Just gonna take a few shots and start this shit

[Deezy]

Should've just called this brand anything besides ECW.

First year in, neckbeards were thinking they were getting some more nostalgia bullshit when this was pretty much the original NXT.

 

[Chris]

Should've just called this brand anything besides ECW.

First year in, neckbeards were thinking they were getting some more nostalgia bullshit when this was pretty much the original NXT.

It was actually decently entertaining at times from 08-10 when they dropped any sort of ECW nostalgia other than the name. But yeah it had too much fuckery to start with bringing in guys that had no business under contract with WWE in 2005 just for being ECW guys

 

[Crippler]

That Regal/CLB series

 

[Chris]

Event: ROH Man Up
Date: Taped September 15, 2007 aired on November 30, 2007
Venue: Frontier Fieldhouse in Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Attendance: ~1200
Commentators: Dave Prazak & Lenny Leonard

ROH World Champion: Takeshi Morishima
ROH World Tag Team Champions: The Briscoe Brothers (Jay & Mark Briscoe)

It would be a disgrace to not acknowledge this fire event poster before I start reviewing. Naomichi Marufuji is already in the ring as these bland ass announcers welcome us to the show and hype up Danielson/Morishima tonight before Nigel McGuinness takes Leonard’s mic and says he’s going to be watching that match very closely bc his dream of holding the ROH title is not dead. They start to hype up the Ladder War main event too but some masked guy (sounds very Seth Rollinsy ) jumps the rail and starts yelling “AGE OF THE FALL!” before security takes him out and they panic cut to a video package to make it look like a shoot IT’S HAPPENING

We come back to the announcers interviewing Claudio Castagnoli who’s making his entrance and he says he’s coming straight for Chris Hero and he will get his hands on Larry Sweeney. Sweeney tries to cut a promo during Hero’s entrance but the crowd starts a loud “shut the fuck up” chant bc he could even work the smarks.

Four Corner Survival Match: Chris Hero (w/ Sweet ‘n’ Sour Inc. (Bobby Dempsey, Larry Sweeney, Sara Del Rey, & Tank Toland) vs Claudio Castagnoli vs Naomichi Marufuji vs Nigel McGuinness
So this is one of those ROH four-ways where only two guys are in at a time and the others have to tag in and out, but first pin wins it. Not the biggest fan of this concept, but it’s booked great here. Marufuji/McGuinness start off and they don’t miss a beat from their match last year. Hero tags in pretty quick though and starts doing all this flippy athletic shit to prove he’s a great athlete BRUH let him try and do one of those things today lmao Marufuji gets annoyed and tags in Castagnoli so Hero just stalls until he can tag out to Marufuji. Sweeney is hilarious at ringside just FYI and Castagnoli/Marufuji rules like you’d expect, we get some quick Castagnoli/Hero exchanges that have a lot of heat, but Hero is still mostly avoiding. McGuinness/Castagnoli have a great British-style exchange before Hero comes in to pick apart Castagnoli. They end up outside of the ring where Castagnoli gets some revenge until Marufuji comes over the ropes onto both of them, so the crowd starts chanting for Nigel and this fool gets on the top rope and dives INTO the crowd onto the former Kings of Wrestling Marufuji/McGuinness again have a great exchange in the ring that ends with Marufuji hitting a Shiranui, but Hero breaks up the pin and this is where tags stop meaning anything bc only two guys are up at a time anyway so each guy gets a false finish broken up by another until we’re back to McGuinness/Marufuji being awesome before the cycle starts repeating with Hero breaking up a pin attempt after Tower of London by McGuinness. Castagnoli breaks up a pin attempt by Hero after a double stomp with a deadlift German suplex Castagnoli does a super long giant swing on Hero that gets a huge pop, but I can’t believe the crowd didn’t count along. Marufuji is back in and takes it to Castagnoli and signals for the coast to coast dropkick, but McGuinness stops it and starts taking out everyone with lariats before Castagnoli comes back with a Ricola Bomb on Marufuji (see tags don’t matter) that would have won except Hero jumps on the ref to stop the count Todd Sinclair is PISSED and so is Castagnoli so he takes out Hero but McGuinness is back in and hits the rebound Lariat for the win. Good fucking shit even if that tag in and out of a four way concept is so stupid and never gets followed after 5 minutes anyway.

Backstage, pirate Bryan Danielson says that three weeks ago at Manhattan Mayhem II (AKA the MOTY I reviewed earlier in this thread), Morishima BROKE his eye (more or less) so that’s why he’s wearing an eyepatch for now. He brings up the KENTA match from last year too just to get me a little wet but he’s mostly talking about how wrestling takes a toll on your body and everything and how he was rethinking things but he talked to his dad about his options and his dad said “this was the life you always wanted.” BRUH I might just have to watch a Bryan ROH pack pretty soon, fucking GOAT!

So these next three matches are a singles series between the No Remorse Corp and The Resilience. The No Remorse Corp won the coin flip so they get to decide who’s wrestling after they already know who The Resilience picks.

Matt Cross (w/ Erick Stevens & Austin Aries) vs Rocky Romero (w/ Davey Richards & Roderick Strong)
Pretty fun fast-paced stuff to start off, both guys are super athletic so they try to be all flippy and flashy. Cross takes the advantage early until Romero is able to lock in a cross armbreaker, but then he doesn’t keep working the arm or anything. Cross comes back again with more flips and they have another fun exchange until Cross misses a corkscrew flippy moonsault and Romero capitalizes with a kick to the head for the first win of the series.

Roderick Strong teases being the next guy in so Aries officially announces he’s next to get revenge on Strong and then Strong and Richards switch last minute

Austin Aries (w/ Erick Stevens) vs Davey Richards (w/ Rocky Romero & Roderick Strong)
Fun technical exchange to start, Richards has improved a lot since last year and really holds his own against Aries technically, then it breaks down to more of a brawl and Richards wins that too with his kicks, but tries to mock Aries’s swinging elbow and this lets Aries make a comeback and do all the moves I’d assign to my CAWs as regular moves that probably shouldn’t be. They end up on the turnbuckle and Aries falls to the floor so Richards regains control outside the ring. Richards again gets too cocky and they end up trading forearms and Aries is able to hit this crazy suicide dive through the fucking bottom two ropes. He can’t get any sustained offense though as Richards takes back control in the ring and goes for the DR Driver but Aries is able to fight back and goes up top but Richards is able to come at him with super german suplex from the top for two They have this awesome back and forth counter exchange that Aries wins with a Brainbuster and then a 450 Splash for the win. That was really good for the most part, it just felt like Aries was getting wrecked all match until he won, but I guess the story was Richards not being able to finish despite having control.

Roderick Strong (w/ Rocky Romero) vs Erick Stevens (w/ Austin Aries)
It’s crazy that Roddy is already viewed and acts like a veteran here, he’s just about to start his 10 year run of most consistent wrestler. Stevens comes out on fire and Strong sells great to make him look awesome whatever happened to this dude anyway? Stevens doesn’t let Strong breathe until he finally makes the mistake of taunting to the crowd on the apron so Strong comes up and hits this sick back suplex on the apron and then Strong starts doing his awesome offense targeting the back, really good rookie vs vet matchup so far. After a bit Stevens is able to make a comeback hitting a sweet TKO, but he can’t cover in time bc he sells his back. Strong gets distracted by the crowd to lose his next advantage pretty quick and they have this fun back and forth, Stevens is taking some pretty harsh bumps on his neck maybe that’s what happened to him. They have a sweet chop battle that progresses into some big moves for Stevens, but Strong is able to kick out. Strong takes control again and ends up hitting a superplex and some backbreakers but Stevens keeps kicking out too, so Strong gets frustrated and goes for a Super Gibson Driver but Stevens counters and hits this awesome Super Exploder that he floats over into the pin Strong just kicks at two so Stevens goes for a Super Doctor Bomb, but Strong counters this time and hits some sick elbows to the back of the head and goes for a Splash Mountain powerbomb that was alright, impact was nice but Roddy wasn’t quite strong enough, he transitions that into a Gibson Driver though which was super nice and gets the win off that, good shit, that was my favorite of those three matches for sure.

We cut to a match from Hartford, CT recently between Adam Pearce, Delirious, Nigel McGuinness, and BJ Whitmer. Nigel won after hitting Whitmer with a lariat. Afterwards, Delirious was attacked by Pearce, Shane Hagadorn, and Brent Albright and Pearce threatens to staple his mask to his face, but Whitmer comes back in and SWERVE turns on Delirious and lets Pearce staple the mask which they don’t show bc I guess it was too graphic.

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN Pirate Bryan's entrance

ROH World Championship: Takeshi Morishima (c) vs Bryan Danielson
Danielson comes out on FIRE bc he’s PISSED but Morishima goes right for the injured eye with some SICK forearms, the heat to start this is AMAZING This dumbass announcer talks about how Morishima says he wouldn’t go after the eye right as he’s facewashing Danielson on it Morishima fucks with his eyepatch more as they start brawling on the outside and Danielson is really taking a beating, but as soon as Morishima lets up for one second he’s coming at him with a suicide dive He doesn’t do any of his usual technical offense, but shows that he can strike. He gets caught coming off the top rope in a powerbomb, but counters that into a triangle choke and he makes sure the ref knows he has UNTIL FIVE He goes for the surfboard, but can’t get Morishima’s fatass over so he jumps down on his knees instead and locks on a bow and arrow instead. Morishima wins a striking battle with some sick elbows, but Danielson comes back with a rear naked choke and they really work this for a couple minutes before they go into a back and forth until Danielson hits a huge super back suplex for two. Danielson transitions into his signature repeated elbows before somehow hitting a Tiger Suplex that he transitions into Cattle Mutilation He has to let go of it but is able to get a Triangle locked on again only to be powerbombed by Morishima and both guys are down. Morishima nails this sick lariat that almost knocks the eyepatch off before hitting the Backdrop Driver but Danielson gets his foot on the ropes Morishima goes full heel and rips off Danielson’s eye patch but almost gets caught with a Small Package for the CLOSEST fucking near fall, and ends up hitting a second Backdrop Driver and then just starts raining down elbows to Danielson’s injured eye until the ref finally has to stop it. Really good rematch, they knew they wouldn’t top the Manhattan Mayhem match, plus Danielson was injured so they worked a much shorter but way faster paced match with a lot of heat to it.

A video package plays for the Ladder War between pre-KAMI and The Briscoes, feud looked so fire but I haven’t seen much of it other than this match and like one other PPV one.

Ladder War for the ROH World Tag Team Championship: The Briscoe Brothers (Jay & Mark Briscoe) (c) vs El Generico & Kevin Steen
This starts with the Briscoess just throwing a ladder dangerously into the ring and an all-out brawl on the floor. This shit gets like 27 minutes and there’s no way I’m gonna be able to call anything but the big spots, but just know it’s all fun af, they fight into the crowd and just kill each other with weapons early on, fucking all four guys gotta have concussions from these chair shots. Every time I see a shot of security trying to hold fans back while these guys are brawling 2 inches from them they look STRESSED It looks like Jay is the first guy to get busted open unless Generico is bleeding under his mask. They finally end up in the ring and Generico goes for the belts for like 2 seconds until the ladder gets turned into a weapon instead lol. This ladder has a little step that folds out to put things on bc it was purchased at whatever hardware store was near this arena I’m assuming lol We actually get a really fun wrestling exchange between Steen and Jay for a bit before Steen goes for the belts and Mark has to stop him with a springboard dropkick. These belts are way too high Mark could barely reach them if he was on the very top. The Briscoess are able to hit a double biel on Generico that sends him THROUGH the fucking ladder, that thing bent terribly. Jay tries to fix it but Mark just goes out and gets a taller ladder instead Jay tries to climb it, but Steen sends him into the same ladder to just fully destroy it. The ladders start really being used as a weapon now, shit looks so painful. A ladder gets set up between the barricade and the ring like a table, but it doesn’t get used yet so remember Chekhov's ladder. Generico comes running with a sick fucking Yakuza Kick onto the ladder which was between Mark and then Steen is able to hit this sick Awesome Bomb on Jay THROUGH THE FUCKING LADDER OUTSIDE Steen takes a sick bump off the ladder as he was reaching for the belts, the crowd was chanting “please don’t die” earlier and I’m kinda feeling that now. Jay then hits a Jay Driver onto the side of a ladder on Steen BRUH that had to have hurt so bad. Someone really should have gotten these streamers out of the ring, seems like a big safety hazard in a ladder match :hm: Mark ends up hitting a Shooting Star Press onto a ladder on Generico as Jay dives on Steen through a table on the outside. Mark then tries to climb this wobbly fucking ladder which wasn’t going well but then Generico just runs out and pushes THE LADDER HARD AF SO MARK GOES FLYING TO THE GROUND BRO THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEIR LIVES HE ALMOST LANDED ON THE GODDAM LADDER! Jay starts yelling at them to bring this giant maintenance Ladder from the crowd and THE CROWD SURFS THE LADDER TO JAY SO HE DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO GO GET IT They get it set up in the ring right when Generico recovers and the Briscoes are able to hit a Springboard Doomsday Device where Jay dives THROUGH the standing ladder Steen finally comes back in to stop The Briscoes from winning and drapes that ladder between the turnbuckle and the big ladder like another table and both he and Mark end up on top of it for Steen to hit a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER THROUGH THE LADDER JESUS CHRIST I think Generico is actually the first guy to touch the belts, but Jay is able to stop him and sets up another ladder on the other side like how Steen did and hits the Jay Driller through this one RIP Generico. Steen and Jay start climbing now and each guy grabs a belt before Steen ends up falling into one of the broken ladders but Jay can’t get the belts off bc he got the straps tangled up so Steen audibles and climbs back up and takes a couple more shots until Jay gets the belts down That ending really didn’t hurt anything even though it was obviously a fuck up, good little save by Steen to make that less awkward, plus the crowd was still hot af the whole time anyway.

This dumbass crowd chants “match of the year” and while yes this was great, you motherfuckers already had it in Morishima/Danielson like a month or two ago. After the match, Steen pushes Generico even though his big heel turn isn’t until two months later but this is solid continuity for their on again off again relationship this early.

Anyway the announcers do all the usual “signing off stuff” and you expect it to fade to black at any second but then some masked fans like that guy from the top of the show start yelling in the front row and Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs come into the ring as the Necro Butcher attacks The Briscoes from behind with barbed wire as that thot Lacey joins them. Butcher and Black take out The Briscoes and they use thing that held the belts to raise Jay upside down, but the PPV ends before anything else happens bc Jay starts dripping blood all over Jacobs during his promo announcing the AGE OF THE FALL and ROH was worried about that being shown on PPV, fucking pussies. You guys should look up the promo though, it's pretty cool, I'm just lazier than Fab and don't feel like linking it. Really good shit though, I ate it up when I first saw it as an edgy teenager, and I’m pretty sure this was the first thing I actually saw from ROH, granted it was like two years later still bc I didn’t know shit about them in 07. Like a lot of mid 2000s stuff, some of it is cringy, but overall I still fuck with it. AGE OF THE FALL!

 

[Chris]

Event: WrestleMania XXIV - The Biggest WrestleMania Under the Sun
Date: March 30, 2008
Venue: Florida Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,635
Commentators: Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross (RAW), Jonathan Coachman & Michael Cole (Smackdown), & Joey Styles & Tazz (ECW)

WWE Champion: Randy Orton
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho
World Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly
WWE Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix

World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
WWE United States Champion: Montel Vontavious Porter
WWE Tag Team Champions: John Morrison & The MIz

ECW Champion: Chavo Guerrero

Lillian Garcia welcomes us to the show before introducing John Legend to sing “America the Beautiful” with his heavenly voice. The typical WrestleMania video package plays with wrestlers talking about everything that’s happened this last year and how it’s led to this point.

JBL is out first and we get a replay of this Vince McMahon illegitimate son angle with Hornswoggle where JBL attempts murder Oh yeah SWERVE he’s actually Finlay’s son and speak of the devil Hornswoggle makes his return accompanying Finlay to the ring.

Belfast Brawl: Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle) vs John Bradshaw Layfield
Fun little brawl to start, weapons get introduced early and these guys are just killing each other. JBL has the advantage early until Finlay reverses a powerbomb attempt and they keep going back and forth with weapons until Hornswoggle gets involved to allow Finlay to take control and pulls out a table to set up in the corner, but his dumbass lets JBL get a hold of Hornswoggle while he was doing that so he’s taken out Finlay comes back and goes for a suicide dive but JBL FUCKING KILLS HIM WITH A TRASH CAN LID IN THE FACE Then out of nowhere JBL just randomly picks up a trash can and throws it at Hornswoggle who was just getting up out of the ring Finlay comes back with more weapon shots and then lacklusterly sends JBL into the table from earlier and gets a two count from that. JBL dodges the steel steps with a kendo stick shot to the legs and hits a Clothesline from Hell off the rebound to win. Good opening brawl, paced a little weird but it was solid.

We go backstage to the special hostess of WrestleMania and it’s fucking Kim Kardashian Mr. Kennedy comes up and says the winner will be the same guy to win it last year, MISTER KENNEDY!

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Carlito, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, John Morrison, Mr. Kennedy, Montel Vontavious Porter, & Shelton Benjamin
They got all 6 fucking announcers calling this BRUH it’s mostly JR and King tho. It starts off like your usual MITB match, everyone going for ladders until Morrison hits this sick springboard moonsault using a ladder to the outside onto half the guys. Morrison keeps shining with his ninja moves until Benjamin hits a tower of doom sunset flip powerbomb on Kennedy, taking out Morrison too. They try this spot where Benjamin rope walks and sends a ladder into Carlito, but it buckles when Benjamin tries to springboard back on it, shit was dangerous. A few guys are able to land their finishers before Benjamin is able to climb again, I swear he and Morrison the only ones that have done anything. Anyway, Kennedy and Carlito team up to send him out of the ring and crashing through another ladder in a sick bump Jericho is able to lock in the Walls of Jericho on the ladder to Morrison but has to let it go bc Kennedy goes for the briefcase, then Punk and Carlito both join them and all four guys end up just taking each other out like they do in ladder matches leaving MVP as the only man left alive so he starts climbing BUT WAIT MATT HARDY RETURNS AFTER FIVE MONTHS! He hits a Twist of Fate on MVP off the ladder to a huge pop before leaving. Two of the ladders end up wedged inside each other to make this FUCKING dangerous looking slingshot thing smh the spots these guys come up with. Jericho almost gets the briefcase but Carlito climbs up and SPITS AND APPLE IN HIS FACE Kennedy is able to push Carlito off, but Punk takes him out only for Jericho to hit a ladder assisted Codebreaker. Jericho has a clear path to the ladder, but Punk starts shaking it to prevent him from grabbing the briefcase. They both end up on top and the briefcase swings out of reach of both of them, they do a cool false finish where it looks like Jericho is gonna win, but Punk grabs his leg and pulls it through the ladder like a tree of woe and then climbs up to win his first of two MITB contracts. This was definitely a weaker MITB match tho, still a lot of fun, they’ve just gotten a lot better at pacing these multi-man ladder matches than they were now.

John Cena, Randy Orton, and Triple H are all shown looking serious getting ready for their triple threat match later.

Highlight package of the 2008 Hall of Fame with inductees Gordon Solie, Eddie Graham, Jack and Jerry Brisco, Mae Young, Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson, inducted by The Rock. And of course NAITCH! Howard Finkel then introduces all of them onto the stage like they always do, but Mae Young tries to strip Flair isn’t here since he’s got a match to prepare for but young Charlotte makes an appearance smh hardly recognized her.

Todd Grisham is backstage with the master of ceremonies for the playboy match later, fuckin’ Snoop Dogg He cuts a better promo than half the roster and says he finally found someone he’s seen eye-to-eye with and it’s fuckin’ Festus But Santino comes up and says “Mr. Snoopity Dogg” and says he’ll be there during the Playboy match, but Snoop just calmly gets a bell and threatens to ring it to set off Festus so Santino starts freaking out until Snoop rings the bell and Festus chases him away. Mick Foley then appears and tells us to “have a nice dizzle” and brings out Mr. Socko all swagged out with a chain BRUH

This next match is a “battle for brand supremacy” so Teddy Long is out here for Smackdown even though he’s just the assistant GM bc Vickie is busy with Edge I assume and we got William Regal for Raw.

Batista vs Umaga
Cole and King are calling this one. This is pretty meh, mostly just a lot of striking, but Batista is really bumping around, kinda exaggerated tho. It’s like Batista’s offense sucks but his selling is good and Umaga’s offense is fun but his selling sucks so both guys get the blame for why it sucks when Batista is in control but Umaga working over Batista isn’t that bad. UGH Umaga starts working nerve holds AKA worst rest hold of all time so NVM what I just said it’s all bad now. He’s softening up for the Samoan Spike but that’s also a shitty move so that doesn’t help much. This drags on until Batista makes a comeback and blocks the Spike before hitting a Spinebuster and BARELY hitting a Batista Bomb the impact was nice but he almost fucked that shit up lol At least that was kept short, but that’s about as forgettable of a ‘Mania match you’ll see.

At ringside, JR and King makes sure everyone knows the Floyd Mayweather/Big Show match is now no disqualifications and we got backstage to Mayweather with his boys before they show the Tale of the Tape which shows that Show is more than double this fucker’s size

Tazz and Joey Styles give us a replay of the battle royal on the pre-show (before pre-shows existed) that Kane won to challenge for the ECW Championship on the main show by last eliminating Mark Henry.

The ECW GM, Armando Estrada is in the ring to announce their one and only match of the night, did they not want to pay the regular ECW ring announcer a ‘Mania paycheck? They make a big deal about this since it’s the first (and only) time the ECW title is defended at ‘Mania.

ECW Championship: Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Kane
Kane doesn’t make his regular entrance, he just appears behind Guerrero who freaks out and runs at him to get caught in a Chokeslam and lose in 8 seconds. The ECW Championship was contested for 8 seconds in it’s only WrestleMania match LOL I wonder how much Joey and Tazz got paid for announcing tonight.

One of those “wish you were here” commercials play where Carlito tries to hit on Maria but gets attacked by a bird and then he kills it. This is one of those commercials that people complain about not flying in today’s society bc of PETA or something like it’s just the epitome of humor lmao Just give me more Snoop and Santino skits if they want comedy.

For some reason Raven Symone, like from That’s So Raven is in the ring. Oh she’s the Make-a-wish celeb this year to tell us how good of a company WWE is. Apparently King is a huge Raven fan just so you guys know.

That “Leave the Memories Alone” Naitch video package plays, and someone already started cutting these fuckin’ onions I gotta make a drink before I watch this again, god dammit Naitch has way too many matches showing up during this project getting me all emotional all the fucking time.

But just bc this is WWE and they gotta fuck something up, they let Mike Adamle interview Flair and ask what his game plan is tonight. Flair simply says “to be the man.”

Career Threatening Match: Ric Flair vs Shawn Michaels
I reviewed this earlier in the thread as a PWI MOTY and my opinions haven’t really changed, it’s a good but not great match but none of that matters because it’s just that special of a moment. They start with some back and forth chain wrestling and the crowd gets all the woo’s out of their system before Flair gets in Michaels’s face until Michaels slaps him so hard Flair bites his lip Then we get a chop battle filled with more woo’s and Flair starts doing all his usual offense before HE ACTUALLY HITS A CROSSBODY LIKE ITS 1983 Flair tries to focus on the leg, but Michaels kicks him out of the ring, but then misses this Asai Moonsault and lands hard af on the RAW announce table, right on his ribs. Flair works on the injured back/ribs now as JR mentions that lil Naitch is the ref and he’s been a Flair fan all his life Flair gets really gassed during this, but he keeps it up like the pro he is until Michaels is able to comeback and sends Flair hard over the top rope and this time Michaels is able to hit a huge Moonsault off the top rope to the floor Back in the ring, Michaels is able to start his signature stuff, but sells the ribs on his kip-up still, it’s kind of a weird exchange before Michaels hits his elbow drop. Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Flair counters into the Figure-4 after Michaels hesitated. It’s a shame Flair didn’t work the leg any before this, but Michaels is able to reverse it to get out anyway. They try a late chain wrestling exchange that doesn’t really work bc Flair couldn’t do the bridge, but Flair keeps control is able to lock in another Figure-4 and they work it for awhile with the crowd getting hot af until Michaels finally gets to the ropes. Flair gets cocky and taunts though and then walks right into Sweet Chin Music and BARELY gets the shoulder up at 2. Michaels yells at Flair to get back up for another one, but Flair stalls and hits a low blow without the ref seeing Michaels is able to lock in his Inverted Figure-4 to tease Flair tapping out to his own move for a bit, but Flair is able to get to the ropes. They have another chop battle until Michaels hits ANOTHER Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere, but he can’t make the cover bc he can’t end Flair’s career, so Flair starts getting up and Michaels measures him for another one. “I’m sorry I love you.”

The standing ovation and the tears all started before the ref counted three, after a bit Flair embraces his family before walking out to a chorus of woo’s.

Todd Grisham is backstage with the World Heavyweight Champion, Edge. He talks about watching his hero Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania VI when he lost, which was also when Edge lost his innocence He says that tonight everyone that counts on the Undertaker to win at WrestleMania every year are gonna get a cold hard dose of reality because 16-0 will not happen. Good shit.

We’re halfway done so we get some huge fireworks show for halftime I guess then they bring out a bunch of divas for the Lumberjill match up next. The Master of Ceremonies, Snoop is out next and gets in this swagged out golf cart that he drives to the ring while he makes the girls walk behind him He finally gets in the ring, gives a shout out to Naitch and then welcomes us to “BunnyMania” and introduces the participants. This has gotta be the last Playboy sponsored thing before WWE went PG, also Ashley is taking Candice Michelle’s place on like a week’s notice. Santino is out with the heels being hilarious, he’s gonna be the best part of this probably other than the fact that Snoop has a throne at ringside.

Playboy BunnyMania Lumberjill Match: Ashley & Maria vs Beth Phoenix & Melina (w/ Santino Marella)
Yeah this is what you’d expect, it’s pretty bad, Ashley kinda stands out with her lucha stuff but that’s just bc it’s different, it’s not really good. They do the typical lumberjack match nonsense, then some sloppy tag team moves before Maria is able to get a hot tag and takes it to the fucking champion Beth Phoenix as the lights go out and King asks in the most serious way “Wait did the Undertaker just arrive” They get the backups on as Maria keeps out-wrestling this dominating champion. Ashley takes out the heel lumberjacks as Maria hits this diving bulldog on Beth but Santino pulls her off to break up the pin and that just does it for King as he leaves the announce booth and knocks Santino out. But back in the ring, Beth his a fisherman suplex on Maria for the win.

After the match Santino is making fun of Maria so Snoop Dogg comes in and clotheslines him before making out with Maria.

We get a video package of the Orton/HHH/Cena feud from Raw. I remember being so surprised that this didn’t main event at the time just bc it’s the Raw title but it was def the right call. Cena has a marching band play him out complete with the drumline and twirlers, fuckin’ awesome. The results of the text message poll has fans picking Cena with 52% of the votes, Triple H with 40% and Orton retaining only has 8% fuckin’ marks. Man Orton’s old theme song fucking SLAPPED

WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs John Cena vs Triple H
Orton takes out HHH with his belt right when the match starts to start off the two in, one out stuff that dominates triple threat matches. This is actually a lot better than I remembered, not great or anything, but they all three mostly just brawl and there’s a lot of heat to it so it’s pretty fun. All the three man spots are great, i can kinda tell that this match was probably planned from start to finish with not much stuff called in the ring, but I think that really in this case because everyone seems to be where they need to be at the right time. Orton is the only guy that is able to keep control for more than a couple minutes and is able to hit a double rope hung DDT to both guys. Orton keeps fighting off small comebacks by both guys until HHH starts working over his knee. Cena gets back involved and Orton is able to hit the first finisher with an RKO on HHH out of nowhere, but then Cena locks in the STFU on Orton and they tease Orton about to tap until HHH stops him and bust out the INDIAN DEATHLOCK ON THE KNEE HE WORKED OVER EARLIER Cena is able to lock the STFU on Orton again after breaking up HHH’s hold, this time in the center of the ring, but HHH is back in and locks on what I want to say is the first Crossface since Benoit’s death a year prior, but I didn’t fact check that. It really wakes up the crowd, but Cena is able to make it to the ropes and then starts his Five Moves of Doom, then he and HHH counter each others’ finishers until HHH finally ends up hitting a Pedigree but OH SHIT Orton PUNTS him during the cover and falls on Cena for the win That finish was so nice, Orton said fuck your 8% on the texting poll LOL

Big Show/Floyd Mayweather video package airs. Oh shit I forgot Mayweather made it rain during his entrance

No Disqualification Match: Big Show vs Floyd Mayweather Jr. (w/ friends)
Easily one of the best celebrity matches in WWE history, it starts with Mayweather using his quickness to school Big Show at boxing, and then he gets one of his cornermen to give him some pimp chalice to drink water out of but Show comes running and KILLS this poor dude Show pulls him into the ring and makes Mayweather watch while he chops him and Mayweather has like no reaction lol Show finally gets a hold of Mayweather but gets caught with some right hands and Mayweather locks on a sleeper that turns into him hanging on for dear life and Show ends up stomping on his hand. BRUH Mayweather’s cornermen are hilarious, they just keep yelling “you can’t be doing this” as Show does his giant offense on Mayweather One of them says “this is for you kids baby” and that gets him up just in time to run into a sidewalk slam after some WOAT kicks that makes you realize why he chose boxing over kickboxing. Show keeps toying with him and basically becomes the face playing to the crowd and then they boo when the cornermen pull Mayweather to safety DOUBLE TURN! They say fuck it and try to leave but Show chases them down and just ragdolls his friends Show pulls Mayweather back into the ring but one of the dudes hits him with a chair so Show chokeslams him, but Mayweather gets the chair kills Show with it in the face over and over and then gets some brass knuckles that his friend was wearing as a chain and KOs Show with them to win by knockout even though that takes a 10 count when he could have put his foot on Show for 3 seconds and won sooner. They announce that Foyd is 40-0 now like this actually counts BROOOO

Another Wish You Were Here commercial airs. This one has Batista interrupt a proposal by some average guy to some hot girl and he takes the girl. These blew compared to the WrestleMania goes Hollywood ones for WM21.

Kim Kardashian is in the ring as the hostess to announce that they’ve set a new record for the Citrus Bowl attendance.

Video package for Undertaker/Edge airs, going over the Streak and Edge saying he’s gonna make him 15-1. Bro this is the first time I’ve heard Coach announce all night LOL Smackdown only had one exclusive match Also both world champions (ECW don’t count) came out last for their matches even though their opponents usually would

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs The Undertaker
This is a lot of fun, Edge comes out strong early to try and avoid any of Undertaker’s mind games, but he’s sloppy so Taker is able to keep control for the opening moments until Edge avoids a dive to the outside and Edge takes over working the mid section/back area which makes sense for the Spear and such. Taker is able to send Edge off the top rope to the outside in a pretty hard bump and then doe his huge dive over the top rope that’s always insane to watch. Taker’s back comes into play though and they go back and forth working over each other, it’s slow but not in a bad way, and Edge does a great job keeping all his offense focused on the back. Undertaker uses his brawling to comeback and starts his combo, but Edge comes back after Snake Eyes with this beautiful dropkick out of nowhere, great spot. They both keep countering and hit their secondary finishers for two counts each. More awesome countering with Edge hitting a superplex to reverse Old School. MORE FUCKING COUNTERS HOLY SHIT EDGE KEEPS REVERSING ALL THE BIG MOVES IT’S AWESOME Taker FINALLY hits the Last Ride, but is slow to the cover so Edge kicks at two. The ref ends up EATING this big boot by ‘Taker that Edge dodged lmao RIP Edge takes advantage by low blowing Taker and then takes a camera from a cameraman to hit Taker with it, but by this point the ref has rolled out of the ring bc he’s still out cold, but gets cocky and goes for a Tombstone on Taker and Taker is able to counter into his own. Still no ref though, BUT WAIT LIL NAITCH COMES SPRINTING DOWN THIS TWO MILE LONG RAMP He finally gets to the ring to make the count and of course Edge kicks at two. I want a time on Charles Robinson’s 100 yard dash tho. Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder comes running down now as opposed to the five minutes before where there were no refs bc they aren’t very bright and Taker chokeslams one onto the other outside the ring and turns right into a SPEAR but Taker kicks at 2 Edge measures for another Spear, but gets caught in the Hell’s Gate that apparently doesn’t have a name yet as Cole just says “THAT SUBMISSION HOLD!” but fuck it bc EDGE TAPS 16-0! Great match, even better decision to have it go on last.

After ‘Taker celebrates for a couple minutes we get a cool highlight video showing everything that happened tonight.

 

[Deezy]

Mayweather and Big Show would've stole the show if it wasn't for Flair/HBK.

Mania was pretty slept on but it delivered.

 

[Chris]

Mayweather and Big Show would've stole the show if it wasn't for Flair/HBK.

Mania was pretty slept on but it delivered.

Yeah I was skeptical about it getting best show bc 08 WWE was all over the place but I fucked with it, it just didn't have any super memorable moments outside of Flair's retirement

 

[Deezy]

Mayweather/Show was the reason I started thinking Triple H would do fine taking over, because he put that match together.

 

[Chris]

Event: Survivor Series - Spoilin’ for a Fight
Date: November 23, 2008
Venue: TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole (RAW), Jim Ross & Tazz (SmackDown), & Matt Striker & Todd Grisham (ECW)

World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Jericho
WWE Intercontinental Champion: William Regal
World Tag Team Champions: CM Punk & Kofi Kingston
WWE Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix

WWE Champion: Triple H
WWE United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin
WWE Tag Team Champions: The Colons (Carlito & Primo)
WWE Divas Champion: Michelle McCool

ECW Champion: Matt Hardy

A pretty awesome video package airs about Cena’s career and coming back to Boston to challenge for the title tonight against GOAT heel Jericho. JR and Tazz welcome us to the show and remind us the Jeff Hardy was found unconscious this morning so it’s questionable if he can compete in the triple threat match tonight smh trash ass angle.

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team HBK (The Great Khali, JTG, Rey Mysterio, Shad Gaspard & Shawn Michaels) (w/ Ranjin Singh) vs Team JBL (John Bradshaw Layfield, John Morrison, Kane, The Miz, & Montel Vontavious Porter)
Some fan tries to touch JBL during his entrance and he tells security to eject him Anyway, very mixed opinions on these teams and they got all fucking announcers talking since everyone is from all three brands. This heel Kane run was trash with the shitty Mysterio feud, Great Khali is in his first trash face run, MVP is in his trash losing streak gimmick, but maybe the gimmick and some of the talent can make something here. Mysterio/MVP start and have a fun exchange, then JTG/Mysterio do better double team work than all of Cryme Tyme’s existence, but fuck that MVP nails JTG with a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the quick elimination and he gets so hyped bc that’s his first pin in weeks and turns right into a Brain Chop from Khali to get eliminated as well UGH we get Khali/Kane now until Khali ends up hitting a Brain Chop but respects Kane enough not to pin him after and tags in Mysterio who climbs on Khali’s shoulders to hit a splash on Kane to eliminate him and probably end that shitty feud. Striker, JR, Cole, and even Grisham (he’s just bad at it) are trying so hard to call this match well and King and Tazz just keep making the shittiest jokes, they never need to call a match together ever. Morrison is in next and bumps really well for Mysterio and Shad before he’s able to isolate Shad and do some fun double team stuff with Miz. Shad ends up making a really fun comeback, kills Morrison with a clothesline, but he’s able to come back in time to distract Shad and allow Miz to hit the Reality Check to finish off Cryme Tyme, real fun sequence there.

We’re tied 3-3 now as Michaels makes his first appearance in the match (JBL still hasn’t), but he gets caught early by Miz and him and Morrison do their awesome slingshot double team move JBL finally comes in to attack the wounded Michaels and re-opens the eye injury from the Jericho feud Morrison starts mimicking Michaels’s signature shit bc he was supposed to be the next HBK, but he misses the elbow drop and Mysterio gets this awesome hot tag and eliminates Miz with a 619. He tries to do the same to Morrison but JBL tags in and KILLS him off the rebound and does what he does best, beat the fuck out of someone smaller than him. Morrison/JBL are able to isolate Mysterio for awhile, but Mysterio continues to be the MVP of this match with a cool comeback and a hot tag to Michaels who takes it to JBL, but they end up outside the ring and fuck around until they’re at a count of 9, but only Michaels makes it in so JBL is counted out BUT WAIT Morrison is measuring Sweet Chin Music, but Khali is useful and warns Michaels so he ducks and nails Morrison with it to win the match with Michaels, Mysterio, and Khali as the survivors. Not a bad match, especially to start the PPV, just an average or so elimination match really though.

JR says that Jeff Hardy has been released and the incident is under investigation, then we go backstage to Eve Torres with WWE Champion, Triple H and asks his reaction to the Hardy situation but he deflects it and tries to put over a on-on-one match with Vladimir Kozlov that’s happening now UGH.

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team Raw (Beth Phoenix, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall, Kelly Kelly, & Mickie James) (w/ Santino Marella) vs Team SmackDown (Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Natalya, & Victoria)
Both captains start this match which is kinda cool compared to last match so Michelle/Beth have a decent little exchange to start but then it all goes downhill from there as Maryse tags herself in and then pushes Michelle off the apron so they start fighting cause bitches be trippin so Maria ends up tagging herself in and oh god she has a terrible exchange with Kelly Victoria tries to play the veteran and tags herself in but instantly gets caught with a hurricanrana from Kelly to get eliminated LOL Maryse is in next and eliminates Kelly with a backbreaker. Michelle/Mickie have an actual wrestling exchange until Maria fucks up and accidentally hits Michelle so Mickie is able to hit her DDT to eliminate Michelle, but Maryse comes in and rolls-up Mickie for the win so Natalya/Candice end up getting in for the first time and Nattie locks in the Sharpshooter, but Jillian interferes and Candice eliminates Natalya with a Spear/Jacknife cover combo. Jillian/Maria have a WOAT exchange until Maria hits a victory roll to get the cover and eliminate Jillian, but Candice comes in with a Northern Lights Suplex to eliminate Maria. Candice is selling the Sharpshooter from earlier, but acts like she can’t walk even though she’s done shit since then so Maryse locks in Michaels’s version of the Figure-4 and Candice taps as the announcers are still making fun of it not being the correct version even though Michaels has been doing this one for over a year now. Beth/Maryse are left and you can tell they’re about to really push Maryse on Smackdown with how much she’s holding her own but Beth ends up hitting the Glam Slam for the win. There have been worse women’s elimination matches than this one, but not many.

They made Todd Grisham leave his announce desk to go interview ECW Champion Matt Hardy They ask him about Jeff’s “incident” and he clarifies for the first time that this is an angle as it wasn’t an overdose and Jeff was actually hit really hard in the back of the head, cool.

Video package of this Show/Taker feud that I completely forgot about. Then the druids take forever bringing the casket down to ringside.

Casket Match: Big Show vs The Undertaker
Yeah this blows, Big Show is just getting his big right hand finisher over so 99% of both guys’ offense is just punches and brawling outside but it’s pretty boring until Taker is able to use a computer monitor as a weapon and a huge leg drop through an announce table. Back in the ring, more striking until oh shit Show actually hits a suplex and a sidewalk slam before rolling Taker into the casket but he’s scared to touch it so he argues with lil Naitch for like two minutes about who has to close the lid, him or the refs by the time he finally tries to, Taker gets out of it obviously and ends up getting a nice comeback going and kicks Show into the casket, but Show blocks the door too and then just hits a Chokeslam out of nowhere. Show then knocks over the casket that the druids slaved under bringing down to the ring and says fuck this match but Taker sits up and looks PISSED and uses his powers to set fire to the top of the ramp so Show can’t run away and they start brawling up it but Show wins the exchange and starts leaving again but the druid music hits and they make another entrance and leave another casket on the stage where Show and Taker start brawling. Show stands the casket up, then they brawl over the stage area where they tease show falling, but Taker instead just throws him into the casket to win. Trash.

Backstage, The Colons try and hit on The Bella Twins but get them mixed up bc Nikki hasn’t had a boob job yet and Carlito says it’s just like when he mixed up his two pet chimpanzees as a child WHAT The fucking Gobbledy Gooker pops up though and Primo is like “I haven’t seen this guy since WrestleMania X-Seven” and they accuse it of being Charlie Haas, but Haas was just off screen so he says sup and then The Boogeyman’s music plays as he takes off the Gooker mask with a mouthful of worms under it. They been doing these same damn skits for so long now bro.

Team Orton is backstage and they’re all wearing black and gold well, Shelton Benjamin is only wearing gold and Cody Rhodes didn’t get the memo and wore blue and gold but it’s close enough Orton says they have their strengths (Mark Henry) and weaknesses (Rhodes), so Rhodes gets upset and says if Orton gets eliminated first they might as well call it addition by subtraction and they get in each other’s face as Orton says Rhodes better not screw this match up tonight.

Truth gets way more of a reaction during his entrance in 2018 than 2008 All six announcers for this match again since all three brands are here but at least we get more Striker references.

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team Batista (Batista, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, & Matt Hardy) vs Team Orton (Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Shelton Benjamin, & William Regal) (w/ Layla, Manu, & Tony Atlas)
Punk eliminates Regal with a GTS in like 12 seconds so FUCK THIS oh well Regal leaves with Layla so maybe they went to bang in the back. They show a replay after that elimination of Layal throwing her heel HARD AF at Punk’s face and almost knocking his eye out Striker busts out the “honestly, who throws a shoe” line GOAT! This match is solid, booked way better than the opener as they mostly keep the more talented guys in the ring. Good exchanges from Kofi/Benjamin, Kofi/Rhodes and Hardy/Benjamin before Batista comes in and dominates Benjamin before Hardy/Orton get the tags and Orton tags in Henry after a missed moonsault by Hardy. They go back and forth with quick exchanges and tags some more, doing a good job getting everyone involved until Truth gets eliminated by Paydirt from Benjamin, nice bc Truth was getting sloppy af the more he was in the ring. Kingston comes off the top rope and Striker goes “The Jamaican getting high” Some of Kingston’s sloppiness is showing too as he’s still young, but it’s not bad. Team Orton is able to pick apart Kingston for a bit until Orton finishes him with the rope-hung DDT. Punk tries to come in but ends up getting isolated too but then has a great comeback against Rhodes but then Manu distracts him and Rhodes hits a DDT to eliminate Punk. The ECW rivalry of Hardy/Henry keeps up as Hardy gets caught in a World’s Strongest Slam to leave Batista alone against Team Orton minus Regal so he comes in quick with a Spear to Henry for the elimination then a Spinebuster/Batista Bomb combo to eliminate Benjamin. Rhodes is in next and Batista keeps talking shit to Orton as he’s killing his team Manu interferes again, but Batista knocks him off the apron and goes for a Batista Bomb, but Orton is able to tag himself in and measures the RKO as Batista is confused why the ref won’t count and then Batista finally turns into it to lose the match. Rhodes and Orton are your survivors, pretty fun match.

Eve Torres is backstage with Vladimir Kozlov and asks him if the fact that Jeff Hardy MIGHT not compete tonight has any effect on him (so he’s not even officially ruled out of the match that up next? smh). Kozlov says something in Russian and then says it makes no difference because tonight “I will become da champion.” JR clarifies that Jeff cannot compete tonight so it’s a one-on one match, and then we get this video package for the match that pretty much only shows Hardy Really good build-up for a shitty bait and switch on the day of the PPV. Honestly, even in hindsight I’d almost believe Hardy was legit hurt bc of how outlandish it is to give Kozlov a one-on-one world title match.

WWE Championship: Triple H (c) vs Vladimir Kozlov
Anyway, this sucks. Kozlov sucks and HHH is forced to wrestle a basic, boring match because they decided to give this fuck a singles World Title shot in his first PPV. Crowd chants “we want Hardy” early as they keep the basic ground game going. It picks up a little when HHH busts out his signature knees, and Kozlov’s selling is kinda funny, it’s not super bad or anything but you can tell he’s never really done it. Small “TNA” chant starts. Kozlov finally gets offense in after he reverses a Pedigree with a battering ram but they’re still barely doing anything other than killing time by going outside the ring, like all of Kozlov’s offense feels like it’s in slow motion. Kozlov works a bearhug for what feels like hours until HHH gets out and hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and both guys are down. Then SmackDown GM Vickie Guerrero comes out saying she promised this would be a triple threat match and HE’S HERE! So the crowd pops huge cause they think it’s Hardy, but instead Edge comes out so he’s added to the match now. Edge hits a Spear on HHH BUT OH SHIT JEFF HARDY COMES RUNNING DOWN TO A HUGE POP! He attacks Edge, then gets chair but accidentally hits HHH with it, then purposely hits Kozlov with it before eating a Spear from Edge. Edge then covers HHH and wins. Top 5 WOAT booking if you factor in the angle and various match changes and then the guy that was originally supposed to compete runs in anyway. It was great for Vickie and Edge’s heat though, I’ll give them that, plus Hardy winning in the triple threat match next month is still a great moment.

Another video package of the Cena/Jericho feud airs, this one showing Jericho’s rise to greatness in ‘08. Then they hype up Cena making his return to Boston coming off an injury...and getting a title shot his first match back lol

World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs John Cena
This is booked kinda weird, I mean it all makes sense it’s just a weird pace and such. Jericho acts super cautious bc it’s Cena but he’s also coming off an injury and it’s almost like that makes him even stronger here though since it’s his return. Plus there’s also the crowd and what not, but man Jericho looks like a super weak champion here, even for a chicken shit heel. The back and forths are fine, but the transitions between who has control are kinda weird, honestly this match looks like someone playing a WWE game as Cena against a pretty decent computer character in Jericho because it feels like Cena is just doing random moves and every now and then Jericho reverses and does some strikes. Jericho does target the injured neck a little and then it really comes into play when Cena considers going up top but decides not to bc he got injured on his leg drop bulldog attempt. Jericho takes advantage now and really starts working on the neck, kicking him into the ring post and Cena just gets in at a count of 9. Jericho keeps taking it to Cena outside, slamming him into the steel steps before slowing it down in the ring and stopping a couple Cena comebacks. Jericho busts out the classic Full Nelson, love that he’s sticking with the body part instead of doing his usual stuff but LOL at Cena letting a Full Nelson get locked on over those traps Cena is able to make a comeback that I wish the crowd cared more about because it’s pretty fun. Jericho stops the Five Knuckle Shuffle and locks on the Walls of….NO THE LIONTAMER SO HE CAN TARGET THE INJURED NECK FUCK YES Neither Cole nor King correctly call the hold UGH but Cena uses his scary strength to fight out, but Jericho just locks in the regular Walls of Jericho next move so IDK the point of that other than we get Cena’s DETERMINED rope crawl lol like Cena was gonna tap. Jericho thinks the ref broke the hold bc Cena tapped so he turns into an FU out of nowhere so both men are down. After a collision, both guys fight their way up to the top turnbuckle and Cena ends up sending Jericho to the mat and facing his fears by hitting his leg drop bulldog, but Jericho reverses an FU into a Codebreaker, but covers slow for only a two count, a very close fucking two count though. Also Jericho busted himself open a little from a headbutt while him and Cena were on the turnbuckle Jericho then just starts hitting clotheslines and yelling at Cena to get up after each one even though he takes forever to get up from selling the neck. Cena dodges the third into an STFU in the center of the ring, but Jericho is still able to crawl towards the rope, so Cena goes to pull him back but Jericho almost wins with a Small Package that Cena reverses using his strength into an FU for the win, really love that ending sequence other than those dumb clotheslines.

Overall fuck this PPV but it’s way better than some of the WOATs I’ve received so far, mostly fuck the Hardy angle and that bullshit WHC match, and if the Survivor Series matches and Cena/Jericho would have been just a little bit better they may have made up for it.

 

[Chris]

Event: Victory Road
Date: July 19, 2009
Venue: TNA Impact! Zone in Orlando, Florida
Attendance: ~1,100
Commentators: Don West & Mike Tenay

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm & Robert Roode)
TNA X Division Champion: Homicide
TNA Legends Champion: AJ Styles
TNA Women’s Knockout Champion: Tara
Feast or Fired Heavyweight Championship Contract: Hernandez

This was in the middle of the Main Event Mafia angle so pretty much every main match tonight is old guy vs young guy or old guy vs old guy.

TNA Women’s Knockout Championship: Tara (c) (w/ Poison) vs Angelina Love [(w/ The Beautiful People (Madison Rayne & Velvet Sky)]
Velvet was in peak form with her entrance, also Tara has her tarantula, Poison with her that Love is scared of. This match is whatever though, about what you’d expect from two decent girls wrestling a typical 09 women’s match. Tara owns at first until The Beautiful People interfere and allow Love to take over and works the back but it’s pretty boring filler stuff, but Don fuckin’ West busts out a Bobo Brazil reference that Tenay shits all over bc it didn’t make sense, damn Mike everyone can’t be a professor They do the double clothesline spot and holy shit this crowd is hot af, counting along to just this double countout, I hope they stay like this the whole show. Tara starts up a comeback, hasn’t started shaking her ass before her standing moonsault though. Velvet tries to interfere but accidentally sprays hairspray in Love’s eyes, but the ref is too busy yelling at Velvet to count Tara’s roll-up. He sends The Beautiful People to the back, then Tara misses a moonsault, but is able to get her foot on the ropes before the count of three, but this shitty ref doesn’t notice so Love wins Angelina’s reaction to Tara’s foot getting the ropes was hilarious though, but fuck this fuckery.

After the match, Tara argues with ref Slick Johnson and then superkicks him and nails Love with the Widow’s Peak and teases the tarantula but Velvet and Madison save Love so she lets the spider crawl around on the ref.

Tenay and West run down the line-up for the card, IDK why the ran a championship match first, but man this show looks like trash, just a lot of singles matches that I know aren’t going to click.

Jeremy Borash is backstage in the Mafia’s locker room interviewing Kurt Angle, and he actually says “don’t expect a quality PPV match tonight” between him and Foley Angle says all he cares about is being the best and tells the rest of the Mafia that if they don’t all win by either pinfall or submission, he’s firing them ON THE SPOT!

A video package hyping Matt Morgan plays before his match against Christopher Daniels (who doesn’t even have a first name rn smh) tonight, he’s just trying to impress the Mafia so they’ll let him join.

Daniels vs Matt Morgan
Morgan just kills Daniels with his power to start doing all this basic big man shit, but Daniels’s short burst of offense are super fun, but pretty quick Daniels starts selling his previously injured leg so Morgan turns his attention to it for a bit and alternates working the ankle and doing his usual squash offense. Once again this crowd is super hot and helps out Morgan’s heat a lot bc this is starting to get kinda boring. Daniels still has some fun spots, but he’s limited by selling his leg, but this fucking crowd still chants for the BME so he goes for it and his ankle gives out on the middle ropes this is why Daniels shouldn’t listen to fans. Morgan hits him with the Carbon Footprint right after and then his suplex into a front slam move that I forgot the name of for the win. Just an extended Morgan squash, only parts that were fun was Daniels offense and selling, not shit Morgan did even though I remember being on is bandwagon around this time, IDK what I was thinking.

JB is back with Dr. Stevie and Daffney questioning them about all the fucked up shit they’ve done to Abyss this feud. Stevie compares “Chris” to a painting that he’s been working on for a decade now so tonight he’s going to step in the ring with his friend Abyss and despite of the size difference, Stevie has the advantage bc he respects his mind compared to his body JB’s got this look the whole time like “Bruh you’re about to die out there”

Video package for the feud airs, shit is so hilariously bad. Abyss debuts the ring gear he’s gonna wear for years afterwards.

No Disqualification Match: Abyss vs Dr. Stevie
Abyss runs after Stevie right off the bat, but Stevie has a tire iron or something and starts attacking Abyss with it. This is really a lot of nothing, just shitty brawling and not near enough weapon use. Stevie keeps trying to retreat so Abyss has to keep chasing him into the crowd, but they don’t do shit, like there’s not one notable spot other then Stevie getting busted open from getting sent to the steps, way too much of a blade job for that spot Somehow the crowd is still super into this show though which once again helps a lot but not near enough. Abyss hits the Shock Treatment but picks up Stevie before the count of three UGH! Daffney comes down right after with a taser as Stevie hits a low blow but this Lauren chick they kidnapped comes down to take Daffney out despite not being a wrestler. Stevie ends up with the taser but runs into the black hole slam without using it and then tasers Stevie which had this hilarious smoke effect. Oh Abyss finally pins and wins after that thankfully.

Mick Foley is backstage with Beer Money and AJ Styles to give a pep talk about their matches against the Main Event Mafia.

British Invasion/Team 3D video package airs, looks to have been kind of a clusterfuck working in the IWGP titles with the Tag Titles, but I barely remember this.

IWGP Tag Team Championship: Team 3D (Brother Devon & Brother Ray) (c) vs The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams) (w/ Rob Terry)
Williams and Devon do this mat exchange and these fuckers booked Devon to be William’s equal That doesn’t last long but Devon’s regular offense fucking sucks too, fucking Ray sucks too they were just crazy phoning it in during this time for sure. Magnus is still green af too, he really improves a lot but for now he blows too. Williams tries his best, he really does but it’s mostly just regular heel stuff, isolating one guy with dirty tactics with Rob Terry getting involved some too. Ray gets isolated for a while, most of it is boring and the crowd has finally died down too. Devon gets the hot tag to a completely dead crowd so it sucks. Team 3D start hitting their signature stuff and then get tables for some reason even though it’s not no DQ. Terry attacks Devon as he pushes the table in and the ref must have not seen it bc the table was blocking his view? BRUH Slick Johnson the WOAT ref. Ray sets up the table but starts getting double teamed as Slick struggles to get rid of the table. Ray goes for the Bubba Bomb but Terry is back in and accidentally takes out Williams so the they’re able to hit a 3D for the win. Crowd finally died during this match, surprised it took this long tbh.

Right after the match Sheik Abdul Bashir (Daivari) and Kiyoshi attack them bc all foreigners hate Americans. Team 3D fight back and hit the Assisted Powerbomb through the table on Bashir and the crowd livens back up a little.

Tenay and West discuss the controversy from the opening match about Tara’s foot being on the ropes and send it ot the back to Lauren with ref Slick Johnson and asks him about his decision and he admits he made a mistake and cost Tara the title but the refs decision has to be final so he’s gonna go to Jim Cornette and request that Tara gets a rematch (got a rematch clause anyway tho?)

Jenna Morasca (w/ Awesome Kong) vs Sharmell (w/ Sojourner Bolt)
Bruh I really forgot this match was on this card smh still can’t believe they actually let this happen. Jenna’s tries to be super slutty entering the ring and Sharmell has this hilarious expression Anyway this fucking sucks because they aren’t wrestlers and Sharmell is wrestling in a dress, but at least she’s got boots on. They do some WOAT catfighting, Sharmell actually locks in a Camel Clutch at one point but it isn’t sold like it’s a real move. Bolt gets involved for Sharmell, I guess they’re the heel heels in this heel vs heel match since Jenna is a celebrity. Jenna gets mad after a slap and hits the WOAT slaps of all time that gets boos from the crowd They do the ref spot where they roll over Earl Hebner and Jenna ends up pulling out part of Sharmell’s extensions Bolt tries to get involved again but Kong stops her this time, well Jenna hits her off the apron and Kong was supposed to catch her but she straight up missed and Bolt crashes to the floor Kong plays with it first but then gives Sharmell’s hair back before sucker punching her. Jenna basically rides Sharmell’s face for the pin but thank god that’s over.

Jenna goes back to heel mode after the match and starts yelling at Kong to lift her up to celebrate but gets fed up with Kong’s shit and does another weak ass slap So Kong kills her with a slam and splash that Jenna was so terrified to take

JB is back with Kevin Nash and asks him about Angle’s declaration that anyone who loses tonight will be fired, so Nash does the political answer talking about how Angle won a gold medal with a BROKEN FREAKIN NECK and that they’re the MAFIA while these young guys have been here forever and haven’t done anything so that’s why they will dominate tonight over them. Pretty good little promo.

Styles/Nash video package, it’s just old vs young guy shit, money vs passion stuff.

TNA Legends Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs Kevin Nash
Styles has a good strategy, trying to go for Nash’s legs and also using his speed to keep up distance, but Nash is able to close in the distance and use his power. Lots of stalling, Styles tries to sell his best but Nash is moving in slow motion doing the same offense he’s had since 97, this offense is fucking trash until he’s able to somehow able to get his foot barely over the top rope to kick Styles off the top rope, nasty little bump where Styles hits his head on an empty beer bottle Styles fights back but he can only do punches and kicks cause that’s all Nash will sell. He goes back to the leg which is better than punch punch kick but Nash just lays there, he barely sells anything. Styles is able to hit the springboard forearm but it’s not his finish yet so it gets two. Crowd comes back alive for a pele kick which gets a closer near fall so he goes for another springboard forearm but Nash fucks it up by shoving the ref towards Styles and hitting this Chokeslam out of nowhere for the win WAIT WHAT

Nash celebrates the fact that he’s winning titles in 09 and Styles sells the loss like it was a roll-up bc that’s what they were going for, some fluke victory I guess but the dude laid him out with that Chokeslam so I’m not getting that vibe.

Lauren is backstage trying to talk to Tara in the women’s locker room but REFEREE SLICK JOHNSON COMES OUT OF THE SHOWERS SHIRTLESS but he says he was getting his spider bite looked at bc he could die if it gets infected Madison Rayne then comes out and tells Lauren to mind her own business and keep her mouth shut even though it was just broadcast on PPV.

Video package for Beer Money vs Booker/Steiner, was just thrown together so MEM got all the titles tbh, they had like one face-to-face meeting with some solid shit from Storm and Booker on the mic though. They push this as Harlem Heat and the Steiners teaming together but we all know this is not the same Scott.

TNA World Tag Team Championship: Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm & Robert Roode) (c) vs The Main Event Mafia (Booker T & Scott Steiner)
Again this is just whatever, it’s not terrible or anything but there’s absolutely no positive I can really give it either. 90% of the match is strikes, I Think Roode actually tries a few wrestling move but he’s the only one. The MEM is able to use eye pokes mostly to keep control for the most part, just another boring match though. Some of the double team the Mafia use would have been fun if it wasn’t so half-assed and they're trying really hard to sell the quick tags to show they’re tag team experts while they isolate Storm. Storm manages to hit a tornado DDT on Steiner to get Roode his hot tag and Roode looks great even though Steiner kinda messed up a neckbreaker, the crowd is dead though. Beer Money are able to hit their awesome clothesline/backstabber combo for a two count, but then Booker comes in and takes out Storm allowing Steiner to hit the Flatliner for a close two count. Storm spits beer in the face of Steiner and Earl Hebner acts like it got him too even though I don’t think it did so Beer Money can’t win after the DWI even though Earl does start the count and Booker still ends up pulling him out...oh and Steiner also kicked out bc no one knew the fucking spot Hebner starts yelling at Storm about the beer and meanwhile Booker is able to hit this sweet Axe Kick over the ropes on Roode and Steiner rolls him up for the win….only Storm saw it before Hebner and had to crawl in the ring slower even though he easily could have stopped the pin in time. Loltna

JB is at ringside for a post-match interview with the new champs and Booker is lit af Steiner calls them the greatest of all time and says that Angle is gonna take down Mick Foley later, guess they don’t give a fuck about Joe’s match.

Anyway, Lauren is with Joe asking him about his mysterious mentor that Joe has....meanwhile Joe is standing there with a towel covering his head and doing the Taz arms crossed pose lol subtle. Joe says his advisor is here tonight and he’s ready for war and Joe is gonna deliver him Sting’s head. Lauren’s facial expressions are top 5 hilarious all time.

Video package of Joe/Sting feud which is mostly about Joe replacing Sting in the Mafia. “FTW 13” pops up plenty of times during the video package but I WONDER WHO THE ADVISOR IS!

Samoa Joe vs Sting
Ugh this Joe ring gear and facepaint is so bad. They end up in the crowd within a minute of the match like this is the Attitude Era and slam each other into The Beautiful People’s tits on a poster in the crowd area. The ref is with them but it’s Slick Johnson so I’m not surprised he’s doing a terrible job. Joe hits a suplex on the ramp, bu Sting turns it around a minute or so later, sending Joe into the steps before they FINALLY get in the ring for like two minutes until Joe sends Sting outside and hits a suicide dive which heels should never do so casually. Joe’s offense is pretty basic, mostly the stuff he does in his TV matches nowadays. Sting makes his basic ass comeback but man at least you can tell he’s putting in effort and not just phoning things in like half this card. The crowd livens up as Sting locks in the Scorpion Deathlock but then some music starts to play as Joe is just writhing in pain in this man’s finisher. Taz comes out and for some reason Sting just kinda lets the hold go and Joe does like a Hulk Up taunt to no-sell the hold, but Sting lands the next few moves to ruin any momentum Taz’s appearance was supposed to have on Joe. Joe catches Sting on the top rope and really fucks up the Muscle Buster, IDK who’s fault that was but they make a good audible into the Coquina Clutch and Sting ends up tapping out. You gotta plan out the fuckery spots better than this if you’re gonna have fuckery. Terrible debut for Taz as well.

Replay of this Bobby Lashley ESPN video where he announces he’s signed with TNA but his sights are set on BROCK maybe one day. Don West puts over Angle and the Mafia for this signing and Tenay can’t even say anything to put over their own company bc in kayfabe rn Angle is running things

JB is backstage with a man who I never believed would be challenging for a world title in 2009...Mick Foley. Foley says he obviously doesn’t match-up well with Angle but he’s got two things going for him, he had Angle laid out after a big elbow at Slammiversary….wait that’s his big strategy, go for that elbow and hope it works again? But fuck that Foley says he went to congratulate Angle after that match and overheard a doctor telling Angle his neck is fucked up but he’ll be okay soon if not for any unforeseen circumstances in the next few weeks well WELCOME TO YOUR UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCE! Foley is always good for a solid promo when you need one.

Foley/Angle video package, this kind of covers the whole Mafia angle up until this point so they could have just used it for all those other thrown together matches tonight. They show the tale of the tape before this match and HOLY SHIT Angle has only been wrestling for 10 years at this point, I know that’s true it just feels so wild bc I always forget how short his original WWE run was since he was basically main eventing the whole time. Oh I also just realized these are the last two Raw GMs JB is in the ring and does the main event introductions.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs Mick Foley
They sell Angle’s neck bothering him early and every time he tries to use some technical move, Foley just catches him with a right hand, and Angle keeps leaving the ring to stall so finally Foley goes out after him and we get the same we’ve had all night, just random shots to the rail and punches and shit. Crowd is hot again at least but this has been all Foley’s match which is not what I wanted in 2009. They end up outside again and Foley goes for a piledriver, but Angle backdrops him ONTO THE STEPS pretty sick bump on Foley’s legs. Foley’s selling his left knee so Angle goes after it with kicks and mostly basic stuff. Angle is able to finally outwrestle Foley some and lock on the Ankle Lock, but he hasn’t done enough damage so Foley is able to roll out. Angle misses his moonsault giving Foley a chance to recover and hit the double arm DDT to continue working on the neck. Foley pulls out Mr. Socko but Angle ends up shoving Foley in the ref and kicking him in the dick and an Angle Slam that the recovered ref is able to count but Foley kicks at 2 so Angle drops an elbow on the ref cause he’s pissed Angle goes out and gets a chair but Foley locks on the Mandible Claw instead and sends Angle to the floor to hit that Elbow Drop he mentioned in his promo Say what you want but Foley’s strategy was work the neck and 100% of his very limited offense was directed to it and then hit that Cactus Elbow so if he doesn’t win then his plan was the problem. Angle looks dead as Foley rolls him in but he does one of his GREAT last second kickouts that the crowd barely reacts to smh. Foley locks in a scissored Mandible Claw which I’ve never seen him do before but Angle is able to counter out into the Ankle Lock again and they work it for a bit until Foley gets the the ropes but Angle just pulls him into the center of the ring and scissors the Ankle Lock this time so Foley has to tap. Not how I would have booked that but still a better match than I would have expected, Angle just needed way more offense.

The Mafia comes out to celebrate with Angle, bringing out all their new belts as Tenay calls this a worst case scenario for TNA Angle spits on Mr. Socko smh the disrespect. They show replays of all the matches from the night, but like not even as a video package just with the announcers recapping all the fuckery endings. This show was so forgettable I forgot half the undercard even happened and I just watched it.

 

[Deezy]

handprints all over it.

 

[Crippler]

I'm glad you had to suffer the Morasca/Sharmell match after making me review it years ago.

 

[Chris]

I'm glad you had to suffer the Morasca/Sharmell match after making me review it years ago.

This is twice in one thread motherfucker bc it was WOAT match of 09

 

[Deezy]

Couldn't even masturbate to Jenny Morasca....or Sharmell.

 

[Chris]

Event: Open the Historic Gate
Date: Taped July 25, 2009 aired September 4, 2009
Venue: The Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Chikarason & Lenny Leonard

For some reason Dawn Marie is the host so she welcomes us to the show crowd chants “DRAGON GATE!” real loud instead of “ECW” or something which is crazy since their in the old ECW arena but I'm glad bc she goes right to the first match. BxB Hulk is out first with these fine dancers but then he gets in the ring and does his best Too Cool impression with his own dancing

BxB Hulk vs YAMATO
They start slow with some great technical exchanges on the mat, nothing crazy just awesome and fluid. They speed it up running the ropes and hitting some spinny shit with Hulk taking control but he gets cocky so YAMATO is able to counter into a kneebar and then starts really targeting the leg after sending Hulk outside the ring. This leg work is great but the crowd boos him bc they still know how faces and heels work even though I most def support YAMATO over this dancing fuck. Hulk’s selling is also great, he keeps making comebacks but gets stuffed bc he can’t move as fast as he wants. YAMATO locks on a sleeper at one point as a counter but remembers he’s targeting the leg and transitions to another kneebar I’m not gonna lie I’ve never seen this show and this leg selling is already better and more of it than I thought I’d see and we’re only in match number 1. Hulk starts making his comeback and kinda stops selling right when I praise him but I do notice that anytime he hits a kick it’s usually with his good leg at least. I kinda don’t even care that he doesn’t sell while he’s doing his offense either bc he grabs it as soon as the combo is done and that’s better than most people, and the crowd is also super hot for him. They keep up these hot exchanges with some really solid spots until YAMATO is able to lock on a Cloverleaf and the crowd instantly chants “Please don’t tap” and he fights out and manages to counter some of YAMATO’s bigger moves before they end up on the top rope where Hulk hits a super exploder, great shit. Hulk has completely stopped selling the leg unfortunately, it’s been a little while since YAMATO targeted it anyway, but he’s now hitting kicks with both legs. Hulk is able to hit this Emerald Flowsion finish he calls the EVO but YAMATO gets his foot on the ropes. Hulk misses a Phoenix Splash and OH SHIT sells the knee again and YAMATO hits a brainbuster for a really close two count. The crowd tries to get Hulk back into it but he gets caught with this sick sleeper suplex for another close two count. YAMATO is finally able to hit this sick piledriver variation that I didn’t catch the name of to get the win, great opener for the most part.

2 Cold Scorpio vs Ken Doane
Why is spirit squad Kenny on this card This crowd just shits all over him, they barely even do anything at the beginning and we’ve already got “Kenny Dykstra”, “Spirit Squad”, “We Want Ziggler”, and my personal favorite “Where’s you pom-poms?” chants This match really ain’t shit though and it’s super out of place on this card, the smarky fucks in the crowd actually make it better. The action itself isn’t bad by any means, they just don’t do anything since this is obvious filler, like in 5 minutes they’ve had like one exchange and the rest is them listening to the crowd and Doane stalling. Scorpio’s dancing has gotten so much weirder with age, like he uses it to Hulk up and it’s fuckin’ weird but as the match goes on, Doane is looking more impressive but it’s probably bc I was shitting on him so much up until now, but he has some pretty nice combos and his rest holds have some heat bc this crowd fucking loves Scorpio. I don’t think Doane has wrestled much since he left WWE bc towards the end he’s breathing so hard and has to pause on the top turnbuckle before he misses his Sky High Leg Drop, but then he gets the knees up on Scorpio’s moonsault attempt. Scorpio fights back and wins with this Moonsault double stomp BUT LANDS RIGHT ON DOANE’S FACE HOLY SHIT!

Scorpio helps Doane up and his nose is bleeding from that death stomp but it doesn’t look broken. They shake hands and fist bump smh Doane a pussy for not shoot fighting him for the finish.

We get a look into the locker room of Naruki Doi who’s the current Open the Dream Gate Champion. The narrator talks him up while he gets ready for his main event tonight. They do the same thing for his opponent, Shingo.

Amasis, F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma & Icarus), & Hallowicked vs The Colony (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant), Jigsaw, & Mike Quackenbush
I fucks with the CHIKARA showcase, lowkey what I wish 205 Live was like. Hallowicked is out of place on the heel team but it’s cause someone was injured and CHIKARA did a random drawing to see who would get on the team and it’s just a showcase for the company anyway so it works since Hallowicked is over af. UGH this has those dumb rules where if anyone leaves the ring then another teammate can come in without a tag but whatever it’s a flippy indy showcase anyway so who needs tags. They give this a lot of time so everyone can get their shit in and it’s all good, no one really stands out though which IMO has always been CHIKARA’s problem, everything is solid but there’s never any stars. Icarus and Akuma get some amazing heat that helps their iso against Soldier Ant which I can’t criticize in any way except under these dumb no tag rules, he can just roll out of the ring on any side and never need to tag. He still makes the hot tag though to Quackenbush so all is well. Quack and Jigsaw have some phenomenal double team work and then everyone really starts going all out with a super fast pace until the heels start isolating Jigsaw who I think I’m giving MVP of the match so far between his offense and how well he’s bumping around. One thing I’ve also noticed is that while Hallowicked will do double team moves with his heel partners, they’re all “legal” for the most part and he doesn’t participate in any of the dirty tactics like holding Jigsaw in the corner from the apron and stuff, say what you want about CHIKARA but they do faces and heels right. Jigsaw has this awesome one-man comeback and says FUCK it and hits a dive to the outside instead of tagging bc it’s the same thing and he recognizes this as the MVP. We get some more super fast-paced lucha shit by everyone else, some really solid double team by The Colony and the other faces. The faces all start getting on fire after Icarus goes for Jigsaw’s mask and take out all the heels with crazy dives outside of the ring and Jigsaw is able to win with this reverse piledriver move that MY MOTHER FUCKING MVP CALLS THE “JIG & TONIC” As much as I hate the no tags necessary rule in tag team wrestling, I can’t act like I still didn’t love this match or even say that the rules hurt it in anyway. Fuck that rule though.

Quackenbush gets a mic afterwards and mentions how Dragon Gate and CHIKARA make a splendid conversation but they’re all part of the same extended family because of the training they’ve received from Jorge Rivera, an unsung luchador that helped train most of the DG and CHIKARA roster. We get a video package honoring him that was like 15 seconds of sped up CHIKARA footage and then a picture of him with Microsoft Paint text saying “Thank you Jorge Rivera” Quack says he feels like a sibling rivalry is growing between DG and CHIKARA so he issues an open challenge for anyone from DG to pick any CHIKARA wrestler and see who wins. YAMATO from the first match comes out and he speaks Japanese but they translated it for us thankfully and he says “I don’t know who you are” and “Who’s Jorge Rivera” BRUH and then kicks him in the dick Jigsaw comes out to make the save along with Gran Akuma but AKUMA TURNS ON CHIKARA and takes them out with YAMATO. Some other CHIKARA wrestlers come out to make the save but they dip and YAMATO flips them all off Lince Dorado cameo towards the end.

Dragon Kid (w/ Shingo) vs Masato Yoshino (w/ Naruki Doi)
These two have had a long standing feud according to the announcers and it shows bc their chemistry is insane with how fast-paced they’re moving without any sloppiness. I’m always surprised every time I watch a Dragon Kid match how fucking fast this dude can actually move. Yoshino works the arm for some reason when it would be smarter to target a leg to stop his flippy shit, but also everyone knows Kid ain’t gonna sell shit so might as well go for the arm to not hurt the match as much by the lack of selling. Kid does sell it for the most part when he starts his comeback which is very kick and speed heavy so once again good decision to book Yoshino to go for the arm otherwise I’d have more to criticize rn. Kid ends up having a really fun comeback, I’m amazed none of this flippy shit is botched with how fast he’s doing it, these two gotta have so much trust in each other even though these announcers mention that Kid broke Yoshino’s neck in the last match they had or something Yoshino tries to get stuff going again but Kid is just way too fast, landing these hurricanrana/619 combos in like 5 total seconds but then Kid goes for like his 10th hurricanrana attempt and gets slammed with a Powerbomb instead, one of my favorite simple counters. Yoshino dumb af bc every time he gets a move in he gives space which allows Kid to counter his very next move with his speed or kicks. Both guys end up on the very top rope and Kid is able to hit this sick super hurricanrana for a close two. Yoshino comes back and locks on this really stupid looking arm submission (at least it’s back to the arm though) but it looks like some pinning combination by Kid and he Yoshino almost loses from it. They have another crazy counter exchange that once again I’m surprised isn’t sloppy at all before Kid hits a Springboard Hurricanrana for the win cause I guess he doesn’t do that Dragonrana anymore. Definitely better than I expected, I thought I’d like it but I expected it to be way more sloppy.

Kid offers his hand to Yoshino after but Yoshino pushes him down and Naruki Doi and Shingo get in a face off before their main event, but for some reason 2 Cold Scorpio comes back down and mentions that he was here when Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko had their classic, Rey/Psicosis and he was also involved in a few matches himself with a man named Sabu. He says that Kid/Yoshino are this decade’s version of that so instead of being all heelish, Yoshino should just want another rematch. Bruh fuck this shit Ken Doane should have taken this dude out earlier. Both guys agree to a rematch for GM Scorpio, IDK what the point of that shit was other than name dropping ECW guys.

Mike Quackenbush replaces Chikarason on commentary for the last two matches.

Warriors-5 (CIMA & Susumu Yokosuka) vs The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson)
The Bucks are super over with indy crowds already, slowly building up to working the greatest smark of them all, Dave Meltzer. CIMA is also ridiculously over, no one gives a fuck about his partner. The Bucks are so bland here, I really forgot how boring they used to be except they still have these great double team moves that are crazy fluid and shows how they end up getting so over later. Warriors-5 play the heels by default bc the Bucks are just cookie cutter young faces doing flippy stuff, but it’s pretty good. They use their striking and a lot of quick tags to isolate Matt, it’d be a better heat segment is CIMA wasn’t the most over person in the match and I didn’t know how much better the Bucks would be as heels later. They take a break from fucking up Matt just to target Nick who was minding his business on the apron and take him out with a double team stomp outside the ring and then Yokosuka takes these noisemaker things the fans have and hits Matt with them Matt starts no-selling kicks like he’s fucking Hulk Hogan and gets all fired up but CIMA just keeps fucking him up and then teases him by throwing him to his corner where Nick can’t make the tag. Nick ends up getting back on the apron and Matt is able to make hot tag and the Bucks do some more of their awesome double team, no wonder these two never wrestle a singles match anymore, they’re only complete together. CIMA ends up catching Nick with this sick double stomp to the face and we get this crazy exchange from all four men that looked a little choreographed at times but for the most part was fire. Warrior-5 connect with some cool double team stuff too before Matt and Yokosuka end up alone in the ring for a nice exchange though Jackson hits like the 5th springboard stunner of the night, everyone loves that move I guess. Bucks go back at it with their double team moves that all have random ass names even though they’re used like twice ever. Nick ends up getting sent into the ring post by CIMA and hit this cool assisted facebuster, but Nick BARELY makes the save, I actually thought that was it so good false finish. CIMA accidentally superkicks Yokosuka and then the Bucks are able to capitalize and win with MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK I forgot about that extra ass finisher it’s a rolling fireman’s carry slam by Matt followed by a 450 splash by Nick and then finally Matt hits Daniels’s best moonsault ever to finish it off and the crowd fucking goes wild. That was good shit for sure, probably my favorite match of the night so far.

The crowd gives all four guys standing ovations and they hug and stuff before the Bucks put over the guys they just beat. Then Matt says that they’re no longer the tag team of the future bc tonight they became the tag team of the present. They might annoy tf out of me, but no one can argue that the Bucks have been one of the top tag teams in the world during their NJPW run and you can see flashes of what makes them successful here for sure but until they start working the smarks they’re still gonna be pretty irrelevant, haven’t even had their forgettable TNA run yet so that promo isn’t entirely accurate but people probably watch it now like it’s some sort of prophecy since they did eventually deliver.

We get one last look of Shingo and Doi getting ready for the main event in their locker rooms. The narrator mentions that Doi’s title isn’t on the line but as this is the first PPV in DGUSA history, it is still important (okay SPOILER but Doi ends up winning anyway so why wouldn’t they just put the belt on the line? It’s pro wrestling bruh)

Naruki Doi vs Shingo
Crowd seems to be mostly behind Shingo here and they start off pretty well, it’s slower more basic stuff than we’re used to from the rest of the night, but the pace is obviously so they can go 20 minutes. Shingo takes control early because he’s the more powerful guy so Doi has to keep trying to get space for kicks and speed aka the go-to offense for 90% of the roster tonight. Doi starts working the leg after Shingo misses a diving knee and the leg work is pretty nice but this dude locks in a Figure-4 way too early into the match, it’s just sacrilegious, but that’s just a personal thing, everything is worked pretty well and they don’t stay in it long enough to fully bury the move. Shingo doesn’t sell the leg at all once he gets on offense and it’s a little forgivable bc his offense is so fun and the crowd loves it. Shingo mostly focuses on the neck and targets that with his power stuff, but Doi has this fucking awesome comeback just going balls to the wall with dropkicks and the crowd has now gotten fully on Doi’s side. Shingo keeps it up with his power though, catching Doi with suplexes out of nowhere, this shit is really fire bc they’re different styles mesh so well. I mean it’s kind of your basic power vs speed stuff which admittedly is one of the easier ways to book a match but it’s all done almost to perfection. It’s also pretty back and forth for most of the match with a lot of counters in every exchange. They start hitting some big moves for near falls and the crowd is going wild but I knew they weren’t gonna finish bc they don’t have absurd names so they aren’t a finisher. Shingo hits this crazy Michinoku Driver variation at one point that he basically lands as a legdrop for the closest so far until Doi comes back with this face buster/running kick combos whose names I’m not gonna try and type but SHINGO GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES I just noticed how out of breath this fat ref is trying to keep up with these guys They have this awesome strike combo that Noi wins with that same sliding kick from earlier but he fucks up and pins after a tiger suplex instead of a move he named so Shingo kicks at two. Doi starts getting really frustrated that he can’t finish Shingo so he hits this SICK fucking move he’s been going for all match, it’s like a wheelbarrow lift into a package tombstone? IDK but it looks like a broken neck more often than not and he calls it the “Muscular Bomb” which I guess makes sense bc the guy gets folded up like a Muscle Buster.

This whole show delivered and then some, IWC had to have went nuts for it at the time and probably overrated the fuck out of it but watching now with blank expectations and I fucked with every match. Wait except that fucking Scorpio/Doane one even though I’ll admit it was better than I expected, but they still could have just cut it and made it a dark match since this didn’t air live.