Donnie watches WWF 1986

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
February 15th, 1986
Poughkeepsie, NY

TONIGHT JYD VS TERRY FUNK. BOB ORTON IN A BOXING MATCH

Match#1 Superfly Afi vs The Gladiator
Afi is billed as Jimmy Snuka's cousin hence the name. He sucks a ton and the fans turn on him right away by booing the shit out of him and chanting "boring". Goddamn killed him out of the gate and left him for dead. He wins with a horrible splash because Vince isn't even trying to be subtle.
POOP

WWF Update-
-The Bulldogs are powering their way through the competition on the way to a tag title shot.

Match#2 Ricky Steamboat & King Tonga vs Rusty Brooks & Steve Lombardi
RICKY COMES OUT TO "ALSO SPRACH ZARATHRUSTA" WHAT IN THE FUCK VINCE???? YOU CAN'T GIVE HIM THAT THEME OF ALL THE FUCKING CHOICES. Squash rules a ton like the last one, but my mind is just freaking out how wild all of this is. Headbutt from Tonga does it.
*3/4

THE THEME PLAYS AGAIN JUST TO FURTHER FUCK WITH TIME AND SPACE.

Mean Gene-
-Tito Santana is very upset at being robbed of the title and he's upset as he knows Randy will lie about what happened in the match. Savage is bragging that he was going to take the title away, and he pulls out the object Randy used to knock him out. Gene says it's solid steel ,and it's not right this happened. Tito says he saw Randy keep going for it during the match, and that gets him hot and mad. He screams in Spanish to end it. This is the best feud.

Match#3 The Hart Foundation w/Jimmy Hart vs Tony Stetson & Lanny Poffo
Poffo reads a poem saying Adonis and Jimmy are lovers, so the Foundation kick the living shit out of him for it. Awesome offence as always and both look sooooo good. Tony gets killed as well by Bret, and that's a lot of fun as well. Hart Attack ends it
**

Post match they attack Poffo and kick his ass some more. God Bless.

Mean Gene-
-JYD will be teaming with Hogan against Terry and Hoss (Dory) Funk
-JYD says he was beaten to death by them and his wife nearly left him when she saw the scratches that little punk Jimmy Hart left on his body. He and Hogan are going to bite and chew them. Hogan is his ace in the hole and they know what to do.

Match#4 The Killer Bees vs Mike Sharpe & Joe Mirto
The Bees fight my hero for some time, and its good shit. Mike is mental as always and stooges and stalls and gets his ass handed to him by them. and no one can do it like him. The Bees run through Mirto with ease and beat him with a Dropkick
*3/4

Piper's Pit time. Bob is standing there with boxing gloves on, and Piper brings on Jose Luis Rivera who is apparently a boxer and has accepted the challenge. Piper says his wrestling smells and he's got no chance. Jose says he has heart and he can do this and show everyone what he can do. Piper mocks his accent and pisses him off, but it doesn't come to blows as Jose says to meet him in the ring.

Match#5 Bob Orton w/Roddy Piper vs Jose Luis Rivera (Boxing Match)
Bob beats the shit out of him with some wicked punches and really goes to town on him. He catches him with shots to the back of the head just to be a dick about it. He wins via KO.
BOXING

Post fight, Bob hits him again for the hell of it.

WRESTLEMANIA 2 IS COMING

VOTE FOR THE FUCKING SLAMMY'S OR I'LL KILL YOU

Match#6 Terry Funk w/Jimmy Hart vs Junkyard Dog
JYD hits him right away and turns into a hate filled brawl, and it's fantastic as Funker breaks out new sells and bumps for all of it. JYD keeps beating his ass and it's a one man bumping band in the coolest ways. Jimmy tries to help, but JYD kills him. He gets the iron and goes for some sweet revenge on Funk, BUT DORY RUNS OUT AND HITS JYD WITH A BOOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND KILLS THE REF FOR THE DQ
**

Post match, they beat the living shit out of him, and Jimmy rips his shirt off and hits a sweet elbow drop and punches the fuck out of him until the entire babyface locker room runs down and chases him off. Incredible angle.

Mean Gene-
-Jimmy runs on and says he beat the Dog because the Funks told him to get his licks in, and he loves it. Terry and Dory walk on and Terry says he's the silent type like John Wayne and he does his talking through fighting. When he was a boy a nasty dog bit him in the face, and that was the last time that dog was ever saw. He's going to blow Hogan and JYD right off the map and show the world a mean silent man and Terry Funk. They're going to show the WWF by beating a jackass and their world champ.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF MSG-17/2

The Hart Foundation w/Jimmy Hart vs The Killer Bees
Oh shit, here we go again. Great mat work to start once again as they're always fighting for position and control and it feels like the proper fight between these two teams it should be. Bret is the first one to break and crack Blair in the nose and attacks him in the corner and beats the fuck out of him, and it's a jarring but awesome thing to see Bret of all people get sick of being on the mat and turn into a fight. Bret misses an elbow off his rope, and Blair tags in Jumping Jim for the hot tag. It's the same false one as the last time where he gets a knee to the back and the Foundation control him right away, and it makes him look like a dork all things considered. Still, the control rules and is well worth watching, but they need to change it up if this going to be a long feud. Blair's hot tag rules as he pinballs them all over before the break down happens. Everyone tries their best to end it and the final run is very fun before the time limit expires
**3/4

Ricky Steamboat w/King Tonga vs Don Muraco w/Mr Fuji (Martial Arts Match)
All karate strikes are legal and both men are in karate gi's like Royce Gracie. Sadly neither does the train or create the UFC, but it's still a cool thing to see. They throw cool strikes and the like and there'a a ton of hate between them, but something just feels off. Don slams him on the concrete and launches him into a chair to bust him open, and its a really gross cut on Ricky's face. Don beats the piss out of him for a while, but it feels lacking just like the entire feud sadly. Ricky easily fights back and wins with the crossbody. Damn it
**1/2

Hulk Hogan (c) vs Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth (WWF World Championship-Lumberjack match)
Hogan has his ribs taped and Gino and Hayes say he was attacked by Bundy recently in a pearl harbour job, and no one expected him here. HMMMM wonder if we'll see that one day soon. Hogan is pissed and attacks Savage like a coward bitch where poor Randy can't get anything in as Hogan wreaks him. BUNDY TRIPS HIM AND HOGAN GOES AFTER HIM AND HITS HIM! He gets back in and Randy catches him with an eye rake and attacks the ribs and goes to work on him (and throws him back to Bundy so he can get his licks in as well). Randy is super violent and nuts working on the ribs, and Hogan's selling is really good stuff as always. Randy rips the tape off and uses it to pull Hogan in place for a sick axe handle to the ribs to further hurt them. He keeps attacking and finally hits the elbow drop, and hey Hogan hulks up in a really lame call. Hogan kills him quick fast and hits a gross legdrop to the face to win.
**3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
February 22nd, 1986
Poughkeepsie, NY

Jesse is back on commentary!

Match#1 Corp Kirchner, Danny Spivey & Pedro Morales vs Les Thornton, Dave Barbie & Rusty Brooks
EWWWWWWWWWW BROTHER. WHAT'S THAT?

WWF Update-
-Boxing Bob Orton has challenged any man who is wrestling or has wrestled in the WWF to a boxing match.

BUY THE WWF THUMBWRESTLERS OR IRON SHEIK WILL BREAK YOUR BACK

Before his squash, Don Muraco dedicates his piledriver to the best American commentator Jesse Ventura.

Match#2 Don Muraco w/Mr Fuji vs Jeff Londons
Jesse is mad that Vince hasn't show him in the Slammy voting, and Vince says he was saving best for last. Fantastic. Awesome quick and mean Don squash he kills the kid with all his offence and gives him fucking nothing as he should. Vince says next week will be SNME and we will see the Hulk Hogan music video. Great to see them finally promoting the show. Tombstone ends it
*3/4

Post match, Jesse says the ratings go higher every time he's on and Vince needs to check.

They replay Tito's interview from last week.

Match#3 Paul Orndorff vs ??
We come back from the adds to Wonderful kicking the living shit out of a dude that looks like Alex Wright playing Berlyn. Dude is never named other than Vince calling him "mohawk kid" Paul keeps it up throwing a ton of stiff nasty shots to the kid. Vince talks about who would win a body contest between Paul and Jesse, and Jesse says he wins because he's more handsome and women judges would vote for him in a second. Piledriver does the deed.
**

Post match, Paul brings in a kid and poses with him.

Match#4 Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs Paul Roma
Adrian kills rat boy in amazing fat man fashion, and life is ok. He punches him in the face really damn hard and hits the gross DDT to win. In another perfect life he never died and ended up feuding with Jake.
**

Piper's Pit. Piper says no one has accepted Bob's contract as they're all cowards and want nothing to do with this. HULK HOGAN WALKS ON THE PIT WITH A CONTRACT IN HAND, AND PIPER CALLS HIM BOZO AND ASKS IF HE'S FIGHTING BOB. Hogan says he would love to fight him, but he's got an open contract and a friend who made him keep a promise. Piper asks very sincerely if he has a friend, and Hogan smiles and says he has a very good friend who knows about boxing. His friend begged him to get a match with Bob Orton, and Piper says anyone who wants to box him can box him. Hogan writes the name down and Piper grabs the contract AND SCREAMS "MR T" AND HOGAN SAYS HE PITIES THE FOOL AND WALKS OFF. PIPER SAYS THIS IS NOT A VAILD CONTRACT AS THE CAMERA CUTS.



WATCH IT

They air the finish of Tito/Savage.

Match#5 The Dream Team w/Johnny Valiant vs Jim Powers & Scott McGhee
The champs get a few minutes to clobber and stuff, and it's not bad at all. Hammer is Hammer, and Brutus is still trying really hard and doesn't suck in this role at all. Figure Four ends it
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

The file for the 28/2 Spectrum is all fucked up and missing the last part of what looked like an amazing Adonis/Tito match, sadly. We've got two title matches though, so lets see how this goes.

Hulk Hogan (c) vs King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan (WWF World Championship-Spectrum)
Same opening as the last as Hogan avoids him and bounces him over the joint with Bundy takes crazy bumps for a man of his size. Dude just floats and bumps in ways very few big man could ever dream of. Hogan goes for the slam but Heenan shoves Bundy's back to send him on top of Hogan! Short and awesome control seg with all the killer fat man stuff and Hogan selling the damage to his back in fantastic ways that keep holding him back from fighting back until it's time. Bundy hits the Avalanche and Hogan hulks up, and i really hate how he keeps doing this for the major finish. The comeback does rule for 30 seconds before Adrian Adonis in an awesome pink dress runs in and attacks him for the DQ
**1/4

Adrian keeps splashing him, and Bundy joins in until Hogan fights back and beats their asses. He grabs Adrian's wig and wears it as he poses.

Randy Savage (c) w/Miss Elizabeth vs Paul Orndorff (WWF Intercontiental Championship-Spectrum)
Wonderful is ready for Randy's bullshit as he knows this game far too well, and he dominates Randy to start with some sick basics like the coolest armdrag this side of Steamboat. Wonderful grabs soem flowers and gives them to Liz, AND THEN SHOVES THEM DOWN RANDY'S THROAT WHEN HE TRIES TO ATTACK HIM WITH THEM!!! Randy catches him with a knee to the face to take over, and we get a super short but rad crazy Savage control seg. Tons of cool shots and Wonderful bumping his ass off for all of it. Paul catches him coming off the top with a punch to the guts and they fight on the outside where Paul lariats him and rolls back in to win by countout.
**1/2

Heartbroken i didn't get the Adonis/Tito match, but it seems to be lost to time and space.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF SATURDAY'S NIGHT MAIN EVENT
MARCH 1ST, 1986
PHOENIX, AZ

The airing of this show is a bit iffy as TV is spoiling stuff that happens here, but normally it airs after the weekly TV. So, going with this first just to make it easier for the review

Mean Gene-
-Mr T is punching the bag and screams at Gene to go away and not bother him. T says this will be a war and he's going to smash this chump

Tonight. Dream Team vs Bulldogs for the titles. Hogan vs Maruco for the world title. The debut of Hogan's music video.

In the aisle, Gene is with Piper and Orton. Piper shows a newspaper clipping of T and Boy George, and says he wouldn't want his kids hanging out with these freaking weirdos.

We get more clips of T knocking fools out. He speaks to Gene and says he took a dive in Rocky 3 because he needed the money, but this is real life and he's going to knock Orton out. He's a chump who has never worn the gloves and he's going down.

Match#1 Mr T vs Bob Orton w/Roddy Piper (Boxing Match)
T throws really good punches that feel like he's not holding them back because he doesn't know how to. Orton starts cheating to have a chance and catches him in the eye to stop it, and refs tend to T for a while. They fight for 10 more seconds until the round ends, but Orton cheap shots him to knock him down!!! Second run is them going crazy for 20 seconds with Piper trying to help, but T ducks and he hits Orton by mistake. T knocks Orton out of the ring and wins by countout.
BOXING

Post match, Piper gets in the ring and rips his shirt off and dares him to fight, and T shoves the refs away and goes for it. BUT ORTON KNEES HIM IN THE BACK AND THEY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. PIPER GETS A BELT AND WHIPS HIM OVER AND OVER. Fantastic angle.

In the aisle, T says he's going to get Piper one day very soon. It took 2 guys to do dirty stuff and he don't like that and he wants Piper.

Back in the aisle. Heenan says Bundy is ready to take the title off Hogan tonight. Gene says he's not fighting Hogan tonight, and Bundy shouts he wants him. Bobby says he as a contract for the title and he'll sign it anywhere and anytime to get that match. Gene gets angrier and angrier, but Bobby ignores him and calls him a shiny head and leaves.

Match#2 King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan vs Gatorwolf
Bundy murders this cunt in 40 seconds with the Avalanche.
1/2*

Post match, Bundy gets the mic and screams Hogan is his and he's coming for him.

In the aisle, Muraco says everyone wants what he has. He's not agitated that his manager has the flu, and he thinks Hogan is behind it. Don says Fuji found the wisest man to stand in his corner, BOBBY HEENAN. Bobby walks on and says Fuji is his pal and any time the title is on the line, he's there trying to take it.

We see Fuji backstage with an icepack on his head.

In the aisle, Hogan thinks this is very fishy and he wants his Hulkamaniacs to keep their eyes out for him. These two will have to break him to take the title, and no one has been able to do that to him yet.

Match#3 Hulk Hogan (c) vs Don Muarco w/Bobby Heenan (WWF World Championship)
HOGAN DEBUTS REAL AMERICAN. HOLY SHIT YES. Hot opening as always with these two throwing bombs and cheating with back rakes and eye pokes, along with killer bumps. Hogan drops Heenan with a punch and decks Muraco and starts beating his ass and in fun fashion. Don hits a nasty headbutt to get back into it and has a short control seg with some good offence and Hogan selling very well for all of it. Hogan eventually hulks up and does his thing, so Heenan runs in and kicks him in the head for the DQ to save Don after eating a Legdrop.
**3/4

POST MATCH, HOGAN FINALLY GETS HIS HANDS ON BOBBY, BUT BUNDY RUNS IN AND ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND. HE SHOVES HIM IN THE CORNER WHERE DON GRABS HOGAN'S ARMS, AND BUNDY HITS THE AVALANCHE. THEN ANOTHER ONE!!! AND HE RUNS FOR A THIRD AND BOBBY HELP TO PUSH HIM FASTER AHD KILLS HOGAN DEAD. DON DRAGS HIM BACK INTO THE MIDDLE AND BUNDY HITS ONE MORE TO THE RIBS AND THEN ONE MORE TO THE BACK. HOGAN IS DEAD, AND BUNDY SPITS ON HIM AND LEAVES as the faces finally run out and check on Hogan. A crew of medics come and check on him as well and he starts coughing and spluttering! Vince suspects he has crushed ribs.

After the break we see Hogan being taken out on a stretcher.

Vince throws it to the replay of it.

In the back, Hogan is loaded into an ambulance as Gorilla Monsoon screams at people to go away, and he jumps into the ambulance with Hogan. Gene states he's being taken to the hospital in the most obvious and amazing call ever, and Vince tells him to follow them and get an update.

INCREDIBLE ANGLE.

We go to a pre-tape interview from the Dream Team. They cut the same lame promo they've been cutting for the last few weeks about the Dogs being too small and dumb to beat them.

Match#4 The Dream Team (c) w/Johnny Valiant vs The British Bulldogs w/Lou Albano (WWF World Tag Team Championships)
Same opening as all their matches with the Dogs beating the crap out of them, and the champs having no answers. Really sick of them not changing anything up, even it's quite good. Just want some new shit, guys. DK is isolated by Hammer for a while, and that is way better as he beats his already insane brain up a little more in classic Hammer fashion. The bullshit hits when Hammer slams into DK and his legs lands on his chest and the ref counts 3 as both mens shoulders are down, and he gives to the champs.
**12

At the hospital, Gene is standing out the front and says he's not allowed inside but he will update as soon as he knows anything.




Match#5 Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs Junkyard Dog
8 minutes of pure WWF nonsense and bullshit in the best ways possible. Adrian bumps in brand new ways all over the place, shocks everyone with how agile he is the fatter he gets. JYD is trash, but doesn't fuck too much up and at least has a ton of energy throughout due to cocaine. Adrian's control is good shit as he hits super hard and keeps the antics to a minimum so they don't take away from it. JYD throws Jimmy into Adrian and they fall out of the ring and lose via countout.
**

Back at the hospital, Gene is standing by with a doctor. The doc says he has sustained injures to his back, ribs and neck but he has no internal bleeding from what they can see at this time.

Vince says he just got an update from Hogan stating nothing can keep him down and he'll be back.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
March 1st, 1986
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match#1 Ricky Steamboat & King Tonga vs AJ Pertruzi & Terry Gibbs
Another fun one for the sneaky best team in the company all things considered. Wicked martial arts and the like with a ton of fire throughout. Ricky beats AJ with the Crossbody.
**

WWF Update-
-Boxing Bob is a dangerous man, but Mr T is even more dangerous

Match#2 Tito Santana vs Joe Mirto
Sucks that Tito finally gets singles showcases after he loses the title, but what's done is done. Still, the good new is he's still incredible and will stay this way until he leaves in 93, so hell yeah. Vince says Tito might be considering a tag run soon!!!! Figure Four ends it
**

Mean Gene-
-Hulk says this entire thing is kinda disgusting. He was hanging and banging and getting ready to pray when he got a call from the pound. JYD was jumped by the Funks and needs help from his brother, and he's going to do it in spite of being in a war with Bundy and Muraco. Hulk says he made a commitment to his friends and he could never say no to a friend.

Match#3 The British Bulldogs w/Lou Albano vs The Gladiator & Barry O
Dogs don't miss and this is another case of it. Super impressive power stuff on Gladiator for a while as they really show off what goddamn freaks they are. Davey launches DK into a flying headbutt for the win.
**

Mean Gene-
-Randy Savage comes in. Savage says there was no crime except history being made and he denies everything. He says this belt has never had and never will have as much prestige again as it will right now when the Macho Man holds it, yeah. He's not wrong. He makes Liz tell everyone that he's the champion

Match#4 King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd w/Bobby Heenan vs Gatorwolf & Mike Saxton
"This is a team of Mighty Joe Young & King Kong"-Bruno. Normal 50/50 squash of Bundy being the fucking man and more than earning his role as top heel, and Studd is a trashbag who deserves losing his place to a far better big man. Bundy wins with with two sick as fuck Avalanches and the 5 count.
*3/4

Piper's Pit with Bundy and Heenan. Piper says he wants to give him a humantarian award for getting rid of a disease that makes little kids sick AND THAT'S WATCHING HULK HOGAN AMAZING. Bundy congratulates them on leaving T out cold on the canvas and whipping him like a dog. Piper says he heard the bones crushing of Hogan, and Bundy says it felt great to feel them be crushed underneath him. Piper mocks the fans for crying, and Bundy says they were happy tears because Hogan is finished. Piper declares Bundy the world champion and bows to Heenan.

We go to the studio where Mean Gene is standing by. He shows clips from SNME. Again the airing of these shows are really weird and it's not like WWF to not be on top of it during the peak, but there you go.

Match#5 Terry Funk & Hoss Funk w/ Jimmy Hart vs. SD Jones & Nelson Veilleux
Funker's get 5 minutes to show what they can do as a team, and it's not bad at all. Jobber suck shit and Hoss is prone to be a boring dude, but he's ok here. Terry is god as always, so it evens out. Hoss wins with a Boston (or Texas) crab
*1/2

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Maple Leaf Wrestling
March 1st, 1986
Hamilton, Ontario

Match#1 Tito Santana & Junkyard Dog vs Frank Marconi & Ron Shaw
Goddamn it, stop this right now. Tito works the entire match in a funny moment and wins with the Figure Four. Why even bother having JYD there???
*

Match#2 Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff w/Freddie Blassie vs Mark Ragie & Tony Stetson
I cant wait for Slick to show up and for these morons to finally fall into the abyss. Sheik humbles one of them for the win
Poop.

Interviews-
-Jimmy Hart says they'll be getting rid of the Bees and taking the tag titles soon enough.
-Adrain walks on and says he's going take off Animal's fur jacket and wear it for himself because he likes hairy things.

Match#3 Ricky Steamboat & King Tonga vs Steve Lombardi & Johnny K9
Now this is more like it!!. Super rad stuff from the fellas as always with a ton of wicked strikes and good jobbers willing to eat all the shit. Meng is really on one as he gets super stiff and mean and hurls K9 to the floor and fucks his day up. He's already this good, and i cant wait for the heel turn. He wins with a sweet flying headbutt.
**

Interviews-
-George Steele walks on and says "ADONIS DIFFERENT"

Match#4 The Hart Foundation w/Jimmy Hart vs AG Armstrong & Andre Mello
Sick follow up to the last awesome squash. The boys are back in red tonight in a super jarring choice. They batter the hell out of these dorks with cool power stuff and Bret's ever expanding array of offence that is getting meaner and smoother by the week. Hart Attack does it.
**

The Body Shop with Randy and Liz. Jesse says they are teaming together to face Tito and JYD, and they're going to take them off the map. Tito and JYD walk on and make them freak out. Tito says everyone knows Randy can't beat anyone fair and square and he knocked him out. They're going to pay and they're going to teach them how to do it. Jesse tells him not cry because he has sour grapes. JYD scares them off, and Tito says running away is the best thing they do. It's going to be a long night for them and Randy's butt is his. JYD stumbles over his words to end it.

WRESTLEMANIA 2

Match#5 Pedro Morales vs Barry O
The run of killer squashes stops with a screeching halt of an old man squash. The fans chant boring, and i'm legit not sure who they're aiming it at. Really awful stuff for a few minutes from both as they struggle to do anything good or cool, and it dies a death. Pedro wins with a backbreaker.
1/2*

Match#6 Hillbilly Jim & Cousin Luke vs Mr X & Joe Willams
DON'T GO MESSING WITH A COUNTRY BOY

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
March 8th, 1986
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match#1 Corp Krichner & Danny Spivey vs Johnny K9 & Barry O
Vince outright not calling them "US Express 2" is a massive oversight and mistake on his part. Again they put on a decent squash as Corp hits hard enough for a goof and doesn't mess too much up, and Danny's getting a little better each week. Goes too long at 5 minutes, but it's not horrid or anything to their credit. Samoan Drop ends it
*1/2

WWF Update-
Lord Al covers the slammy awards from this past weekend.
-Roddy Piper wins best personality!!!
-SD also wins an award for best solo. He thanks God and his wife.

BUY THE WWF THUMB WRESTLERS FROM LJN

Match#2 Paul Orndroff vs Les Thorton
Les jumps him like a coward and gets a run in and it's pretty good. Wonderful shuts him down and beats the hell out of him for it, and he's a real motherfucker in a squash as always. He wins with a super ugly Piledriver that sends Les right top of his head.
**

Post match, Vince says Don Muraco is also the master of the piledriver!!!!!!!!

Mean Gene-
-He hypes the Boston card tonight.
-Savage vs Tito. Bret Hart vs Ricky Steamboat. Hogan/JYD vs Funks.
-HOLY SHIT
-Hogan talks about about getting a call from the pound asking for help, and he doesn't get off on being hurt and carrying a limb around. But the Hulkamaniacs need him to be there and he's going to chew on them like a bone. He says he asked his spirit, and his spirit said to kill them, and he barks a lot.

Match#3 The Hart Foundation w/Jimmy Hart vs SD Jones & Andre Malo
Black and yellow this week in a nice choice. Another fun one for our heroes as they bust heads and whatnot. Bret is again SO good with everything he does looking fantastic. Hart Attack takes off Malo's head.
**

MEAN GENE ANNOUNCES THAT WRESTLEMANIA 2 WILL BE IN 3 DIFFERENT CITIES
-IN LA IT WILL BE HULK HOGAN VS KING KONG BUNDY IN A STEEL CAGE FOR THE WWF WORLD TITLE
-IN NEW JERSEY IT WILL BE MR T VS RODDY PIPER IN A BOXING MATCH
-IN CHICAGO IT WILL BE A BATTLE ROYAL WITH ANDRE THE GIANT AND NFL PLAYERS SUCH AS REFRIGERATOR PERRY
-APRIL 7TH AIRING ON CLOSE CIRCUT TV

One of the coolest and most important WWF announcements ever as Vince puts his national plans of complete dominance on display and the war kicks off like never before.

Match#4 The Haiti Kid vs Butch Cassidy
Good showcase for the Kid for a couple of minutes. Kid wins with a fancy pin
*

Piper and Ace rush the ring and pick him up and drag him off to the set of Piper's Pit. Piper says he understands they have a problem here and he hears that Kid is friends with Mr T. Haiti says he is and he said he hopes T beats him up. Piper grabs some tape and slaps the Kid and asks if he admires and likes T. Kid says he does, AND ACE PICKS HIM UP AND PIPER SAYS HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A LITTLE MR T AND HE CUTS HIS HAIR LIKE T. HE TAPES HIS MOUTH SHUT AND KEEPS CUTTING AS HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT HIM TO BE UNHAPPY PERSON. He rips the tape off and asks who is going to win, and Kid says T, so Piper tapes his hands up and slaps the fucking hell out of him. One of the dirtiest and scummiest things ever done by a heel. All time stuff.




We go back to Gene who is back in the studio/control centre for another WrestleMania update-
-He shows footage of T/Orton and the beat down.
-He then shows footage of Bundy's attack
-Mr T tells the fans to buy a ticket as he's been training for 3 days every week and he's ready. Piper whooped him and he's mad. Hogan walks on and T says he''s training with him again, and they're going to take care of that fat loser Bundy.
-Hogan says T is rich and famous, but he pays his dues and helps the kids and they believe in him and they can't hold him down. They don't understand that T doesn't live his life alone, he does it for the kids. T shouts he's going to box Piper's brains in. They pity the fools.
-Love to see them finally using this setup as it's amazing and really adds to the entire thing.

Match#5 The Dream Team w/ Johnny Valiant vs. Lanny Poffo & Nelson Veilleux
Fine stuff from the champs as always. Figure Four does it
*

Mean Gene-
-Jimmy Hart says they wanted the war and now it's on them.
-Terry walks on and says JYD and Hogan asked for this, and he prays they know what they're getting into. He again talks about Hoss shooting a dog that bit him when he was a kid, and says he handles things. He stepped on a rattlesnakes head and finalised that, and they're going to finalise them not with a pin or submission, but by fighting and sending Hogan to the hospital and hog tying JYD.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF BOSTON-8/3

Jake Roberts vs Jose Luis Rivera
Ahhhhhh he's finally here. One of my all time favourite wrestlers who does everything i love about this shit. The fans love him a lot despite not debuting on TV yet, so this is even cooler and bigger for him. Lord Hayes wonders how a man who love snakes can wear boots made of snake skin, and Gorilla says they're fake and he's tight fisted. Hayes laughs and says Jake's dad is the same. Jake gets 10 minutes to display his killer offence and the famous psychology that he'll bring to the game and people will use for decades to come. JLR brings nothing to this as he's a warm body for Jake, but Roberts makes it work by beating his head in and not letting him do anything. Jake debuts the DDT to win
**

Ricky Steamboat vs Bret Hart w/Jimmy Hart
Bret jumps him during the intros and unloads offence on him, and it's smooth and crisp as hell as always, but Ricky's selling makes it the best stuff we've gotten yet. Ricky catches him with a lariat to cut him off and he fires back with his amazing offence, and teaches the kid how little he knows. He works the arm and does wonderful work on it by punching and stretching it, and Bret's selling is fantastic. Ricky cuts him off with counters that force Bret's bad arm into gross positions and stop him from doing anything, and Ricky really ups his speed each time he does it. Bret finally catches him with a swinging neckbreaker and makes his comeback. He makes Ricky miss shots and sends him to the hardwood floor to mess him up. Bret's control is really, really good as he targets the back with brutal stuff and never lets up on it, leading to some more amazing Steamer selling. Bret misses an elbow to hurt his arm, and Ricky finally comes back and it turn into a killer back and forth. Ricky hits a running crossbody and gets the 3
***

Randy Savage (c) w/Miss Elizabeth vs Tito Santana (WWF Intercontinental Championship)
Randy runs away for the first 3 minutes and it's an amazing cat and mouse game before Tito finally catches him and whips ass in revenge for all the bullshit he's been through. It's a cathartic beating as Randy dies on everything and the crowd explodes with each hit he takes. He tries to go for the leg, but Savage punches him in the guts and drags him to the floor and then attacks his head to take over. Short maniac attack from Randy, and some great Tito selling as he's woozy and badly hurt and can't find his bearing as Randy's knocks the shit out of him. Tito's attempted comeback all rock as he gets more and more fired up and finally drops him with the Forearm, but Randy slithers out of the ring and keeps running from Tito. Santana drags him back in and finally punches him in the back of the head over and over, and the ref tries to stop him, SO TITO SHOVES HIM FOR THE DQ.
***

Post match, the ref screams at Tito at what he's done, and Tito screams back as he's rightly pissed as hell.

Hulk Hogan & Junkyard Dog vs The Funks w/Jimmy Hart
We get some classic bullshit to start with Terry bumping his ass off as the super team run through them with offence and funny moments. Just the type of stuff that makes me smile and laugh. Hoss isn't one for humour or nonsense, sadly, but Terry makes up for it by being Terry fucking Funk. Terry brawls with Hogan on the floor and hits him with a chair and the branding iron, and the brothers go to work on JYD now that he's alone. Good quick control seg before Hogan gets the tag and beats the snot out of them. Everything breaks down and Hogan kills Funker with the Axe Bombah to win
**3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Maple Leaf Wrestling
March 8th, 1986
Hamilton, Ontario

JIP

Interviews-
-Jesse and Randy are up first
-Jesse offers to teach the interviewer how to do this correctly, of course it'll cost him. He says Tito got caught by a ref who can finally understand he was quitting in Spanish, and now he's got no title.
-Randy says Monsoon and Tito are making up lies about him as he's the winner now and always. He says he'll allow Liz to hold the title, NO I CHANGED MY MIND. He makes her say JYD and Tito have no chance of beating them, and then kicks her off the set.

Match#1 The Killer Bees vs Brian Mackney & AJ Pertruzzi
Pretty good stuff from our undercard heroes for a couple of minutes. B gets to do lots of cool work as always, and Brunzelle is fine in his role. Assisted Dropkick does it
*3/4

Interviews-
-Bobby Heenan walks on and makes fun of Hillbilly Jim eating gross food and shaking in his boots at the thought of fighting Bundy.
-Bundy walks on and begs him not to get in the ring with him otherwise he's getting hurt. He'll have to tell his grandma he failed.

Match#2 Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs Ivan McDonald
Adrian takes the kid to the mat this week and shows off all his stuff that he hasn't done in months once he switched to roughhouse type stuff. It rocks as it always did/does. DDT ends the fun.
*3/4

Body Shop time. He promotes the boxing match and brings on JYD who is now an expert in the sport of kings, i guess. Jesse makes fun of his face and says he's a fighter or a punching bag. JYD says T is going to lay Piper out and show the world he's no fool.

They replay the control centre in full.

Match#3 The Funks w/Jimmy Hart vs George Wells & Dave Barbie
Terry carries the load as always and batters the jobbers in amazing form, and Hoss does Hoss things. Texas crab ends it
*3/4

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Championship Wrestling
March 15th, 1986
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match#1 Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs Ted Gripley
Adrian is a ton of makeup this week and a two pink bows in his hair, and it's an all time thing to behold. Super angry squash this week as he kills the kid on the outside with slams and offence, and i love him changing shit up to keep it interesting. He throws a motherfucker of a looping punch and then hits the DDT to take it home.
**

Post match, he hits him with an elbow and kisses him. We get some shots of signs with some slurs written on them, and even Vince is taken-aback. You booked this, you fuck.

WWF Update-
-Lord Hayes covers the battle royal again and announces a bunch of football players and a ton of mid carders like Sheik, Bruno and Atlas to name a few.
-ANDRE THE GIANT IS MAKING HIS RETURN AND WILL BE IN THE BATTLE ROYAL. HOLY SHIT.

Match#2 The Killer Bees vs Bob Bradley & Mr X
Another good one for the honey lovers, and i don't suspect that changes while they're here. Dropkick does it
*3/4

Mean Gene-
-He runs down the card again.
-He then announces it will be Dream Team vs Bulldogs for the titles with two referees to make sure it finally ends with a winner
-The Dogs walk and say nothing of note as Gene quickly ends it.

Match#3 Uncle Elmer & George Steele w/Lou Albano vs Joe Mirto & Les Thorton
FUCK NO

Mean Gene-
-Hulk Hogan walks on and says this is the first time he's ever defended the title in a cage match. OH MY GOD THE FIRST HULK HOGAN LIE JUST TOOK PLACE AMAZING. He says if you could get it done by cheating and cheap shotting, Bundy would be champion right now, but that will never happen Brother. He's going to beat this man.

Match#4 Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth vs Tony Stetson.
RANDY JUMPS HIM AND KICKS THE HELL OUT OF HIM AND WINS WITH THE ELBOW IN 15 SECONDS.
OHHHHHHH YEAH

Post match, Animal comes out and hands Liz some more flowers, but Randy jumps off the top with the axe handle!! He throws him in the ring and ties him in the ropes and smacks the hell out of him with the flowers. Randy poses on the ropes, but Albano runs down and gets Animal free and the big man attacks Randy and chases him to the back.

Roddy Piper walks onto the pit with two ladies by his side. He says they're big fans of his and they want to meet the Dream Team. The champs come out and introduces themselves and make nice. Brutus says they aren't even a little bit scared of the Dogs and they've got them running. Piper gives the ladies some merch to end it.

WrestleMania 2 Update-
-Jesse is now in the control centre this week.
-He says a press conference just took place where Piper spoke about the boxing match against T
-Piper says T is trying to do all he can because he has a vendetta because he couldn't get him at last years Mania. Joe Frazier is helping T to train, but he will make him feel like he's back in Manilla is he tries to jump him.
-Mr T and Hulk are at a press confrence in LA with Mean Gene. T brings on a rubber chicken with a kilt on it. T says Piper can't stand up to his left and rights, and he hasn't been whooped like that since he was 6 years old. He's not going to do much talking, he's punching anyone and everyone. He asks for more sparring partners as the other two are in hospital right now.
-We now go to King Kong Bundy. He says he has the quickest match in WWF history. He chose the time to become the WWF champion and he will become the man. What Hogan got at SNME will be nothing compared to what he's going to do to Hogan in the cage.
-Hogan says the police officers were crying when they saw him on the stretcher after he had the life taken out of him. He saw the darkness that Muraco talks about. If he has to climb with one good limb to end this, then that's what he will do. Bundy better be a giant to stay with him, brother.
-Jesse tells us not to miss this.

Again, this is amongst the best stuff WWF has done on TV.

Match#5 Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff vs Lanny Poffo & Jim Powers
Same bad squash as always from these old bastards. Clutch does it.
HUMBLE

Mean Gene-
-Gene announces it will be Randy Savage defending the title against Animal Steele at WrestleMania
-Randy walks on mad as hell that he has to fight a freak of nature that tried to embarrass him a few times, but he some surprises at the WrestleMania. He's going to make him talk and say that he's the best.
-Gene then announces it will be Nik vs Corp in a flag match. NOOOOOOO
-Also, Tito & JYD vs the Funks.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/85

WWF Maple Leaf Wrestling
March 15th, 1986
Hamilton, Ontario

Match#1 Corp Krichner & Danny Spivey vs Mike Sharpe & Dave Barbie
US Xpress 2 do their thing for another weirdly not awful squash. Big Danny is again a cool power dude throwing people around and look good doing it, and Corp is kept at the very basics he can't ruin so it works. Samoan Drop does it
*3/4

Match#2 Hart Foundation w/Jimmy Hart vs Nelson Vildeoux & Scott McGee
Yes! Anvil is on tonight as he's throwing really gross strikes at anyone that moves and holds nothing back, and it makes a hell of a squash. Bret is Bret, but it's always nice to see Anvil trucking people for being alive and in his way. Hart Attack gets it.
**

Interviews-
-Jimmy Hart is being forced to team with the Funks against Andre and JYD
-He runs on and says he will do it because he's not a chicken or coward, he's going to put the tights on. He says the Bees will never win the titles as they're nothing but wanaBEES.

Match#3 Ricky Steamboat vs Barry O
Ahhh, one of those sick MLW shows where the best guys all get squashes after another. Ricky wreaks this doofus for a while, and it's a blast. Crossbody ends it
**

Before his match, Savage confronts Monsoon and screams that he didn't steal nothing.

Match#4 Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth vs Bob Marcus
THIS EPISODE. Randy gets 3 minutes to work and is super mad about Gorilla being a fuckhead, so the kid dies as a result. Elbow ends it.
**



GOD YES

Match#5 The British Bulldogs vs ??
JIP after the tape fucks up, but what we do get is great as always as it's power moves and jobbers eating shit. Top rope powerslam ends it
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

Randy Savage [c] w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Tito Santana (WWF Intercontinental Championship), MSG (March 16th)
The best feud has come to MSG!! Randy stalls like always and ramps up and up to drive Tito more insane than normal, and it's an artform that he's God at. Tito finally gives chase and gets him and beats the shit out of him on the outside for another amazing pissed off Tito special. Punches kicks and pinballing Randy all over the place. Savage slips in an eyepoke to get him to stop and then kicks the shit out of him like a dirty bastard. Tito stays on the leg though and wreaks it for a moment, but Randy grabs him by the tights and pulls him to the floor and hits the axe handle to take over. Sick control seg as he's nuts, hurt and pissed off on top of all of it. Tito takes a gross beating until he fires off a wonderful comeback targeting the leg as he bashes him over and over. Tito hits the Forearm and locks in the Figure Four, but Randy drags the ref down for the cheap DQ.
***

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/8

WWF Maple Leaf Wrestling
March 22nd, 1986
Hamilton, Ontario

Match#1 Tito Santana & Junkyard Dog vs Steve Lombardi & Brian McGhee
Standard squash where Tito does all the work and JYD leeches points as a result. Tito wins with the Figure Four
*

WWF Update-
-Lord Hayes lists off all the famous people who will be at WrestleMania 2
-Elvira is going to be live watching the best bodies in the flesh.

Match#2 Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs Steve Marconie
Fuck yeah. Adrian gets 4 minutes to batter and fuck around with his gimmick, and it's a wonderful blast. Jimmy joins commentary and says Adrian will beat Elmer at Mania, and debut a new finish called the Adorable Squeeze tonight. He wins with a sleeper which said new move.
**

Mean Gene-
-Gene hypes up the battle royal.
-Studd promises to destroy all the football players
-Shut up, nerd.

Match#3 The Funk Brothers w/Jimmy Hart vs Apollo the Greek & Jose Luis Rivera
Not the best squash for the brothers as they give the jobbers far too much, and Dory isn't really bothering to give a shit tonight. Crab ends it
3/4*

Mean Gene-
-Gene tells the fans to buy tickets to the closed circuit showing.
-They replay the press conference.

Match#4 King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan vs Ivan Mcdonald
Gorilla says Bundy is dumb for agreeing to a cage match as he's too big to climb over, SO JESSE SAYS HE CAN PUT HOGAN THROUGH THE STEEL MESH AND WALK OVER HIS BODY. FUCK YEAH. Awesome shit from Bundy as always with a ton of cool fat man offence and the jobber eating all the shit as he should. Avalanche and the 5 count end it
**

Post match, Bundy gets the mic and shouts he's the next world champion.

We go to a pre-tape with Gene and William Perry. He says it'll be a long fall for all the wrestlers as he's throwing them all out.

We come back to Heenan hyping up Studd's chances of winning as he's the only real giant.

Match#5 Paul Orndroff vs Nelson Vildeux
Wonderful gets 3 minutes as it's another one of those awesome episodes. Gross offence as always, but the real story is Jesse hyping up Muraco being the master of the piledriver, and saying they'll be fighting at Mania!!! Piledriver does it.
**

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WWF World Champion: Hulk Hogan-23/1/84
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Randy Savage-8/2/86
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team-24/8/8

WWF Championship Wrestling
March 29th, 1986
Poughkeepsie, NY

Sadly, the 23rd is missing which is Jake Robert's TV debut.

We go straight into an Update with Hayes announcing more and more famous people. The highlights are Ozzy Osbourne, Joe Frazier, Ray Charles and G. Gordon Liddy

Match#1 Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth vs Andre Malo
Yes. Randy gets a few minutes to murder this kid and hey, it's awesome. We get our first ever cut in promo during this as Elvira promises to call it like it is with Jesse Ventura at Mania. Elbow Drop ends a sick squash.
**

Mean Gene-
-Hogan and T are standing by. T says Hogan motivates him to stay strong and think about Piper and Piper only. He made him mad and he's never been this mad in his life, and he's getting him. Hogan brings up Rocky 3 and says Clubber is a wimp compared to the real Mr T.

Match#2 Paul Orndroff vs Bob Bradley
Wonderful breaks out some cool arm work this week to change things up, and you know i love a wrestler willing to change things up and not be a lazy shit. G. Gordon Liddy gets a cut in saying he's going to be a judge at WrestleMania because he has some experience at being judged. AMAZING. Wonderful goes postal with lariats and fucks the kid up and wins with the Piledriver.
**

Mean Gene-
-The Hart Foundation are taking out the football players out of the pack.

Match#3 The Funk Brothers w/Jimmy Hart vs SD Jones & Ivan McDonald
WAY better than the last one as Terry works his ass off and fucks these dorks up, and his shitty brother is mostly kept away. Crab ends it
**

Mean Gene-
-King Kong Bundy says Hogan has to step in a cage with HIM, and he's busted him up and hurt him bad. Getting in a cage at less than 100% is a mistake and Hulkamania is dead.

Match#4 The British Bulldogs w/Lou Albano vs Tiger Chung Lee & Mr X
Another killer on for the Doggies of England. Tiger is a hack fuck, but X takes a wild beating and more than makes up for him being bad. DK is really on one as he gets super stiff and mean as fuck. He wins with a nasty super backdrop
**



-Mean Gene
-He speaks of the danger of a battle royal when they hit the floor.
-We get clips of wrestlers and football players saying they aren't afraid of anyone landing on them, what they'll do if they win.
-Good hype for the match, but nothing really worth covering as it's what you'd expect.

Match#5 Hulk Hogan vs Moondog Spot
OH SHIT HULK ON TV FOR THE SUPER RARE SQUASH. His ribs are taped and holding him back, so Spot gets a little in for some good offence. Hogan fights back and reigns hell upon him and wins with the Legdrop
**