UWF - Past Raw Trashtalking

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Chris Dresdon

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"NOW IT'S ABOUT TIME
I STEPPED IN WITH THE GANGSTA LEEEEAN."




"Gangsta Lean" by Jim Johnston begins to play over the PA system as the fans in attendance respond with a mixed reaction, some of them cheering and some of them booing, as the Global Champion himself comes rolling into the arena in his trademark low rider.

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The low rider bounces a few times before Eddie parks the car and then exits it and makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring, his Global Championship worn over his shoulder and a microphone in his hand as "Gangsta Lean" fades out to silence.



Eddie Guerrero: Well, well, look who decided to dust off his chopper and go for a ride. It was nice of Homicide to lend you his bandanna on his way out of the company this past week, holmes, I didn't know you two were tight like that. I guess that means Raw belongs to you now, right? Everyone knows that where Big Evil goes is his yard. Well if Starrcade is any indication of the fight you're willing to put up for that yard, then it shouldn't be hard for anyone that wants to lay claim to it to take it from you, people that actually consider this your yard, that is. If you want the right to call this your yard, you're going to have to take both away from me, and I don't think you possess the nerve to do either.

I hope you convinced yourself with all of that talk about Kane, because otherwise you wasted your breath. I'm not one of these weak willed, absent minded pendejos that allow themselves to be bullied into fearing you and believing that everything that comes out of your mouth is true just because you said it, that the world works according to the gospel of The Undertaker. You can try to distance yourself from it, but the truth of the matter is, while you claim that you don't care what happens to Kane or what has happened to Kane up to this point, baby brother is the exact reason you're here. Do you expect me to believe it's coincidence that as soon as Kane and I's rematch is made official, you come in here with a freshly signed contract? Keep dreaming, blanco, I know that you're here to defend him so that Paul Bearer doesn't have to. I know you're here to try and soften me up!

Eddie's voice has raised as he points at Undertaker in an accusatory fashion, visibly shaking from the anger he's feeling.


Do you think the things you've heard me say in the past are empty words that I strung together because I thought those were the best ones to make me sound intimidating? You think it's something I put on for fun? If that's what you believe, then sabes que, you better tell Michelle and the kids to turn the television off or watch something else on Tuesday, because if they don't, I promise you, they aren't going to like what they see. Because unlike the packed gloves and massive amounts of weaponry it would take for you to scratch the surface on dehabilitating me, all I need are these instruments of violence attached to my wrists, ese', all that...I need, is the opening bell, cabron! And when your brain is too swollen to send the signals to the rest of your body to pick itself up off the mat and the paramedics have to roll your dead weight onto a stretcher, we'll see how much stock that Big Evil owns in this yard. We'll see how much the locker room respects you then. Not only that, when Josh Mathews or whatever random guero with a microphone stops me after the fact to get my thoughts, we'll see how much remorse I show.

Eddie holds a cold gaze as he looks at the Undertaker, gradually lowering his microphone as Big Evil gets ready to respond.
 

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Kidd just simply shakes his head, not agreeing with anything Christian just said and he brings the microphone up to his mouth.

Tyson Kidd
"First things first, never cut me off again! Got that? I'm not sure if your minds playing tricks on you Christian or what, but last time that Captain Charisma and Tyson Kidd squared off, I came out victorious so go ahead, brag about how you beat Shawn clean, because you have never, and you will never beat me. So maybe then you'll realize that your ego is very over inflated. You never were the man Christian, and you never will be the man. You lack some of the main characteristics that it takes to be a Champion. You don't have that killer instinct, you won't do anything it takes. That's the main reason why I'm where I'm at today, and why you're below me. So you can continue on with your cute little petty insults about my wife, that seems to be what these idiot fans love. They'll cheer you, go ahead, verbally harass a woman, I think I know why you do it too, it's because even she is worth more than you to this company."


The crowd boos as Kidd wastes no time in lifting the microphone back up to his mouth to continue verbally tearing down Christian.

Tyson Kidd
"You want to disgrace my accomplishments and my legacy here in the UWF, asking what exactly I've done? You want to know what I've done? I've laid to rest every single man that they've put in front of me. Thus becoming the fastest rising star this company has ever seen. That's why my first title match here in the UWF was for the World Heavyweight Championship, something nobody else in this company can say. Where I'm at today is where men that have been here for years strive to reach. A place that you've worked your entire career to get, but you fail time after time. You're looking at a dynasty Christian. You can try to play it down all you like but you know damn well that I'm the man. The poster boy of this company and a man that you can never be. I know that eats you up inside, because you come out here expecting men to respect you because of the longevity you've had in this business and I would rather spit in your face before shaking your hand. I'm everything you hate, I'm everything these people hate and you wish, that you can be one tenth of the man I am because I can do whatever the hell I want and there's not a single person that can do a damn thing about it."


Kidd lowers the microphone and gets up in Christians face as Natalya takes the microphone out of Tyson Kidd's grasp. The crowd boos at Kidd's last comments as Natalya raises the microphone up to her mouth.

Natalya Neidhart
"Christian, your words don't hurt me because guess what. You're just like everyone else. Everyone always comes out here with so much to say. Everyone will come out here and have something to say about me, whether it's my figure or how I'm useless and guess what happens to everyone that does that? That just fires up Tyson even more and much like some of those men you mentioned that aren't here anymore after becoming World Champion. So many of the men that came out here and talked about me, Tyson Kidd retired. You need to realize, you're not stepping in the ring with me, so get your mind off me. You're taking on a man with the most pent up frustration in that locker room right now. I man that's pissed off and is just looking for someone to take it out on and you look like you're stepping up to be Tyson's whipping boy."


The crowd boos as Natalya passes the microphone back to Tyson Kidd and he immediately brings the microphone to speak again.

Tyson Kidd
"You can call me 'just another face in the crowd' but I'm the face of this company. I'm the guy that everyone talks about after the shows over with. I'm the reason that millions of people tune in every single week. I'm the next World Champion Christian, what are you? What have you done here in the UWF? You beat Shawn Michaels, congratulations, brag about that come February second when I have that World Heavyweight Championship around my waist. Then what? You beat a former World Champion, news flash, I've been doing that since day one. You're the one that's going to be forgotten Christian, you're going to be the one with no success at the Rumble. While I'm sitting in the back with Natalya polishing my brand new Championship, I'll make sure to watch you get thrown over the top rope to see all your hopes and dreams of one more match get crushed just like that."


Tyson Kidd is still in Christians face and he raises the microphone back up to his mouth once again while the crowd boos.

Tyson Kidd
"But on the bright side Christian, you get to live up to all the expectations that all these fans have for you. You've never been successful and I'm not about to let you start on my watch. I'm the rightful World Champion and when I get past you I'll take what's mine and then what Christian? What more can you say when I prove exactly what I've been saying since day 1? That I'm the best-"


Kidd is cut off again but Christian and he is furious as he didn't seem to be finished speaking. He shakes his head and lowers his microphone while the crowd cheers for Christian.
 

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New World Symphony plays throughout the arena, and it garners the opposite of what it would when first composed as boos rain down from the arena towards the stage as Sandow emerges through the curtain. Sandow holds out both his hands in the air and walks down the ramp as if the crowd were cheering his arrival, he walks up the ring steps and wipes his feet on the apron before stepping in. He is handed a microphone, holding it like a wine glass, and speaking out towards the audience.
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Damien Sandow:
Allow me to beg your indulgence for one moment, my name is Damien Sandow and I am your Uncrowned Worlds Heavyweight Champion. For while I am not considered a number one contender, The man who is considered such has only defeated unimportant pedestrians, hasn’t won a championship, and has already lost to Mr. Michaels. While I have been gradually adding numbers to my win column week in and week out, defeating the European champion as a whole by defeating both co-champions, besting the mindless bulldozer of a Samoan, and now on this weeks serial I shall forever dispel any and all doubts to my claims as for once a rational thought was pumped out from the people in charge as they have given me the opportunity to face our current champion. One Mr. Shawn Michaels


The crowd give the mention of the world champion a small pop, which makes Sandow flare a nostril in disgust to the reaction before continuing.

Now many of you might not remember this, considering your lack of ability to retain information, but my inaugural bout in UWF I defeated Mr. Michaels. Of course many might point that the Michaels of that time and today are basically two different people, that is however irrelevant for the result will remain the same. For no matter what he claims, this so-called “icon” is nothing more than a degenerate. He is a false idol who uses his ill-gotten status as a role model to pray upon the impressionable minds of the UWF audience and use their lack of clarity to retain his position atop a pedestal built from those he stepped on to make it to the top, the most despondent part of it all is that even he believes himself to be in the right. He believes himself to have found the way and encourages others to follow his false path, and as such he is one of the more dangerous false idols for the light reflected upon his smoke and mirrors is too bright to see through to the real parasite leeching the attention of the unwashed masses.

The audience boo, clearly in disagreement to Sandows rant

Please remain silent when I am speaking, Thank you.

The crowd only boos louder as Sandow moves on.

Not to mention who this man chooses to surround himself with, namely Ric Flair, otherwise known as the man who cost me my UWF Championship as the referee by claiming me eliminated without me being pinned or made to submit. However I am a man of principle, I am all forgiving and as such I would be remiss if I did not extend to Mr. Michaels my hand and intellect like I did to the other lost sheep heading to the slaughter of their own intellect. Therefore Mr. Michaels I offer you the opportunity to truly be saved, come out here and instead of pandering to the mindless masses do something right and unselfish for a change. Join my word, with your ill-gotten influence I can reach more people for if they see someone like you willingly be saved they too shall do the same, so Mr. Michaels do you accept me as your savior?

Sandow lets out a smile as he extends a hand out towards the stage, waiting for Michaels to come out and shake it.
 

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Undertaker: First of all Eddie what in the blue hell you talking about my effort at Starrcade? Boy didn't you cash in the sum of a bitch briefcase just to avoid facing me, or are you going to spin some dumb excuse that I wasn't worthy, to face you. Eddie you dare question my love for this yard... hell Eddie you wouldn't be able to stand here and gloat about you picking on my poor baby brother if I haven't built this damn place. This place is all great because of the time, and effort I put in making this yard. It is punks like you that tarnish what I have done, and that is why I am have come back here to Raw to once again make this yard into the respectable battle ground it once was.

You see Eddie its the type of disrespect saying you don't fear me that pisses me off. You think your some damn hot shot with that little wold title over your shoulder. You think that you're untouchable and that you know everything. First thing off boy you know nothing. I didn't come here to fight for my baby brother. No management thought they could get some news out of this to put on there website. That the brother of Kane is going to be fighting off against his opponent at the Royal Rumble. It is only natural they will disrespect me, and put me as the brother of Kane, and second off they know us two we have some un-finish business brewing over from the blue brand. So it would only make sense that that they would want me to beat the snot out of you before your big ole rematch.

Undertaker goes and he gets closer to Guerrero, and he looks at him as he begins to speak

Undertaker: You see Eddie Michelle, and my lovely daughters they won't have to turn off the TV. Hell they must be in the back right now laughing there buts off at the fact that you even fathom the idea of torturing me. Eddie I understand that your in a dark place right now, and that you like to think your some big man Though Eddie I have been surrounded by darkness my whole life. I know what it is like to feed into the darkness, and what it is like to be the dark passenger. Thing is though Eddie even with all that darkness that I have conjured no one in that damn locker room respects me, but once I defeat you comprandre' well let me just say the locker room will once again realize that this will always be my damn yard.

Fans this time cheer for Undertaker for standing up to Guerrero. Undertaker stands there awaiting a response from Eddie
 

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Kidd is cut off again but Christian and he is furious as he didn't seem to be finished speaking. He shakes his head and lowers his microphone while the crowd cheers for Christian.

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Christian: What? You're the best wrestler on RAW? Or are you going to take it a step further and claim you're "The Best in The World?" Well you have to forgive me if I don't believe you Tyson because I've heard that too many times before. But the difference is when I heard that from all of the countless others, at least they had a leg to stand on. But you Tyson, it's obvious that when you say you're the best, it's nothing but talk. You haven't earned the right to call yourself the best. That's an insult to guys like Daniel Bryan, guys like AJ Styles, guys like John Cena. I don't like some of those guys, but I can tell you with a straight face that they're all a hell of a lot better than you.

Kidd obviously shakes his head in disagreement with Christian. Captain Charisma takes a moment to himself and continues to speak.

Christian: You think I've disrespected your legacy? Listen to me Kidd, you haven't been here long enough to have a legacy. You haven't beaten anyone of importance to call yourself a great. Yes, you may have defeated me once upon a time, but the person that stands in front of you now is not the same person that you defeated back then. I've found al the things that I was missing the first time we squared off. I've found that aggression that I was missing, I found the desire that I was missing. But most importantly, I found that "killer instinct" that you claim I don't have. And now that I've managed to find all that again, this match is going to be a lot different than our last. This match is going to belong to Christian and after I've beaten you on RAW, your match at the Royal Rumble will be irrelevant.

Christian: And I say it's going to be irrelevant because after I win this match, it doesn't matter who the World Heavyweight Champion is after the Royal Rumble. I will have beaten both of you. And that means only one thing, that I'm next in line. That's right Tyson, after I beat you, I'm throwing my name in the ring. I'm going to get my One....More...Match and you're the only roadblock that's in my way. And you're a roadblock that I'll have no problem running through. So go ahead and win at the Royal Rumble and come February 3rd, I'll standing right there telling the entire world that I own a victory over the brand new World Heavyweight Champion. And while you're possibly winning the World Heavyweight Championship, I'll be preparing to win the Royal Rumble Match. So along with being the rightful Number One Contender, I'll also be guaranteed the Main Event of WrestleMania. The possibilities are endless Tyson, maybe I'll take the title from you or Michaels before WrestleMania or maybe I'll wait and let you count down the days until I prove to the entire world that Tyson Kidd and Shawn Michaels are far from great.


Christian momentarily turns his attention away from Tyson Kidd and looks towards his wife. Christian gently strokes Natalya's chin before addressing her.

Christian: Understand something princess, I want your husband fired up. I want him to step up and finally grow a pair so anyway I can motivate him is good for me. But let's make one thing perfectly clear, I'm not like everyone else. I'm Captain Charisma! Every arena I go to, my peeps are chanting my name.

Christian pauses and the live fans do indeed start chanting his name. This goes on for a good five seconds before Christian begins to speak again.

Christian: So I want your man to come at me with all of his pent up frustration and when it's all said and done, he'll be living even more frustrated after I've embarrassed him and showed the entire world that Tyson Kidd is punching well above his weight class.

Christian turns his attention back to Tyson Kidd and stares at the Number One Contender.

Christian: You want to talk about me having an over inflated ego Tyson. You're the biggest hypocrite I've ever seen. You won a few matches in a tournament and it's got you thinking that you're the "Uncrowned Heavyweight Champion of the World." That couldn't be any further from the truth. A Champion succeeds when the lights are on bright, and in the biggest match of your career, you failed. Not only that, but your first Championship will always be remembered as the day Tyson Kidd had the boss' backing and still couldn't get the job done. And now, you're in another big match. You have another opportunity to prove that Tyson Kidd is a big time player and just like the Royal Rumble, you're going to fail. Only this time, there won't be any controversy. Stephanie McMahon won't be there, Randy Orton won't be there. The Instant Classic is the only person that's going to be in this ring with you and he's going to prove to the world that the "Uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion" is in way over his head.

Christian: My peeps do indeed have a certain expectation for me Tyson. They expect me to have the best match every single night and they expect me to leave with my hand raised every single time I compete in this ring. And I'm not one to disappoint my peeps, which means I'm going to have to disappoint you and your wife. But of course, that's nothing new, she's used to being disappointed when it comes to you.

The crowd laughs as Christian takes a jab at Tyson Kidd's manhood. Captain Charisma allows Kidd to speak again.
 
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The crowd erupts as HBK comes out from the back along with, Ric Flair. HBK poses with the World Title as his pyro goes off



HBK and Flair head to the ring and slap hands with the fans in the front row along the way. As the two get to ringside, they walk up the steps and head inside the ring. HBK is taking his time as he is still bothered by that right leg. Flair hands HBK a microphone and gets read to speak



HBK: You know, I was in the back and listening to all this and I thought to myself, who are you again? No, I mean serious, I know you were in the championship battle royal when I won this title, but who really are you. Because I think you're mistaken that you defeated me. You and I have never faced off one on one before because believe you me boy, you wouldn't have picked up the win over, The Heart Break Kid. Now if I recall you were a champion on Smackdown. I mean being a champion is being a champion even if it's on a "B" rated show. Not to say all the talent on Smackdown are "B" rated, but that's where those go to get that you know extra push before they come to Raw where the big boys play.

HBK pauses for a second before speaking again

HBK: Now as you being my savior, mmmm I'll have to pass. You see the lord above, that's my savior. You come out here and talk all this nonsense that now one understands. Now understand me when I say this, I like putting people over, I really do. For YEARS, I was the guy to help the younger generation out until it came to this one. Guys like you, my opponent at the Royal Rumble, Tyson Kidd, Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, and the list goes on. But I don't do that anymore. I will come out here and put them over, but that doesn't mean I am going to take the backseat and let them beat me. No I am the World Heavyweight Champion and I plan on staying champion for a long time unlike how you couldn't handle that task.

Sandow is not amused by, HBK

HBK: Getting back on track, you see, my best friend, Hunter, who is also known by you probably as, Triple H. Well, Triple H, so many times buried talent. And I mean at times he was in the right and at times he wasn't. But tonight I'm feeling a bit edgy and I am going to take a page out of my friend, Hunter and bury you. Now the dirtiest player in the game is right besides me so let see if I make him proud. Why would some bathrobe wearing sideshow be worthy enough to wear this championship. The way I look at it, Damien, all you are at the end of the day is just another version of a man who is well past your time, The Genius. The Genius was nothing more than someone that helped the higher up top dogs in the business look even better. Just ask, Hulk Hogan, who buried him over and over again on Saturday Night's Main Event.

The crowd chants a small "Hogan" chant in his reference

HBK: So at the end of the day that is all you will ever be here on out as long as I am around, a bathroom wearing wannabe Genius. And now I am going to another one here. If you're not down with that then, Ric, myself, and the UWF Universe have got two special words for ya.....

The crowd chants "SUCK IT" out loud. HBK lowers his microphone and has a smirk on his face
 

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Eddie relaxes a bit as he raises his microphone to respond to his opponent.

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Eddie Guerrero: And why exactly would I spin an excuse? What exact reason would I have for doing such a thing? Now these fans are stupid, but even they're smart enough to know that the way you're painting the situation isn't how it actually went down, you're just trying to save face because how oh how is Big Evil going to be taken seriously if even one member of the audience or locker room thinks he's a spineless, gutless, and juevoless puto? Out of the two of us, you were the one that was hiding and ducking, holmes. I came out to this ring and called you out, I told you exactly how things were going to go at Starrcade and that I was going to take your United States Championship from you. You had ample opportunity and time to respond to me, and you never did. So tell me, how was I avoiding you in that situation?

Eddie holds his microphone out and up to Undertaker's mouth, as though he were giving him a chance to answer. He pulls the microphone away after a moment and continues, his intensity gradually returning as he speaks.

I'm not going to tell you that you were unworthy to face me, because you've already figured it out. And you know you were unworthy, because if you didn't feel that way, you would've shown up and put forth some effort. You would've done everything in your power to make me eat my words and regret coming after that belt. If I wanted to avoid you, I'd avoid you, but as you can plainly see, I'm ready for a fight and I'm ready for a fight with you, vato. I'm ready to put down the animal that thinks he's the biggest dog in the park, I'm ready to make him bleed on every inch of the yard he calls his, and I'm ready, to bring down the walls of this institution he claims he built right on top of him.

Eddie smirks as a noticeable twitch can be seen under his left eye.


Saying you're responsible for paving the way for me is laughable, by the way. I'm wrestling royalty, cabron, I would've made my way whether there were locker room leaders like The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels or not. You shouldn't get too caught up in that mindset either or else you'll forget where you came from, ignore the fact that there were people that paved the way for you, and start sounding like all the young punks you're determined to beat respect out of, and quite frankly, guero, you've already got hypocrite written all over your face!


Eddie pauses for a moment, looking down as his face twitches again, then he smiles as he looks up but once he's looking at Undertaker again, the smile disappears as the eerily calm and morbid tone resurfaces as he says his closing thoughts.


You get disrespected because you don't deserve respect. You aren't feared because there's nothing about you to fear. You look like the guy from Poison, ese', people look at you and start hearing the words to, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", they don't cower or run. If you want to be respected again, holmes, if you want to be feared, then do something worth being respected and feared for!


Eddie lowers his microphone as he and The Undertaker are staring a hole through one another.
 

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Sandow looks around the arena, the rustle of the crowd after Michaels appearance still fresh, he raises his microphone.

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Damien Sandow:

SILENCE!

The crowd only seems to get louder with their boos towards the outburst as Sandow turns back towards his opponent.


That is precisely my point Mr. Michaels, no one understand what I'm saying and it is because of that fact that I am here. I could be in the Sandow Family compound in Palo-Alto, California enjoying what society at large has traded in for nonsensical acronyms in a hundred and forty characters or less, a novel to stimulate my already enlightened mind. But I, unlike the rest of the world, have chosen to shine my beacon light of enlightenment throughout the harbor of inequity. The fact that you're sophomoric gesturing, and leading this impressionable audience to saying vulgar obscenities is cheered while my benevolent goal to teach the children and adults in the audience alike and help them better their own lives as well as society at large is frowned upon is simply a testament to how far down the doldrums of ignorance these poor innocent people have fallen down.

The crowd show their disagreement of that statement immediately afterwards, Sandow turns his head slightly and calmly states

Thank you, for your irrelevant opinions.

The audience jeer loudly, the small disagreeing boo turning to a chorus of hate towards Sandow who turns back to Michaels as if nothing has happened.

I've always found your like the most disheartening. for when you choose your path towards salvation they simply take it as a statement. He is my savior, and that is the end of it, you don't better yourself you simply fall in line with the rest of those following blind faith, those who believe one day a week and following 10 rules shall automatically make them better than everyone else. I have no issue with it in particular, my issue is that aside from knowing scriptures and hymns You do not try to better the world in a universal front. You simply attempt to convert and once converted, that is it, I convert and from there begins a long journey to enlightenment. A man is drowning, you would throw him a life saver and drag him to shore, go to your friends and brag about saving someone. I would save that person, and then teach them how to swim so that they would have the knowledge to avoid that situation in the future. While you attempt to see the world through the same eyes as others I save that world from not being able to comprehend it.

Sandow adjust his robe, getting his full composure back compared to when he first began speaking again.

I've been compared to many, the difference being that the self-proclaimed Genius simply wrote poems, even your best friend was once known as a blue-blood, he simply posed. I am not here to show how intellectually superior I am, for showing an obvious fact is simply a waste of my precious time. I am not here to pose, for to gloat is simply an arrogant celebration and in my mission there is no time for celebration like commoners such as yourself as I have much more work to be done. I am here to Save you, and the rest of UWF from it's self imposed ignorance, whether you join me willingly or whether you act like children crying when it is bath time, either way your minds will be washed of the filth protruding from it. So Mr. Michaels, at the end of the day I will have only two words for...Ahem, forgive me tongue for using this slang borderline colloquial term..."ya"

Sandow pauses as if he's about to throw up but takes a deep breath and finishes off.

You're Welcome.
 
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HBK: Ignorance? Are you actually out here to accuse me of ignorance? Natch, are you listening to this? Ignorance you say? I invented what ignorance is all about in professional wrestling. I was the brash cocky guy who super kicked his tag team partner, Mart Jennetty and threw him through a glass window. I was the guy who super kicked, Diesel. Hell I was the guy who put, Bret in the sharp shooter. So don't talk to me about saving me from my ignorance. I have a long history of it and I am in no shape looking to be saved by anyone for being ignorant especially not from someone in your nature. I am who I am and I like myself this way. If I want to be cocky than damn it, I will be cocky. If I want to say I am better than you, I have earned that right. If I don't like the way something is going, then I am not afraid to speak up even if I get fired for doing so.

HBK laughs as the crowd gives him a nice applause since he's been fired a few times back in the day

HBK: Hey, I am no saint and I have my faults. But let me tell you, if being ignorant is a crime, then I need to pack my things and walk on out of here and forget all about this. I can be home right now in San Antonio and out hunting. So in other words if me being ignorant helps me through the rest of my career, then I will be just fine with that. I think that you should be worried about saving yourself come this Monday on Raw. That's the saving you should be concerned about seeing as you'll be facing the World Heavyweight Champion. I mean you speak in this other language that has these fans with crooked looks on their faces wondering what it is that you're trying to say. I mean look at, Ric. He's puzzled by the words coming out of your mouth and he's not puzzled by the sheer brilliance in words you use, but rather the ignorance in trying to think because you use big words that you are some brilliant master person of the world.

Sandow goes to speak, but HBK cuts him off

HBK: SILENCE!

The crowd laughs as HBK has a smirk going on

HBK: You see, all this brash crap that you utter just doesn't connect with any of us. And I am just a small taste of what someone like my friend, Hunter would say to you. Or even that rattle snake, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Even, John Cena himself would have fun with you out here. Me, I am just giving you a taste of the rash backlash from your unique word phrases that you tend to use often out here. Or maybe it is just a cover up of the fact that you really can't make yourself look good that you have to use such big word phrases. Your afraid to speak in a normal tone of voice like, Kofi Kingston tried to because you know if you do, you'll be caught and never be able to go back to the fake sound you once used. On Raw I will help you out though. I will help you out after I deliver such a fierce super kick to you that it knocks in some logic sense into you that brings back down to what reality looks like and the reality is, Shawn Michaels being the World Heavyweight Champion!

The crowd cheers as HBK lowers his microphone

HBK: And you're welcome!
 

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Bray Wyatt: For centuries... for millenia they've fed you lies!. They've told you that there is only one true divine entity. They told you to sing his praises. They penned you into these false houses and told you that everything was gonna be alright. They told you that you were safe when all along I knew you weren't. All that, all of those tales they told you... LIES!, little more than fairy tales of a man who never was but ya wanna know somethin'?, I don't blame 'em, man. I don't blame them for making up false deities, people always have man. Odin, Ra, Krishna, Zeus... all incarnations of the same thing and that is the belief that everything works out. Everything is all right and all along the one true hope stands in front of them, over all the years, watching them, listening to there words, standing arms spread welcoming them into the family with love and nourishment. That one constant, that one reality in the face of false deities is me. Bray Wyatt.


Wyatt stops his pacing and looks straight ahead at the camera.

And yet to pass on the love, to pass on the nourishing embrace that I offer... I have to first dispel the demons from all those who oppose me. This week, it just so happens that those men who stand against me are Christopher Daniels and Drew McIntyre. I hold no qualms against these men, they serve only to fall before 'The Eater of Worlds' Bray Wyatt. And man, I hope they understand, I hope they do. I hope they understand why I do what I do to them, when I take them and take the demons from inside them and expel them and put into him the good words of Bray Wyatt. When I give them the love they've always wanted. Christopher Daniels may call himself 'The Fallen Angel' but I am 'The Angel in The Dirt', I've been watching over everyone longer than you could possibly even fathom. But my mission continues to change this world, to change this world to one in my image and to do so I have to burn everything down to the ground and it continues this week. The end continues this week.

The camera zooms on Wyatt.

And if you wanna live, if you wanna join the circle that dances as one in the flames at the end of times. Well then you just gotta... follow the buzzards...
 

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New World Symphony plays throughout the arena, and Damien Sandow emerges with a smile and his arms spread wide presenting himself to the ring. The crowd only boo him louder as he begins to make his way down the ramp and raises his microphone.

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Damien Sandow:


Allow me to beg your indulgence for one moment, My name is Damien Sandow and I am here to help all of you. This past week on the Raw Serial I proved that I have the combination to the lock Mr. Michaels has on his Worlds heavyweight Championship, I outsmarted, I outwrestled, and I outmaneuvered him in every turn. I countered his infamous series of moves, a series of moves that has garnered him victories over the top names in our business. And even with his greatest and final shot, the Sweet Chin Music, I remained conscious enough to roll out of the ring and should the match had continued I would have emerged victorious if not for interference. I, Damien Sandow, have shown I can best our champion and not only that but I have once again retained my Streak. For since appearing on the Raw Brand, I have yet to be pinned or made to submit, with all of these facts put on the table I am here first for my Raw Representatives to make a declaration.


Sandow walks up to the apron, wipes his feet and steps into the ring.


I, Damien Sandow, Officially name myself chieftain of this team. The Team Captain of Raw, leading you into battle with strategy and unbending will. I believe my credentials speak for themselves as I have lead many a team to victory from Tag Team Championship, Six man tags, to Survivor Series bouts. Now I do realize that Dean Ambrose and Christian are not fans of mine, I am not fans of theirs either, but this is about more than simple bickering. This is about earning a victory for our brand, and while yes the idea of claiming one differently colored apple better than the other is rather irrelevant, it still holds merit to prove ones superiority. And if not for the brand, then simply to earn a victory before the Royal Rumble Bout. All needed of you two is to simply follow my lead, and I shall hand you victory.

Sandow turns to the stage


Which should not be too difficult to acquire considering the abhorrent representation coming from my former brand, AJ Styles who currently is in possession of the atrocious and despondent championship known as the..."Hardcore" Title. Steve Borden, an icon! an Icon for the imbecilic, detestable, and inept. And Last and most certainly least, Shark Boy...a man whose mental decline I cannot even fathom, and no I am not referring to a unit of length often used in reference of depth of water but it's other definition being to not understand after much thought. These three so-called representatives shall be made an example of before the Royal Rumble, and once I have lead my team to victory I shall head to the Royal Rumble and earn my opportunity at the Worlds Heavyweight Championship...and continue my Wrestlemania Streak just as I will my Raw Streak...So in conclusion: to my Teammates, who get to ride along my steadfast ship through the sea of inequity if only for one night, I simply say...You're Welcome.
 

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SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA DELTA SHIELD


The music of Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns begins blasting throughout the PA system and the crowd get to their feet not quite sure what the hell to expect. Rollins comes out of the crowd and immediately hops onto the apron. The spotlight immediately goes to get off Seth Rollins as it moves to where Roman Reigns is as he slides into the ring. Reigns is given a microphone.

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Roman Reigns:

Unstoppable. Just the one word to describe Seth Rollins and myself. First it was Finlay and Wade Barrett, then it became LAX who are no longer to be seen. Do you people see the pattern? People quit because they are afraid of us, they don't believe in us and it's quite a shame seeing we've caused a path of destruction. Last week, we didn't compete but that didn't stop us from coming out to make a statement but Dean Ambrose constantly tries to take us out; but week after week we are here standing! What Dean Ambrose is failing to understand that he is one of us. He knows it deep inside that he belongs with us but Dean has his head stuck deep in the sand that he doesn't have a clue where he is. But I can guarantee you that Dean will rightfully find his answer soon enough, he will soon believe in what's right and that is believing in The Shield. This week, we finally get our treasure we've been seeking for. Since our comeback, we've been eying the one thing and that is the Tag Team Championships. Whether it's in the Dudleyz territory of Tables Match or it's a steel cage or whatever you want to throw at us, we're not afraid. We will go through hell and walk out without a scratch to get what we're after. These two washed-up has-beens only won the damn Tag Team Championship from a man who didn't want to be around anymore, the guy quit after he was duct taped in WWE and he didn't want to put himself in a match against you both. This time around, you've got real competition. You have a competition you've never met before, a competition so farce that you will not be able to handle. While this is your specialty match, it just simply won't be enough to take us both down. Now the both of us are not in the Royal Rumble, that's quite an injustice but we're looking to take your straps and beat the living hell out of that ugly mug Ethan Carter III and Fandango. Those two pretty boys think they've got it all, but when they meet their match. They will stand no chance just like the both of you mugs. Tell 'em Seth!

Roman gives the microphone to Seth Rollins.


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Seth Rollins:

Bubba Ray and Reverend D'Von. Team 3D. A team that everyone looked up to as a child, watching them perform in their famous ladders, tables and chairs match from time to time. Everyone now knows your specialty, but those days are outnumbered. Those days of glory are soon to come crashing down into broken dreams. Now let me start with Reverend D'Von, we're not believers of anything else but ourselves so before you come out and try preach about God... We simply don't care what God has to offer because we don't require God by our side, we only require ourselves knowing what infliction we will cause upon you both. Now D'Von, you've got some stuff that is messed up inside your head now I know how that feels. I really do, I associated myself with a few people that allowed me to go through the darkest of the darkest and while those thoughts and creativity in your mind are great sometimes. The only dark side I live in now, is wanting to inflict pain on everyone. I see myself as a future superstar, having held the International now UWF Champion is an achievement but it simply isn't enough. Even being at the top, I still have plenty to prove, I still have to prove more and this is why this week... I will prove to you that you won't require God any more, I will prove to you I am stronger than God. As for Bubba Ray, Bully Ray, ah let's just call him Ray. Now Ray, you used to be such a bully... you were intimidating but then you went soft and associated yourself with this bible-bashing loser. You know deep inside you can carry on your own and you don't need D'Von but you always find yourself falling flat and going back to him, but why? Just so you could easily win this Tag Championship? But what you're not knowing is Roman and I are prepared to go through your territory and then what we're going to do is change your yard into ours. We're taking over and there's not a damn thing you can do about it, you will BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!
 

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I am a real Americannnnnnnnnnnn.



Real American hits the speakers as fans rise to their feet to welcome down their reigning Transatlantic Champion. The Hulkster is not far behind the raving and cheering as he pokes his head through the curtain followed by his full torso. He takes position on the center of the stage as he strikes a couple of his signature poses. The titantron behind him shows an American flag which brings in a pop from the audience, but a handful of fans are booing instead. Hogan smirks and shakes his head before walking down the ramp. Hogan highfives the little kids that lean over the railing as he gets to the steel steps. Once there, he walks up them and enters the ring where he is handed a mic from ringside. He looks to begin speaking but as he opens his mouth he is met with a mixture of cheers and boos. Hogan lifts an eyebrow a la Rock, and gives off one final smirk before continuing.

Hulk Hogan: "Now I know that a lot of you are disappointed with my match two weeks ago with Bubba Ray, and some of you hate that I gave off some sort of 'I don't want this title' impression last week in my interview. With that being said dudes, I'm here to tell you all that I'm here to erase all of that. Hulk Hogan isn't out here to let three other men walk all over him. Hulk Hogan is here to walk over three men brother."

The crowd cheers in agreement as Hogan smiles.

Hulk Hogan: "That's what I'm talking about man. After my little rant I had backstage last week, I went out for a walk and I had legends of this sport - people before I even stepped foot into a ring - come up to me and talk to me. They cooled my head, they cooled my temper and they set The Immortal One straight. I'm here to defend this gold in the same manner that I won it dude, and that's in a fatal four way. No one that is about to walk down that ramp has what it takes to stand in a ring with me, and that isn't because I have a huge fan base backing me up brother. The fact of the matter is that none of these men have officially broken away from each other to be named number one contender! I've accepted the fact that I have to face these men, but they know as much as I know - they just don't deserve it. Sheamus had his shot and he missed. Test? The only thing Test that he miraculously passed was the drug test backstage haha. Finally we have Drew McIntyre. Who the hell is Drew McIntyre brother?"

The fans chuckle as Hogan gets down to serious business.

Hulk Hogan: "In all seriousness dudes, I'm looking for one hell of a match. I need something that gives me that extra push brother. I don't feel like I've been representing this title like I should - too many days off, one too many losses. This belt represents the people who tune in night in and night out and they need a superstar that can stand here and be broadcasted around the world man. I haven't been the best at that as of late but don't worry, because tonight is another stepping stone. I've been watched over all my life and career, and people know me all too well. But tonight, that comes to an end as I mix it up in this squared circle. It's time to get down and dirty and time to bring home the gold yet again. These three men don't know that a new age of Hulk Hogan is here brother, and it begins tonight. So whoever wants to step toe to toe with the Hulkster - come right on down dudes. It's time."

Hogan steps into the corner as he awaits the first of his three opponents.
 
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Sam

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THE FOLLOWING IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE C.U.N.T.



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Everything becomes tinted in a blue hue as 'Stranglehold' by ultra-'Merican Ted Nugent begins to play over the PA system and the crowd begin to go wild. It's not long before all three members of C.U.N.T. appear before the crowd, Shark Boy leading the way. Grado is doing some great air-guitaring on the stage, Paul Burchill is seen swinging down from the side of the stage onto the ramp to join his partners in crime. All three men now make their ways down to the ring, Paul Burchill raises his sword into the air and points towards the ring as the three men now enter the ring. Shark Boy heads straight to the top rope where he throws his middle fingers high in the air for the world to see. Burchill is on the adjacent corner looking out into the crowd as Grado leans on the ropes between them making the crowd react with glee. They do this to the opposite side of the ring, giving the entire crowd a glimpse at their new heroes. All three men then take their places in the centre of the ring as Shark Boy grabs a microphone, the blue hue on screen quickly goes away back to normal vision.

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Shark Boy: Damien Sandow the way I'm lookin' at it, there's three of us and one of you, so you best shut yer damn mouth before we get to steppin'. First things first, this week on Raw Shark Boy ain't gettin' to team with his boys Paul Burchill and Grado, nah, Shark Boy has to deal with the fact that he's gon' be teamin' up with AJ Styles that sumbitch Steve Borden. Now Shark Boy ain't got no problem with teamin' up with AJ Styles, we go back, we're cool, what Shark Boy does have a problem with is dealin' with Sting havin' a mid-life crisis. Well Sting, Steve, whatever ya wanna call yerself this week, I'm lettin' ya know ahead of time that my boys Burchill and Grado will be at ringside and if you so much as think about turnin' yer back on Team Smackdown we're gon' turn ya back around and beat seven shades a piss outta ya. And that's just about all Shark Boy has to say 'bout that sumbitch Steve Borden!

The crowd cheer on Shark Boy as he now turns his attention to Damien Sandow in the ring.

Now Sandow, I see a lot of similarities between you and Steve Borden. I mean obviously, both former World Champion, but more to do with the fact that yer both massive pains in the bass!. Yer both borin', ya both speak to these fans like they're beneath ya and ya both seem to think yer somethin' special. Well let me tell ya right now ya meely mouthed bastard, ya wanna talk about mental decline and make it out as if Shark Boy's some sorta dumbass?, well that's all fine and dandy 'cos this week on Tuesday Night Raw, when Smackdown invades, more importantly when C.U.N.T. invades?, I'm gonna beat you down so badly you won't be able to make words no more and then we'll see who the damn dumbass is between me and you. That's right Sandow, if ya gonna go piss Shark Boy off, yer gonna go get yer bass whipped, it's simple science, so simple even a stupid sumbitch like Shark Boy can understand. Piss off Shark Boy plus can of bass whip equals Damien Sandow eatin' his words and sportin' a black eye!

The crowd, impressed with Shark Boy's equation clearly, go mad for Smackdown's resident Shark.

Now as far as yer tag team partners this week on Raw are concerned?, I hope they bring it, I really do because I wanna prove to them before the Royal Rumble that Shark Boy ain't no laughin' matter. Matter of fact, I wanna show them quite plainly that Shark Boy's a bass whippin' machine, and it don't matter if yer on Raw or Smackdown, because if ya ain't with The C.U.N.T. ya ain't with Shark Boy!. So let that be a message to everybody in the match, friend, or not. Ya ain't with Shark Boy, this night is just temporary and if I stun yer bass after the fact... which I may or may not... well then it ain't personal, it's just business, C.U.N.T. business and THAT'S THE FISHIN' LIIIINE 'COS SHARK BOY SAID SO!

 

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5....4....3....2....1....



"The Final Countdown" by Europe begins to play over the PA system as the crowd goes crazy. After a few bars of music, the self-proclaimed "True European Champion" Daniel Bryan emerges, holding the European Championship high into the air, leading the fans in a chorus of "YES!" chants.

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Bryan then makes his way down the ramp as the crowd continues to chant. As he reaches the ring, he grabs a microphone from the top of the steel steps and slides into the ring. He then paces around the ring, waiting for the crowd to allow him to speak. After a few moments, Bryan breaks through and speaks.

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Daniel Bryan: The time has finally come. It's time for Christopher Daniels to finally face the music. For weeks now, he's been clutching onto this idea that he's a "Co-Champion" with me but this week, on RAW, we settle it once and for all. 2 weeks ago, I amused you and I took place in that ridiculous "Gentleman's Club" and now, you get to step into my domain. You know, I told you, before Starrcade when we stepped into the ring with John Cena for this championship, I said you better bring everything you have and prove that you're ready to go to that next level. What did you do? Did you take my advice? No, in fact, you did the opposite. Ever since Starrcade, you haven't brought anything. In fact, you've reverted back to your old ways. The same ways that got your ass beat by MVP on a regular basis over on SmackDown. You have no claim to this championship and I've proven that time after time again. I proved it in your "Gentlemen's Club" when I humiliated you and threw you over the top rope and you proved it yourself when you gave that half-assed performance last week in the triple threat. It's actually embarrassing to step into the ring with you. This match is basically a formality because we all know what the outcome will be.

The crowd continues to cheer Bryan and a "BRYAN! BRYAN! BRYAN!" chant breaks out.

Daniel Bryan: So, how about we cut to the chase here and you get your ass down to this ring and you step into the ring with the True European Champion and the future winner of the Royal Rumble. Yes? No? Whatever.

Bryan then looks towards the stage and dares Daniels to come out.
 
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