WWE Raw, Smackdown, PPV's 2004 Review Thread (Maybe HeAT & Velocity Matches)

[Chris]

Lmao don't they try and run with some kind of crippler gimmick for Kidman after that botch

 

[Crippler]

Lmao don't they try and run with some kind of crippler gimmick for Kidman after that botch

UGH!

 

[Deezy]

started out with a broken Kidman gimmick first.

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Edge
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Monday Night RAW
August 30th, 2004
Cow Palace: San Francisco, California

Evolution comes out, and they come out to the EVOLUTION MUSIC! WHICH MEANS...........Anyway, Triple grabs the mic and says this is Evolution, and he made it happen. And if you don't believe it ask around, ask Batista ask Flair, just read the book. I PICKED RIC BACK TO THE TOP! And I guided BATISTA into the Animal he is today, Orton was supposed to be his pet project and his successor, i crafted you to be the guy after me, i stood by you during the injuries and all the crap, and how do you repay me. YOU SPIT IT MY FACE! he says he brought him in and will take him out of this world, and calls Orton out right now. "HEY! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY! SAY!" DEBUTS Orton comes out, but first he has 3 pictures covered up come out on the stage. Orton says don't call me Randy Orton, call me champ and before he comes down let's talk about something. Yeah, you were right and help him. He thanks Hunter for giving him the opportunity but unveils the first picture of them all following Triple H down to the ring. He says Evolution isn't about them, it's not about the past, present, and future, but it was about protecting him, and sooner or later, Batista and Flair are gonna realize that. Hunter says it's true, because he made it, and yells that if it wasn't for Evolution's protection, Randy Orton would be nowhere, and would not be standing as champion. Orton shows the 2nd photo as him pinning Chris Benoit, and notes that he needed no help to do it, and it's something none of them could do. He says he learned well from Triple H to never reveal what he's thinking, and his 3rd photo is of him spitting in Triple H's face, and he says he's wanted to do that for a long time. He says if he wants a fight, he's on, but since Hunter has some friends, he brought one of his own. Orton reaches behind the 3rd photo, and pulls out the Triple H's best friend...................a sledgehammer! He walks down with it and gets in, and swings at Evolution but they all bail and duck out of the ring and run around the ring.

Tonight: Regal/Batista & Flair/Benoit & Hunter/Eugene - NoDq Match

Backstage: Eric Bischoff has security escort, Orton, out. He demands that he drops the sledgehammer immediately, so Orton drops it on his foot and leaves.

Rhyno & Tajiri vs. La Resistance & Jonathan Coachman
Not good, way too much Rhyno and way too much Heels being shit on offense.

Recap of the "Wedding From Hell"

Backstage: Kane goes into a dark room, he says do not come out until he says so, he wants this to be a surprise he wife never forgets so. (EVIL KANE LAUGH!)

Backstage: Eugene thanks Regal for the good times they had last night, seeing the Giants game and shit. Regal tells him to go concentrate on his match with Triple H tonight. He also says he doesn't want him coming out for his match tonight, he says Triple H wants to take him out tonight. But Eugene only cares about Baseball phrases.

Batista vs. William Regal
Fun, but way too short Regal tries to fight and throws awesome forearms but Batista doesn't budge and ends up beating the shit out of him for the most part. Regal has a brief comeback, but it's not built up like Regal can win. Flair ends up coming down and nails Regal with some brass knuckles in the ribs for revenge. FUCK YEAH! Batista ends up hitting the knockout Lariat for the win. **1/2

Stacy Keibler comes out looking all-time level of hot, WOW! She brings out the remaining 5 Diva Contestants. Maria is eliminated, she hugs everyone but Carmella and flips her off behind her back and leaves. Stacy says being a Diva means talking in front of a live audience, and since they don't all get along, their next challenge is "Diss the diva" The rules are, each Diva has 30 seconds and they have to diss all the contestants left. NO WORDS JUST WATCH!

​

SEGMENT OF THE DECADE! If one segment needed the Rock, this would be it.

Backstage: Kane is dragging Lita, they bump into Trish and Tomko, Trish says they're just like a real married couple, and Kane's already taking out the trash! Kane pretends to be mad, but laughs and says that was a good one, and drags Lita off with him.

JR announces Matt had surgery this past week and will be out for a couple of months.

Kane drags Lita with him down to the ring, Kane says of all the pieces of property his owns, she is his favorite. And says he would like to thank everyone who got him gifts for his wedding, especially Eric Bischoff who gave him an open contract to fight anyone at Unforgiven. He thanks, Eric but says Lita still has the best gift, a child. He says Lita probably misses Matt, but she got her a gift and brings out the Hardy family, and it's a bunch of guys in V1 shirts, Patt Hardy, Natt Hardy, Ratt Hardy & FATT HARDY!

Kane vs. The Hardy Boyz
Kane kills them all and pins Natt Hardy after a chokeslam

After the match; Lita says she has a surprise for him, says he's also her property, so she has a surprise for him. She signed his opponent for Unforgiven, and it's Shawn Michaels!

Ric Flair vs. Chris Benoit
The ref searches Flair and finds the Brass Knuckles in his knee pads This is the usual Benoit murdering the fuck out of Flair, to begin with, nasty chops, Flair weather the storm and targets the knee, it's a good time, with Benoit grabbing the knee but when he doesn't he's hobbling around the ring and doesn't even try to run on it. He misses the Diving Headbutt, but comes right back into the Triple Germans into the Sharpshooter, Batista runs down for the DQ just before Flair taps. Batista and Benoit brawl, but Flair takes out the knee from behind and Batista hits the Batista Bomb. **3/4

The Highlight Reel is set up in the ring, Jericho comes out and says asks if Edge got himself DQ'ed cause he knew he was gonna lose? or was it an accident? Jericho calls out Edge and challenges him to give him a rematch for the IC Title at Unforgiven. Edge comes out on crutches and says Jericho knew he tore his groin over the weekend and is unable to wrestle at Unforgiven. He says he doesn't need to get DQ'ed against him, as he already beat him at SummerSlam. Jericho brings up how his own hometown BOOOOOO'ed him out of the building and chanted for him. Edge says Jericho can keep winning the popularity contests, and he'll keep winning the matches. Jericho questions how badly he's hurt, and does he really need the crutches and asks if he turns his back would he hit him in the back? Edge says he doesn't, but he knows him and not this time. But, when he's all healed up, he's the first person he wants in the ring to settle this. They shake hands, and Edge leaves..........................................CHRISTIAN COMES THROUGH THE CROWD AND ATTACKS JERICHO FROM BEHIND! Edge watches on, as Christian throws Jericho into the ring post. He takes off his belt and begins whipping Jericho on the back yelling "DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO ME" Christian picks up one of the chairs from the set, and nails Jericho in the face with it, before leaving.

SMACKDOWN REBOUND!

Backstage: Eric is getting his foot iced, he then books Randy Orton vs. KANE for next week.

No Disqualification Match: Triple H vs. Eugene
I guess we're just supposed to forget the past 3 months build, cause Eugene comes out and doesn't even acknowledge Triple H, like he's taunting for the crowd and doing baseball shit instead of focusing on the man that FUCKED YOU UP AND HAS BEEN MAKING YOU LOOK EVEN MORE Blue FOR 3 MONTHS! FUCK OFF! Hunter attacks him from behind cause Eugene ain't shit, and they go right into Eugene out wrestling Triple H again. Triple H is great at being the sadistic brawler just taking his time enjoying himself at beating up a Blue adult, I love that with every blow he yells Orton at Eugene. LOOOOOOOOOOOOL The Eugene threat is like at 1%, he does his RETARDAMANIA comeback but Hunter blocks a stunner and locks in a sleeper. Eugene's hand drops twice, but Hunter drops the hold to hit the pedigree. He's not done, he grabs the Sledgehammer but Orton runs out for some reason now wearing his wrestling gear even though he got kicked out like 2 hours ago, and when he left he was wearing dress pants. Anyway, Orton grabs the hammer and they fight over it. And Orton nails him in the midsection with it and hits the RKO. He then drags Eugene and has him cover Triple H for the win. **1/4

 

[Lover Boy]

God that Eugene/HHH feud was horrible in hindsight.

 

[Deezy]

in hindsight? Brah I can tell you for a fact that my friends and I were hating Eugene when he debuted.

 

[Lover Boy]

in hindsight? Brah I can tell you for a fact that my friends and I were hating Eugene when he debuted.

Well I was relatively young at the time and most likely didn't realise how bad it actually was.

 

[Crippler]

As a kid I hated it, but I will admit it had its moments. Plus it gave me my favorite beatdown ever, but i will agree the payoffs were weak tho.

 

[Crippler]

Guyz, I'm really excited......A lot of the stuff coming from September-December is stuff I have never seen before or seen since it aired so this is all NEW AGAIN!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: Booker T
WWE Tag Team Champions: Billy Kidman & Paul London
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
September 2nd, 2004
Sacramento, California

Tonight: Eddie/Kurt - 2/3 Falls.

Booker T comes down to the ring, he says it seems everywhere he goes people come up to him and chant "CENA" he says see this, Booker down 1-0 and look what happen, he shows him getting the win in the best of series last week on SD. He then shows footage of him getting the W in match #3. So, it's 2-1, Booker. Booker says he's getting ready to wrap this up, and he knows how to close a series. UNLIKE SOME TEAMS AROUND HERE He says he has his own RAP "Names Booker T, I'm having some fun. I'm gonna beat John Cena 3-1. When you see me walking, your lips better pucker. SO YOU CAN KISS MY ASS! SUCKKKKAAAA" Rey Mysterio then comes out, he asks Booker if he has a match and asks if he wants a match, but then says he wants Spike in a title match. Booker makes fun of his hight, Rey comes back and gets the people to chant 619 looooool. Kenzo Suzuki comes out and says 619 is an American zip code, and Rey isn't American which makes him a LIAR! A LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE! He says he loves America and has a big smile like Tom Cruise, and RVD attacks him from behind but Rene joins in and all 6 brawl until the faces clean house. Theodore Long comes out and makes this a 6-man Tag Match, PLAYA!

Booker T, Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) vs. Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam & John Cena
Shockingly Rene and RVD have a great sequence to start like it's really fun even if half the strikes didn't really connect. The heels then work over RVD, but it's not really good, it's just 3 guys coming in and getting their shit off before the Rey hot tag, Rey does his usual stuff and it rules. Cena never tags into the match, and Booker is in for like 12 seconds the match breaks down with RVD doing all his shit and Rey hits the 619 followed by Legdrop for the win. Rushed. *3/4

Footage airs of Eddie winning at Mania XX.

Backstage: Teddy Long wants to talk to Heidenreich, but Heyman has him behind a locked door. Long fines Heidenreich $5000 for last week, but Heyman says the man doesn't have that kind of money on him, so Long says he'll just get it from Heyman then, and says with his reputation NO CHECKS! Straight cash and he tells Paul to get his man under control. Long walks off, and Heyman unlocks the door and walks off.

Cole and Tazz talk and show footage of Kidman knocking out Chavo last week with his SSP. They say Chavo was knocked out for 5 minutes, and show the EMT's and doctors checking up on him.

Backstage: Kidman and London are getting ready when Jamie comes in, he calls Kidman boy and says he doesn't see how Kidman can show his face around here after what he dun did to Chavo last week. Kidman says Chavo got hurt in the SSP "The most dangerous" move in wrestling and tells Jamie to leave. Noble says Chavo's career might be over because of him. Jamie leaves, and London says it's not his fault, but Kidman looks upset.

I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO BE COOL!

Billy Kidman & Paul London vs. The F.B.I
Decent showcase for the champs, Kidman has a solid hot tag, he cleans house but can't seem to do the SSP so he drops down and tags London and leaves. Nunzio hits a backslide and pins London. After the match; Heidenreich comes from the crowd and beats the shit out of London. He chases Michael Cole off, before Heyman calms him down. *3/4

Backstage: T.Long tells Brian Hebner to go tells Heyman to meet him in his office, Torrie Wilson comes into the office, she says she still has nightmares on what show almost did to her and is nervous about Show's return. Long says he understands but this Show is different, he says he's made Show attend "Anger management" classes. Torrie laughs it off so Long says everything will be okay.

John Bradshaw Layfield and Orlando Jordan come out. JBL joins commentary.

Orlando Jordan vs. Charlie Haas (w/Miss Jackie)
JBL says if Haas can beat OJ, he's #1 Contender because The Undertaker is done as a challenger. This happens, it's kept short, OJ dominates for the majority, Haas has a decent comeback, OJ sent Haas into the exposed steel buckle, and hit a Reverse Twist of Fate to win. After the match; JBL hits Haas with a clothesline from hell. *3/4

Smackdown tour of Australia.

The Dudley Boyz (w/Spike Dudley) vs. Harcore Holly & Billy Gunn
OVER MY FUCKING HEAD BODY!

Footage airs of Kurt Angle getting the win at SummerSlam.

Carlito! Caribbean Cool! COMING SOON!

RAW REBOUND!

Smackdown Throwback! June 12th, 2003. BROCK SUPERPLEXING SHOW! RING EXPLODING!

2-Out-Of-3 Falls Match: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guererro
So, I've never seen this before, I've known of it cause I've tried to download it a bunch as a teenage, god bless LimeWire and internet cafes. Again, they have their usual amazing mat/counter wrestling to start, I think they do it best. Eddie keeps getting the better, but Kurt keeps pulling the hair behind the refs back to break holds. Eddie says if that#s how he wants to play, he now begins pulling Kurt's singlet to piss him off. Kurt then pulls the straps down, so as Eddie goes for a sunset flip Eddie pulls the singlet down exposing Kurt's bare ass. Kurt leaves and almost gets counted out. They go again into some counter stuff but behind the refs back Kurt low blows Eddie, he claims it was an accident, so when Eddie recovers he low blows Kurt right in front of the ref. So the ref, DQ's him. 1-0, Kurt. Back from break, Kurt is in control hitting the usual suplex's and throws, he starts targetting the back, he hits the triple rolling Germans' He goes for the Angle Slam but Eddie floats over and rolls Kurt up for three. 1-1. Back from break again, Kurt is still working on the back, and we go right into the Eddie comeback but the match also turns into the counter finishes and reversals for reversals of reversals. After the 4th attempt, Kurt finally hits the Angle Slam but Eddie kicks out at the very last second. Eddie now hits the three amigos, but Luther runs out and distracts Eddie long enough for Kurt to recover and roll out of the way of the Frog Splash. Kurt hits a 2nd Angle Slam and locks in the Ankle Lock, even though he's worked on it 00:00 time of the match. Eddie rolls through and sends Kurt into the ref knocking him out, he then hits a plancha on Luther and grabs a chair. He hits Kurt in the ribs and the back, then does the same to Luther but drops the chair as he sees the ref coming too. Kurt grabs the chair and the refs sees it. Eddie recovers and taunts Eddie, but as Kurt is arguing with the ref Luther hits Eddie in the ankle with the chair and Kurt pounces on it applying the Ankle Lock with grapevining the legs, and Eddie taps. Kinda, weird they didn't play into the Ankle more like i know it was part of the finish but it wasn't even the focus of the match, and i'm surprised they didn't have the boot come into play as that was the main focus on the previous two matches. Oh well. ***

After the match; Luther attacks Eddie from behind as Kurt looks shocked looooooooooooooooolwat?

 

[Crippler]

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Edge
WWE World Tag Team Champions: La Resistance
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Monday Night RAW
September 6th, 2004
Wichita Falls, Texas

A steel cage is lowered with Eric Bischoff inside it, he makes Triple H vs. Eugene III inside the cage. He says if anyone in the back, even thinks of interfering before, during or after the match will be suspended. The cage is raised now and pulls off the sheet to reveal the Intercontinental Championship. He says due to injury, Edge is stripped of the title, Christian comes out and says Eric has a new disaster on his hands, and his peeps will be rioting on the streets if he doesn't hand it over to "CAPTAIN CHARISMA" HIMSELF, CHRISTIAN. Jericho comes out now, he says if Eric wants to do this right make Jericho vs. Christian for the title tonight. Eric likes it but just not the right here tonight. He books it for Unforgiven, Jericho says he had a feeling he would do that and says this match needs something special. He asks Eric to let the fans decide what type of match it will be. Eric accepts. Eric asks the fans if they want a cage match, they cheer but Christian says the last time he was in a cage with Jericho, Jericho put him out with a back injury for 4 months and he can't do that to his peeps again Christian then lobbies for a "no countout match" they BOOOOOOOO and Christian says they're not BOOOO'ing, they're BOOOOO'YEAHING! I've missed him so much. Jericho asks for a ladder match to the biggest pop, and the match is official. Jericho attacks Christian and puts the Walls on, but Tomko runs out to pull Christian to safety.

Tonight: 8-Man Tag Team Match

Ric Flair, Batista & La Resistance vs. World Elite (Tajiri, Chris Benoit, William Regal) & Rhyno
fuck yes, we go right into Benoit killing Flair, like Benoit giving even more 0 fucks about poor Flair's wellbeing with every passing match. A brawl breaks out with the faces clearing the ring, and winning the brawl on the floor as we go to break. When we return, Regal is now beating on Flair. Who then tags Rhyno in who gets his licks in, but Batista blind tags in and hits a monster spinebuster giving his team the control now. Sadly, this is mostly, La Resistance/Rhyno so it isn't good. Benoit has a great hot tag and cleans house, the match breaks down with the faces again cleaning house. The match ends with Benoit making Conway tap out to the Sharpshooter. **1/2

Recap of the Diss the Diva challenge

Tonight: KANE/Orton

SMACKDOWN REBOUND!

Backstage: Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton, Todd asks him about his match tonight, Orton says the 3 most dominate letters on RAW is H.H.H. He says Triple H is trying to make sure he's beaten up and too weak to be 100% for their match at Unforgiven. He says Hunter has a plan, but his plans haven't been working lately, when Triple H planned to be the one to win the belt from Benoit, or when Triple H planned on him handing the belt over, or when Triple H planned on bearing him up last week. Orton shows clips of what he did to him last week. He says Triple H is in the prime of a legendary career, but he's Randy Orton: Legend Killer and the tour makes one more stop in Portland at Unforgiven. And he will find out that the new 3 most dominate letters in the WWE are, R.K.O

Backstage: Trish bumps into Lita and mocks her for getting pregnant, and Lita says as soon as she has this kid, she's coming for Trish. Nidia then comes over and spits some hot fire in Spanish, but Trish calls it German Nidia then throws her drink in her face and leaves.

Trish Stratus vs. Nidia
WET TRISH! Solid Trish showcase, she wins with the Chick Kick after trying to expose Nidia's titty meat, but the ref covers it up.

Backstage: Uncle Eric and Triple H are talking, Hunter says tonight is the night, Eugene isn't walking out, he says this isn't about Eugene tonight it's about Randy Orton, Eric tells Hunter that he's got a big celebration for him after he ends Eugene, but he says this isn't a celebration night. he says Eugene is just a preview of what's to come. And when he wins the title on Sunday, then that can have a big party on RAW next week.

Steel Cage Match: Eugene vs. Triple H
At least Eugene is selling the cage, he doesn't want to get in and almost has to be forced/talked into it. Hunter comes out, he has his ribs taped up after last weeks assault, but he also has this awesome creepy sadistic grin on his face as he watches Eugene lose his shit. This starts off bad, with Eugene doing the cage animal nonsense and fights his way out, he gets the upper hand for a few minutes until Triple H drops him crotch first onto the top rope and begins ramming his face into the mesh. He slams him into one of the support beams busting him open. FUCK YEAH! Now it's just Triple H beating up a Blue adult for few minutes, he throws Eugene into the cage 6 times, rakes his head against the mesh and punches away at the cut before hitting the pedigree. He goes to leave the cage but closes the door instead. He holds Eugene up and drives his knee into the back of Eugene's arm coming off the top, breaking his arm and now leaves the cage for the win. After the match; Triple H slams the cage door on Eugene's arm BECAUSE HE IS FUCKING GOD! **1/2

Backstage: Coachman interviews Edge, Edge says it's funny how Eric Bischoff brings up the 30-day rule at his convenience, and he probably could have been ready to defend the belt in a few weeks but now we will never know. He says the worse part is he'd rather have lost the belt in the ring while injured than being stripped of it.

Backstage: Kane shows Lita the footage of him trying to kill Shawn Michaels 2 months ago as a reminder of what's in store for him at Unforgiven. He then orders her to come down to ringside with him tonight.

Unforgiven HYPE
KANE/Shawn Michaels
Benoit/Regal vs. Flair/Batista
Trish/Victoria
Christian/Jericho - LADDER MATCH/IC TITLE
Rhyno/Tajiri vs. La Resistance
Triple H/Randy Orton

Chris Jericho vs. Tyson Tomko (w/Christian)
It's pretty funny, how fast they dropped the Trish/Christian love angle, like as soon as Christian returns Tomko is no longer with Trish, and they don't even get mentioned together on commentary. BROS BE FOR HOES! This happens it's still not good, Tomko still isn't good, Christian leaves early but comes out with a ladder to distract Jericho who hits a swinging neckbreaker for the win. After the match; Christian uses the ladder and Tomko to beat Jericho down. **

Stacy is in the ring, she has the 25G's in the ring and brings out the ladies in classy dresses. She says the next competition is arm wrestling, with the winner dumping Texas chili on the losers. Amy vs. Christy is up first, Christy wins. Joy vs. Carmella vs. Joy is up next, Carmella wins. Chrisy vs. Carmella in the finals...........AND CHRISTY WINS! So she dumps the Chilli on the losers. Amy is eliminated

JR informs us Eugene has a separated shoulder.

Randy Orton vs. Kane (w/Lita)
Orton wearing his SSlam 2004 color attire This goes about 3 minutes, it's mainly Orton being the cocky babyface punking Kane and frustrating him. So, Kane grabs a chair but Orton low blows him for the DQ.

After the match; Triple H runs down and signals to lower the cage, and Eric comes out and makes this a cage match.

Steel Cage Match: Randy Orton vs. Kane
Triple H remains at ringside and watches on but Lita has gone to the back. This is fine, it's mostly Kane doing stuff and Orton bumping his ass off. Like he's going far and beyond to make all of Kane's stuff look legit. Kane's offense goes on way too long and he cuts off Orton at everything until Kane makes the mistake of trying to go up top but Orton dropkicks him into the cage mesh. LOL Kane drops early so he fucks up the backbreaker, Kane goes for a chokeslam but Orton grabs the chair and KILLS Kane with it, he then follows up with an RKO. He goes to escape out through the door but Huntetheretheir. But, Orton kicks the door into Triple H's face and slides out for the win. **

After the match; Flair and Batista run down and attack Orton, they beat him up some on the floor and roll him into the cage with Kane. They get in but Orton grabs the chair and nails Flair and Batista with it. Kane sits up but Orton sucessfully climbs out to safety.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield
WWE United States Champion: Booker T
WWE Tag Team Champions: Billy Kidman & Paul London
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley

WWE Smackdown
September 9th, 2004
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Backstage: GM Theodore Long says Luther involvement cost the fans knowing who is the better man in the Eddie/Kurt match, so he books Kurt vs. Eddie tonight in a Lumberjack match LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! So someone getting involved was the problem, so you add another 19 men on the floor

John Bradshaw Layfield (w/Orlando Jordan) vs. Charlie Haas (w/Miss Jackie)
Decent showing for both, Haas outwrestles JBL early and even tries to hurt him as he locks on the calf crusher and takes the whole 5 count once JBL gets to the ropes. Well, that pisses JBL off who botos him in the face to take over. It's not the usual brutal awesome JBL beating, cause Haas somehow has regressed tremendously since Shelton left him. He does have a nice comeback tho, he goes to put this away but on the floor OJ corners Miss Jackie against the ring post, but Haas puts a stop to that allowing JBL to hit the clothesline from hell for the win. **1/4

JBL says he's unbeatable, and thanks the people for the love they've given him.......in Oklahoma, he says for that he has a stock tip for them. Invest in JBL. It's a proven winner since he's been champion home ownership is at an all-time high, unemployment is low and since he's been champion the US Men and Woman has won more gold medals than any other country. He tries his weekly, JBL chant but it doesn't turn out well again. He talks about beating Taker at SummerSlam and says that's it, no more title matches but he will give him something he deserves. In 2 weeks he is giving the Undertaker a funeral right here on SMACKDOWN! He says he is giving the Undertaker free of charge his "Last Ride" JBL has a Cadillac hearse come out, but so does Theodore Long, Long says JBL is a whole lot of things, but the 1 thing he isn't is the GM. He says he decides who gets the title matches not him, so he books. JBL VS. THE UNDERTAKER FOR THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP IN A LAST RIDE MATCH! AKA Ambulance match, just with the ride being in a hearse.

I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO BE COOL!

WWE Tag Team Championships: Paul London & Billy Kidman vs. Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko & FiFi)
London has his shoulder/chest taped up after last weeks beating, this is okay, heels iso Kidman who doesn't suck so it's a win for him. The heels are fine, it's the typical throw guys together mix so it's meh. The faces clean house and Kidman can't pull the trigger on the SSP so he leaves, leaving it 2-1, that allows the heels to iso London and work the arm and Kenzo hits the claw / legsweep combo for the win. **1/4

Big Show is coming in 2 weeks

Backstage: London is being helped into the trainer's room but stops to talk to Kidman he pie faces Kidman and aks for answers, but Kidman says he's got nothing to say.

Backstage: Booker is about to leave, cause he needs to train for his match with Cena next week. But T.Long says Booker is in action tonight, he's one of the Lumberjacks.

Spike Dudley (w/The Dudley Boyz) vs. Rey Mysterio
This goes all of 2 minutes, it's all Rey until Bubba trips Rey up and crotches him into the ringpost. They surround him but Hardcore Holly and RVD make the save. UGH! Rudy Charles then makes this a 6 man tag, cause he has clout?

Spike, Bubba-Ray and D-Von Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio, Hardcore Holly & Rob Van Dam
Heels iso RVD, it's lazy and house showish, Hardcore and his hot tag, it hot shit. Mysterio pinned Spike with the springboard legdrop after Spike got hit with Holly's Alabama Slama.

Backstage: Josh Matthews in a neckbrace interviews Kurt Angle, he asks Kurt if he plans on using the same tactics this week that he did last week. Kurt says he beat Eddie in the 2/3 falls clean, he gets upset at the thought of being in a Lumberjack match and ends the interview.

Next Week: Match #4 in the best of 5 series Booker T [2] vs. John Cena [1]

John Cena comes out, he says if he loses one more match this series is done. So it's time to get serious, he says the only reason Booker is up cause he been cheating. And next week, Booker is getting his ass beat Thugganomic's style. He then calls Booker gay and makes some gay jokes about being behind. He says he's gonna kick his ass and the whole world will know. THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Recap of last weeks 2-out-of-3 falls match.

Carlito! Caribbean Cool! COMING SOON!

Backstage: Paul Heyman bumps into Theodore Long, Long wants to see Heidenreich. But Heyman says he's given him the night off, so T.Long says well it looks like Heyman has to take his place tonight in a match. A match against a TV Announcer, Heyman thinks it's Cole and starts talking shit, Taz then puts the battery in Cole back who starts shit talking of his own Cole says he can't beat anyone up in the back, but he can damn sure take Heyman out. Heyman comes out, but doesn't hear T.Long say it isn't Cole.

Paul Heyman comes down to the ring, he calls Cole into the ring but Funaki comes out and he goes right into beating the daylights out of Heyman But, Heidenreich is here. He hits a shitty rib breaker and Heyman covers and counts his own three. Heyman then comes over to Cole and pie faces him, but as soon as Cole fights back Heidenreich leaves the ring and COLE RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD AND TO THE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heidenreich yells Cole is gonna pay. IT'S HAPPENING SOON!

Smackdown Throwback! December 6th, 2001 - Vince joins the Rikishi Kiss his ASS CLUB!

RAW REBOUND!

Michael Cole is back

Booker, All 3 Dudleyz, Kenzo, Rene, Luther, Bashams, RVD, Haas, Rey, Holly, Cena, Akio, F.B.I, Scotty, and that piece of shit Shannon Moore are the Lumberjacks.

Lumberjack Match: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guererro
This is clearly the weakest match they've had so far, mainly because all Lumberjack matches suck and 2, for the most part, it's about the wrestlers on the floor and if they attack or not. They don't do their usual amazing mat wrestling and go right into brawling, Kurt gets thrown to the floor twice, but he gets thrown to the heel side so nothing happens. Pretty pointless spot, with Kurt being thrown out a 3rd time, but this time by the faces who immediately pick him up and throw him back in. Like why? He didn't even try to run or anything. Eddie now gets thrown out, and he attacks Luther cause FUCK LUTHER! Kurt begins working the ribs, it doesn't really go anywhere, this whole match feels like filler house show stuff. Eddie hits the three amigos, but Kurt grabs the ref allowing Luther to crotch the Eddie and the babyfaces do nothing? LIKE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AT RINGSIDE THEN IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA WATCH A GUY GET INVOLVED 3 TIMES! YOUR WHOLE PURPOSE IS TO STOP THE LUTHER INTERFERENCE Angle hits a belly-to-belly off the top, but only gets 2. Luther again gets involved, but NOW Cena has had enough, I guess 4th times the charm. Cena attacks Luther, but that brings Booker in as all hell breaks loose. And the match just ends. **1/4

Everyone is fighting, but FUCK SAKE! THE BIG SHOW IS HERE! He takes out everyone single-handedly to end the show, hey is this part of Show's anger management?

 

[Chris]

Show moving in slow motion taking out everyone was pretty fun to watch as a kid, especially since they kept saying he was coming in a couple weeks or something.

 

[Crippler]

Show moving in slow motion taking out everyone was pretty fun to watch as a kid, especially since they kept saying he was coming in a couple weeks or something.

And then you remembered it's the Big Show, and he just murked the whole thin roster even the best pro wrestler on the show further knocking him down the card into irrelevancy.

 

[Chris]

I honestly can't remember anything Big Show does from this point until he starts teaming with Kane.