NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-22/10/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03
NWA-TNA PPV# 68
November 5th, 2003
TNA Asylum
Tonight; Jeff Jarrett vs The Man Called Sting. The start of the Triple Chance
In the carpark, Jimmy Hart says Jeff's biggest nightmare might be under the tip of his nose.
Match#1 The Gathering vs Kid Kash & Lazz
Tenay speculates that TNA are fucking with Kash by teaming him with a jobber because they hate him, and it's not the worst story to explain this weird team. This is a fun showcase for the kids with some fun Kash heel work thrown in. Kash kicks Julio in the dick to isolate him and he leads the work because Lazz is a jobber who doesn't know how to control. Lazz tags in and fucks it up and Punker gets the hot tag. They get rid of Kash and beat Lazz with a Doomsday Blockbuster called Near Death Xperience.
**
Post match, Kash beats up Lazz for being bad. Abyss comes down and beats up Kash for a while until Kash runs through the crowd and out the back door of the asylum.
In Raven's lair, Raven says this is the twilight of the Gods and the Church has been broken and they're last men left. He says Mitchell's new parish will be in HELL. Not his best work, but this feud is over, so whatever.
In the ring, Tenay brings Jarrett out for his weekly 10 minute segment. Not sure if this is worse than Triple H at this point, but Jeff at least has AJ to work with. So, call it even. Jeff has a magazine from Japan with Hogan's bloody face on it, and a German one that wants to know when Hogan is coming to TNA. He says AAA wants to host the match in front of 50k. Sure, Jan. Tenay again tries to ask about the fucking BATB angle and Jeff snaps at him and kicks him out of the ring. Jesus, take a hint you smug little fuck. Jeff tries to talk but AJ's music hits and he's in the crowd among HIS people. Jeff calls him a redneck just like them and AJ owns it!! AJ tells him to worry about him and no one else, Jeff says he got dragged out last week and he ain't worried. AJ demands his rematch and he wants to know when. Jeff says he's got too many people gunning for him and he's got press after to him, and AJ isn't on that level and he can't hang. AJ loses it and says the people NEED him in the heavyweight division and the X-Division no longer needs him, and he's going to knock off Jeff. COMPETITION IS HIS LIFE, THIS WHAT HE DOES FOR A LIVING. AND IT STARTS NOW AND HE RUSHES THE RING AND FINALLY FIGHTS JEFF AGAIN. Awesome brawl as always and AJ fits right back as the babyface with all the fire in the world. The shitty shirts try to stop him and AJ FUCKING DROPS THEM BOTH. HE WALKS BACK INTO A GROSS CHAIR SHOT AND THE RED SHIRTS BEAT HIM UP IN THE CROWD. Jeff gets on the mic and says Sting is going to be his next victim. He'll see the batman in an hour, choke on that.
Back in the crowd, the shirts are still beating AJ up. They open the door to throw him out, BUT ABYSS COMES THROUGH IT AND PUNCHES THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. DW says Abyss was on the hunt for Kash and he must be hitting anything that moves. God Bless. He beats them back to the ring and holds his own until the numbers get him. They drag him back in the ring and try to beat him, but he fights them off. He kills Wilson with the BHS and closelines the fuck out of Northcutt. Callis is in the ring watching and Abyss snatches him by the throat, but the red shirts save again. He gets one up for the Shock Treatment and Callis demands he put him down or else, AND ABYSS DROPS HIM WITH THE SHOCK TREATMENT AND CHASES AFTER CALLIS, Holy fuck, what an awesome angle.
In the back, Mitchell says he's a teacher not a fighter, and Raven always preys on the weak and that's why Mitchell was kicked out the groups years ago. He says he has a brain of his own and that's why Raven hates him, and he's going to outsmart him tonight and don't underestimate his mind.
Match#2 Shane Douglas vs The Sandman
Sandman is finally back and fighting Shane like it's 96, but without Shane actually being good. He does his best to make it fun by taking the Belly To Belly into the fucking guardrail. Sadly, Shane's control is terrible as he sits in a bad chinlock for a while, and Tenay tries to say by saying he's working on the bad neck, but Shane does nothing to actually get the across. Sandman's comeback is a sloppy drunk mess and not in a good way as he misses a ton, and Shane is caught waiting on a lot of stuff. Traci Brooks shows up and jumps onto Sandman and Tenay shouts "PIE IN THE SKY" for some reason. Sandman gets rid of her but walks back into a B2B, which he kicks out of so Shane hits another to win. Jesus, what a mess.
3/4*
Shane gets on the mic and tells us to take a look at the new member of the New Franchise. Traci says there is nothing she wouldn't do for him. Gross.
In the back, Jimmy cuts another terrible promo before Sting walks on and screams about showtime.
Match#3 America's Most Wanted vs Ekmo Fatu & Sonny Siaki w/Trinity
Tenay says he's shocked they didn't come to AJ's aid before, like they aren't heels and AJ isn't back as the top face. Fucking goof. AMW finally get someone good again in Ekmo, and TNA gives us maybe half of what we need, and instead lets Sonny do the bulk of the work. Anything Fatu does it awesome though and makes it worth the pain of Sonny. Storm gets isolated and it's fine, but nowhere near good as it could be thanks to Sonny being a dull man. Harris and Fatu get tagged in and that shit is wonderful as Harris does his best to drop the big man and Fatu wreaks his day. It all breaks down and Ekmo accidentally takes out Siaki with a spear, but Trinity throws in a chair to Harris and he uses it and brains Ekmo. Wait what. He kicks out, so DY runs down and hits Harris with a racket and Sonny hits the neckbreaker to win.
**3/4
In the back, Team Disco thanks DY for his help and lets him in the group. DY says he got him a present, a match with 3LK tonight. Disco is scared but the others bait him into it.
Hype for the Triple Chance.
Match#4 X-Division Battle Royal (5 Seeds advance to round two)
Low Ki, Sabin, Dutt, Shark Boy, Johnny Storm, Chad Collyer, Daniels, PCO under a mask being called X. PCO murders people because he's fucking PCO and that's his thing. Everyone in this aside from maybe Storm is good to great, so this rocks. DW calls X the "X Factor" because he's the best. Lots of crazy spots and close calls, and Tenay drops the famous "It's not about weight limits, it's about NO limits". X kills Storm with a nasty powerbomb and gets rid of him and Sharky. Daniels/Ki work together and it's the best again. X throws Sonjay out to the floor. Final 5 is X, Daniels, Ki, Collyer and Sabin. XXX beat up Collyer and get rid of him and he's #5. Shane is watching from the balcony again. PCO hits a chokebomb on Daniels and and kills Ki with a Bucklebomb and a butterfly suplex. FUCK YEAH X. The other 3 finally try to take him out and do well until it all breaks down again. Awesome stuff from the other 3 and it's so nice to get to see Ki and Sabin. Ki/Daniels fight for the first time in a year. Sabin shoves them both out when Ki is choking Daniels. X/Sabin fucking rules for the 30 seconds it gets. PCO HITS A FUCKING PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ONTO A CHAIR AND AND THROWS SABIN OUT.
***
In the back, Callis keeps avoiding talking about Abyss and praises X for being amazing. He talks about Piper being insane and stuff. Red Shirts walk on and say they know where "he" is, and they run off to find this person.
A really terrible Piper video airs where he teases fighting Hogan again. truly can't stand him post 96.
Match#5 3 Live Kru vs Disco Inferno & David Young
Oh god. Horrible stuff again. Can't understand why anyone allowed Konnan, BG and Disco in a ring, but life is full of mysteries. Lots bad wrestling for a while and it's not the fun kind we laugh at, sadly. BG hits DY with a tennis racket and Truth hits the Axe Kick to beat him
1/2*
Post match, Team Disco and 3LK have a bad fight before AMW join in and help the faces clean house. Harris gets on the mic and again demands a fucking rematch. Spoiler, our heroes never beat Team Disco and don't get the belts back until June 04, so none of this matter. BG is angry at them and for stepping in front of the line, and then Sonny and Ekmo come out, and DW calls the division a mess. Sonny says they're next because they beat AMW for Disco. Disco runs off and we get no resolution for this nonsense.
Hype for Raven/Mitchell.
Match#6 Raven vs Father James Mitchell (Last Man Standing)
The feel good murder of Mitchell, and the end of a feud that ran its course long ago. Mitchell gets a GUSHER and it's nasty and scary, and perfect. The Gathering show up and try and help, and for the 100th time Raven tells them to fuck off. I swear everyone in TNA is just really dumb. EVENFLOW does it after Raven murders this poor bastard.
**1/2
Post match, Raven throws him over the top rope and murders him for all the shit he put him through. He promised him he would end this and now HE HAS DESTINY TO FULFILL AND HE'S COMING FOR JEFF JARRETT. He tells the Gathering he want to do it alone and he's setting them free because he walks alone. Punk begs him not to and Raven walks off. Punk is full on single white female and it's sad as shit.
Low Ki runs down to the ring and grabs the mic. Next week he's fighting Daniels and XXX is dead, and all he can do is be ready.
Match#7 Sting vs Jeff Jarrett
Sting beating the piss out of one of the most annoying motherfuckers at the start of one of the most annoying reigns of terror is an all time cathartic moment. Classic Sting offence with Jeff being the perfect man to take it because he knows better than most how to do this the way it's meant to be. He control a tiny bit, but just lets Sting run over the top of him and bust him open, you can't not love it. Sting has it won after the Deathdrop but Callis pulls the ref out and Jeff uses the title and Jimmy tells the ref and he doesn't count. The Red Shirts come out and attack him and Jeff uses the chair and it's finally over.
**3/4
Red Shirts beat up Sting and Jeff joins in AND RAVEN SHOWS UP AND GOES FACE TO FACE WITH JEFF AND SMILES AT HIM, AND THEY FIGHT AGAIN. FUCK YES. Red Shirts attack him and he's forced to fight them off, and another thing gets in the way of destiny. Jeff hits him with a chair, AND AJ SHOWS UP AND HITS A PHENOMENAL FOREARM ON THE SHIRTS AND BEATS JEFF'S HEAD IN. The Shirts get him as well and hits a neckbreaker/powerbomb combo and AJ dies off it. Abyss now runs out and the heels run for the hills and AJ raises his hand, AND ABYSS TURNS HIM INTO THE FUCKING BLACK HOLE SLAM , AND CALLIS CELEBRATES. ABYSS WAS HIM. JEFF TRIES THE GUITAR BUT STING SMASHES IT WITH THE BAT AND BEATS THE HOLY HELL OUT OF ALL THE HEELS. HE IS STING. Callis gets on the mic and says Raven will never be the champion and the Red Shirts will take him out. Fuck no. Sting gets on the mic and says he likes TNA and he's coming back next week, and he wants AJ Styles to be his partner. Hell yeah, Sting teaming with his one true successor. Jeff agrees to it and says he's teaming with LEX LUGER. Sting is shocked because famously trustworthy Flexy Lexy has turned on him for the 30th time.
Incredible closing angle, and a damn fun show
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03
NWA-TNA PPV# 68
November 5th, 2003
TNA Asylum
Tonight; Jeff Jarrett vs The Man Called Sting. The start of the Triple Chance
In the carpark, Jimmy Hart says Jeff's biggest nightmare might be under the tip of his nose.
Match#1 The Gathering vs Kid Kash & Lazz
Tenay speculates that TNA are fucking with Kash by teaming him with a jobber because they hate him, and it's not the worst story to explain this weird team. This is a fun showcase for the kids with some fun Kash heel work thrown in. Kash kicks Julio in the dick to isolate him and he leads the work because Lazz is a jobber who doesn't know how to control. Lazz tags in and fucks it up and Punker gets the hot tag. They get rid of Kash and beat Lazz with a Doomsday Blockbuster called Near Death Xperience.
**
Post match, Kash beats up Lazz for being bad. Abyss comes down and beats up Kash for a while until Kash runs through the crowd and out the back door of the asylum.
In Raven's lair, Raven says this is the twilight of the Gods and the Church has been broken and they're last men left. He says Mitchell's new parish will be in HELL. Not his best work, but this feud is over, so whatever.
In the ring, Tenay brings Jarrett out for his weekly 10 minute segment. Not sure if this is worse than Triple H at this point, but Jeff at least has AJ to work with. So, call it even. Jeff has a magazine from Japan with Hogan's bloody face on it, and a German one that wants to know when Hogan is coming to TNA. He says AAA wants to host the match in front of 50k. Sure, Jan. Tenay again tries to ask about the fucking BATB angle and Jeff snaps at him and kicks him out of the ring. Jesus, take a hint you smug little fuck. Jeff tries to talk but AJ's music hits and he's in the crowd among HIS people. Jeff calls him a redneck just like them and AJ owns it!! AJ tells him to worry about him and no one else, Jeff says he got dragged out last week and he ain't worried. AJ demands his rematch and he wants to know when. Jeff says he's got too many people gunning for him and he's got press after to him, and AJ isn't on that level and he can't hang. AJ loses it and says the people NEED him in the heavyweight division and the X-Division no longer needs him, and he's going to knock off Jeff. COMPETITION IS HIS LIFE, THIS WHAT HE DOES FOR A LIVING. AND IT STARTS NOW AND HE RUSHES THE RING AND FINALLY FIGHTS JEFF AGAIN. Awesome brawl as always and AJ fits right back as the babyface with all the fire in the world. The shitty shirts try to stop him and AJ FUCKING DROPS THEM BOTH. HE WALKS BACK INTO A GROSS CHAIR SHOT AND THE RED SHIRTS BEAT HIM UP IN THE CROWD. Jeff gets on the mic and says Sting is going to be his next victim. He'll see the batman in an hour, choke on that.
Back in the crowd, the shirts are still beating AJ up. They open the door to throw him out, BUT ABYSS COMES THROUGH IT AND PUNCHES THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. DW says Abyss was on the hunt for Kash and he must be hitting anything that moves. God Bless. He beats them back to the ring and holds his own until the numbers get him. They drag him back in the ring and try to beat him, but he fights them off. He kills Wilson with the BHS and closelines the fuck out of Northcutt. Callis is in the ring watching and Abyss snatches him by the throat, but the red shirts save again. He gets one up for the Shock Treatment and Callis demands he put him down or else, AND ABYSS DROPS HIM WITH THE SHOCK TREATMENT AND CHASES AFTER CALLIS, Holy fuck, what an awesome angle.
In the back, Mitchell says he's a teacher not a fighter, and Raven always preys on the weak and that's why Mitchell was kicked out the groups years ago. He says he has a brain of his own and that's why Raven hates him, and he's going to outsmart him tonight and don't underestimate his mind.
Match#2 Shane Douglas vs The Sandman
Sandman is finally back and fighting Shane like it's 96, but without Shane actually being good. He does his best to make it fun by taking the Belly To Belly into the fucking guardrail. Sadly, Shane's control is terrible as he sits in a bad chinlock for a while, and Tenay tries to say by saying he's working on the bad neck, but Shane does nothing to actually get the across. Sandman's comeback is a sloppy drunk mess and not in a good way as he misses a ton, and Shane is caught waiting on a lot of stuff. Traci Brooks shows up and jumps onto Sandman and Tenay shouts "PIE IN THE SKY" for some reason. Sandman gets rid of her but walks back into a B2B, which he kicks out of so Shane hits another to win. Jesus, what a mess.
3/4*
Shane gets on the mic and tells us to take a look at the new member of the New Franchise. Traci says there is nothing she wouldn't do for him. Gross.
In the back, Jimmy cuts another terrible promo before Sting walks on and screams about showtime.
Match#3 America's Most Wanted vs Ekmo Fatu & Sonny Siaki w/Trinity
Tenay says he's shocked they didn't come to AJ's aid before, like they aren't heels and AJ isn't back as the top face. Fucking goof. AMW finally get someone good again in Ekmo, and TNA gives us maybe half of what we need, and instead lets Sonny do the bulk of the work. Anything Fatu does it awesome though and makes it worth the pain of Sonny. Storm gets isolated and it's fine, but nowhere near good as it could be thanks to Sonny being a dull man. Harris and Fatu get tagged in and that shit is wonderful as Harris does his best to drop the big man and Fatu wreaks his day. It all breaks down and Ekmo accidentally takes out Siaki with a spear, but Trinity throws in a chair to Harris and he uses it and brains Ekmo. Wait what. He kicks out, so DY runs down and hits Harris with a racket and Sonny hits the neckbreaker to win.
**3/4
In the back, Team Disco thanks DY for his help and lets him in the group. DY says he got him a present, a match with 3LK tonight. Disco is scared but the others bait him into it.
Hype for the Triple Chance.
Match#4 X-Division Battle Royal (5 Seeds advance to round two)
Low Ki, Sabin, Dutt, Shark Boy, Johnny Storm, Chad Collyer, Daniels, PCO under a mask being called X. PCO murders people because he's fucking PCO and that's his thing. Everyone in this aside from maybe Storm is good to great, so this rocks. DW calls X the "X Factor" because he's the best. Lots of crazy spots and close calls, and Tenay drops the famous "It's not about weight limits, it's about NO limits". X kills Storm with a nasty powerbomb and gets rid of him and Sharky. Daniels/Ki work together and it's the best again. X throws Sonjay out to the floor. Final 5 is X, Daniels, Ki, Collyer and Sabin. XXX beat up Collyer and get rid of him and he's #5. Shane is watching from the balcony again. PCO hits a chokebomb on Daniels and and kills Ki with a Bucklebomb and a butterfly suplex. FUCK YEAH X. The other 3 finally try to take him out and do well until it all breaks down again. Awesome stuff from the other 3 and it's so nice to get to see Ki and Sabin. Ki/Daniels fight for the first time in a year. Sabin shoves them both out when Ki is choking Daniels. X/Sabin fucking rules for the 30 seconds it gets. PCO HITS A FUCKING PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ONTO A CHAIR AND AND THROWS SABIN OUT.
***
In the back, Callis keeps avoiding talking about Abyss and praises X for being amazing. He talks about Piper being insane and stuff. Red Shirts walk on and say they know where "he" is, and they run off to find this person.
A really terrible Piper video airs where he teases fighting Hogan again. truly can't stand him post 96.
Match#5 3 Live Kru vs Disco Inferno & David Young
Oh god. Horrible stuff again. Can't understand why anyone allowed Konnan, BG and Disco in a ring, but life is full of mysteries. Lots bad wrestling for a while and it's not the fun kind we laugh at, sadly. BG hits DY with a tennis racket and Truth hits the Axe Kick to beat him
1/2*
Post match, Team Disco and 3LK have a bad fight before AMW join in and help the faces clean house. Harris gets on the mic and again demands a fucking rematch. Spoiler, our heroes never beat Team Disco and don't get the belts back until June 04, so none of this matter. BG is angry at them and for stepping in front of the line, and then Sonny and Ekmo come out, and DW calls the division a mess. Sonny says they're next because they beat AMW for Disco. Disco runs off and we get no resolution for this nonsense.
Hype for Raven/Mitchell.
Match#6 Raven vs Father James Mitchell (Last Man Standing)
The feel good murder of Mitchell, and the end of a feud that ran its course long ago. Mitchell gets a GUSHER and it's nasty and scary, and perfect. The Gathering show up and try and help, and for the 100th time Raven tells them to fuck off. I swear everyone in TNA is just really dumb. EVENFLOW does it after Raven murders this poor bastard.
**1/2
Post match, Raven throws him over the top rope and murders him for all the shit he put him through. He promised him he would end this and now HE HAS DESTINY TO FULFILL AND HE'S COMING FOR JEFF JARRETT. He tells the Gathering he want to do it alone and he's setting them free because he walks alone. Punk begs him not to and Raven walks off. Punk is full on single white female and it's sad as shit.
Low Ki runs down to the ring and grabs the mic. Next week he's fighting Daniels and XXX is dead, and all he can do is be ready.
Match#7 Sting vs Jeff Jarrett
Sting beating the piss out of one of the most annoying motherfuckers at the start of one of the most annoying reigns of terror is an all time cathartic moment. Classic Sting offence with Jeff being the perfect man to take it because he knows better than most how to do this the way it's meant to be. He control a tiny bit, but just lets Sting run over the top of him and bust him open, you can't not love it. Sting has it won after the Deathdrop but Callis pulls the ref out and Jeff uses the title and Jimmy tells the ref and he doesn't count. The Red Shirts come out and attack him and Jeff uses the chair and it's finally over.
**3/4
Red Shirts beat up Sting and Jeff joins in AND RAVEN SHOWS UP AND GOES FACE TO FACE WITH JEFF AND SMILES AT HIM, AND THEY FIGHT AGAIN. FUCK YES. Red Shirts attack him and he's forced to fight them off, and another thing gets in the way of destiny. Jeff hits him with a chair, AND AJ SHOWS UP AND HITS A PHENOMENAL FOREARM ON THE SHIRTS AND BEATS JEFF'S HEAD IN. The Shirts get him as well and hits a neckbreaker/powerbomb combo and AJ dies off it. Abyss now runs out and the heels run for the hills and AJ raises his hand, AND ABYSS TURNS HIM INTO THE FUCKING BLACK HOLE SLAM , AND CALLIS CELEBRATES. ABYSS WAS HIM. JEFF TRIES THE GUITAR BUT STING SMASHES IT WITH THE BAT AND BEATS THE HOLY HELL OUT OF ALL THE HEELS. HE IS STING. Callis gets on the mic and says Raven will never be the champion and the Red Shirts will take him out. Fuck no. Sting gets on the mic and says he likes TNA and he's coming back next week, and he wants AJ Styles to be his partner. Hell yeah, Sting teaming with his one true successor. Jeff agrees to it and says he's teaming with LEX LUGER. Sting is shocked because famously trustworthy Flexy Lexy has turned on him for the 30th time.
Incredible closing angle, and a damn fun show
