple H 10 years in and outside of the ring. He says he wants to take a pole right here, Edge gets BOOOOOO's, Benoit gets a mid-solid POP! But as he starts talking about himself. EDGE SPEARS MICHAELS! Benoit and Edge start talking, but Uncle Eric comes out and books a Triple Threat for RAW next week. Benoit goes to check up on Shawn, but as he turns around he walks into an Edge spear.

 

[Cwalker]

I vaguely remember a lot of fuckery surrounding the WHC at the end of 04/beginning of 05

 

[Chris]

I vaguely remember a lot of fuckery surrounding the WHC at the end of 04/beginning of 05

Yeah gets vacated only for trips to just win it back so there wasn't really a point. The Raws after survivor series are gonna be weird af due to that stipulation in the elimination match lmao

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: Carlito Caribbean Cool
WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
October 14th, 2004
Manchester, England

Earlier Today; Theodore Long has the entire Smackdown locker room, he says Cena will not be here tonight and doesn't know when he will be back. He says Cena asked him to keep what happened to him privately, but since RAW said it on air without any warning he thinks it's now fair game to talk about it He says last week, Cena went to the club............AND WAS PUNCTURED IN THE KIDNEYS! T.Long says the show goes on and books a #1 contenders match for the United States Championship. WHY IS CARLITO NODDING HIS HEAD APPROVING WHEN HE IS THE US CHAMPION? Carlito goes up to Long and says, it was bound to happen with one of those hip-hop guys and leaves. Teddy then begins to think about it.

Tonight: Battel Royal & Holly/JBL III

Rob Van Dam vs. Rene Dupree (w/FiFi)
NOPE!

Earlier Today; Theodore Long and Paul Heyman are talking, Long blames Heyman for what happened last week, he says he's been on the phone with the board of directors all week, and if he gets fired he taking him and his boy down with him. Long says they're lucky the fans didn't press charges but they are being sued. He tells Heyman to get his boy and make a public apology. And if he doesn't or if Hidenrick pulls another stunt god help him. Heyman asks if The Undertaker is here, and Long laughs him off.

Tonight: Luther vs. Eddie

Charlie Haas vs. Billy Kidman
So, Haas injured his knee on the tour, he's limping pretty bad and had has knee bandaged up. Haas does his best angry husband offense it's pretty funny, Kidman targets the knee and it's great, yeah, and because it's a legit injury Haas' selling is tremendous. Kidman wraps the knee around the ring post and hits the SSP to the injured knee Dawn comes out crying and shit. **1/2

Broken Kidman laves as Haas refuses the stretcher and is helped to the back by ref Nick Patrick and Dawn Marie.

Backstage: Luther Reigns is with the page 3 girls, Luther hits on them and shit. But the girls say they're already seeing someone...EDDIE GUERERRO! Luther then says he lied when he called them hot

Backstage: Josh Mathews is with JBL, JBL says The Undertaker almost ended his career at No Mercy, he says he can't even get his $1000 cowboy hat on cause his head is so swollen. He says 3 weeks in a row having to face Holly is insane, he asks why all this bad stuff is happening to him. He calls himself the GREATEST TECHNICAL WRESTLER OF ALL TIME! And says he isn't a brawler JBL says having to come to the UK with the barbaric fans, who can't even spell JBL.

Recap of Carlito/Cena from last week.

Number #1 Contenders Battle Royal match for the United States Championship
The participants are, Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Eddie Guerrero, Funaki, Johnny Stamboli, Kenzo Suzuki, Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, Nunzio, Orlando Jordan, Rene Dupree, Rico, Rob Van Dam, Scotty 2 Hotty and Spike Dudley.

Eddie Guerrero eliminated Orlando Jordan
Kurt Angle eliminated Funaki
Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree eliminated Nunzio
Rene Dupree eliminated Kenzo Suzuki
Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak eliminate Johnny Stamboli
Rob Van Dam eliminated Spike Dudley
Bubba Ray Dudley & D-Von Dudley eliminate Rob Van Dam
Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio eliminate The Dudleyz
Kurt Angle eliminated Scotty 2 Hotty
Rico eliminates Rene Dupree
Rey Mysterio eliminated Billy Kidman
Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak eliminate Rico
Eddie Guerrero eliminated Mark Jindrak
Luther Reigns eliminated Eddie Guerrero
Rey Mysterio eliminated Luther Reigns

Kurt/Rey have a solid 5-minute showcase, they do their usual stuff. Tons of spots, reversals, counters out of finishers. And close eliminations, the match ends when Kurt hits a release German but Rey counters the Angle Slam into a 'rana sending Kurt to the apron, Rey then goes to the other side and hits the 619 swinging around the post to knock Kurt from the apron for the win.

Backstage: Josh Mathews is with Rey Mysterio, but Carlito comes up to him, he says that cool for guys like him, you know guys that hide behind masks. They ain't cool like him. He says he doesn't want to wait, he wants to defend his title tonight. Rey accepts. Rey then turns his back so Carlito attacks him from behind, before spitting the apple in his face.

Hardcore Rules match for the WWE Championship: John Bradshaw Layfield (w/Orlando Jordan) vs. Hardcore Holly
JBL COMING OUT IN A FUCKING ALL WHITE ROLLS ROYCE WITH THE LONGHORNS More of the usual, sadly Holly is back to fucking sucking, he doesn't bring the intensity or real fight like in the past two matches. The usual all the standard hardcore weapons, signs, trashcan lids, trashcan shit like that. WAIT WHY DOESN'T OJ JUST GET INVOLVED?!?!?! HE CAN'T BE DQ'ED OR REALLY SENT TO THE BACK. Holly backdrops JBL onto the announce table, which doesn't break but gets a two count. Now OJ gets involved but he gets killed with a trashcan, Holly goes to pick up the steps but JBL FUCKING KILLS HIM WITH A CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD for the win. **1/4

UK losers again hype being at this shitshow.

Paul Heyman & Heidenreich come down to the ring, Heyman and Heidenreich read an apology that Heyman pre-wrote, he says he doesn't, however, apologize on what he did to The Undertaker, he says he brought the fight to the Undertaker and challenges him to fight right NOW! Heidenreich says if Taker doesn't come out he will make someone in the crowd pay. Heidenreich leaves the ring and gets in the fans face who just laugh, cause yeah. WE AIN'T PUSSY! Heidenreich starts punching himself in the head and having some kind of hilarious meltdown in the ring. Thankfully the camera cuts away cause this is some of the worse shit ever.

OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHAVO NEXT WEEK!

United States Championship: Rey Mysterio vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool
Much better showing from Carlito here, he's much more aggressive and cheats a lot to gain control. Plus Rey is a much better bumper than Cena, plus with the size difference Carlito and bully. Rey does some all his shit off though. Carlito's arm work is solid, he works is some but then attacks the back or chest, plus it's Rey he doesn't sell 1 body part you think he can sell 3 LOOOOL! Rey has a decent comeback hitting all his stuff, but adding new stuff like machine gun punches to the gut and the mouse tap pin but only gets two. They go back and forth trading moves, with Rey hitting the 619 but Carlito catches him out of mid-air and locks in an armbar, but Rey gets to the ropes. Carlito again counters the 'rana into a roll up and grabs the ropes for the win. **1/2

Eddie Guererro vs. Luther Reigns
Poor Eddie, thankfully this shit goes like 3 minutes. Mark Jindrak runs down and helps Luther throw Eddie into the steps for the DQ. They put the boots to Eddie and leave him laying. FUCK SMACKDOWN! Kurt then comes out with the razors and scissors but Show makes the save and cleans house.

 

[Crippler]

Yeah gets vacated only for trips to just win it back so there wasn't really a point. The Raws after survivor series are gonna be weird af due to that stipulation in the elimination match lmao

you kidding me, that's the shit I'm looking forward to the most. I haven't seen like 2 or 3 of them.

 

[Cwalker]

you kidding me, that's the shit I'm looking forward to the most. I haven't seen like 2 or 3 of them.

I’m assuming youve seen the triple threat that lead to all the fuckery

 

[Chris]

you kidding me, that's the shit I'm looking forward to the most. I haven't seen like 2 or 3 of them.

As a kid I loved the guest gm stuff but I've never rewatched them and Maven gets to he GM for a week so bruh idk about it

 

[Crippler]

I’m assuming youve seen the triple threat that lead to all the fuckery

Nope only what was shown on the RAW REBOUND shown that week on Smackdown

As a kid I loved the guest gm stuff but I've never rewatched them and Maven gets to he GM for a week so bruh idk about it

13 Year old me totally thought Maven was gonna take the Evolution spot