Just gonna take a few shots and start this shit

[Deezy]

2 Cold Scorpio would've busted up Kenny's face even more if he tried shooting on him.

 

[Chris]

Event: UFC 116 - Lesnar vs. Carwin
Date: July 3, 2010
Venue: MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 12,740
Commentators: Joe Rogan & Mike Goldberg

UFC Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar, Interim: Shane Carwin
UFC Light Heavyweight Champion: Mauricio Rua
UFC Middleweight Champion: Anderson Silva
UFC Welterweight Champion: Georges St-Pierre
UFC Lightweight Champion: Frankie Edgar

Opening video package highlights the Leben/Akiyama match and of course Carwin/BROCK! Super excited to watch this again bc this was really when I started fucking with UFC heavy instead of just a show every now and then and LOL I kinda just realized when Brock left I stopped but I never really associated my interest in it with him even though it clearly was. Also just FYI I’m only making a note of any pre-fight video package or post-fight interview if they’re something different than just the basic shit since this is actually a real sport.

Lightweight Bout: George Sotiropoulos vs Kurt Pellegrino
Both guys are super active to start on their feet until Sotiropoulos catches Pellegrino with a shot to take him down, and Pellegrino looks to be in trouble but gets back to his feet nicely. Sotiropoulos lands a few more solid shots that really hurt Pellegrino but he’s able to land a desperation takedown. Sotiropoulos recovers easy though and just keeps owning him on the stand-up though Pellegrino has a few nice shots too. Pellegrino gets another takedown but Sotiropoulos instantly triangles him so you really can’t point Pellegrino for it, and that’s how round one ends. Pellegrino comes out in round two a lot better on the stand up but he gets taken down pretty early and we get a little chess match of switching positions. Sotiropoulos lands some sick elbows at one point but still can’t get out of half guard, but Pellegrino also can’t get up bc all his scrambles are stuffed as well. They finally end up back on their feet up against the cage, that gets a little boring but then they end the last 30 seconds with a solid strike exchange. I like that one round was entertaining stand-up and the other was entertaining ground work. Pellegrino has to know he lost those first two rounds but he doesn’t come out trying to finish at all and even gets rocked himself so he goes for another desperation takedown and lands it but then just gets peppered with elbow from the bottom that really fuck him up, Sotiropoulos is absurd when he’s in his guard. He ends up trapping Pellegrino with his legs which looks hilarious and I just know Pellegrino is fuming He’s able to get out and I thought he was gonna powerbomb Sotiropoulos for a second but no way he could get him up this late in the fight. They end up back on their feet as Pellegrino completely wasted his takedown, I’d still say Sotiropoulos won this round despite being on his back. The last 45 seconds is mostly Pellegrino against the cage not doing shit until he rocks Sotiropoulos with a knee that rocks him but he can’t do shit bc the round ends He may have won that round but it doesn’t mean shit bc Sotiropoulos owned the first two. Judges score it 30-27, 30-27, and 29-28 so one guy probably gave him that last one. Fun opening fight though.

Light Heavyweight Bout: Krzysztof Soszynski vs Stephan Bonnar
This is a rematch from a few PPVs ago and they both come out swinging Soszynski hits some strong leg kicks but goes for them too many times so Bonnar catches one and just punches him straight in the face for the knockdown Soszynski fights out of that nicely though and they’re back up throwing more wild punches. Bonnar’s bleeding under his eye pretty bad but he doesn’t give a fuck and they’re both landing some nice shots. I can’t tell if Soszynski is bleeding too or if it’s Bonnar’s blood but they just keep going back and forth with these strikes, what a great first round. Bonnar gets rocked with like 30 seconds left in it but starts pushing forward to turn the advantage back to him They touch gloves after the rounds ends which is funny bc they didn’t to start the fight. They just come out swinging like crazy for the second round too, Bonnar is really taking a beating but always answers back like these dudes are just taking turns rocking each other. Bonnar ends up getting a takedown but that doesn’t last long and is just a breather for both guys until they’re back up and BONNAR MURDERS HIM WITH A KNEE Soszynski keeps trying to hold on and almost recovers but Bonnar won’t let up and eventually gets the TKO with punches. Great fucking fight

Welterweight Bout: Chris Lytle vs Matt Brown
Pretty even stand-up at first until they end up on the ground halfway through the first round and Brown locks in a pretty sweet choke that Joe Rogan was ready to call but it looked like he wasn’t strong enough to finish it bc that shit was in deep. Lytle fights out and lands some solid shots back on their feet bc Brown is tired now after the submission attempt, but Brown comes back and gets a glancing blow for a knockdown close to the end but Lytle almost gets an armbar in before the round ends. Lytle comes out super strong in round two and goes for a guillotine super early and then transitions into a triangle really nicely and then an armbar for the submission, those transitions were sweet af.

Middleweight Bout: Chris Leben vs Yoshihiro Akiyama
Leben doesn’t touch gloves and gets tripped 5 seconds into the fight He recovers and he starts pushing the stand-up, but both guys are pretty patient at the start. Akiyama accidentally kicks Leben low so that fucks up the pace a little and he gets taken down when they start back. Leben is really active on bottom, both guys go for a couple armbars but Akiyama’s is way closer to getting locked in. Leben fights back to his feet and lands some solid shots, but then gets tripped and taken down again right when the round ends to solidify Akiyama winning it. Leben starts out round 2 with a head kick but fuckin’ slips so he’s started both rounds falling on his ass Akiyama lands this nice spinning back fist but Leben comes back with some shots of his own and they both start throwing heavy hands and both guys rock each other They keep swinging but Leben wins it until he gets caught with another sweep and Akiyama ends up on top near the cage. Leben fights back up to the clinch and we get a little break in the action but they’re still staying active and breathing pretty heavily at this point. Leben starts hitting some HUGE shots around the last 30 seconds of the round and really rocks Akiyama before it ends, that one was close I’d give it to Leben though. The crowd has completely gotten behind Leben now and he’s owning it, third round they come at each other with the double glove clutch while both guys are grinning bc they’re fucking psychopaths that love getting hit in the face They continue coming at each other with strong strikes that Leben looked to be winning until Akiyama catches him with the straight right, leg trip combo for another takedown. Leben starts hitting him with double punches to the head from his back Leben is super active since he might be behind, but almost gets slammed right on his fucking head. The crowd starts chanting for Leben as he fights back to full guard and they both really land some solid shots from that position with Leben honestly killing him but Joe Rogan keeps talking about how the judges are def gonna give this to Akiyama for being on top which is probably true but then with 30 seconds HE GETS A TRIANGLE LOCKED ON AND AKIYAMA TAPS WITH 24 SECONDS LEFT IN THE FIGHT HOLY SHIT Leben definitely was about to lose that if it went to decision, fucking great fight. Also he stepped in as a replacement so this is his second win in two weeks.

Leben calls out Wanderlei Silva (who he replaced) and gives this amazing post-fight interview to a super hot crowd. Akiyama’s face is really fucking swollen and I really think most of it came from Leben being on bottom during that last round bc he wasn’t gonna hit him hard enough to cut him up but those elbows def did damage

Video package for Shane/Brock kinda basic ngl but I’m still HYPED!

UFC Heavyweight Championship: Brock Lesnar (c) vs Shane Carwin (ic)
IT’S TIME! Lesnar gets a quick takedown but Carwin fights up quick and lands some solid shots on the way, the crowd starts chanting huge for Carwin as he rocks Lesnar with an uppercut and goes for the kill, then HITS A HUGE KNEE to send Lesnar down and Carwin tries to finish but Lesnar survives even though he’s pouring blood now. Carwin finally has to take a break but is still landing some really hard shots that Lesnar is just eating. Lesnar finally scrambles up with a minute left in round one and both guys are ridiculously tired from Carwin trying to finish and Lesnar just eating those shots, plus we’re already in the longest fight of Carwin’s career LOL easy win by Carwin in that round. Fucking Carwin winks as Lesnar to start the next round and they high five and Lesnar is able to stick to his game plan this round, lands a solid right hand and then an easy takedown into half guard. Lesnar then effortlessly transitions to full mount and into an arm triangle that Carwin has to tap to BRO what a tale of two different rounds, Carwin was looking so purple right before he tapped but he’s gotta feel like he wasted that opportunity in the first round even though he couldn’t have done much else, shit maybe he should have aimed at Brock’s body instead of the head I guess.

I also just realized this is technically BORK’s last MMA win bc that Hunt fight got change to a no contest This show is fucking insane though, every fight delivered and we got some really nice finishes.

 

[Deezy]

This was my UFC....I knew who every fighter on the roster was, the fights delivered and they were at the apex in popularity.

 

[Chris]

Event: HardCORE Justice - The Last Stand
Date: August 8, 2010
Venue: Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida
Attendance: ~1,100
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Rob Van Dam
TNA World Tag Team Champions: The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin)
TNA X Division Champion: Douglas Williams
TNA Television Champion: AJ Styles
TNA Knockouts Champion: Madison Rayne
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Hamada & Taylor Wilde

Typical nostalgia video package plays, it’s whatever but holy fuck ECW has been completely beaten to death by this point, how many “last stands” are these fuckers gonna have? Also LOL at TNA replacing their own PPVs for a nostalgia show but at least it made the next iMPACT a solid show if I remember correctly since it was basically a TV PPV.

Taz gets introduced first and hypes up the show saying that the guys in the back have their work ethic from the 90s He says there’s been some haters calling ECW busch league only about violence but they actually revolutionized the business and that’s a SHOOT! “We were the little engine that could, and WE FRIGGIN DID!” He says they’re never going to get it though so they can just kiss his ass and does his “BEAT ME IF YOU CAN” and the crowd finishes it out with “survive if I let you.”

They have an old ECW ref for this first match and the ring announcer might have been too but I’ll be honest I don’t remember.

The F.B.I. (Guido Maritato, Tony Luke, & Tracy Smothers) (w/ Sal E. Graziano) vs Johnny Swinger, Kid Kash, & Simon Diamond)
So Tracy Smothers is Italian I guess. They have this weird blue light on the ring that’s giving me a headache already. Kash and Guido start which is appreciated since they’re like the only two in decent wrestling shape. It’s solid but only gets like a minute as Tenay starts explaining that legally they had to rename a lot of these guys which is why Luke’s shorts say “TM“ for Tony Mamaluke. Luke/Swinger is whatever and then fucking Smothers/Diamond come in and both announcer shit on Diamond for being FAT and Tenay once again has to explain that he’s been known as “Pat Kenny” the last few weeks on iMPACT and Smothers owns him with some terrible offense so Diamond gets a mic and they just let him cut a promo in the ring as the crowd chants “shut the fuck up” but he says that it’s obvious their team sucks bc of Kash and the FBI may have outwrestled them but they won’t out dance them so it’s time for an extreme dance off, bro fuck off. Swinger and Diamond do the WOAT dancing of all time while Kash says fuck this so he’s the MVP of the show so far. Smothers gets a mic and says MJ rolled over in his grave bc of that and the FBI take their turn until the heels attack them leaving Big Sal in the ring alone, I feel like this was mostly improvised. Sal takes down Swinger and Diamond while Kash again says fuck it and then everyone brawls outside of the ring so Kash uses the ref’s back to hit a dive to the outside Kash easily gonna be MVP at this rate. Kash/Luke & Guido have a pretty solid exchange bc they remember they’re wrestling. We get a tower of doom spot that gets “this is awesome” chants” and then the match breaks down with everyone involved, Kash hits this sick double underhook piledriver on Luke at one point, but Guido ends up pinning Diamond after an Unprettier. Everything that didn’t involve Kash fucking sucked but this was most definitely an ECW opener true to the original.

Mike Tenay talks about how he’d gladly have given Joey Styles his seat tonight if he was contractually able to appear but tonight it’s going to be Mike Tenay the fan bc he’s just here to appreciate ECW. Taz says he’s sure Joey would give Mike the stamp of approval. They then mention that Jerry Lynn suffered an injury so he can’t compete in the main event so now Rob Van Dam is going to take on Sabu, definitely not a bad replacement.

We get “Where are they now?” videos from Tod Gordon, “The Pitbull” Gary Wolfe, and The Blue Meanie. Gordon says he’s happy to say bye to everyone one final time. This Pitbull is driving shirtless in a car and says he’s sorry he couldn’t make the show and Meanie thanks Dixie Carter and TNA for putting this show on and he says hi to his “family” of ECW.

AJ Styles talks about the Dreamer/Sandman match where Dreamer keeps asking for more cane shots after he lost. I guess we’re gonna get these throughout the night too bc Angelina Love talks about how she didn’t get ECW in Toronto until 2000 and she loved it.

Al Snow is backstage yelling at Head to stop using “those three letters” bc they can’t afford to get sued anymore but he can’t help it if the fans chant them this company. Stevie Richards is here too and Snow starts shooting on WWE talking about how if they aren’t careful Richards is going to be walking around dressed as a woman or on A SECONDARY SHOW and then he asks Stevie if he knows a good therapist Snow is second in MVP behind Kash rn until he actually wrestles. Nova comes in and Snow tries to shit on him for the Simon Dean gimmick saying “where’s your scooter thing” but Nova replies “IDK at a warehouse in Stanford, or maybe in the toilet like where your career would be without Head.” BRUH Nova then says he found him and brings out some fake Blue Meanie lookalike and says it’s fine, just like how they recast people in TV shows Snow walks out saying “We’re so done” and Nova is like “Bro it’s pro wrestling” I can’t fucking handle this show anymore, I’m gonna take some jager shots and get back to this in a minute.

CW Anderson vs Too Cold Scorpio
They show this super busty thot dancing during Scorpio’s entrance so that’s a new peak for the show as Taz talks about how Scorpio broke his neck way back when. Scorpio is super over here like you’d expect and the match is just basic shit but somehow gets “this is wrestling” chants. Scorpio still looks solid but let me tell you CW Anderson ain’t no Ken Doane Nah he actually gets some really good strikes in but this definitely feels like a house show match that they’re just trying to get their shit in bc it only gets like 7 minutes and they fill it all with action at least. Scorpio is able to kick out of a Spinebuster and ends up winning with that Moonsault stomp that he broke Ken Doane’s face with, but this one lands clean.

Scorpio pulls Anderson into the ring and is like “best out of five, that’s one for me, you in?” and they shake on it WHAT did those other matches ever happen?

Madison Rayne remembers that ECW made hardcore wrestling and that there’s a lot of similarities to their roster today LOL Matt Morgan talks about how he was a bouncer in Jersey at a bar that ECW ran a show at, see that’s a real memory. Mr. Anderson talks about how wrestling used to be “PG” and “that Philadelphia based wrestling promotion” brought something different, I love that they aren’t even allowed to say ECW

TNA World Champion RVD is backstage and I’m assuming this is pre-recorded bc he’s hyping up a match with Jerry Lynn with Bill Alfonso. Oh wait RVD knows Lynn is hurt and says he gave his new opponent a lot of serious thought when he chose Sabu bc he wanted to really pay tribute to the hardcore spirit. It’s been 45 minutes and we’ve gotten like 17 minutes of action bc of all these long ass backstage segments that don’t mean shit.

PJ Polaco vs Stevie Richards [w/ BW2.0 (Blue Tilly & Hollywood Nova)]
Polaco is Justin Credible and the crowd makes sure we know it, also he didn’t get an entrance. I’m also 99% sure this crowd thinks Tilly is the real Blue Meanie This has the same short, TV match feel as the last match, just basic stuff for the most part. They do brawl on the floor for a bit to make sure we remember that Philadelphia wrestling promotion. This crowd is so absurd bro, they’re chanting “holy shit” after every basic spot Richards starts making a comeback, it’s pretty sloppy but has the crowd behind it. Polaco is able to land a nice superkick coming off a springboard and then hit’s That’s Incredible, but breaks his own pin to fuck with Nova fucking dumbass. But wait this leads to the GOAT ending of all time bc Polaco is talking shit saying “That’s not just the best, that’s not just great, that’s JUSTIN CRE-” And then Stevie hits him with a Stevie Kick to get the win and prevent a lawsuit

Polaco attacks Stevie with a kendo stick after and his friends don’t even try to help but the lights go out and The Sandman shows up in the ring like Undertaker and wins a cane duel bro I’m just imagining Dixie asking how much it’ll cost to use “Enter Sandman”

Another where are they now video airs with Francine saying she couldn’t come bc she’s a mom now and brings her kid out.

Taz and Tenay lead us into a memorial of all the guys that have passed away.

Three-Way Dance: Al Snow vs Brother Runt vs Rhino
All three of these guys are super over and it’s just all out action bc they were smart and kept this one short too. Runt can’t bump around like he used to unfortunately but it’s still fun to watch Rhino throw him around. Runt tries to hit a dive on both men out of the ring but they catch him and ragdoll up up the ramp and then Snow has way too much offense on Rhino inside the ring before almost eliminating him with moonsault. They show members of the roster that got bumped off a PPV watching this match backstage as Runt comes back in but Rhino reverses an Acid Drop attempt and all three guys end up down. Runt again goes for an Acid Drop, this time on both guys but they just throw him out of the ring like nothing We get a ref bump even though ECW never fucked with DQs anyway but Snow hits Rhino with Head and Runt comes back with a steel chair but Snow catches him so he tries to do the Eddie flop trick but mistimes it so Snow flips him off and does the same thing so when the ref turns around all three guys are down This gets an “ECW” chant bc fuck this crowd and Runt hits an Acid Drop on Snow to eliminate him but turns right into a GORE so Rhino wins. Best match of the night so far, most definitely would not recommend though.

Mick Foley is backstage reading Hogan’s new book talking about being the special ref for Dreamer/Raven tonight so he just hypes up both guys like Mick does. He even brings up old history of him turning on Dreamer to join Raven bc of Raven’s mind control

Magnus remembers how the hardcore competitors knew how to raise the bar when it came to wrestling without a huge budget. Chris Sabin talks about how he was staying at a friends house one time when he turned on the TV to Terry Funk vs Sabu in that barbed wire ropes match that was fucking disgusting if you guys haven’t ever seen it and he was hooked ever since. Sabin says RVD was his favorite wrestler growing up and his best friend would pretend to be Sabu so this is really cool for him to watch.

Axl Rotten and “of course Kahoneys” come out and the announcers try so hard not to call them “The Hardcore Swinging Chair Freaks” or to mention “Balls” and Kahoneys gets a mic calling them the most extreme tag team in the history of wrestling but they weren’t given a match so they’re issuing an open challenge. “WELL WELL WELL” THE GOAT BROTHER GERTNER COMES OUT WEARING THIS RIDICULOUS FUR COAT Team 3D are out in their ECW tye dye along with him. “It is I, the bacon in her eggs, the man for whom she begs, and the face between her legs, the lyrical miracle, the sexual intellectual, and the quintessential stud muffin, JOEL LADY GAGA ADVOCATES CELIBACY WHAT AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE IF SHE WON’T LET ME STUFF HER MUFF THEN I’LL JUST POKER FACE!” smh he forgot to say his last name and the crowd goes nuts saying “THAT’S HARDCORE!” He calls Team 3D the most hardcore tag team in the history of the business and almost calls the The Dudley Boyz but Ray yells at him so he corrects himself to Team 3D Ray gets the mic and suggests this match becomes a South Philadelphia Street Fight...in Orlando.

South Philadelphia Street Fight: Axl Rotten & Kahoneys vs Team 3D (Brother Devon & Brother Ray) (w/ Joel Gertner)
Pretty shitty brawling to start until the weapons get involved but you can tell most of this was called on the fly the way they’re just waiting for cues. All four guys end up in the crowd hitting each other with anything they can find. I’m pretty sure Ray just made out with a fan but I can’t keep up with this shit. Back in the ring, they start filling it with weapons and Ray is all about this comedy bumping, but fuck everything Kahoneys ends up with a FUCKING LIGHTSABER AND DEVON HANDS ONE TO RAY They have this ridiculous lightsaber duel that Kahoneys wins until Ray comes back and hits him in the dick with it, they remember to wrestle and keep doing a bad job at it hitting like 4 neckbreakers in a row. All four guys get chairs as the crowd chants “we want tables we want fire” and the artists formerly known as the Swinging Chair Freaks win that exchange and they do some comedy spot with the ref that lets Team 3D comeback and they hit the WHATSUPPPP and then DEVON GET THE TABLES! They set one up in the middle of the ring and Gertner gives them some lighter fluid and they light it up and hit a double powerbomb on Kahoneys sending him through it for the win.

Ray gets on the mic again after and says everyone should agree now that Team 3D is the best tag team in the world but then GENERIC HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS and THE GANGSTAS come out to a huge pop with a shit ton of weapons. Ray comes at them with a lightsaber but gets hit in the head with a kitchen sink a few times and they just wreck Team 3D while obviously calling the next weapon spots out loud though. Gertner tries to get involved but eats a guitar shot but then they just stop and Team 3D stops selling and they all hug with the other two guys from last match too.

Raven is sitting in a corner backstage talking about his history with Dreamer that I don’t really care about bc this isn’t 1996. Wait I spoke too soon bc he brings up how Dreamer ended up marrying and having kids with Beulah and after 10 years this is his chance to get revenge Fuck Raven for still cutting good promos when he hasn’t been worth shit in the ring since the 90s.

Jesse Neal remembers watching some of that hardcore promotions PPVs and going to see them in Florida one time when he was 15 and that his friends still can’t believe to this day that Team 3D ended up training him. Kazarian talks about being trained by Killer Kowalski in 1998 and how he’d take them to shows and let them work with guys like Chris Candido, Lance Storm and Jerry Lynn, damn that’s cool shit. He calls the X-Division as coming from those guys along with RVD and such.

A lot of the old guys make videos for Joey Styles wishing he could have been here calling the show tonight bro the wrestling to nonsense ratio on this show is worse than fucking RAW.

Special Guest Referee Mick Foley: Raven vs Tommy Dreamer
Raven fucks with Beulah (I guess Theresa is her real name) during his entrance Foley tells them both he’s basically not enforcing any rules so Raven starts off with a punt to the dick. This is honestly worse than I expected and I didn’t expect much, it’s just an exhibition of basic ECW match spots for the most part. Raven is useless and Dreamer is fine but it’s not like he was ever that great in the first place if we’re being honest. Dreamer gets busted open earlier right in front of his wife and Dixie Carter so Dixie sends them to the back smh those kids can’t even watch their dad? It’s actually a pretty nasty gash nvm maybe that was a good decision by Dixie. Some fan hands Dreamer a sign that says “Tommy please use my sign” but oh surprise it’s a street sign instead and Raven is busted open now too. I hate the obvious stalling some of this brawling bc you know they’re just waiting for the next weapon spot and they’re not really that good enough of spots anyway, the blood is the only notable things really. Dreamer is able to hit a Dreamer Driver but doesn’t even try for a pin bc we’re in nostalgia mode tonight UGH! So Dreamer gets some barbed wire after doing his little “ECW” dropkick spot and then locks on a fucking Crossface using the barbed wire HOLY FUCK but the fucking BWO...oh I mean BW2.0 come out and attack Foley right when Raven started to tap. Nova and this Blue Tilly guy attack Dreamer and Foley depriving me of a finish to this match. Dreamer takes them both out, but Raven catches him with the Even Flow DDT and Foley recovers to make the count so we get a nice near fall. Raven gets in Foley’s face and pushes him so Foley starts fighting Raven too and pulls out Mr. Socko but they can’t even call it by name Some random dude comes out and leg drops Dreamer that they just call “Raven’s lackey” and then name “Lupus” but IDEK if this was an actual Flock member tbh. Foley takes him out with a barbed wire wrapped Mandible Claw and an obvious fake blood packet explodes inside the sock Meanwhile, Raven has handcuffed Dreamer and threatens an unprotected chair shot but Beul-I mean Theresa comes back down the ramp to beg Raven not to but he says fuck it and kills Dreamer anyway and takes out Foley again but Theresa nails Raven with a low blow and Dreamer hits a handcuffed DDT for what would have been a nice finish but Raven kicks out. Dreamer is still handcuffed so he gets caught with a DDT by Raven easily to end this clusterfuck of a match. Lol Dreamer like 1-151 against Raven all time.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with SoCal Val but The Gangstas come up talking about how JB is all grown up now from that young fan asking for autographs in Philly and then New Jack just says “sup lil white girl” and then “Once you go black...you get bad credit” and she goes to leave but he just fucking grabs her by the hair and tells Mustafa to take her and do whatever BRUH THIS BITCH GOT RAPED! Jack says that must make JB his bitch and JB says with the most straight face “I’m your bitch” THIS GODDAM COMPANY!

They send thank yous to Paul Heyman like they did to Joey Styles earlier.

This crowd gets so hyped to chant along to RVD’s shitty TNA theme song Bill Alfonso comes out with RVD but he’s basically gonna be in both guys’ corners so he goes back up the ramp to come out with Sabu too what a pro. Some fan has a “Flair fears Franchise” sign in the crowd bro please leave the 90s.

Hardcore Match: Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso) vs Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso)
They play up all the nostalgia and shit before we really get going so they have to stop and taunt after every little exchange before Alfonso slides a chair into the middle of the ring and Sabu wins that fight and is able to hit all his chair offense and holy shit RVD is bumping around like crazy for him. Sabu is able to hit a big dive into the crowd and this match is already better than everything else tonight. RVD makes a comeback and starts hitting his signature stuff using the chair as well but the history comes into play and both guys go for the same spinning kick so Alfonso comes in the ring and gives both guys waters Both guys go out and get tables after the hydration break and have a fun little brawl outside the ring. Man I’m trying not to overrate this bc it’s not really great by any means but compared to every single other match tonight I can fuck with it, at least a lot more than I expected. Sabu makes a comeback this time and they’re still using that same chair for so many moves which is insane. Sabu’s bleeding from like his ear, probably got cut on the chair somehow but that doesn’t stop RVD from keeping up all the chair spots, shit I would have expected to get tired of these by now, chair still the GOAT wrestling weapon and these guys proving it. RVD finally sets up one of those tables for earlier but Sabu just throws the chair into his face some more, but can’t get the pin bc of a rope break and Taz makes fun of this ref so bad for finally enforcing a rule LOL This starts to drag a little after like the 10th chair assisted dropkick before Sabu hits this sick springboard tornado DDT onto a chair and then an Arabian Facecrusher for a two count. Sabu goes for another one this time through a table, but RVD is able to get out of the way and hit a Five Star Frog Splash for the win. That was fine, definitely wouldn’t recommend any of you guys to go watch it but I’d consider it to be the only match all night that delivered.

The announcers bring up that RVD has to defend his TNA title against Abyss on Thursday in a “Stairway to Janice” match bc they bumped that from a PPV Tune into SpikeTV on Thursday for The Whole F’n Show for actual TNA action, not that it’s much better anyway though. All the guys come out from the back and start drinking beer. Dreamer gets a mic and thanks Dixie Carter for allowing this to happen and Brother Ray carries her into the ring. Dreamer says that they set the bar tonight and it's up to the TNA guys to raise it next Fuck this show, fuck this company, and fuck nostalgia

 

[Deezy]

Lupus was Ravens lackey for like a month before he left for WCW....I only know him because I saw the match where Dreamer finally beat him and then Lawler almost literally burst his balls.

I did a review of this show back in 2010 that was so smarky and full of inside jokes, no one got it.

And Gangstas hugging Team 3D after beating the fuck out if each other was Blue and is going to force me to remind Bubba Ray about this whenever he tries to kayfabe his twitter again.

 

[Chris]

Lupus was Ravens lackey for like a month before he left for WCW....I only know him because I saw the match where Dreamer finally beat him and then Lawler almost literally burst his balls.

I did a review of this show back in 2010 that was so smarky and full of inside jokes, no one got it.

And Gangstas hugging Team 3D after beating the fuck out if each other was Blue and is going to force me to remind Bubba Ray about this whenever he tries to kayfabe his twitter again.

You're not wrong bc that Lupus existed but this dude was too young so I looked it up and apparently it was that creepy samuel shaw fuck that they sign a few years later

 

[Deezy]

You're not wrong bc that Lupus existed but this dude was too young so I looked it up and apparently it was that creepy samuel shaw fuck that they sign a few years later

Worse reunion ever.

 

[Chris]

I meant to do this after 2009 since that's an end of a decade but here are my rankings for GOAT and WOAT shows so far.

1. Destiny '05
2. Departure '04
3. Super J Cup '94
4. Open the Historic Gate '09
5. Super J Cup Second Stage '96
6. Glory By Honor V: Night 2 '06
7. Bridge of Dreams '95
8. In Your House 16: Canadian Stampede '97
9. UFC 116 '10
10. Man Up '07
11. SummerSlam '02
12. Dream Slam I '93
    
13. WrestleMarinpiad IV '92
14. Great American Bash '89
15. WrestleMania X-Seven '01
16. Final Conflict '03
17. Juicio Final '00
18. WrestleWar '91
19. WrestleMania XXIV '08
20. Heat Wave '98
21. Anarchy Rulz '99
22. Wrestling Summit '90

WOAT Shows

1. Heroes of Wrestling '99
2. Unleashed '01
3. Blackjack Brawl '94
   
4. Fall Brawl '98
5. Halloween Havoc '00
6. WrestleMania V '89
7. Halloween Havoc '92
8. Great American Bash '91
9. Victory Road '09
10. Souled Out '97
11. Uncensored '96
12. Fall Brawl '93
13. Hardcore Justice '10
14. Great American Bash '04
15. Clash of the Champions XII '90
16. December to Dismember '07
17. Backlash '03
18. King of the Ring '02
19. Great American Bash '05
20. Uncensored '95
21. Survivor Series '08
22. UFC 61 '06

 

[Chris]

Event: Victory Road - Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay the price.
Date: March 13, 2011
Venue: Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida
Attendance: ~1,100
Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Sting
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm & Robert Roode)
TNA X Division Champion: Kazarian
TNA Television Champion: Abyss
TNA Knockouts Champion: Madison Rayne
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Angelina Love & Winter

LOL this opening video package goes over this shitty Sting/Hogan feud that’s gone on way too long including Sting’s return a couple weeks ago where he beat Jeff Hardy super quick for another world title reign. This PPV is also hyped up as on the “ROAD TO LOCKDOWN” so that tells me it’s filler from the start.

Bully Ray is out for the first match and harrasses SoCal Val for a mic and says thank God for men like Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan, “Men who know how to take a wrestling company TO THE TOP” This original heel run before all the Aces & Eights nonsense Tommy Dreamer comes out and Ray just goes in on him saying “I’m surprised you showed up after i BROKE YOUR WIFE’S NECK” Ray says that this match is now falls count anywhere bc he’s tight with Hogan and Bischoff.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Bully Ray vs Tommy Dreamer
This is whatever, I know Bully improves in the ring during this run a bit too, but he’s still out of shape rn so we just get generic brawling for the most part. This feels like a continuation of the fucking ECW PPV tbh, Dreamer even gets a fucking stuffed Minion to use as a weapon UGH! Dreamer takes it into the crowd using whatever stuff he gets handed as weapons. Kudos to Tommy for starting a “TNA” chant instead of “ECW” at least. Ray comes back and at one point swings a kendo stick at SoCal Val screaming “move you bitch!” to get her to move so he can get a chair Dreamer ends up throwing a lot of weapons including a sex doll so Ray does a 69 spot. BRUH I just noticed Garrett Bischoff is the ref lmao Anyway Ray hits his maybe 2nd offensive move of the night with a superplex and drops an elbow on the sex toy out of anger Dreamer reverses a Bully Bomb and brings a table into play but can’t capitalize on it so Ray ends up in control but fuckin’ Garrett Bischoff calls a rope break in a falls count anywhere match WHAT fuckin’ nepotism bruh. Ray gets a mic and starts yelling at Dreamer while caning him and saying “this is for you Devon” but Team 3D’s music hits and fuckin’ Devon’s kids come down the ramp and one is in a neck brace bc of Bully Devon runs in from behind and he and Dreamer hit a 3D on Ray through the table allowing Dreamer to get the win and Devon has never looked so hyped for any of his tag team title wins tbh.

Taz and Tenay hype up the Sting/Hardy trainwreck that’s to come before sending it to Christy Hemme who’s backstage with The Beautiful People and Winter. She asks them about Winter helping out Velvet last week and Winter says it’s bc she obviously doesn’t have a problem with Velvet but Velvet hates her for some reason so Velvet gets pissed but Angelina walks away with Winter.

Rosita (Young Zelina ) and Sarita are out for the first title match of the night and Sarita gets a mic to say how tonight is a great night bc her and Rosita are walking out as Knockout Tag Champions bc Angelina and Winter aren’t focused bc of whatever kinky love triangle they have going on. She starts talking in Spanish which gets “USA” chants and then she says that Mexico is taking back what’s rightfully theirs tonight.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Angelina Love & Winter (c) vs Rosita & Sarita
This kinda blows, I don’t really get what’s supposed to be intimidating about Winter, lesbianism? They just have a pretty basic tag team match that last like 4 minutes so they have a lot of quick tags and random changes of momentum until Sarita takes forever to try and get the belts to use as a weapon so Angelina takes her out which distracts Earl Hebner and Winter so Rosita just stands there waiting to hit Winter for so long until Velvet runs down to make the save They do this horrible roll-up spot where Winter sits in a weak ass pin until Sarita rolls them over and Rosita wins with another weak ass pin.

Velvet and Winter argue as the announcers lead us into JEFF AND KAREN JARRETT’S HONEYMOON They’re at an amusement park which Jeff’s kids and Karen is pissed but Jeff is just ignoring her

Christy is backstage with Matt Morgan asking about Hernandez costing him his TNA world title shot after returning from Mexico and becoming a Mexican supremacist. Every time Morgan stutters I just think of his 05 Smackdown run and die, but this is actually a really solid promo, he keeps calling Hernandez “Sean” to show that it’s PERSONAL!

First Blood Match: Hernandez vs Matt Morgan
It’s like barely specified that this is a First Blood match and it fucking sucks, like way worse brawling than Dreamer/Ray from earlier, they basically work this like one shot to the head followed by stalling while the ref checks for blood and then another head shot after, rinse and repeat. Hernandez tries to stab him with a fucking stick at one point and then regresses to a back rake which would have been hilarious if that caused blood. Morgan starts to make a comeback with a discus clothesline and some fan throws a water bottle at his face after Hernandez starts setting up for his Carbon Footprint but some Mexican fan wearing a jersey grabs his foot before security tackles him Hernandez pulls out a chain, but Morgan blocks it and hits Hernandez with it but now there’s no ref to check on Hernandez bc Brian Hebner got knocked down bc of that fan apparently So Hernandez sprays fake blood on morgan right when referee Jackson James (AKA Garrett Bischoff) comes down and calls the match NEPOTISM! This one actually makes sense in kayfabe tho bc Morgan was feuding with Immortal but that booking

They show that Hernandez actually has a cut on his head, but the ref is just like my bad so Morgan flips him off and leaves

Christy is backstage with Generation Me who are competing against each other tonight in a 4-way match. Max (Matt) says that Jeremy (Nick) had a great idea that since it’s Max’s birthday, he walks out with the X Division title tonight and he’s gonna put it on top of his birthday cake and blow out that candle to welcome in a new year bc tonight starts GENERATION MAX! Jeremy actually says he’s okay with that and walks off, TNA really tried to break up the Bucks

JB is with X Division champion Kazarian who hypes up his history in Ultimate X matches and says that “Kazarian is just like Charlie Sheen: WINNING!” BRUH

Earlier today, Robbie E is trying to get some ice cream but Cookie is yelling at him to get “her” belt back in Ultimate X tonight and that it’s gonna be GTX, GYM...TAN..AND X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Bro so many outdated references that I know weren’t even relevant in 2011.

Ultimate X Match for the TNA X-Division Championship: Kazarian (c) vs Jeremy Buck vs Max Buck vs Robbie E (w/ Cookie)
I never really thought Ultimate X was that great of a gimmick, I always thought it was carried by the talent in the earlier X Division more than anything and this one is super limited by the Bucks not on a team and Robbie E in general. It’s your generic two in two out formula for the most part except sometimes Generation Me comes in to do some double teaming. Pretty much any Buck/Kazarian is fun, but most of the spots going for the belt just look super choreographed, they just make up for it with decent wrestling on the ground. They move the steps to the side instead of a corner of the ring bc of the scaffolding so Robbie almost breaks his leg when he gets sent out of the ring on top of them. Jeremy does this awesome moonsault spot to the outside of the ring but for some reason Max doesn’t go for the belt even though everyone is down bc he screams for Jeremy to help him. Gen Me’s double team really saves this match from the other dumb shit like Max being completely inept on the cables, but Kazarian hits this sweet cutter on him after swinging him off The crowd then starts a “TNA” chant after a basic ass Tower of Doom that didn’t even have all four guys involved Kazarian has this dramatic choice between going for the belt or hitting Back to the Future on Jeremy and he’s a face so he picks the latter, cool ass move tho. Gen Me have this dumb argument about who should win and end up both climbing up but ROBBIE E THE MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS BRINGS IN A LADDER BC NOTHING SAYS YOU CAN’T USE IT Gen Me get sent down as Robbie sets up the ladder while Kazarian starts to shimmy across from one corner to sneak over and take it out of Robbie’s hands to retain the title.

Back on the Jarrett’s honeymoon, Karen is steady bitching at these kids Jeff comes up with a second pizza and says they just have one more stop and they’re getting wet.

Christy is backstage with Beer Money and they put over their taunt they do after their little suplex move and get Christy to bend over to try it so they can watch her shake her ass before they enter serious mode and say how they’ve respected every team they’ve been in the ring with as champions, but Shannon Moore doesn’t know anything about respect. Storm says Moore is going to know exactly what respect is all about, but respect ain’t gonna save him from this ass whooping. Sorry about your damn luck!

TNA World Tag Team Championship: Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm & Robert Roode) vs Ink, Inc. (Jesse Neal & Shannon Moore)
Everyone’s a face here I guess, Moore is kinda playing a heel but maybe that’s just bc no one likes him like wtf is this “book of dilligaf” bro? Jesse Neal’s mohawk is fucking terrible, but this match really ain’t that bad. Beer Money have some solid rookie vs veteran exchanges with Neal that they keep kinda basic. They don’t really get anymore creative with Moore and his heel stuff feels really forced but everything’s fine for the most part, no terrible booking or blown spots so this is better than everything else so far. All four guys end up in the ring taking turns hitting bigger moves but they’re selling like this has been a 20 minute classic when it’s only been like 10 lol Beer Money hit their suplex and milk the shit out of their taunt HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHERE ROODE THOUGHT OF HIS GLORIOUS GIMMICK Ink Inc manage to have this sweet comeback with a really close two at one point but Moore is a fucking dumbass so he gets his book and chain and yells at Neal to pick Roode up even though the ref is watching them and Neal is like “we don’t win that way” but was about to do it anyway until STORM FUCKING KILLS HIM WITH A SUPERKICK Definite concussion from that one and then Beer Money hit the DWI on Moore to retain.

Beer Money show respect afterwards and pick Neal so he shakes their hands but meanwhile scumbag Moore takes a drink of Storm’s beer and comes and spits it in their faces Neal gets in his face and Moore is like “You need to harden up” LOL

Christy Hemme is backstage with Ric Flair and “Cold Blooded” Matt Hardy HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BRO FAT DREADLOCKS MATT WAS THE GREATEST

AJ Styles vs Matt Hardy (w/ Ric Flair)
I can fuck with this tbh Styles uses all his speed and technical stuff where Hardy has this generic brawling styles now. Flair gets involved early on giving Hardy an advantage until Styles is able to hit this sweet moonsault off the apron to the outside, bro AJ is really on his game tonight I bet he could have carried Jeff to a great match in the main event at this rate, but maybe that’s a step too far. But to further carry that point he does this FUCKING AWESOME spot where Hardy tries to send him into the rail but Styles SLIDES UNDER IT AND COMES UP TO HIT A PHENOMENAL FOREARM Flair ends up wrecking Styles with chops on the outside bc Earl Hebner is incompetent as a ref and just gets in a shoving match with Flair instead of sending him to the back. Hardy kinda starts working over the neck with this butterfly submission that looks awkward af, but at one point AJ is draped over the ropes so Flair just grabs him in the fucking nuts Hardy continues his basic ass offense and rest holds, it’s working well bc the crowd is so hot for Styles. He starts to make a comeback and they have this kinda indy-ish exchange that’s a lot of fun. Bro has Hardy ever once yelled “Twisto” before a Twist of Fate in his life other than this match bc that shit was hilarious Styles is able to reverse it and they continue with these counter exchanges and near falls. They kinda fuck up this moonsault spot but it was bc Flair jumped on the apron so you can play it off in kayfabe. Styles finally catches Flair with a pele but then Hardy hits this sick DDT on and then a goddam Moonsault for a close two count. Styles fights back and knows Hardy is too fat for a Styles Clash so he wins it with the Spiral Tap while Hebner holds back Flair from interfering to make the count Easily match of the night, calling that now bc I already know how the next two are.

After the match, Styles gets revenge with a low blow on Flair.

Back at the Jarrett’s honeymoon, Karen is still bitching that her honeymoon is a family vacation and Jeff says he does realize what’s missing and he misses him too, this fool is talking about Kurt Karen goes “you miss my ex-husband on our honeymoon?” Jeff says he’s gonna call for a truce on Thursday and begs for one more ride before they go back to the hotel. Then all the kids run up and they get soaked with water so Karen gets even more pissed.

Christy is backstage with Mr. Anderson who is facing RVD in a number one contenders match next. Anderson says boo hoo that Rob has been screwed over bc everyone has been screwed over by Immortal and makes sexual jokes about them screwing Dixie Carter. He says there’s a huge difference between being an asshole and being a douchebag because assholes always finish first.

Highlight video plays for this Anderson/RVD match which is for a shot at the TNA title at Lockdown and both of them have been screwed out of opportunities recently. RVD calls Anderson out on being an Austin clone Anderson’s “Pro wrestling is real, people are fake” shirt is underrated though. IDK why JB introduces Anderson when he does it himself anyway but whatever.

#1 Contender’s Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Mr. Anderson vs Rob Van Dam
Probably top 5 worst chemistry of all time tbh, the only stuff that’s fine is when they’re just going through the motions and hitting their signature shit, anytime they try and switch it up it looks awkward af. It’s a face vs face match, but Anderson is in his DGAF asshole face gimmick so he’s basically the heel and he’s better at talking shit than wrestling so that’s fun at least. RVD takes a nasty bump going for his rail leg drop where he hits his leg hard af on the leg so Anderson turns his attention to the leg for a bit until RVD starts to make a comeback and we get some more super awkward exchanges that look like they were trying to call in the ring and it didn’t work too well. RVD mostly sells his leg, but Anderson doesn’t even go for it anymore so it doesn’t matter since he’s doing stuff to the neck now. RVD ends up hitting a Cactus Clothesline so both guys get send to the floor. They end up on the ramp where Anderson hits the Mic Check and neither guy is able to make it to the ring before the 10 count so there’s no winner

The crowd starts chanting “restart the match” but half respond with “NO!” Both guys ask for 5 more minutes but Jackson James (AKA Garrett Bischoff) says sorry guys for his 3rd terrible decision of the night.

We get (thankfully) pre-recorded commented from Jeff Hardy talking about how he used to idolize Sting but no longer and tonight he’s going to bring Sting back to reality.

Highlight video plays of Sting’s career with TNA up until this point and his return to take down Immortal to stop Hulk Hogan.

Jeff Hardy is out first, takes a while after his music hits and he’s stumbling all the way down the ramp, shit is just sad but thankfully he’s got his shit together at the time of this writing. Eric Bischoff comes out after the official ring introductions to announce that this match is now no disqualifications which Hardy has supposedly prepared for but Sting didn’t Sting take out Bischoff.

No Disqualification Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Sting (c) vs Jeff Hardy
Yeah this is still a shit show but at least it’s short. Hardy fucks around with the crowd, teasing where he’s gonna throw his shirt and these fuckers eat it up. They lock up, Sting does one kick, two punches and a Scorpion Death drop for the win. What a joke.

Sting and Hardy both look pissed afterward and the GWN censored the crowd chanting “bullshit” but Sting still yells “I AGREE!” They replay this shitty ass PPV all the way through again like anyone cares to relive any of this show other than that nice spot where AJ slid under the rail.

 

[Chris]

Event: Money in the Bank
Date: July 17, 2011
Venue: Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 14,815
Commentators: Booker T, Jerry Lawler, & Michael Cole

WWE Champion: John Cena
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton
WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Nexus (David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Ezekiel Jackson
WWE United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler
WWE Divas Champion: Kelly Kelly

Awesome Punk/Cena video package plays highlighting Punk’s contract situation and Vince telling Cena he’s fired if he loses tonight. I remember being really hyped for this show live, not just for the Cena/Punk stuff which still holds up, but Smackdown had really been delivering all summer as well, shit was just going good going into this PPV. This commentary team of heel Cole, face King and Booker is one of the all time WOATs tho.

SmackDown Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Cody Rhodes vs Daniel Bryan vs Heath Slater vs Justin Gabriel vs Kane vs Sin Cara vs Sheamus vs Wade Barrett
Kane, Barrett, and Sheamus use their power early on for an advantage and the arena is still super smokey from the opening pyro but it kinda looks cool. The smaller guys are able to get their shit in too before the power guys come in and wreck them with the first ladder introduced, real good balance of styles. They really don’t use the ladders much at first, it’s a lot of cool multi-man spots though. Cara is able to hit a sweet top rope Spanish Fly on Bryan and is the only one standing but has to go get a ladder only to get stopped by Barrett who bridges the ladder between the ring and the Spanish announce table. Barrett can’t capitalize on it, but Sheamus comes at Cara with a Brogue Kick and then a crazy Crucifix Powerbomb THROUGH THE LADDER to effectively eliminate Sin Cara from the match as they bring out a stretcher for him. We get a break in spots just to have these guys brawl around and inside the ring with ladders before Kane goes for the briefcase for the first time so we get a few guys trying to climb it and get taken down by the former Corre members before Slater and Gabriel attack Barrett to end that group for good. We get a few 1v1 ladder fights, generic stuff mostly until Sheamus picks Bryan up and Kane HITS A FUCKING DOOMSDAY DEVICE ON HIM BRO Sheamus bridges one ladder between the one set up in the middle and the middle turnbuckle but Kane takes him out and then a few other guys with a Chokeslam, but Bryan desperately fights his way back up and this fucking Chicago crowd finally starts chanting for him (or anyone else tbh) instead of CM Punk and Bryan is able to take out Kane but Slater is able to nail him with a Neckbreaker off the ladder, I’m a sucker for guys doing finishers off a ladder tbh. Barrett introduces a third ladder into the ring and they do this spot where they throw Slater with it outside onto Kane before Sheamus starts laying everyone out with Brogue Kicks and starts rearranging stuff like moving that one ladder from the middle to the lower turnbuckle and setting another draped over the top turnbuckle in a different corner. He gets super close to the briefcase before Kane is able to stop him and Chokeslams him onto the ladder that was bridged. Rhodes and Barrett both hit their finishers on Kane and this allows Gabriel to climb up to the ladder that’s draped over the top rope and hit his 450 Splash, cool spot but like it was from the same height as normal, very impressed he didn’t fuck it up though. Barrett takes out Gabriel so it’s basically, him, Rhodes, and Bryan left. Rhodes takes out Barrett and then he and Bryan end up both on the same side of the ladder, but Barrett tries to sneak up from behind and take the case while Bryan has a guillotine locked in on Rhodes. Bryan sees him so he throws Rhodes down and starts fighting off Barrett, Barrett teases Wasteland on that other ladder, but Bryan fights off and hits a huge kick to send Barrett down to the ground and the crowd goes nuts when they realize Bryan is the only one left Huge pop when Bryan wins.

I’d really point to this as the start of all his WWE success tbh, he was really floundering around in the SmackDown midcard and I didn’t expect him to win this at all. Without this we don’t get the heel world title run, we don’t get the 18 seconds loss and we don’t get any YES chants, this is a great moment to rewatch. Also this is one of the most underrated MITB matches bc it had next to no star power but it delivered and then some.

Earlier tonight, Vince McMahon arrived with Executive VP of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis AKA BIG JOHNNY and some lawyer as a last ditch effort to resign Punk and from what Cole understands, they are meeting with Punk right now.

WWE Divas Championship: Kelly Kelly (c) (w/ Eve Torres) vs Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella)
LOL at Brie always getting the singles matches before Nikki got her fake tits. This is terrible, exactly what you’d expect really, they start with some catfighting and Kelly botches a spinning headscissors 30 seconds in. Kelly takes a decent bump to the outside from the apron that gives Brie the advantage which is just a body scissors for like a minutes until Kelly fights back but Brie stuffs the first two with basic stuff like hair takedowns. Kelly makes a basic comeback and they have this sloppy back and forth until Kelly hits her Fame-asser finisher for the win to like no reaction.

Mark Henry/Big Show video package plays showing the start of the HALL OF PAIN

Big Show vs Mark Henry
Nice big man brawling to start, both guys are moving relatively fast since they know it’s gonna be a short outing and Show ends up meeting Henry outside the ring within a minute and tries to Chokeslam him through the Spanish announce table but Henry fights out and shoves Henry into the steps. Show breaks the 10-count but Henry is able to kick the steps into Show’s knees and starts targeting the knee that Del Rio ran over with his car a few months ago LOL They work a half crab for awhile before Show starts fighting back and this fool hits a diving shoulder block form the second rope even though he has a bad knee Show goes for a Chokeslam, but Henry kicks out the knee and hit a World’s Strongest Slam which for some reason only gets a two count so Henry hits another one followed by two splashes for the win. That was fine, it was booked okay but they actually end up having much better matches later this year.

After the match, Henry walks by the Anonymous Raw GM podium (I forgot about this shit smh fuckin Hornswoggle ) and grabs a chair that he puts over Show’s ankle and hits a big splash on it and Show has these hilarious screams of pain. The stretcher is too small so they have to bring out a cart for Show and the whole time the crowd is chanting “CM Punk”

Backstage, Vince and Big Johnny are talking about the Punk situation when Josh Matthews comes in to ask if Punk resigned and Vince has to just say “no” and calls Punk the biggest ingrate he’d ever dealt with in his life for turning down the most lucrative contract ever smh should have thrown in “Cult of Personality” like HHH did. Vince says that this is all because John Cena demanded this match so if Punk leaves tonight with the WWE Championship, then God have mercy on John Cena’s soul.

Raw Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs Alex Riley vs Evan Bourne vs Jack Swagger vs Kofi Kingston vs The Miz vs R-Truth vs Rey Mysterio
Each guy brings their own ladder to the ring which already separates this from the Smackdown one bc they had max 3 in the ring at one time, Truth gets the smallest one though bc he’s scared of heights This has more of a standard MITB match feel toit compared to the Smackdown one, shorter and more of a spotfest. Everyone takes out Del Rio at first bc idk maybe they’re racist and then everyone has this awesome fight with the tiny ladders that they just murder each other with. Mysterio, Kingston, and Bourne are really creative, but these fuckers are still using these small ladders and act like they have any chance to get the case. Everyone ends up hitting dives to the outside and Bourne climbs up to this tall af ladder and hits this awesome Shooting Star Press onto everyone Bourne and Miz have a great fight over the case before Del Rio pushes the ladder out from under them and they both take nasty bumps, especially Miz who really fucked up his knee so trainers have to take a look at him and end up helping him out. Bourne has had some really close calls with the case so far and continues to really show out along with Mysterio. Truth sends Swagger and Riley off a ladder for the next bump, way more safe than Miz’s unfortunately Kingston does this cool Boom Drop off of a ladder draped across the middle rope and then this sweet dodge using a ladder where Del Rio misses and flies out of the ring but then Mysterio hits a 619 using the ladder Another cool spot where Truth see-saws the ladder into Swagger’s face but then gets hit with a traditional 619 from Mysterio. Four ladders are set up now and all 7 men climb up and end up hitting the briefcase around a lot for a cool moment. Everyone gets knocked off one by one until Kingston is all alone and has one of the better false finishes of a MITB match that I can remember until Swagger interrupts and they both end up crashing hard to the mat so everyone is out BUT WAIT MIZ COMES HOBBLING DOWN ON ONE FOOT AND CLIMBS THE LADDER ON ONE GOOD LEG but Mysterio attacks his leg and the crowd boos like crazy Mysterio takes him out with a sunset flip and goes for the case but Del Rio comes after him and unmasks Mysterio but then IDK what he was waiting for bc he shoves Mysterio over to another ladder which slowly topples over onto Del Rios and knocks his down so then he has to regroup and climb up and win the most anti-climatic MITB finish ever. Still a lot of fun, but I definitely preferred the Smackdown one. No Ricardo Rodriguez announcing Del Rio as the winner is a travesty though. Also LOL at Del Rio having cuts all over him bc he was careless af with ladders tonight so that’s what he gets.

Highlight video for the Christian/Orton feud and Teddy Long screwing tf out of Christian smh most mistreated guy of all time. Christian got his lawyer to get it where if Orton is DQ’d then Christian wins the belt.

Josh Matthews is backstage with new MITB winner ALberto Del Rio asking him how he feels about winning it and Del Rio just bitches about having to be in it in the first place bc he won a #1 contender’s triple threat even though the case is way better than a regular one on one title match but whatever. Del Rio says this isn’t part of his destiny, it’s just a formality bc his destiny is to be the new WWE CHAMPION!

World Heavyweight Championship (Orton loses title by DQ): Randy Orton (c) vs Christian
Christian starts mind games early by throwing a chair into the ring and inviting Orton to hit him with it and Orton wants to so bad but just beats the shit out of him with strikes instead. Orton’s offense is really good here, this 2011 run was one of his best in-ring wise. Christian acts super desperate and it’s great but doesn’t have the flashy one-upmanship that made the other matches they had great, but this one makes perfect sense with the feud. Christian goes for the Killswitch at one point but Orton reverses and hits a Cactus Clothesline over the top rope Orton busts out some fun pinning combinations and we get some nice counter exchanges and near falls including one from Christian with a diving headbutt. Both guys tease their finishers a few times before Christian finally hits the Switch for a super close near fall Christian sets up for a Spear next but runs right into the corner and Orton does this fucking Gutwrench Neckbreaker that I’ve never seen him use again for a near fall of his own, great sequence. Some more back and forth until Orton starts measuring for the RKO and Christian backs into the corner and spits in Orton’s face Orton gets pissed and starts throwing hands and almost gets DQ’d but stops before the count of five only to punt Christian right in the dick when he gets up to lose the belt

The reaction after is an amazing mix of boos and cheers for Christian but then Orton completely snaps and Teddy Long comes out to beg him to stop but “HE GONE DO IT!” as Booker puts it and RKOs Christian on the table. He starts to leave but comes back and has this sick smile on his face and hits another one on the table. RIP Christian but great World Title win for my CLB :

No one likes a bully so BE A STAR!

The crowd starts a CM Punk chant before the video package even starts playing

WWE Championship: John Cena (c) vs CM Punk
We’ve all seen this so I’m not going to waste time talking about the crowd reaction but it’s so crazy and definitely still holds up. Thankfully the match does as well, They start off pretty slow, milking the shit out of the crowd who chant “you can’t wrestle” as Cena is wrestling very well. The pace picks up a little and we get a fun back and forth where they tease their finishers and hit some of their signature moves to great crowd reactions. King is trying his best to ruin this match on commentary but the action really starts picking up with changes in momentum and Punk throws Cena right in front of Colt Cabana to get his buddy on camera Cena starts targeting the neck some after a big knee to it on the apron and the Cena fans finally get heard a little in the crowd to get him back into it, really cool moment. Cena ends up hitting this crazy suplex from the apron onto the floor, didn’t even tease it or anything Cena’s knee got banged up on an earlier bump though but he manages to fight through it and they keep up these solid back and forths with a nice strike exchange before both guys end up down after a double clothesline. Cena starts hitting his usual comeback and gets some major heat for the Five Knuckle Shuffle Punk counters it and has this awesome rush of offense but Cena is able to comeback and hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Punk Counters the AA only for Cena to counter a GTS as well. Punk ends up hitting his knee/bulldog combo and a flying clothesline for a great near fall. Cena ends up countering into an STF in the center of the ring but Punk is able to crawl to the ropes. Cena does his crossbody counter into an AA but they both counter each other’s finishers again and Cena ends up with another STF GREAT FUCKING SEQUENCE I really would have thought Punk tapped here tbh but he manages to fight out INTO THE ANACONDA VICE Cena fights out into an AA out of nowhere and Cole calls the match but PUNK KICKS OUT We get a couple more two counts after some bigger moves and Cena hits another AA that Punk kicks out of AGAIN and the crowd is going absolutely insane. Cena tries to go for a super AA to finish off Punk but he fights off and hits a huricanrana fuckin’ 30 minutes into the match. Punk is finally able to hit a GTS but it sends Cena outside the ring so Punk has to roll him back inside. This is where Mr. McMahon and Big Johnny come out, Punk sees them and goes back into the ring but walks right into an STF so McMahon sends Laurinaitis to call for the bell for a Chicago Screwjob but Cena sees it happening so he breaks his hold, lays out Big Johnny setting up for a terrible PPV main event next year, then goes back into the ring and walks into a GTS ONE TWO THREE PUNK WINS! LEGENDARY FUCKING POP I’ll shit on Punk for being a crybaby hypocrite and a failure of an MMA fighter all day but I can still say this is one of the best moments in WWE history regardless, the atmosphere was just insane.

Post match, McMahon steals one of the announcers headset and yells for Del Rio to come down and cash in his briefcase so he comes running down but Punk catches him with a kick and knocks him out and then just smiles at McMahon as he leaves through the crowd and blows him a kiss

 

[Chris]

Event: UFC 149 - Faber vs. Barao
Date: July 21, 2012
Venue: Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 16,089

UFC Heavyweight Champion: Junior Dos Santos
UFC Light Heavyweight Champion: Jon Jones
UFC Middleweight Champion: Anderson Silva
UFC Welterweight Champion: Georges St-Pierre Interim: Carlos Condit
UFC Lightweight Champion: Benson Henderson
UFC Featherweight Champion: Jose Aldo
UFC Bantamweight Champion: Dominick Cruz

This card looks boring af during the opening promo video, a lot of them were last minute changes bc shit just fell apart but OH SHIT we get a young Matt Riddle in the first fight but he doesn’t have his awesome NXT theme smh this is why we need time travel.

Welterweight Bout: Chris Clements vs Matthew Riddle
Riddle gets an early takedown but lets Clements back up and that’s kinda the story here, Riddle wants this to be a middle of the octagon brawl so he keeps letting Clements get back to it, this dude was meant to be a pro wrestler. The ref fucks up and thinks Riddle hit Clements low but it was a liver shot so Riddle can’t capitalize on that. Riddle gets another takedown and just dominates with strikes and transitions but my dude lets him back up and eats an uppercut before the round ends bc he wants this to be exciting Clements comes out stronger in the second round so Riddle just takes him down again and owns him more on the ground by taking his back so most of this round is Riddle in a body triangle before he finally transitions out but Clement is able to hit some nice elbows that keep Riddle from finishing and they end up back on their feet for the last minute and we end the round with a great strike exchange with Riddle on bottom in a full guard just swinging like crazy when he hears the blocks Riddle’s got a cut now, probably from one of those elbows from earlier. They hug before the round starts and Clements starts dominating the stand-up so Riddle has to use his power for another takedown but Clements is up quick BUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER MATT RIDDLE LOCKS IN A STANDING ARM TRIANGLE OFF A MISSED SPINNING BACK FIST AND DRAGS HIM TO THE GROUND FOR THE WIN

Oh wait but Riddle smoked weed so that fight didn’t count and it’s a NC on the books ignore everything I wrote bc it didn’t happen. Hilarious post-match interview from Riddle though.

Welterweight Bout: Brian Ebersole vs James Head
Ebersole has this dumbass arrow shaved into his chest still but it’s not as prominent as I’ve seen it before. Ebersole also says he can’t be choked out so he gives up his head easily for Head (bruh) and we get this whatever stand-up exchange where neither guy really hits anything big but Head mostly dominates, but Ebersole’s weird-ass offense nets him some solid shots that he lands. Ebersole ends up getting a takedown and gets caught in a guillotine but just gives a thumbs up and Head stops trying Ebersole does good on top and goes for a cartwheel kick when they stand back up but gets caught and Head ends up on top doing nothing as the round is, close stuff IDK who I’d score it for. Pretty boring second round, they don’t land a whole lot and Ebersole’s takedown attempts are stuffed. Head hits some nice knees with about a minute left but ends up letting Ebersole take advantage on the ground but Head has this awesome transition to end up on top as the round ends. Another close round, but not much action in that one, I’d probably say Head won it though. More of the same stuff in the last round, Ebersole just shoots for a takedown and Head keeps stuffing them, then we get some boring stand-up in between other than a few shots by Head. Head ends up with the takedown actually but they just end up back on their feet and the crowd is booing by this point. I’ve completely stopped caring by the end of this.

Head rightfully wins by split decision mostly bc of stuffed takedowns and also bc he looked like he was actually trying. Rogan shits on Ebersole’s takedown skills before leaving to interview Head

Heavyweight Bout: Cheick Kongo vs Shawn Jordan
Kongo is way more over with these Canadians but they end up in a pretty boring clinch battle which Rogan has to talk up how tiring this is...and I understand this but it’s boring af and these are my least favorite fights other than when guys are standing and throwing next to zero strikes. Kongo gets caught low halfway through the first round with a fucking elbow so he falls to the ground Kongo comes out way faster after the restart and the second half is more entertaining but it still just ends up in a clinch, just with more strikes thrown. Rogan acts surprised that these heavyweights aren’t breathing heavier but they got like a 3 minute break halfway through the 1st round so that’s probably why. Another cage clinch fight in round 2 basically the whole time and Kongo really starts to dominate throughout landing some better strikes but he’s not able to get any sort of takedown that he goes for, he just owns the clinch and does enough to keep them to break. He finally gets a takedown but fucks up and Jordan ends up on top with like 45 seconds left but he can’t capitalize, I’d still say Kongo has won both the first two rounds. Same shit in round 3, Kongo lands a few shots and then goes into the clinch, dude knows he’s winning and just isn’t even trying for a finish. Jordan has given up too, he’s just putting a hand on the ground to avoid knees.

Kongo wins by unanimous decision, fights have gotten worse as the night has gone on so I hope that doesn’t keep up.

Middleweight Bout: Hector Lombard vs Tim Boetsch
LOL they try to get some heat going by not touching gloves even though this was a last minute fight thrown together bc both their opponents got injured. First round is alright, they’re fairly active and go back and forth a bit but then it slows down and it feels like they start doing a lot less, I guess Boetsch won that one but nothing really happened. Really the same stuff in round 2, remember how I said my least favorite UFC fights were the stand-up ones where they aren’t hitting shit, yeah that’s what this one is, no combos, the only shit that hits flush are leg kicks that aren’t utilized enough anyway. Boetsch gets caught with a body kick and gets hurt so Lombard ends up on top of him but again isn’t doing shit so they end up back up. The announcers are starting to openly question why Lombard isn’t doing more stuff bc when he does he looks good, but Boetsch has been controlling what little fighting happens for the most part, but that one body kick may have won Lombard that round. Round three again is the same shit, Boetsch lands more strikes but they really aren’t shit and Lombard again barely does anything. Crowd boos the whole third round for the third fight in a row. They end up in a clinch at the end and Lombard gets a takedown that leads to nothing but I don’t care about this at all anymore.

Boetsch wins by split decision, cool.

Interim UFC Bantamweight Championship: Renan Barao vs Urijah Faber
Barao comes out with a light of kicks but misses a lot of them, I’m just happy strikes are being thrown. Overall a pretty boring first round, but better than most of the shit tonight so far. Barao gets poked up in the eye early on in round 2 that fucks up that pacing of it for a minute but comes back and has a fairly strong round striking but still doesn’t hit anything really big besides some damaging leg kicks so still a pretty boring round. Another strong round for Barao in round 3, he keeps it up with knees and kicks but still nothing is really happening and Faber isn’t getting rocked by anything for the most part except his leg is starting to hurt from the kicks. This fight is boring af but it’s like the second best of the night so at least the crowd isn’t booing yet Round 4 was actually going okay until it gets topped bc Faber gets poked in the eye this time so they start back up quick and this is probably the best round so far but Faber’s leg is really starting to hurt him bc dude must skip leg day all the time smh his biggest weakness. Barao straight up starts toying with Faber in the last round and goes for some harder shots but this still really ain’t shit and I’m so bored with this fucking fight. The fans don’t boo as this one ends at least bc they’re throwing shots.

The crowd starts a loud “bullshit” chant after the fight. Barao wins by unanimous decision to become the interim champ, fuck this fight and fuck this card. I want to watch trainwrecks not boring shit like this.

 

[Deezy]

Alberta is cursed when it comes to UFC cards.

 

[Chris]

Event: King of Pro-Wrestling
Date: October 8, 2012
Venue: Ryogoku Kokugikan in Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: ~9,000
Commentators: Kazuo Yamazaki, Soichi Shibata, Katsuhiko Kanazawa, Shinji Yoshino & Shinpei Nogami

IWGP Heavyweight Champion: Hiroshi Tanahashi
IWGP Intercontinental Champion: Shinsuke Nakamura
IWGP Tag Team Champions: Tencozy (Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima)
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion: Kota Ibushi
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions: Forever Hooligans (Alex Koslov & Rocky Romero)

BACK AT IT BITCHES! I don’t speak Japanese and NJPW won’t have English commentary for a few year so I’m pretty much just going to be reviewing matches here. I’d appreciate the opening promo package having subtitles more if they weren’t also in Japanese Pretty cool even though I don’t understand it though. Also just some comments on NJPW as a whole since it’s got the WON best show for like the next 7 years, I don’t really watch it but I’m pretty neutral on it, I feel like some IWC guys crazy overrate it, but also that others unnecessarily hate it for it’s differences. I can usually appreciate them but I’m definitely a more North American wrestling style guy so I might not enjoy them as much as others, but wrestling is wrestling to me, and I can usually appreciate everything good and bad.

Chaos (Takashi Iizuka, Tomohiro Ishii, & Toru Yano) vs Muscle Orchestra (Manabu Nakanishi & Strong Man) & Yuji Nagata
Quick brawl between teams to start before it goes to a regular tag formula. This Strong Man dude is ridiculously JACKED but they kinda just end up brawling outside again after Yano brings in a chair and the ref loses control completely and does his best to pretend like he isn’t seeing the illegal shit Chaos ends up choking Nakanishi with a chair while this blind ass ref is distracted and they end up isolating Nakanishi in the ring. The actual action in the ring really isn’t anything special, Ishii’s brawling and shit talking def the best part before Nagata ends up coming in and wrecking him and then they have a fun little brawl. Muscle Orchestra end up doing some hilarious power teamwork and there’s very rarely any actual tag match happening bc everyone just keeps getting involved or brawling out of the ring. The finish comes when the ref almost takes a bump and cowers in fear so Iizuka hits Nakanishi with some kind of gauntlet looking thing for Yano to roll him up and get the win Okay opener to start out with some guys with fairly obvious downsides that they tried to hide with all the brawling and nonstop action, hope that ends up being the worst match on the card though bc it didn’t do much for me.

Chaos keeps up the attack after the match until Strong Man and Nagata return to run them off.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: Forever Hooligans (Alex Koslov & Rocky Romero) (c) vs Time Splitters (Alex Shelley & KUSHIDA)
This is more like it, good technical stuff at the start with some double team here or there by Time Splitters, they have control for the beginning, really shutting down all the champ’s attempts at anything. Hooligans are finally able to isolate Shelley after Koslov does the fucking spot where he runs around the ring and Romero blindsides Shelley when they go back in but Koslov almost tripped over a camera cable while doing it Hooligans get some good double team in and Koslov does his fucking Russian dancing spot with the hat making Shelley look like a chump smh Hooligans do some more comedy teasing fighting each other before hugging and still working over Shelley the whole time Shelley makes a comeback but KUSHIDA was knocked off the apron so he’s gotta fight back until he can finally make the tag KUSHIDA’s hot tag is a lot of fun until Romero is able to hit a super frankensteiner on him off Koslov’s shoulders that gets a close near fall. KUSHIDA kicks out of some more nice double team moves and the crowd gets crazy behind him as Shelley fights back in and Time Splitters do some more creative double team stuff and hit dual planchas over the top rope. Koslov is barely able to save the match after a brainbuster/moonsault combo and fucking MURDERS Shelley with an enzuguri Romero ends up getting the win soon after he reversed a Splitters double team attempt and just rolls up KUSHIDA smh kinda flat finish, good match though, didn’t do anything crazy but everything was solid.

Hooligans get on the mic after saying they’re gonna be champs forever and the crowd fucking hates them.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: Kota Ibushi (c) vs Low Ki
Damn I forgot how skinny Ibushi used to be. Kind of a pseudo-MMA match to start with strikes and attempted submissions that are blocked, but Low Ki ends up bullying Ibushi with strikes so Ibushi has to fight back with his high flying stuff but ends up taking a pretty sick bump off the top rope onto the guard rail. Ki just keeps bullying Ibushi with his stiff ass strikes, stifling any comeback and keeping Ibushi grounded which is a smart strategy. Ibushi finally gets some space and starts doing his AWESOME flippy shit with a crazy springboard moonsault that he had tried to go for earlier Ki starts getting desperate and both guys really start going all out and Ki’s strikes really look legit deadly at this point smh dude need to learn to pull a little. Ki gets a super close near fall after he flips out of a half nelson suplex and hits a double stomp, great spot We get some more awesome counters and Ibushi hits a fucking STANDING Phoenix Splash at one point for two BRUH both guys end up brawling on the top rope until Ki hits a super Ki Krusher for the win Great shit there, started slow but holy shit the last half or so was fire.

After the match Prince Devitt comes out and says he’s been to Europe and Mexico but now he’s HOME in NJPW and he’s here for one reason, Low Ki and the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship. Low Ki says not to bite off more than he can chew bc last year was the year for Prince Devitt and this is the year of Low Ki bc he’s the number one man in the world as long as he has the belt. He says some stuff in Japanese then that the crowd really likes.

IWGP Tag Team Championship: Tencozy (Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima) (c) vs Killer Elite Squad (Davey Boy Smith Jr. & Lance Archer) (w/ TAKA Michinoku)
KES take control early bc Japanese refs don’t care about just two guys starting a match and they do a real good job with their powers moves and playing heel to the crowd. Tencozy are able to come back and this is just a real fun brawl with powers moves here or there by both teams, no technical stuff whatsoever but I didn’t expect any. Also I forgot Archer has a tramp stamp tattoo TAKA comes out of nowhere to try and get involved but Tenzan just wrecks him off the apron the distraction lets KES take control again and they even hit a Hart Attack for two Tenzan tries to fight back but Archer pulls Kojima off the apron before he can make the tag so KES continues their solid isolation on Tenzan. Archer steals Old School from ‘Taker the shit you can get away with in Japan. Tenzan finally fights back and Kojima gets a really fun hot tag until Smith shuts that shit down. Tencozy fights back and hits 3Ds on both challengers, then TAKA eats another lariat Smith comes back with a sick sit-out Powerbomb that Tenzan has to break up, KES ends up hitting some big double team moves and win after a couple Full Nelson Slam/Sitout Powerbomb combs. Really solid shit, impressed with how much Smith Jr has improved for sure. Good job foreigners, NEW CHAMPS!

Tetsuya Naito vs Yujiro Takahashi
Takahashi got some naked girls on his shirt his “cool douche” gimmick hilarious bro. Takahashi attacks Naito as he gets into the ring, and Naito quickly grabs his knee so Takahashi starts working over that, real basic stuff and he stops to taunt a lot but I do appreciate the isolation of a body part. Naito tries to get a quick win with roll-ups but his leg stops him and Takahashi just keeps toying with him and locks on an Indian Deathlock that forces Naito to tap after a bit. Weird short match on the card, wasn’t bad or anything just felt like it was a piss break or breather for the crowd match.

After the match Takahashi pillmanizes Naito’s leg with multiple chair shots and taunts him on the mic

Always Hypers (Togi Makabe & Wataru Inoue) vs Laughter7 (Katsuyori Shibata & Kazushi Sakuraba)
A lot of the themes have been semi-muted probably for royalty reasons but it sounded like Laughter7 came out to “Iron Man” and they got the Road Warrior shoulder pads Inoue comes out all full of hate but at least two guys start the match for once, him and Shibata end up outside the ring pretty quick though and everyone starts brawling, it’s good shit though way better than the opening 6-man. Laughter7 keep control at first on Inoue with some great strikes, not deadly stiff Low Ki ones, but still look pretty painful. Inoue is able to fight out and tag in Makabebut Sakuraba tries to lock on a kimura which I guess is banned bc the ref goes crazy to stop him? More real fun brawling ensues with a super hot crowd and Inoue comes back in to get some revenge. Hypers go for some double team but Sakuraba breaks it up but then Inoue hits this crazy weird spear on Shibata. Sakuraba comes back in though and locks on a sleeper and Shibata hits a running kick to the chest which oddly ends the match. Good shit for how short it was though, only got like 8 minutes but it didn’t need anymore.

Video package showing Okada’s G1 Climax win and hyping up the RAINMAKER airs before showing how this next match against Karl Anderson came about. Winner gets the right to fight for the title at Wrestle Kingdom. I think this was after Albert left to be Tensai in WWE and Anderson hadn’t started teaming with Gallows yet and he was stealing DDP’s gimmick of dropping everyone with cutters. Also the machine gun sound effects for when he’s introduced are amazing

Tokyo Dome IWGP Heavyweight Championship Challenge Rights Certificate: Karl Anderson vs Kazuchika Okada (w/ Gedo)
Okada has really came into his own here with the cockiness, he’s basically playing a heel but he’s so over and against a foreigner so that crowd is completely behind him. They go with Anderson grounding Okada at first doing his best ‘04 Orton impression with the headlocks, it’s good shit and a good change of pace from the stuff earlier in the show. Anderson also doesn’t have any kind of abs here lmao dude looking like a slightly more in shape Horace Hogan. Outside the ring, Okada takes control and fucking big boots Anderson over the rail before hitting a draping DDT back over it Anderson barely makes it in before the 20 count and Okada just looks annoyed he couldn’t get that count out victory Anderson was grabbing his knee earlier, but that may have actually been legit bc Okada is only working over the neck, but that softens him up for the Rainmaker so I fucks with it. Anderson has an awesome comeback, you’d really think he was the babyface here but the crowd keeps chanting for Okada even though they do pop when Anderson steals the Rainmaker taunt Okada baits Anderson outside again but this time it’s Anderson who kicks Okada over the rail and then his own draping move but his is a neckbreaker Cool mirror spot there. Anderson ends up meeting Okada on the apron and ends up hitting a huge superplex for the first near fall so far. They start hitting their bigger moves and countering others now with a few close pinfalls. Okada counters the first Rainmaker attempt and ends up hitting his diving neckbreaker for an awesome near fall before hitting his TKO (forgot his name for it) for another close two count, great shit. Okada ends up coming back and throws off his elbow pad as the crowd is going nuts for him. They exchange some strikes and have some awesome counters before Anderson hits his side piledriver thing for another close two count. Then they both go for their finishes but it’s countered so each guy goes for the OTHER dude’s finish but it’s countered too until Okada ends up hitting the Tombstone DAT EXCHANGE Okada lifts up dead Anderson and kills him with a Rainmaker just to be sure for the win. Great match, some of those exchanges at the end were really good. Might be Anderson’s best singles match of his career, but I haven’t watched enough NJPW to make that call.

IWGP Intercontinental Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs Hirooki Goto
Nakamura’s entrances aren’t super cool yet Really solid back and forth to start, Goto doesn’t put up with Nakamura’s shit so he takes a breather outside but Goto meets him and sends him on top of an elderly fan Goto takes control in the ring and it’s fine but the crowd is super dead and it’s verging on boring territory. It’s like we’re back in the 80s and 90s instead of the hot crowd that was loud af earlier but Goto is really taking it to Nakamura with some submissions until Nakamura fights back with some sick knee strikes on the apron. Nakamura’s offense if fine except Goto is no selling most of it, but the crowd finally wakes up for good vibrations and then they go back and forth that’s much better than earlier. Nakamura’s offense gets a lot more fun once Goto is selling it and the crowd gets back into it when they start hitting their bigger moves. Goto wins a striking exchange and gets the first near fall of the match. They end up on the top rope and Goto hits a crazy fireman’s carry into a knee to the back of the head from the TOP ROPE for a two count. Nakamura can’t fight out and manages to kick out of another couple close two counts. Nakamura starts fighting back but Goto fucking headbutts a punch attempt and Nakamura sells it like crazy Nakamura still keeps it up and is able to hit a few knee strikes before the Kinshasa for the win (I know it has a different name in NJPW but I didn’t feel like looking it up). Kinda weirdly paced but still a really solid match that picked up a lot at the end. Doesn’t touch Ki/Ibushi or Anderson/Okada though.

Some little kid gives Nakamura a tiny trophy after the match and he celebrates with his belt, love how the IWGP Intercontinental title looks.

Video package for the Tanahashi/Suzuki match plays, don’t really understand anything anyone says though. Also LOVE how they show all the former IWGP champs before title matches bc of the BROCK sighting.

IWGP Heavyweight Championship: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Minoru Suzuki
This was the WON’s 2012 MOTY so I’ve already reviewed this earlier in the thread but I fucked with it so I’m looking forward to watching it again. They start out slow to pace themselves bc this gets 30 minutes, Tanahashi tries to use his wrestling but Suzuki comes at him with the strikes. They do good both getting their shit in at the beginning and Tanahashi does his fucking air guitar abdominal stretch But this just pisses Suzuki off so he comes at him like crazy with his MMA offense and starts killing him outside of the ring, really going after Tanahashi’s taped arm. Suzuki continues the arm work inside the ring so Tanahashi has to try and fight back one handed but it doesn’t work fuck yeah body part selling After a few failed comeback attempts, Tanahashi is able to hit a dragon screw and the crowd is super hot for him to get back into it. He targets Suzuki’s knee like crazy and Suzuki just looks pissed at how much pain it’s in Suzuki goes right back to the arm though, kicking it with his good leg and fucking ripping off the tape with his teeth Tanahashi gets caught in a pretty deep armbar but just barely manages to fight to the ropes and then manages a sleeper hold and going back to the knee, such slow methodical stuff so far but great psychology and body part work/selling. Awesome Figure-4 spot where Suzuki is grabbing the ref’s shirt yelling at him in pain but won’t tap but can’t get to the ropes either, it goes a little long but my headcanon is that Tanahashi doesn’t have it in properly since he doesn’t do it regularly. Suzuki tries to run to the ropes but can’t even though he’s then able to hit a desperation dropkick somehow and slaps feeling back into his leg which I tolerate slightly bc it allows wrestlers not to be crazy limited with a body part but also Suzuki still sells it afterwards so he’s forgiven. Suzuki wins a Japanese slap fight and locks in his sleeper as Tanahashi desperately tries to fight out but Suzuki rolls it over into a mounted sleeper Tanahashi dies and an MMA ref would have called it but he catches a second wind and makes it to the ropes. Suzuki just keeps killing him with slaps now before going back to the sleeper, he breaks it to go for his Gotch-Style Piledriver but Tanahashi fights out and hits another dragon screw to fuck up his leg even more Tanahashi ends up going for his High Fly Flow splash but Suzuki gets the knees up but Suzuki can’t really capitalize much after bc of his knee other than some slaps that are hard as shit, basically just straight palm strikes really. Tanahashi hits ANOTHER dragon screw, this time on the apron and hits the High Fly Flow to a standing Suzuki followed by a standard one for the win HOLY SHIT I THINK THAT WAS THE ONLY PIN OF THE WHOLE MATCH I AIN’T EVEN MAD That was really great shit, fucking amazing that they did all that submission battling for most of it and didn’t go crazy with big moves or near falls and it still ended up being such a good match, easily best match of the card, I’d def recommend it.

TAKA gets an ice pack on Suzuki’s leg in like .3 seconds after the match and he limps backstage as Tanahashi gets presented with a HUGE trophy especially compared to Nakamura’s Post-match takes forever, Tanahashi has his arm all iced up and goes to cut a promo but Yujiro Takahashi comes out wearing a shirt that just says “WE RUN SHIT” and interrupts him and gets some nice heat but IDK what he’s saying. Tanahashi cuts a long post-match interview promo afterwards that I don’t understand but the crowd seems to love it. He tries to do his air guitar but his arm hurts to bad so he ends up falling down in pain before getting up saying some more stuff and the confetti starts to fall It takes him like 5 more minutes to get backstage bc he celebrates with the crowd and then he goes right to a press conference style room where he celebrates with some guys with FUCKING COORS LIGHT They pour it all over him and he talks some more in Japanese, at least they got one of the better shitty cheap American beers, could have been Natural Light

Show was fire though, most matches were really good outside just a couple and a few were awesome but that main event still holds up amazingly.

 

[Chris]

Here's what's left to review since I haven't done this in awhile. Gonna try to finish the major shows sometime soon at least so this thread gets wrapped up and then I might go to the best and worst weekly shows, but I def know I won't be able to find a lot if any of the ones from the 80s so I might end up skipping around on that and just reviewing what I can. Also the 2018 awards have came out since I started this so I'm just gonna add those shows here and review the 2018 WON FOTY next separately without the PWI and WON MOTY and WON WMOTY bc they were both on the best and worst WON shows.

2018 WON Fight of the Year
Justin Gaethje vs. Dustin Poirier - UFC on Fox: Poirier vs Gaethje

WON Best Major Show
2013: NJPW G1 Climax 23: Day 4
2014: NJPW G1 Climax 24: Day 7
2015: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 9
2016: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 10
2017: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 11
2018: NJPW Dominion 6.9 in Osaka-jo Hall (Also includes Omega/Okada as PWI & WON MOTY)

WON Worst Major Show
2013: WWE Battleground
2014: WWE Battleground
2015: AAA TripleMania XXIII
2016: WWE WrestleMania 32
2017: WWE Battleground
2018: WWE Crown Jewel (Also includes the WON WMOTY of D-Generation X vs Brothers of Destruction)

Gonna do the one MMA fight first and also look to see if any of the older matches I couldn't find are available anywhere online now though I doubt it, then I'll get back to the best and worst major shows, reviewing them in order of when they aired.

 

[Chris]

WON 2018 Fight of the Year - UFC on Fox: Poirier vs Gaethje: Dustin Poirier vs Justin Gaethje
Poirier got MEGA heat with this crowd Crowd is super hot for hometown boy Gaethje as this one starts and he comes out throwing hella leg kicks that Poirier just eats, but both guys are landing strikes to start and aren’t really stalling or anything so fuck yeah. Gaethje gets cut over the eye quickly but knocks down Poirier with a leg kick right afterwards. First round had a crazy fast pace, Poirier won in my book just from the damage his strikes did but Gaethje stayed with him and definitely hurt Poirier’s leg. Same stuff to start the second round until Poirier gets poked in the eye which gets him even more heat with the crowd It continues with that same super fucking fast pace, both guys landing a shit ton of strikes that look like they’re doing a lot of damage but they just fight through it, what a great fucking fight. Poirier goes for a takedown at the end of the round but Gaethje stuffs it and starts killing him with strikes in the clinch and FINISHES THE ROUND WITH A GODDAM FRONT FLIP KICK Round 3 starts out fast af again, Poirier is cut on his eye now too but he’s able to get a takedown only for them to stand back up pretty quick bc Gaethje is a slippery motherfucker. Both guys look tired now but somehow they’re still able to keep up this pace, Poirier’s leg is killing him and he ends up getting rocked and looks dazed against the cage but Gaethje can’t capitalize on it but he is able to land some killer knees in the clinch before Poirier fights out. They keep teeing of on each other, Poirier ends up against the cage for a bit again but Gaethje gets in trouble for another eye poke and gets a point deduction this time. Think Gaethje won that awesome 3rd round but with the point deduction it was probably scored 9-9. Poirier did get a warning for an eye poke right at the end though. Both come out hot for round 4 again but Poirier lands a big left hand that rocks Gaethje and Poirier just goes CRAZY on him and Gaethje is just stumbling around and when he finally drops to a knee after no defending himself much at all, Herb Dean calls it. GREAT FUCKING FIGHT Poirier puts over Gaethje in his post fight interview so he finally gets some cheers and says he’s earned a title fight so Dana “LET’S FUCKING GO!”