Donnie watches NWA-TNA 2003

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: CHRIS SABIN. Since-14/5/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#53
July 16th, 2003
TNA Asylum

After the recap, Jarrett and Legend brawl down to ringside and it's horrible for the 3rd week in a row. Fucking baffling to think Jeff booked himself in this. Least book yourself to beat Truth or Red, or something.

Tonight; Battle of the futures for the X-Division title. Credible vs Lynn in a Last Man Standing Match

BREAKING NEWS; NEXT WEEK IT WILL BE AJ STYLES VS D-LO BROWN IN A BEST OF 3 SERIES FOR THE WORLD TITLE.
#1 Match will be pinfalls only
#2 Match is a submission Match
#3 Match will be a ladder match

Fucking Love them bringing this concept back after the tremendous AJ/Lynn series from last year.

D-Lo comes out and grabs the mic and says he won't need 3 falls to win the title because next week will be one on one. He says tonight he takes out Siaki for costing him the title last week, and after he win he gets 5 minutes with Russo at the end of the show.

Match#1 D-Lo Brown vs Sonny Siaki w/Trinity (D-Lo gets 5 minutes with Russo)
D-Lo's biggest carry job yet as Siaki is a dull fucking man as we know, but D-lo doesn't miss and throws everything out and has a really fun match. Huge dives and awesome strikes, and he makes Sonny's control seg look good for once. Trinity tries to crossbody him but he moves and she hits Sonny, and D-Lo gets a rollup to win
**3/4

Hype Video for Credible/Lynn

"The key is to keep your opponent down for ten seconds. That means you literally have to beat the living tar out of them" -Don West

Match#2 Jerry Lynn vs Justin Credible (Last Man Standing Match)
True to DW' s wise words, the boys kick the living shit out of each other and it's really fun. Also, it's under Texas Deathmatch Rules, but TNA never bothered to call it as such. Lynn gets busted open bad, and Credible is awesome as a creepy nu metal guy trying to murder a classic metal guy. He digs his nails into the cut and blasts the hell out of him, and it's one of the best Credible moments ever. (it's a short list, but credit where it's due). Lynn makes a desperate comeback and sends Credible into the post, and he gets a fucking GUSHER. Ir turns into a ugly fight that feels super fitting for the feud, and both dudes throw everything into their offence and its fucking great. Lynn breaks out an awesome rana and sends Credible through a table!!! Credible fights through it and kills Lynn in revenge AND HE HITS A FUCKING TOP ROPE THAT'S INCREDIBLE AND LYNN SOMEHOW GETS BACK UP AT 9. HOLY SHIT. They trade tombstone reversals because Lynn is addicted man. Lynn hits a gross one, and then the Cradle Piledriver and both guys are down!! Credible nearly gets up first but Lynn drags him down by his jorts and gets up to win
***

Another terrible 3LK comedy thing

Jarrett and Legend brawl down to the ring again, and i can't even tell if it's a replay or another one. Fuck this

Match#3 Chris Sabin (C) vs Frankie Kazarian (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Battle of the FUTURES)
Only one of these men is actually the future and is still proving it today, so there is no need for this match, tbh. This falls into the category of "fun match, but nothing really more" Lot of trading of stuff with the occasional cool dive for a while, and that's it really. Nothing to write home about at all. Finishing run is ok and the ref gets bumped and they fight over the belt and Kaz hits Wave of the Future on it and he wins the title!
**

Another ref comes out and they talk and the first ref reverses it and Sabin retains.

In the back, New Jack cuts a promo about eating Nazis like a shark, and Sharky offers Jack a Shark Boy mask AND JACK ACCEPTS IT.

Match#4 SharkJack vs The Harris Brothers
Our heroes try their best against them and it's ok from their end, but yeah the Nazis are shit. Insane and heartbreaking to think of long they lasted because they were tall and strong. Truly two of the worst wrestlers ever. This of course means they beat New Jack with the H Bomb
30th of April, 1945

Post match, they unmask Sharky, BUT JACK USES THE NEW MASK TO PROTECT HIM AND FIGHTS THEM, AND SHARKY COMES BACK WITH THE HULK HANDS AND PUNCHES THE FUCK OUT OF NEO NAZIS. PRO WRESTLING

This week, Tenay interview Kid Kash and the big scary dude. Abyss is wandering around ripping things off the stage, and Kash tells him to stop because TNA don't pay him enough. Kash says he's been doing this for 13 years and paid his dues time and time again, and these kids get where they because of who they blew. He lists off everyone he's beaten and he's the best today. He shits on Tenay for being a smug twat and tells him to get in the ring and land on his head and see how long he lasts. FUCK YEAH, KID KASH. He calls Goldy and Trinity rats and says Trinity being the star of the show shows the truth. He gets Abyss to grab him by the neck, and Kash stands over him and says this could happen to him and he will respect him. Awesome stuff for anyone who rightly hates Smug Tenay.

A Watts hype video airs. hahahahahahahahhahaha die in a fire.

Coming from that, Hudson interviews him and Goldy, He says Eric from WCW will be here next week. Son of a bitch.

The strippers and Veronica and some new girl get into another terrible cat fight.

Another wonderful Fallen Angel hype video airs.

Elix Skipper comes out to the ring with a scale to show he's "Pound for Pound" the best in the world. He cuts said promo about it and challenges anyone, and Amazing Red makes his return!!!!

Match#5 Amazing Red vs Elix Skipper
Red's knee is fucked and that's why he was gone since the Raven angle, so he shouldn't be wrestling on it. But hey, TNA doesn't give a fuck as i will sadly cover a few times. This is also mostly a Skipper showcase and that's awesome, but still sad to see Red in pain and unable to do all his cool shit. Skipper breaks the scales over his skull to steal it
**1/2

Cyrus and his new charge Edward Chastain come out with the stolen Hard Ten cup from last week. Cyrus does the intros and says has a MBA and he's the only man who can change TNA for the better and they downsized Sandman out of the company. He says the fans don't want hardcore wrestling anymore, and they get interupted by Norman Smiley and JB does the intros and i guess we have a match?

Match#6 Edward Chastain w/Cyrus vs Norman Smiley
Chastain is a bad fat wrestler who can hardly move and does really shitty basics, so this squash dies a death. He's blown up real quick and the crowd is dead, so this isn't long for the world. He wins with a terrible splash
LOLTNA

They bring back that goddamn horrible TNA interrogation with AMW, so i have no choice but to cover it.
June the 25th: The greatest night of our careers
Daniels: One of the best wrestlers they've been in the ring with
Skipper; Extraordinary athlete, but the cage wasn't his house.
Eastwood or Wayne. MAKE MY DAY. FUCK YEAH.
Death Sentence off the cage; Insane
Bulls or Broncos; Either one
Disco Inferno; Jackass
Bret Hart; Best
RNRX or MX; RNRX
TNA. Home
NWA Tag titles; Tradition

Fuck, i hate these segments.

In the ring, Disco and his team call JB in the ring and the tape starts to fuck up, and when we come back, AMW are beating up the heels! They clean house for a while but Disco slips the heels a chair and AMW get obliterated with gross shots. Disco says they aren't leaving until the NWA Director of Authority gives them a title shot. Tenay screams we won't find out who that is until next week, and i want to smash my computer because these assholes NEVER bought this up until right now. BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, RAVEN'S EPIC THEME HITS AND HE WALKS OUT AND BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF THESE DORKS. Tenay and DW didn't even react to his music. God fucking damn it. AMW get involved and fight the heels off and Raven stays in the ring and grabs the mic.

He says he's not here to bitch or complain, he's here to demand that Douglas and Mitchell take a guided tour of the house of fun. Father James and Shane come out and Raven rushes them and fight Douglas. Raven sets up the EVENFLOW but SLASH and Lee make their return and beat the piss out of Raven and Mitchell says this is the first lesson in pain. They drop-toe-hold him on the chair twice and Raven is a bloody mess. Mitchell demands they do it again and Father Mitchell asks if he's had enough and Raven tells him to go to hell, AND THEY HIT THE DROP-TOE-HOLD A FUCKING FORTH TIME AND JAMES SAYS HE WON'T GO TO HELL, BECAUSE HE BOUGHT HELL TO HIM. Jesus Christ, this feud rules.

In the back, Legend cuts a terrible promo.

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett vs Legend
Yes, he's actually going by "Legend". I hate TNA, folks. Jeff jumps him and they have another horrible brawl forever, and Jeff can't get shit out of him, and truth be told, Jeff is dying a death as a face and it's not shocking that he'll be a heel again in 3 months. Jeff beats his head in with a chair which isn't a DQ?? Russo comes out and throws Legend a bat and he uses it on Jeff's shitty ribs to steal the win
1/2*

This might be the worst feud TNA has run. Just, fucking die.

In the back, Russo has a hockey helmet on and cuts another terrible promo.

D-Lo is in the ring with the cage and Russo refuses to get in until a ref forces him. He hides behind the cage, AND OUR WORLD CHAMPION FINALLY SHOWS UP. GREAT WORK, YOU HORSES ASS. AJ and D-Lo have another wonderful fight and AJ gets locked in the cage with Russo. FUCK. Siaki shows up and attacks D-Lo from behind and tries to cuff him, but D-lo gets them and cuffs him instead. He also fights off Trinity, but our new top heel Legend is the one to turn the tide. hahahahahahahahahahhahahaha die. AJ breaks out of the shitty cage, which looks like it was made from cardboard, and he beats the shit out of D-Lo. He kills him with the Clash and puts on the Cattle Mutilation to weaken him for next week.

Horrible episode.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: CHRIS SABIN. Since-14/5/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#54
July 23rd, 2003
TNA Asylum

JB does the big intro for the 1st match in the best of 3! Also, AJ is wearing the epic white gear and he looks like a goddamn star more than ever. Easily the best thing TNA has done or will do for like year plus is finally treat AJ as the man he is. Also, Russo is barred from ringside, so he's watching from underneath the stage like the creepy gremlin he is.

Match#1 AJ Styles (c) w/Trinity vs D-Lo Brown (NWA World Heavyweight Championship - Best of Three Series - Match #1 Pinfalls Only)
Awesome feeling out to start and they go with the story of D-Lo having the power because he's a big man, and AJ needs to use the speed and skill only he has in order to get it done. AJ hits a gross Alabama Slam(a) to take over and we get another wonderful control seg. Him using the dropkick as a heel without the classic setup makes it come across as meaner than normal as just THROWS it with ill intent. Also, DW dubs the "Pele Kick" for the first time!! D-Lo's comeback and selling are awesome as hell, and AJ again takes insane bumps on everything. Trinity sneaks in a kick to turn the tide and AJ hits the springboard 450 and D-Lo kicks out! D-LO HITS A SUPER FALL-AWAY SLAM AND NEARLY BREAKS HIS NECK ON IT. Trinity distracts the ref and Sonny sneaks in and hits an Island Driver and AJ steals it
***
AJ is 1-0

Tonight, The Tag Titles are on the line. Gathering vs New Church. The Director of Authority debuts.

Elix Skipper comes out with the scales again and issues an open challenge and Crash Holly accepts!!! Amazing callback to see Crash show up when scales are involved. Also, he's going by Mad Mikey, and he will be dead by the end of the year. Yeah, TNA has me bringing everything down.

Match#2 Elix Skipper vs Mad Mikey
Super fun Skipper showcase. Not 100% sure where this leads as he never wins the X-Division title (because we really need droogs like Kaz and Mike Shane), but it's cool to see him out there doing super cool shit. He wins with the One and Only.
**1/2
They run a recap of the Jarrett/Legend feud. Fuck off.

HAHAHAHAH THEY GIVE LEGEND THE GOLDBERG INTRO WHERE HE'S FLANKED BY SECURITY. Life is pain. He comes out and cuts an Anti-American promo. Wait, what the fuck. Why is he cutting promos like this when Jeff has NEVER been presented as a Pro USA guy. Russo has very real CTE and i wish him God speed with his journey.

Match#3 Legend vs Matt Sydal & Alter Boy Luke
Legend makes Jinder's push look tame because at least he looks like he could kill a motherfucker with his bare hands, while Legend looks like should be sending DMs to IG models. This sucks to the shock of no one. He can't doing anything well and is caught thigh slapping a few times, and it's everything wrong with Russo live in colour. Jeff walks out and sits on the stage with the guitar. He hits two of the worst Neck breakers ever to win
LOLTNA

Post-match, Jeff and Legend fight again and Jeff has him ready for a guitar shot but Red Shirt Security comes out and stops him. Jeff shoves the leader Kevin Northcutt and ends up beating the shit out of him. OH NO.

In the back, Russo is yelling at AJ that he needs to stop being cocky and not make it to the ladder match, and AJ screams that he's got it. Awesome, break them up and get AJ the fuck away from this pissant.

Fallen Angel is coming to save our souls.

Siaki attacks D-Lo on the stage and they fight, and AJ runs from behind and clips his knee!!

Match#4 AJ Styles (c) vs D-Lo Brown (NWA World Heavyweight Championship - Best of Three Series - Match #2 - Submission Match)
Wonderful sprint. D-Lo's selling of both the knee and exhaustion is awesome as hell. AJ busts out the Last Chancery to wreak the knee, but he can't help himself but go to the air and throw gross strikes and just beat his ass. Tenay says he's not a submission guy and he might not be able to rein himself in to win, and i hate that's he right. He does go back to the knee at points, but he gets too caught up in hurting him and never finishes it when he can, and it lets D-Lo slowly fight back into it. He throws some nasty punches, but AJ gets him in the Sharpshooter and looks to have him beat, but D-Lo gets the classic reversal and bends AJ in half, AND AJ TAPS TO SAVE HIMSELF.
***

The Ladder Match will decide the winner.

This week, Tenay interviews Cyrus, He calls the fans "customers" and he's a management consultant to TNA and this is where the power is. He says he is the first man who understands both wrestling and business. He says the customers don't want hardcore wrestling and he's banned Sandman; hurt New Jack and we will never see another Credible/Lynn match. He also says we will never see women fight again .Tenay rants about giving the fans what they want, and Cyrus says they don't know what they want and then does an evil laugh to end it.

The women try to have a catfight, but the security try and stop it, but sadly it happens and it's horrible. Trinity shows up and helps the heels win. Why is this a thing. I mean, i know WHY, but why?

More 3LK shit. This time BG dresses up as a pimp. Kill me

In the ring, Disco tries to force JB to dress as a cowboy because he loves AMW and he should be their mascot. AMW rush the ring and strip Disco to his undies, but the heels attack from behind the match is on.
Match#5 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger w/Disco Inferno (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
They have a pretty dull and boring brawl for a while and it's a far cry from that first match that was actually a lot of fun. The heels really shit the bed when in control and any hope of this feud being good goes away, sadly. AMW have it won, but Disco attacks them with a cowbell for the DQ
*
Post match, Disco beats them down for what feels like forever. Love that Disco is now making the tag division shit after wreaking the main event. Truly the worst.

Recap of Raven/NC

In the back, Hudson is with the New Church and Douglas. Mitchell says his hate of Raven has him wanting to cut his own wrist and hang Raven with the skin like a noose. Douglas cuts another terrible promo. Dude truly never left 96 when he found his level and never went beyond it. Fucking hack.

Match#6 The Gathering vs Shane Douglas & The New Church w/Father James Mitchell
Babyface Raven leading a duo of young straight edge Punk and Julio, is the best time timeline ever. The kids both look good with Punker being the obvious standout, but Julio works as hard he can and looks the best has has thus far. He get isolated and NC's heel control seg rules again, but Shane brings NOTHING to it and looks horrible. Raven gets a babyface hot tag and it's incredible. Dude is out here throwing the best knee lifts of his life. He fight Shane through the crowd and someone in a white bodysuit drags him away, and the kids are all alone. They go a fun job of fighting the numbers game, AND RAVEN CRAWLS BACK OUT AND HE'S A BLOODY MESS. He drags himself back in and fights them as best he can and it's sooooooo much fun watching Raven become the babyface he was meant to be. Sadly, Douglas hits a terrible spear to send Raven through a table and he pins him.
**3/4

In the ring, Tenay brings out a bunch of NWA legends Sara Lee, Ricky Morton, Harley Race, Larry Zbyszko, and Corsica Jones. He says we will find out who the new D.O.A is going to be. AGAIN, these fucks never said this was going to happen until last week, and now they're acting like it was always the plan. Fucking TNA. Kid Kash comes out to shit on all of them, but he really singles out his trainer Ricky Morton for needing a partner to get anywhere in wrestling. Morton says Kash is nothing without him and Kash slaps him and grabs Sarah by the throat and tries to kill her, but Watts runs out and chokeslams him AND INTRODUCES HIMSELF AS THE NEW D.O.A. LMAOOOOOOOOOO FUCK OFF. Race decks Kash to end this. God help me.

NEXT WEEK. SABIN VS THE DEBUTING MICHAEL SHANE. A DOUBLE POLE MATCH; BAT VS GUITAR. The fall is on.

In the Perch, a bloody Raven and the kids are standing by. He say he's just getting warmed up after the beatings they gave him, and he wants a 6 man House of Fun match. Hell yeah.

Before the match, DW does an INCREDIBLE job of laying out why this is AJ's match to lose. He says D-Lo's leg is going to prevent him from climbing and won't beat AJ in a race to the top, and he brings up AJ/Lynn/Ki ladder match from last year and the other ladder matches he was in, and how AJ learnt so much from it. Goddamn, i love you.

Match#7 AJ Styles (c) w/Trinity vs D-Lo Brown ((NWA World Heavyweight Championship - Best of Three Series - Match #3 Ladder Match
They get into a wonderful batshit fight to start and both men take some lunatic bumps to the concrete. D-Lo hits a Flying Closeline off the steps and over the rail and AJ takes a gross bump. He throws a ladder right into poor AJ's head and neck. Fucking hell, man. AJ's comeback is wonderful and he breaks out his insane flipping senton over the top rope, and kills D-Lo's head with the ladder for some revenge. He keeps murdering him and the ladder lets AJ being as super mean and petty as possible. He shoves D-Lo off the ladder and waits for it to bounce off the ropes AND HE SWINGS IT BACK INTO' D-LO FACE. FUCK YEAH. One of the coolest AJ moments ever. He drags some tables out and goes for the kill, but D-Lo makes an epic comeback AND HE HITS THE LOW DOWN OFF THE LADDER THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR AND AJ IS DIED. Sonny Siaki runs out again and shoves D-Lo off the top before he can get he takes a nasty landing. Both men slowly get up and climb both sides and have a great fight over the belt and they both fall down holding it and the bell rings
***1/4

Russo runs down and demands they award AJ the match and the ref declares that because AJ wasn't beaten outright he keeps the title. Russo grabs the title and kisses and hugs it before giving it back to AJ.

AJ Styles is the only reason TNA didn't die after the first week. Truly a GOAT.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: CHRIS SABIN. Since-14/5/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#55
July 30th, 2003
TNA Asylum

We see footage of AJ and Russo backstage after week, and AJ looks dead to the world. Russo says he's the man and D-Lo is NEVER getting another shot.

Coming from that, AJ, Trinity and Siaki pull up in a limo. AJ tells Hudson to fuck off and walks off with Trinity, and Sonny has a camera crew with him and says they're making a doco about the ace in the hole.

Match#1 Elix Skipper vs Jerry Lynn
Lynn wins with a cradle in 15 seconds.
1/2*

Post match, Skipper gets on the mic and demands a rematch right now in a 2/3 falls match, annd Lynn accepts.

Match#2 Elix Skipper vs Jerry Lynn (best 2 out of 3)
Super fucking dull and boring for 10 minutes, with both guys looking terrible. Skipper bombing in a big singles match sucks, but it would explain why he never went further. Lynn wins with the Piledriver
3/4*

Siaki and Trinity come out for some mic time. He lists off his terrible nicknames and comes across as the biggest tryhard heel in the world. Just a sad mothefucker that should be working opening matches for the rest of his life. He can't even say envy correctly as he pronounces it "envery" He says he's the reason AJ won last week when he got involved in all 3 matches and D-Lo can fight him now if wants, AND AJ COMES OUT AND HE'S PISSED. He says he's the champ because he earned it, and he's the best the sport has to offer. He says not to forget his role in Team Styles "I CARRY THE GOLD, YOU CARRY MY BAGS" Sonny bombs on the mic trying to think a cool rebuttal, and calls AJ a kid and says he's Russo's right hand man, and AJ is the joker of the deck, and AJ slaps the piss out of him. He says he doesn't need either of them and all he needs is the world title.

D-Lo now comes out to capitalise on the problems. He says it's about time AJ saw the light and realised he doesn't need anyone but himself, and this is the old AJ Styles him and the fans love. He knows for the last week, he's wondered if he really won last week because he thought the same thing. He needs to know who the real champion is and wants a rematch. AJ admits it bugs him that he was this close to being the ex champ and his pride can't let that happen, and this won't be about hate or egos it'll be about respect for the title. AJ offers his hand and hugs D-LO!!! Sonny attacks from behind and AJ joins in and kicks the shit out of Brown. Watts runs down cleans house on Sonny because TNA has the worst babyfaces in the fucking world. He announces that the rematch is on for next week with Sonny banned from ringside, Russo will be handcuffed to him and it'll be in a cage match.

We find Raven and Julio sitting in the Perch burning a candle. Raven says Punk flaked out on them, so they'll make it a handicap match. Alexis makes her return and says she's coming as well.

Callis and his new charge come out for some more of this lame Network ripoff. In fact, I'll call him by his real name because Cyrus was SO much cooler than this lame bullshit. He says they're going to downsize Sandman tonight.

Match#3 The Sandman vs Edward Chastain w/Don Callis
Fun Sandman squash of this fat turd. Russian Leg-Sweep does it.
**

Post match, Callis puts on a white glove and shakes Chastain's hand and says he has to let him go due to downsizing. Thank God.

In the back, Shark Boy is sad because New Jack is gone from TNA and now he has no friends. Norman Smiley walks on and offers to teach him the big wiggle, and Sharky joins in and dances and we have a new team.

Match#4 Team Disco w/Disco Inferno vs Shark Boy & Norman Smiley
Horrible squash for Disco's shitty team. fuck this
1/2*

Post match, they try to kill JB again and AMW make the save. Storm gets on the mic and cuts a wonderful drunk redneck promo about how his daddy beat him worse than these clowns did last week, and they challenge them to a Rawhide Strap Match!! SORRY, ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK. FUCK YEAH, STORM.

This week, Tenay sat down with Russo. Sadly, nothing that'll live in wrestling folklore forever. He does say that he holds the power by having the world title and he can play the AJ card to get what he wants. Hmmm.

In the back, Sabin says he's proven he's truly the future and Kaz can go to the back of the line. Watts walks on and makes Kaz the guest ref for Sabin's title defence against the debuting Michael Shane. How the fuck is that fair?

Match#5 Chris Sabin (c) vs Michael Shane (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Kaz is the guest referee)
Shane is HBK's real life cousin and was trained by him, and used it to get himself booked in the early part of the indie boom. He's fine enough as a shithead heel, but he's bland as face and has something that makes him really easy to dislike on a personal level. This is fun though as they both go nuts and break cool stuff out for a few minutes. Sabin's control seg is fun again as he's really great in this role, and Shane takes a great beating. Kaz starts to favour Shane to the shock of no one and he hits Sabin with the W.O.F and tries to count 3, but another ref drags him out of the ring and makes him leave. Back in the ring, Sabin uses the distraction to brain Shane with the title to steal it
**3/4

Mad Mikey is MAD.

Match#6 Kid Kash vs Ricky Morton
This is pretty fun for the classic teacher vs student match. Morton looks old as hell, but he does break out a cool dive and takes a beating better than almost anyone who ever lived. His comeback is very rough, and he nearly kills himself on a Frankensteiner. Abyss sneaks in and kills him with a Shock Treatment and Kash steals it
*3/4

Another terrible 3LK comedy segment.

We get another terrible catfight segment. Hits just keep on coming.

FALLEN ANGEL IS COMING TO SAVE OUR SOULS.

Hype for the 6 person H.OF. match.

The heel team make their way out for the match and Brian Lee falls over on the stage and is clearly high or drunk as fuck, and poor Slash has to pick him up and direct him towards the ring. Oh, God. Breaks my heart to see anyone like this, especially because i don't think Lee ever got the help he needed and he pretty much vanished after this match. Sad fucking shit.

Match#7 The Gathering vs Shane Douglas & The New Church w/Father James Mitchell (Clockwork House of Fun Match)
Super fun garbage brawl thanks to our beloved faces and that crazy motherfucker SLASH. Lee is cooked as we covered, and is a danger to everyone who has to go near him. Lots of awesome plunda shots and blood, and everything you could want from these dudes. Alexis takes a few nasty shots as well as she's a lunatic after my heart. She takes the biggest wirlie-bird ever and takes an incredible bump for it. She keeps dying on everything and it's not hard to see why she made it to very top. Raven goes insane again with another amazing babyface comeback and the crowd is 110% behind him. He hits a babyface flying elbow through a table and someone drags him under the ring, and the Gathering gets murdered and a dead Raven is thrown back out and Shane steals another win over him
***.

In the back, D-Lo is standing behind a chain-link fence. He grates an apple across it to show what he's going to do to AJ. Well, that's just mean.

NEXT WEEK. SABIN VS KAZ PART 3. RAWHIDE STRAP MATCH. AJ VS D-LO IN THE CAGE.

In the back, AJ says he took D-Lo's class and it SUCKED. Russo taught him more than D-Lo ever did and next week the world sees why he's the best in the business

Hype for this godforsaken pole match

Match#8 Jeff Jarrett vs Legend (Bat and Guitar on a Pole)
TNA 2003 is the perfect mix of great and pure gutter trash. Still mind boggling that Jeff booked or agreed to do this. Won't put over Raven like he's meant to, but he'll make Legend look strong. Fucking asshole. This is terrible to the shock of no one, and i think the only ever good X on Pole was Taker/Brock. Just a terrible stip that only Russo gets hard for. A lot of bullshit happens like Sonny getting involved, and Black and Red shirt security fight and start something terrible. Jeff gets the guitar down and brains this terrible hack to win
LOLTNA

Jeff celebrates, BUT NEVER MIND THAT SHIT, THE FALLEN ANGEL CHRISTOPHER DANIELS RETURNS AND BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM WITH HIS AMAZING OFFENCE. He screams that tradition ends here and grabs a bat and kills him some more with it. Wonderful angle.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: CHRIS SABIN. Since-14/5/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#56
August 6th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs Team Disco w/Disco Inferno (Rawhide Strap Match)
JIP. There are straps tied to all the corners and you need to take them so you can use them, so it's not a real strap match, sadly. AMW are fired up and kick the snot out of these terrible humans and it's a lot fun watching them strap the crap out of them. Storm gets isolated and does his thing to make it not completely useless. Although, I'd rather he didn't and sunk this team once and for all. Harris' hot tag is the best as always before it all breaks down. Some cool moments in the finishing run, but Team Disco bring nothing. AMW kill Simon with a Doomsday 8 second ride to win
**1/2

Post match, Disco attacks them with a strap and steals the titles. Boooooooooo.

In the back, Red Shirts won't let Jerry Lynn is because Don Callis has barred him, and Lynn asks who the hell is Don Callis in a very funny bit. Don walks over and says they had to send Lynn home because of the violence he displayed in the Credible match, and if he can play by the rules from now on, he can stay. Lynn throws a fit and chucks his bag and storms off like a moody metal kid.

Hype for a 4 way X-Division elimination match. Shane cuts a heel promo and says he's going all the way. Joey Matthews says he cares about money and the title means money. Danny fucking Doring cuts a terrible promo and i have no idea why this idiot is here. Shark Boy dances.

Match#2 Michael Shane vs Joey Matthews vs Danny Doring vs Shark Boy (#1 Contenders elimination match for the X-Division championship)
Once again, another big X-Division multi man match isn't very good because some of the talent choice is terrible. Doring is terrible, and Matthews looks rusty, but the other two are fun. Skipper runs down and attacks everyone because he's mad he's not in this. He then cuts a promo on the announce table and says he's taking everyone out because he's the pound for pound best in the world. Ok, then. Shane superkicks Doring and Matthews to get rid of both of them, and has a fun little fight with Sharky before beating him with one as well.
*1/2

In the back, Watts says things will change thanks to Eric from WCW. He botches his promo by saying the NWA title has never been defended in a cage match, and just stumbles through the rest of it. The goddamn state of this fucking loser.

Speaking of losers, Shane Douglas is in the ring. He cut a dire promo where he says ASS and FRANCHISED a bunch of times and wants to fight Raven. He keeps going on and on until Raven finally comes out to try and save this. He sneaks in from behind and fights him again. He kills him with the EVENFLOW and tries to put him in a bodybag, but Mitchell shows up on screen and has Alexis and Julio tied up in the back, and says Raven has to choose between killing Shane or saving his friends for the first time in his selfish life, AND RAVEN RUNS TO THE BACK TO SAVE THEM. To be continued

In the back, a shirtless Larry Zbyszko is standing by. He says he's here to teach Kid Kash a lesson. Please no.

Match#3 Kid Kash vs Larry Zbyszko
Larry looks like an old man who escaped the aged care home before his shower. So, yeah, this sucks a lot because Kash is not AJ who can carry an old man to something awesome. Abyss helps him to win again.
Human Checkers

Backstage, Raven find the place where the Gathering were being held but they're gone, and he throws shit at the wall.

Back in the ring, The New Church has the kids tied up and Mitchell says he's shocked Raven is getting so soft in his old age caring about his friends, and he's going to en..RAVEN RUNS BACK DOWN AND FIGHTS THEM ALL WITH A TRASH CAN LID. FUCK YEAH. Douglas attacks him and hits the shitty Belly to Belly to turn the tide. Julio gets untied and tries to help, but he gets killed. Raven is stuffed in the body bag to end it.

Mad Mikey is still MAD.

In the back, Disco is dressed a cowboy and says Storm is a bastard who let his daddy down. AMW rush them and a big brawl breaks out and they fight to the ring. Team Disco end up laying them out with the straps. Fucking stop this.

Recap of the Kaz/Sabin feud.

Match#4 Chris Sabin (c) vs Frankie Kazarian (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Awesome spotfest. Kaz is very mad for some reason and shows more fire than he has in life to this point, and a great heated fight breaks out. Sabin hits a ugly German into the corner to take over and blasts the shit out Kaz with all the cool offence he can think of. Easily the best he's looked thus far, and he's been nothing but great up till this point. Kaz's selling rules and when he comeback, his selling of the beating is so good. It breaks down and they go nuts with cool stuff trying to kill the other guy. The ref gets bumped and Sabin hits Kaz with the title and the ref counts 3. Another ref runs down and tells the first ref what happened and the match is restarted. Kaz hits W.O.F to win to win the title.
***

Post match, the refs argue and the head ref announces he's taking the title to Watts to get him to make a final decision. This leads somewhere awesome, so hell yeah.

More 3LK nonsense.

In the crowd, we find Christophe Daniels with a mic. He says he was meant to come back this week but he couldn't stand to see tradition defile TNA any more, and he is here to kill the cancer off for good to save his children. He cast the first stone at tradition when he took out its most celebrated follower, Jeff Jarrett. He knows they've lived in the dark so long that they now fear the light he's bringing to TNA. SEX saved his life and he hopes he to show the fans the path to enlightenment. He once followed tradition and it got him nowhere and Russo got his head straight and he realised that tradition is stagnation. This is a metamorphoses of change and tradition will no longer impede on the change that needs to happen. He asks for a volunteer to undergo the change they need, he rips the fans for not being good enough to join in and one of them throws a drink at him and Daniels beats his ass for it. Jeff Jarrett runs down and Daniels bails to higher ground.

Jeff gets a mic and says if Daniels wants to preach, he's got all night to listen. He gets in the ring while they setting up the cage and challenges him to a fight, and says he's not leaving. Red Shirts come out and Jeff swings a chair at them and Black Shirts get in the middle of it, and the shirts argue and Daniels slides back in and fights him!! Red Shirts drag Jeff off and Daniels kicks him in the dick while they hold him and hits Angels Wings and stands tall. Wonderful stuff.

Hype for the main event.

At ringside, AMW challenge Team Disco to a 6 man bullrope match. They're bringing Dusty with them!!!

We now go to a sit-down interview with AJ and Russo. Tenay demands to know why AJ joined him and AJ says "Why Not?" He made TNA what it is today and with Russo's help, he's never losing the title. D-Lo was the one who befriended him and maybe he was the one who learnt something from him. He says Russo will be at ringside and they're morons for leaving his coach out there to help him. Tenay rants about AJ being blinded by Russo, and AJ says he doesn't see it that way and Russo stops the interview. He sends AJ off and stands over Tenay, and they go back and forth and finally declare their love for one another.

We go to another one with D-Lo and Hudson. He says he puts himself under pressure every single day, and he's a teacher to the younger guys no more. He shines tonight. AJ sold his soul to the devil and this is about pride and personal business, which goes against AJ's promo from last week. So, clearly D-Lo is a moron who deserves the worst for not being able to put it all aside to win the gold.

Match#5 AJ Styles (c) vs D-Lo Brown (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Steel Cage Match. Russo is handcuffed to Watts)
They have an awesome back an forth with a ton of counters showing both men really do know the other. AJ does the RVD Spiderman wall catch to avoid being sent into it, and has the best cocky shithead smile at how good he is. D-Lo nukes him with a lariat and beats his ass in revenge, and AJ takes some crazy bumps into the cage and he's busted open. Russo causes a distraction and AJ boots Brown into the cage and he's bleeding at well. AJ hits two gross dropkicks into the cage and D-Lo's head and neck bend in terrifying ways. It turns into a bloody desperate fight and both dudes sell all the blood loss and damage so well. They kick out of each other's finish and D-Lo tackles AJ into the cage over and over and AJ crumples off it and D-Lo hits the Sky High and Styles is dead! He climbs up to hit the super Low-Down, but Russo throws powder in Watts' shitty face and shakes the cage to try and get D-Lo to fall off. Watts shoves Russo into the cage AND D-LO FALLS OFF AND LANDS ON HIS KNEES AND FACE, AND HE'S FUCKING DEAD. AJ slowly crawls over and gets an arm over him to get the 3.
***1/4

Russo gets un-cuffed by Legend and they celebrate with Team Styles in the cage. Russo gets on the mic and says all the contenders are done and he rants as Tenay says we're out of time, and the show ends with Russo mid rant.

Horrible episode once again saved by AJ Styles.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: CHRIS SABIN. Since-14/5/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#57
August 13th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Tonight. Raven vs Douglas. 6 man Bullrope Match

Match#1 3 Live Kru vs Vampire Warrior, Crowbar & Sinn
Sinn is the infamous Kizarny from WWE in 09, and he's fucking terrible. This is also fucking terrible and feels like a personal attack for daring to watch all of TNA. The Nazis are watching from the rafters as if life couldn't be fucking worse. BG beats Sinn with the Pumphandle
Spending all day in wet socks and giving yourself trench foot

Tenay announces that Bobby Eaton will face Kid Kash tonight. Hell Yeah. Kaz/Shane meet in a #1 contenders Ladder Match.

We see footage after the show went off the air last week. Team Styles handcuffed Watts to the cage and beat his as until Double J made the save like the big man he is. He laid out all the heels because you will love him, damn it.

Watts is in the ring and cuts another dreadful promo about his shithead father teaching him how to fight. Yeah, but he didn't teach your worthless ass to wrestle, now did he? Fuck off. AJ and Russo come out with a mic for some more dire back and forth. Just the worst stuff imaginable. Russo says AJ is on vacation because he's beaten every contender they have, and Sting won't fight him either, so they're leaving. Watts says they have three options. One of them is homophobic joke. The second is face LOW KI TONIGHT, and the third is he will vacate the title if he doesn't do it. Russo tries to walk out, but AJ gets back in and dares Watts to take the title from him. They go to fight but Ki makes his return and attacks from behind and they have a great fight until Legend turns the tide. Uhh, fuck off. Watts fights him and goes to chokeslam AJ, but Russo hits him with a bat and AJ beats up Ki until that pesky dickhead Double J makes the save. He easily beats AJ's ass, but lets Ki at least kick him out of the ring so he can look good for his return.

Jesus Christ, that was horrible. Made everyone other than Jeff (guess who's booking this fucking thing?) look like assholes. Undercut Ki's return as a babyface and soured the big match. LOLTNA.

In the back, Team Disco are still dressed as cowboys which in turn means more terrible promos about cowboys. Simon Diamond has the single worst Dusty impression ever. Didn't know it was possible to do a bad Dusty, but he did.

Skipper comes out for his match and Lynn attacks him from behind, and Tenay says the match has started. Wait. He was fucking kicked out last week, why is he back with no promo or angle. Fucking Russo.

Match#2 Jerry Lynn vs Elix Skipper
Again, this is not a good match-up as Skipper looks really bad as a singles heel, and Lynn is old as fuck and the AJ feud was his swan song. Tenay says Skipper calls the rana walk "New School" and i will never calling it that. Lynn shoves him off during that and hits a slingshot DDT to win
*

Skipper attacks him post match, and Lynn fights him off and breaks the scales over his skull. Don Callis is watching from the stage and he's mad. Hey, I'm mad Lynn is still a thing, dude. Lynn flips him off and storms out into the crowd.

In the back, Hudson is with Sabin. He says Watts has decided he will stay the champion, but the ladder match will decide his next challenger. Sabin calls them kids playing a man's game, and they can call him when they find someone worthy.

Match#3 Frankie Kazarian vs Michael Shane (#1 Contenders Ladder Match)
Russo booking ladder matches with no build, what a cock. This is fun though, as it's two young kings going nuts in the easiest gimmick match to do cool shit in. Kaz works heel against the little shit trying to steal his chance, and it's a cool story to tell. Shane takes something gross bumps and makes a really good babyface. Kaz apes Jeff Hardy's awesome leg drop when he leaps over the ladder, and it's the coolest thing he's ever done. They fight on the ladder and Kaz sunset flip powerbombs Shane off and he's dead. Kaz climbs up but Sabin runs down and shoves him off, and walks up the ramp, AND HE RUNS BACK DOWN WHEN SHANE CLIMBS UP AND DROPKICKS HIM OFF. He climbs up and steals the contract and the ref calls for the bell and it's a no contest. Awesome bullshit finish
**3/4

Sabin beats the crap out of both of them with a ladder, and Callis walks down and takes the contract and title and walks away. Sabin keeps beating the fuck out of them in awesome fashion. He can't find his belt and is pissed as hell.

Mad Mikey is still kinda MAD.

In the back, Hudson is with top babyface Jeff Jarrett. He hates Russo and is going to kill him, or some lame shit.

Before his match, Kash cuts a promo about Dusty stealing all the brownies in catering, and he's going to beat his ass.

Match#4 Kid Kash vs Beautiful Bobby Eaton
Eaton is the greatest human to ever enter this terrible sport, and he shows it by being the best legend Kash has faced. Kash attacks him before the bell and kicks the crap out of him, and Bobby's selling and bumping is GOAT level. His comeback is all wonderful basics done better than anyone else, and Kash takes great bumps for everything. Abyss runs down to help AND EATON AIN'T SCARED OF SHIT AND PUNCHES THE HELL OUT OF HIM. Kash kicks him in the dick and rolls him up to win. What a blast.
***

In the back, Legend is beating up Watts, Oh, dear God, please fucking don't.

Recap of the Raven/Douglas feud.

In Raven's lair, he prays over a candle as Hudson narrates that all the seconds are banned from ringside. Raven says he's going to burn Mitchell and gut that maggot Douglas, and then he'll have his closure.

Match#5 Raven vs Shane Douglas
Biggest carry job Raven has been tasked with since Gordy in ECW. Although, Gordy has the excuse of being a stroke victim, Shane is just a terrible wrestler who shouldn't be here at all. So, not really fair to lump Gordy in with him. He does everything in his power to make Shane look good with his selling, bumping, bleeding and amazing babyface fire. Meanwhile, Shane's big contribution is making that stupid fucking face and some decent brawling. Great work, man. The control seg is of course, ALL Raven dying on everything, and for once i wished he wasn't trying. But nah, my man can't help but work his ass off and do his best. He takes some stupid amazing bumps on all of Shane's shit, and it's more proof of how great of a face he is. Raven finally low blows him with a chair, and Shane has the dumbest fucking facial sell on it. He really reminds me of Ken Kennedy, but somehow even lamer. Hell, he could be Ken's daddy and i wouldn't be shocked. Raven has a wonderful comeback and shows ALL that fire in the world. HE HITS A SERIES OF BLOODY HEADBUTTS TO GET OUT OF THE BELLY TO BELLY AND HE HITS ONE OF HIS OWN. Mitchell shows up on the stage and says Raven can either show how much of a selfish bastard he is and win, or he can save Alexis from the body bag where she has maybe 15 seconds left. Douglas tries to spin him back round for his finish, but Raven counters into a school boy and steals it. One of the finest one man shows you'll find.
**3/4

Raven runs up the stage to save her, but baw gawd a hand comes out and chokes him. The lights go out and when they come back on, Raven is died. Douglas tries to cut his hair but blackshirts stop him.

Recap of the D-Lo/Sonny beef.

Sonny cuts a lame promo about burying D-Lo's career next week.

In the back, Hudson is with Callis, He says Lynn will be dealt with in the future, and he has power now that Watts is hurt. He announces the first ever Ultimate X between Sabin/Kaz/Shane.

Fuck yeah.

Hype for the 6 man. They play some really dramatic music and shoot it in black and white like this has been some feud of the ages, and not a massive fucking blight on TNA.

Match#6 America's Most Wanted & Dusty Rhodes vs Disco Inferno & Team Disco
It's no longer a bullrope match. Fucking Russo taking away the thing i wanted to see. Wonder if Disco bitched out because he's a coward. AMW do their best to get something out of the loser, and the big fella throws some elbows and gets funky like a monkey. Control seg is super lame and long and AMW can't save it. Dusty beats Disco with a cowbell
*

Daniels rushes the ring and beats the fuck out of Dusty because fuck tradition, baby. Jeff makes the save and easily owns Daniels and makes him looks like a nothing. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. Legend shows up and all the heels beat up AMW and Dusty, and DW wonders if SEX has reformed. JEFF GETS A CHAIR AND CLEANS HOUSE ON ALL THE HEELS AND WATTS HELPS HIM. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA EAT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT. Watts gets on the mic and re-books the bullrope match for next week, and Jeff and himself vs Daniels and Legend. lmaooooo fuck this shit. Yeah, I'm done with Jeff Jarrett in TNA until like 09. The next 3 years are going to be fucking painful before he finally goes away,

We then get a fucking Jarrett hype video. Christ alive, man.

In the back, Hudson is with Low Ki. Tonight the fans will remember the war they're about to see. He knows how good AJ is, but his eyes are blinded by glory and he will show him the truth, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE FIGHTER, BUT FIGHT HE WILL BRING. AJ STYLES ALL YOU CAN DO IS BE READY

Match#7 AJ Styles (c) w/Vince Russo vs Low Ki (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship)
They have a wonderful feeling out to start and it's so crisp and smooth, and the best kind of way to start this. It breaks down quick and both dudes throw insane strikes and batter each other as only they can. AJ uses the proper dropkick setup and blasts KI in the mouth, so Ki gets him back with a gross uppercut to the jaw. Ki takes over and murders him with kicks and AJ takes lunatic bumps off on the last compo kick. Tenay says AJ has gotten away from his X-Division roots now that he's a HW, and he better remember them quick or else. AJ HITS THE STYLIN DDT TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING AND DROPS THE BACK OF KI'S HEAD ON THE RAMP. Fucking hell. His control seg is amazing as he works the head and neck and really beats Ki's ass as only he can. AJ rana's Ki's throat across the ropes in a crazy move, and he's just breaking out shit no one else thinks of doing, or could even do. Ki's comeback is wild as hell as he does every kick combo he can think of to kill AJ. AJ breaks out the nasty DDT/Ki Krusher counter and they both sell like death. They have a wild finishing run with a ton of cool stuff, counters and near falls. Ki hits an insane kick to send AJ out of the ring, and he beats Russo's ass when he tries to stop him. The ref drags Russo away and AJ sneaks in a baseball bat to the head to steal the win
***12

The show ends with AJ's theme playing over the credits. Truly the main character of TNA
​

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: CHRIS SABIN. Since-14/5/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#58
August 20th, 2003
TNA Asylum

So, the opening angle is missing, but Raven got murdered by the NC and sent to the hospital.

In the back, Lynn says he's losing money every time Callis throws him off a show, and it's wrong!! Calis walks over and says Lynn broke the rules last week when he used the scales and shoved a ref, so he's fining him 5 grand. Oh, and no personal cheques, please.

Recap of everything that lead to the first ever UX match.

UX is one of my favourite gimmick matches ever. It's almost impossible to fuck up as it guarantees insanity, and it feels like the perfect way to finally settle a feud.. Insane to think TNA created this when they also came up with Lockdown and the KOTM, but good for them.

Match#1 Chris Sabin (c) vs Frankie Kazarian vs Michael Shane (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship. Ultimate X)
Going to cover this in highlight form just to make it easier for myself the reader.
A true first match as we get all 3 trying to figure out the best approach to winning this
Shane is the first man to attempt to climb across it, and the first man to hit a crazy move off as he rana's Sabin off Kaz's shoulders.
Sabin dropkicks them both off as they're hanging on and Shane has a gross landing on his hip.
Shane gets thrown into a chair in the corner and gets a gusher of a cut and his selling is wonderful.
Sabin takes them both out with a chair and looks to have to won, but Shane hits with a chair in the fucking kidney and he drops.
The title falls off when Sabin hits the mat and the match is paused so they can re-hang the title.
This will be a problem that happens a few times, including a complete shit show on PPV in 05.
They fight out on the floor and Shane takes a gross header into the rail.
Kaz botches a sunset flip and pulls Sabin's pants down the crowd shits on him for it.
Kaz gets tangled in the cables and nearly chokes himself with them. lmao
SHANE TRIES TO RANA SABIN OFF THE CABLES, BUT SABIN HOOKS HIS LEGS AND KILLS HIM WITH A FUCKING POWERBOMB.
Kaz botches trying to dropkick Sabin off and Chris has to keep hanging on so Kaz can set back up to spear him off, and the fucking title falls off again.
Shane is a Goddamn mess. The true MVP of this.
Kaz and Sabin fight in the middle and Sabin gets kicked off and Kaz reaches it for it, BUT SHANE CLIMBS ACROSS AT RECORD SPEED TO STEAL THE TITLE FROM KAZ'S SHITTY HANDS

**3/4

A perfect display of the best and worst this match has to offer. Thankfully, the next one is where it really becomes a wonderful thing, and that hack Kaz can't ruin it.

In the carpark, a hearse shows up and hudson says it could be some form of symbolism. Gee, you fucking think. Sonny says D-Lo goes home in it tonight.

Match#2 America's Most Wanted vs Team Disco w/Disco Inferno (Texas Bullrope Match)
AMW come dressed as they are for this, and do everything to drag these morons into a fun fight. Team Disco stink and bring almost nothing, but even they can't fuck up using a bull rope. AMW take some wicked shots and bumps to the concrete and the UX structure. Just doing whatever it takes to make this fun. Disco keeps getting involved and his bullshit lets Swinger hit Storm with a title belt to steal it. FUCK
**1/2

Team Disco keep beating them down.

In the back, Julio says Raven is badly injured and they want a tag match right now. Douglas and Slash jump Punker and Julio and have an awesome bawl.

In the ring, Sonny and Trinity are here for the burial of D-Lo. TNA might have the worst collection of heels of any company in the early 2000's. Fucking dire. He steals the Rock's famous Austin eulogy promo from 99, and i can't stop laughing at how blatant it all is. D-Lo jumps out of the coffin and sticks both the heels into it. Fuck this.

Match#3 The Gathering w/Alexis Laree vs SLASH & Sinn w/Father James Mitchell
Lee is gone and has been replaced with the worst wrestler in the company. FML. SLASH does the best to carry the load and the Gathering are fun again, so not all bad. Punker gets isolated and the heels do a good job of it, and Julio's hot tag is a lot of fun. It all breaks down as it tends to and Alexis gets involved for some revenge for all the shit they've done to her. Douglas sadly runs down and kills Julio with the B2B and the heels steal it
**

Post match, Alexis kicks Mitchell in the dick, but Douglas lays her out. They cut some of hair off to end it.

This week, Tenay sits down with Watts to talk about him being the new D.O.A. He says he'll call it down the middle and won't get involved in politics. He says TNA owns 51% of the company and the NWA has the other 49% and both sides are in conflict on how to run the company. Callis thinks he runs things, but he's the real boss and he'll show if Callis gets out of line. Oh, fuck off.

In a pre tape, AJ and Russo are on vacation sitting poolside. AJ says he took all the contenders out, so now TNA is running a gauntlet match to find him someone to beat, and it's a waste of time because he's never losing. He says he'll be back next week to prove it. He then does a Spiral Tap into the pool.

Match#4 Jeff Jarrett & Erik Watts vs Christopher Daniels & Legend
Jeff/Daniels is awesome and should hopefully (?) be an awesome singles match down the line. Watts/Legend is not awesome at all, and if it's a singles match down the line, i might quit this all together. Jeff gets isolated to least get something out of this, but it sets Watts up as the hot tag and that's bad as fuck. It breaks down and Jeff gets a rollup on Legend to win this match, and hopefully that terrible feud.
*1/2

Post match, the heels attack the winners with a chair. Black Shirts try to get them stop but the fucking Red Shirts stop them a TERRIBLE fight breaks out. Lynn runs down to fight them and get some revenge, but one of the RSS hits him with a shitty lariat and they beat his ass and drag him to the back. Watts gets taken out at ringside and two dudes in Freddy and Jason masks handcuff Watts to the rail. JASON GETS IN THE THE RING AND HITS A PELE AND A STYLES CLASH ON JEFF, AND THAT FUCKING HACK TENAY ASKS WHO IT IS, AND DW SAYS WE KNOW. FUCK YEAH, DW. Daniels and AJ powerbomb Jeff through a table and he's finally dead. They drag Jeff to the carpark and throw him in Sonny's hearse and they drive him away to hopefully kill him off for good.

Piper is coming back.

Dusty cuts a promo on Disco and challenges him to a bullrope match for next week. Oh, joy.

NEXT WEEK. DUSTY VS DISCO. SHANE DEFENDS THE X-DIVISION TITLE. SONNY VS D-LO. AJ FACES THE WINNER OF THE GAUNTLET MATCH.

TNA never promoted the gauntlet, btw. Awesome work, guys.

Match#5 Gauntlet for the Gold (#1 Contenders Match)
#1 is Kid Kash
#2 is Truth
Really fun fight between them, and it's so good to see Truth get to be by himself again.
#3 is Daniels
He's full of energy and has a really cool run of offence.
# is BG James
Horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible
Truth/Daniels rules, and i want a singles match.
#5 is Sonny Siaki
Bad run of offence from him
#6 is meant to be Double J, but he died
Not much is happening in the ring, so Sonny cuts a promo to kill some time.
#7 is D-Lo Brown
He goes insane on all the heels and it's the best thing in 5 minutes
Mad Mikey is MAD at not being in this and yells on commentary about being MAD.
The camera misses D-Lo throwing Sonny out, so they have to replay it.
#8 is Abyss
He murders BG for being terrible
He powebombs Truth out
He also closelines BG out
Yeah, Abyss.
#9 is The Sandman
ABYSS THROWS OUT KASH
MAD mikey tries to fight Abyss and dies for it
Sandman canes everyone.
#10 is Legend
Gross.
All his stuff looks like shit
Abyss/D-Lo rules
#11 is Konnan
This has the worst lineup ever.
Abyss is forced to sell for this hack and i hate everything.
Abyss throws Sandman out
#12 is Shane Douglas
He whiffs on all his strikes and somehow looks worse than normal.
Fucking end this
#13 is RAVEN
OH THANK YOU GOD
HE'S A BLOODY MESS AND GOES ON A WONDERFUL BABYFACE RUN AND SAVES THE MATCH.
HE EVEN ADDS A FUCKING SUPERKICK
HE EVENFLOWS ABYSS OUT OF A CHOKESLAM AND THROWS HIM OUT
Tenay botches the call and said Abyss powerslamed him. God, i fucking hate you.
Daniels kicks Konnan out.
Daniels/D-Lo is wonderful
Daniels closelines D-Lo out in a big shocker.
Raven throws Daniels out and we're down to two
Shane does his horrible fucking face, but Raven beats his stupid ass for it.
Raven fights through all his crap and kills him with the EVENFLOW to win.
Shane took the bump on his knees because he's a selfish jerkoff. Fuck him forever
GOD BLESS RAVEN.
**1/2

Raven/AJ is going to be incredible.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-25/6/03

NWA-TNA PPV#59
August 27th, 2003
TNA Asylum

A terrible video about Watt's becoming the D.O.A bringing a new dawn to TNA

Match#1 Shane Douglas, SLASH & Sinn vs 3 Live Kru
OH DEAR GOD. None of this is good or watchable, or even worth making a joke about. The actual worst possible match these bastards could book, and they did it. LOLTNA. Mitchell gets a mic and says Alexis is died, which means she's bailed on this shitshow and is now in WWE. The Gathering eventually show up and fight this dogshit trio and the match ends.
LOLTNA

3LK "help" run the heels off.

In the carpark, Terry Taylor is standing by with Siaki and Trinity. Sonny again says he's burying D-Lo's career, and then walks off for his match.

Match#2 D-Lo Brown vs Sonny Siaki
They have a really good fight and Sonny works as hard as his limited skill set can allow, and he does an ok job. D-Lo is a nutcase and takes some insane bumps he doesn't need to, but bless him for doing it. He takes a powerbomb on the floor and then gets swung headfirst into the steps!!! Sonny's control seg is fine enough thanks to D-Lo. Same for the comeback and finishing run. Trinity gets involved and hits a Tornado DDT, and Sonny hits his Island Driver to steal it.
**3/4

They fight to the carpark where the hearse is waiting by, and that douchebag Jeff Jarrett is sadly alive and attacks Sonny. He brains Sonny with a guitar and throws him in the hearse. Fuck off.

TONIGHT. AJ VS RAVEN FOR THE WORLD TITLE. AMW VS TEAM DISCO FOR THE TAG TITLES. SHANE VS LYNN FOR THE X TITLE. ABYSS VS SANDMAN

Callis storms the commentary booth and says Watts has screwed up giving Lynn a title shot after all his heinous actions, and he's staying to make sure he behaves himself.

Recap of UX.

In the back, Shane is now in full heel mode chewing gum and whatnot. Kinda a shame to undercut his awesome babyface run last week, but he's better off as a heel. He calls himself the Showstopper, the Main Event. The Heartbreak Kid...'s cousin, Michael Shane. Tonight he dances all over Lynn's face. Weird he never got a WWE run given his family, but Shawn is a fuck who probably wouldn't have helped him. So, whatever.

Match#3 Michael Shane (c) vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Lynn dyed his beard and he looks like a creeper. They have the same Godforsaken opening that every Lynn match since 98, aside from the AJ matches has had. They then have the same lame counters and shit that Lynn always does. Shane takes over by dropping Lynn throat first on the ropes like this is the 70's, or something. Control seg is fine enough basics, and Shane looks good in control as well. Lynn makes the Lynn comeback and punches the shit out Shane, and Callis is mad and runs off to the back. He brings back the fucking Red Shirts to distract him. Lynn gets rid of them, but turns into a Superkick for the loss.
**

Callis thanks the shitty red shirts for their help.

This week, Tenay sits down with Raven. He talks about sometimes having no choice in life, and it is his DESTINY to win the NWA title. He talks about Tommy Rich being the world champ and having the world at his feet, but he got in a blood feud with Buzz Sawyer and never made it back to the top. He says he did the same in ECW with Tommy and Sandman, and he came to TNA to reach his density. Now he has Mitchell and co trying to stop him, and that's fine because he's never lost sight of the prize. He drops the catchphrase but AJ and Russo walk on and make fun of Raven for being old and wearing makeup, so Raven drops AJ with a punch and Russo drags him off before they can fight more.

Recap of Abyss throwing tons of people out last week during the main event.

Match#4 Abyss vs The Sandman
Hell Yeah. Abyss beats the crap out of him and Sandman is forced to break out the toys to have any chance of winning. Kash runs down and yells at Abyss for throwing him out, and he Rana's him to the outside through a table!!!! It doesn't matter as Abyss comes back and murders Sandman with the BHS to win
**1/4

In the back, Taylor demands what to know what Kash is thinking. Abyss storms on and stands over Kash and Terry tells Abyss to stand up for himself, AND KASH SLAPS TERRY AND ABYSS PROTECTS KASH FROM GETTING BEAT. I like this a lot.

Match#5 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Team Disco (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
AMW rush them again and we get the same opening fight we always do, and it's fun and stuff, but some change wouldn't hurt. Storm is isolated and the control seg sucks a ton of shit as these idiots botch a ton, and poor Storm has to sell stuff that's not even coming close. Harris' hot tag is fun as always before everything breaks down. They break out a Tower of Doom stacksuplex and Storm is fucked up from it and Harris is all alone. Disco comes down and distracts the ref a few times and finally hits Harris with a chair, AND FUCKING TEAM DISCO HIT THE SNAPSHOT AND THEY WIN THE TITLES. R.I.P Tag titles until June 04
*3/4

Dusty comes down to the ring with his bullrope and challenges Disco to do it right now.

Match#6 Dusty Rhodes vs Disco Inferno (Texas Bullrope Match)
The feel good murder of Disco!! Dusty beats the hell out of him and gives some of that sweet CTE. Sadly, Daniels runs down and hits Dusty in the back of the head with a loaded fist and fucking Disco steals the win.
*1/2

Post match, Daniels prays over his body and mourns the death of tradition. Harris runs back down to help fight them off, but Team Disco attack him from behind. BUT OUR HERO JEFF JARRETT RUNS DOWN CLEANS HOUSE AND HITS DANIELS WITH THE GUITAR. YOU WILL CHEER JEFF JARRETT, OR HE WILL HOLD THE TITLE FOREVER.

Mad Mikey is still sorta kinda MAD.

In the back, 3LK say words and they get interupted by Team Disco to start a terrible feud. BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, JEFF SHOWS UP AND HITS DISCO WITH A GUITAR. Bless our top face.

Piper is coming

NEXT WEEK THE SUPER X CUP DEBUTS WITH THE WINNER EARNING A FUTURE SHOT THE AT THE X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP. HOWEVER, SHANE IS ALSO IN THE TOURNAMENT AND CAN BLOCK ANY FUTURE CHALLENGERS IF HE WINS.

Frankie Kazarian​ Jerry Lynn​ Jonny Storm​ Juventud Guerrera​ Michael Shane​ Nosawa​ Teddy Hart​ Chris Sabin​

Recap of all the shit Raven went through last week to finally get another shot at the title.

JB does the big intros for the main event to give that incredible feeling. Also, kudos to TNA for actually saving a rematch for the world title and not throwing it out with nothing behind.

Match#7 AJ Styles (c) w/Vince Russo va Raven (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship)
AJ is cocky as shit and doesn't take Raven seriously at all, and he gets fucking owned for it. Raven outwrestles him on the mat and keeps beating him with ease. DW figures out that maybe Raven is playing a bigger game, and it becomes true when Raven throws AJ out of the ring and bashes him with a trash can to bust him open. He batters the piss out of hm on the outside and DW realises that Raven tricked AJ into thinking it was going to be a wrestling match only to switch up and kill him for his mistake. AJ has to hit a low blow and a Stylin DDT to finally stop Raven, and the Gathering run down and drag Russo to the back. It turns into an awesome slugfest and AJ drops him with the Pele and has another wonderful control seg. The fans chant for Raven and AJ gets angrier and angrier, and the beating get worse the more they chant. Raven takes another DTH to the chair, but he counters the second by chucking the chair in AJ's skull, and the comeback is on. Incredible babyface fire again with the knee lifts and a bulldog thrown in to really make it. RAVEN COUNTERS AJ JUMPING OFF THE ROPES BY THROWING THE CHAIR AT HIS FACE AND AJ CAN'T BLOCK IT AND TAKES IT FACE FIRST. He hits a Styles Clash and has it won, but Sinn drags the ref out. He gets taken out and the ref gets bumped and all the bullshit hits. Raven kicks powder in Slash's eyes and he accidently takes out AJ with the Whirly Bird. Raven take him out and comes close to winning, but Douglas runs down and kicks him in the dick and AJ hits the Clash to steal it
***1/4

The heels beat Raven down and Chris Harris and D-Lo show up on the other side of the ring and Harris grabs the mic and says he's had enough of the crap. He's sicking of these guys being screwed over time and time again, and he demands the ref restart the match!! Team Disco run down and fight them at the ringside and AJ and Shane attack Raven in the ring. Daniels gets in as well and Double J and Watts show up and turn the tide. Watts announces next week these ten will beat the bloody hell out of each other in WEDNESDAY BLOODY WEDNESDAY. A combo of Wargames and The House of fun. Basically, the birth of Lethal Lockdown two years before it become a thing. Watts announces he'll be the guest ref. Dusty comes down and announces he'll be the gatekeeper for it. Everyone then brawls to end the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#60
September 3rd, 2003
TNA Asylum

Awesome hype video for the cage match.

TONIGHT WEDNESDAY BLOODY WEDNESDAY. THE SUPER X CUP.

Match#1 Mad Mikey vs Lazz
Lazz looks like a bad Sting cosplayer. This is not good because MAD Mikey isn't a very squasher. Tiger Driver does it
3/4*

Tenay announces the brackets for the X-Cup
-Juventud Guerrera vs. Nosawa
-Teddy Hart vs. Jonny Storm
-Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn
-Michael Shane vs. Frankie Kazarian

In the back, Dusty talks about his history in bloody cage matches where he was funky like a monkey, if you wheel. He says this will be like when he used to kick Arn Anderson's ass.

Match#1 Juventud Guerrera vs Nosawa (Super X-Cup Round 1)
Juice is very over and very insane. He throws out some cool shit but actually hangs back to save more for later, which for Juice is wild. Nosawa doesn't bring much other than being a warm body for cool shit to be hit on. Also, he's a Juggalo and works for them. So, not a fan. Juvi Driver and the 450 ends it
**1/4

In the back, Mitchell says it'll never be over and there is more loss coming for Raven. He finally explains that taking his hair is about taking his self-image and Douglas is going to scalp him. Yeah, he's not wrong. Disco walks over and tells him to get his mind in the game and Douglas needs to focus on the main event and they need to work together. Mitchell agrees, but looks like he wants to set Disco on fire.

Match#2 Teddy Hart vs Jonny Storm (Super X-Cup Round 1)
Teddy looks like a reject from a Daft Punk video. Unlike Juvi, Teddy holds nothing back because he's a fucking moron that has zero concept of restraint. His stuff is awesome though, so not all that bad. He wins with a SSP.
**1/2

In the back, Sonny tries to rally Team Disco to following his lead, but they blow him off. Douglas walks on and cuts another terrible promo. ASSES WILL BE FRANCHISED.

Match#3 Chris Sabin vs Jerry Lynn (Super X-Cup Round 1)
All these matches are sprints and everyone is going nuts, so this Lynn's best match since the tag win months ago. Lynn beats the shit out of the kid to show his METAL ANGER, and Sabin is a great pinball. Lynn hits the TKO and is pissed that Sabin got his foot on the rope, so he goes to kill the ref and Callis comes out and says he's gone if he hurts him. This allows Sabin to sneak in a kick to the balls to steal it
**1/2

In the back, Raven and the Gathering are in their lair. Raven says he was THIS close to destiny last week, but dream is on hold until Mitchell and the New Church are eliminated. He says Michell and Douglas are all his. He will not lose his hair and he's lot more dangerous than ever before.

Match#4 Frankie Kazarian vs Michael Shane
Another super quick match with some cool spots thrown in, but no story because of the time problems. They trade roll-ups for 90 seconds and Kaz steals it
*

In the back, AJ and Russo are standing by. AJ says this is BS. The cage is wrong because nothing is on the line and he smells a rat. Russo says this is a bullshit way of hurting AJ and taking the title away from via injury, but he's got his back.

Match#5 Teddy Hart vs Juventud Guerrera (Semi-Finals)
Super fun spot fest from two very real crazy people. They go 100kms an hour and it's wonderfully fucking stupid. So many rana's and botches mixed with crazy stuff. Teddy breaks out the Spiral Tap which is going to lead to some serious shit backstage with AJ, who famously gave him a list of moves he didn't want him to do, and Teddy did a Teddy and did them anyway. Juvi kills him with dead with the super Juvi Driver.
**3/4

The fucking Redshirts do the interrogation this week.
Black Shirts-brownies
Red Shirts-law of the land
Lynn-Doesn't respect authority.
Rent-a-cop or security guards.BAD ASSES.
Double J-Close to crossing the line
Sapp or Tyson-One of these goons says he trained Sapp in WCW, so he picks him. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Minnesota Wrecking Crew or RNRX-One of them picks MWC because they're men and RNRX are girls. got em.
Erik Watts. WAY passed the line
Callis. The FINAL word

Well, that was terrible.

Match#5 Chris Sabin vs Frankie Kazarian (Semi-Finals)
On the same level as all their matches thus far. Lots of cool stuff, and lots of Kaz flubbing things and leaving Sabin with his dick in his hand. Sabin takes a NASTY sunset flip powerbomb to the ramp and the back of his head splats off the ramp. Kaz keeps going to the head to cut him off and it's a cool story to tell as it gives Kaz a new opening. They kick out of each other's finishers which feels wasteful as hell. They fight over a victory roll and Sabin sits down on his and gets the win
**3/4

In the back, AMW are mad as hell. Storm says the titles are his life and revenge is coming tonight. Harris says tonight he is honored to be among the very best in TNA, and AMW will stand tall with tradition. Kash and Abyss walk on and shit on tradition and whatnot, and Kash slaps Terry and runs off. Terry is held back by the shitty RSS.

Match#6 Chris Sabin vs Juventud Guerrera (Super X-Cup Finals)
Both men slap each other and act like dicks, so there are no heroes here. Sabin nearly breaks Juvi's neck on a botch backdrop and he's clearly fucked up from it for a while. He guts it out and starts punishing Sabin in revenge. Make sense as Sabin is easier to like, and it's his house so Juvi should work heel. Plus, Sabin rules from working underneath, so all fine reasons. Sabin takes a hell of a beating and his comebacks get closer and closer and the escalation rules. They get into a stupid fucking roll-up exchange, but they end it quick and go insane trying to end it. JUVI DROPS SABIN ON HIS NECK IN A BOTCHED TIGER DRIVER. JESUS CHRIST. Sabin is somehow not dead and keeps fighting. He gets his foot on the ropes after a 450 and slides out of the Juvi Driver and he nails the Future Shock to win it all
***1/4

Piper is still coming back

Next week will be a best of TNA special.

Watts announces that 3LK will be the guest ring announcers, which feels like a way of stacking the deck. Also, all the heel managers are at ringside.


Match#7 AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Shane Douglas & Team Disco. vs Raven, Jeff Jarrett, D-Lo Brown & America's Most Wanted (Wednesday Bloody Wednesday. Erik Watts is the guest referee. Dusty is the gatekeeper.)
Jarrett and Daniels are first in and they have a great fight at ringside after Daniels jumps him coming down the ramp.
They fight in the crowd before getting back in the ring and the match starts.
They have another awesome hate filled fight and use all the weapons to bust each other open.
Callis joins commentary and says while this will be a huge buyrate, he hates that Watts has allowed this to happen.
Daniels uses fucking nunchucks.
AJ Styles is next.
Jeff meets him and beats the piss out of him to try and take him out, but the numbers take over.
AJ breaks a cookie sheet over his head.
Chris Harris is next
Another wonderful babyface showing for him.
AJ/Harris is fucking wonderful, and i can't wait for 06.
AJ/Daniels put Jeff through a table with a doomsday STO
Simon Diamond is next
He sucks mostly, but he has a nice right hand.
Jeff whips everyone with a belt and the crowd boos him.
D-Lo is next
Awesome shit from him as always.
Shane Douglas is next
He brings NOTHING.
D-Lo/Daniels is really fun.
Russo throws in his bat and Shane uses it to bash the faces.
James Storm is next.
He brains everyone with a trash can.
Jeff jumps off the cage with his guitar and kills Daniels with it.
Swinger is next
He also sucks a ton.
Douglas is wandering around hitting people with plunder.
Raven is last.
He's selling his bad knee, which adds a cool wrinkle.
He hits everyone with a baking tray.
Jeff takes a gross bump into the cage,
D-Lo takes one of the other side thanks to AJ.
Daniels/Raven have a killer fight in the corner.
AJ/D-Lo rules again.
The babyfaces finally turn the tide and go insane on everyone with plunda shots.
Raven finally kills Douglas with the EVENFLOW.
D-Lo murders Daniels with the Sky-High.
AJ/Storm is great as well.
AJ CLIMBS UP THE CAGE TO HIT SOMETHING AND JEFF FOLLOWS HIM AND NAILS THE SUPER STROKE OFF IT AND AJ IS DEAD.
Harris and D-Lo climb up opposite sides AND THEY HIT A LEG-DROP/SPLASH COMBO ON AJ, AND JEFF VULTURES THE PIN LIKE A FUCKING COWARD AND THE FACES WIN
***

All the heels, 3LK and the Gathering rush the ring an a massive, and i mean MASSIVE clusterfuck brawl breaks out all over the place. The New Church get in the ring during the chaos and lock the door, and Raven is all alone. They finally cut some of his hair off to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#61
September 17th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Tonight; AJ vs Lynn for the World title. Raven vs Douglas in Hair vs Hair.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs Slash & Sinn w/Father Mitchell. vs Ron Killings & BG James w/Konnan. vs Abyss & Kid Kash (#1 Contenders match)
Don't know how you can put anyone other than AMW in this considering none of the other teams have a winning record or have even had a SINGLE tag match on PPV. Fucking TNA. Kash and Truth do their best to carry a lot of shit and mediocrity. I say them because AMW don't get in until the end. BG gets isolated it's fun watching the heel beat the crap out of him for a while. Abyss gets in and Kash slaps him, AND ABYSS GOES APESHIT AND MURDERS EVERYONE. It breaks down as always and we get a dive train, and Truth has the best one. Terry Taylor runs down during the chaos and low blows Kash in revenge and Truth hits the Lie Detector and the second worst possible option has won.
*

At ringside, DW announces Sonny vs D-Lo in a Casket Match.

Roddy Piper makes his return after that complete horror show last year. He says he knows everyone thinks he's crazy as fuck, but he's just a little unwell. He cuts a weird promo about playing ring toss and how this is as real as it gets. Look, Piper fucking ruled for a long time, but the 90's and beyond ruined the poor guy. He talks about his family thinking he's a junkie because of how insane he is, and i don't get why anyone is allowing Piper to do this. Oh, it's a Russo booked company. Nevermind. Speaking of Russo, he comes down to the ring and grabs the mic, and Piper says he wishes he had killed him last time, and it's hard to tell if he's kidding or not. Russo brings up the last time they were together how Piper blamed him for Owen's death, and how he doesn't have a clue about the truth. He says Piper burnt every bridge in wrestling and he doesn't want him either. He says either TNA picks him or Piper and if they pick Piper, Russo is taking AJ with him.

Hype for D-Lo/Sonny

Match#2 D-Lo Brown vs Sonny Siaki w/Trinity (Casket Match)
The casket is in the ring which is wild as hell, but through some researcher i found out that the first Casket match between Dusty and Ivan Koloff did the same thing. So, it's actually a cool idea to just smack it in the middle of the ring.They use the casket as a weapon which is pretty cool, tbh. D-Lo takes a few ugly bumps into it and Sonny throws it on him a few times, and it's pretty awesome watching someone get crushed with a casket. D-lo gets a flash Sky-High on the casket and Low-Downs him on top of it. He has it won, BUT UMAGA MAKES HIS DEBUT AND MURDERS D-LO WITH HIS EPIC SAMOAN DROP AND BIG SPLASH. They throw him in, and Sonny gets the win.
**3/4

In the back, Callis says it's ridiculous that Lynn has a title shot after everything he's done. Watts walks on and says he makes the matches around here, and then he flips Callis off like a cool 10 year old. Russo walks on and demands to speak to Callis about AJ. They walk off as Watts flips them the bird.

Match#3 Chris Sabin, Michael Shane & Nosawa vs. Frankie Kazarian, Juventud Guerrera & Eric Young
EY makes his debut looking like he has his sanity and that he's not really a big fan of Canadian teams. Really fun spotfest for a few minutes. Juvi/Shane is great and i want a title match asap. The other pairings range from good to bad. Nosawa isn't good at all, but he mostly stays out of the way. Juvi's hot tag is wild as hell as that juice is let loose as only he can be. Big dive train happens, and Sabin tops them all with a stunning summersault. Sabin kills EY with the belt and Shane steals the pin, and on the outside, Kaz misses all of this and doesn't save because he's talking to a blonde at ringside.
**3/4

Recap of the Daniels/Double J feud.

In the back, Daniels has some new followers and says they're the ones who know the truth about metamorphosis, and they need to go and cleanse Jeff in his name.

Double J makes his way out. He calls bullshit on Watts giving every man and his dog a title shot, but none to him and that changes very soon. He tells TNA to pick Piper over Russo because he cares about the NWA. He also promises to hunt Daniels down before the end of the night.

In the back, Mad Mikey is pretty MAD he's teaming with a Shark.

Match#4 Team Disco w/Disco Inferno vs Mad Mikey & Shark Boy
Terrible showcase for these hacks. Amazing and depressing to see how quick TNA killed off the best division they had. Disco is a cancer to all good things in wrestling. Snap Shot does it
1/2*

Backstage, Double J beats the hell out of Daniels new followers. Jeff beats one them around the arena, and Hudson weirdly commentates over it. Jeff throws the kid over the balcony through a table.

Awesome promo video for AJ/Lynn.

Match#5 AJ Styles (c) w/Trinity vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship)
Very kind of TNA to gift Lynn one last great match via his actual greatest opponent. Lynn overwhelms him as soon as the bell ring and beats the holy shit out AJ, and it's the best Lynn has looked in a year. He knows all the tricks and catches AJ trying to launch himself over the rail, so Trinity has to get involved to finally turn the tide. AJ slingshots Lynn into the steps and busts him wide open and he goes insane on the cut. Wonderful control seg as always, and i kinda don't him want to turn face because I'm going to miss this. Loads of gross strikes to Lynn's skull, and the old man sells like death. Lynn gets a wicked northern lights suplex into the corner and AJ fucking dies on it. Awesome comeback from the old man as he shows more fire than he has in a year, and AJ bumps like a crazy man for him. Lynn hit an incredible Ligar Bomb as well. Fuck Yeah, Jerry Lynn. Trinity causes another distraction to let AJ stop the onslaught and he hits a gross brainbustaaaaaaaaaaa. Trinity pulls the ref out and AJ gets a low blow and hits a neckbreaker on a chair, and finally the Styles Clash and he beats Lynn for the first time in a year. Wonderful stuff
***1/2

Post match, Russo comes down to get an answer for his ultimatum. Doing this after AJ puts on another killer match is genius. Dusty Rhodes walks out instead of Callis because he can smell a young face he needs to leech off. He says AJ damn near got his ass kicked, and he needs to watch himself. AJ grabs Russo's bat as Dusty says it's no one's choice if he leaves, but his own. He screams that AJ represents the past and future of the NWA and he fights for them. He says AJ lives and breaths desire to be the best in the world, and not to be a puppet to that asshole Russo. He says when AJ goes to the PAY WINDA, Russo is standing behind him ready to take all his hard work for his own. AJ GIVES DUSTY THE BAT AND SEEMS TO WALK OFF, BUT HE ATTACKS DUSTY FROM BEHIND AND THEY FIGHT. FUCK YEAH. DUSTY BEATS HIS ASS FOR A SECOND BUT AJ GRABS THE TITLE AND DROP HIM AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. Piper tries to help but the Red Shirts drag away to the back, and Russo kicks him in the dick. Jeff Jarrett runs down and AJ and Russo bail. Awesome angle.

Next Week; Team Disco vs 3LK. Kid Kash vs Terry Taylor.

In the back, the red shirts are holding Piper by the hair and Russo and Callis are arguing about the answer. Callis demands they throw Piper out of the Asylum. Fuck yeah. Jarrett storms on and is sad about this, so he tries to beat up Callis but the Red Shirts drag him off.

Recap of Raven being attacked by the mystery man.

Hype for GRUNGE HAIR VS FRANCHISED ASS HAIR.

In the back, Mitchell and Douglas are standing by. James repeats all his points over the last few weeks and takes a shot at the bullshit Nash/Jericho hair vs hair match, and promises Raven will be scalped.

Tenay is hyping the match and screams "ONE OF THEM WILL BE SHAVED BAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD"

Match#6 Raven vs Shane Douglas w/Father James Mitchell (Hair vs Hair)
Raven drags this mope through an Asylum Brawl for a while and it's fine enough, but Jesus it's the most played out thing TNA does. Both men get busted open and Shane looks like a fat drunk trying to vomit as he does some wobbly selling. They get back in the ring and have pretty lame fight with some plunda, and it really fucking hurts to see Raven wasted on this when he's got two years left on this level at most. The bullshit hits and the Church run down and help, and we get a ref bump on top if it. Come on guys, stop it. Raven fights them off and murders Shane with an EVENFLOW through a fucking table and the lights go out, and it's shitty Vampiro with his 100 brain tumours, and dementia, and a broken back he apparently got jumping out a window, and whatever other fake illness he has this week. He hits a terrible DDT and poor Raven has to sell it and Shane wins
*3/4

Post match, Mitchell shaves Raven's head but he has the shaver upside down and legit cuts his head open, and Raven is actually being scalped. So, i guess Mitchell told the truth.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#62
September 24th, 2003
TNA Asylum

In the carpark, Callis is hiding behind Red Shirts as Watts yells at him for kicking Piper out. Callis says he's in charge of everything outside of the ring, and Watts could be next if he isn't careful. PLEASE.

3LK come out and sing their new horrible song. Breaks my heart to see Truth stuck in this horror show. Simon Diamond, Disco and the new addition in David Young run down and beat the fuck out of them for being worse than them for a single moment. Disco says we aren't getting a title shot because they did the damn thing, AND THE GATHERING RUN OUT AND MURDER THEM. Raven cuts a wonderful promo.


Kid Kash storms the ring and says he won't be held responsible for what he does to Terry Taylor tonight.

In the back, Hudson is with Jerry Lynn. Hudson says Watts has giving Lynn another big shot despite being on Callis' hit list. Lynn says Watts has given him a chance to show what he does best, and Callis hating wrestling and favouring sports entertainment is wrong. He ends by metal growling "DESTROYYYYYYYYYYY THE OPPOSITION"

Match#1 Chris Sabin vs Frankie Kazarian vs Nosawa vs Jerry Lynn vs Juventud Guerrera (#1 Contender's Elimination Match)
Another sup fun spotfest that will become the norm until the division get killed by Russo upon his return. Sabin is now a face and Kaz is a heel, so both men are where they belong. Sabin more so because he's SO easy to love as the new Ace of the division.Juvi kills shitty Nosawa with the Juvi Driver to get rid of him. Juvi goes on a wild run for a few minutes and it's the best, Even fucked out of his mind on every drug he can find, Juvi doesn't miss. Sabin debuts the brutal as fuck Cradle Shock to kill Kaz off. Everyone goes nuts from there and all 3 combos are a ton of fun. Lynn and Juvi have the fucking roll-up exchange and Lynn lifts him up and hits the Celtic Cross to get rid of him. Sabin/Lynn is a lot of fun, and it rules to see it come full circle after Sabin turned heel to steal the belt and fucked Lynn over while doing it. Lots of awesome moves and headdrops for a few minutes. The ref gets bumped, and Shane runs down after watching from the stage, and he tries to hit Lynn with the title, but he ducks and Sabin eats it. Lynn gets rid of Shane and kills Sabin with the Cradle for the win
***

Mad Mikey is still spitting Mad. Siaki and Ekmo Fatu (Umaga) jump him and Sharky and leave them dead.

They air a Piper video about TNA picking Russo over him. Don't care.

In the ring, Callis and the Red Shirts are standing by. Callis says Piper has been suspended from the asylum for life, and he did it for the customers. He screams that they need Russo on the show because he's the best. He says Double J is forgetting his place in the food chain and last week he put his hands on a TNA official and he's Fi...sadly Watts and the Black Shirts run down and the BS hit the RSS with chairs. Oh no. Watts says Jeff can have a title match in the next 30 days, but tonight he faces Daniels. He also makes AJ vs Dusty in a Bunkhouse Brawl, Disco/DY/Diamond vs 3LK for the tag titles. Raven and the Gathering vs Douglas and the NC in a 6 man dog collar match. Oh, he also makes Black Shirts vs Red Shirts right now. Fucking kill me.

Match#2 Black Shirt Security (Chris Vaughn & Rick Santel) w/Erik Watts vs Red Shirt Security (Kevin Northcutt & Ryan Wilson) w/Don Callis
Horibbbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. RSS are two giant lugs that do shitty power moves that all look terrible, so of course they'll be a pushed act until early 04. Wilson is also the future Trytan, and holy shit i can't wait to cover that disaster. BSS are two decent dudes, but they can't do shit to save it. Some bullshit hits and Watts chokeslams Northcutt and the faces win
LOLTNA

In the back, Terry Taylor talks about knowing he's over the hill and his time is done, but Kash is a punk who needs to be taught a lesson. He finishes by saying he's bringing some guns of his own.

Taylor's Gun is AMW.

Match#3 Kid Kash w/Abyss vs Terry Taylor w/America's Most Wanted
Taylor schools him to start with his awesome basics (because Terry is another one of the insanely solid wrestlers) and it's always fun watching Kash eat shit. Kash takes over after an eye poke and it's less fun watching him beat up Taylor, but fine enough. Bullshit happens and AMW take out Abyss and Harris kills Kash with his spear to let Taylor steal it.
*3/4

In the back, Russo rants and raves to Watts about making AJ fight Dusty. Watts steals a quote from the Warriors, which is the coolest thing he's ever done


Match#4 Jeff Jarrett vs Christopher Daniels w/Followers
Fight! They beat the shit out of each right from the bell and it's the best Jeff has looked in months, and Daniels shows (what we all know, but you get my point) that he's more than ready to be a top heel of the entire company. His offence looks awesome as he really lays into Jeff with awesome strikes and big stuff from his arsenal. Jeff goes out of his way to die on everything, and it's the nicest thing I'll say about him for a while. His comeback rules as he breaks out the amazing punches and a babyface dropkick. Fuck yeah, Jeff. One of the followers distracts the ref and the other gets in to help, but he gets kicked into the ropes and accidently crotches Daniels!! Jeff gets rid of him and rolls Daniels up to win the feud.
**3/4

Post match, Daniels whips the shit out of the follower with a belt and has an incredible evil smile afterwards.

In the back, Dusty says this is about respect for those who came before us all and for AJ to stand up on his own two feet. There are men who show up to just be a prelim guy, or a guy who makes some money for his family, but AJ is a true main eventer and he needs to show it tonight. He says he is an Icon of the sport that has surpassed legendary status and AJ could be one as well, or he can live in the GUTTAH with Russo if he stays this path. He finishes by saying he's going out to drink some beers with some fat girls. Wonderful stuff.

Match#5 Simon Diamond Disco Inferno & David Young (c) vs 3 Live Kru (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championship)
Tenay finally explains that Swinger's appendix exploded and he needed emergency surgery, so Disco recruited DY to the cause and TNA has agreed to let them defend the titles instead of stipping them. He doesn't explain why it's a 6 man, but TNA is going to TNA, so whatever. This is very bad because DY and Truth can only do so much, and the other 4 are different levels of terrible. Also, Disco vs Konnan was a war crime back in 99, and it sure as fuck didn't improve a few years later. BG's hot tag is incredibly horrible as he botches everything and moves at half a speed below half speed. DY thankfully pounces him in the back of his fucking head and kills him dead with the Spinebuster to win
LOLTNA

IN THE OPEN PADDOCK BEHIND THE ASYLUM, AJ IS PUNCHING THE FUCK OUT OF DUSTY. Dusty fights back and the ref runs on and calls for the bell.

Match#6 AJ Styles w/Vince Russo vs Dusty Rhodes (Bunkhouse Brawl)
They have a dirty fight on the ground and AJ gets on top of him and LAYS in a beating! Dusty has to kick him in the dick just to stop him, and they keep fighting all over the outside. Lots of throwing each other into stuff and it feels like a real dirty fight. They get back into the Asylum and have a mini brawl around the crowd that rules as well. Dusty uses his boot to beat AJ in the face, and Russo throws AJ his, and he goes insane on Dusty's face. They use a belt and AJ get spanked in the middle of the ring. Jeff runs down the match stops. boooooo
**3/4

Jeff grabs Trinity and spank her before AJ gets her free. The faces celebrate together.

Next week. Shane vs Lynn for the title. Kash/Abyss vs AMW.

AJ runs back to ringside and calls Tenay a SUGERTIT. HE HAS NEVER BEEN MORE EMBARRASSED IN HIS LIFE. HE'S NOT COOL WITH SPANKING AND HE DESERVES RESPECT. HE EARNS HIS RESPECT AND NEXT WEEK HE WANTS TO INVITE DUSTY TO HIS HOUSE FOR A TITLE SHOT. BRING IT ON, OLD MAN. FUCK YEAH. Russo walks on and says it's not happening. ZIP IT. AJ says he's doing it, but Russo says they'll have a tag match instead and earn the respect that way. AJ agrees.

Recap of Raven being scalped.

In the back, Mitchell is very happy about having scalped Raven on live TV.

Match#7 Raven & The Gathering vs Shane Douglas, Slash & Sinn (6 Man Dog Collar Match)
Massive bloody clusterfuck brawl. One of those that's very hard to cover because there's so much shit happening, but well worth watching because these are always fun. Shane and Sinn suck bags of shit, but the other 4 are the best and kill and die in crazy amazing ways. The babyfaces do the ten punches in the corners with the chains in a super cool moment, and i fucking love Raven leading a face stable. The camera fucks up and misses the finish as all we see is Sinn getting his hand raised
**1/2

Post match, Vampiro sadly shows back up and throws some terrible offence. The dogshit heel group murder the faces and drag them into the crowd, and hang them from the balcony. FUCK YEAH MURDER.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#63
October 1st, 2003
TNA Asylum

Recap of MURDER kicks us off.

Tonight. AJ/Russo vs Jarrett/Dusty,

In the carpark, Russo says there won't be a match tonight because he's breaking bed with Jarrett tonight.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs Kid Kash & Abyss
The sound file is fucked up and the commentary is hard to hear, and i want to thank God. AMW finally get a real team for the first time in months and it's super fun. Awesome story as AMW can handle Kash given a chance, but Abyss is tough as shit and seemingly can't be stopped, THAT IS UNTIL HARRIS RUSHES HIM AND GOES INSANE IN THE CORNER WITH PUNCHES AND KICKS AND THE BIG MAN FINALLY DROPS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TNA! The key is AMW throwing everything at him to keep him off balance, but Abyss isn't going to make that shit easy. Kash slaps him to get him angry and murders Harris with a massive Gorilla Press to isolate him. Sadly, Kash's control looks like fucking shit and he botches a ton during it, and then botches Harris' comeback by landing on his knees for a monkey flip. Shit breaks down and everyone goes nuts as always. Abyss takes a hurricanrana off the top rope and really bumps his ass off for AMW. Kash sneaks in and throws a chair a Storm's skull and Abyss kills him with the BHS for the win
**3/4

Post match, Terry Taylor comes down to the ring to tell the ref what happened, like a real snitch. He fights them both and does ok for a moment before Kash chop blocks him and beats his ass. Harris makes the save with a chair and the heels bail.

At ringside, Tenay announces AJ/Jeff for the world title in 3 weeks. FUCK

Don Callis and the Red Shirts walk on and say there will be payback for last week, and there be a lot of sorry people.

In the back, Michael Shane says HBK has never done what he has done, and everyone needs to remember that. In fact, Shawn will be known as HIS cousin from now on.

Match#2 Michael Shane (c) vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Any fire these dudes had over the last few weeks is gone as they have a boring back and forth, instead of killing each other for the title. Sabin walks down and joins commentary calling bullshit on not getting a title shot despite winning the Super X-Cup. He then says he'll put the trophy on the line for the title next week! The boring match continues and there's really nothing to say because there's nothing really happening. Lynn is about to come off the top but Sabin shoves him off into a superkick from Shane and it's over
*1/2

In the back, Mad Mikey is about to become MAD, but D-Lo walks in and offers to help Mikey and Sharky if they need a hand against Sonny. Callis walks on says D-Lo will see Red (shirts) if he tries anything. Oh, don't stick D-Lo in this.

Daniels comes out for his match and one of his followers is Spyder Nate Webb. Fuck yeah, Teenage Dirtbag

Match#3 D-Lo Brown vs Christopher Daniels w/Followers
Fun heel/Face match for a few minutes. Not much story or anything, but we get two great wrestlers doing their thing for a while and that's never a bad thing. D-Lo misses a dive off the top and eats the fucking rail and Daniels beats the hell out the ribs. Awesome work from Daniels on the ribs and D-Lo's selling is very good. Callis and the RSS come out to watch, and our worst fears are coming true. Brown's comeback is short but good stuff to make up for it. He jumps on the followers to take them out, but the RSS distract him and Daniels throws him off the top and hits Last Rites to win
**3/4

In the back, Watts and one of the Black Shirts with his arm in a sling are standing by. Watts says he separated his shoulder and Callis and TNA need to pay for it. LMAO. Callis walks on and says that sounds like health insurance AND THERE IS NO HEALTH INSURANCE IN PRO WRESTLING. THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY AND HE TOOK THE RISK BY GETTING IN THE RING AND HE BEARS NO RESPONSIBILITY. WATTS BOOKED IT, SO HE CAN PAY FOR IT. Amazing.

We see AJ and Jeff getting ready for the main event. Bold choice to do that for a tag match and not in 3 weeks.

Match#4 Ekmo Fatu & Sonny Siaki w/Trinity vs Shark Boy & Mad Mikey
Super fun squash for Umaga and the idiot. So many gross slams and insane athleticism for a man THAT big. Goddamn freak of nature. Big Splash does it
**1/2

Post match, they keep beating them down and D-Lo makes the save! Awesome fight with Ekmo and he drops the big man with a gross punch to the dome. He catches Trinity trying to low blow him and he kills her with Sky High. Red Shirts and Callis run down and tackle him, and Callis gets them to handcuff him and drag him out of the building. Can't say he didn't warn him. Black Shirts try to help and they get thrown out as well.

This week, Tenay interviews Team Disco but the audio is legit ruined, so i can't cover it.

In the back, Dusty cuts another promo about trying to save AJ. He keeps talking about how he's an Icon and he needs to teach AJ the lesson, and you can see Jeff getting pissed off. Hmmm.

Match#5 The Sandman vs David Young
Tenay says this is DY's tryout for Team Disco which makes no sense after last week, but that's TNA for you. DY attacks Sandman on the floor and they have a really fun sprint. Sandman quickly turns the tide and beats the fuck out of poor DY, and it's the best. He breaks out a cannon ball in the corner and a bunch other drunk wild shit for a while. DY gets some token offence and hits a gross T-Bone into the corner and drops Sandman on his neck. It doesn't kill him of course, and Sandman come back and wins with the Rollin Rock.
**3/4

Post match, the rest of Team Disco lay Sandman out with a chair. They clap for DY and raise his hand, but baw gawd Simon hits him with a chair for being a loser. 3LK run down for the save and to continue to terrible feud.

Russo storms Jeff's locker room and says Dusty only cares about Dusty and getting a title shot, and Jeff needs to see the truth and join him. Jeff tells him to piss off before he hits him with the guitar.

Father Mitchell and his terrible fucking faction come out for some promo time. He declares the Gathering dead (well, you did hang them, dude) and thanks shitty Shane for all his help. He shakes his hand and i think this is the end of Shane in the Church for a while. Mitchell says the next plan is as dark as it gets. Be afraid. Be VERY Afraid.

Match#6 Vampiro, Slash & Sinn w/Father James Mitchell vs 3 Live Kru
Shane Joins commentary to make this nightmare even worse. He says he's looking for the next top star to take under his wing. Oh. no. This is truly disgusting and vile, and i want to die. Konann/Vamp isn't horrible because they hate each other and throw live rounds. Sadly, they don't kill each other for real, but I'll take it. Vamp gets DQ for hitting Truth with a cane.
Vampiro's brain

RAVEN MAKES HIS RETURN WITH THE CHAIN STILL AROUND HIS NECK, SO ONE WOULD ASSUME HE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD. He kills the Church and finally gets his hands on Mitchell, but Douglas makes the save. Raven thankfully fights him and gets rid of him and the heels bail. Raven gets on the mic and says he has nothing left to lose and he's taking out every member of the Church before he kills Mitchell.

Next week. AMW vs Abyss/Kash with Taylor as the guest ref. Shane vs Sabin for the title. D-lo teams with a Black Shirt to fight the Red Shirts.

Match#7 AJ Styles & Vince Russo w/Trinity vs Jeff Jarrett & Dusty Rhodes
AJ is set with a massive task of carrying this for 2 people, but he's AJ and he doesn't miss. He has some amazing stooging for Dusty before he finally fights Jeff again. Awesome stuff as always, and this time they add new counters as the old stuff is well scouted. AJ breaks out a new trick with a wonderful springboard dropkick, and Jeff counters the Stylin DDT with a gross German that AJ lands on his face for. Dusty owns him for a bit, but AJ chop blocks him and hits his knee with a baseball bat. AJ has another super mean control seg and Dusty's selling is still as great as it's always been. Jeff has a fun hot tag with the punches and a massive backdrop, and then it breaks down. Jeff takes out Trinity with a powebomb and then steals the bat and beats the shit out of AJ and Russo, and that isn't a DQ. HE KNOCKS AJ OUT WITH IT AND DUSTY STEALS THE PIN WITH AN ELBOW. GOD FUCK YOU
**1/2

AJ throws a fit at ringside and challenges Dusty to a match next week, and he lets Dusty pick the stip so they can finally end it. Russo tries to stop him, AND AJ SLAPS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. FUCK YEAH, AJ. HE SAYS HE DOESN'T OWN HIM AND THIS IS BETWEEN HIM AND DUSTY. Dusty picks his stipulation,,,A TITLE MATCH. Jeff loses his shit and starts yelling at Dusty for stealing his chance and Dusty shoves him back!!! Ref's keep them apart to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#64
October 8th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Tonight. Abyss/Kash vs AMW with Taylor as the ref. Shane vs Sabin in title vs cup. AJ Styles vs Dusty Rhodes for the world title.

Jeff Jarrett storms the ring and demands Dusty come out so they can talk about this man to man. He's PISSED OFF after last week when Dusty robbed him of the title shot. Dusty comes out to the stage and Jeff says this has been happening for a year and realises the truth, Dusty is the same as everything icon tying to steal from the young. He's no different from Bret, Piper, Savage and Hogan (this is setting up a match that never happens, but we'll get there) old men who'd cut their mothers throat for the title. He tells Dusty to shut up and says he knows Dusty has been telling anyone who would listen this is his shot, and he's going to shock the world. Well, whatever happens tonight, Jeff is getting his title shot in two weeks and he's winning. He storm off and Dusty is mad.

In the back, Hudson is with AJ and Trinity. AJ says he hasn't heard from Russo in a week and he wants answers! Ekmo and Sonny walk on and say they're here to step up for AJ. Nah, fuck that. Give me AJ vs Umaga.

Match#1 Red Shirt Security w/Don Callis vs D-Lo Brown & Chris Vaughn
What a criminal waste of D-Lo. This horrible because the RSS suck shit, Vaughn is a young kid and D-Lo never gets in. Wilson botches a powerbomb and drops Vaughn on his neck in a really scary moment. Might explain why he's off TV for two years. Or, why he shouldn't be on TV currently. D-Lo is taken out and Northcutt hits a terrible looking Jay Driller on the kid to win
LOLTNA

Post match, the shirts beat up D-Lo until Watts runs down and makes the save.

In a pre-tape, Dusty cuts a great promo about how much winning the title meant to him, and how one last run is his final wish in wrestling.

We see footage of Jerry Lynn throwing a fit because of the death of classic metal in favour of Metalcore.

Match#2 Michael Shane (c) vs Chris Sabin (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship vs Super-X Cup)
Babyface Sabin is a way better fit vs Shane as he can display all his amazing fire and selling. He takes a gross bump to the floor after getting thrown over the top rope, and he gives Shane his best control seg yet. His first real babyface comeback rules as well, and this is really his coming out party as one of the best faces TNA will ever have. Finishing run is pretty fun, but a lot of a bullshit hampers it, sadly. Ref distractions, title shots, missed falls, the normal stuff. They get into a fucking roll-up battle and Shane steals it with the tights.
**3/4

In the back, Team Disco are with Hudson. They're fighting 3LK in an elimination match because life is pain. DY storms on pissed off about being hit with a chair. Disco says that's what boys do and he's super close to being a full member. DY is very dumb and believes them and they walk off together.

Match#3 Disco Inferno & Team Disco vs 3 Live Kru (Elimination Match)
This is nearly 11 minutes, and it's as bad as you think. Truth is the only person in this who is actually good or gives a shit, and he can't save something this long and bad with these goons involved. Konna is out first after Team Disco kinda just drop him on his shitty face. Swinger is next after the Pumphandle from BG. BG is gone after a Chartbuster/Superkick. Truth is alone and does his best against them to make it not suck complete shit. He gets rid of Simon with the Lie Detector, and sadly Disco is the last one in. A true battle of skill levels on both spectrums. DY comes out and hits Truth with a chair and Disco steals it.
*1/2

Post match, DY fights truth, but 3LK make the save and Disco leaves him high and dry.

In the back, Mitchell says after the months of murder and scalping, he figured that Raven would be done with this. The Church will never die and tonight Sinn takes him out. Slash throws darts into Sinn's back to show how tough he is.

Match#4 Christopher Daniels w/Followers vs Frankie Kazarian
Heel vs heel. Kaz is now wearing Biker Taker like tights and he looks like a tool. Daniels mostly beats his ass and that's the better choice as it makes sense in kayfabe. We get a spilt screen of Team AJ is the car park waiting for Russo to show up. Kaz takes fun beating for a while and his comeback is pretty fun. Spyder Webb trips him up and Daniels hits Last Rites to steal it
**3/4

In Raven's lair, Raven does his thing. He says Sinn's pain threshold won't mean anything if he's out cold. He asks Punk and Julio to stay out of it as this is his battle. He leaves and Punker says they're watching his back.

Match#5 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Kid Kash & Abyss (Terry Taylor is the guest referee)
Shit breaks down right away and we get a big clusterfuck fight and Abyss nukes them both like last week, and Kash picks his shots because he's a bastard man. Storm gets isolated and that's fun again. Abyss is slowly looking better every week, and all he needs now is a Phenomenal opponent for it to come together. Kash misses a moonsault off Abyss' shoulders and Harris gets the hot tag and goes insane as only he can. He drops Abyss again with a flurry of offence and it's amazing watching become the man before our eyes. I'm sure TNA won't fuck it up and job him out to 2007 Dustin Rhodes. Shit breaks down again and Taylor favours AMW and keeps fucking Kash over, so he fairly kicks him in the face for this bullshit. Kash brings in a chair and brings back throwing it super fucking hard at people's heads. He kills Storm with one, but Harris catches the other and Storm superkicks into his shitty face to win
**3/4

Post math, Kash blames Abyss for losing and keeps slapping him, AND ABYSS FINALLY SNAPS AND MURDERS THIS BASTARD. FUCK YEAH, ABYSS.

In the back, Callis (with a terrible new haircut) rants about running TNA as a business and how he needs to replace all the dead weight.

In a pre-tape. Shane Douglas says he's going to find a new Franchise. He says he made the SHOOT PROMO famous, like that's a fucking badge of honour and not one of the worst things to ever happen to pro wrestling. Dumb asshole.

Match#6 Raven vs Sinn w/Father James Mitchell
Raven squashes one of the worst wrestlers ever in a cathartic beating. Raven beats his shitty head in with a chain and busts him open and covers his face in the blood. Raven keeps obliterating him with amazing babyface offence. He even does a running bulldog this week. EVENFLOW does the job.
**3/4

Post match, Raven throws him over the top rope with the chain around his neck and tries to rid the world of a monster, but sadly Slash saves. He has an awesome fight with Raven and and they beat each other with a chain. Raven takes him out, but shitty Vampiro attacks from behind and hits his awful DDT to lay Raven out. Vamp drags him back to the spot where he killed him ls time, and Slash hangs him until the Gathering make the save.

In the back, AJ hyped up Team AJ, and a drunk Vince Russo comes on and cries that this is about the belt and he needs to humiliate an old man. What the fuck.

Hype for AJ/Dusty. This is basically them ripping off Rock V, which is insane because it's the worst film in the series, but you do you, TNA.

Match#7 AJ Styles (c) w/Vince Russo & Trinity vs Dusty Rhodes (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship)
AJ does everything in his power to make this work, because while Dusty can still throw an elbow, he's a very old man who can't hang, so AJ does what it needed to make it work. They have the Asylum Brawl and AJ carries it with his incredible bumping and offence, He busts Dusty open with punches above him his eye and it feels like they were live rounds as the cut is RIGHT on the eye.

He beats the shit out of him with wild right hands and Dusty is died. His selling of the blood loss and beating is incredible and AJ's control work is again, so fucking good. Insane to think anyone thinks he clicked as a heel in 2014 when he was doing this shit 9 years before just as well. He pounds Dusty into the dust for a while and looks to end it with the 450, but Dusty moves and AJ eats a lot of shit. Awesome comeback for Dusty with all the classic offence, and AJ dying on everything. He locks in the Figure Four and AJ throws the ref out to save himself from it. His knee is selling rules as he hobbles to get Russo's bat and hits Dusty in the knee with it. He has to wait for feeling to come back into it before he can lock in a Figure Four of his own to make Dusty pass out.
***

Post match, Drunk Russo says Dusty humiliated his champion and now it's payback time. He wants to wipe Dusty's ass and he demands AJ pull his pants down. DUDE. AJ beats him for a while and some black shirts try to help but they get beaten too. Ekmo and Sonny run to help beat Dusty up and AMW make the save!!! Awesome fight with Ekmo breaks out before AJ hits them with the baseball bat. Russo gets back in and demands they take his pants off, but Jeff shows up with a chair AND HE MAKES THE SAVE. YOU WILL LOVE THIS MAN. Ekmo takes a gross unprotected shot to the skull. Russo gets on the mic and says Jeff isn't getting his shot. Dusty crawls back up and says he's paying Jeff back for his help by taking out Russo. He challenges Ekmo, Sonny and Russo to a 6 man.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#65
October 15th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Another really well done recap of last week kicks us off.

TONIGHT. SHANE VS DANIELS FOR THE X-DIVISION TITLE. KASH VS ABYSS. RAVEN VS SLASH.

At ringside, Tenay talks about HULK HOGAN making his return to Japan for the first time in a decade only to be attacked by Jarrett (still a face at this point, btw) and how this will have major ramifications for NWA-TNA. Spoiler...it doesn't

"Jeff Jarrett attacked Hulk Hogan at a press conference in Japan in October. This was supposed to lead to TNA's first ever $30 supercard PPV that had the main event of Jarrett vs. Hogan. Jarrett was supposed to go over and Hogan suddenly had mysterious "pains". The whole thing turned out to be meaningless as Hogan would not wrestle for TNA and eventually re-signed with WWE. Hogan went on to never appear in a TNA ring until 2010.

Over the next month or so TNA will bring in Jimmy Hart to kick off the feud that's meant to lead to TNA Bound For Glory, but Hogan found out Russo is working for TNA (he's suing him for what happened at WCW Bash at the Beach 2000) and demanded he be removed from TNA or else he wasn't coming in. Russo was removed as requested, but Hogan then found out that Jeff was planning to go over and "suddenly" needed knee surgery and the angle and PPV was killed.

I'd say LOLTNA, but this feels more like a classic case of trying to get Hogan to not be piece of shit for once, and he pulled the classic "doesn't work for me, brother" Sadly, i will have to cover the nonsense with Jimmy Hart, but it doesn't last long once the truth comes out.

In the carpark, Raven has himself and Mitchell attached to the chain!!! Raven drags him to the murder site and tries to kill him, but Vamp and Slash attack him and beat his ass, SLASH HITS AN ELBOW DROP OFF THE BALCONY TO SEND RAVEN THROUGH A TABLE. FUCK YEAH. Punker and Julio make the save again and a big brawl breaks out. They fight in the ring until refs and black shirts breaks it up.

In the back, Hudson is with Team Styles. Russo says he won't be in the six man and Legend will be taking his place. Fuck! Russo says he has other business to attend to, and he wants them to leave him be.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted & Dusty Rhodes vs Ekmo Fatu, Sonny Siaki & Legend
Not sure if Legend is an upgrade from Russo, tbh. Also, that heel side is atrocious as hell. Ekmo at least gets time to shine against the faces and you can see how amazing he already is, and eventually will be by 2006. Harris is isolated and Ekmo mauls him in brutal fashion, and Legend then ruins it with his terrible offence. Dusty gets the hot tag and the fight with the big man is wonderful. It breaks down as it always seems to do and Legend is beaten with the Death Sentence.
**

Another horrible Shane Douglas video airs.

In the back, Hudson is with Shane and his new trophy. He is sad because he has to fight Daniels tonight, instead of being celebrated for being the best in the world.

Match#2 Michael Shane (c) vs Christopher Daniels w/Followers (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
DW rants about Shane's ego taking over his life and how Daniels will make mincemeat of him if Shane isn't on his game tonight. The Best! Daniels beats Shane's ass right off the bat and schools the punk kid every chance he gets. Shane Douglas is seen watching from the balcony with a clipboard. Daniels not only beat his ass on the ground, but he uses his high flying to knock him around as well. Shane pokes him in the eye and throws him the post to finally stop him, and we get a fun little control seg. Nothing amazing, but super basics with some great selling thrown in. Daniels' babyface comeback rules as he's another secrete great babyface in the body of a heel. Very fun finishing run with a lot of close calls and a hot crowd on top of it. Shane sneaks in a low blow and tries to the get the belt, but Spyder Webb takes it off him and stands on the apron to try and hit Shane, but he manages to send Daniels into it and he hits a Superkick to steal it
**3/4

Post match, Shane beats up the Followers until Sabin runs down and fights him off. Shane runs for it as the crowd is now 100& behind Sabin. Daniels gets in Sabin's face for getting involved his business, but they don't fight as the camera cuts away.

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2003 IS COMING NOVEMBER 30TH

In the ring, Tenay brings out Jarrett to talk about his title match next week and that other thing that means nothing. Jeff says it was Russo who beat him for the title (way to shit on AJ, you fucking dick) and he's earned another chance at the title despite Dusty trying to steal it from him. He says Dusty's actions taught him to be a self serving son of a bitch looking out for himself and that's what he's going to be from now on. LMAO. He says he took TNA to Hogan to prove he's truly the man. He calls TNA a rocket ship ready to explode and he won't let Hogan steal his spot. Tenay tries to bring up BATB 2000 and Jeff shuts that shit down quick. Russo runs out from the crowd and attacks Jeff AND HE GETS THE BEST OF HIM FOR A GOOD WHILE. LMAO WHAT THE FUCK. HE FULL ON BEATS HIS ASS WITH A CHAIR AND KEEPS TACKLING HIM INTO THINGS AND JEFF IS NOW SELLING AN ATTACK FROM RUSSO. RUSSO THROWS HIM HEADFIRST INTO A TABLE AND JEFF IS DIED. Jeff finally fights back but it's too fucking late, you idiots. He beats him with a chair and trash can over and over again to kill him off to appease Hogan. Ekmo and Siaki make the save and Jeff walks off as Russo's dead body is looked after. AJ finally shows up and stands in the ring and pouts like a kid to close this trash. Of course, as we talked about, none of that matters because Hogan isn't coming in, but at least Russo is finally fucking gone.

In the back, Red Shirts cut a terrible, and i mean terrible promo.

Match#3 Erik Watts vs Kevin Northcutt w/Ryan Wilson
OH MY GOD, HORRIBLE. Northcutt is blown up 30 seconds in and can't bump correctly or safely and Watts is forced to lead a match, and what a fucking thing to happen in our lifetimes. Northcutt's control seg is out of this world bad and Watts also can't bump or sell, so it's even worse than one might think. Northcutt uses a loaded fist to win
L O L T N A

Post match, they beat him up some more and kill some black shirts on top of it. AND ZEO NAZI DON HARRIS MAKES THE SAVE WEARING A BLACK SHIRT. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANT TO DIE. Goldy shows back up after two months to check on Watts, and she yells at Harris for some reason.

Match#4 Eric Young & Sonjay Dutt vs EL Fuego & Jerelle Clark
TNA mainstay making his debut in the playa from the Himalaya. Not a great wrestler or anything, but a fun dude nonetheless. In saying that, this is a fun X-Division sprint with a million cool moves and some fun dives. JC is the real standout, which isn't shocking if you've seen him in ROH. He has a wonderful 450 on top of some killer strikes and it's a crime he never went further. Sonjay wins with the Hindu Press aka the Phoenix Splash
**3/4

In the back, Kash calls himself the notorious K.I.D. He beats women and legends, and now he beats giants. Northcutt walks over and says Callis wants to tell him something, but Kash blows him off and walks away.

Match#5 Team Disco w/Disco Inferno vs Roadkill & Danny Doring
THE ANGRY AMISH WARRIOR. FUCK YEAH. He's still amazing and carries the dweeb on his shoulder as always. Team Disco suck shit, but Roadkill drags them through it. AMW come out to watch from the stage. Control on Doring is fine enough, but the big man's hot tag is the best part. Shit breaks down and AMW cut off Disco and Doring rolls up Swinger to pin the champs
**

In Raven's lair, Hudson says we will now see Punk and Julio vs Slash and Vamp, thus robbing me of a fun match. Raven thanks the Gathering for their help, but MUST do this by himself.

Hype for Abyss/Kash.

Match#6 Abyss vs Kid Kash
Kash immediately tries his bullshit and Abyss ends his shitty life in amazing fashion. So many gross bumps for Kash and it's the best Abyss has looked in a singles match yet. He murders him at every turn, so Kash "accidently" bumps the ref AND HE HITS 3 UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOTS TO THE FACE AND ABYSS SOMEHOW KICKS OUT. He gets back up and ends Kash with the BHS for the win
**3/4

Post match, Kash throws powder in Abyss eyes and kicks him in the dick and beats him down with a chair shot. The Red Shirts come out and watch from the stage, and Abyss fights back and hits Kash with the Shock Treatment.

In the back, Team Disco is mad and challenges Roadkill and Doring to a title match next week.

Match#7 The Gathering vs Vampiro & Slash w/Father James Mitchell
SLASH DOES A DIVE TO JULIO AND HE REVERSES INTO A POWERSLAM ON THE RAMP AND SHIT IS ON. Big grimey fight at ringside with everyone bar Vamp looking good, but that's to be expected. Punk gets shoved off the top into the guardrail and he's busted open. Awesome work on the cut from Slash, and Punker's selling is very good. Julio's hot tag goes alright thanks to Slash actually bumping for things. Mitchell distracts the ref and Vamp spits something into Julio's eyes and hits the Nail in the Coffin to win
**3/4

Raven runs down and fights them for his honour and for his kids. He chases after Mitchell and finally punches the fuck out of him before Vamp and Slash tackle him and they fight offscreen.

NEXT WEEK. MORE INFO ABOUT TNA BOUND FOR GLORY WITH NJPW AND AAA WRESTLERS BEING INVOVLED. LOL. AJ STYLES VS JEFF JARRETT FOR THE NWA WORLDS TITLE. RAVEN VS SLASH. SHANE VS SABIN VS DANIELS FOR THE X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP. TEAM DISCO VS ROADKILL/DORING FOR THE TAG TITLES.

Jimmy Hart calls in and says Hogan has a message for Jarrett. He might have snuck up on him once and gave him 35 stitches', but he didn't finish the job and the Hulkster is coming for him in 2010.

Jarrett now storms the ring and says Hogan will get his when the time is right, but AJ is next. Hogan, Russo and Dusty can't stop him from walking out as the champion, AND AJ RUSHES THE RING AND AN AWESOME FIGHT BREAKS OUT. Tons of wrestlers get in the middle to break it up and they keep getting loose and punching the shit out of each other. Dusty walks out and watches on as the fight continues to close the show.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: AJ STYLES. Since-11/6/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#66
October 22nd, 2003
TNA Asylum

Tonight; AJ vs Jarrett for the World title. Shane vs Sabin vs Daniels for the X title. Team Disco vs Roadkill/Doring for the Tag titles. Raven vs Slash.

Match#1 Ekmo Fatu, Sonny Siaki & Legend w/Trinity vs 3 Live Kru
Booooooooooo Just run Ekmo vs Truth, you cowards. The little time they get is very fun and well worth seeing, but the rest of this is terrible. Some stuff happens and Trinity accidently dropkicks Sonny and BG beats him with the Pumphandle.
1/2*

In the back, Hudson talks to Jarrett about his actions last week against Russo. Jeff says he finally took him out and no one is going to stand in his way, and on cue Dusty walks on and says Jeff has planted a seed for NWA-TNA by attacking Hogan, and he's got his back tonight. Jeff says he's watching his back and anyone who comes near ringside. Dusty brings up Jeff calling him a self serving S.O.B, and it takes one to know one. GOT EM

Recap of Abyss/Kash.

Match#2 Kid Kash vs Sonjay Dutt
TNA is now dubbing him "The Notorious K.I.D" and we won't be using that. This is a fun Kash showcase though, as he's more at home with an X dude, and Sonjay takes a great beating and has some awesome dives to add to it. Super Moneymaker does it
**1/2

Post match, he keeps beating him up until Abyss makes the save. Kash runs for it and Abyss murders Dutt for hugging him.

In the back, Siaki and the other heels try to get into AJ's locker room to see him, but he won't open the door for these losers.

Match#3 Team Disco (c) w/Disco Inferno vs Roadkill & Danny Doring (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Same stuff as last week where everyone bar Roadkill looks like shit, and he does his best to save it. His hot tag is fine enough, but TD refusing to bump or sell really hurts it. DY comes out and throws Swinger a title belt and he kills Roadkill with it, but he kicks out and renders it pointless. Team Disco botch the Snapshot to win.
3/4*

Shane Douglas says next week we will meet the New Franchise.

Match#4 Michael Shane (c) vs Christopher Daniels vs Chris Sabin (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Shane is watching from the balcony again with his clipboard. No suit though, so he's not even being the fucking part. All 3 go nuts from the start, and we get the story of Daniels and Sabin wanting the other out of the way so they can kill Shane, and he uses that to stay alive. Sabin''s the standout again as the firey babyface against these two, and Daniels rules as the vet breaking out old tricks to stay in it. They do the tower of doom suplex and life gets a little worse. It breaks down from there as everyone ramps it up trying to end it. Daniels is taken out after the Cradle Shock, and Shane thrown the ref into Sabin to cut him off and hits a superkick to steal it.
**34

In the back, Mitchell and Slash are standing by. Mitchell is sick and tired of worrying about Raven trying to kill him, when this is all Raven's fault. He alludes to SOMETHING in the past, but never tells us what it is. He says he hold the key to Raven's soul.

In the ring, Tenay says he promised to talk about the rumours of TNA Bound For Glory and the debut of Hulk Hogan, and he's bringing out Jimmy Hart to talk about it. TNA straight up uses Hogan's WCW theme for Jimmy, and it's pretty awesome to hear it again. He talks about Hogan for a while and says he's signed a contract with TNA.....BUT he's "injured" his knee and will need surgery and the PPV will need to be rescheduled (to say, 2005) Actually willing to give TNA credit for having Jimmy come out and explain it's not happening instead of baiting and switching. Although, TNA running a PPV with the lie of Hogan in the main event would have been peak LOLTNA, so I'm a little sad it never happened. Jeff eventually comes out after Jimmy demands to know why he laid down at BATB, and Jeff yells at him for bringing it up. Jeff gets in the ring and says he knows everyone wants to know why, and Jimmy can tell Hogan this, and baw gawd he beats up Jimmy. He ties him to the ropes and beats his back with a belt and you can hear the crowd die a death now they know the truth. AJ runs down to make the save and Jeff runs for it.

In the back, Disco sends Team Disco off to get a happy ending, and he then brings in The Naturals to debut against AMW. Fuck yeah, love the Nats.

Match#5 Raven vs Slash w/Father James Mitchell (Dog Collar Match)
Fuck Yeah. They have an awesome brawl and Slash gets busted open with the chain and bleeds like a stuck pig! Mitchell hits Raven with a cane and Slash's control is very fun as always. He hangs Raven and busts him open in revenge. Raven's comeback rules as he wraps the chain around the post and slams the back of Slash's head into it over and over and his neck whiplashes in gross fashion. Raven spins out of a Lariat and hits the EVENFLOW to win.
**3/4

Raven throws him over the top rope and hangs him until he passes out. He finally gets a hold of Mitchell and chokes him out until Vamp makes the save. He has a terrible fight with Raven and spits mist in his eye and throws some amazingly bad strikes before the Gathering make the save. Raven yells at them for saving him and walks away.

In the back, Callis is with the Red Shirts. He says the PPV will happen as soon as Hogan is healthy. (lol) He says Piper is gone and everyone needs to accept it. He announces D-Lo's return AND HE HAS A D-LO BOBBLE HEAD. AMAZING.

Match#6 America's Most Wanted vs The Naturals (Andy Douglas & Chase Stevens) w/Disco Inferno
Nats are a pair of young kids who have a ton of potential as the next few years so, but they make it to where everyone thought they'd be. Still, they rule a ton against AMW and this is no different, and it won't be everytime TNA goes back to this feud. Nats attack them on the stage and a massive fight breaks out at ringside, and it's fucking great. Storm gets isolated and the Nats lay a great beating on top of being little shits you want to see die. They throw him on the concrete to really fuck him up and his selling is killer. His comeback rules and Harris once again as the best hot tag in the company. Very fun finishing run happens and the Nats fit right in with AMW's style. Chase uses a chain on Storm, but he kicks out! They cut off Harris and beat him with the Warrior/Rude finish, but that cock Watts restarts the match. A ton of bullshit hits and Harris beats Chase with a crossbody off the top.
**3/4

Post match, Watts fights them all like a big hero, but the Red Shirts attack him from behind. They beat him down until the Nazi makes the save. FML.

At ringside, DW is hyping things when Raven walks over and grabs the mic. He talks about the famous Piper/Hammer dog collar match and how they put it on the map, and he's going to change that map. A DREAM BLOOD GALLOWS OF RETRIBUTION MATCH. First person to choke their opponent out cold with the chain wins.

In the back, AJ Styles is standing by. Hudson says AJ hasn't seen Russo in a week and AJ says this isn't his fault or problem. He warned him and he didn't listen. Tonight he shows everyone why he's PHENOMENAL. Sonny and co walk over and say they've got his back, and AJ tells them to stay out of his way and he walks off alone.

Jeff Jarrett comes out and grabs a bunch of chairs during his intro and won't let AJ in the ring. Callis runs down and tries to talk to him and AJ gets a chair over his own, and Watts talks to him. Both men get the wrestlers to put the chairs down before the bell rings. Both Watts and Callis stay at ringside. TNA is actually setting this double turn up perfectly. Kudos.

Match#7 AJ Styles (c) vs Jeff Jarrett (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship)
AJ out wrestles Jeff right from the start to show he's truly the man and any notion he needs anyone is bullshit. AJ throws Jeff into the crowd AND HE HITS AN RVD LIKE DIVE OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OVER THE GUARDRAIL TO TAKE OUT HIM OUT. FUCK YEAH AJ. He tries a springboard back inside and Jeff shoves him off and lands ribs first on the ropes, and Jeff takes over. AJ takes some nasty bumps and Jeff's control is very good as he targets the ribs and uses his old school offence to work on them. Punches, Kicks and knees. All basic, but brutal as hell, We get shots of all the wrestlers watching from the crowd in a really cool moment to sell how big this is. AJ's comeback is wonderful as he gets to show off his babyface fire for the first time in months and against Jeff, it looks even better. AJ mistimes the Stylin DDT as he lands on Jeff's shoulder, so he hits a German instead, and it's a pretty good looking one for something on the fly. They fight on top and Jeff hits a fucking super Ace-Crusher and AJ lands face first. Jeff locks in the Figure Four and the bullshit hits as Dusty fights off Siaki and Watts helps him and they fight to the back. This allows Jeff to get a chair and he brains AJ with it! Oh, fuck. He does a stupid little double fist and AJ kicks out of it. AJ low blows him and tries to hit a leg-drop on the chair, but he misses and Jeff hits the fucking stroke on it, and AJ kicks out again! He gets the title and clobbers AJ with it and throws the title into Watts' face so he can't save, and Jeff steals the win and the title. Son of a fucking bitch.
***

Callis is very happy, and he celebrates with Jeff. OH THE FIX IS IN. They call Tenay in the ring and Jeff says he told the world it didn't matter who it was, he was winning the title. There is no one who can do a damn thing about it. Jimmy Hart's terrible voice comes over the mic and says he's making some phone calls and Jeff will lose a pint of blood next week thanks to someone he used to manage.

The double turn makes all the sense in the world and it was done really well, and it sets up the eventual rematch where AJ rids us of this scumbag once and for all. However, the shit with Jimmy dampens it all and makes AJ look like a loser, and furthers a story that isn't happening. LOLTNA.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-22/10/03
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: MICHAEL SHANE. Since-20/8/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TEAM DISCO. Since-27/8/03

NWA-TNA PPV#67
October 29th, 2003
TNA Asylum

In the carpark, Jimmy Hart arrives in a limo and refuses to show the world who Jeff is facing. Kill me.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs Disco Inferno & David Young
Tenay says Disco is the final roadblock in AMW's quest to win the titles back, and i want to die. This isn't very good at all as it's nearly 12 minutes and Disco is a bag of shit, and the other 3 can only do so much with someone this limited, and a match this long. Control seg is dull as hell, Harris has a bad hot tag for once as he can't get shit out of Disco. DY is beat by the Death Sentence
3/4*

Post match, AMW run Disco off and declares his games are over. They want their rematch next week!!!

In the back, Hudson is with Michael Shane. Hudson gets on his case about not defending the title tonight, and Shane says has been advised not to defend it against anyone unworthy who won't elevate his career. He says he wants a triple chance invitational tournament starting next week to determine his next challenger. Oh, no. Time for another super convoluted TNA idea.

Match#2 Michael Shane vs Sonjay Dutt
Decent enough showcase for Mike Shane. DW and Tenay ponder who the advisor is, and it's pretty obvious it's a certain bloated laughing shooting numbnuts. Superkick does it
*3/4

In the back, Dusty doesn't know who Hart has to face Double J.

Match#3 Red Shirt Security w/Don Callis vs Erik Watts & Don Harris
Holy fucking shit. I don't give out awards for the worst match of the year, but this bad boy is the answer for the question. No one in this can wrestle, bump, sell, or go within 500 yards of public buildings. A true war crime happening before my eyes. Imagine paying for this in 2003 when you can watch murder for free on livevideo TNA fans are insane and need a padded room. Harris is actually the worst wrestler in this as he's stumbling on everything and all his offence looks like shit. At one point, he doesn't even bother to turn all the way to hit a double shoulder block with Watts and he just stands there. This might be worse than B,O.D vs KroniK, but not nearly as funny. Northcutt hits one of the worst looking Pumphandles ever as well.Just a complete fucking horror show. Goldy makes her return to yell at Callis, or something. Harris hot tag is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. He wins with a shoddy looking rollup, which really says it all.
LOLTNA NEVER DIES

Post match, the Shirts botch a flapjack on Harris and take out Watts with a botched spike piledriver. I can't breathe.



TNA now airs a recap of AJ/Jeff. Morons.

In the ring, Tenay is standing by. He brings out Jarrett and his horrrrrrrrrrrble theme hits and all is bad in the world of TNA right now. Jeff dubs himself Mr October after the last month of his career. Everyone wants to talk about the men he has taken out and he got an email from a fan; It's from a fan who has bought every TNA episode and thanks him for winning the title back. Weird he's reading an email from Russo, but here we are. The fans chant for Hogan and fuck them. Just, fuck them. He demands Jimmy come out, but it's newly minted babyface AJ Styles. He says he needs to worry less about Jimmy and more about him. He knows the fans won't trust him after what he did, but they know he deserves a rematch. Jeff says he's fallen to the bottom of the barrell like he did when he lost. He can go back to the X-Division where he belongs, boy. AJ says it was the X-Division that put TNA on the map AND HE'S THE ONE WHO PUT IT THERE. FUCK YEAH. He goes down to the ring, but Black Shirts hold him back and the shitty Red Shirts grab him as well. Callis gets in the ring and says AJ isn't booked tonight and he's kicking him out. Red Shirts drag him out and and a horrible feud has just started. Jeff again demands Hart come out, but it's Dusty instead. Dusty challenges him for the world title, but Jeff kocks his hat off and says he's only facing people who are worthy. The new terrible heel faction leaves.Horrible segment.

In the back, Team Disco is sad, or some shit. Sonny Siaki walks on and Disco asks him and Ekmo to take out AMW next week. He says he has a match later and they'll talk soon.

Match#4 Ekmo Fatu & Sonny Saiki w/ Trinity vs Danny Doring & Roadkill
Awesome to see Roadkill stick around, even though TNA still won't give him a single match. Doring is isolated and Ekmo goes to work beating the snot out of him, which more than makes up for Sonny being terrible. Roadkill gets the hot tag and he and Ekmo briefly fight for 20 seconds before Sonny shoves him off the top, and Ekmo kills him with a splash to win.
*

Post match, Sonny accepts the match against AMW. Trinity walks out on them all.

Match#5 Kid Kash vs Abyss (CHAIR ON A POLE FIRST BLOOD MATCH)
Russo's parting gift is a doozy of a thing. Chair makes sense after their match, but the blood is out of the blue and classic Russo. Abyss mostly kicks the fuck out of Kash again and that's never not fun. Kash boots him in the dick and gets the chair down and uses it to stay alive. He throws at his skull and hits him in the dick with it, and it's a real maniac piece of work from Kash. Abyss fights back and sets the chair up in the corner and tries a spear but Kash moves and Abyss goes headfirst and busts himself open and Kash wins
**

Post match, Abyss is very mad and murders Kash for being alive. He kills the ref and some black shirts on top of it.

In another pre-tape, Shane Douglas says his new charge is very impressive and if they keep it up, they'll get the spot.

Match#6 Raven vs Vampiro w/Father James Mitchell ( Dream Blood Gallows Of Retribution)
There are chains tied to every corner and one you get it, you can use it and then hang the other guy over the ropes to win. Vamp has his face painted silver and he looks more terrible than normal. Speaking of Vamp, did you know he tried to bring a class action suit against WWE for using him as a hidden character in WWE games because he didn't understand that CAW system? Yeah, he's a special kind of stupid. This is a Raven carry job to the shock of no one because Vamp is a turd, and Raven isn't missing during the last stage of his peak. Lots plunder and blood and Raven taking stupid bumps that are wreaking his body to make it all work. Raven has a wonderful comeback as he fires up as Vamp is choking him and the crowd comes unglued. He hits all his big stuff and hits the EVENFLOW through a table, although he went through it as Vamp refuses to bump for it, like the fucking coward he is. Raven finally strangles this bastard to win for the good of pro wrestling.
**3/4

Post match, Mitchell tries to fireball Raven but he ducks under and Mitchell bails. Punk tries to save and Raven tells him to fuck off and leave this to him. He says it's finally down to them and Mitchell is dying next in a Last Man Standing match.

DW and Mitchell run down the Triple Chance Tournament.
5/11/03; Battle Royal to determine top 5 seeds
12/11; Seed 2 vs Seed 5. Seed 3 vs Seed 4
19/11l Seed 1 vs ? vs ? for the #1 Contendership

Goddamn it, TNA. Just run a normal fucking single man tourney.

Jeff comes out for this terrible bullshit, and he has two guitars with him like real tough guy. Oh, speaking of tough guys, the mystery dude is HACKSAW DUGGAN. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan w/Jimmy Hart
Look, we all had a moment where we loved Hacksaw for a moment, but he's been bad for a decade plus and it's 03. So, I'll be nice and say Jeff wins with a guitar shot and we can go home.
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Post match, Red Shirts drag Hacksaw out as Jeff gets on the mic and demands Jimmy bring out Hogan. Jimmy instead announces it's Rick Steiner. He attacks Jeff from behind and it's on.

Match#8 Jeff Jarrett vs Rick Steiner
Hey, this is very bad and TNA is now going to be cancer ridden main event until April. Jeff smack him in his shitty head with the guitar for the DQ
WOOOOOOOOOF

Jeff gets on the mic and begs Jimmy Hart get in and fight him, but Jimmy says next week it's Jeff Jarrett vs THE MAN CALLED STING. TNA plays the Seek and Destroy knock-off to close the show.

Worst episode of the year.