Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to UWF iMPACT. Up next is the debut of some new superstars on the Orange brand, John!
JBL: I haven't heard who it is but I'm always excited to see fresh faces here on iMPACT!
[video=youtube;oyHk5gY2JWg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyHk5gY2JWg[/video]
The crowd starts cheering as the debut of Ultimo Dragon in UWF is happeneing before their very eyes. The Japanese superstar then runs down the ramp and jumps into the ring.
Cole: Ultimo Dragon!
JBL: I've seen a lot of his matches from Japan and, let me tell you, this is a great pick-up for iMPACT.
As Ultimo enters the ring, the next theme song begins to play.
[video=youtube;o2U3NUhHyzs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2U3NUhHyzs[/video]
The cheers for Ultimo Dragon quickly turn into boos for Simon Dean. Simon strolls out from the back riding a segway. He then drives it down the ramp as the audience continues to shower him in boos.
JBL: Simon Dean? This clown got signed?!
Cole: The inventor of the Simon System, Simon Dean making his UWF debut here tonight!
Simon reaches the ring and he gets off his segway. He then walks up the steel steps and enters the ring. Ultimo Dragon and Simon Dean then circle the ring around each other until they are both interrupted by a familiar theme.
HERE COMES THE PAIN!
[video=youtube;YToXwtyqmjM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YToXwtyqmjM[/video]
Simon Dean and Ultimo Dragon both immediately look up at the entrance ramp as the music of Brock Lesnar begins to play.
Cole: Oh my God.....
JBL: It's the man who snapped Manik's neck in half and destroyed Chris Sabin at Bound For Glory!
After a few brief moments, "The Beast" himself emerges from the back, being accompanied to the ring by his manager Jim Cornette. Cornette has a microphone in his hand and he begins ranting, as he tends to do.
Jim Cornette: Oh no, no, no. We're not doing this. Before you go signing new talent, Joseph Park, you might want to make sure your highest paid employee is satisfied with his position and, news flash, he's not. And if my client isn't happy, I'm not happy and if I'm not happy, bad things tend to happen. You two dumbshits in the ring had better make up your minds. Are you going to be smart......or are you gonna be brave?
As Cornette finishes that line, he points toward the ring and Brock goers storming down the ramp, heading toward the ring.
Cole: John, this is not going to be pretty.
JBL: It never is when you're dealing with Brock Lesnar. The guy is an animal!
Brock reaches the ring and glares right at Ultimo Dragon who is standing his ground. Simon Dean, however, has decided to roll out of the ring. Lesnar then jumps onto the apron and lands feet first. He enters the ropes and Ultimo wastes no time attacking Brock with right hands. Brock, with one arm, shoves Dragon off of him. Lesnar enters the ring all the way and levels Ultimo Dragon with a clothesline.Lesnar then grabs Dragon off the mat and places him in powerbomb position. Brock lifts Dragon up and walks over to the ropes.
Cole: What is he thinking?
Lesnar then powerbombs Ultimo Dragon out of the ring and to the mat below. Dragon hits with a thud! As Lesnar finishes doing this, Simon Dean slides into the ring and starts clubbing Lesnar in the back. This has no effect on "The Beast" as he merely turns around and roars at Dean. He then grabs Simon by the throat with both hands and throws him over the top rope to the floor below.
JBL: Brock showing absolutely no mercy!
Cole: He's not even in this match!
JBL: It doesn't matter, Michael! Brock Lesnar does what he wants, when he wants.
Brock then exits the ring and grabs Simon Dean up. He places him on his shoulders and hits him with an F-5 onto the barricade! Lesnar picks Dean back up and hits yet another F-5 onto the barricade. Lesnar then grabs Ultimo Dragon's limp body off of the ground and places him on his shoulders. Lesnar then hits the F-5 onto Ultimo Dragon, this time sending him straight into the ring post on the outside!
Cole: That's enough!
Lesnar is still enraged as Cornette reaches the ring himself. He motions for Brock to re-enter the ring as Corny does so himself. Jim then raises his microphone back up and continues ranting.
Jim Cornette: Looks like they took the latter. You two idiots have no one to blame but yourselves for what just happened. We gave you plenty of time to do the right thing and clear the ring for a true superstar but you two just had to hang on tightly to your 15 minutes of fame. Well, time's up, guys and time's up to you, Joseph Park. My client has been here for weeks and not once has he been granted a title match. From where I'm from, that's a sign of disrespect. So, I tell you what, General Manager, Brock is going to the back and he's going to hurt and maim each and every jobber back there until you give us what we rightfully deserve!
Just as Jim lowers his microphone to expect Joseph Park to respond, instead there's nothing; not even a word to the frustration of Jim Cornette and Brock Lesnar, Cornette wraps up the segment.
Jim Cornette: If this the way you wanna play it Park, Lesnar will keep crippling your precious wrestlers till he gets the shot he rightly deserves, mark my words!
With that, Lesnar and Cornette taunt the Canadian Crowd before leaving, leaving the wrecked mangled jobbers in the middle of the ring.
iMPACT comes back from commercial break to reveal an iMPACT interviewer side by side with Hulk Hogan. The crowd cheers as the sight lights up the titantron.
iMPACT Interviewer: "Well Hulk, one week ago you were drafted from Anarchy to iMPACT. I know you only had a couple matches in Anarchy, so how do you feel about this early send off?"
Hulk Hogan: "Well you see brother, I'm not bummed about it at all. It would be different if I got traded, but since this draft affected everyone - it wasn't like I got singled out or anything dude. Back in Anarchy, I had two awesome matches with some awesome people. I simply whooped Perry Saturn's ass, and I came this close to defeating one of the finalists of the King of The Ring tournament. To be drafted over here just means I have to continue what I've been doing, and that means putting on a great show for my Hulkamaniacs, brother."
iMPACT Interviewer: "Now we know that tonight you go up against three other men for the Commonwealth Championship. What are your thoughts on that?"
Hulk Hogan: "I'm very honored to be given a title shot as soon as I step into the orange brand haha. I don't think they could have picked a better four men to represent that title. One of us is going to walk out there holding that belt around their waist - and it's going to be me dude. The three other men may be good choices, but if you are putting a commonwealth championship around someone's waist brother, how can that not be Hulk Hogan? When I walk out of those curtains tonight - just take a listen at the people who chant my name. Those are my Hulkamaniacs, and those Hulkamaniacs are hungry for some gold. I am going out there tonight brother, not just for me - but to win that gold for them."
iMPACT Interviewer: "Gotta love your determination Hulkster. Since joining iMPACT has it been a warm welcome for you? Have you made allies, any enemies yet?"
Hulk Hogan: "It's funny you ask that because it seems wherever Hulk Hogan goes, he's making friends and enemies man. I've seen people walking around here thinking they are the face of this company, they think they own the place, and they think they own Hulk Hogan, brother. On the other hand, I've met some people I think I will be very close with. I've met new, young, and old people of this business - and some might even surprise you brother. Hulk Hogan is always here for the superstars of this company, and he's always going to try and be a role model to keep this company afloat. Not only will I be here for the superstars, but I will always be here for my Hulkamaniacs, brother. Just remember bubs, to eat your vitamins and say your prayers, because Hulkamania..... we are the people!"
Hogan walks off towards the curtain to prepare for his next match. The interviewer looks baffled as he still had questions to ask Hulkster.
iMPACT Interviewer: "Well uh, I guess there you have it folks. Some brief thoughts on one of the biggest draft signings that iMPACT has brought over. Let's get back to the action."
[video=youtube;osaRUEB3aAk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osaRUEB3aAk&feature=youtu.be[/video]
The crowd boos as the familiar introduction hits the arena, Hassan and Daivari emerge through the curtain looking around the arena from one side to the other before he spits down on the ground. But instead of walking down the ramp Daivari and he separate moving to the sides of the ramp way, which cues Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger to come through, Swagger stops at the top of the ramp with a cold serious stare on his. Colter begins to make his way down the ramp and the three men follow behind him.
One by one they walk up to the ring apron and stepping into the ring, when it comes to Hassans turn to move up the steps he stops and raises his hands in the air as he looks up towards the heavens before he walks up the steps. All four men stand side by side as Colter getting a microphone.
Zeb Colter:
Allow me to begin the formal introductions, my name is Zeb Colter and the gentleman to my right is Muhammad Hassan with his associate Khosrow Daivari and to my left is a Real American whom you may remember as Jack Swagger. You may remember him from a little known company called CWA as he was their final World Champion, or you may remember his short cup of coffees in UCW, CWF, and even here in UWF. You may remember him as a former World heavyweight Champion, Former United States champion, former International Champion, a two time All-American, and yet I have to stand out here and remind you of all these things. Answer me this, how can a Real American like Jack Swagger be forgotten about, how can he be in and out of company after company without accomplishing his true potential, when on this very brand we have outsourced our Global Championship status to someone who can’t even speak English simply because he’s tall enough to draw a crowd around him like some carnival act. Tell me how this great man beside me has done nothing in UWF, while we have a Mexican who snuck across our borders with two of his quote “compadres†and captured the once sought after Intercontinental Championship?
The crowd boos the slander Zeb is producing.
It is the same reason the man to my right is judged and mistreated by everyone in our country, and that reason is they are all misguided people. For years now people have been sneaking across OUR borders and winning the general public’s heart simply because they seem different, they seem “exoticâ€, while Real Americans are overlooked and shoved away no matter how much more talented they are. That is why Jack hasn’t been seen in so long, that is why Muhammad is mistreated and attacked; for America has lost its way…it’s gone from the land of the free and the home of the brave to a desert of despair and home to whoever makes their way into our country. Well I for one am tired of seeing un-American, non-English speaking, foreigners coming into OUR country and getting top billing over Real Americans. But I know that this is all falling on deaf ears, because tonight we’re broadcasting from our neighbor to the north. I neighbor in position only, because I can’t seem to remember the last time Canada has done anything for America. All I know about Canada is it’s filled with uninteresting, uncivilized, French loving, maple syrup chugging, self-entitled hypocrites. A country whose lazy and moronic oversight lead to men like Muhammad Hassan to be blamed for something that wasn’t their fault.
The audience is booing loudly, trying to get Zeb to shut up by making it hard for him to talk over them but Zeb seems determined to keep speaking.
And I know what you all are asking, you’re all wondering why Swagger and I have chosen to align ourselves with Muhammad Hassan…A man who people associate with hating the once great country of ours, a man who people discard as an Arab and leave out that last bit. The reasoning is simple, for Mr. Hassan here was the Last True Patriot in UWF. Unlike most of the people in America, This man didn’t sneak across the border like a common criminal, he was born in America. Yet he is grouped together with other unwanted immigrants by the racism and blind prejudice that make up the American people, and yet he never gave up on his Country. He kept fighting for his dream, his American Dream, and it is because of that hope that we joined this True Patriot in his struggle on Impact.
Zeb hands the microphone to Hassan.
Muhammad Hassan:
Thank you Mr. Colter, Thank you for seeing something everyone else chooses to ignore. I am honored to be here with you all, because I know that you speak nothing but the truth just like I have for years. No longer will people disrespect me, no longer will people look down on me as a second-class citizen for now their eyes will be open towards not only the fact that I am fat greater than any of them, but towards themselves and the people around him, the people who should be looked down upon, the people who should be booted out of MY country. And that is not only the people who snuck across the borders and asked for handouts, it is the same so called American people who choose to ignore that sin and yet show their bigotry and hate towards a Real American simply because of his Heritage…
Hassan hands the microphone to Swagger, Jack looks down at the mic taking a breath as if getting ready to talk for the first time in a long while.
Jack Swagger:
My Name…is Jack Swagger, and for years I wondered why I could prove to be the best inside this ring…and yet still be overlooked. For years I wonder how I can be as strong as the greatest big men, as fast as the greatest small guys, as athletic as the greatest athletes and be a better technical wrestler than the people who gave that word meaning…How Jack Swagger could prove to be the best thing of every great superstar rolled into one and still not get his…and that is when I met Mr. Colter, that is when I learned the truth behind my misfortune. And that is when I decided to become the solution to that problem, and fulfill the potential I always had, and help Hassan do the same. Every American had their chance, now it’s time to end their mistakes and bring about Our America.
Swagger hands microphone over to Colter.
Zeb Colter:
We aren’t here to be corporate or an establishment, we are not targeting the Tag Team Champions, we are individual people joining together to bring back an America that I once feared was gone forever. These two men are your future, and together we are going to accomplish what we’ve been denied by the short sightedness of the general public. And anyone who dare oppose us, will be dealt with accordingly…We will not fail, We Will not be denied…for We Are Real Americans…We
All four men slap their hands across their hearts and chant along with Colter
The People!
???: We the people? Really?
The fans cheer as CM Punk walks out onto the staging not looking that impressed with The Real Americans as he marches down the entrance ramp continuing to talk on the microphone.
CM Punk: Fine speech you four Xenophobes orchestrated there but you failed to impress me; I get how you kind of guys operate, you walk in packs trying to sell yourselves off as the only way to do things, well that just doesn't cut it for me. See I am the Straight-Edge Superstar, the Best in the World and I'm not intimidated by a bunch of misfits who are fighting for some over the top teaparty cause.
The fans are rallying behind the débutting CM Punk as he walks up the ring steps and into the ring, he's showing no fear as he finishes off.
CM Punk: So if you're quite done with little chanting and complaining, I'd like to have my match now?
The Real Americans look disgusted but also comply, feeling they'll get their revenge on CM Punk at some point as CM Punk removes his shirt, the bell is sounded three times for the match to begin.
Ding Ding Ding
The bell rings and the Real American Swagger and the Straight Edge Superstar Punk lock horns in the center of the ring with a collar to elbow tie up. The crowd watches as Punk throws Swagger into a headlock, but it only lasts a few moments before Swagger is able to shove Punk off into the ropes, but the former 3x World Champion comes flying back into the ring and drops Swagger with a shoulder block. Swagger shoots up to his feet and Punk is on him nailing him with a big right hand followed by a sharp kick to the ribs. Swagger falls back into the ropes where Punk grabs him and sends him shooting off of the ropes. Punk looks to connect with a back drop but leans over too early and Swagger is easily able to counter with a sharp kick to the chest. Punk shoots up holding his chest as Swagger goes off the ropes again looking to build some momentum, unfortunately for him, Punk recovers in just enough time to counter Swagger into a powerslam. The crowd explodes as the Straight Edge superstar goes for the cover.
1…
2…
Swagger kicks out!
Cole: And CM Punk wasting no time in showing that his time over on Smackdown was nothing more than a fluke by taking down Jack Swagger here in the early going.
JBL: Jack Swagger may have ring rust Michael, he hasn’t wrestled since Summerslam after all.
Punk stands up and begins motioning for Swagger to get to his feet. Hassan and Colter look on trying to coach Swagger who seems to be experiencing some ring rust. Swagger gets up and Punk immediately looks to finish it early by throwing Swagger onto his shoulders looking for the GTS. Swagger isn’t going to let that happen no way! He sends his elbow into the side of Punk’s head until Punk is forced to let him down. The crowd aren’t happy with that and as Punk turns he is blasted to the mat by a short arm clothesline from Swagger. Punk is a warrior however and shoots right back up, right where Swagger wanted him as he grabs him and sends him right back to the mat with a backbreaker. Swagger immediately goes for the cover.
1…
2…
3 No!
CM Punk kicks out.
JBL: What a great backbreaker from the Oklahoman. Jack Swagger knows how to wrestle and it is going to make him a big success here in the UWF!
Cole: That is if he can capitalize on all of the chances he gets JBL!
Swagger pauses a moment to listen to instructions from Hassan and Zeb before picking up Punk. Once on his feet Punk is nailed with a big right hand that spins him around. Swagger uses the opportunity to come down with a clubbing blow from his forearms to knock Punk to his knees. Punk is holding onto the ropes now looking to get himself back up to his feet, but Swagger is in control of this match up now and grabs the second rope and placing his knee on the upper back of Punk begins choking the former International Champion!
Cole: A blatant choke from the Real American All American Jack Swagger. I’m surprised the official doesn’t disqualify him right there!
JBL: There is a count of 5 for a reason Cole, and right now Jack is using every second to his advantage.
The fans are letting Swagger hear it now as he gets off of Punk at the very last moment before he is disqualified. Punk begins coughing as air comes back to his lungs and he falls to the mat holding his neck. Swagger sees blood in the water and immediately grabs the foot of Punk and begins dragging him back to the center of the ring where he hopes to apply the ankle lock. Punk thankfully has it well scouted and kicks him off and Swagger takes a bump. Punk shoots to his feet just as Swagger gets to his and Punk uses his athleticism to take Swagger down to the mat with a headlock takedown. Punk decides to hold on to the headlock forcing the match to slow for him to recover.
Cole: And now CM Punk, hoping to slow down the pace of this match just a bit and wear down Swagger, and possibly recover some energy as he does.
JBL: This is smart wrestling on behalf of CM Punk. Swagger can’t do much if his back is on the mat.
Punk holds it for as long as he can before Swagger is able to force Punk back to his feet, Swagger nails Punk in the gut with a big right hand and forces Punk to let go of the hold. Swagger grabs Punk and looks for a headlock of his own, but Punk doesn’t fall for that and quickly counters by grabbing Swagger’s arm and wrenching it behind his back. Swagger, having old school wrestling experience has the ring presence to counter by twisting and dropping and performing a leg take down. Once on the ground Punk finds himself in trouble as Swagger grabs the leg looking again to apply to ankle lock, but this time Punk has the ring presence to reach out and grab the ropes saving himself from the deadly hold. Swagger is pissed but the crowd loves it.
Cole: What a great set of back and forth action from both men, showing neither man is incapable of wrestling here, but CM Punk should definitely consider himself fortunate it didn’t end badly there.
JBL: Swagger has got to get over it quick before he makes a mistake that will cost him, Michael.
Punk manages to pull himself to his feet on the apron having attempted to escape the fury of Swagger. Swagger however looks to knock Punk off of the apron as he charges like a bull, but the former International Champion manages to reach up and nail Swagger in the side of the head with a kick! Swagger goes stumbling away from the scene of the crime and Punk leaps up onto the top rope and when Swagger turns Punk leaps off and connects with a clothesline that drops Swagger to the mat. The crowd explode as CM Punk gets up and he is fired up big time. Swagger goes to the corner in hopes of clearing the cobwebs, but it is a big mistake as Punk comes flying from out of nowhere and connects with a hard high knee right to Swagger’s face. Punk remains on top of his opponent before wrapping his arms around Swagger’s head and driving him to the mat with a furious bulldog.
JBL: Oh man, this is not where Swagger wanted to be at all, this is where the former International Champion is most dangerous!
Cole: These fans know what is coming next, and they can’t wait for it!
Punk begins motioning for the Go to Sleep, with his taunting pose of him sleeping on his hands. The crowd are going nuts as CM Punk is looking to capitalize on his very first episode of iMPACT. Punk begins to wait impatiently as Swagger gets to his feet and once he does Punk lifts him up onto his shoulders. The stadium is on the verge of exploding when suddenly Muhammed Hassan comes into the ring and kicks Punk deliberately right in the gut. The impact takes all the wind right out of Punk’s sails. Hassan isn’t done there as he grabs Punk and with brutal force behind it, sends the former World Champion to the mat with the Complete Shot! The official meanwhile has called for the end of the match.
Here is your Winner as a Result of a Disqualification: CM Punk
Cole: Well if this isn’t a damn shame I don’t know what is! CM Punk was on the verge of picking up a huge win in his first match and that damn Muhammed Hassan had to interfere.
JBL: Hassan is just being a good partner, Michael! He’s got Swagger’s back and that is exactly what we are witnessing here.
Hassan continues to kick and beat on Punk until Swagger comes in and eventually joins him. The crowd is booing loudly now as there appears to be no end in sight of the beatdown the Real Americans are unleashing on Punk. All hope does appear to be lost when…
[video=youtube;VnNBG3emNfI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=VnNBG3emNfI[/video]
The music of Hulk Hogan plays and the entire crowd explodes into cheers and a massive ovation for the Legend and Icon of the Wrestling Business. Out he comes in his yellow and red and is making a beeline for the ring.
Cole: Alright! Here we go! The Real Americans are about to find out what a REAL AMERICAN is really truly all about.
Hogan slides into the ring ready to fight but as he enters the ring Hassan and Swagger get the hell out of dodge causing the crowd to boo loudly that they are such cowards. Hogan looks at them and shakes his head. Suddenly Hogan bounces off the ropes and comes towards Punk and before the eyes of the sold out capacity crowd, Hulk Hogan drops a leg drop onto CM Punk!
Cole: What the hell? Hulk Hogan just hit the legendary leg drop on CM Punk! Why Hogan Why?
The answer becomes obvious in a moment as Swagger, Hassan, Colter, and even Daviari are clapping and smiling and laughing. They enter the ring as if they own it, and immediately Zeb Colter goes up to Hulk Hogan and gives the Hulkster a hug. The crowd begins to boo loudly.
JBL: Well I’ll be damned Cole, you were right. Hulk Hogan really is a TRUE Real American! And I think the entire wrestling industry just got put on notice, I know the iMPACT roster just did.
After embracing and shaking hands with each of the members of the Real Americans, the Hulkster lines them all up and together on his count put their hands on their hearts. Hogan begins. “WE THE PEOPLE!†It is followed by the rest of them repeating, “We the People!†They all say it together one more time, each time the crowd getting louder and louder with hatred and boos. “Now that’s what I’m talking about brothers!†Hogan nods and slaps hands with each member before standing in the middle of the ring and raising their hands in the air for all the world to see. The Real Americans have become a force on iMPACT as UWF iMPACT continues elsewhere.
As iMPACT continues, the camera pans to a backstage area where Josh Matthews is standing
Josh:
I'm Josh Matthews with one of iMPACTS newest talents walking down the hall at this moment.
Joey Ryan along with Tyler Reks stop as Josh Matthews begins to speak
Josh:
Joey, may I have a few words with you real quick?
Joey sighs
Joey:
Lay it on me.
Josh:
Ok, how do you feel that before even debuting on Smackdown, you got drafted to iMPACT instead?
Joey:
Well to be honest, it kind of pisses me off. I guess the management didn't like my reaction at Bound For Glory when I seen Joseph Parks locker room. To be honest I think that guy is a joke and I told them that when I talked to them. They wanted to know if I had personal problems with him. So they suddenly think that the solution to a problem is by putting me on a show ran by an idiot.
Josh:
I don't think you should be talking about the....
Joey cuts him off
Joey:
About the big fat lawyer that you call our General Manager? I will talk about him all I want because I am already under contract. I am an employee and besides he's not here. I can sleaze up these hallways all night long if I wanted to. He's probably in his office at the moment watching CSI or somethin. He wouldn't know the first thing about managing a wrestling show. He's just in it for the money. Unlike me I am in it for the glory. I am in it for the wrestling. I would do a hell of a lot better as a manager then he would. I would make decisions like, Joey Ryan the Global Champion. Mickie James, my personal manager. I would fire Austin Aries for failing to represent iMPACT successfully in the King Of The Ring Tournament. And my final decision would be to rename the show to Thursday Night Sleazedown. Now that's some money makin decisions right there.
Now I have a very hot date at the coffee shop down the street and I do not want to be late. So Tyler you can finish up this interview.....Oh and Josh, you're hair is kind of sticking up. Let me fix that.
With that, Joey scoops some baby oil off of his hairy chest and rubs it into Josh Matthews hair. Josh cringes in disgust
Joey:
There you go. Now Tyler, don't speak too much.
The camera turns to Tyler as Joey walks away. Josh then begins to speak in a sort of professional way as baby oil drips from his hair
Josh:
Actually....I....I would like to know a little more about why you're here Tyler. We were already told that you are Joey.....Ryan's bodyguard but why? Do you get paid?
Tyler stares at Josh as Josh puts the mic to his mouth
Tyler:
.............
Josh:
........Thanks for your time.
Tyler then nods as he walks off camera in the direction that Joey went