GroundZero.com

[weaselperson]

weaselperson was seen watching the opening tag team match very closely. They had their attention particularly locked on Mamifero de Basura. It's hard to tell if it was love or absolute disgust they were expressing for the sight.

 

[AON]

I do like that Trash Mammal is hedging his bets by having his own interview show, so if FWA doesn't pick up his contract, they'll see he's just a fantastic interviewer that they'll have to keep him.

Also, Wolfie, if you don't think Imma going to try for a Mammal and Halloween knight team up, you don't know me at all

The Connection vs Trick or Trash for BIB. BOOK IT

 

[Sully]

I do like that Trash Mammal is hedging his bets by having his own interview show, so if FWA doesn't pick up his contract, they'll see he's just a fantastic interviewer that they'll have to keep him.

Also, Wolfie, if you don't think Imma going to try for a Mammal and Halloween knight team up, you don't know me at all

The Connection vs Trick or Trash for BIB. BOOK IT

Trick or Trash, I love it!

 

[AON]

Yep. we got a canon name, have to be a team

TRICK OR TRASH BABY

 

[Sully]

Episode 3: Los Idus De Marzo
Live from Acrópolis Puebla in Puebla, Mexico
Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

The crowd is filled with people brandishing fake knives on the Ides of March. The camera pans over some Caesar signs too as the crowd is definitely hyped for this show. Some fans are even eating Caesar Salads in celebration.

Ty Johnson: Welcome to Ground Zero! It is The Ides of March, and we're been warned to beware them.

Daiquan Andrews: Legend has it Julius Caesar was assassinated on this day. We've invited FWA's Caesar to the show tonight, a former Ground Zero Season 2 Alumni, but understandably he didn't feel safe attending.

Ty Johnson: Who is safe? Luckily though we don't have any masked lunatics who like to carry knives on the show...right?

Daiquan Andrews: Uh...

Ty Johnson: Yikes. Well, never the less, we're going to have two more eliminations. It'll be team vs team tonight, and we're going to open things up with an elimination match right now!



​

Match One Team Vamprya vs Team Wizard Elimination Singles Match​

vs ​

​

Winner: Khronos (Team Wizard)​

Eliminated: Hijo De Espanda Roja (Team Vampyra)​

Recap: One of the biggest prospects of the show Hijo De Espanda Roja had one last chance to prove himself. But he fell short yet again when Khronos got the upset for Team Wizard and will be the one who stays on the show. ​

Inside host Saint Sulley’s office, the suited former FWA World Champion is sitting at his desk with his feet up. He’s scrolling twitter on his phone and enjoying himself.

“Haha, Bark Bark” Sulley says, reading one of the tweets out loud. “That Weaselperson is way ahead of his time”.

Suddenly the phone rings. Not his cell phone, but the office phone.

“Hello?” the host answers.

“Hello” the voice says back.

“Who is this” Sulley asks. The voice responds “You know what day it is right?”

“Wednesday?” the host asks back.

“What’s the date?” the voice asks him. “Uh, March 15th?”

“Exactly. Beware the ides of March, Sulley.” the voice says before hanging up the phone. Saint Sulley is a little spooked as he puts the phone back on the receiver. He then goes back to reading the tweets on his phone..

“Haha, Bark Bark Bark. What a great tweet” he says. Before suddenly, a chair is thrown through his office window! Sulley nearly craps himself as he jumps out from his chair and gets into a ready position. Standing at the window is known other than Cara De Fantasma himself.

“What the hell are you doing!” Sulley screams at him. Fantasma doesn’t say anything, as he pulls a knife out of his black robe and lunges towards Sulley.

But Sulley immediately hits him WITH AN RKO! SULLEY RKO’D GHOSTFACE. Fantasma is laying there in pain as Sulley kicks him a couple times in the ribs.

“I am sick of this shit. You want to pretend like it’s Halloween? Well guess what, tonight you can face Halloween Knight. In the main event…winner stays, loser goes home”.

Fantasma groans as Sulley leaves him laying on the floor of the office.

---

​

Match Two Non Elimination 9 Way Battle Royal (Winner gets guaranteed immunity next week)​

​

​

Winner: La Sobrina Del Horror Cósmico (Team Fantasy)​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: An intense battle royal between the 9 remaining members of the roster who weren’t competing in elimination matches tonight. The ladies of the roster put on the biggest showing as Hemmlock and Cosmico teamed up to take out the rest. El Venagador in fact was out first, as everyone in the match saw him as a threat and took him out together. After Hemmlock and Cosmico eliminated Lone Shark together, Cosmico turned on Hemmlock and tossed her over the ring for the win. ​

---

The alleyway behind Ground Zero is calm, serene. Almost zen-like in it’s tranquility. A soft wind blows a whistle through the lane, a discarded plastic bag fluttering in the breeze. There is a faint rainfall, a light shower, the kind that you’d stand in the middle of and just… Exist.

The person standing just outside of the now-locked rear exit of the arena was doing exactly that. Slim, lithe, arms dangling limply by her side, a pale woman stood, her head replaced with that of a cow. She was idle, impassive, inert. The aforementioned plastic bag smushed against her face with barely a reaction, before the wind once again took it back to it’s journey.

If not for the quiet, slight sway of her body in the wind, she could almost have been mistaken for a particularly ambitious modern art piece - a message created and subsequently abandoned by it’s creators once it didn’t catch on, left behind, a blip in the metaphorical radar, and little more.

The slate-grey dumpster behind her banged, as the lid was lifted and pushed against the brown brick wall of the building. A possum-man-thing stretched out, yawning, before casually opening up a discarded umbrella and shielding himself from the rain.

Moochelle Von Cowowitz made a noise that could’ve been a grunt, could’ve been a groan, or equally could’ve been the sound of a particularly greedy digestive tract. The Trash Mammal - or Mamifero De Basura for the more formally inclined - raised a cup of coffee in a hand in acknowledgment.

Mamifero De Basura: Ya preachin’ to the choir, sister.

The garbage marsupial took a sip, gazing at Moochelle’s form, swaying the kind of way a kindergartner would, moments before showing the rest of the class what they had for breakfast and moments before earning the nickname ‘vomit boy’ for the next six years of their life. She looked like if the wind was any stronger she, too, would fold in on herself like a plastic bag and drift away with significantly more mental scarring involved.

Mamifero De Basura: Y’need a pick-me-up, Mooch? I gots ya covered.

Mamifero De Basura handed the cup of coffee to Moochelle. Kind of. When I say ‘handed’ that would imply that the two parties worked together to transfer ownership of the cup to each other. What happened instead was the Trash Mammal waved the cup in the direction of Moochelle and immediately let go of it. Moochelle never lifted an arm to accept it, so the cup instead shattered on the concrete ground, sending droplets of scalding coffee onto her leg.

Moochelle didn’t respond in the slightest.

Mamifero De Basura: Yeah, I’m more of a tea kinda guy m’self, I get it. Roight. Nevertheless.

The Trash Mammal bent, rummaging around in the dumpster for something, before unveiling a sheet of paper stuck to a clipboard. He peeled a banana skin off of the clipboard and threw it behind himself, before clearing his throat. The process of the throat clearing took several seconds, all of which Moochelle reacted the same way you would react to a young child showing you his latest TikTok - with complete and utter apathy.

Mamifero De Basura: Moochelle Von Cowowitz. Cows have four stomachs. D’ya think the necessities of additional stomachs within your being helped or hindered your performance?

Moochelle did not respond. She idly chewed, despite having nothing in her mouth. Trash Mammal nodded in understanding, all the same.

Mamifero De Basura: We do what we can with the tools given, well said.

He moves on to the next point.

Mamifero De Basura: Cows have a visual field of 330 degrees, that is to say, they can see nearly all around themselves at any given time. Given this, how did you not see your elimination coming?

A fly landed on Moochelle’s nose. Several more flies slowly joined it.

Mamifero De Basura: I see, I see. An old pastime for youths of the days of old was ‘Cow Tipping.’ Were you or any a' your relatives a victim of such an assault?

Moochelle slowly blinked. Trash Mammal placed a hand against Moochelle’s shoulder encouragingly, and wiped away a tear.

Mamifero De Basura: So brave. So, so brave.

He swiftly moved on.

Mamifero De Basura: Given that ya entered, and have now exited, Ground Zero with barely a noise, would it be apt in saying that you were seen but not herd?

Pun #1. No response. But Mamifero De Basura isn’t even waiting for one as he moved on so that’s expected. Moochelle slowly blinked her left eye.

Mamifero De Basura: Would I be correct in assuming ya got your outfit from a cattle-logue?

Pun #2. Not missing a beat, Trash Mammal continues. Moochelle slowly blinked her right eye.

Mamifero De Basura: One of your great great great great ancestors was actually a royal knight on King Arthur's roundtable, wasn’t he? I read his name was Sir Loin, you ever compare yourself to your ancestors and wonder what went wrong?

Pun #3. This time there is the slightest fraction of a pause, just in case there was a reaction or an answer to any of these pun-based questions. Moochelle instead just gazed blankly.

Mamífero De Basura: Alright, it’s a bit of a stretch, but relax, I won’t milk this for all it’s worth.

Does that one even count as a pun? Moochelle flicks an ear.

Mamífero De Basura: Don't look at me like that, all the good ones were done, Moochelle, y'know that.

The other ear is flicked.

Mamífero De Basura: Roight, roight. I think our time is up, Moochelle, so thank you - or as the Spanish speaking say, Moocha Gracias.

Fuck, he slipped one more pun in here.

Mamifero De Basura: A'course, the big question on everyone’s mind will be, ‘what’s next for Moochelle Von Cowowitz?’ I hear Gerald Gooseon is looking for a pardner, but I digress. It’s a difficult decision to make in any particular juncture, so I’ve taken the liberty of hoighlighting a position of interest for ya.

Trash Mammal rips off a paper from the clipboard, and - well, he doesn’t hand it to Moochelle, he learned his lesson with the coffee. So instead he throws it at Moochelle, where the wind sticks it against her face.

It’s an ad for a blender.

Mamífero De Basura: Crud, hang on, wrong side, sorry.

He reaches over and flips the paper over.

It’s an ad for McDonald's brand new extremely exclusive Ground Zero Burger.

Mamífero De Basura: Catch ya on the flipside, patty!

With a cackle and a snort, Mamífero De Basura retreats into his dumpster, closing the lid behind him, as the rain starts to fall heavier. The paper is ripped from Moochelle’s face, leaving only her vacant gaze staring out into the void, before we cut to black.

It’s not quite Hey! EW but it’s… Something.

---

​

Match Three Main Event Team Fantasy vs Team Wizard Elimination No Holds Barred ​

vs ​

​

Winner: Halloween Knight (Team Fantasy)​

Eliminated: Cara De Fantasma (Team Wizard)​

Recap: The ides of March were in full force for this one. Cara De Fantasma tried his best to slice down Halloween Knight. He even brought a knife out to the ring. It was technically a no holds barred match. Halloween Knight however ended up blocking Fantasma’s knife with a pumpkin he found underneath the ring. Fantasma was forced to just use his fists for a good bit of the match, which worked until Halloween Knight found a garbage can and whacked Ghostface in the head with it. That was enough to take Fantasma down and get the pin for the win. ​

Fantasma is angry after the loss. He grabs his knife and begins to chase Halloween Knight around...but suddenly the rest of Team Fantasy is here! They all have their own knives!

They chase Ghostface out and through the crowd. The poor masked sociopath is running for his life.

Ty Johnson: And Halloween Knight survives Fantasma!

Daiquan Andrews: It was Fantasma who needed to beware the Ides of March after all.

Ty Johnson: Well that's our show. I'm not even sure why we get paid with how much commentary they keep cutting out of the edit, but hey a paycheck is a paycheck. ​

 

[Sully]

@Princess Rosé
@Jimmy King
@Gacy
@AON
@The Gipper
@Mitch Buchannon
@Dubble J
@Mandalorian
@Jazz Wolf
@weaselperson

And this one is posted too. Sorry again for the lack of commentary and details between matches, gonna hope to have that better together for this next one when I'm not rushing to get it up.

 

[Sully]

Also thanks for Wolfie for the segment. I hope to actually have Ground Zero up this Wednesday for once so try to have segments in by then if you want to send something in.

 

[Sully]

Episode 4: Mesas, Escaleras y Sillas
Live from Plaza de Toros La Concordia in Orizabo, Mexico
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023

The fireworks in the arena go off as the fans are excited for another episode of Ground Zero Season 4. Tables, Ladders, and Chairs are set up all throughout the arena as this episode has been marketed as "Mesas, Escaleras y Sillas" all week long. Or in English...Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Things get even more exciting as the camera on the titantron cuts to backstage as a black limo arrives into the loading bay. Stepping out of it is none other than our brilliant host Saint Sulley. He's wearing one of his fancy pinstripe suits, but most interestingly he is carrying a shiny golden briefcase.

The camera zooms in on Sulley's briefcase as he walks down the hallway of the arena, before cutting back to the front where Ty Johnson and Daiquan Andrews are sitting at the table.

Ty Johnson: WELCOME TO GROUND ZERO SEASON FOUR!

Daiquan Andrews: And boy do we have a good episode...I can't speak Spanish, but basically...it's TABLES LADDERS AND CHAIRS.

Ty Johnson: We have four matches tonight...a tables match, a ladders match, a chairs match, and a TLC Match.

Daiquan Andrews: TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS...

Ty Johnson: Oh my.

Daiquan Andrews: And best of all, that TLC match? It's an elimination match. Three tag teams all competing...whichever team has someone get pinned...the BOTH of them are eliminated.

Ty Johnson: Imagine if I was teaming you, and you ended up getting pinned and knocking me out of the competition.

Daiquan Andrews: Shame that didn't happen in season one.

Ty Johnson: Yeah, because I won.

Daiquan Andrews: Ramjam got screwed...look at that boy now. Rumor has it he signed up for Cosmic Discordant Wrestling. While you're doing what? Writing your little news articles and commentating on this show? How does it feel to be the least successful Ground Zero winner?

Ty Johnson: In my defense, the Anti Internet H8 Squad still hasn't wrestled in the FWA, and the other winner is freaking Konchu Hao...so like, come on...

Daiquan Andrews: Not to change the subject, trust me we'll talk about this later, but I feel like we gotta address this...WHAT was that briefcase Saint Sulley was carrying?

Ty Johnson: The Golden Briefcase? I don't know, he didn't tell me. Could it be a reward for a contestant tonight?

Daiquan Andrews: Maybe it's just his lunch?

Ty Johnson: Well first of all, it's night time. Second of all, who would carrying their lunch in a flashy golden suitcase?

Daiquan Andrews: Saint Sulley.

Ty Jonhson: You have a point. Well, whatever it is, I'm sure we'll find out. But we have to get to some matches.

Daiquan Andrews: We told y'all about the main event, but what about the rest of the roster? Well, after we take out those competing with their careers on the line, we have two members left on each team. Those two members are going to be facing off in a non elimination match.

Ty Johnson: What do the winners of these matches get, Daiquan? Bragging rights?

Daiquan Andrews: No Ty, actually...the winners are safe next week. The losers? They're fighting in another triple threat match next week. A match where only the winner will move onto Episode 6. In other words, you don't want to lose tonight.

Ty Johnson: A lot is on the line, and the first match of the night? Team Vamprya.

Daiquan Andrews: After these messages from our sponsors.


*Commercial Break*




*Commercial break* ​

---

Ty Johnson: Well...we've returned from that...terrifying commercial.

Daiquan Andrews: I liked it.

With that, the entrance music for Taboo begins to hit.



Taboo walks out to top of the ramp, he puts his hands on his head as if he's having a really bad brain freeze or migraine. His stuffed owl Hooty is in his hands as he heads down to the ring.

Ty Johnson: Now this is one weird dude.

Daiquan Andrews: He gives me the creeps, but he honestly has a great theme. That theme song contest that FWA.com did? I'd have voted this number one.



The fans pop as the small Hemmlock appears. She's energetic as she skips down to the ring. The fans are singing along to "Mucha Lucha!" as she runs down and slides through the bottom rope. Her teammate Taboo isn't even looking at her as she hops up on the ropes and continues getting energy from the crowd.

Ty Johnson: And here's Hemmlock. The tiny luchador. Her mentor Judelock doesn't appear to be accompanying her, but I'm sure he's backstage close somewhere.

Daiquan Andrew: How old is this girl anyway? She's so short, she looks like a kid!

Ty Johnson: That is so offensive, Daiquan. Just because a person is short statured doesn't mean they are a child. The Little People of America Association (Non Profit) is going to be writing us some angry worded letters now, and you're going to have to read them.

Daiquan Andrew: Whatever, I just know Taboo about to crush this little girl. I mean this is a tables match. He can lift her up with one arm and toss her into any table he wants.

Ty Johnson: I also have Taboo winning, so we agree on something!

​

Match One Team Vamprya Non Elimination Tables Match​

vs ​

​

Winner: Hemmlock (Team Vamprya)​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: One of the few matches tonight without tension as these two teammates would go up against one another. Taboo was soft at first, not wanting to hurt the tiny Hemmlock, but after a strong jump kick to the face, Taboo awoke and went after her in a rage. A rage that was perhaps too blind as Hemmlock's quick speed and agility allowed her to dodge all his attacks. Eventually Taboo got Hemmlock on a table and was about to hit her with an elbow drop from the top turnbuckle, but she slid out of the way at the last second to allow Taboo to go through the table on his own, giving Hemmlock her first singles win on Ground Zero. ​

Mucha Lucha plays again as Hemmlock celebrates her victory! Judelock comes out in familiar pinstripe suit, and gives Hemmlock a hug raising her hand in the ring. It's her first singles win on the show.

Ty Johnson: With this win, Hemmlock now is safe from elimination next week. She is guaranteed to be on Ground Zero Episode 6.

Daiquan Andrews: And meanwhile, Taboo is our first entrant into the elimination Triple Threat match in next week's main event.

Hemmlock and her mentor head up and the ramp and to the backstage as Taboo stays on the mat with the broken table laying underneath him.
​

---

Ah, the alleyway behind Ground Zero. A warm, familiar setting by now. An area that is as secure and comforting as the bedroom of your childhood, or a warm library in a cold winter, or-

Oh nevermind there’s a commotion I guess we’re getting right into it.

The back door of the Ground Zero arena is kicked open, as Cara De Fantasma sprints out, huffing. The sound of a braying stampede, close by his heels, echoes from the doorway as Cara De Fantasma whirls around, before spying a trusty, impenetrable dumpster. With no other option, he quickly climbs in, shutting the lid behind him just as most of Team Fantasy come storming out, ready to stab the shit out of him.

Inside the dumpster, Cara De Fantasma sat quietly, hiding, as his pursuers quickly lost his tail. He breathed a sigh of relief, then let out a brief yelp of surprise as a light was switched on.

???: Ya coulda at least knocked, y’know.

A grown man in a possum onesie stared disapprovingly at his guest, a newspaper in one hand and the cord to a lamp in the other Cara De Fantasma sighed one more.

Cara De Fantasma: Oh. It’s just you.

Mamifero De Basura: Course it’s jus’ moi, who else were ya expecting, David Arquette?

Ignoring the berating Trash Mammal, Cara De Fantasma peeked out of the dumpster.

Mamifero De Basura: Bargin into m’ proivate abode, an’ without an invitation, mind. Honestly, that’s jus’ rude. Ya didn’t even wipe yer feet for christ’s sake.

Cara De Fantasma waved a hand flippantly.

Cara De Fantasma: Yeah, yeah. This the part where you do your dumb little segment?

Mamifero De Basura: Ah. Change a’ plans, see. Sure, any other circumstance, we’d be doing the whole spiel. But not this time.

Cara De Fantasma scoffed.

Cara De Fantasma: Why’s that?

Mamifero De Basura: B’cause, ya tried to kill my friend. Ain’t it obvious?

Cara De Fantasma: What friend? The skeleton man?

Mamifero De Basura: Mmm-hmmm. One an’ the same.

Cara De Fantasma: No off-the-wall interview segment, then? So what happens instead?

Mamifero De Basura: Oh, that’s the easy part.

Something in the Trash Mammal’s tone stirred a sense of worry in the masked Ghostface, and he turned, glimpsing Trash Mammal just before he turned the lights, plunging the dumpster into darkness.

For the briefest of seconds, just before darkness enveloped his vision, he was sure the Trash Mammal had suddenly grown a pair of fangs.

Back in the alleyway, Halloween Knight paused, as the dumpster began shaking, banging, with shrieking echoing from within it. Then, to his surprise, the lid burst open, and a ragged and tattered Cara De Fantasma jumped out, slipping on the pavement. Covered in scratches and bite, bleeding from several areas, Cara De Fantasma stumbled to his feet.

Cara De Fantasma: YOU BIT ME! YOU… YOU BIT ME! AARGH!

He ran, sprinting down the alleyway, vanishing from sight. Halloween Knight watched on, bemused, as Mamifero De Basura raised his head out of the dumpster, idly chewing on a patch of fabric.

Mamifero De Basura: Ah. Revenge feels noice, don’t it?

Halloween Knight: I’m not sure whether a few bites constitutes as revenge for a dude trying to stab me.

Mamifero De Basura: A few bites? Buddy, there ain’t no cure for rabies.

There’s a beat of silence.

Then Halloween Knight laughs. Mamifero De Basura joins in. The two cackle, before high-fiving. We fade to black over their laughter, the laughter of the impromptu tag team echoing as we fade away.

Halloween Knight: You absolutely just sentenced that guy to a slow, incurable demise, huh?

Mamifero De Basura: Trick or Trash, baby!
​

---

Ty Johnson: Welcome back yet again! That crazy Trash Mammal is always getting into shenanigans backstage isn't he?

Daiquan Andrews: Yeah, I think people should start avoiding those alleys.

Ty Johnson: In the meantime, we have another match coming up. This one is a Ladders Match!

Daiquan Andrews: I don't see anything hanging up above the ring.

Ty Johnson: That's because it's not that type of ladders match. The ladders are just...resources.

Daiquan Andrews: Ah I understand. These dudes gonna be playing sword fights with some ladders.



The crowd pops as Lou Cha heads awkwardly heads down to the ring. He looks as if he has no idea where he is as the spotlight shines brightly in his eyes.

He almost trips going up the steel steps, before finally tripping on the rope as he tried to enter the ring.

Ty Johnson: Oh dear...

Daiquan Andrews: How is this guy still here?



And coming out to her own pop is La Sobrina Del Horror Cosmico. She looks a lot more focused than Lou Cha did as she marches down the ring.

Ty Johnson: Wow, she is powerful!

Daiquan Andrews: I know I was wrong about the last match, but I'm certain this time. Cosmico is going to open up a can of Whoop Ass.

Cosmico is in the ring now staring her teammate down. Despite the odds, Lou Cha doesn't back down as he bangs his chest like a Gorilla at her.

​

Match Two Team Fantasy Non Elimination Ladders Match​

vs ​

​

Winner: Lou Cha (Team Fantasy)​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: In this ladders match there was nothing hoisted in the ceiling. No the ladders were simply tools to smack your opponent in the face with. And La Sobrina Del Horror Cosmico sure did that when she beat Lou Cha with a ladder to the point that he could barely stand up anymore. But then something happened that shocked the world, well not the whole world apparently Norway was unimpressed, but everyone else was shocked as Lou Cha would SCHOOL BOY Cosmico to pin her for the win. ​

The crowd is now hyped as ever chanting "LOU CHA! LOU CHA! LOU CHA!" and Lou Cha is just eating it up. He's stomping around the ring with pride, as Cosmico is laying there, blood coming from beneath her mask due to taking that ladder to the face.

Daiquan Andrews: I cannot believe I was wrong again...how did he win?

Ty Johnson: Lou Cha has proven time and time again he should not be underestimated. He won it with that good old Joe Burr classic right there.

Daiquan Andrews: How did he win?

Ty Johnson: The school boy, Daiquan! Nothing beats that good old School boy.

Daiquan Andrews: Except his dad.

Ty Johnson: What? I don't ge- OH wow. God, no...that was...that was dark. God dammit, Daiquan. Let's....let's go to commercial.


*Commercial Break*



​

---

“Hope they weren’t too tight.”

The camera pans out to reveal a man in a white luchador mask unfastening the zip-ties around LaVonny Toner’s wrist. They are somewhere backstage but the location is unclear with no distinguishing features except for the brick wall that LaVonny emotionlessly stares at - perhaps in defiance, perhaps in defeat. The man laughs a little, he’s gotten used to this.

“You can choose to stay silent all you want, it isn’t going to help matters.”

The man positions himself in front of LaVonny, though LaVonny averts his gaze, not meeting the eyes of his captor.

“The way I see it - you have two options. Just two. Either you tell us what we want to know and you get sent on your merry way or you keep up this silent stick and he profits off what you can do in the ring.”

LaVonny fleetingly glances at the man in the white mask. It was lightning-quick, but enough to give the man the opening to press on.

“Ohhh… so that made you take notice. Nobody - including us - gave you even a sniff of a chance of winning that battle royal the other week. Personally, I didn’t think you’d last thirty seconds… but as soon as your entrance music hit riiiight up until you got back here… you seemed alive. You weren’t this motionless, stoic, robot refusing to answer our questions.”

“I don’t have the answers, how many times have I got to tell you? The last god-damn thing I remember is the music hitting in The Warehouse and making my way to the ring. Before that… I got nothing.”

The man in the white mask pauses momentarily, it is hard to read what someone is feeling when looking solely at their eyes, but there seems to be a glint of compassion, or sympathy. Regardless, the man in the white mask cracks his knuckles before dutifully pulling LaVonny to his feet and dusting down his back.

“I don’t like this anymore than you, but until he believes that, until he believes you, we’re going to keep going down this path. I can’t say I exactly know why but this path seems to be taking a rather lengthy detour through Ground Zero.”

LaVonny snaps his head around in an alert fashion at the mention of the show, a slight spark evident on what we can see of his face. In an unsure tone, LaVonny asks a question.

“Is it Wednesday?”

“It is.”

With a hint of optimism creeping into his voice, LaVonny asks another.

“Have I got a match this week?”

The man shrugs.

“I don’t know… I can talk to Saint if you want some more action?”

LaVonny nods his head furiously in agreement which garners a light chuckle from the white-masked captor.

“Let me see what I can do, kid. I’ve got to get out of here, I’ve a bit of other business to handle while I’m here… we’ll see you at the end of the show.”

The man turns his back to LaVonny and makes to take his leave but is interrupted by an outburst from “Cien Vidas”.

“Hey!”

The white-masked man turns around and looks in LaVonny’s direction.

“See if you can get them to put me in a ladder match.”

A look of steely determination crosses over LaVonny’s face as the segment abruptly cuts.
​

---

We cut back to the front for match three now. There are steel chairs set up all around the ring as we're getting ready for a Chairs match.

Ty Johnson: Well we have two out of the three competitors for next week's triple threat elimination match. Who will be competing against Cosmico and Taboo? Lone Shark or Tyler?

Daiquan Andrews: I know I'm 0-2 on this tonight, but like...surely Lone Shark has this right? I mean...it's Tyler we're talking about here.

Ty Johnson: You basically just guaranteed that Lone Shark is gonna lose now.

Daiquan Andrews: Nah, I am feeling it. He's going to win.

Ty Johnson: You've singlehandedly costed him this whole thing. Great job.



And here comes Tyler!

Ty Johnson: Well, it's not as good as Taboo's theme.

Daiquan Andrews: Nah, but it fits Tyler.

Ty Johnson: Why do you hate him so much?

Daiquan Andrews: I'm more of a DC Comics kinda guy.

Ty Johnson: I don't get it.

Daiquan Andrews: Yes you do.

Tyler enters the ring and awaits his opponent.



The crowd pops for Lone Shark as the great white wrestler heads down to the ring.

Daiquan Andrews: Now that is a theme.

Ty Johnson: You know I can't wait till Lone Shark teams up with Ground Zero Season 3 competitor Megladon Man. They would make a good team.

Lone Shark is in the ring now ready to go as he and Tyler get in their respective corners.

​

Match Three Team Wizard Non-Elimination Chairs Match ​

vs ​

​

Winner: Tyler​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: In a match where they could only use chairs, they certainly used enough of them as Tyler and Lone Shark would beat each other with over 30 different chairs. It looked like an Applebees Christmas Party as the whole ring was surrounded by broken metal chairs. Hopefully everyone had their tetris shot. Tyler ended up getting an underdog win after pinning Lone Shark following a van daminator to the face. ​

Tyler is shocked as his music plays, as is Lone Shark.

Daiquan Andrews: You have got to be kidding me.

Ty Johnson: I told you, you screwed him.

Daiquan Andrews: I HATE TYLER.

Ty Johnson: Meanwhile, we have our main event set up for next week. Between Taboo, La Sobrina Del Horror Cosmico, and Lone Shark...two of them will be eliminated by the end of next week.

Daiquan Andrews: We still gotta find out who's going home tonight!

Ty Johnson: That is coming up next!
​

---

Backstage now we cut to the man himself Saint Sulley. He's in his office eating a Whopper and enjoying the show. His golden briefcase is sitting on his desk, nice and secured.

When suddenly, he's interrupted by someone.

The crowd pops as it turns out to be Mamifero De Basura yet again!

Sulley looks confused as he's staring up at the rodent.

Saint Sulley: What do you want you trash bandit?

Mamifero De Basura: Bandit? How dare you!

Saint Sulley: I said what I said.

Mamifero De Basura seems to take a deep breath, and approaches Sulley more calmly.

Mamifero De Basura: Look, I just came because I needed to know...what's in the golden briefcase?

Sulley smiles at the question as he runs his fingers across the golden briefcase.

Saint Sulley: This? Oh did you think it was something for you guys. No no, it is my PRIZED possession. I brought it with me tonight because I got an anonymous phone call that it was going to be stolen. And I'm not going to let it.

Mamifero De Basura: Stolen? But who would steal your prized possession?

Saint Sulley: A fool that's who.

Mamifero De Basura's curiosity gets the better of him however, and so he has to ask.

Mamifero De Basura: Sulley...what IS your prized possession?

Mamifero De Basura tried to consider everything that it could be. His X Championship record? Morgan Freeman's voice? Devin Golden's jockstrap? Sammie Sullivan?

Sulley chuckled at the question. He considered leaving the bandit in suspense, but figured he'd share.

He brought Mamifero De Basura over to him, and opened up the briefcase. A bright golden shine came through just like this picture from Pulp Fiction.

​

Mamifero De Basura: Wow! That is magnificent. I can see why you're so protective of it...

Saint Sulley: Of course I'm protective over it. Do you know how many people have tried to take it?

Mamifero De Basura: But...and forgive me for asking this, who would want YOUR E?

Saint Sulley: Everyone has made such a big fuss over my E ever since I added it onto my name. They don't understand what the E means to me.

Mamifero De Basura: Is it a fat-soluble antioxidant which may help protect cell membranes from reactive oxygen species?

Saint Sulley: NO! It is my identity. My very soul. It is my everything, without my E...I am not...Saint Sulley. So you must understand why I have to keep it safe.

Mamifero De Basura: Oh yes, I understand.

Sulley then closed the briefcase, and Suddenly, Sulley's phone begins to ring.

He puts his finger up to The Trash Mammal and answers it.

Saint Sulley: Hello? Oh yes Halloween Knight how can I help you?

Mamifero De Basura waits patiently as Sulley is talking to Halloween Knight, but eventually decides to excuse himself. He gives Saint Sulley a quick wave goodbye as he leaves the office.

Saint Sully brushes him off and basically shoos him out of the room as he continues the conversation.

Saint Sully: MY CAR? What do you mean someone is vandalizing my car.

With that, Sully jumps up...he goes to head to the door...before he stops, as if he suddenly realized something. He hung up the phone, and looked back at his Golden Briefcase. His suspicions were eased as it was still sitting safely on his desk.

Sully then went to head out of the room to check on his car, but yet another urging forced him back into the room to check one more time. Saint Sully slowly walked up to his Golden Briefcase, and opened it up.

And to his utter horror...he saw nothing.

No E.

It was gone!

Sully didn't know what do to do.

He screamed, he cried...he shouted.

Saint Sully: NO!!!!! MY E!!!!! SOMEONE STOLE MY E!!!!!

The poor host of the show fell over on his office floor. He wailed and cried, almost in a heartbroken pain.

He was now without his E.

His painful cries bellowed loudly as the show would then transition awkwardly into another commercial

*Commercial Break*

​

---

When we return, all six competitors for the triple threat tag team TLC match are here in the ring because I am not doing six separate entrances.

Ty Johnson: We are back. Out of the three mysteries we have had tonight, two of them are solved. We know the three competitors for next week's main event, we know what was in Sulley's briefcase...now it's time to find out who will be going home tonight!

Daiquan Andrews: That briefcase thing was crazy! I can't believe Sully lost his E.

Ty Johnson: I almost feel bad for him.

Daiquan Andrews: Nah I don't.

Ty Johnson: Neither do I, but I said I ALMOST do.

Daiquan Andrews: Fair enough.

Ty Johnson: So, who do you have winning this match genius? You're only 0 for 3 tonight.

Daiquan Andrews: Uh...definitely gonna be LaVonny and El Vengador. They're beasts.

Ty Johnson: Welp. Sorry boys, you're going home.

Meanwhile, The Trash Mammal is proudly wearing Sully's E around his neck. Poor Saint Sully is searching frantically around the halls, and doesn't even realize that Mamifero has it!

​

Match Four: Main Event Three Team Elimination Triple Threat Tag Team TLC Match ​

vs vs ​

​

Winner: Trick or Trash (Team Fantasy)​

Eliminated: Khronos and Crowley (Team Wizard)​

Recap: This crazy three way TLC match was absolutely nuts. LaVonny Toner and El Venegador dominated most of the match by brute force, and it seemed like they were going to get a big victory. Meanwhile team of Trick or Trash struggled to stay competitive the entire match, and looked like sure eliminations. El Venegador and Toner were putting Crowley through a table, and looked like they were about to get the win, but then the world was shocked when Halloween Knight smacked Khronos in the face with a chair, and The Trash Mammal followed it up with a quick rollup victory. This eliminated both Khronos and Crowley from Team Wizard and gave Team Fantasy's new electric duo of Trick or Trash the win. El Venegador and LaVonny Toner didn't get the win, but they didn't get eliminated either. ​

Crowley looks exceptionally mad. He didn't even get pinned, but he and Khronos are officially eliminated.

Daiquan Andrews: YES! I wasn't wrong!

Ty Johnson: Uh, yes you were. You said LaVonny and El Venagador would win. They didn't...it was Trick or Trash.

Daiquan Andrews: Right, but they didn't lose either!

Ty Johnson: Whatever...

Meanwhile, Saint Sully comes running down. He finally realizes who has his E! Mamifero looks shocked as he sees Sully. He grabs Halloween Knight's attention, and the two of them book it out of there! They hop over the security barricade and up through the crowd with Sully's E in with them.

Sully gives chase but loses them in the crowd as the show comes to a close.​

 

[Sully]

@Princess Rosé
@Jimmy King
@Gacy
@AON
@The Gipper
@Mitch Buchannon
@Dubble J
@Mandalorian
@Jazz Wolf
@weaselperson

Episode 4 is up and live. Thanks yet again to Wolf and Tig who sent in a segment for me! Episode 5 is set up now for next week. If you're giving me a segment, please try to have them in by Wednesday. Any segments are definitely appreciated.

Next week's main event is set, but there will be two other matches. Saint Sully, looking for revenge due to the theft, will be having The Trash Mammal compete against an angry El Venagador. While the other 5 contestants (who aren't in the main event with their careers on the line) will be competing in a 5 Way match...stipulation hasn't been decided yet, but it will be wild.

 

[SupineSnake]

i popped for la sobrina's big win on episode three, but then lou cha ((

good work on this so far hemm!

 

[Tig]

I’ve said this before but… Kick arse fucking logo. Love the lucha mask “O”. Really enjoy the commentary chemistry and that’s something I noted mentally as a super interesting pairing since the first episode. Again love the aesthetic of the Mexican arenas, I know you worked to find a list of suitable venues and I take great joy in examining the photos of the arena each week. Such a cool colosseum-like set up. Ideal for viewing fast pace high flying wrestling … which we’re gonna get tons of cause TLC TLC TLC.



side note - gold briefcase ???



I love the little anecdotes from gz past by coms and YES DAIQUAN WHAT IS THAT GOLDEN BRIEFCASE.



Who controls h8 squad? Get ur shit together and represent gz in fwa ffs



Ty Johnson: Well first of all, it's night time. Second of all, who would carrying their lunch in a flashy golden suitcase?



Daiquan Andrews: Saint Sulley.



-checks out



On a real non overly excited one - Shit this episode really is setting the stakes. Anyone who loses this week is basically in trouble. Consequences!



Taboo out first makes my brain think “taboo steals shiny briefcase”. Also good question posed - is Hemmlock a kid? Or is she president of TLPoAA (non profit)????? When I seen tables match I wondered if Hemm were to win, how she would do so with a huge size disadvantage. Nice to see a clever, logical ending implemented here. Hemm safe for a while now anyway. In a familiar pinstripe suit, eh? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.



Ghostface and trash mammal seg is awesome. Trash showing some seriously good character portrayal potential and honestly? Probably who I would most like to see in a fully fledged fwa rp now. Halloween knight tag set up is FUN.



I love the self aware commentary sprinkled heavily throughout the show. Ladder matches without a retrievable object are weird, right Lou Cha with the schoolboy!??? Joe Burr confirmed.



-LaVonny stuff



I know chairs match is the SAME as a ladder match without a retrievable object but it feels a hell of a lot more natural. Daiquan 0-3, give my man a break. You’ve got to figure TYLER for a potential winner tbh.



Saint still endorsing burger king I see. Trash mammal. Briefcase. Uhoh. Seg glory awaits. Oh ffs hahaha I lold hard tbh. DAMN I was wrong about the thief of the briefcase!



LaVonny and El Vengador team has sparked an idea. Must reach out. Had a feeling Crowley and khronos might get eliminated tbh when reading match card. Trick or Trash are over af and probably the current stars of the season.



Funnest episode to date so far. Great work.

 

[Sully]

Episode 5: El Combate a Muerte del Pentágono
Live from Arena San Marcos in Aguascalientes, Mexico
Wednesday, March 29th, 2023

Fireworks go off in the small Arena San Marcos, an arena typically used for bullfighting during the San Marcos National Fair. Tonight it's used for wrestling, and not just any wrestling, Lucha Wrestling!

Things are getting started right out of the gate as all five opponents are already in the ring. They are surrounded by a cage covered in barbed wire.

Ty Johnson: Welcome to Ground Zero! And this week's theme?

Daiquan Andrews: BARBED WIRE.

Ty Johnson: That's right. Or well, it's at least the theme of this first match. Something we call a Pentagon death match. Five contestants will be in the cage. Whoever gets the pin first, wins.

Daiquan Andrews: Do they get anything for winning?

Ty Johnson: Immunity! Whoever wins this one will be guaranteed to make it to the Semi Finals, Daiquan. So yes, huge stakes are on the line.

Daiquan Andrews: Huge steaks? I'll have a porterhouse please.

Ty Johnson: Speaking of porterhouses, this isn't the only match tonight. Second on the card will be The Trash Mammal going up against El Venegador. It's somewhat of a punishment match, as...according to our host Saint Sully, Mamifero is the one who stole his E.

Daiquan Andrews: First of all, what does that have to do with porterhouses? Secondly, Mamifero DID steal the E. We saw him with it in last week's main event.

Ty Johnson: Never the less, Sully wants revenge. And El Venegador is the biggest dude left on the roster.

Daiquan Andrew: I wouldn't wanna mess with him.

Ty Johnson: And lastly we have our main event, one that was booked since last week. The losers of last week's three mid card matches are forced to compete tonight in a Weapons of Mass Destruction triple threat match. Whoever gets the first pin stays, while the other two will be going home.

Daiquan Andrews: So, tell me about this cage?

Ty Johnson: It's covered in barbed wire!

Daiquan Andrews: Wow.
​

Match One Three Team (Non-Elimination) 5 Way Pentagon Deathmatch​

vs vs vs vs ​

​

Winner: “Cien Vidas” LaVonny Toner​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: It became team vs team out of the gate as LaVonny and Hemmlock would team up against Lou Cha and Halloween Knight. Tyler stayed in the background trying to avoid conflict as long as he could. Lou Cha took a lot of damage from the barbed wire throughout the match, as LaVonny would target him specifically any chance he could. Meanwhile Hemmlock's speed allowed her to dodge most of Halloween Knight's attacks. In the end however, it was the alliance of LaVonny and Hemmlock that would be Hemmlock's undoing, as after incapacitating most of the competition together, LaVonny would betray Hemmlock with a cutter and pin her for the win.​

Hemmlock looked surprised at LaVonny's betrayal, but understanding never the less. Lou Cha meanwhile was getting medical attention from the trainers due to cuts and scrapes he took from the barbed wire. Tyler and Halloween Knight both were a bit limpy themselves.

Ty Johnson: What a brutal match!

Daiquan Andrews: But the only one who's pain was worth it...was LaVonny Toner.

Ty Johnson: That's right. He has guaranteed immunity going for next episode, which means he is guaranteed to make it to next week's semi finals.


*Commercial Break*

​

---

Ah, the alleyway behind Ground Zero. So comforting. So familiar, so-

BANG.

Our serendipitous opening is rashly and rudely interrupted by the back door of the arena being kicked open! Out runs a skeleton and a giant possum!

Wait, no, sorry, that’s Halloween Knight and Mamifero De Basura, Trick or Trash, respectively. I thought the tag team version was last season… Nevertheless. Mamifero De Basura, the inexplicably popular Trash Mammal, is clutching a revered and priceless artifact between his teeth - The E, the mythical symbol of St. Sully, that separated him from other Sullys of the world. He scrambles down the steps, while Halloween Knight - poor Halloween Knight is on the far side of 40 and barely works more than a handful of matches a year but goodness, he’s trying his best - jams his trusty steel chair between the door and the ground, hoping to stave off their determined pursuer. The two hurriedly look around the deserted alley, spying only the usual dumpster and nowhere else to possibly hide. Mamifero De Basura makes a beeline for it, scrambling to climb inside.

Halloween Knight: Basura, no! It’s the first place he’ll look!

Mamifero De Basura spits the E into the dumpster, before grabbing Halloween Knight and dragging him up.

Mamifero De Basura: We ain’t exactly awash with options, Skeletor! Get in!

With a sigh, Halloween Knight flops into the dumpster, the lid clanging shut behind him.

Halloween Knight: What am I sitting on?

Mamifero De Basura: Shoish! Like you’ve nevah sat on a cake before.

The two fall silent, as outside the dumpster, the door to the arena is kicked open again, sending Halloween Knight’s improvised blockage clattering across the pavement. Out stomps a furious St. Sully, eyes darting around in hopes of locating the rodent thief and the bone dancer. His gaze falls upon the dumpster, and he takes a step towards it-

Then another step back.

St. Sully: No. It’s too obvious, a master thief like that would never hide somewhere so obvious.

Assuring himself, Sully tears his gaze away, marching in the opposite direction whilst grumbling beneath his breath. The alleyway soon falls silent, save for the quiet creaking as a head slowly peeks through the lid of the dumpster.

Mamifero De Basura: Is he gone?

Halloween Knight: For at least another seven days, it looks like.

Mamifero De Basura: Thank gawd fer routine schedules.

Halloween Knight carefully climbs out, wiping grime from his suit. The Trash Mammal yeeted himself out, splattering on the concrete with zero grace. The two let out a sigh.

Halloween Knight: Why did you even think to steal that?

Mamifero De Basura: Steal what?

Halloween Knight: …

Mamifero De Basura: ‘M serious. Narrow it down, would ya?

Halloween Knight: Tu jodes- Sully’s E!

Mamifero De Basura: What, this ol’ thing?

Mamifero De Basura stretches, bending into the dumpster once again and retrieving… Sully’s E. He juggles it in his hands, shrugging.

Mamifero De Basura: I dunno. Thought it looked neat.

Halloween Knight: You… You risked earning the wrath of one of the most powerful political figures in wrestling and creating an angry, vengeful enemy… Because it looked neat.

Mamifero De Basura: Yeah. What, why ya lookin’ at me like that?

Halloween Knight merely shakes his head.

Halloween Knight: I’m getting too old for this.

Mamifero De Basura: Huh. Ain’t it the most-used letter of the English alphabet? That’s gotta count fer sumthin’. Oh, here’s an idea - The Trashè Mammal. Eh? Eh?

Halloween Knight: You stole the letter E, not the letter E with an accent on it.

Mamifero De Basura: Eh, potayto, pótahtó.

Halloween Knight: That’s not- yeah sure I don’t want to care right now. You should probably give it back, anyway.

Halloween Knight does not look impressed. He displays as much with a cold glare to his possum partner. The Trash Mammal groans and rolls his eyes and continues going so for about twenty seconds straight, only stopping when Knight’s glare doesn’t lighten up.

Mamifero De Basura: … Ya really think he’ll want it back that much?

Halloween Knight: You saw him staring at us as he chased us through the arena? He was ready to kill you and feed you to his daughter.

Mamifero De Basura: Eh… Fine. We’ll sneak back into his office and put it back in his fancysmanchy briefcase, then gaslight him into thinking it was there all along. Roight?

Halloween Knight: Terrible plan, but fine.

With a resigned sigh, Mamifero De Basura throws the E around his neck again, before stepping up to the back door -

BANG.

When it is suddenly kicked open AGAIN. This time the doorknob of the door catches De Basura right in the kidney. He makes a kind of spluttering noise that one normally hears from dying roadkill. And the recently eliminated KHRONOS steps through the door! Why Khronos? Because I never get to interact with a Mitch character.

Halloween Knight: … Oh right, your interview/not interview thing.

Mamifero De Basura: My kidney-

Halloween Knight: Go on, do your thing.

Mamifero De Basura: Gawd, it hurts. Roight, roight. So is even a broken clock correct twice a day, or-

The Trashè Mammal drags himself to a vertical base, mostly using Khronos for assistance, while Khronos watches, bemusedly. Mamifero De Basura’s usual shitpost-of-a-segment spiel is cut off as Mamifero De Basura lightly grazes Khronos’ hand…

And all of space and time flashes before his eyes.

Khronos, the god of time, stares into Mamifero De Basura’s soul, his red vortex swirling. Around him, all possible futures and timelines intersect, crossing over, new universes creating and failing with each nanosecond. Khronos sees it all. He sees everything, everywhere, everytime.

And maybe out of spite for being eliminated, he allows Mamifero De Basura to glimpse the same infinite abyss, a glimpse of endless possibilities as far as the eyes could see, a glimpse that normal, lesser men would turn rabid at.

The problem being is that, as previously stated, Mamifero De Basura already has rabies.

The contact is broken. Khronos dips his hand away, already making his leave, while Mamifero De Basura blinks. Halloween Knight waves a hand in front of his face.

Halloween Knight: Uh. You good?

Mamifero De Basura slowly turns, meets Halloween Knight’s gaze… And grins a toothy grin.

Mamifero De Basura: Change a’ plans! We’re keeping the E.

Halloween Knight: ... Why?

Mamifero De Basura: All in due time, Skelly. All in due time.

He laughs, retreating to the dumpster. For Khronos’ glimpse into the timestream may have been a spiteful attempt to turn a man raving mad by filling his mind with infinite knowledge of all possible futures, what it really did was show Mamifero De Basura a possible future, if certain cards were played right.

A future of two men, holding the FWA Tag Team Championships.

One was Halloween Knight.

The other wasn’t the Trash Mammal.

More specifically, it was the Trashè Mammal.

Cut to black.​

---

When we return, both El Venegador and Mamifero De Basura are in the ring. Also at ring side is none other than Saint Sully, who is staring angrily into the ring.

The Trashè Mammal has Sully's E around his neck, but Sully is hoping after a beating from El Venagador, he'll get it back.

Ty Johnson: I can say more than anyone that...Saint Sully is not someone you want to have upset with you. He has some very powerful connections, and that's beyond his two fists.

Daiquan Andrews: Didn't he have you framed and sent to prison?

Ty Johnson: Yes, exactly! And I didn't do anything to him. I can't imagine what he has in store for Trashè Mammal if he doesn't relinquish the E.

​

Match Two Team Vamprya vs Team Fantasy (Non-Elimination) Singles Match​

vs ​

​

Winner: Mamifero De Basura by DQ​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: El Venegador put quite a beating on Mamifero, but Trashè Mammal refused to give up. He broke out of pin after pin, despite all of the pain Vengador was inflicting. Eventually, Saint Sully lost his patience at ringside. He grabbed a steel chair and threw it into the ring. Then attempted to distract the referee. Unfortunately for Vengador, the ref turned around in time to see El Vengador smacking Mamifero in the face with the chair, and rang the bell for the DQ. ​

Following the DQ, Saint Sully tried to get in and take his E back...but Halloween Knight ran down the ramp. This allowed Trashè Mammal to scurry away through the crowd as fast as possible.

In anger, Sully then directed his attention towards Halloween Knight! Knight back peddled up the ramp, regretting his choices as the host stomped towards him...

But, Saint Sully then was tapped on the shoulder. He turned around only to eat a steel chair from El Vengador! The same chair that got El Vengador disqualified, thanks to Sully.

Ty Johnson: OH DAMN!

Daiquan Andrews: I guess Vengador isn't happy that Sully forced him to use the chair.

Ty Johnson: I mean, a loss is a loss...and believe it or not, I don't think Vengador cares as much about Sully's E as Sully does.

We cut to commercial as Sully lays on the floor holding his face and crying about his E as both Halloween Knight and El Vengador escape to the back.

*Commercial Break*

​

---

We fade back in on a dark city street. It must be late at night when this was recorded because there’s barely a soul to be found on the pretty much abandoned strip. The ground is wet, suggesting a recent rain. The purple footsteps of El Vengador splash through a puddle as we begin to hear his voice.

El Vengador: “I’m a stranger in this strange land. I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t want to come here. I never intended to enter this competition… but you brought me here. You took something from me. Something important. SomeONE important. I’ve chased you across the universes… I know you’re here.”

Vengador stops in his tracks as he approaches a side alley. He looks down the alley.

El Vengador: “You’re running out of places to run. Running out of places to hide. I will find you. I will show you no mercy. Just as you showed no mercy to my brother. You will suffer the same fate as him at my hands.”

He slowly walks into the dark alley, making his way as a fog rolls through the air. Police sirens are heard in the background.

El Vengador: “Unfortunately, I don’t know who you are. But I will find out.”

A crunching noise is heard as Vendgador steps on a plastic bottle lying on the ground. He stops and bends over to inspect it as well as a large dumpster to his left, outside the back door of an Italian restaurant.

El Vengador: “I imagine my brother’s killer to be the lowest of the low lives from the ugliest parts of the multiverse. Dark… seedy… shifty… the type of person you could simply look at and know they’re bad news. Someone lower than trash. That brings me to you… Mamífero… you know a thing or two about trash, don’t you? And it appears you’re not above petty theft. What other crimes are you capable of?”

Vengador balls up the plastic bottle with his fist and tosses it into the dumpster.

El Vengador: “No amount of garbage can hide you from my wrath, Mamífero. Tonight, I plan to take out the trash.”

Vengador continues on his way down the smoky alley as we fade out.​

---

As we return, the ring is set up for the main event. A Weapons of Mass Destruction match. Amongst the ladders and chairs are two large military cases filled with all sorts of fun goodies to use.

Ty Johnson: And we are back for the final match of the night. The one that will decide which two contestants are going home next.

Daiquan Andrews: It's between Taboo, La Sobrina Del Horror Cosmico, and Lone Shark.

Ty Johnson: I'm going to have to go with Lone Shark...I saw a baseball bat amongst the weapons, and you know he's gotta be good at hitting people in the knees with it.

Daiquan Andrews: I'm surprised it took us this long to make that joke.

Ty Johnson: You know, hopefully there aren't any actual weapons of mass destruction in those cases...

Daiquan Andrews: Just imagine if Taboo pulls out a nuke.

Ty Johnson: ...I'm actually sort of concerned now.


​

Match Three Three Team Elimination Triple Threat Weapons of Mass Destruction Match​

vs vs ​

​

Winner: Taboo (Team Vamprya)​

Eliminated: Lone Shark (Team Wizard) and La Sobrina Del Horror Cosmico (Team Fantasy)​

Recap: No actual nukes were in any of the cases thankfully, but there were plenty of toys that were used throughout the match. As predicted, Lone Shark did in fact find a baseball bat and hit Taboo in the knees with it. Cosmico and Lone Shark spent most of the match going after each other however, as nobody took Taboo quite too seriously. This would be their downfall, as after Cosmico took down Lone Shark with a Cosmic Remix, Taboo would come launching himself off a ladder while holding a steel chair, landing frog splash style on Cosmico. Lone Shark then tried to get up, but Taboo would then quickly take the baseball bat from earlier, and hit him in the head with it! Taboo covered Lone Shark quickly and got the win. ​

Cosmico and Lone Shark were both left shocked in the ring as Taboo celebrated his victory! The rest of Team Vamprya joined him now as the former TV Champion's team now had more members left than any other.

Ty Johnson: He did it! Taboo actually did it!

Daiquan Andrews: He will survive another week.

Ty Johnson: Meanwhile, it's worth noting...Tyler is the only one left remaining on Team Wizard...with three episodes to go.

Daiquan Andrews: That is not good news for Konchu Hao's team.

Ty Johnson: It is not, and with just 8 competitors left, things are really slimming down. Next week, we have the Don't Get Pinned Tournament, after that...the Semi Finals.

Daiquan Andrews: I just can't wait, Ty.

Ty Johnson: But you must! Because, that's all we have. Thank you for tuning in with us folks, and have a good night.

The camera zooms in on Taboo still celebrating as he runs around the ring screaming like a maniac...just before fading to black.
​

 

[Sully]

@Princess Rosé
@Jimmy King
@Gacy
@AON
@The Gipper
@Mitch Buchannon
@Dubble J
@Mandalorian
@Jazz Wolf
@weaselperson

And here we are with Episode 5! Big thanks to Wolfie and Dubb this week for sending in segments. Things are heating up as we have just three episodes remaining.

Next week (Episode 6) will be the Don't Get Pinned Tournament. LaVonny will get a week of rest due to winning the Pentagon deathmatch this week. So, the remaining three team members of Team Vamprya will have a Triple Threat match, and the remaining three team members of Team Fantasy will have a triple threat match. Whoever gets pinned in those two matches will end up in the main event's triple threat match...a Triple Threat Elimination Match where only one can remain. The two in the main event who get pinned will go home. Oh, and Tyler...being the only member left on Team Wizard, will automatically be in the main event. Don't get pinned!

Per usual you have a good week to send in segments for Episode 7. Then, there will be 1 week hiatus before Episode 8 due to the fact that there will be real promos, grading, etc for the final episode...most likely, which means Episode 8's finale will likely air on April 19th.

 

[Sully]

Episode 6: No Te Quedes Clavado
Live from Domo San Luis in San Luis Potosí, Mexico
Wednesday, April 5th, 2023

The fireworks go off as the crowd gets hyped for another episode of Ground Zero live from San Luis Potsi tonight! There are just three episodes left of Ground Zero as the roster begins to shrink smaller and smaller.

Ty Johnson: WELCOME TO GROUND ZERO! We have a good one today as we have just three episodes of Ground Zero left. And two of them will be tonight and tomorrow.

Daiquan Andrews: And as we inch closer to the finale, we begin our final tournament. That starts tonight with our Don't Get Pinned tournament, followed by the Semi Finals tournament tomorrow night.

Ty Johnson: In other words, we're in for a ton of action as we close this one out. Tell us about the Don't Get Pinned Tournament Daiquan.

Daiquan Andrews: It's just as it sounds...don't get pinned.

Ty Johnson: Straight to the point. That's right though, we're starting off tonight with two triple threat matches. One is Team Vamprya's contestants, and the other is Team Fantasy's. Whoever gets pinned in each match? Is competing in the main event tonight, which is an elimination triple threat match.

Daiquan Andrews: And whoever gets pinned in that one, goes home.

Ty Johnson: Now what about LaVonny Toner, is he competing tonight?

Daiquan Andrews: Don't you remember Ty? He won last week's Pentagon Deathmatch, which means he is immune from elimination and has a bye going into tomorrow night's Semi Finals.

Ty Johnson: Ah that's right, but...what about Team Wizard? They don't have a triple threat match, do they?

Daiquan Andrews: No, they don't...that's because there's only one member of Team Wizard left, and that's Tyler. So instead of competing in a triple threat match, he's just going striaght to the main event.

Ty Johnson: Wow, sucks for him.

Daiquan Andrews: Well, maybe he should've done a segment at some point or something.

Ty Johnson: Ooh, fourth wall break! Anyway, let's get things started.


All three members of Team Vamprya are in the ring ready to go, excluding LaVonny Toner who is watching from the side.

​

Match One Team Vamprya (R1) Triple Threat Match​

View attachment 46287 vs View attachment 46284 vsView attachment 46279 ​

​

Winner: Hemmlock​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: It looked like El Vengador was going to get this one after dominating Taboo for a good majority of the match, with Hemmlock ducking around and staying back. But at the last second Hemmlock took advantage, after Taboo got the upper hand on El Vengador and knocked him out, Hemmlock rolled up Taboo for the win.​

Ty Johnson: And Hemmlock shocks the world again by winning this one! She is going to the Semi Finals! Judelock would be proud.

Daiquan Andrews: El Vengador doesn't look happy about getting robbed of the win, but lucky for him he's on his way to the Semi FInals too.

Ty Johnson: The only one who isn't going to the semi-finals for sure yet is- OH MY GOD

And with that, El Vengador picks up Taboo and slams him back to the ground. Despite the fact that the match is over, Vengador continues to take out his anger on poor Taboo. He drags Taboo to the outside of the ring, and then launches him like a rocket into the steel steps. He then picks up the steps, and smacks poor Taboo with them over and over again.

Finally, when you can't even recognize the steps as steps anymore, El Vengador throws them down on Taboo and walks away with the crowd booing him loudly as a result. Medics rush to Taboo's aid as we cut to commercial.
​

---

You know the drill at this point.

Alleyway, dumpster, shenanigans, let's get into it.

The back exit of the arena is pushed open, as recently eliminated Ground Zero contestant Lone Shark steps out, dejected. He sighs dramatically, taking a step forward and staring expectantly at the dumpster.

Nothing happens.

Lone Shark politely knocks on the lid of the dumpster, to no effect.

Looks like the usual shitpost-of-a-segment is a bust this week.

He kicks a peddle down the alleyway, hands in his pockets, until-

???: Psst, Bruce!

There's the voice! Lone Shark perks up, spinning on his heel, towards the source of the voice - another dumpster of the exact same size and color of the first. The lid creaks open, and lo and behold, it's Mamifero De Basura! The Trashè Mammal pokes his head out, checking the make sure the coast is clear, before lifting the lid fully, banging it against the brick wall behind it, and leaning out with a toothy smirk. Sully's stolen E dangled from his neck, swaying majestically in the wind.

Mamifero De Basura: What, didncha think I'd miss a show? Shaddup, I'm on a roll here.

Lone Shark: I did notice you've been submitting tapes later and later.

Mamifero De Basura: An' I noticed usually my guests don't have voicelines! I gots a strong social life, sue me!

Mamifero De Basura casually checks his fingernails, in the way that was anything but casual, as Lone Shark glances at the first dumpster, and jerks a thumb at it.

Lone Shark: So what's with the other dumpster? That wasn't here last week.

Mamifero De Basura: Decoy dumpster.

Lone Shark: Oh.

Mamifero De Basura: Look, eventually Sully-

Lone Shark: Don't you mean 'Sulley'?

Mamifero De Basura: No. Eventually Sully's gonna actually check the dumpster during his wild goose chase of lil' ol' moi, so having a SECOND dumpster is the perfect decoy! What's he going ta do, check BOTH dumpsters? Naw, he's a busy bee, got places to be, so he'll check the dumpster that's always there and ignore the second, cos if I ain't in the first why would I be in the second? See? 'S what we in the business call 'flawless logic.'

Lone Shark detected several flaws in this plan, but elected not to vocalize them. He instead cleared his throat awkwardly.

Lone Shark: So-

Mamifero De Basura: Hold that thought, Sharknado.

The oversized rodent bends into the dumpster, rummaging around, before returning with a bottle of water. He tosses it to Lone Shark, who catches it in one hand like a cool guy does, before inspecting it with an unimpressed gaze.

Mamifero De Basura: Ta-da! Gots ya a gift!

Lone Shark: ... This is a bottle of water you swiped from catering.

Mamifero De Basura: What do you take me for, an idiot? It's a bottle of salt water I swiped from somewhere not important.

Lone Shark jerked his head up, staring at the Trashè Mammal in surprise.

Lone Shark: Salt water?!?

Mamifero De Basura: Sharks live in salt water, ya doink. Figured you'd be missing it.

Lone Shark: OH SHELL YEAH.

Mamifero De Basura: Is that trademarked? I feel like that might be trademarked.

Trashè Mammal's query doesn't get an answer, as Lone Shark is too busy unscrewing the bottle of salt water. He dips a finger into the bottle, relaxing with the familiar texture.

Lone Shark: Yeah, that's the stuff...

Lone Shark then proceeds to guzzle down the entire bottle of salt water, sloooooooowly. Bit by bit, making eye contact with a visibly concerned Mamifero De Basura the entire time.

Mamifero De Basura: ... I didn't... I didn't think y'd drink it. I mean, yeah, you'd drink it, a'ourse you'd drink it, you're a friggin' shark, but still. Thought you'd just... rub it on yer skin.

Lone Shark: That'd be weird. So what's with the gift, anyway?

Trashè Mammal leans down, throwing an arm around Lone Shark's shoulders, before gesturing dramatically.

Mamifero De Basura: See, us creature-based guys, we gots ta stick together! It's a dog-eat-dog-eat-dog world out there, and us underdogs should look out for each other, ya dig?

Lone Shark: Neither of us have dog motifs.

Mamifero De Basura: Not the point. Just wanted ta do a lil' nice thing for ya, before the usual shitpost segment.

Lone Shark: Oh yeah, the segment. No puns please.

Mamifero De Basura: No promises.

Out comes the clipboard! Mamifero De Basura clears his throat, squinting, before wiping away some stains from his paper.

Mamifero De Basura: One very interesting factoid about you sharks is that, when flipped upside down, you get reverted to a paralyzed state called 'tonic immobility.' During this state the shark drifts in a trance-like manner and is generally non-responsive. Obviously, turning you upside down and dumping you on your head would get the same results regardless of whether you were a shark or a human or anything in between, but another way to induce tonic immobility in sharks is to simply... Boop them on the nose. Jus' a lil boop snoot, and they just start vibing. In saying that, what measures have you taken to ensure nobody boops you on the nose during a wrestling match?

Lone Shark tapped a finger against his jaw, considering the question, before-

Oh no, footsteps approaching! Dangerously familiar footsteps! The Trashè Mammal squeaks, clutching his stolen E between his teeth, before ducking into his dumpster and throwing the lid shut before Lone Shark can answer. And just in the nick of time, as St. Sully kicks the back door open, marching down the steps!

St. Sully: I heard his voice! Where is that rodent?!?

He spies the two dumpsters! And Lone Shark standing awkwardly beside one. He stomps over, glancing back and forth, before ripping open the lid of of of them with a huff.

It's empty.

St. Sully: Damnit! I swear I heard that E-theiving vermin...

He glances at the second dumpster, next to Lone Shark, and tilts a head...

Before shaking it.

St. Sully: No, if he wasn't in the first dumpster, why would he be in the second? I must be hearing things...

He pauses, glancing at Lone Shark.

St. Sully: ... Is that a bottle of salt water?

Lone Shark: Yup. Want some?

St. Sully: ... I'm good, thank you.

He marches back up the steps, closing the door behind him. Lone Shark blinks.

Lone Shark: That should not have worked, Mamifero.

From within the dumpster, nothing but delighted laughter echoes, along with a single screech of 'TRICK OR TRASH, BABY' as we fade to black...​

---

Ty Johnson: We're back for another one! We've got the Team Fantasy Triple Threat now.

Daiquan Andrews: I'm rooting for Lou Cha!

Ty Johnson: LOU CHA! LOU CHA! LOU CHA!

With all three members of Team Wizard in the ring, it's time to get started.

​

Match Two Team Fantasy (R1) Triple Threat Match​

vs vs View attachment 46280​

​

Winner: Halloween Knight (Team Fantasy)​

Eliminated: None​

Recap: The duo of Trick or Trash are not playing around as they team up in this Triple Threat match, targeting Lou Cha the entire way. It may as well have been a handicapped match. Lou Cha tried to fend them off, but there was no use. Although they worked together, it was Halloween Knight who got the pin instead of Mamifero. But Maifero was happy enough just to be there.​

Lou Cha laid on the mat as both Halloween Knight and Trashe Mammel celebrate their advancement to the Semi Finals.

Daiquan Andrews: That was ridiculous! This was supposed to be a triple threat match. Trick or Trash had no business teaming up in this one.

Ty Johnson: Hey, there's no rules against it!

Daiquan Andrews: Well now Lou Cha has to compete in tonight's main event. And it's coming up after this commercial. He better get ready.
​

---

Though he is in the usual, indiscernible room, something is notably different tonight for LaVonny Toner: he isn’t unwillingly cuffed on a chair. Quite the opposite in fact as the sprightly LaVonny is bouncing on the spot rotating between lightning-quick shadow boxing and an array of impressive kicks. He looks pumped up, he looks sharp, he… looks happy? LaVonny stops moving for a moment and takes a second to focus his breathing before jumping high in the air and executing what surely would have been a decapitating crescent kick.

“You seem in high spirits.”

“Cien Vidas” whips his head around, but even before he locks his eyes on the intruder, the calm, monotone voice was a dead giveaway. He had spent the last two months in the white-masked man’s company after all, only being allowed a weekly hour of freedom (you could scarcely define it as this) when Ground Zero rolled around. LaVonny had come to look forward to Wednesdays, to getting in the ring, to going out there and putting it all on the line but furthermore, he’d grown somewhat accustomed to the man in the white mask and no longer was completely silent in his company.

“It’s Wednesday.”

“Indeed it is, indeed it is.”

The white masked man walks forward cautiously, his permanent slight limp the probable reason for the pace at which he did so. Still, LaVonny figured the man to be methodical rather than slow. As he approaches LaVonny, he continues speaking.

“In fact it is our sixth Wednesday together, and while I must admit that I’m delighted we’ve been able to advance beyond these…”

He holds up a set of cable ties.

“You have still failed to provide any satisfactory answers to the questions I have asked you.”

“Satisfactory? Who’s the judge of that? I told you I don’t remember a fucking thing!”

LaVonny fixes the white-masked man a fiery glare following his snappy response and gets met with silence. Finally, after a lengthy pause, the man speaks.

“I must say it is nice to see you showing some fire. We’re going to need that… you are going to need that if you’re to advance from the next episode into the final.”

Exasperated, LaVonny cries out.

“Who is ‘we’? Why can’t anyone tell me what’s going on? I don’t know anything, I told you! The last thing I remember is walking down the ramp at The Warehouse.”

“Which is in itself a massive problem. That was a private show for the residents of Tonerville. Absolutely nobody knew about it, so how did you end up there?”

“I DON’T KNOW! I CAN’T REMEMBER!”

The man in the white mask sighs.

“Unfortunately, that’s not good enough - and before you ask me according to who - according to The Boss. He’s actually coming here. He’s coming to Ground Zero to speak to you for himself. Let me warn you: he isn’t as patient as I am.”

“I’m not afraid.”

LaVonny adopts a defiant stance as the man in the white mask gives him the once over.

“I… I know you’re not. That’s what’s worrying. Look, at this stage we’re both going to have to sit tight and wait for The Boss to arrive to see what transpires. I don’t know if he’ll be here in time for your next match on Episode 7 but-”

“You said it was week 6??”

“It is, but you don’t have a match this week.”

All the energy seems to instantly deflate from LaVonny and he hangs his head before meekly questioning his captor.

“But… why not?”

“Because you won your match last week. You have immunity.”

We can just about make out LaVonny grimacing at this sentence beneath his mask. He shakily speaks.

“I-I-I have… I have immunity?”

The man in the white mask slowly nods his head in affirmation as LaVonny’s hands begin to curl up into fists. Rage dripping from every word, LaVonny begins shouting.

“I don’t want it! I DON’T FUCKING WANT IT! I! DON’T! WANT! IMMUNITY!”

“LaVonny, if you could just-”

But the white-masked man is forced to duck and cut his sentence short as LaVonny bundles the chair across the room towards him in a fit of anger and continues to frantically freak out.

“NO! NO! NO! I DON’T WANT IMMUNITY! PLEASE! DON’T MAKE ME! I DON’T WANT IT!!!!!”

The man in the white mask seems startled as LaVonny begins wailing and repeatedly throwing himself against the wall - so much so that welts are forming on his torso and chest. The man in the white mask quickly looks down at his cable ties before charging at LaVonny, limp and all. He manages to bundle him to the ground and -

Static.​

---

When we return, all three competitors for the main event are in the ring and ready to go. Each of them are in a corner as the referee checks them all before getting started.

This match is elimination rules now which means there will be TWO pins.

Ty Johnson: Here we go...elimination time.

Daiquan Andrews: I am still seething over the fact that Lou Cha got screwed in the last round.

Ty Johnson: How about Taboo? He got attacked by El Vengador after the first match...his own teammate, and yet he's back here competing!

Daiquan Andrews: There's no way he is in any shape to do so.

Ty Johnson: That's a good point...does TYLER have an advantage in this one? He's the only one who didn't already wrestle.

Daiquan Andrews: Nah, TYLER if anything has a disadvantage...just for being TYLER. Oh and by the way apparently we were supposed to be capitalizing his name the entire time.

Ty Johnson: Who cares?

Daiquan Andrews: LOL good point.

​

Main Event: Match Three Don't Get Pinned Elimination Match Triple Threat​

vs View attachment 46284 vs ​

​

Winner: Tyler (Team Wizard)​

Eliminated: Taboo (Team Vampyra) and Lou Cha (Team Fantasy)​

Recap: With everything on the table, it was time for the final match of the night. Triple Threat Elimination, if you get pinned you're out. Unfortuntely for Taboo, he was barely able to stand after an attack from El Vengador earlier in the night, and he was the first pin after Lou Cha surprised him with a rollup. It then came down to TYLER and Lou Cha. The two of them went back and forth, but eventually Tyler reversed one of Lou Cha's deadly school boys into a SCHOOL BOY of his own, and pinned the fan favorite to the ring to move onto the Semi Finals.​

In the ring, TYLER celebrates moving onto the Semi Finals while Lou Chao and Taboo sit in sorrow.

Ty Johnson: TYLER wins! TYLER is moving onto tomorrow night's Semi Finals, as he is still the lone standing Team Wizard member.

Daiquan Andrews: Oh that's BS. TYLER had an advantage in this one by being the only one to not compete...or should I say tyler.

Ty Johnson: You can say that, but he also was at a disadvantage because he was the only one never pinned tonight, and still had to compete.

Daiquan Andrews: Well...there's six contenders left. And after tomorrow night, there will only be three.

As Tyler is celebrating, the other five remaining contenders come out onto the ramp. Hemmlock, El Vengador, Halloween Knight, Mamifero, and LaVonny Toner. All six stare each other down as we fade to black.

​

 

[Sully]

@Princess Rosé
@Jimmy King
@Gacy
@AON
@The Gipper
@Mitch Buchannon
@Dubble J
@Mandalorian
@Jazz Wolf
@weaselperson

Another episode of Ground Zero is live! Episode 7 will be posted tonight. You have about 7-8 hours to send in a segment if you wish. Then at the conclusion of that episode, a promo deadline will be set for Week 8's final episode (which will air on April 19th).