UWF 2014 Royal Rumble Trashtalking

[Slim]

heh we finally got a hip hop theme for a PPV... and I do think it fits really well

 

[rawisrey]

You think this is your realm? Heh...hehe...hahah

Cody starts to laugh out into his microphone, cackling into it as he doubles over attempting to keep his composure but failing until he finally manages to squeak words by.

Oh Brother, Where have you BEEN? You think I've just dove into this place without checking the depth...Oh I took over this place a Looong time ago, before Dad ever showed up hell before you ever showed up in UWF at all I was showing the world my new perspective on it. I shone a mirror out to them and showed them the hideousness staring back just like what I saw when I looked into it and my...my Face was covered.

Cody takes a step forward, closer to his brother.

You...YOU!..you think you've got something on me? I've stood in front of War Machines, Borderline Psychos, MONSTERS from an abyss and I revealed them for the paper machete, Hollywood monsters they truly were. And now... Well Now I see exactly why you're here...you don't get it...Goldust doesn't Understand...He was the strange one. He was the one people talked about, the one who did crazy things, the innovator of mind games, but then things changed. People started calling him Dustin, he was treated like Mick Foley after retiring the mask, just a relic who had some good ideas of what crazy looked like but all of a sudden people weren't talking about Dustin...They were talking about Cody. Cody took out 6 people in one night, Cody was the man behind months of speculation and mystery of things happening around the show, Cody was the man not saying you'd never forget his name but the one saying that he would bring UWF itself down into ashes. And it struck a cord, how could Baby brother be revered as doing the ONLY thing Goldy was good at, better than him?

Cody tilts his head to one side.

You asked me to look at you...do you know what I see? I don't see two halves of the same coin, I just see a coin with no value. You went dark Goldy, and sure maybe at one time you were considered scary to some degree...but the truth is you're just a baseball player who took steroids. You had your demons Goldy, and without them you were just the Son of the Son of the Plumber, The "Natural". But what I see in front of me, is the same Goldust I've seen so many times, everyone watching go on the internet and look up Goldust pictures or even look at him as he stands in front of me today... take a good hard look at him and you'll notice something. The Body suit, the face-paint, the wigs, the robes, they all change...but look beneath the paint...a vacant expression. You change your paint because you know if you keep flashing different lights out perhaps people won't notice that underneath Dustin Rhodes is just a scared little boy trying not to break down. You can't smile when you come into this side of you, but Look at me Goldy, I've never been happier, because when the pale horse bucked I tamed him and rode him throughout UWF...I thrive in this world and you just remain in you humorless air...I'd like to say that someday I would replace, that big frown on your face, with a Smile and a murderous glare...but I don't see it in you. That is you're problem Goldy and your ultimate demise...You're false sense of...Control...I don't claim such things oh no no...I just enjoy the ride. Hopefully you'll enjoy the one you'll be taking because of it.​

 

[Chris Dresdon]

Steve smirks as he raises his microphone to his mouth, shaking his head in disappointment as he looks at Christian.

The collective lack of creativity that's flowing forth from the mouths of all of you would be more surprising if I didn't already expect so little from you. The way each of you worded it was unique to yourselves, admittedly, but the central theme was the same, you think I'm boring. Well if you do happen to nod off, lay down first, I wouldn't want you to get a concussion from this. There's a reason people don't use the flying headbutt anymore, you know? Anyhoo, I'll leave the joking to you. By the way, just so you know, what I said about Chris Sabin and Shelton Benjamin wasn't a joke. Google, "Thuggin' Love". They only had like two matches here in UWF, but those are memories those two will cherish forever.

Steve now turns his attention towards the stage.

Was that a Bible you were holding or a book of quotes from other wrestlers, because the Steve Boredom thing is far from original, D'Von. Now that I know how far under your skin I am and how bothered you are by my participation in this match, I'm even more excited to get my hands on you, and when I do, take solace in this truth. You won't have to worry about taking yourself out of the match, I'm going to do that for you. That's the only positive about you still being stuck in your ways is that I get to enjoy beating you up as much as I did the first time, if not more. You're a step down from Kanye West and Yeezianity in terms of self-centered religions go, I've told you before that your crusade is dishonest and the words you say are lies.

You're a man offering salvation that needs salvation of his own, you need your eyes opened by the truth and your life transformed. What you seek isn't enlightenment from Damien Sandow, and it isn't your own system of checks and balances where you baptize people by putting them through tables. What you're looking for is what I experience in my daily life, freedom to be. But there's someone in this ring that may not want you to accept my invitation.

Steve turns his attention to Masters.

I mean, after all, you are getting married next week, someone ordained has to officiate it. D'Von's a Raw guy but I'm sure Stone Cold and Randy could work something out, because what could be more important on the Road to Wrestlemania than the wedding of Chris Masters and Layla? I'm calling it now, this will be the most captivating thing to come from you since that workout tape you did and showed everyone. How's your leg, by the way?

Steve acts like he's going to stomp it as Masters bends to block it as Steve backs off, a wide smile on his face as he snickers aloud.

If that's all it takes to make you flinch, you're going to be eliminated from this match very quickly. In fact, your entrance will be longer than your actual participation time, so my suggestion is rehab the leg and try to ensure that doesn't happen. I mean, Layla, would you honestly be proud to tell everyone that Chris is your husband if he had an embarassing showing like that? Never mind, I forgot you were an idiot, of course you would.

Steve walks over to Shark Boy.

Hello, Shark Boy. You look angry. Did it bother you when Matt and I made fun of your hero and mentor the bottom feeding, "Texas Rattlesnake" Stone Cold Steve Austin? Well if you're thinking of taking a swing and getting things started a few weeks earlier, I suggest you put that back in the tackle box, Jaws. After all, Devitt has to have something left of you to kick around the ring.

Steve turns his attention back to the stage.

Speaking of Smackdown, I can't wait for it to come and go this week because if any of you are like me, which is another rhetorical statement, because none of you are, you were absolutely riveted by what AJ Styles had to say and can hardly contain yourself as the time that he joins us in the ring approaches. Someone needs to come out here, because if they don't, well, it's going to be a short Rumble.

Steve begins to laugh as the crowd boos him immensely. Steve then gets a serious look on his face.

But first, there's one more person I want to address before I lower my microphone.

Steve turns his attention to Daniel Bryan.

I thought Bubba Ray was the worst offender when it came to guys that put on the facade of toughness, but he has been usurped by miles and miles after Daniel's little blow-up here. And the droves of morons occupying these seats ate up every single bit of it, because when you're an Internet and former indy darling like Daniel Bryan, that's what happens, it's catnip to them. These people respect the passion you have for this business, they respect the time you've dedicated to your craft, they respect the effort that you put into the matches you compete in, and while I'm there are fellow Rumble participants that feel the same way, I'm not one of them, Daniel.
Even if I found one shred of something about you even remotely likeable, I wouldn't be able to stomach coming in close enough contact with you to inform you of what that something is, and that's because of the overwhelming nausea that comes from listening to you run your mouth and get that pissed off look on your face. I can't take you seriously, Daniel, because everything you say and the way you say it reeks of desperation. "Like me, take me seriously, tell me I'm a good wrestler". When I look at you getting all fired up and screaming and using swear words because, "Ooh, that'll get their attention", I don't see or hear a man. I see a little kid, the same little kid you would see standing in the middle of a Toys 'R Us screaming his lungs out because he wanted the Red Power Ranger mask and the blue one but his parents told him to pick just one.

If there's anyone on this company's roster that's more irritating than you, I haven't met them yet or they've yet to sign a contract and be assigned a brand. For far too long it's been all about Daniel Bryan. Daniel Bryan appearing alongside Bray Wyatt and Damien Sandow week after week after week, Daniel Bryan wrestling Dean Ambrose month after month after month. Normally you'd call that too much of a good thing, but I honestly believe from the bottom of my heart that you being here isn't a good thing, Daniel, and it's because of the overexposure you get because of the hearts you've won over behind the scenes over the years. You want to be ranked with the Stone Cold Steve Austins and The Rocks of this industry because you're the longest reigning Television Champion or you can get an entire arena to chant, "Yes" at the top of their lungs for minutes on end.

You don't belong in that class, and I don't care how many championships you win or honors you're bestowed. I don't care if you get inducted into every pro wrestling hall of fame the entire world over, you will never, ever, EVER be a Rock, you'll never be a Stone Cold, and you'll certainly never be the greatest of the great, the "Icon" Steve Borden. I might not hold a championship right now, but as sure as you're a dragon in need of slaying, the day is coming that I will hold one again. And it won't be shared with someone, and it won't be as meaningless as the belt you're holding. You can try to take up for it and assure me of its credibility and prestige, but I'll still write it off, and that's because, to me, that title lost what little prestige it had when Cena decided he wasn't going to defend it.

But I wouldn't expect you to remember me touching on that earlier, because if you were listening, I imagine your hearing is as bad as your memory. If you're going to insult me, do it factually. I wasn't the one that got cashed in on, moron, Kane was, so whatever or whoever your sources are, you might want to check again. You see, Bryan, when you stand there remembering things as you want to remember them and painting situations how you want to paint them in spite of the truth and what actually happened, one day someone's going to call you out on it. But not just the cash-in, everything you said. If I was changing my name every week or every month, you might have gained some ground with that insult but I have only gone under two names in the UWF, Sting and Steve Borden, and it was only recently that I decided to no longer be Sting.

If that's your idea of returning a jab tenfold, you might want to sit back down and realize that you're throwing hands with an adult that's a lot better versed in this than you are. Randy Orton's been protecting you by putting you in situations that would keep you looking good and looking credible, that's why he kept us apart and that's one of the reasons he sent me to Smackdown, because he thought that would ensure that we'd always be apart. He didn't account for the possibility that this day might come, that you and I may meet in the Royal Rumble. Well here we are, at a time and place that not only is Randy powerless to protect you, everyone is.
But I can see the resentment in your eyes, you wish I'd quit saying these things because in your mind, Randy hasn't been protecting you, you've just been working that hard. You've gotten to where you are because you clawed your way from the bottom of the food chain to the top link, with you being the only person to have your back. You stood on your own two feet once and that was the night you lost the World Heavyweight Championship, which is why you're right back under his wing co-holding a belt because he couldn't find it in his heart to have you or Daniels miss out on the spotlight.

So the question is am I wasting your space or are you wasting mine?

Daniel goes to respond but Steve cuts him off.

In your own words, NO! You've said quite enough, Daniel. It was a rhetorical question anyway, and the answer is obvious. You're wasting my space, but that's not the only thing wasting, time is also a victim. Time is wasting away to February second, the night that this match takes place, the night that one man's dream is realized and twenty-nine men's dreams are crushed. I intend to win this match, but if I don't, much like D'Von has threatened to do with me, if worst comes to worst, I'll gladly accept the consolation prize and eliminate myself in the process of eliminating you, that way if I don't win the Rumble, at least that means you don't either. And then what happens? Are you going to hang up the boots? Are you going to get fired? I'll wait and see, because speculating too much is only going to take my eye off of what's important, me winning and you losing, or both of us losing, whatever the situation calls for.
The crowd boos as Steve smiles again, lowering his microphone. Having left a bad taste in the mouths of his peers, it isn't long before the "Icon" is responded to.​

 

[rawisrey]

Damien Sandow:

Gentleman, let’s attempt to keep some decorum. If not for the lady present, then for yourselves as it seems you’ve all lost perspective. You’ve all come out here or appeared on the screen to speak about this bout and yet in doing so, it appears you’ve all revealed more than you think. As the majority of you skimmed over my name whenever you spoke, from the good reverend to the happy couple to the two men with nicknames that are laughably misplaced as their phenomenon and charisma levels are debatable. Even the most nonsensical one of the bunch, the one who can bad mouth anyone for he lives in his own abhorrent world, only spoke to me when referring to Daniel Bryan as well. The reason for that is quite simply, You all realize what I spoke was truth. You all, whether you like to admit it or not, recognize that this bout is in fact Damien Sandows to lose, and because of that you made sure not to overtly focus on the strongest possibility. Sure you all made your claim to be victorious, but by not actively seeking me out you’ve attempted to protect yourselves from fully being proven wrong and simply having an off night. It’s a defensive mechanism, one that is not present in two individuals and those two ironically are the ones who can’t seem to halt their rate of speech.

Sandow turns to Daniel, getting a somewhat angered look on his face as he bends over slightly to get to his level.​

You Daniel…You’re the one who has no earthly idea what I’m capable of. But I know what you are, I’ve seen all your bouts and taken note on your threshold for pain and marked the weaker points. That’s what I do Mr. Bryan, I do not kick heads in…I use mine…shall I go through the List? Prior knee injury, weight within range to pick off floor and throw out. Torn Labrum, otherwise known as a small part of the Shoulder, able to aggravate while keeping at a vertical base easier to tip over the ropes and unable to hold on. Fractured Ankle, Bicep tear, remove power from equation and leave a proverbial sitting duck. Ankle Injury, diminutive stature, easy elimination. Whole slew of injuries to choose from, avoid initial outburst and slow down to eliminate. Hip injury, championship held allows for easier target for injury. And the final two have caused one another so much injury all needed is to target what I please, but what about Daniel Bryan. I know each and every kink in your armor Mr. Bryan, but most importantly I see the weakness for the human being itself, Hot headedness while useful for an elimination or two is a way to lose focus. So while you “kick heads in”, I shall eradicate, and while you pander to the audience I shall be waiting and planning…I know all your tricks, Your holds, your capabilities, you’ve spent the majority of your life learning how to be the best in the ring but You never accounted for someone outsmarting you as a person instead of as a wrestler and that, my poor lost friend, is what will mark your downfall.

Sandow smirks as he turns his head to the other person he alluded, Steve Borden.​

And it brings me to you, Mr…Borden is it? At least this week correct? And the gentleman by your side I believe is known as one Mr. Bloom, now what have you both in common? There is one common thread, you switch personas at the drop of a hat, one week you could be some surfer like charlatan or a self-described Hip…Hop…Hippopotamus, the next you could be dropped from the rafters with a bat in hand or with Japanese markings scrolled across your face. What does this precisely state about you both? That you’re ever changing, you change with the times and therefore never become stale? No, what it truly says is that Steven Borden and Matthew Bloom are just the children wearing to change their entire wardrobe and manner of speech to fit in. That you as people are nothing of interest and so you must constantly change so that in your mind you don’t become stale, but do trust me Gentleman You became stale a long time ago, and Mr. Bloom you may hold the record for fastest metamorphosis to staleness in our companies history. Mr. Borden allow me to shine a light on the issue at hand, these poor ignorant people can only state one thing about you a thousand different ways not by fault of their own. Simply because there isn’t anything else to you…your lack of wrestling ability has already been established with your mediocre rise and fall in UWF, your lack of intelligence has almost been heralded by you alone in a cavalcade of ineptitude, and your questionable status as an Icon has been debunked time and time again. Now what have they to aim at? Simply you as a person, and you as a person just as you’ve always feared is not much to write home about, that’s precisely why you’ve changed so much, so do forgive them they really have no other alternative.​

Sandow shakes his head almost in disgust before he turns his attention else world.​

With that stated, there is one individual who boasted about his Charismatic personality. One Mr. Christian, the man who only has one notable accomplishment to his name and that is maintaining constant employ here in UWF. Perhaps it is unfair to judge you for your past, perhaps now you believe yourself to be different, that NOW is the time to rise. But let us be realistic, how many times has it been “the time”? And how many times have you fallen short of your claims and left only to reemerge the following month beginning the cycle once again. Christian I am sad to be the one to inform you of this, but enlightenment can also bring about clarity over things you did not want to know. You are simply here, because this bout did not remain 20 superstars like it originally began. You are in UWF, because the Raw Roster and the Smackdown Rosters must remain as even as possible. In other words, to everyone around you, you are simply a number and no matter how much these “peeps” cheer you on or even reject you, you will never break through the glass window because you are several stories below it without any idea how to reach it. My word, would do wonders for you, my salvation would allow you to reach the potential everyone states you have yet you never seem to show, but that is simply my position on your lack of one.

Damien cocks an eyebrow as he remembers someone who spoke via the tron.

The same position I hold for the good reverend, for you are no stranger to changing to attempt to stay relevant. You’ve lost your way and become just another abhorrent “hardcore” cretin, and now you have settled back into your position quoting the self-proclaimed “good book”. It’s disheartening to see, for should you join my word with your family, and experience the books I have to parlay instead of holding all your eggs on one basket with just one. There would be no telling the possibilities for you lot, alas some lost souls are so convinced they have found their way when they find the same path so many others have beaten into the ground they cannot fathom the large percentage of ignoramuses that inhabit our world. Either way your lack of true vision only reveals your true chances in this bout.​

Chances similar to those of one Mr. Styles, who holds this companies most abhorrent and despondent title the…”hardcore” championship... believes himself to be phenomenal yet I have having trouble finding anything extraordinary or remarkable about him. Mr. Styles is more lost than the lot of you, and as such all I could really state is how sad it is that he is separated by the brands so as to not be directly influenced by my word. But even if this is the case I insist Mr. Styles to accept me as his savior, for my enlightenment reaches far and even once as lost as him can be saved.

Sandow turns his gaze to one side, looking at Shark Boy and pauses for a moment.​

…For some however the road to enlightenment passes through many obstacles and in this case spans the length of seas. But Mr…I’m sorry…Mr. Boy?...​

Sandow rubs his eyes as if trying not to get a headache

I’m not sure what could have possibly occurred in your…”life” for it to end up this way, but in being an ever forgiving savior I cannot see anyone as too lost…even one of your stature. Perhaps your need to be viewed as a sea creature points towards how deeply rooted your lack of an identity is…perhaps behind that…fin…there is a mind needed to be molded.​

Damien cringes a little, not sure what to make of Sharkboy, and quickly moves on.

Moving on, Mr. Masters and Ms. Layla. While so many here I only see as people who can be saved, both of you I see as simply people who need my word. I don’t see you two as infected by the disease of incompetence as the rest of the world, however I see a lack of focus on the bigger picture and while you may have the tools to accomplish something you need the intellect I offer to truly go anywhere. Either way, unlike the other abhorrent representatives of your brand, I wish you the best of luck on your Smackdown endeavors…for while you may not have the main event of Wrestlemania you two shall still have each other.

Sandow turns to the audience speaking out to the world​

And that leaves only…well the rest of the Royal Rumble participants ready to emerge and make their own claims. Before you do so, allow me to reiterate: I, Damien Sandow, am going to win the Royal Rumble. I, Damien Sandow, am main-eventing Wrestlemania. And I, Damien Sandow, shall become your Worlds Heavyweight Champion. And while 29 people shall feel defeated, shall feel as if they failed, let me personally reassure you all. For in the loss of 29 shall come the actual victory of many, for in the ashes of your dreams rises a phoenix named Salvation. So in a way, all of you are assisting the future of intellect by being defeated…which means that thanks to my victory there isn’t only one like so many advertisements for this bout state…thanks to my victory we as a human race…win…You’re Welcome.
​

​

 

[CaptainxBumout]

The lights dim and just as suddenly they start to flicker as Dean Ambrose's music hits and the crowd goes in a frenzy for the only 4 time World Heavyweight Champion. Dean Ambrose comes out with his signature black jean jacket and disturbed look on his face. He stands there at the top of the stage and cracks his head to the side. There is a mic already in hand as he begins to speak.



Dean Ambrose
Well well well would you look at this. Don't mind me, I was just watching you all get so fired up bickering amongst one another like school yard children. It's not like I didn't expect this. Another year, another batch of hopefuls who think they got what it takes to be in the main event of WrestleMania. I look in the ring and see all your eager faces hoping one day to carve out a legacy here. I can see some of you actually believe you already deserve the main event slot. Here's a little reality check for all you folks, being in the main event of WrestleMania doesn't make you shit. Go ahead and ask The Miz how well his career is doing after being in the main event at the biggest event of the year.

Ambrose chuckles to himself and shakes his head before continuing on.

It's been over two years since this company started and I've seen everyone, even some of you in that ring right now, come and go. Wrestlers have left, owners have changed but only one man has been a constant. I am UWF. I've watched you all from afar try to succeed but in the end it's just failed stint after failed stint after failed stint. And you want to know why? It's because you're not good enough. Throwing people over a rope doesn't make you a champion. Trust me, I've gone into all three of my WrestleMania matches as a champion but now it looks like I could be one of the challengers. How exciting. You see I don't really care if I make it to the main event of WrestleMania. I'm here to prove that none of you actually deserve a damn thing. You'd have to be an idiot to believe HBK is your real World Heavyweight Champion. None of you deserve to be near a World Championship until you prove you can beat Dean Ambrose. A feat, very few have ever done. As a matter of fact, you can count them on three fingers but even then only one really succeeded.

Now don't get me wrong, I will win this rumble. I'm going to reclaim what was stolen from me. For the past couple of months, I only wanted to fight the best but it's become pretty clear that even the best don't stand a chance against Dean Ambrose. Maybe the reason I've always been involved in taking down groups of people is because that was the only real challenge for me but now it seems there's nothing left. The only thing left for me to do is restore some credibility back to the World Heavyweight Championship. WrestleMania for the most part is a place where no screw jobs happen. It's where the best fight the best and prove who is the real champion. There are no more briefcases floating around so I don't have to worry about being screwed that way again. I don't want the glory that comes with winning a title at WrestleMania. I want to shut all of you up who think you deserve a damn thing over me.

The crowd cheers as Ambrose just stares at everyone in the ring.

Hello there Damien. I see you're as annoying as ever. Do you truly believe you can win this? You may have come close last year but I wasn't a part of the Royal Rumble last year. I was busy being World Heavyweight Champion but now I find myself in the same spot as you. The only thing different is, I know I have what it takes to win. You on the other hand know you can't accomplish a thing without a little help. That's why you're trying to recruit a little help right now. I can't say I see anyone dumb enough to join you although Chris Masters seems to be too preoccupied with AJ to win so he could inadvertently help you. The same can be said for Sting and Daniel Bryan. I don't plan on eliminating all 29 other men so go ahead and take each other out but let it be known Daniel Bryan, I couldn't help but notice you mention my name and you'd have to be delusional to think you're better than me. I made you after all. When you first came here to UWF, you were just another wrestler. It wasn't until I beat you within an inch of your life that the world was suddenly talking about Daniel Bryan. It was because of me you earned your first World Heavyweight Championship title match and it's also because of me that you didn't get another one until a year later.

Ambrose stands there staring at Bryan for a good ten seconds before finally speaking again.

And would you look at this, a new kid coming into my territory trying to act tough with his little gang. Beat it kid. I’ve taken out little groups three times as good as you. You've had one good match and you're walking around thinking you're the next best thing is that it? You think one match makes you special? Maybe it does. I'll tell you what, one match can change your life forever but not in the way you think. Get in my way and I’ll prove to you how one match with me can end your career before it even begins.

The fans rally behind Ambrose showing Prince Devitt where he stands. Ambrose then turns around and faces the stage.

And now to address those who decided to leave us a little message instead of face us like real men. It looks like you're not the only newcomer around here Devitt. D’Von or should I call you reverend? I know you're not exactly new but you've yet to see what real competition looks like so you're still a new guy to me. Now I’ve already dealt with a religious fanatic like you before. Go ahead and ask Bray Wyatt how crossing me ended for him? He’s practically gone from this company because of it. But I took a lot of pleasure from watching him suffer. And then of course we have AJ who still thinks he's in UCW living his glory days. I only got a quick chance to fight you in a battle royal but I look forward to seeing if you still have what it takes. Then of course we had Sheamus. A man I beat just a month ago. You seem just as bright as ever Sheamus. You have a lot of optimism for a man who was lying down on his back with me standing over him just a short while ago. I look forward to giving you a reminder of why size doesn't matter.

Ambrose turns around and once again faces everyone in the ring.

And would you look at whose returned. If it isn't none other than the man I embarrassed quite a while ago, Christian. What is this your seventh or eighth return? Sure your doing good now. I would too if I had a couple of months off but you see I don't get month's off. Without me running all the bad apples from this company out, this place would fall apart. And without you well, this place would keep on running as it has been. You're nothing special and you never will be. To me, you're just another number and just another number correctly summarizes Shark Boy. I'm not entirely sure what your whole thing is. I get it, sometimes people need to get a good laugh but you know what makes me laugh? I don't think you really want to know but if you keep running your mouth, I'll be happy to show you right before I throw you like a fish out of water.

Ambrose starts to chuckle to himself once again before finally looking over to Steve Borden.

And what have we got here? The crown jewel of wrestling's past. That's not a knock on you being old Steve. As a matter of fact, I plan on still beating the best at your age. The difference between us though Steve is that I don't need my own brand to get others to notice me. You're only fooling yourself if you think anyone actually cares about you now that you can't be shoved down anyone's throat week after week. I'm not going to force you into retirement Steve, no that'd be too easy. I want you to see just how useless you are. I'm not going to punch you, I'm not going to hit you with my One Hitter. I'm going to come out, eliminate you, and then move on. I'm going to show you how little I really care about you.

Ambrose smirks at Steve Borden before turning away and addressing the crowd.

This rumble match means so much to so many people. It's their one opportunity to really shine. Me on the other hand, I'll have tons of opportunities. Unlike everyone else, I don't need this to make myself feel better. I know what I'm capable of and I know I am the true World Heavyweight Champion. This Royal Rumble gives me the chance, not to prove it, but to remind people of it. Some of you may have forgotten, but I'm here to make sure you never forget.

Ambrose lowers his mic and slowly backs away. He leans on the minitron with his arms crossed and waits for someone to reply. ​

 

[Andrew]

MMMMMISSSTERRRRRRR.....KENNEDYYYYYYYYY!

"Turn Up The Trouble" by Airbourne begins to play over the PA system as the capacity crowd erupts into boos. It isn't long before they're joined by the man the theme belongs to, the Hardcore Champion Mr. Kennedy, as the lights in the arena dim and Mr. Kennedy stands there in his own spotlight, a mist surrounding him like an aura as he motions for his microphone and is granted it, bringing it to his mouth as "Turn Up The Trouble" fades out to silence.

Mr. Kennedy: Guess I'm a little late to this party. There's so many people out here, it's just a constant reminder of what happened to me last year. Yeah, right before Wrestlemania so let me deliver a history lesson. I don't care if you wanted to hear this or not, it's my turn to talk; not yours. One year ago I made my debut here in UWF... well almost a year ago; but it was this moment. Royal Rumble, the chance to shine, to eliminate 29 other opponents and ensure that you don't go over the top rope in order to become victorious and be at Wrestlemania. Well last year I would have gone to WrestleMania, I could have faced Shawn Michaels... but I didn't show up. I had issues, management then changed the match over and I was nowhere to be seen. I've never been to a WrestleMania, it's something I strive for. I am not letting the same mistake slip up once again, it is a childhood dream to be at WrestleMania. Each and every single one of you want to be there, I know it, you know it. But this match, a Royal Rumble match... Do I look like the guy that can eliminate the giants? Surely not. Do I have what it takes to be up there with the best in the business, of course. It'd be quite stupid to say that I don't deserve to be at the top of the mountain; I paved my way in a year ago; had a few mishaps at the beginning but then I became the longest reigning Smackdown Champion. It's time that I evaluate myself to a higher level, to become the very best, to be UWF's best. Those early days still haunt me, the fact I was so delusional and moronic that I allowed myself to miss these opportunities. Look at HBK, he's now your Champion... That could have been me. If I had of turned up to WrestleMania, I could have shown the damn teacher that this student doesn't back down, this student here could have defeated him and put him out of his damn misery! Well Shawn, I hope you find a way to beat Tyson Kidd because once I'm done with this Royal Rumble I'm coming straight after you. But I'm not here to speak on why I should win, because I have a 3.33% chance to win. My chances are super-slim, it ain't pleasant is it. Even the best could be eliminated before I am but my goal, my intention. Whether I win or lose, I'm going to make a damn impact.

But I see a few people have mentioned me, one being Sting who thinks I'll be speaking of my minor brain damage and such. Well old-man, you're wrong. Just like the rest of the people that's came out here and decided to speak. I keep myself short for a reason, at least I'm showing up this time around... This will be the only time I'm out here speaking because quite frankly throwing people over the top rope doesn't prove any justification to me. If I wanted to prove myself to the damn world, I'll do it the other way around. That's by WRESTLING! But if I have to toss a couple of people out of the ring, I will. If this is what I have to do just to be at WrestleMania, then I'll do it. But once I am eliminated, you can damn-guarantee that I'll be requesting a match at WrestleMania because I'll freakin' be there somehow. I don't care if I have to align myself with Kevin Steen to do so; I will do anything to be at WrestleMania. I'll see you at the Rumble folks... I'll let you all do the talking, I'm all about the ACTION!

Mr. Kennedy then spits his gum, he looks at everyone in the ring. He then leaves the arena as the rest look at each other as it looks like somebody in the ring may talk... or not.​

 

[Schmidty]

Chris steps back into the center of the ring with Layla by his side and begins to speak out of anger.

Chris Masters:
You know what? It's pretty damn obvious that nobody feels the need to help me out on my goal to do what it takes to prevent AJ Styles from winning. And while all of you repeated the same shit over and over again I was sitting here thinking about what I said about AJ Styles. That's why I am going to put it in my own hands to get him out. Then I'm going to get the rest of you out because I will NOT be overlooked by the likes of you punks standing in this ring. Each and every one of you have this crazy idea that you're the best and that you're different than the rest. But in reality, you're all the same. You will all meet up with the one man that'll block the sun to prevent any light to shine on your path of success so that you wonder off into the distance to the point where there's no turning back. And if you do somehow make your way back to the light. You'll witness the master of all things wrestling rise above every other wrestler in the world and submit myself in the history books as one of the best if not THE BEST.

Let's just take a look at my competition for a second so I can explain to the world how easy it's going to be for me to complete the legendary task of winning the Royal Rumble. Firstly I want you all to take a good long look at Daniel Bryan. This man may have a lot of fight in him, but at the end of the day, he'll always be the smaller man. He has a flabby stomach and a very weak build. To top it all off, the man doesn't even know how to groom properly. This is not what you people want. He just has an easy to understand catch phrase so you all decide that it's easier to chant than most because most other catchphrases hurt your puny little brains.

Daniel looks to be offended by this as Chris changes his attention to Prince Devitt

Speaking of puny and little. Look at this guy. Prince Devitt. A man I know so little about but his build says it all. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're in ring style is similar to most NJPW trash that I see on a daily basis. You won't last long kid. You'll gather a little momentum but I'll stop you dead in your tracks and scoop you up like roadkill and toss you out of my ring. Do everybody a favor and leave while you have the chance. You wrestled in indy promotions for a reason. Don't make a fool of yourself just because your ego is bigger than your brain.

Now I couldn't help but notice the biggest joke of em all wobble his way into the ring. Shark Boy. I noticed that you were pretty excited about your win over me a few weeks ago. I would be a nice guy and congratulate you but it was a fluke win. No need to explain why but the more important explanation lies in your hands. Why do you think so highly of yourself when you're not even acting like yourself? You're a corporate puppet. They dressed you up a long time ago and gave you a little gimmick to follow and that's exactly what you did but you started to believe the lies that you were forced to say. You need a reality check bud. Maybe Kennedy can come back and do you a favor. The fact of the matter is, when you step in the ring with superior athletes, you'll realize your exact place in society. At the bottom of my boot. Or should I do you a favor and toss you up Stone Cold Steve Austin's ass?

Shark Boy looks to be mouthing off at Chris as he turns his back to him only to take a look at Damien Sandow.

Damien Sandow. A man who's says i'm not focused on the bigger picture yet he's obsessed with the education of others. If you wanted to be a damn teacher then the wrestling ring is the wrong place to go. You call somebody stupid, they're not going to open up a book. They're going to punch you in the mouth and slam you on the mat. No doubt you know what you're doing in the ring Damien, but you are so distracted by the stupidity that you're surrounded in that you slip up. Not a wise thing to do if you ask me. But what do I know? I've got more muscle than brains.

Damien looks into the eyes of Chris and ignores the sarcasm. Chris then moves on to Sting.

Oh damn! It's Sting! I didn't know I was on Walking With The Dinosaurs. You are an icon man. I remember watching Sting vs Ric Flair at Clash Of The Champions one year when I was younger. And I was rooting for you. But you want to know what happened? Hell you probably already forgot. Let me refresh your memory. You let me down. Ric Flair walked out as champ. You let down all the kids rooting for you thus forever creating your legacy of letting people down. Now you expect me to believe that you have a chance at winning the Royal Rumble Match? That's a load of bullshit and you know it. You will always be that same guy who let all those kids down in 1988. So hang your head down in shame Steve and drop out of the Rumble so you can do everybody a giant favor of the wrestling world and just go away. Hell, take your bald guy with you. I'm sure you'll need another bald head to compare to when you start losing your hair anyways.

Chris turns away from Steve and begins to speak again.

Christian.....you claim that my muscular build can't stop you from winning the Rumble. Well I assure you that I'll change your mind. It's not wise to make whacky claims Christian because it makes you look like a fool when I prove you wrong. I can lift you over my head and throw you out of this ring myself so just wait for the Rumble. You'll be looking up at me. You're used to looking up at your superiors anyways so just get used to it. You'll never.......get that One More Match so give it up and go home you stupid irrelevant piece of trash.

And when it comes down to it and I am face to face with you Dean, I'm going to break you and smash all that cockiness right out of your skull. You are just like AJ Styles. You are an undeserving ass kisser who gets all the damn opportunities when it should be guys like me getting them. So that's why it's my god given mission to win the UWF 2014 Royal Rumble Match and go off to headline Wrestlemania. Next week I'm getting married. In a few weeks, I'm getting a head start on the road to Wrestlemania when I enter Royal Rumble as Chris Masters and I leave as the Number One Contender to the World Heavyweight Championship. Anybody can try to stop me. By all means, all of you in this ring can attempt to throw me over the ropes but I can't promise that you'll succeed because I'm too damn good. I'm going to make a statement to all the men and women who said that I'd amount to nothing. The future is now boys. You are going to have front row seats to see The Master take this company and smash it into a million pieces. No longer will I be overlooked. Don't overlook me because it's a cause and effect situation. You overlook me, I break your wrestlers. You disrespect me, I break you. You get in my way, you won't even crawl away. The Master Express is going full speed towards the Royal Rumble. You step in it's way and you'll become a part of the tracks.​

 

[Nate]

Oprah: Ladies and gentleman, welcome back to another edition of Oprah where my special guest is probably one of the more entertaining members we've had on this show. Please help me give a warm welcome to Reverend D'Von Dudley!

The crowd applauds for Reverend D'Von who is sitting in a chair beside Oprah Winfrey. D`Von does not look too impressed with Oprah right now.

Reverend D'Von: I apoligize Mrs. Winfrey, but did you just introduce me as an 'entertaining' guest on your show?

Oprah: Well yes, are you not a professional wrestler?

Reverend D'Von: A professional wrestler... come on now what kind of imbecile do you take me for? I am who I am Oprah, I don't portray some stupid Reverend to gather ratings for that vile creature named Triple H; I AM a Reverend to take down said creature; him and all the worthless members of the UWF Management! I don't even know why I bother to come to this waste of God's natural resources. How many have suffered to bring daily entertainment from this show Winfrey, hmm? Oh but I bet you have absolutely no idea. No I'm sure that a rich billionare like yourself has absolutely no reason to open her greedy eyes and see the world for what it really is, a cold and miserable place! Well it doesn't have to be Oprah if everyone had a little faith and guidance within them, now would it?

Oprah looks speechless as Reverend D'Von just layed the law down to her. She ignores the jeers towards her and asks D'Von the first question.

Oprah: So what I hear from this Royal Rumble match is that there are 30 men that are battling out at once, right? That must be quite a few people in the ring, how do you plan on winning the match?

Reverend D'Von: The truth is Oprah is that I don't plan on winning any of my matches. I have learned from the Lord that he will either grant me a win, or he doesn't. No buts, ifs or ands. If the Lord sees good in me winning the Royal Rumble match then he shall allow it, but if not then I will graciously walk away after being eliminated and never take a look back. It's all a matter of believing that Jesus will reward you with your patience and dedication, whether that means if I win the Royal Rumble match or not, it really depends on His choosing.

Reverend D'Von looks at the camera, ready to start some trashtalking to the participants in the Royal Rumble match.

Reverend D'Von: I shall start with you Daniel Bryan, since you are so egar to spread lies about how I show faith to my Lord. I do not believe in preaching in front of the UWF Wretched's home territory Mr. Bryan. I have rules and obligations to attend to, so if anybody ever wants to change the way that they view life then they are more then welcome to come down to one of my sermons. After all I am a people pleaser and I feel that if I want to make my presence known to the UWF Wretched in the ring, then I will do so. But for now Mr. Bryan I will read my psalms and sing my hymms, because between now and the Royal Rumble I will be doing nothing but praying for forgiveness from the Lord. I will be praying for your lost as well Mr. Bryan, your loss when you realize that you're not cut out to become a headliner in one of the most foul dates known to Mankind; Wrestlemania! I know that I am unable to boss you around Mr. Bryan, but the matter of fact is that you don't even know that your life is spiraling out of control. How can I boss one around when one doesn' even have control of his own life, hmm? Me and my 'bible-humping' personality knows all the flaws in your logic, but I'm afraid that I don't have time to discuss them all with you.

Oprah: I'm sorry D'Von but I've just received a complaint from the producers of the show and-

Reverend D'Von: And what? There is nothing to discuss Oprah, I'm here to express my flawless preachings and there is not a damn thing that anyone can do about it. This next one is for you, Dean Ambrose! You think that Bray Wyatt and I have the same vocation? Well you couldn't be more wrong my brother. Bray Wyatt talks nothing but garbage about swamps and buzzards; all hocus pocus, but what I preach is damn real. Every time a miracle happens it's not because of science, it's not because of luck; it's because God chose to forgive another sinner like you! As for me being the new guy, well let's just say that I've been around the block a couple of times my brother, and I will hold nothing back to wipe that stupid grin off your face. You better believe that like you believe your precious alchoholic beverages and cigarettes actually calm you.

Oprah: Ok Reverend D`Von I think it`s time to stop you right there-

Reverend D'Von jerks his hand away from Oprah and gives her the evil eye. Oprah is looking frightened as security comes out from the back.

Reverend D'Von: There is nothing that you can do to stop this madness woman! You think that you can impress me with your $20,000 wooden table that's standing before us? You are a disgrace to society! You have billions of dollars in your possession, yet it's common knowlege that you don't donate any of it to charity! I will see that God personally smites you and banishes you to rot in the depths of hell!

Oprah makes a run for it as Securty comes running down towards Reverend D'Von. D'Von is fully prepared for this as he takes down all of Oprah's bodyguards with clotheslines and back body drops. Oprah is seen running off the set to the boos from the crowd. D'Von yells at them to shut up as Bubba Ray Dudley makes an apperance on the set while holding onto Oprah! Oprah is kicking and screaming as D'Von is smirking now. Bubba nods to D'Von and tosses Oprah to him, then they surround Oprah's expensive table as D'Von lifts up Oprah to Bubba's direction; The Dudley Boyz ending up crashing Oprah through the $20,000 table with a 3D!! D'Von and Bubba are up as they raise their UWF Tag Team belts high while the fans watching are in complete shock over what just happpened. EMT's are rushing down to check up on the popular Oprah as Reverend D'Von continues.

Reverend D'Von: The time has come to realize that nobody on this planet is invunerable to the wrath of the Lord! The hand of Justice will strike down at anybody who tries to get in his way, no matter how powerful or weathy you are! We have just single handly taken down the World's most powerful celebrity in all of Hollywood, and we are not afraid to take down anyone that comes after us in the Royal Rumble! AJ Styles, Chris Masters, Daniel Bryan, Shark Boy, Prince Devitt and Mr. Kennedy; Judgement Day is arriving VERY shortly, and I don't see much of a chance seeing you all in the afterlife living in pure bliss. I'm entering this Rumble with great ambition, that even God may even be impressed with this humble Reverend of God. Oh my brother, tesitfy!

Reverend D'Von and Bubba Ray Dudley both leave the set as the fans are throwing stuff at them now, while the EMT's drag away the unconious Oprah Winfrey while taking apart pieces of her expensive table out of her freaklishly long hair.​

 

[Chase]

The arena goes and it darkens up when all of a sudden “Evil Ways” by Blue Sacraneno hits the PA system



A dark aura fills up the arena as AJ Styles makes his way out to the ring, with the hardcore championship around his waist. AJ goes and he looks down at the entrance ramp. AJ looks up when

GET
READY TO
FLY




Fans cheer as AJ Styles takes off his hood, and he does his Phenomenal One pose by putting the two gloves together. Styles goes as he jumps on the top rope and he looks at all the men in the ring, Styles goes and he points at all of them and he goes as he jumps down and he grabs a microphone and he first turns to Chris Masters and Layla

AJ Styles: Oh is it my good buddy Chris Masters. The man who I made tap out twice… So you are now starting a campaign get rid of AJ Styles. This man is a monster, and all I do is what you say again? “Kiss ass” to the company, that I have been holding you and others back? Chris, first of all if I was a company favorite by these officials they wouldn’t have traded me from Raw to Smackdown. Stephanie McMahon traded me because of what you said earlier. That all I do is choke, that I can’t shine when the light are on bright. That is why I was traded so I don’t think I am a corporate kiss ass. Chris if you mean kicking your ass is holding you back, but the fact of the matter is this Chris I am not holding you back. If anything Chris you want people to gang up on me because you know you can’t get the job done. You know for a damn fact you can’t eliminate me in this match, and that you’re nothing but afraid of the truth that maybe you’re just not ready for the big leagues. Chris I didn’t ask Austin to put me in the hardcore title match he just put me in there to teach Kennedy a message, and what did I do not once, but twice. I taught Mr. Kennedy a lesson. Chris if I have to teach you a lesson three times I will do so, because Chris you and these other men are not letting you stop me from my dream.

AJ goes and he points to the wrestlemania sign

AJ Styles: Wrestlemania… the showcase of immortals. That is where I am looking to be when it is all said and done Chris, but if you want to try and take me out go for it. I am waiting for you to attempt to even do so, but just know like in all of our previous encounters I will be on step ahead of you.

AJ goes and he turns around as he looks at Sharkboy and he speaks

AJ Styles: Sharkboy…. Well I can see your still chumming just like the old TNA days. Just don’t try and bite my ass during this match okay.

After the little laugh AJ Styles goes and he looks on at Steve Borden and he goes on as he begins to speak

AJ Styles: So Sting, or I mean Steve the man people who said I have been imitating since coming back to the UWF. Steve I don’t know why the sudden change, why you would go from being an icon, to all of a sudden just another ordinary man, but you know what that is your preference. Hell it did you some good as all the grandpas in the world must have been excited to see that you were able to bring home a world championship. Now I know you’re looking at a bigger prize. You’re looking at becoming the UWF Champion, and Steve I understand that you will stop at nothing to reach that ultimate goal, but let me tell you Steve that I am looking at the same piece of hardware that you have been looking at. Let me tell you something Steve I won’t stop at nothing to get what I want. The luster of you being an icon it is no longer there, the reason why I may have feared you is no longer there. You and Bloom can talk about being better people, and saving the experience, but I like being a gimmick that these fans can cheer. Speaking of saving.

AJ turns to Sandow as he looks at him before speaking some random phrase in “son of a bitch is heard” by a local San Antonio kid is heard, voice is familiar to some people as AJ turns to the crowd. AJ sees the fan and he goes on as he turns to Sandow and he speaks

AJ Styles: Sorry I was distracted by your number one fan over there in the crowd. I am surprised that there is someone who is a fan of yours, but to each their own. Look Sandow I am going to be honest I don’t care about grammar lessons. I am pretty sure you don’t want me to shake your hand because I am dirty. You’re some sort of intellectual mind for us in the masses so I got something for you. I got a pop quiz for you. You ready? Sandow last year you finished 2nd place last year correct? Now take 28 and subtract that form 30 what do you get there? You get 2, now what is the probability that one man can finish second in this match again. Well you would say probably 4 percent judging base on how long this match is, and how much time it takes to survive in this match, but Sandow say if you’re in the final 2 with me do you know what happens to that 4 percent of finishing second? The answer is it moves to 100 percent of you finishing second again. Sandow we have never met before in this ring, and let me tell you something Damien I will be sure to enlighten you on what it is like facing off against AJ Styles. Oh by the way you’re welcome.

Fans cheer AJ goes and he turns to Prince Devitt and he goes on as he speaks to him

AJ Styles: Devitt pretty cool you have some guy being able to lift you into the ring, and you have your own personal cheer leader. I haven’t faced you yet, and I haven’t taken you on to see what I am getting myself into, but just know Devitt just because you’re some rookie here in the UWF dosen’t make you a rookie in the eyes of AJ Styles. You sure do though talk a big game, but can you back that up. You beat Mr. Kennedy, but I find that hardly impressive considering I beat him twice, and speaking of hardly impressive D-Von, and Sheamus. Look men here is a tip if you want to do little video vignettes do something interesting in them, and not just stand there trying to look intimidating. If anything at least get your own camera man. Hell I have Jay the Camera man. He at least films my work, and makes me look damn impressive all the time. So just a little tip for you guys. Though Devitt I look forward to facing you in this ring for the first time, and showing you why people call me “The Phenomenal One”.

AJ turns to Christian and he begins to speak towards him

AJ Styles: You’re right Christian… those moments in UCW weren’t worth remembering, and that this isn’t UCW this is UWF. I did squander my first chance as world heavyweight champion, but hell Christian just like good ole’ Reverend D-Von’s bible says: “I do believe in second chances”. You see Christian this Rumble match is a chance to redeem the mistakes I have made in the past, and a chance for the world to remember the moment that they saw AJ Styles win this Royal Rumble… and the moment that I went on to Wrestlemania to become the UWF Champion of the world! That right there Christian will be an instant classic….

AJ turns to Daniel Bryan as the fans cheer as the two men look at each other. AJ goes and he speaks towards at his old friend and he begins to speak

AJ Styles: Daniel Bryan a man who I have considered a great rival here in UWF. Bryan I wasn’t filming an episode of MTV Cribs, I was showing you and everyone else in this ring my motivation, my drive to winning the Royal Rumble. I have a reason, and a motive why I want to win this match because I want to have that one memorable moment in my career. I felt I had that with you at Bound For Glory not too long ago, but some issues behind the scenes made that moment kind of made it almost forgettable huh? No matter though because Bryan just like you with that European Championship wanting to prove a point, and send a message to everybody. Well I with this

AJ raises the hardcore championship high in the sky

AJ Styles: Want to enter Wrestlemania with the Hardcore Championship, and walk out with the UWF Championship at the same time. You see Bryan just like you I want to make history, but the question is who wants it more. I mean Bryan last time I showed that I wanted it more…. I defeated you, and Bryan if I have to do it again I will. You see people I am excited about this match up, Dean Ambrose has joined the party, and Mr. Kennedy well he left Before I can make my way down to the ring, but it’s okay because Kennedy I have shown time, and time again he dosen’t have what it takes to win the big match, and in the big moment. Despite though these words people say about me, I can win these big moments… I can win a big match, and I can shine when the lights are on bright. Don’t forget this image of me raising my hand up high, because that will be the image seen at the Royal Rumble.

Fans cheer as AJ goes and he looks on as he awaits a response​

 

[Chase]

The theme of Undertaker hits the pa system as the fans give a huge reaction to the Undertaker. Undertaker goes as he revs up his motorcycle as the fans cheer like crazy, and he goes as he circles around the ring, Undertaker gets off the motorcycle, and he demands a microphone and it is given too him. Undertaker goes as he begins to speak

Undertaker: You know it is kind of funny… That I have put in so many damn years into this business. That I worked my tail off night in and night out here in this fine industry, and just when I think I am getting some damn respect. Just when I think I am finally getting what I want. I get put into this match. I get put into this ridiculous rags to riches match? You shittin’ me? This is the Royal Rumble show and I am stuck in this silly match? All I know about this match is that we are going to have four briefcases hanging from a pole, and each briefcase contains some type of reward a title shot. Why in the blue hell do I need to fight for my title shot? I should just be handed a briefcase right now and you can let the other three boys battle it out for the other three. Dosen’t matter what title I get the champion I face will become famous after taking me on, just like all the other scrubs that will be entering in my yard.

Taker goes as he looks around, and he goes on as he hears the crowd murmuring a mix reaction.

Undertaker: Lets see the potential boys I might face, I mean for example I got to deal with scrubs like Alex Riley. Hell who in the hell is Alex Riley? Oh yeah that little snot nosed brat who is associated with Paul Heyman. Thinks he is all cool and bad just because he hangs around with the UWF Champion. Think he actually means anything in this situation. Riley you’re nothing but gum on my shoe. People call you the rare breed, but you want to know what I call you? Fresh meat, that is all you are too me and that won’t change. I don’t care if how you kids would say “hip” I will make sure you realize a boy like you dosen’t belong in my yard. Who else is in this sum a bitch.​

Oh yeah that man who dances, and his little hippy macho friend. Fandango and EC3. Fandango let me tell you, just because you think you can square dance and that you have won a world title here dosen’t mean your some tough shit. I remember watching you get burnt in our great country red white and blue, and letting that little Mexican jumping bean beat you down. That is all I remember seeing from you as champion. Sure you beat the Rock, but that ain’t saying much. I have defeated the Rock countless, hell numerous of times. I did it so much that when he finally beat me he became a movie star, and walked out knowing that he finally made a name for himself. Fandango I don’t find you getting the same luck as him and neither to you EC3. Ethan Carter the 3rd, Hell to me your just a 3rd mistake in that Carter family, and your nothing more than just a lackey to that Fandango fellow. Hell why do you follow him around if you’re so damn good? Don’t ya think that you should be trying to better yourself in the ring instead of trying to ask auntie Dixie for some fashion tips. My advice to you boy stop listening to your Aunt she dosen’t know what in the hell she is talking about.

Undertaker goes and he puts his microphone to the side and he looks around, he goes near the ropes and he leans on them beginning to speak

Undertaker: Bubba Ray Dudley… Shit son your still the same, nothing more than a little boy who needs to rely on his partner and friend D-Von Dudley. You know Bubba I have been telling you for years that you can do better in this company, and that you are your own worst enemy. Yet it seems that my advice that I have given to you over the years have not gone through your head. You’re still with D-Von, and your nothing more than just some tag team second man who is begging, and pleading for that glass ceiling to break. You want it to break so damn bad, you want people to notice who you are. You want people to know that you’re some big time threat, but Bubba Ray all you are too me is missed opportunity. So why don’t you save us the time and just stay outside the ring in the rumble match and play cheerleader for D-Von.

Now let’s see the Samoan Bulldozer... Umaga. Really? You think you’re some big deal cause your related to the Rock. Do you remember Rikishi Umaga? Yeah he was one big sum of a bitch and I kicked his ass so what makes you so damn special? What just cause you held some worthless extreme championship for months beating boys who don’t know what the word extreme means. Shit son that is nothing at least when I was united states champion I defeated my opposition, and they never came knocking on my door ever again. Seemed like with you that you had the same bozos wanting a damn shot. Too me that shows no one fears, and hell that no one respects you. So why don’t you just bring Trish out here, and leave because let’s face it we all want to see Trish more then you… Hey one of you producer guys hand me a water

The producer man is hesitant as he has a water for the Undertaker goes and he speaks

Undertaker: Do I have to speak again? Damn it I said give me a damn water… Shit.

The producer gives Undertaker the water and he drinks it as Undertaker goes and he speaks

Undertaker: Sorry folks haven’t talked this much in a while, my throat is all dried up, for having to address all these randoms in this match. I mean lets face it folks who are stars in this match. I named boys who don’t even equate to the success I have done in my career. I have made it possible for people to do what they do here in this business. I just see this match, and I see then boys I have to go against and I don’t even question the fact that I will get a damn briefcase. Like I said earlier it dosen’t matter what title I am going because eventually I am going to win that championship and become the champion. See there is a reason folks why I was put in this match, because management wants to test me.

They see that I am sneaking up there in age, they don’t know what they’re going to get out of me. They don’t know if I have it left in the tank. So they want to test me by disrespecting me. That is why I am in this match, and all those Bozos that I just named management thinks if they can somehow beat the good ole Undertaker that these men will become superstars for them down the line. That these boys can become the men of the future; well let me tell you something these boys won’t become men. It dosen’t matter if you’re a former world champion in this match, and you’re looking for a world title match, or if you’re a mid carder looking to break that fake glass ceiling, because at the end of the day this my yard… this is my stomping ground… You have to face the Devil himself if you want to make the big jump, and let me tell you that jump is not an easy one to make. So enough of me hollering let me see who is my first victim in this match, and let’s see which boy wants to make a claim at my yard.

Undertaker goes and he awaits for someone to come out


OOC:

Rules of the Match are the same as the Royal Rumble match, go refer to those rules if you want to know good luck everybody​

 

[Sam]

Shark Boy can be seen in the corner muttering something to the ring tech. Shark Boy is then almost instantly in possession of two bottles of his self branded Sharks Blue Ribbon.

Shark Boy: I guess Shark Boy's gon' be out here for a lil' while so I thought I'd get suitably prepared. AJ, yer my only pal out here and I'd offer ya one but... well... ya know. Oh well, two for me!

AJ has a laugh at Shark Boy making light of his past demons as Shark Boy drowns his mask in beer. Shark Boy places the other can in the corner of the ring and now begins to speak.

Now then, AJ, like I said, yer my pal. Shark Boy don't have many friends outside of his boys Paul Burchill and Grado. Shark Boy ain't one for socializing. But let me tell you this AJ, as much as I do respect you, not only as a friend, as an ally from the old days back at the Asylum, and as much as I respect you as a wrestler in this ring, at the Royal Rumble it's every man for himself. Which means that, even in friendship, I might just need to bite yer bass. But you know it ain't personal AJ, I mean hell, we go back over ten years, we know each other and if any other man were to win this match that ain't named Shark Boy?, I would have no problem seein' AJ Styles goin' to Wrestlemania. But like I said, it's every man for himself and there's no way I'm gon' just step out the way for someone else to win this match. Nah, Shark Boy's gon' give it all he's got and if I have to throw yer bass over the top rope?, well it ain't personal, but I'll dump yer bass over that top rope on my way to winnin' the whole damn thing.

Shark Boy and AJ have a nod of mutual feelings, Shark Boy moves on to Steve Borden.

Now here's a sumbitch I wanna talk about. Sting... sorry Steve, ever since you came out here you've been runnin' everybody down includin' Shark Boy. Now as far as Shark Boy's concerned that ain't gonna fly!. You listen to me you baldin' soulpatch wearin' sumbitch, Shark Boy ain't no parody act. Shark Boy ain't no joke and Shark Boy don't take kindly to you sayin' he is. So here's the deal Steven, you either shut yer damn mouth or I'll shut it for ya quicker than you dropped the gimmick and bored everyone to tears!. But hell, I'll be doin' that at the Rumble anyway. And y'know what Steve?, I normally wouldn't enjoy beatin' up a guy I used to look up to. A guy I thought was the best back in the day. But when ya forget yourself, forget who made you and decide to be dumb sumbitch by pissin' Shark Boy off?, well then you've gave me more than enough reasons to stick this boot in yer guts and hit ya with the Chummer and send ya flyin' over the top rope. And hell, who knows the knock to the head might knock some sense back into ya and we'll see the Stinger back, but until then I'll be decidin' when it's 'Showtime'.

The crowd are chanting Shark Boy's name as he continues his tirade turning his attention to Damien Sandow.

And speakin' of sorry sumbitches that done bored us all to tears, it looks like Damien Sandow ain't gon' be shuttin' up anytime soon, but I ain't gon' lie, that don't surprise Shark Boy much. Now Sandow, I normally let a lot of what you go waffle on past without much thought, but when ya mentioned Shark Boy's name, well then you caught his attention. You think talkin' down to Shark Boy's gon' get you far, son?. You think you're gon' intimidate Shark Boy with yer big fancy words?. Well I sure as hell ain't impressed by dictionaries or thesaruses and as far as Shark Boy can see you're about as much use in a fight as either one of them. So the fishin' line is this, ya don't impress Shark Boy, you've never impressed Shark Boy and Shark Boy ain't gon' be takin' ya up on yer offer of 'saving' him because the only thing Shark Boy's gon' be doin' that involves Damien Sandow, is whippin' Damien Sandow's bass!

The crowd cheer as Shark Boy lambastes Sandow. Sandow looks thoroughly unimpressed. Shark Boy moves on to other matters.

Now as that beer sits over there gettin' warm, I say Shark Boy runs through the rest of ya quickly. Startin' with you Mr Kennedy. We ain't ever met before but I'll give ya credit where it's due. Ya know ya stink, ya know yer borin' and ya know nobody gives a damn about ya, and that's why you finished up so quick, so Shark Boy thanks you for that!. Who else we got?... we got Reverend D-Von Dudley!, shit son what happened to you. I remember back in the day watchin' my ECW tapes seein' you and Bubba Ray and Big Dick and all the other guys throw people through tables and start riots. And when I finally get to meet ya, when I finally get to see what everyone was causin' a damn riot over this is what I get?. Well D-Von, Shark Boy's suggestion to you is that you get down on yer knees and ya say a prayer because Shark Boy's gon' be takin' that damn dog collar ya got around yer neck and he's gonna shove it up yer bass before tossin' ya over the top rope, and that's a damn fact.

Shark Boy nods his head as the crowd gets excited, Shark Boy then spots two other newcomers to the fray

And then there's you two, Captain Charisma himself and Dean Ambrose. Now I ain't ever met any of you two before but I've heard about ya enough to know that you got what it takes to win the Royal Rumble. That is if Shark Boy wasn't hell bent on winnin' the damn thing. Dean Ambrose, you've won the World Title what, four times?, more?, damn son that's impressive. But ya know what, havin' never won the big one, I can assure ya that Shark Boy is hungrier than you can imagine and knowin' yer reputation I'd say I'm still willin' to put more on the line in order to win this damn match. But I tell ya what, I'm lookin' forward to the brawl because everybody knows Shark Boy never turns down a fight. And as for you Captain Charisma, Christian?, well you've been around the blocks a few times and I'm sure you'll be around a few times more, just stay out of Shark Boy's way and you'll be just fine but get in the way?, then you'll just end up like everybody else... over the top rope and outta the damn match!.

The crowd cheer on Shark Boy even more as he continues, Shark Boy stops and grabs that second beer.

This is thirsty work.

Shark Boy once more downs the entire can before continuing.

And hell, the same goes for everybody. If ya wanna step up to the plate to go one on one with The Sharky One, yer more than welcome, there's nothin' I love more than a good brawl, but at the end of the day don't be bitchin' and carpin' when ya end up head over heels on the floor out of the match at the hands of Shark Boy. And it don't matter if I do respect ya, 'cos Shark Boy respects anyone who puts up a fight, and it don't matter if Shark Boy hates yer stinkin' guts, because at the end of the day this is every man for himself and when it's every man for himself in the Deep Blue Sea... it ain't the man that wins, it's the Shark!... and this Shark is ready to go take a bite out of everyone in the damn match and then sink his teeth into the main event of Wrestlemania before finally winnin' the big one and THAT'S THE FISHIN LIII-

Shark Boy is rudely interrupted.


​

 

[Cwalker]

Undertaker sits and waits patiently for someone to come out from the back. The crowd is going crazy in support of the deadman but that all changes when one thing hits.



The iconic ECW theme begins to play and the entire arena begins to collectively groan. It doesn't take long for the man who the music belongs to come out from the back. Paul Heyman stands on the stage, smirking confidently before power walking down the ramp, towards the ring.

Heyman reaches the bottom of the ramp before climbing the steel steps and entering the ring through the ropes. As Heyman enters the ring, he sees The Undertaker for the first time. Heyman doesn't react positively and walks gingerly towards the far side of the ring, being careful not to anger Big Evil. Heyman asks for a microphone and is handed one from the technician. Still being careful, Heyman walks far away from The Undertaker and begins his promo.

Paul Heyman: Ladies and Gentlmen, my name is Paul Heyman. And I am the business manager and personal advocate for your Undisputed Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion Matt Morgan. And as of today, my client, Matt Morgan, has been your reigning and defending Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion for twenty-nine days. As each day passes, my client becomes closer and closer to becoming the longest reigning Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion of all time. And when that day comes, it shall be a glorious day for not only Matt Morgan, but for all of you as well.​

​

Heyman: But what many of you forget is that the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion, Matt Morgan is not my only client. His partner in the tag team known as G.E.N.E is also my client. And on this evening, it is not Matt Morgan that I will be representing, it will be his tag team partner, Alex Riley.​

​

Whether it be Morgan or Riley, the UWF fans could care less. They continue to boo Heyman as he tries to speak once more.​

​

Heyman: And it is my job as not only a business manager but as a personal advocate to make sure that my clients are successful in their personal lives but in their professional lives as well. And as you all know, I have done that with Matt Morgan already. Now, it is time to turn my attention to Alex Riley. It is no secret that Alex has been overlooked by UWF management since the day we walked into this company. Alex Riley was supposed to be a star. Alex Riley was supposed to be the face of this company. All my client needed was an opportunity and he would have taken it and ran with it, but the suits sitting behind the desks and pushing papers have chosen not to give Alex Riley that opportunity. Instead, they'd rather give it to CM Punk, they'd rather give it to Christopher Daniels, they'd rather give it to The Undertaker....​

​

Paul Heyman turns his attention to The Undertaker, who doesn't look too happy.
Heyman: For over twenty years, you've beaten everyone that has crossed your path. Some of the biggest names in our industry's history have fallen at your feet. You have done it all in this business. World Championships, Royal Rumble victories, Five Star caliber matches, you name it, you've done it. And yet, despite all that success and the Hall of Fame resume, you're still searching for respect. Has it not entered your mind yet that the reason that you haven't received the respect that you desire is because in this day and age, you no longer deserve it. ​

​

That one comment lights a fire under The Undertaker. Seeing this, Heyman begins to explain himself.

Heyman: Hear me out. In your prime, you were great. A true star. But here's the thing about stars, eventually, they burn out. And you my friend are a star that burnt out many moons ago. And despite this, you still continue to carry yourself out to this ring. You're a shell of your former self. Gone is The Phenom, gone is the man who struck fear into every person who walked through that curtain's heart. And in his place is a leather clad, motorcycle riding, disgrace to a legacy. And because you have disgraced that legacy, I have personally lost respect for you. ​

​

Heyman: And it wasn't too long ago that you had an opportunity to regain that respect. For it was just a few short weeks ago on Smackdown that you had an opportunity go do what no man has been able to do and climb what has been dubbed as "Mount Morgan." And in that conquest, you, just like everyone else were put down by the boot of the Undisputed Ultimate Wrestling Federation Champion. And now, Mister Calloway, you have the distinct opportunity to fall to both members of G.E.N.E on separate occasions. Matt Morgan thought he disposed of you, but it's actually a good thing that he didn't. Because now it affords Alex Riley the one thing he has still not been given, an opportunity. It affords Alex Riley the opportunity to be the one that puts Ol' Yeller out of commission once and for all. And that will truly be best for business.

Heyman lowers his mic and smirks confidently. The Undertaker on the other hand isn't too pleased. He begins to stalk Heyman, backing him up into the corner. Just as Undertaker looks prepared to take out all of his anger and frustration on Heyman...



"Say It To My Face" by Downstait begins to play and out walks Alex Riley onto the stage. Undertaker turns his focus from Heyman and towards Riley as G.E.N.E's resident "Blue Chipper" hustles down the ramp and slides into the ramp, getting in between his manager and The Undertaker. Heyman pats Riley on the back, thanking him for the protection before handing his client his microphone.

"The Blue Chipper" Alex Riley: You know? As a kid, I used to idolize The Undertaker. I loved it all, the entrance, the smoke, the fear you put into all your opponents. I absolutely loved it all. But as I grew older, the worse thing that could ever happen did. The day came when the young kid came to realize that he is better than his Idol. And that's where we stand right now. I am better than you. I am a better athlete, I am a better wrestler, I am simply better. The only thing that you have gotten that I haven't is a chance. And all of that changes come The Royal Rumble.

Riley: Because in this match, I am going to be given everything that I've asked for. I've asked for an opportunity and I am finally going to get it. Who knows what it could be? It could be the opportunity to be General Manager of Smackdown for a day, it could be a first class ticket to Tuesday Night RAW, it could even be a shot at the Ultimate Wrestling Federation Championship...

Heyman pats Riley on the back. The manager tells Riley "We've already got that one. We want the other one."

Riley: Either way, I will embrace that opportunity and I will walk out of the Royal Rumble one step closer to getting what I want. I've had to watch guys like AJ Styles, Daniel Bryan and Steve Borden be given shots while I've been forced to sit on the sidelines. NOT ANY MORE! I don't care if I have to go through you or eight other men, it doesn't matter. I will leave the Royal Rumble with one of those briefcases and that briefcase will give G.E.N.E Undisputed power of the Ultimate Wrestling Federation. And there's nothing that you can do about it.

Riley: As a matter of fact, there's nothing that anyone in the back can do about it. I don't care if it's Test, Drew McIntyre, or anyone else in the back. 2014 will be the year of Alex Riley and if you don't believe me, I dare you to Say it To My Face!

Riley lowers his microphone and waits for someone to show up.
​

 

[CaptainxBumout]

Ethan Carter The Third
Hey up here buddy.

The crowd boos as EC3 and Fandango are shown on the titantron.

Fandango
Ugh can you believe this? Rags to Riches? Yeah maybe for all the other losers who are going to participate in this matchup but for us, it's rich to richer. We're already champions so why would we even bother potentially harming ourselves by fighting in this matchup. We already hold the most prestigious titles so we don't need this matchup but the simple fact of the matter is, we want it. And what we want, we get. There's just one question on everyone's minds. Which one of us will be competing in this match. Will it be Fandango or will it be EC3?

Fandango and EC3 both pause with their hands on their chins, reflecting in self thought.

Or maybe both of us. You see this match has more than one winner. Fandango and I are undefeated so competing against one another won't be a problem. As a matter of fact, it might be fun finally having some actual competition. Sorry Mr. Bad Ass but you just aren't what I would call a threat. We've dealt with your kind before. The big bad dude who thinks he can just beat everyone up. Actually, we're dealing with someone like that now. You're both just chihuahuas to us. All bark until someone shuts you up. And we're that someone.

You may be asking yourselves, why would Fandango and EC3 lower themselves to compete in a match with mouth breathing bottom feeders who deserve their lower spots on the card? Well it's simple really, one of us will more than likely get a shot at the UWF International Championship. The other can become general manager and make the Wrestlemania match everyone wants to see. Fandango vs EC3 for the biggest belt in all of UWF. With that kind of matchup, the higher ups would be stupid to not let it main event. I don't care who wins the rumble, no one grabs the attention of others quite like us.

Fandango and EC3 both smirk before laughing.

Our mere presence demands attention. Just us talking about this matchup will be all over TMZ tonight. We all know Morgan will beat MVP because MVP is just a big mouth who pretends to have money when actually if he did have money, we wouldn't come out looking like he does. So Undertaker vs Matt Morgan? Please, no one wants to see that. Can you even imagine the segments leading up to that match? Everyone in the arena would be cutting their ears off. That's why we're not down there right now. Why should we be? Everyone else in this match doesn't deserve to be in our presence. No instead we'll stay here and have our own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000 and make fun of all your little speeches when you finally think of something to say.

Fandango chuckles to himself before speaking up once again.

Yes take all the time you need. Go out there and make a fool of yourself by trying to run down how glorious my dancing is. Try and make fun of Ethan for siding with family like a real man. Try and tell him how he's just a sidekick to me when it's been proven that we both cannot be defeated. If you were all smart, you'd just avoid speaking to us. During the match, step aside and let us go our own way while the rest of you fight for the other two briefcases. But no, you're going to come out here and call me a dancing fool or whatever unoriginal things you have to say and try and call out everyone. We on the other hand, we don't have to belittle each if you individually because none of you are individuals. I can just make generalized statements about anyone and still be right. You're all so cut and paste with the same talking points while we are masters of the art of the microphone. We know entertainment and we know just how glorious we are. None of you can hold a candle to us and none of you deserve to speak to us.

From now on we shall be known as Greek Adonis versions of Voldemort. You shall not speak of us except when groviling at our feet when worshipping us. So do as Fandango says. Step aside. There is more than one winner. Why put your careers in jeopardy and try and fight us? Imagine winning. Your name would be right next to us in the history books. Of course you'll be forgotten in time but for a year or two you can say you won a match with us!

That is of course, except for you Undertaker. You've gone and already made it on our bad side. We don't care how big and bad you are. Your time is up before it even begins. You flip flop and come and go as you please. Let us give you some much needed time off to reevaluate your stature in this company. And to everyone else, don't worry. We'll be doing this after we grab our briefcases.

The World Tag Team Champions laugh once again as the arena is booing them loudly.

Now we know what most of you are thinking. Upper management won't let a team into this matchup. Well it just so happens that aunt Dixie is pretty close with quite a lot of people who run things behind the scenes here and let's just say she's more than guaranteed me a spot in this match.

So now we'll leave the rest of you to come out and bicker amongst yourselves. Ethan and I have an important WrestleMania match to promote. We'll see you at the Royal Rumble.

Ethan and Fandango smile before bringing up a remote control and turning off the feed to the titantron. ​

 

[Shawn Michaels]

HBK: I am going to now be honest about everything I say here on out. First of all, Natalya, you're father was one of the biggest disappointments in the history of this business. And I see the same in his little daughter for the man she chose to be with. Much like, Jim, you are just going to come up short on everything he failed to accomplish throughout his career and he'll forever live in the shadow as being second best in the tag team of him and Bret. Jim is known for being a tag team specialist and will never be a Hall of Famer because of it. And once again your family will fall short of anything more than being a second rated superstar at best when I beat your husband down at the Royal Rumble pay per view!

Natalya is disgusted by HBK

HBK: Everything your dad did tell you is right and that was the fact he was never good enough to escape, Bret. I mean I remember when, Hunter, Chyna, Ravishing Ric, and myself had just formed DX and it was a week after I screwed, Bret, that your dad came to me and Hunter and wanted to join forces with us. Yeah some, Hart member he truly was. He knew he could never live up to, Bret and wanted to use me as a way to show he could handle being in the business without him after he left for WCW. When it gets tough, the Hart's jump sides. Bret jumped to WCW and failed. And Jim, well we put him in his place and that was back to the curb where he belonged so that he could go back and tell his little girl, he wasn't man enough to hang with the big boys.

Kidd has to hold Natalya back as she is furious with HBK

HBK: Now I know what, Kidd, is going to say. You're going to say, how you can't believe the way I am talking out here. How I am this new born christian and I am such a disgrace. No, you know something, boy, I come out here about the way I want to business. I am not messing around anymore. If you think for one second that you're the man, than you need a reality check or rather kick to the jaw to wake your sorry booty up because when you look in the mirror, there is no gold that flashes around your waist or even on your shoulder. And if you say that, Natalya is your gold charm then again, I am sorry for you because that is like honestly winning the bronze medal at best.

The crowd laughs out loud while, Flair, just shakes his head with a smirk

HBK: This man right here is the reason your even standing here today. He is the reason I am standing here today. He paved the way for all of us who compete in professional wrestling. It wasn't the Hart family that helped pave the way for you because at the end of the day, Stampede Wrestling could never was simple put the rookie level. Guys like the Nature Boy, Ric Flair, worked his ass off to make ends meat and then eventually became the greatest to ever lace up the boots in our business. And you want to stand there and disrespect him. You are in fact a jack ass for that. And I know you could care less. You could care less much like, James Storm could care less. Just like, Chris Masters. Just like, Damien Sandow and the list goes on. That's why you'll never make past being just some guy who got himself a World Title shot and then never lived up to it afterwords. No one remembers the loser if they don't win the title. At the Royal Rumble, this ends between us and it ends with me super kicking you all the way back to Stampeded Wrestling!

Kidd isn't phased by HBK's words

HBK: They always ask for the old, HBK. But I am not that person anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't be. I don't gloat about being the best of all time. What I will gloat about is being better than you'll ever be. I even bet that you're not the best in your little family. I bet, Natalya really where's the pants with her manly physique. I said that there would be no excuses with my bad knee at Starrcade and there wasn't any from me. I didn't need, Steph to come down to the ring because I was going to make my way to the ropes. You just don't seem to understand that I have been in that hold before and your version of it, well it lacks in effort to say the least. Maybe ole, Bret, should give a few more pointers, or even your wife since you guys share the same moves. How original if you ask me. That's like The Miz, using the Nature Boy's figure four leg lock. Or James Storm trying to rip me off of my sweet chin music. Your just not in my league, boy. At the Rumble, I send you back to where you belong!

Flair takes the microphone from HBK



Ric Flair: To disregard what, Shawn just said about me. I could care less if you respect me. That's your decision and you'll have to always live with it. But the fact that this never had to come to the four of us saying things that needed to be said, you could have just shown, Shawn, the respect. Back before Starrcade you came on out to this very ring and said he didn't need to be in the ring and that he wasn't the man and basically called him overrated. Tyson, you deserve what is coming to you at the Rumble. This man is the greatest to ever live and your going to find that out. I think the fear that you talk about so much is you dodging the fact that this time around, Shawn is going to be 100 percent and you won't be able to touch him. While your doing that, I am going to be working on something of my own if you catch my drift. Hey momma, you want to see what space mountain is all about? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Flair hands HBK the microphone as the crowd lets out a huge "WOOOO"


​

 

[Cwalker]

​

Christian: Because Shark Boy said so? I'm sorry, but Shark Boy isn't going to be saying anything of relevance any time soon. Because this match doesn't belong to you Shark Boy. It belongs to me. But you're right about one thing, the two of us haven't had any sort of interaction here in UWF and I'm sure that in any other time, place or fashion, it'd be an honor to stand in the ring with you, but come the Royal Rumble, the only honor I'm going to have is grabbing you by that ridiculous fin and throwing you over the top rope. You say you're ready for the big time Shark Boy, well so am I. And if there's anyone who knows what it's like to go from the unemployment line to the spotlight like I do, it's you. The only difference though is that, when I say I'm going to do something, I do. I've beaten RAW's Champions already. And in thirteen nights, I'm going to outlast twenty-nine other men and go one to beat whoever is Champion again; only this time, it'll be on the grandest stage of them all.

Christian then turns his attention from Shark Boy to AJ Styles.
​

Christian: You want to talk about redemption AJ? I am the embodiment of a Rags to Riches story. Everyone here has made it clear that I've been in and out of UWF many times over the past year and in that time, I've had little to no success. I've turned my back on my peeps and I've left them down all in the same breath. This Royal Rumble is the chance to put all of that behind me. I can never forget my failures, but I can move on from them. That's what this Royal Rumble is all about AJ. That's what the Main Event of WrestleMania is all about. It's not just about some selfish desire to be World Heavyweight Champion, it's not just about having One...More...Match. It's about battling back through all the adversity that has plagued me over the past year. And that battle is going to lead me past you AJ. It's going to lead me past everyone else in this ring and it's going to lead me and my peeps all the way to the World Heavyweight Championship. So I want you to hold onto this pipe dream of being UWF Champion because that's all it is; it's a pipe dream. Nothing more than something that you are unable of accomplishing. And when you wake up from that dream and you have absolutely nothing, you will have me to thank.

Christian then turns his attention towards the titantron.
​

Christian: And I don't need some form of divine intervention to tell me that. I don't need to go on a television show to state my claim as Rumble victory. I'm not D'von. I'm Captain Charisma and I do all my talking in this ring. I do my talking with my actions and I'll do my talking when I toss D'von over the top rope and show him that all the prayer in the world won't bring him salvation from The Instant Classic.

Christian then looks towards Chris Masters.
​

Christian: Chris, I could never look like a bigger fool than you do right now. You have this unreal perception that just because you're strong, that gives you the advantage. In case you haven't realized by your lack of success lately Masters, it's not always the strongest bull that wins the fights. Sometimes it's the smartest, although that won't be the case because we all know Damien Sandow isn't winning. But sometimes Chris, it's the toughest and the most resilient bull that wins. And you're looking at him. So all your muscles and all that strength is completely irrelevant, just like you career has been. You're nothing that I haven't seen a thousand times before Chris Masters. You're another big guy that couldn't make it in the bodybuilding world so you decided to give professional wrestling a try. That's where you made your first mistake, because then you entered my world. And now that you've got my attention, you've got no chance and no choice but to humble yourself as I grabbed you by your inflated pectorals and toss your over the top. Then you'll be the one looking up at your superior.

Christian looks away from The Masterpiece.

Christian: And of course, how could I forget Smackdown's resident psychopath, Mister Kennedy? Having listen to Kennedy speak, I've come to the realization that he is nothing more than a hypocrite. He comes out here and gives us all a history lesson about how he didn't show up to WrestleMania and how he won't let it happen again. Kennedy claims he wants the spotlight, that he needs the spotlight. Listen to me Ken Kennedy, a year ago, maybe you could have been something. Who knows what would have happened? All you had to do was show up, but you couldn't even do that. And now you think everything is going to be different? How? By doing the same exact thing over again? Do you want to know why you haven't been successful Ken Kennedy? It's because you give a half ass effort like this and expect everyone to be amazed by it. That's why you're nothing more than a curtain jerker. And if you expect to win the Royal Rumble by giving that same effort, then you're sadly mistaken. Because a guy like me is going to work too hard to lose it to someone as ungrateful as you. There are guys out here that I don't like who'd I rather see win it as opposed to someone who is a entitled as you are. And come the Rumble, it'll be my pleasure to send you over the top and back to the unemployment line where you belong.

And with that, Christian turns his attention to the man who is considered the "favorite" to win this, Dean Ambrose.
​

Christian: Hello Dean, nice to see you. Thank you for kindly reminding me about our last run in. Nice to see you haven't forgotten it. But know that I haven't forgotten it either. And I promise you that I'm not the same Christian that I was before; far from it. You have no idea how begin fired time after time after time can be a form of a wake up call. But of course, you wouldn't know anything about being fired, would you? Because you're Dean Ambrose. The man that can do no wrong. Week in and week out for over two years, you've shown up for everything. Every RAW, every Smackdown, every Pay-Per-View, you've been there. You're the odds on favorite to win the Royal Rumble, you're Randy Orton's favorite to win the Royal Rumble. And why? Because you're the face of the UWF? Four-time World Heavyweight Champion, Two-time Tag Team Champion, the man who won what is considered to be the greatest match in UWF history. You've done it all. Everything except win this match. And how poetic would it be if you did manage to win? You were World Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania last year and now you have the chance to challenge for what my say is "your title" again this year. But I won't let it happen. You are going to have to give it everything that you've got to beat me. You're going to have to reach a level that I don't think you have if you think you're going to be able to outlast me in this match. You've been the face of this company for far too long and it's time for a makeover. It's time for a brand new man to step up. And I am the man who is going to dethrone the Immortal Dean Ambrose.

Christian then turns his attention from Ambrose to Ambrose's greatest rival Daniel Bryan. The entire arena chants "YES" as these two stare at each other.
​

Christian: Of course, unless you think you're going to do it first. Because that'd be the story book ending that you're so desperately searching for, wouldn't it Bryan? Your entire time here in UWF, you've played second fiddle to Dean Ambrose, losing to him in the big matches. Being the "Marty Jannetty" over your tag team. All you want is to be the man who throws him over the top rope and supplant him as UWF's number one guy. But that's not going to happen. It's not going to happen because Daniel Bryan is not capable of being the being the number one guy. It's just not in your DNA. Even as World Heavyweight Champion, you were still backseat to Stephanie McMahon and her corporation and now that Captain Charisma has righted the ship, you'll continue to be nothing more than the second best. Your dream of going to WrestleMania and actually having an important match goes through me and I promise you, it's not going to happen. Poor little Bryan, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Christian chuckles as he turns his attention to Steve Borden.
​

Christian: And you of all people should know that feeling because for everything that you have done in your career, there is nobody who knows more about second best than you. You were second best in your tag team with Samoa Joe. You were second best in the Purveyors of Poison, you were second best to Umaga on several occasions. It's just who you are, in similar fashion to Daniel Bryan. But at least Bryan will own up to his failures like a man. The second you fail, you proclaim yourself to be someone different. I don't know if I'm going to be in the ring with Steve Borden come the Royal Rumble or if I'm going to be in the ring with The Joker, or maybe The Crow or maybe it'll be the Sting that was running around the NWA with the blond rat tail or maybe it'll be my personal favorite, Wolf Pack Sting who claimed he wasn't Steve Borden at all. Whoever it is, it doesn't matter, I'll throw each and every one of you over the top and the next morning, you'll have to look yourself in the mirror and the only person you'll have to blame is you. Because when that day comes, you'll have to come to terms with the fact that you're simply not good enough. You weren't good enough on Smackdown the first time around, you weren't good enough on NXT, you weren't good enough on Anarchy and you were so bad on RAW that they sent you back to Smackdown. Face it Steve, you haven't been good for a very long time. You're just the only one that hasn't realized it. But don't worry, come the Royal Rumble, I'll gladly enlighten you. And maybe then, Steve Borden will just fade away instead of trying to reinvent himself again in six months.

Christian then turns to the last man he hasn't addressed, Damien Sandow.
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Christian: And there's you. Yet again, another man who has reminded me how many times I've been hired and fired and rehired. Trust me, I get it. And you're right about one thing Sandow, I've constantly said it's "my time". I've said it so many times that it's become one of my catchphrases but here's the thing Damien; this time is indeed my time. I've turned my back on the fans, I've been embarrassed and I even aligned myself with John Lauranitis all to get to this point. This is what all that struggling has been for. To get to the Royal Rumble, to show the entire world how much I want it and to main event WrestleMania. And if I have to do all that by throwing you over the top rope, then so be it. But I promise you, that it'll be me, not you in that main event for the World Heavyweight Championship. You're Welcome.​