Re: UWF No Way Out: NXT World Title E.C. Match
[video=youtube;-Z8Sv1qPd58]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z8Sv1qPd58[/video]
Johnny Curtis's theme music hit and the crowd get on their feet for NXT's resident trio come walking out with mics already in hand. They stop on top of the stage as Curtis begins to speak.
Johnny Curtis
Jesus are you done kissing everyone's ass yet Rhino? Out all that brown nosing and you seem to have missed someone. I'm the only person who's ass smells like roses due to a special new cream I've been using and yet I didn't see you kissing my ass. Look I know I can be pretty intimidating what with my movie star rugged good looks and my powerful powerful stature. Look at you guys. You're completely lost in my eyes. How do you expect to beat a man you can't help but worship?
Maxine begins fiddling with Johnny's hair as she begins to speak.
Maxine
I know what it's like. I didn't care for Johnny at first but he just completely swept me off my feet. He's going to do the same to you except it won't be the good kind.
Derrick Bateman
I bet right about now they're realizing just what their getting into. You're not just fighting Johnny Curtis, you're fighting the entire world. If I could just ask everyone in the arena right now if they would lift their arms towards the skies and give me your energy.
Derrick Bateman lifts his hands towards the sky as Maxine holds the mic for him. Quite a few members of the crowd do the same.
Johnny doesn't need anyone help but we're going top give it to him because why the hell not! You see this fellas. All these people lifting their arms are giving me energy. Their spirits if you will. And when I choose to unleash this energy it will deliver the biggest bomb like you have never seen. A Spirit Bomb if you will. But instead of causing destruction, this bomb will give Johnny all the power he needs to topple all of you!
Oh sweet! I bet all those spirits will give me like eternal youth or something. None of you guys stand a chance. Some of you may have beaten Derrick or I or even both of us at the same time but that won't happen again. As a matter of fact, we'll beat you later this week Rhino.
Johnny starts to laugh to himself a bit before continuing on.
The man beast. I can definitely tell why they call you that. Although you've been looking less like a beast and more like just a fat animal. Hey when did the hippopotamus become classified as a beast?
Oh snap! Speed roast! Hey Bully Ray, I know you're not out here yet but your so ugly, you're family pictures hang themselves.
Austin Aries face is so dumb, he makes that guy from the Hunger Games facial hair look subtle.
Bully Ray is so fat, his favorite food is seconds.
Rhino is so charismatic, I almost noticed him standing in front of a brick wall.
Rhino looks like Shrek and Rosie O' Donnell had a baby and then punched it in the face.
Did you know Austin Aries is sponsored by Ed Hardy? Yeah he actually gets $500 every time he date rapes a girl.
Taz is so manly he makes Chaz Bono actually seem like a real man.
CM Punk is such a sucky champion, I’ve had paraplegic waiters who bring more to the table.
The crowd let’s out a loud “OHHHH”.
Are you guys done yet? It's time to get serious. We didn't get this match for nothing.
Don't take it too serious babe. You know how good I am. You've seen my super slick moves. These guys think all it takes as power and cunning. No you need to be entertaining. No gives a crap if all you do is go out there and fight. Or when you go out there and try to break the fourth wall. No these people would rather watch a dance contest than to see Taz come out here and talk about respect. That's where we come in. No we're not going to have a dance contest right now because I'd destroy everyone. Even Maxine.
Johnny gives a slight motion of his hips as a tease before continuing on.
Entertainment is what the people want. And I know Aries there thinks he's the most entertaining man on the planet. So much so that he has to make sure he talks the most out of everyone as if he's The Rock.
Derrick sighs to himself as he mumbles "Again with The Rock".
You are no Dwayne The Rock Johnson! When you start talking, all these people can think of is "Oh shut the hell up"! We get is Aries, you think you're better than everyone in NXT. You say the same damn thing every time you open your mouth. You keep thinking NXT is for rookies. Well guess what. It's not. I know Derrick and I are rookies, but I know what you really hate is the fact that as rookies, we've accomplished much more than you did as a rookie. Hell even in your prime you were at the top of the mountain and then when the going got tough, you quit. More like the greatest quitter who ever lived. I can't wait to hear what excuses you make after you lose this match. If you want a good excuse, just tell everyone that you were no match for Johnny Curtis and they'll believe you. And did I hear you say I had greasy hair? I use horse products to maintain my glorious mane. Not all of us have to cut our hair short because of a receding hairline.
The crowd laughs as Curtis and friends finally start to make their way down to the ring.
And would you look at this, CM Punk deciding to do a 180 and suddenly go against JBL. I guess you got what you needed out of them and now you turned your back on them. You're not a real man. As if people couldn't already tell by your pitiful physique. You were going to the bottom of the roster fast via powerbomb through a table before you joined up with them. I can tell you knew you were going nowhere so you needed some help to get back to where you were. Then you just leave them by the wayside once you get what you want. I would never abandon my friends. Together we've become UWF's greatest trio ever. Even better than YES!
The crowd cheers for Curtis's dismissal of YES.
I’ve got all the tools to become the new UWF Champion. Punk may have the following, Rhino may have the power, Taz may have the experience, Bully Ray may have the edginess and Aries may have the…. Uhh I don’t know, assholiness but all of them combined couldn’t amount to me. I am the greatest-
Johnny Curtis gets cut off mid sentence.
OOC: Sorry for the random roast in the middle. I did one for a friend this weekend and didn't get to use all the jokes I had planned so I worked some in here. Good luck everyone.