I am very worried about my relationship right now. We have been long distance for a while, but he is acting weird. He won't answer certain questions I ask, normally about my medication or more intimate things. He insists nothing is wrong, but I am feel like something is seriously wrong.
But it could just be all in my head. Kevin and I both have serious psychological disorders. He has severe clinical depression and I have depression, OCD and schizotypal personality disorder. Kevin often cannot sleep and at one point was awake for 7 days straight.
The reason I am putting this here is because this could all be in my head. I mean, he is very affectionate. But it is weird how he ignores certain questions about certain subjects.
Maybe the long distance thing is making my depression and anxiety worse. With my personality disorder, it actually is the perfect relationship. But perhaps it isn't for him.
Again though, it can all be in my head. I spend all day thinking and thinking and thinking. I very often project feelings on other people and I might be doing that here.
Does anyone else do that?
Yup, I am 100% right. I am projecting feelings onto him that he doesn't really feel. I have a bad issue doing this with people. We talked about it and it really all was in my head.
This is a cognitive distortion called mind reading. I assumed that I knew what Kevin was thinking and feeling based off limited information.
Now, he did avoid answering certain questions that I asked him which was really weird. So I assumed I knew why he was doing it. But the truth is that I was texting him and we were talking about misuse of controlled substances. He didn't answer my questions about how he felt about that because we were texting each other and he didn't want that information in a text message. It had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship.
Mind reading is something I noticed happens a lot and it often leads to fights, depression and things like that. So it is always best to try and do your best to not assume you know what someone else is thinking... until they tell you exactly what they are thinking.
I have done this with a few people on this site. I assume I know how they feel about me based on limited information and I am usually always wrong.
Kevin and I are completely fine and had a wonderful talk tonight.
If we try not to mind read, we may avoid a lot of unnecessary pain.