Just gonna take a few shots and start this shit

[Crippler]

Seems like the only good thing about that show was the poster.

 

[Chris]

Seems like the only good thing about that show was the poster.

And Torrie's ring attire

 

[Chris]

Event: WOW Unleashed
Date: February 4, 2001
Venue: Great Western Forum in Inglewood, California
Attendance: ~9500
Commentators: Bobby Heenan & Lee Marshall

WOW World Champion: Danger
WOW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

And I already miss WCW. They say this is the first ever all women’s wrestling PPV and I don’t care to fact check that. The ring announcer (I think) hypes up Danger defending this WOW title against Terri Gold tonight and they show her putting Terri through a table to win the title whenever ago. Also tonight Harley’s Angels/Caged Heat for the new tag titles and a “splash match” between Jungle Grrl and Becky “The Farmer’s Daughter” IDK if I can finish this one bruh. Selina and Thug are in a cage match later and don’t forget about the WOW swimsuit competition, this gets the biggest pop. Also tonight a “haircut” match where the losers get shaved bald. He introduces Lee Marshall then Bobby Heenan gets his own entrance, can’t believe he’s doing this trash show.

Backstage some white trash roll in on bikes. Apparently it’s Harley’s Angels and Thug. They say Caged Heat are dead meat and they’re gonna make roadkill out of them or something.

Jacklyn Hyde (w/ Dr. Sarah Bellum & Nurse Mercy) vs Randi Rah Rah
Jacklyn is a psycho from an insane asylum and is dressed kinda like Two-Face while Randi is a cheerleader with an eye patch bc of a kayfabe eye injury by having a mirror broken over her head. They just do their character shit for two minutes until Randi hits a springboard crossbody for the win.

Heenan tries to interview Randi after the match but the sound is fucked up all I hear is Randi tell Lana Star that she has her “eye” on her. They show Lana Star and Patti Pizzazz in a limo on their way here for their haircut match later as Heenan says “there’s nothing worse than a bald woman”

The Beach Patrol (Sandy & Summer) vs Farah & Paradise
Farah is a Persian princess, Paradise is an island girl from Congo and the Beach Patrol are just Baywatch clones. The only highlight of this is the hilarious ref bump about two minutes in and then one member of the Beach Patrol gets pinned while the other one gets pinned and the ref counts three bc he has no idea who’s legal so he declares it a draw Heenan is like that makes no sense but whatever. The crowd starts chanting “bullshit”

We see Lana & Patti at the Chinese Theater signing autographs for fans that probably don’t know who they are.

They show a video from earlier of the ring announcer trying to fuck Jeanie Buss the owner of the Lakers bc she also owns this shitty company

Jane Blond vs Tanja the Warrior Woman
Jane is a terrible James Bond parody ugh. Tanja’s got a sword and shit. These girls are way more committed to their characters than wrestling and it’s obvious. This is kept super short and Tanja ends up winning after a spinning heel kick that she fell down on.

They show videos of Summer and Paradise in bikinis and you’re supposed to go online to vote for who wins the swimsuit competition.

Heather Steele vs Nicky Law (w/ Kristy Order)
Heather is a tool girl and Nicky is a cop and it’s also Law and Order’s debut. Nicky attacks Heather with her nightstick before the match and they announcers get all their police puns out early. Heather gets like one move of offense in before Nicky wins with a Hangman’s Neckbreaker.

After the match Law and Order handcuff and beat Heather with a nightstick and the announcers make a shit ton of police brutality jokes bc they’re in LA.

We see Terri Gold lifting weights in a gym and Selina comes in and sends the cameraman out. They also show a random black SUV for a few seconds for some reason before cutting to some girl named Bronco Billie on the phone and I think it’s bad news but I can’t hear shit.

The Asian Invasion (Jade & Lotus) vs Boom Boom & Caliente
Boom Boom is Hawaiian, Caliente is a Latina who can’t stop salsa dancing and The Asian Invasion are Asians. This goes like double the other matches so far and gets a whopping 5 minutes and it’s not as bad as everything else so far and everyone moves at a really fast pace with this Jade girl carrying it. Boom Boom ends up hitting a Samoan Drop on Jade to win and make Jade’s grandma who was watching her for the first time all sad as Heenan asks if she’s gonna get deported.

We go back to that SUV for some reason and I think they’re trying to hint that someone is fucking in it or something. Terri and Selina are leaving that locker room and Terri says she’s got Selina’s back tonight

Bronco Billie vs The Disciplinarian
Disciplinarian is a bitchy strict teacher and Billie is a cowgirl who apparently just found out she lost her ranch This is okay when they keep it basic, towards the end they try a little too much too soon and these strikes are terrible but this just looks like a meh WWE women's match instead of garbage like before. Disciplinarian hits a pedigree at one point but Billie gets her foot on the ropes so while Disciplinarian is celebrating Billie rolls her up for the win.

After the match Disciplinarian gets a mic and says she’s not done and says that SHE BOUGHT THE RANCH! If Billie isn’t on her best behavior then her and her family will be EXPELLED!

Danger gets out of the SUV and cuts a basic promo that I can barely hear bc their sound is still fucked up.

Swimsuit videos for Jade and Roxy Powers are shown. Jade takes her top off and the crowd pops for that. These are easily the best part of the show so far.

Roxy Powers vs Slam Dunk
Slam Dunk is a basketball player, black obviously and supposedly a 6’3 power forward and she cuts a shitty promo before the match. Roxy is a “total athlete” badass gimmick. This match sucks, they just do power stuff bc they’re both power wrestlers and I use that word loosely. Slam misses a diving leg drop but then Roxy hits the ref with this hilarious clothesline so Slam hits the MONSTER DUNK Chokeslam but there’s no ref so she gets pissed and chokeslams the ref Roxy hits a superkick and another ref comes down to count it but the original ref pulls him out and disqualifies both girls instead for attacking him

The crowd chants “bullshit” again as Slam chokeslams the other ref and Roxy hits her with another superkick.

We continue this fuckin’ skit of that ring announcer bringing flowers to Jeanie Buss and the sound is still terrible so we can’t hear them. I’m just gonna assume they fucked.

Lana and Patti are back in their limo still nowhere close to the arena. I can hear the crowd chanting “weasel” over Lee Marshall trying to plug more matches

Riot is a heavy metal maniac and comes out with a bat, she cuts a worse version of a modern Ruby Riot promo. Wendi is a “garage pinup girl” and comes out with a shopping cart of weapons.

Hardcore Match: Riot vs Wendi Wheels
LOL just garbage hardcore wrestling that isn’t too bad but anytime they try any actual wrestling it’s terrible, like the most hilarious bumps. Most of it is brawling on the outside and these girls don’t mind taking some sick shots to the head. Riot does this crazy corkscrew elbow drop but barely connects, you could tell she was super nervous before trying that one. Riot starts spraying Wendi with water or something for some reason so Wendi just hits her hard as shit with a stop sign. Riot is able to lock on a crossface but Wendi gets out with a shot to the face with a pizza pan. This starts dragging bc it gets 10 minutes but Riot gets a trash can and uses it as a weapon until hitting a powerbomb for the win, missed the trash can lid she was aiming for though. Well that was something.

Swimsuit videos of Bronco Billie, Heather Steele, Lotus, & Sandy air. These are still solid.

Splash Match: Beckie vs Jungle Grrrl
You win by hitting a diving splash from the top rope. Grrrl is obviously a jungle gimmick and Beckie is a “Farmer’s Daughter” from Nebraska. This is pretty boring, it also gets 10 minutes but they just do random moves for most of it that don’t go anywhere. Grrrl hits a splash at one point early on that Beckie was supposed to dodge but she doesn’t move far enough and takes it right in the face they keep going like nothing happened though. Beckie goes for a splash but takes knees to the gut instead. I think Beckie missed it but I give her props for attempting a springboard Jericho dropkick without hurting herself. They have this really terrible counter exchange late in the match where the ref forgets the rules and counts a pin at one point. Grrrl hits a superplex followed by a super belly to belly suplex and then goes out to get a ladder and sets it up out of the ring for some reason but it’s tall enough that she ALMOST makes it all the way to Beckie Her head may have hit directly on Beckie’s knee but either way the ref counts a pin for the win.

Heenan says he’s never seen a move like that in his life to Jungle Grrrl and she says everyone should be impressed bc she’s the queen of the jungle and the queen of the ring.

Jeanie Buss is showing this dude all the Lakers NBA trophies and they’re talking about Shaq and Kobe but the sound is still fucked. Apparently Shaq is practicing now and they show a video of him making a free throw so Heenan says it must have been an imposter Best part of the whole show for sure.

A limo is backstage and some cuck rolls out a red carpet for Lana Star and Patti Pizzazz and the sound is fucked but Lana says something about her not losing her hair and leaves while Patti is getting tha bags but Patti gets attacked by Ice Cold and locks her in the trunk and threatens to shave Lana Star. The limo drives off with Patti in it

No Disqualifications Tournament Final for the vacant WOW World Tag Team Championship: Caged Heat (Delta Lotta Pain & Loca) vs Harley’s Angels (Charley Davidson & EZ Rider) (w/ Thug)
Biker chicks vs minority prisoners COOL! Both teams cut shitty pre-match promos in the ring. This is terrible, just typical cat fighting stuff like hair pulls and shit even though these are supposed to be real fightin’ girls. The ref takes a bump so the Angels miss out on a win and then Thug accidentally clotheslines the ref to further take him out and stop Caged Heat from winning after a Drive By. Loca hits a splash on one of the Angels though and puts Delta on her for the win but WAIT there’s a third member of Caged Heat out here for some reason.

The new girl and Thug have a stand-off and she takes out Thug who takes diving moves from the two that just won the tag titles. They attack the ref afterwards too. So do they get to bring these titles with them to jail?

Lana is on the phone with Patti I think and accuses her of faking bc she doesn’t wanna lose her hair so she makes another call.

We get some highlight video of Danger and Terri Gold but the voiceover is all fucked so IDK what it’s saying but Danger likes putting girls through tables.

WOW World Championship: Danger (c) vs Terri Gold
Danger does a Triple H water spot but with PYRO! Terri is pretty good using her speed and agility but Danger is a meh power worker and her shit is so slow and plodding even though she ain’t even that big. This only gets like 4 minutes though so they don’t have time to do much but we still get a ref bump so Riot comes running down to get revenge on Danger for taking her out a few weeks ago and botches a powerbomb at first, dropping Danger right on her neck before trying again and the table doesn’t break, it just falls get that girl a new finisher bc she can’t do powerbombs. Terri is able to capitalize and hits a springboard moonsault called the Perfect 10 for the win to regain her title. We get a shit ton of confetti for the title change.

Swimsuit videos for Ice Cold and Lana Star

Caged Heat are back in prison but have a mic and they introduce the third member as Vendetta. NOBODY CAN BEAT THE HEAT!

Poison leaves what they say is Lana Star’s locker room and then Lana comes down to the ring obviously faking an injury on crutches. She gets in the ring and cuts a promo without the crutches though and says she can’t participate in the head shaving match bc Ice Cold beat up Patti who’s now in the hospital so since she had to turn her own TV on she tripped over a coffee table and hurt her ankle The dude that was hitting on Jeanie Buss earlier comes out and says that she can’t cancel the match bc unlike other organizations WOW delivers what they promised so the hair shaving match will happen. I’ve seen better acting in porn than this. Poison and Ice Cold come out for the match, they’re just parodies of Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze from Batman.

Handicap Hair vs Hair Match: Ice Cold & Poison vs Lana Star
This starts as a handicap match basically and I think only who loses the fall gets their head shaved. Yeah this is bad, I think everyone is a heel and no one can wrestle at all. Lana has no choice but to work a face since she’s alone but the fans don’t like her so fuck this. How there weren’t any obvious injuries with how green everyone is on this show blows my mind. Lana and Ice brawl out by the barber’s chair and meanwhile Poison gets Lana’s crutch but accidentally hits Ice with it and then just watches Lana pin her

That was booked so stupid you could tell they just wanted to shave a girl’s head and Ice was the one that was fine with it so they threw together something. Lana makes sure Ice is away for it by throwing water on her and this creepy looking barber shaves her head as she starts crying.

They start lowering the cage for the main event which is more like a hell in a cell just without a roof and the only way to win is by pin and submission. Lee Marshall announces another WOW PPV on April 8th that I’m pretty sure doesn’t end up happening. Selina Majors comes out late after Charley’s Angels and she says she has a special enforcer called the gatekeeper and new WOW Champion Terri Gold comes out and she’s gonna be in the cage making sure Charley’s Angels don’t get through the door.

Steel Cage Match: Selina Majors vs Thug (w/ Charley’s Angels (Charley Davidson & EZ Rider))
This gets 15 fucking minutes but it’s also probably the best match of the night even if it’s still pretty meh. It’s a lot of brawling outside the ring using the cage and other things as weapons so that helps a lot. Selina blades pretty early after getting sent into the cage so Thug just beats her down for awhile. Backstage, they’re finishing shaving Ice Cold’s head with Lana laughing. This obviously starts dragging halfway through as Heenan notes that Selina has had almost no offense. Ice Cold comes running down saying someone is gonna pay for this and then just leaves as Thug takes out the ref too. Selina makes a comeback but THE FUCKING REF CLIMBS OUT OF THE CAGE BC HE SAID FUCK THIS SHIT AND LEAVES! Selina goes out ot try and get him but he ends up falling through a table on the outside I’M FUCKING DEAD! BRUH The ref is pouring blood now that looks legit but this match keeps going. Selina hits a perfect imitation of a Stone Cold Stunner but there’s no ref so Thug hits her with a chair in the face and she’s bleeding pretty bad now. Thug forces Terri to make the count since the other ref is out and wins. Fuck this.

Some flames shoot out of the turnbuckles making me think Kane is showing up or something and then Selina attacks Terri with the chair and starts beating her down bc she’s mad she lost I guess. They brawl up the ramp as well as Selina has Terri’s belt. They finally get Selina to leave and the announcers run down this shitty show as Heenan is surprised there’s no more matches bc he was having fun.

 

[Deezy]

No boobs

 

[Chris]

Event: WWF WrestleMania X-Seven - Houston… We have a problem.
Date: April 1, 2001
Venue: Reliant Astrodome in Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross & Paul Heyman

WWF Champion: The Rock
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho
WWF World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley)
WWF European Champion: Test
WWF Hardcore Champion: Raven
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Crash Holly
WWF Women’s Champion: Ivory

This is probably my most watched ‘Mania and I love this PPV so fuck yeah. We get this awesome video package showing people around the world watching past ‘Manias with highlights of the biggest moments. Welcome to WrestleMania, the celebration of LIFE!

“My Way” theme song

Good ol’ JR and Paul Heyman are commentating tonight which is just the cherry on top of the show tbh. I love JR calling Heyman “Paul E” from their WCW days. Jericho does his GOAT 2001 entrance before coming down to start this show with an Intercontinental title match. Regal is the commissioner of the WWF right now and they show a video package during his entrance of the Regal/Jericho feud and Jericho PISSING in Regal’s drink

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs William Regal
This is alright, it’s pretty short and I think they could have done better with more time but it mostly just feels like an opener. Jericho has the advantage early until Regal starts working over the shoulder to set up for the Regal Stretch and he gets some amazing heat. Regal removes a turnbuckle pad and sends Jericho shoulder first into it. Jericho is able to start making a comeback but Regal is able to hit this awesome double underhook suplex from the top rope. Jericho tries to fight back into the Walls of Jericho but his shoulder gives out and Regal locks on the Regal Stretch. Jericho is able to get to the ropes and fights back and hits a Lionsault for the win a Lionsault winning a WrestleMania match BRUH! That was fine, it just felt like a TV or a pre-show match.

A limo with the license plate “WCW1” pulls up and Shane McMahon gets out, for context even though I’m sure most of you guys remember this, it was revealed Shane bought WCW on last Monday’s Raw/Nitro simulcast.

The APA and Jacqueline are drinking, smoking cigars and playing cards in the APA’s “office” and Bradshaw is yelling about this being WrestleMania and puts over how huge it is for him to wrestle in the Astrodome so the crowd loves it. He gets everyone all hyped up and they leave for the match rowdy af. Right to Censor are out first and Steven Richards tries to cut a promo but is interrupted by Tazz’s awesome theme song.

The APA (Bradshaw & Farooq) & Tazz (w/ Jacqueline) vs Right To Censor (Bull Buchanan, The Goodfather, & Val Venis) (w/ Steven Richards)
They all start brawling and Jacqueline takes out Richards with a DDT early. This isn’t very good and thankfully it’s kept short. RTC are able to isolate Tazz with some pretty meh brawling until he’s able to tag in Bradshaw who takes out everyone. Bradshaw hits a super back suplex but then eats an aided powerbomb that he barely sells before murdering Goodfather with a Clothesline From Hell for the win. That could have been cut but at least Tazz got a ‘Mania payday.

Backstage, Trish is wheeling Linda McMahon into the building and Stephanie shows up talking shit about Shane and Linda and talking down to Trish.

Hardcore Match for the WWF Hardcore Championship: Raven (c) vs The Big Show vs Kane
Raven comes out with a shopping cart of the most random shit like there’s plants in it bro. Kane and Raven start brawling before Show even comes out and this is just an overbooked trainwreck Show literally never gets to the ring for the entire match They go out to the crowd quickly before making their way backstage where the real fuckery starts. Show locks himself inside a cage with Raven so Kane can’t come in and says “screw you Kane” but it doesn’t work Kane starts choking Raven with a garden hose and then throws him threw a fuckin window before Show tackles Kane through a door all this breakaway shit Show stars announcing everything he’s doing for some reason and him and Kane end up going through another wall and Raven just walks into this room from a door and keeps brawling Raven then takes a fuckin’ golf cart and Show jumps on the back of it and they just instantly crash bc it can’t turn so then KANE TAKES ONE TOO WITH THE REF RIDING ON THE BACK AND RUNS OVER RAVEN! This drags on as they have to brawl back to the arena but they finally get to the stage where Show threatens to throw Raven off but Kane boots Show so they both fall through the side so Kane runs and hits an elbow drop and the ref has to count on the side of some glass but Kane wins They tried to be so creative with that one.

Backstage Kurt Angle is watching film of Chris Benoit tapping him out when Edge and Christian come running up and they try to make plans but Angle is just focused saying the tap out didn’t count bc it wasn’t a match so they just say they’ll talk to him in a bit lol

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York rn with a bunch of drunk ass wrestling fans.

Jonathan Coachman in a tuxedo interviews this woman from Australia who spent 30 hours flying to come to this show and she says it’s better than what she expected. He gives her a chance to send one message to everyone watching and it’s WWF RULES!

The Rock is shown arriving in his locker room.

WWF European Championship: Test (c) vs Eddie Guerrero (w/ Perry Saturn)
Saturn is wearing this hilarious hat. Test is the face here and is more over than I remembered him being and he takes it to Guerrero early on using his power. Guerrero bumps around amazing and makes Test almost look like the future at times until he runs out of things to do and just does these shitty punches. Test’s foot gets caught in the top rope and Saturn is able to get some shots in and Guerrero keeps working over the leg, smart strategy to take down the larger opponent. Test starts to make a comeback but his leg keeps him from being able to capitalize on a couple big moves. Test is able to lock on a full nelson but Guerrero just low blows him to get out of it fuckin’ clueless ref Saturn comes in the ring and hits a whole ass moss covered three handled family credunza while the ref is yelling at Guerrero DUMBASS! They go back and forth a bit more until Test hits a pump-handle slam, but Saturn get on the apron and that second distraction lets Guerrero kick out. Test kills Guerrero with a big boot, but Dean Malenko comes running down and pulls Test out of the ring Test takes out Malenko but then Guerrero hits Test with the title belt for the win SO MUCH FUCKERY!

Michael Cole interviews Mick Foley about if he can be an impartial official for the McMahon/McMahon match tonight and he says that despite all Vince did to him he’s gonna call it right down the middle RIGHT HERE IN HOUSTON TEXAS! Foley the GOAT of cheap pops.

Stone Cold Steve Austin has arrived in his locker room.

Kurt Angle comes out for his match but he has a mic. It’s weird not hearing a crowd chant “you suck” to Angle’s theme. He says it’s no secret he’s not a fan of the state of Texas and that the flag is missing about 49 other stars He says even these 65,000 bull riding beer bellied Texas yee-haws know he never tapped out to Benoit and will never lose to him and by the way people LOSE THE FREAKIN’ COWBOY HATS

Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle
First fire match of the night fuck yeah. They start out with this awesome mat wrestling sequence where both guys just try to one up the other so there’s a ton of awesome counters. Benoit teases the Crossface early and Angle panics and gets to the ropes quickly a few times. Angle gets fed up of being outwrestled and turns this into a brawl, sending Benoit into the steel steps among other things on the outside. Benoit tries to mount a comeback with some sick chops, but Angle keeps the advantage with some suplexes and he starts getting cocky af. This lets Benoit comeback and starts going for pins now instead of just the submission win as both guys are getting more desperate. Benoit is able to hit a huge superplex and Angle is amazing at kickout out at the last second. Benoit goes for his rolling Germans, but Angle reverses the third and tries for an Ankle Lock, but Benoit counters into an Ankle Lock of his own Angle fights out but Benoit locks on the Crossface and this time Angle counters into his crossface The ref takes a bump and Benoit locks in another Crossface and ANGLE TAPS! But the ref got poked in the eye so he doesn’t see it so Benoit goes to check on the ref and Angle hits an Angle Slam on him but BENOIT KICKS OUT! Angle goes for a moonsault but takes knees to the chest instead and Benoit is able to hit his diving headbutt for another nice near fall. Angle does the same low blow spot as Guerrero from earlier basically and they do another short amateur exchange where Angle gets the pin using the tights AWESOME MATCH!

Cole interviews Commissioner Regal asking if he’s okay and Regal bitches at him until he walks into his office to see Kamala destroying his desk with Kim Chee trying to control him. They hype up the Gimmick Battle Royal later.

They show highlights of the WWF going to Fort Hood and doing stuff with the troops. Angle stayed in character for the whole thing, shit looked fun.

Kevin Kelly tries to interview Kurt Angle backstage who says he doesn’t have to respect anyone but Benoit attacks him from behind and locks on the Crossface on Angle who taps again.

Promo video of the Chyna/Ivory feud of Ivory breaking Chyna’s neck and taunting her about it until Chyna returns and causes her to lose a bra and panties match. Ivory comes out alone bc RTC is banned from ringside in exchange for Chyna signing a clause that says if Ivory breaks her neck again Chyna can’t sue, seems fair to me. Chyna comes out with a firework launcher and is showing most of her ass.

WWF Women’s Championship: Ivory (c) vs Chyna
Ivory attacks Chyna with the title belt before the match starts and starts beating on Chyna’s neck but Chyna just starts throwing her around with some pretty shitty offense. Chyna hits a big powerbomb on Ivory but then lifts her up instead of pinning UGH! She just hits a gorilla press drop and then pins her so I don’t get the point of that, but at least that match was short.

Mr. McMahon is backstage with Trish, Stephanie and a drugged up Linda and he tells Trish to make sure she upped Linda’s medication and to bring her out at just the right time. Michael Cole comes in and asks about Shane buying WCW but McMahon says if Cole wants something shocking he’ll get it later tonight, he guarantees it.

Video package of this weird Vince/Trish/Linda angle before Shane steps in as the babyface McMahon. Great twist to this feud having Shane buy WCW the week before.

Shane is out first and doesn’t have his own theme song yet. He gives a shout out to some WCW wrestlers in a pressbox. Mostly jobbers, I see Bill DeMott, Mark Jindrak, Chavo Guerrero, Stacy Keibler, Lance Storm and I think maybe Shawn Stasiak and Shane Helms but IDK. Referee Mick Foley is out next, glad he got to be a part of this ‘Mania.

Street Fight (w/ Guest Referee Mick Foley): Mr. McMahon (w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs Shane McMahon
This is good especially when you factor in that it’s two non-wrestlers. They do their patented McMahon brawling and the crowd is hype af for this one. Stephanie gets involved early and slaps Shane but that doesn’t stop him from beating down Vince. They continue brawling outside the ring where Vince is just taking a beating like only he can as Shane uses a street sign and a kendo stick and also his hilarious boxing. Shane strips the spanish announce table and hits Vince with a monitor before going up top. Stephanie stands in front of Vince to try and stop Shane from jumping but but he says fuck her and jumps anyway so she pulls Vince off last second and Shane goes crashing through the table. Trish wheels down Linda at this point and checks on Vince but then slaps him! Trish and Stephanie then have a hilarious catfight inside the ring before Foley has to break it up so Stephanie slaps him before Trish chases Stephanie back up the ramp. Vince is back up and goes towards Linda but Foley stops him and goes to wheel Linda away but Vince cracks him with a steel chair and then puts Linda in the ring and puts her in a chair to watch him beat Shane. Vince throws Shane and some trash cans into the ring and starts beating Shane with a trash can while talking shit to Linda until Linda stands up to a huge pop and kicks Vince in the dick. Foley is back in and starts beating down Vince too and sets him up for Shane to hit a Coast to Coast with a trash can in the corner for the win

They show the Hardy Boyz signing autographs the day before when Kevin Kelly interrupts them asking for thoughts on TLC II. Matt puts over their feud and says he doesn’t think either team will be the same. Jeff says there’s always danger when it comes to the Hardy Boyz and they’re gonna get revenge for Lita.

Triple H is in his locker room looking all serious while Undertaker is in some dark corner air boxing.

Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match for the WWF World Tag Team Championship: The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley) (c) vs Edge and Christian vs The Hardy Boyz (Jeff & Matt Hardy)
They have like WAY more tables and ladders set up around the ring than they need but fuck it lol more chaos. This was a PWI MOTY so I already reviewed it but it’s a great match to rewatch, I used to watch these matches on repeat as a kid anyway. It starts off with some good team brawling with everyone getting shit in and using the weapons before they go into the planned spots. The Hardys take out Christian with some tandem dives off ladders before the Dudleys come in and hits WHATSSUUPPPP on Edge and then they get some tables set up in the ring. Edge gets placed on one and Bubba hits this sick powerbomb on Jeff through both the table and Edge The Dudleys set up 4 tables double stacked on the outside for some poor souls to fall through. Three ladders get set up in the ring so all 6 men can climb before Matt and Christian fall first with Christian going all the way out of the ring with Jeff and D-Von following soon alongside Bubba and Edge so all 6 men are down with one ladder left standing. Spike Dudley comes running down the ramp and takes out Edge with Dudley Dog and then one to Christian through a table on the outside Rhyno says fuck it and comes down to help Edge and Christian too and Gores Matt through a table so now LITA comes down and stops Edge from climbing the ladder, Spike and Lita then take out Rhyno who causes Edge to fall back off the ladder. The Dudleys then hit the Dudleyville Device on Rhyno and Lita comes back in to MURDER Spike with a chair shot JESUS! She takes her top off to celebrate that but then eats a 3D and we’re down to the OG 6 again. Edge and Christian take out the Dudleys with chairs as Jeff sets up a HUGE ladder outside the ring and HITS A SWANTON BOMB ON RHYNO AND SPIKE THROUGH TABLES There’s now 4 ladders in the ring including one that’s way taller. Christian and D-Von grab the belts, but Matt removes the ladder so they hang around until both guys drop down. Jeff is somehow still alive and tries to walk across three ladders but falls and somehow saves himself without dying and manages to grab the belts but Bubba moves the ladder leaving him hanging as well and then Edge hits THE SPEAR Y’all know which one I mean Bubba and Matt are fighting over the belts now when Rhyno comes in and sends them through those 4 double stacked tables D-Von goes for the belts, but Edge holds his foot so Rhyno is able to help Christian up to grab the belts and win, no surprise but this still hold up, I’ll always love these TLC matches.

Highlights of WWF Axxess Weekend which looks cool af but so much small scale than it is today. Some fan spent $200 on a customized Mr. Socko Bruh why’d we have to be poor as a child bc this shit would have been lit as a kid and Houston only like a 3 hour drive.

Howard Finkel announces that they’ve set a record for most people in attendance at an Astrodome event, good shit. Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan come out to do commentary for the Gimmick Battle Royal and I gotta pretend I didn’t just listen to Heenan call a shitty Women of Wrestling PPV a few weeks prior to this. The entrances for this Gimmick Battle Royal are a million times better than the match tbh, some of these guys are so forgettable I’m surprised they got them to come back for this but it’s cool. Good seeing Okerlund and Heenan back in the WWE too. Doink, Hillbilly Jim, Sgt. Slaughter and loser flag wearing Michael Hayes get the biggest pops

Gimmick Battle Royal: Brother Love vs Butch vs Doink the Clown vs Duke Droese vs Earthquake vs The Gobbledy Gooker vs The Goon vs Hillbilly Jim vs The Iron Sheik vs Jim Cornette vs Kamala vs Kim Chee vs Luke vs Michael Hayes vs Nikolai Volkoff vs One Man Gang vs Repo Man vs Sgt. Slaughter vs Tugboat
It’s funny how many of these guys were on that Heroes of Wrestling show. Match itself is pretty shitty since they’re all old and most of them couldn’t ever work in the first place, most guys only last a few seconds though. Cornette and Brother Love both last longer than Earthquake Sheik ends up winning it by last eliminating Jim after a few rapid fire eliminations.

Slaughter comes in after bc he’s a sore loser and locks on a Cobra Clutch and Sheik can barely sell it.

Video package of the Undertaker/Triple H feud featuring the Stephanie restraining order and Taker threatening to MURDER her to get the match tonight. TRIPSGOD got Motorhead for his entrance, bless that man.

Triple H vs The Undertaker
This is Attitude Era fuckery defined. It starts out brawling outside before they make their way to brawling in the ring because that’s all Undertaker will do in 2001 but he hasn’t completely lost his motivation yet and this is pretty entertaining. Taker gets all his usual shit in early playing towards the hometown crowd and they’re hot af but HHH is able to reverse Old School to make a comeback. HHH’s methodical offense from this era was so much fun but he gets into it with the ref allowing Undertaker to fight back but HHH stuffs it and gets a sledgehammer that Mark Yeaton must have been hiding for him. Referee Mike Chioda is able to stop HHH from using it but then takes a bump in the corner. Taker is able to hit a Chokeslam but HHH kicks at 2 bc of the slow count so Taker kicks Chioda knocking him out again More Taker controlled brawling that leads into the crowd and these Texans fuckin’ love it. They make their way to a technical area that’s pretty high up where HHH fights back with a chair, just hitting the fuck out of Taker with it. Taker fights back and hits a Chokeslam off the tower onto an obvious pad but that was still a pretty nice bump and then hits an elbow drop while the EMTs try to check on HHH They make their way back to the ring as the ref is still dead so he doesn’t know anything that’s happened, but anyway Taker grabs the sledgehammer and touches his scar form where HHH attacked him with it a few weeks ago but HHH catches him with a low blow but then gets caught with a big boot himself when he tries to use the hammer. HHH actually goes for a Tombstone, but Taker counters into his own and of course the ref is still down so no pin, so Taker tries to wake him up and then goes for a Last Ride, but HHH grabbed the sledgehammer and hits Taker with it right between the eyes to get out of it HHH goes for the pin and the ref is finally up but Taker kicks out to a huge pop. Taker is bleeding from his cut now and HHH goes at him with punches in the corner but Taker hits a Last Ride out of nowhere for the win 9-0 record for ‘Taker at WrestleMania.

They show Rock and Austin backstage walking towards the ring for the main event before the GOAT video package showing this feud Fink announces that the match is now no disqualifications which JR and Heyman sell as a last minute change. Austin has his Disturbed theme song here

No Disqualifications Match for the WWF Championship: The Rock (c) vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
Austin’s neck is already limiting his wrestling here so he makes up for that with some GOAT brawling and oh man this is so much fun still. The crowd is hot af and these two just go all out brawling to start. A match that goes almost 30 minutes has no right starting out this fast-paced. They brawl outside, in and out of the crowd before going back in the ring for Austin to hit a big superplex. Rock makes a comeback and he’s clearly not the favorite but he’s def over af too. Back outside the ring, Rock gets cracked across the face with the ring bell which busts Rock open. Rock crawls on top of the English announce table and it collapses early so whatever spot was planned there is wasted Back in the ring, Austin is just beating down Rock, taking full advantage of the no DQ stipulation. Rock makes a comeback with a sick clothesline and gets some great heat from the Texas crowd and man he’s bleeding pretty bad now. Rock destroys Austin with the ring bell, getting revenge from earlier and busting Austin open too and somehow Austin kicks out. Rock keeps up the pressure until Austin comes back outside the ring and catapults Rock into the ring post. More great ringside brawling that Rock/Austin have the best chemistry with and then they make their way back into the ring where Rock locks on a Sharpshooter and it’s an awesome callback to Hart/Austin at WrestleMania 13 Austin makes it to the ropes this time and then locks on his own Sharpshooter and both guys are just pouring blood at this point. Rock fights out so Austin busts out all his old shit with the Million Dollar Dream from his Ringmaster days Rock fades and they do the arm drop spot and Rock barely gets the arm up and almost gets a pin and then Rock hits a Stunner for a near fall Mr. McMahon then makes his way down the ramp 20 minutes or so into the match and starts watching along really intently and almost looks nervous. Rock is able to hit a Spinebuster and the crowd forgets to boo as he hits a People’s Elbow but MCMAHON PULLS ROCK OFF TO BREAK UP THE COUNT! The crowd, Rock, and both announcers all sell this awesome confusion as McMahon leads Rock into a Rock Bottom from Austin for a two count. The crowd is still behind Austin as Earl Hebner takes a ref bump on a Stunner attempt so Austin hits a low blow and then yells at McMahon to get a chair and holds up Rock for McMahon to hit him and the crowd is now realizing what’s going on and starts booing. Rock barely kicks out and Austin gets pissed but gets caught in a Rock Bottom but McMahon comes in the ring and Rock starts beating down McMahon until Austin hits a huge Stunner but Rock still kicks out The match probably should have ended there tbh but I won’t hold it against them bc then McMahon hands a chair to Austin who just kills Rock with it until he finally stays down after a couple more kick outs. JR commentary is fucking crazy good as the crowd pops at first but then quickly boos bc they realize Austin sold out.

I love when fans get what they want but in ways they didn’t want them, bittersweet reactions are always hilarious. After the match Austin SHAKES HANDS WITH THE DEVIL HIMSELF! Austin celebrates with beers along with McMahon over Rock as JR is talking mad shit about him. He hits Rock over the head with the belt one more time to solidify him selling his soul and leaves with McMahon and the belt. WHY STEVE WHY!? A highlight video of all the matches tonight to “My Way” is shown to end the show

 

[Crippler]

Top 2 mania of all time, and my personal favourite Mania Main Event match. I think I've seen it over 100 times.

I'm surprised you didn't love the hardcore match as much as me, the golf cart stuff is just amazing fuckery.

 

[Chris]

Top 2 mania of all time, and my personal favourite Mania Main Event match. I think I've seen it over 100 times.

I'm surprised you didn't love the hardcore match as much as me, the golf cart stuff is just amazing fuckery.

I used to and the golf cart spot was great but it didn't hold up for me bc the maneuvering backstage and back to the stage was so forced and boring until they got to the shit they had planned. It was fine for what it was though.

I also would call it an overrated Mania tbh even though I love it so much and would rewatch it over pretty much any other ones, if I'm judging them objectionable with no nostalgia some of the ones in the later 2000s hold up better. But I will agree its probs the best main event of any Mania

 

[Deezy]

Overrated Mania

Benoit/Angle is slept on.

 

[Chris]

Overrated Mania

Benoit/Angle is slept on.

Only cause I don't agree with it being a top 1 or 2 like most people would put it. Overrated doesn't mean bad

 

[Crippler]

Only other mania next to it is 19? and maybe 21 or 22.

 

[Chris]

I think 26 is slept on and I also forgot about HBK/Taker main eventing so that might be better than Austin/Rock

XIX and 21 are for sure up there and I'd argue 31 as well but that might be bc its the only recent mania that wasn't meh so I could be overrating it

 

[Deezy]

Don't you know every mania sucks because someone on the Internet said so.

 

[Chris]

Don't you know every mania sucks because someone on the Internet said so.

Fuck wrestlemania give me a wrestle kingdom to watch oh wait NJPW was ass in the early 2000s

 

[Deezy]

Fuck wrestlemania give me a wrestle kingdom to watch oh wait NJPW was ass in the early 2000s

Wrestlemania is too long.......Wrestle Kingdom is 5 hours.

 

[Chris]

X-Seven was just under 4 LOL same as fucking Extreme Rules