Well, I'm back in England now, I've lived in America for the last 7 years but now I'm back to try and enjoy the last few weeks/ months my mother will be with us. She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer about 2 weeks ago and she doesn't even know if she will bother with treatment as it's so advanced and she just wants to enjoy the rest of her time. She's in her mid 50s.
Obviously I'm pretty shocked and still quite angry at the misdiagnosis that caused this but I'm just trying to be positive for her. I can't imagine the sadness she must be going through. The one thing I'm clinging to (and she is too) is that she will be with her mother soon.
I'm personally just lost in a fucking mess of emotion all of which I'm keeping locked up inside. Barely sleeping now and have had to stop working too. My secondary focus is my dad who has never been alone really and is about to be thrown into that, especially when I return to the states which I plan to do. I haven't even begun to plan for all of that. One step at a time I guess.
I hesitated to post this as I don't want to over share and struggle to even talk to friends and other family members about it but given that you're all (technically) strangers I figured I could write all this down just to help me get it out of my system a little. So for me, that's what's up