Donnie watches NWA-TNA 2003

[BigVanDonnie]

This time its 52 full weeks of Russo booked TV, so i might actually die this time. Wish me luck

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: SONNY SIAKI. Since-11/12/02

NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: NEW CHURCH. Since-13/11/02

NWA-TNA PPV#26
Januray 8th, 2003
TNA ASYLUM

We get a long black and white recap of Russo's debut, the formation of SEX, and all the bullshit in-between.

After 6 minutes of that we finally get to the show. Tenay is standing in the ring with AMW, Lynn and Truth. He says he requested this time with the past, present and future of wrestling. On the outside there are a few legends, and one of them is Jeff Jarrett's grandpa, Eddie Marlin. He points out some blackshirts as the future of the company, and i can tell you they won't be. He puts over the men in the ring, and i feel like this is happening for any new fans who have tuned it. Tenay rants about how much he hates Russo, and how he killed WCW. Nothing you haven't heard before. or won't hear again for the next 17 years. He asks the fans to write in and support them, along with all the wrestlers. SEX's music hits and the crew (sans AJ and Triple X) come out through the crowd. Zero heat for those keeping score at home.

Russo says he's out here to get through to Tenay's head, and he has friends in management. They argue about this, and fuck me i hate both of these smug cunts. Russo says he's here to SAVE THIS BUSINESS BECAUSE ITS AT AN ALL TIME LOW. Hey, i wonder how that happened, you dick. He says no one came to this shithole until he showed up, and now everyone is here to see SEX. Russo says Evolution is the solution, and they'll all regret fighting him. He singles out the faces in the ring and says they all have something lose. Lynn's ability to feed his daughter, Storm's job, or Harris will have to model men's underwear because he's a fruitcake. Least make a playgirl reference, Russo. He says Truth knows where he's coming from, and he can't rap his way to the top because African American rappers are a dime a dozen, and half of them suck. He calls the blackshirts jackoffs, before shitting on the legends for being old. This is fucking awful. One of the women gets in and flips him off, and Russo goes nose to nose and tries to fight her. DEAD. SEX attacks the faces, until Jeff and the LOD make the save.

Horrible start to the year.

We go to SEX's lockeroom where BG rallies the awful troops.

Match#1 EZ Money & Kid Kash vs David Young & Tony Mamaluke
Gross. So, so gross to be forced to watch this. Lots of ugly botches, and even worse strikes. Just a bad match. Poor DY deserves better, as he's a real Diamond in the Rough. He beats EZ with a second spinebuster after Money botched the first like the hack he is.
1/2*

Triple X now run out and leave everyone laying in awesome fashion. Skipper snatches the mic, and says TNA didn't want to use them, so now you have SEX before you and the best part is TRIPLE X. Skipper says they are the X-Division and without them this place ain't shit. Double J rushes the ring and cleans house. He says this is the NWA's house, and its been here for 50 years and it'll be here long after they're all dead and gone. He challenges them to a gauntlet match tonight, and when he wins he wants to put Russo through a table. That ruled. Should have kicked the show off with this.

Backstage, Goldy is with Bullet and the faces. He sends AMW to get someone on the phone, and says if they don't step up and fight they'll lose the war. Lynn says he's making a stand. Truth says he's the one who named this building and he's not letting them win. AMW bring the phone in and Bullet demands the person get here now.

Match#2 Sonny Siaki (c) w/Desire vs Jason Cross (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
That's the unnamed woman for those few madmen reading this. Sonny still blows, and Cross can only do so much. He does get to hit a wonderful dive and his bumping is awesome, but Sonny is a brick wall of bad who can't help but ruin everything. He again makes the blocked rana-slam the head spot look like complete shit. He eventually wins with a shitty rollup after Desire crotches Cross on the post
*1/2

Bullet runs out and says we aren't doing it like that, and we're going to restart it. Russo runs in and says he's not doing that, because the fans are here to see SEX. Also, because Cross isn't in condition to start the match, and the Nazis murder him with a throw to the ramp. Russo keeps insulting Bullet, and BG looks very conflicted, even more so when Russo demands he take his daddy out, or he'll do it. He thinks about it, but Lynn and Truth attack the ring and a tag match breaks out.

Match#3 Ron "The Truth Killings & Jerry Lynn vs BG James & Don "Nazi" Harris
The faces go nuts and beat the shit out of these two Muppets. Really fun ringside brawl, and Truth is again the MVP of it all. He's a house of fire in a house full of broken matches. Lynn and BG have a really fun fight, and BG gets his lip and nose busted open to make it even cooler. Lynn gets isolated and that's fine enough, but Truth's hot tag is the true highlight. He has BG dead to rites, but MIKE SANDERS OF WCW 2000 FAME ATTACKS HIM FOR THE DQ
**
I guess WWE took all the good Natural Born Thrillers, so he was the last option.

Russo walks over to the rail with SEX and they welcome him into the group. Cool to see Dixie's money going to waste right away.

Tenay interviewed Percy Pringle earlier today. Standard legends speech we all know and love. Again, i have to note how fat he is at this point. WWE really prolonged his life for a few years by paying for his surgery.

Match#4 The New Church (c) w/Father James & Belladonna vs America's Most Wanted (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
NOW THE SHOW CAN BEGIN. Awesome brawl to kick us off, and after months of feuding they still keep it fresh. Tenay says this is the final showdown and there won't be a rematch. LOLTNA. Lots of nasty throws into the metal rails, and Storm takes a motherfucker of a suplex on the concrete. Harris gets killed with a chair shot, and NC move into beating the piss out of them in the control seg. Storm is isolated this go round, and its wonderful as always. His attempted comebacks and the cutoffs rules, and I'm going to miss this when its over. DW is marking out over the match and thinks its the best one yet. Its not, but God bless that beautiful man. Storm gets cracked in the head with the belt, and now he's really dead. He slowly fights back and shows a ton of heart and fire, until he can get the tag. Harris going fucking wild and its the best. Love this man so much. It breaks down as things tend to, lots of tomfoolery and close calls. Mitchell spikes Storm in the back of the skull, and somehow he kicks out of it. Holy fuck. Harris kicks out a loaded fist, and NC are shook. They keep cheating, but AMW fight through it all. AMW get Slash alone, and they murder him with the Death Sentence to win the belts back. What a farewell.
***1/2

AMW are now the first two time tag champs.

Backstage, Bullet refuses to tell Goldy who was on the phone.

JB announces the next match will be an AXE HANDLE ON A POLE MATCH. Russo, you fuck.

Bloated corpse, Curt Hennig makes his way out for another SHOOTZ about taking Brock down at 35,000 feet. His last SHOOTZ actually, because he's dead in a few weeks. Oh, this is his last ever match. Just a wonderful thing all around.

Match#5 Curt Hennig vs David Flair (Axe Handle on a POLE)
For those lucky few who have never seen David Flair in action, let me tell you he's awful. Like, one would think this is a parody of Ric that a second rate company would put together, except he's really Ric's kid. This is trash as you would imagine it to be. David makes Curt look like he's 90's Mr Perfect, and he's sure as hell not that. Hennig gets a blackshirt to take the handle down, because he's now a heel. I got nothing. He hits David with it to win. Yes, he hit him in the guts with the handle and the ref called it. Complete shitshow.
LOLTNA

David attacks him post match with a burlap sack, and leaves him laying. So cool this was Mr Perfect's last ever match. Sure its what he wanted.

Goldy tries to speak to David, but he thankfully walks past her before we have to hear his awful voice. Desire walks over and cuts a promo about being the new girl in town. Fuck everything. She attacks Goldy for a while until Athena fights her off and they have a catfight. Cyrus isn't here to call it, so fuck all of this even more.

NEXT WEEK. SIAKI VS AMAZING RED. DO THE SWITCH, YOU BASTARDS.

DW tries to keep announcing, but Mike Sanders runs out and grabs Tenay, and defends his daddy. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. Oh, Tenay will interview Russo next week. Oh, no.

Match#6 Jeff Jarrett vs Christopher Daniels (Gauntlet Match #1)
Jeff's babyface work is awesome against Daniels, as it feels more authentic here. Daniels is at home in his natural role as a heel. He gets to beat up Jeff for a bit and its pretty fun stuff, and it makes me want a longer match., He's just so crisp and fun to watch. Really underrated in comparison to his peers. Jeff hits a flash Stroke to beat him
**1/4

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett vs Elix Skipper (Gauntlet Match #2)
Skipper runs through the crowd and blindsides him to take control. BG joins commentary, and its not good. Skipper's control work is pretty good, aside from one botch where he messes up a dive and lands on his head. We get a mini Asylum Brawl, and its good fun. Jeff' fire is amazing, and Skipper is a great pinball. Skipper takes back over in the ring with a looooooooooooooooooong sleeper hold, and the highlight is BG yelling at his brother to call the match. Daniels tries to help but he takes out Skipper with a lariat, and Jeff cleans house and pins Elix.
**1/2

Match#8 Jeff Jarrett vs Low Ki (Gauntlet Match #3)
Ki rushes the ring and kicks the living crap out of Jeff. Jeff lets him beat the piss out of him, and combined with Ki's constant taunting, its awesome. Jeff's comeback is even better, and one again i need a longer match. They belt each other with a chair and Ki starts to pull ahead. He fucks Jeff up with the Dragon Clutch and Jeff's selling is wonderful, Triple X make their way down to cheer Ki on as he beats Jeff's head in. Ki targets the knee and its fantastic, Jeff realises he's fucked so he hits a low blow and the Stroke, but Triple X attack for the DQ. LOVE that Jeff is still a dirty bastard, and he's only a hero because Russo is scum.
**3/4

Triple X beat his ass for a while, as refs try to stop it. LOD run out and clean house in slow old man style. Daniels eats the Doomsday Device, BUT AJ SPRINGBOARD DROCKICKS ANIMAL DOWN, AND HE TAKES OUT HAWK. HE BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF JEFF AGAIN, AND ITS AMAZING. Russo shows up to enjoy the damage, and AJ nails Jeff with the Clash as SEX beatdown LOD. AJ hits Jeff with the Spiral Tap, and Russo raises his hand and SEX clap for him, BUT AJ WALKS OUT ON THEM AND LEAVES THROUGH THE CROWD. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. SEX try to put Jeff through a table, BUT THE AMERICAN DREAM IF YOU WHEEL MAKES THE SAVE. BIONIC ELBOWS FOR ALL OF SEX TO CLOSE THE SHOW.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: SONNY SIAKI. Since-11/12/02

NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-8/1/03

NWA-TNA PPV#27
January 15th, 2003
TNA ASYLUM

The infamous Vince Russo interview kicks us off. "YOU WANT LUCHA LIBRES? WHATEVER YOU CALL THEM, GO TO JAPAN!" "USA TODAY"



We go to the desk, and Tenay is about to announce something about Amazing Red but SEX come out to the ring

DEAD

Russo says he's bought it just for Tenay, and he needs to say some things. He says this is between him and Jeff, and now that these legends want to be involved we'll make it a party. He says they aren't the NWO. AMEN. He demands everyone step up and join him, or forever hold their peace. Percy Pringle comes out for some SHOOTZ. He says he has known him longer than anyone else in the building, and he remembers him when he was a fake interviewer until he snaked his way in. He brings up the freaks and geeks that he bought in, and that's Sports Entertainment! He says Vinny Roo might be right that the old version of wrestling is dead, and he offers a handshake. BAW GAWD. Russo says he's not different from Taker and Jeff, men he created who ended up kicking him in the ass. Um, you didn't create either man, you stupid asshole. He calls him a fat piece of shit that used to cut promos on him, so Percy spits on him! SEX beat him down, and BG breaks the soap box over his skull. Percy is a bloody mess, and fucking Jorge Estrada tries to make the save. Weird. He gets murdered for a while, and Percy is FUCKED UP on the outside. Jeff and some blackshirts run out and clean house.

Tenay announces Red is stuck in Japan, and Jorge was meant to take his place but he's dead.

TONIGHT: AMW VS DIVINE STORM. JEFF/LOD VS TRIPLE X. DUSTY IS BACK THIS WEEK

Match#1 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Divine Storm w/Trinity (NWA-TNA Tag Team Championships)
AMW get their win back from these bags of shit. I wish we never had to go through that, but at least we get pissed off AMW killing them to make up for it. Control seg from DS is awful, but the hot tag and subsequent murder makes up for it. Death Sentence does the deed.
**

Amazing hype video for AJ Styles.

The God himself comes out to the ring all alone, and Tenay wonders who he's really with. DW thinks he's his own man. AJ says he knows everyone wants to know who he's with, its not Mortimer, or is it SEX. He is his own man and he does whatever he wants, and he wants to be World Heavyweight Champion, AND TRUTH COMES OUT TO CONFRONT HIM. Fuck yes. Truth raps about AJ being wet behind the ears and needing to wait in line, because he's not getting a shot until he does. AJ decks him and shit is on!

Match#2 AJ Styles vs Ron "The Truth" Killings
Actual dream match for me, and i wish TNA had waited to do it for the title, but at least its happening. Truth's fire and AJ being a crash test dummy is the best. DW calls this is a perfect match, and he's correct as always. AJ dropkicks him in the dick to take over, and we get an awesome control seg. He breaks out the Dropkick Sequence and its stunning. He also has some killer trash talk, just to show how far he's come since June. I imagine by the time he wins the belt in 7 months he'll be perfect. He keeps blasting and beating the piss out of him, and its wonderful to watch. Truth's comeback rules as he sells the damage, while chucking bombs. Truth kills him with Truth or Consequences off top (AJ took a hideous bump on the side of his body), but Mortimer runs out and distracts the ref and David Flair runs in and hits Truth with the bag and AJ steals it
***

Backstage, Goldy is with Jeff and LOD. Jeff says he spent years fighting to get in the ring with world champions, and AJ is a LONG way away from being world champion. LOD do their thing and its cool.

Meanwhile, AJ storms to the desk and demands to know what more he needs to do to get a title shot. He says Tenay needs him to get him a shot, and he's not leaving until he gets one. He sits in the middle of the ring and says they wrestle around him because he's not leaving! LARRY ZBYSZKO MAKES HIE DEBUT TO TEACH AJ THE GAME OF HUMAN CHESS. He says he's proud to be here because this place stands for TRADITION. He says he wanted to cut his wrist after listening to Russo, and now he sees a kid being brainwashed by him. He destroys everything he touches, and AJ needs to shut up and listen. If he sells his soul he'll never make the grade, and without that soul he won't survive this glorious sport like he has. AJ tries to speak but Larry keeps cutting him and saying he knows he's with Russo. He drops the school of hard knocks, so AJ challenges him to a fight next week, AND HE SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE. A MOUNTAIN OF BLACKSHIRTS KEEP THEM APART. That ruled.

Recap of the catfight.

Match #3 Desire w/Sonny Siaki vs. April Hunter
This is worse than Sonny/Jorge would have been. Not a high bar, but you get my point. Desire can't throw any shot, nor take any bumps correctly. Hunter is also very bad at her job. Really a time-capsule of what women's wrestling in the American mainstream looked like for years and years. Desire fucks up a top rope rana by falling off the top rope, second one ends it
LOLTNA

Athena attacks her post match, and that's trash as well. Desire strips her down so we can get the TNA joke.

In the carpark, brain trust Goldy is waiting for Dusty, but Mr Wrestling IV shows up instead.

Recap of Sanders debut.

He makes his way out and cuts a promo professing his love for Russo. He says he's recruiting for SEX, so I'm sure more awful members will join. Jerry Lynn comes out and defends tradition, BITCH

Match#4 Jerry Lynn vs Mike Sanders
The New F'N Deal is very angry, and he reflects this by beating the crap out of this dork. The Nazi comes out to cause distraction and the dork take overs. Decent control seg from him, but nothing Above Average. Sorry. Lynn's comeback is pretty good and all, he has it won but the Nazi pulls the ref out. Another ref comes out and when the same thing happens, Dusty waddles out and cleans house with dat elbow. Lynn hits the TKO to take it
**1/4

Lynn leaves the fat man to cut a promo. He says everyone seems cross tonight baby, and he likes to be cross with a cancerous man. He says 35 years ago he saw a marquee with PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING on it, and there wasn't any midget beating off in a trash can. We can't lose tradition, baby. He says when he was sitting in a broke down hotel drinking the last of his cerveza with the NWA title sticking out of his bag, HE KNEW PRO WRESTLING WAS REAL. He says he's drawling a line in the sand, and they need to grab that lighting bolt before it crashes to the ground. BG walks out and watches on. Dusty puts over Ricky wrestling for an hour, and Jeff doing it for 30, or a midget beating off in a trash can. He says they can work hard to save tradition, and they have a choice to make. Dusty's sermon's are incredible. He says he was going to go home, but he wants to make Russo's night a living nightmare. Russo now comes out and stands on the announce table. He says Dusty never thanked him for making Dustin a star. He says he got goosebumps last week when he showed up to fight SEX, and that's because he grew up idolising him and Flair. Dusty drops a nuke in response "WELL, YOU GOT HALF OF IT RIGHT" AMAZING. Russo says that changed when he met them, he wanted to shave Flair's head, and slap the birthmark off Dusty's gut. Dusty challenges him to fight him right now, so Russo says the 6 man is now an 8 man tag. Dusty says he'll lobby for it with Bullet, and he doesn't need any gear to whip his ass. Russo says if he wins tonight, next week all the titles will be on the line and Russo is picking the challengers. Russo says before he goes off and watches a midget beat off in a trash can, tonight he needs to be very aware.

Ok, that ruled.

Match#5 Jason Cross vs David Young
The X-Division gets back on track with this super fun sprint. DY gets to show off his awesome brusier style against a fun babyface in Cross. Nothing remarkable, just a formula done well. Tenay says Jorge is really dead, so Bullet is going to find a challenger for Sonny. He then comes out and says Kash gets the shot, and the main event is on. Cross misses the Crossfire and DY ends his life with his awesome Spinebuster
**3/4

At ringside, BG confront his old man and his brother, but we cut away to the ring where Konnan runs in and beats Cross and DY with a cane. FUCK OFF, YOU DOPEY HACK. The cops run down and throw him out of the building. Something really awful is about happen.

Kid Kash brings out Trinty as an equaliser.

Match#6 Sonny Siaki (c) w/Desire vs Kid Kash w/Trinity (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Should have given the match to Trinty tbh. Thankfully, only 3 minutes and not 6 where it could be dreadful. Kash does some cool stuff and Sonny is a fun punching bag. Desire trips Kash when he tries a rana and Sonny nails a DDT to win
*3/4

The ladies have another bad catfight, and Trinity kills her with a tornado DDT.

NEXT WEEK. TNA IS ON PPV IN AUSTRALIA. RODDY PIPER WILL BE LIVE VIA VIDEO. AJ VS LARRY Z.

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett, Dusty Rhodes & The Road Warriors vs Vince Russo & Triple X (Title Stipulations on the line)
Russo is wrestling a hockey helmet and a mouthpiece. He's cancer, but he does make me laugh on occasion. Jeff/X is awesome again, with the Daniels match being the most fun. Its also highly amusing watching Ki get murdered by Animal, knowing he's probably not enjoying it. Hawk is more giving with Triple X, because he's a good dude. Jeff gets isolated and its a Triple X control seg, so it rules a ton. Dusty's hot tag is 10 seconds of elbows before it all breaks down. He and Russo go to fight, BUT MR WRESTLING IV HITS HIM WITH A CHAIN, AND SKIPPER PINS DUSTY
**3/4

He unmasks himself

ITS THE RUSSIAN NIGHTMARE, NIKITA KOLOFF. THE SUPERPOWERS HAVE EXPLODED WITH A RUSSIAN CHAIN SHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD. WE'LL SEE YOU ON THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDER.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: SONNY SIAKI. Since-11/12/02

NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. Since-8/1/03

NWA-TNA PPV#28
January 22nd, 2003
TNA ASYLUM

R.I.P, The Sheik

JB is in my country to promote TNA being on PPV for the first time over here. Poor fuck is in Sydney, and not Melbourne.

Match#1 David Young, Shark Boy & Jimmy Yang vs Amazing Red & S.A.T
Waste of Red tbh, as he should be facing and beating Sonny. This is perfectly fine showcase for his team, and a good way to introduce them to new fans. Lots of cool spots, and Red's the obvious standout. He beats Yang with Code Red off the top.
**1/2

Post match, Konnan runs down and attacks the losing team with a cane. Cops throw him out of the Asluym as he shouts at Tenay that he knows what this is about.

Tenay announces Percy is at home recovering from his injures (he quit) DW then hold a copy of PW1 with the Superpowers on the front and wonders if we'll find out why Nikita did the deed.

TONIGHT. AJ VS LARRY . TRUTH/LYNN VS SANDERS/FLAIR. ALL 3 TITLES WILL BE ON THE LINE WITH CHALLENGERS PICKED BY RUSSO.

SEX make their way out for some more awful mic time. I don't deserve this, no one does. He tells a fan holding a "Russo is a virgin" sign to ask his mother. GOT EM. He says the PPV's are up by 22% in buyrates (so 25% in total) He announces Ki/Skipper will challenge AMW for the belts tonight. He then makes Sonny vs one of the TNA rookies from a couple weeks ago, and Athena (because she brings her knee pads every week) Tenay loses it and says this killed the CW's in WCW, and i agree. He says this will be Jeff's final night as champion. He's defending in a 4 corners match where pins, submissions and over the top rope rules all count. He's be facing Daniels, BG and Don Harris. Jesus Christ, that's awful. Just give me Jeff/Daniels, you dickhead. He leaves and we are forced to listen to Sanders. He says next week we will meet a new member, and a new Aussie wrestler, Ashley Hudson. No, I've never heard of him.

Match#2 Ashley Hudson w/Mike Sanders vs Jorge Estrada
Well, this is very bad. Hudson apparently wrestled in dying WCW, which shows you what we're dealing with. He's really bad, and looks like post head Al Snow.
Jorge stinks as well. Just a piece of shit match. Hudson sloppily rolls through on a crossbody to steal it
Getting bitten by a White Tail

Recap of Larry 's debut.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Larry Zbyszko
Tenay calls this harder than JR calling a Dr Death match, or Tony calling Flair. AJ doesn't take this seriously at all, so Larry makes him look like a fool as only he can. He beats his ass on the mat and AJ is at loss at what to do. Mortimer comes out and watches on the stage. Larry keeps getting the best of AJ and cutting off his comebacks, and I'm really fucking mad a 50 year old is beating him up. Even more so when AJ has to get his feet on the ropes to beat him, which makes him look like a fucking loser.
LOLTNA

First AJ match not to get any points, i pray i never have to do that again.

AJ gets in Tenay's face and demands a title match right now.

This episode is trash. Lets see how worse it can get.

Horrrible interviewer Goldy asks Lynn where he'll go if Russo ruins everything. He says this is about his family and he'll do what he needs to.

Match#4 Jerry Lynn & Ron "The Truth" Killings vs David Flair & Mike Sanders
Truth has gone from worlds champion to fighting David Flair. That's criminal, Russo. The faces work as hard as possible to get something out of these tools, and its mostly not bad. Lynn gets isolated in a really basic boring heel control seg. Nothing bad, just very dull and nothing to write home about. I will that, David is the worst ever. Truly hate that fucking twit. Truth's hot tag is good fun for 60 seconds or so, before Flair cracks Lynn in the skull with the bag and the heels steal it
*3/4

Post match, Sanders says Truth came to him earlier and tried to join, but they're full. Oh, no.

There's an insane Piper shoot video where he rants about Owen and all the friends he's lost.

This shows needs a saviour

Match#5 America's Most Wanted (c) vs Triple X w/Christopher Daniels (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
HERE WE FUCKING GO, BOYS AND GIRLS. The feud that puts TNA's tag division, and them on the map. Tenay makes an awesome point right away by pointing out that AMW having been dealing with the bigger NC, and might not be ready for the speed of XXX. This proves true to start as Ki beats the holy hell out of Storm, and really overwhelms him with his speed. Storm's comebacks are full of piss and vinegar, and 3 minutes in you can already see how great this feud will be. Harris turns the tide with his strength, which is the first time he's really had that advantage. They really beat the hell out of them, and its so fun to watch. Ki boots Storm in the skull to isolate him and Triple X go insane with their control seg. Just mean and nasty as hell. DW is marking out again and helps to make it even better. Harris' hot tag is even better now that he has two insane bumpers to die for him. Harris LAYS in his shots on Skipper, and this is the best he's looked yet. Shit breaks down as it tends to, and everyone goes wild. Daniels causes a distraction during the DS and Ki kicks Storm in the fucking throat, he dead and Elix clobbers Harris with the tag belts and Triple X steals the win.
***1/2

Yeah, give me 18 months of this, please.

Backstage, Bullet says Jeff is the last man he has left to defend tradition.

Match#6 Sonny Siaki (c) w/Desiree vs Athena vs Chris Vaughn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Hey, this is really awful. Sonny beats up this nothing happening loser and Athena, and i have to suffer through it. Sonny wins, lets move on
LOLTNA

Sonny tries to kill Athena post match, but Trinity makes the save with a dropkick. She beats up Desiree, and Kash runs out and kills Sonny.

Backstage, SEX party. Don't care.

Dusty makes his way out with an American Chain in his hand. (He doesn't call it as such, but it is) Tenay talks about the formation of the Superpowers, but he leaves out DUSTY CUTTING MAGGIE MAY'S BREAK LINES, AND CRUSHER BEING A CLOSETED HOMOSEXUAL. Dusty rants about SEX in public, if you wheel. He says he needs some conversation, or retribution with Nikita. He comes out through the crowd in a really nice blue suit, showing bad guys always look better in suits. He stands on the announce table and Dusty throws the chain to his feet. Dusty says he remembers when he was his own man and never took orders, and now he has a pimp. I mean, he followed Uncle Ivan for two years, so that's not completely true, Dusty. Anyway, Dusty is mad that Nikita has a pimp in Russo. He talks about the feud with Magnum and the formation of the Superpowers (again, leaves out the part about ending his career) Dusty says he couldn't speak English (NOT TRUE) and when Dusty called him to take Maggie's place, and from there he stood for tradition. He asks him to stand by his side and forget about what has happened. He asks Mike to show him the PWI cover and thinks about all of it. Dusty gets the fans behind this idea and Nikita gets down and thinks about it, but Russo and Triple X run down to stop this. He calls this a crossroads of pro wrestling and says they are the saviours, but Dusty says Nikita IS tradition and they can save it. Really cool Nikita is such a highly touted young prospect. Nikita shoves past Russo and gets in the ring, AND HITS DUSTY WITH THE SICKLE. AWW, SON OF A BITCH. Russo tells Dusty to blow him and the heels leave. Nikita walks off by himself, and Mike thinks he's his own man. Tenay, you a dumb smug cunt. Mike storms off to finally leave us with DW calling everything by himself.

Backstage, Mike gives Double J a pep talk about TRADITION.

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett (c) vs BG James vs Christopher Daniels vs Don Harris (NWA Worlds Heavyweight Championship. Gauntlet Rules)
DW says its gunaltent rules to start and once two men have been thrown over the top it will become a singles match. Jeff has the crap beaten out of him and is busted open with some gross chair shots. We get another Asylum Brawl, and Daniels is the standout, while Don is the worst again. Scott Armstrong keeps stopping BG from hitting Jeff with chair shots, i guess because we REALLY need that feud. Daniels dies off a table bump where his knees go through it, so we get a really awful handicap match for a while. Scott Armstrong ends up pulling his shirt off and beating up his brother. LOLTNA. Dusty comes out and and lazily hits some elbows and beats up the Nazi. Daniels FINALLY gets back in to try and save this shit, while Dusty fights ALL of SEX in the locker room. What a fucking mess. Daniels and Jeff try to save this, and they do a good job of it. Daniels again looks awesome, and Jeff goes out of his way to help him as best he can. Jeff catches Daniels coming off to the top and hits the Stroke to beat him. NOW, the match is over despite no one going over the ropes, which were the fucking rules.
LOLTNA (Wish i could give Jeff and Daniels points, but i just can't)

The babyfaces all celebrate with Jeff in a great moment. BUT FUCK ALL OF THAT NOISE, BECAUSE RAVEN MAKES HIS DEBUT AND KILLS JEFF WITH THE EVENFLOW AND STEALS THE NWA TITLE. HE LEAVES WITH SEX AS THE ENTIRE LOCK ROOM TRIES TO CHASE AFTER HIM.

THE JOURNEY TO FULFIL DESTINY HAS JUST BEGUN.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: SONNY SIAKI. Since-11/12/02

NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-22/1/03

NWA-TNA PPV#29
January 29th, 2003
TNA ASYLUM

Killer recap of Triple X winning the belts, kicks us off.

Raven's AMAZING new theme hits


We find him sitting in his new perch in the crowd. "Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and what i'm wearing around my waist is THE greatest prize this sport has to offer. A prize that men of honour and distinction, like Jack Briscoe, Harley Race, and Dory Funk have held. BUT times have changed, there is a revolution going on and Jeff Jarrett just doesn't seem to get it. So, I've taken it upon myself to write this egregious wrong. Some of you may call me mad. twisted, tortured, an evil genius. Perhaps even insane, BUT WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TO JUDGE ME. YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL DEGENERATES, AND WHEN THE LIGHT OF MY BRILLIANCE SHINES DOWN UPON YOU, YOU ALL SCATTER LIKE THE COCKROACHES YOU ARE. Jeff Jarrett. Jeff Jarrett, i will do what i must to show you the error of your ways. If i have to, i will urinate in your bone marrow. I rip off your neck and use it as a latrine, A wise man once said "You remember more, the things you survive. More than the things you enjoy" What i have planned for you Jeff is something you never ever forget. Welcome to Raven's clockwork orange house of fun. Quoth The Raven, Nevermore".

He does the pose AND JEFF RUNS OVER AND CLOBBERS HIM IN THE FUCKING SKULL WITH A TRASH CAN. He beats him all the way to the ring, and its the best. Raven sells like a fucking lunatic, and Jeff FINALLY becomes the face he wants to be. He beats the piss out of him with the can and a chair, and he takes the belt back! He sets up a table and goes to put him through it with a trash can, but Russo grabs his legs and Raven suplexes him through the table and SEX take the belt back. Faces run down and chase them off. Goddamn, what an opener.



We follow that amazing stuff with a Jorge promo denying he wants to join SEX. Fuck off.

Recap of SEX taking control.

Match#1 Amazing Red vs Jorge Estrada
Poor, poor Red. He does the best he can with this boring, botchy idiot, and its pretty fun from his end. Jorge blows a ton and really shouldn't be here, but Red helps him through it. Infra Red ends it.
**
Sanders comes out and tries to recruit Jorge, which is odd because he's a big fucking loser. Jorge decks him for this, AND DISCO INFERNO RUNS OUT AND KILLS HIM WITH A CHAIR. Sanders says he's the new director of authority, and he's now called Glen Gliberti. Holy shit, that's awful. I refuse to call him by his real name. He'll always be Disco.

Backstage, Jeff throws Bullet up against a wall and demands he get him Raven and Russo, so he can solve this. Truth runs over and tries to calm it down, but Jeff storm soff.

Match#2 Jerry Lynn vs David Flair
Jerry beats up one of the worst wrestlers ever and guides him through a very basic 4 minute match. So, of course he gets rewarded with a loss after Killings accidentally hits him with the burlap sack. LOLTNA
*3/4

Recap of BG's heel turn

Tenay sits down with him for an interview. He speaks about his family's history in the sport, and how he's better than all of them. He bitches about Jeff again, and i laugh because he walked out and nearly nuked his career for it. He does some SHOOTZ about gimmicks and being the reason DX was over, and I'm out. Wait, Scott comes over and they argue with each other until Tenay cuts it off.

AMW storm the ring! Harris says they were America's Unknown when TNA started, but they have busted their butts and given the fans 110% every single time. He says they held off every team for 16 weeks, and they got back up when the NC knocked them down! He says Triple X needed 3 on 2 to beat them, and they want the rematch TONIGHT. Storm says he worked for 9 years to reach this point and he wants them to fight them like men. SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK. BG, Sanders, Disco, and the Nazis come out and attack them in the ring for a really awful beat-down, BUT THE ROCK AND ROLL EXPRESS MAKE THE SAVE. THE CROWD LOSES IT, AND IF YOU LISTEN CLOSE YOU CAN HEAR DUSTY CRY. THEY ATTACK AMW WITH CHAIRS AND CELEBRATE WITH SEX. Have to imagine Dusty made sure this happened so they wouldn't be more over than him like in the 80's.

Match#3 Ron "The Truth" Killings vs Mike Sanders
Truth at least gets the better dance partner than Lynn did. Sanders is fine enough, just really ABOVE AVERAGE. Truth is the best, as we know. Sanders goes after the leg and its pretty fun work, with some awesome Truth selling. Tenay and DW debate if Truth has joined SEX. Don thinks its bullshit, so stupid Tenay thinks he has. Truth's comeback is awesome and he has it won, and on the outside Lynn attacks David and takes the sack and gets in the ring, SO TRUTH KNEES HIM BECAUSE HE CAN'T TRUST HIM, AND SANDERS ROLLS HIM UP FOR 3.
**3/4

Lynn and Truth go nose to nose and shove each other, but no shots are thrown. This is actually a really cool story. Quite scary if I'm being honest.

Backstage, Ricky Morton says back when he was kissing girls, being the first team with music an pryo, he knew was SEX was before any of the kids were born. Fuck yeah, Ricky. Bullet runs over and makes them vs AMW tonight. Ok, lets see how this goes.

AJ makes his way out to the ring, wearing the amazing "X-STYLES" Shirt. He wants to know what else he has to do to become a World champion. He says he's not with Mortimer or Russo/SEX. He is the MAC DADDY of the X-Division, but he's been there and done that and he wants the World title. He beat Truth in a match, beat Jeff all over the building, and beat Larry last week. He'd beat him 3 times if he had to fight him again. He's not leaving until he has the title. Raven's voice comes over and asks AJ if he's been paying attention. because he needs to ask HIM for a world title shot. Raven doesn't think he's ready for it, and maybe he should go back to the X-Division and not fight someone of his calibre. AJ asks if Raven has a syringe in his skirt, or if he's happy to see him. RAVEN FIRES BACK BY CALLING HIM ELTON' JOHN'S LIFE PARTNER WEARING AN AN NSYNC STARTER KIT. AJ IS MAD BECAUSE WE KNOW HE'S NOT A FAN OF EITHER ONE. AJ says to avoid any humiliation, hand over the title, crawl to the SEX locker room and SHOOT UP A LITTLE MORE HEROIN. JESUS CHRIST, AJ IS NOW GOOD ON THE MIC. RAVEN TAKES THE BELT OFF AND LAYS IT DOWN BETWEEN THEM AND DARES AJ TO TAKE IT. DW SAYS ITS ON, AND THEY GO NOSE TO NOSE. Refs pull them apart, AND JEFF NOW RUNS IN AND DECKS AJ. HE GETS RAVEN AS WELL, AND KILLS AJ WITH THE STROKE. HE TAKES HIS BELT BACK AND STANDS TALL.

Holy fuck, that was amazing. This is the best feud in the company after one week.

Larry Zbyszko walks out in trunks and confronts a hurt AJ. He says AJ reminds him of a young Larry. 29 years ago he had all the talent, but none of the knowledge yet. Larry says he heard him say he could beat him 3 times, and he needs to know he could have the life of a wrestling star with money and cars and women. All he has to do is go through the school of hard knocks. Larry says if he beats him twice in ten minutes, he'll get him a shot. AJ says this isn't the Christmas story moron, so no. Larry slaps the piss out of him, and shit is on

Match#4 AJ Styles vs Larry Zbyszko (Ten Minute Challenge)
AJ is fucking pissed and mauls Larry in amazing fashion, and more than makes up for last week where he got his ass kicked and had to cheat to beat him. AJ breaks out the amazing punches and shit talk, and Larry can still take a beating like few legends can. HE SNATCHES AJ IN MID AIR WITH AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH AND DRAGS HIM DOWN FOR A PIN. He keeps it locked in and wreaks AJ's neck with some insane stretching. AJ keeps getting cut off and beaten, and unlike last week it works with the story they're now telling. Larry does an amazing job of being pissed off at this kid for getting his ass kicked, but starts to look more proud when he fights back. AJ evens it up with a flash Stylin DDT, and we finally get a clock showing 4 minutes left. AJ's bad brain makes him see red and Larry is still able to maintain control. Mortimer now comes out and helps AJ get to the ropes, and he hands him some knucks. Larry is able to cut off the bullshit because he's been there and done that, so AJ is forced to to fight back by the right way. Mortimer puts a chair in the corner and AJ takes a header into it, and barley kicks out of a rollup and the times expires.
***

Probably overrating it, but the story being told of AJ being forced to do it the right way and not cheat to do it, is killer. So, fuck it, its getting 3.

Mortimer is very mad, and Tenay says this is a blessing in disguise for AJ, he just doesn't know it yet.

Goldy is in the ring and brings out super fat, Percy Pringle for an interview (i thought he was gone), but NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, TONY SCHIVAONE MAKES HIS DEBUT AND TURNS HEEL



DIAMOND HARD FOR TONY CALLING TENAY OUT FOR BEING THE FUCKING WORST.

Recap of Sonny being a dick.

Match#5 Sonny Siaki & Desiree vs Kid Kash & Trinity
Kash/Sonny is actually pretty fun, and not the botched filled mess i was expecting. Trinity looks good again, so its only Desiree who sucks. This means she gets the control seg and ruins any good will. Fucking fuck. Athena attacks hits her and Trinity steals the win
1/2*

WWE is running Trish/Victoria, and this is what you counter with. Russo sucks, man.

Tony comes back down and shits on Tenay for knowing the names of moves, and having sluts interfere in matches. He tries to talk to him about facing Red next week, but fucking Konnan attacks Sonny with a cane and leaves him laying. He screams at Tenay that he'll give him an interview. Until LAX debut, i have no time for K-DAWG.

Backstage, Jeff says he knows he's a marked man when he has the title, and by the end of the night it will come down to him and Russo. NO. It will be you and Raven. Speaking of, can't wait for Raven to win the belt and hold it for a year. Should be a perfect story...

Match#6 America's Most Wanted vs Rock and Roll Express
Its not 1985 anymore, but RNRX don't make fools of themselves by any means. Helps that AMW are amazing and do the heavy lifting for them. Storm does this by dying for them in the control seg, and Harris does it when he bounces them over the place and not killing them. They have Ricky dead with the DS, but Skipper clobbers Storm in the skull with the belts and the old fellas steal it
**1/4

THE NEW CHURCH MAKE THEIR RETURN AND MURDER AMW AND SKIPPER. HELL YES. THE FANS CHANT EVIL EVIL EVIL.

NEXT WEEK. LYNN VS TRUTH VS DAVID VS SANDERS. SONNY VS RED. KONNAN SPEAKS. TRIPLE X DEFENDS AGAINST NEW CHURCH.

Backstage, Tony is with Raven and Russo. Vince demands Jeff puts the belt on the line next week, BUT RAVEN WANTS IT RIGHT NOW IF JEFF HAS THE BALLS. JEFF STORMS SEX'S LOCKER ROOM AND FIGHTS THEM ALL. HE KILLS RAVEN WITH THE TRASH CAN AGAIN, AND RAVEN IS SUCH AN AMAZING PINBALL FOR ALL OF THIS. RUSSO PULLS JEFF LEGS AND RAVEN NAILS THE EVENFLOW. HE HITS JEFF WITH THE DROP-TOE-HOLD ON THE CHAIR (SO, JEFF CAN NOW BE BLIND LIKE RIGGS) THEY FIGHT ON TOP AND JEFF GORDBUSTERS RAVEN THROUGH A TABLE AND LAYS HIM OUT WITH THE BELT, AND SAYS NEXT WEEK HE'LL PUT IT ON THE LINE. RUSSO GETS IN HIS FACE, BUT AJ KICKS DOUBLE J IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL, AND KILLS HIM WITH A STROKE. HE PICKS UP THE BELT AND KISSES IT, BEFORE LEAVING WITH IT.

My God, what an episode.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: SONNY SIAKI. Since-11/12/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-22/1/03

NWA-TNA PPV#30
February 5th, 2003
TNA Asylum

TONIGHT: SONNY VS AMAZING RED. TRIPLE X VS NEW CHURCH.

We go to the ring where we find a dapper looking Larry Zybsko holding the stolen World championship. He says last week he got himself back into the limelight by playing the game of human chess! He says the title rightly belongs to Mr Jarrett, and he wants him to let him know man to man that he's knows how impressed Jeff is of AJ Styles. (i didn't mess up transcribing, Larry just speaks weird and jumps all around) AJ has more than held his own every time they've been in the ring together, and the only mark against him is he couldn't beat Larry in a stacked deck he didn't even know he was playing. So, in the name of TRADITION he is demanding Jeff give a title shot to AJ Styles. Jeff makes his way out, and says the title is his, and all AJ needs to do is ask for a shot like a man and he can have one when he does. He demands the belt back, so Larry rants about the school of hard knocks and Jeff storms the ring, but AJ decks him from behind and beats the piss out of him. Larry drags him off and it lets Jeff take over and beat him down. Jeff decks Larry and takes the belt back, THEN A BUNCH OF GUYS IN ARMY CAMOUFLAGE STORM THE RING AND KILL JEFF. What the fuck, Russo? They drag him back to the SEX locker room, which gives it away, and leads us to wonder why the had to dress up when they're the top heel group. Wait, i know why. LOLTNA

Match#1 Jorge Estrada vs Disco Inferno w/Mike Sanders
As i said in the last review, he's going by his real name but i'm not calling him that. He's not some incredible wrestler that deserves such treatment, he's a moron that made us laugh once or twice. He's wrestling in the camouflage and Sanders is wearing a general's uniform with a ski mask. This is horrible, and i want to take another two week break. Jorge is dreadful as always, and Disco is Disco. He can be carried by better men as history has shown us, but not tonight. Jorge gets the win with a backslide
1/2*

Post match, the heels beat him up and steal his Elvis gimmick. I think that shit is finally dead

Backstage, Goldy yells at Bullet about Jeff being taken. He rightly claps back at her, and says this has gone beyond wrestling. He says he will make damn sure they won't get away with it, before he realises talking to Goldy is pointless. Yeah, fuck her.

The lights go out and SEX's music plays and when they come back on, Disco is attempting to fix his mask so we can't see its him, AND POOR DW HAS TO PRETEND HE DOESN'T KNOW ITS HIM. LOLTNA Russo says this is operation SEX. They took the leader, the army is next, then the fans are last. Russo says Jeff is fine because he loves him and he's doing this for his own good. Russo is Jeff's kids uncle, and for Jeff's entire life people have been trying to live through him. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. nice one dude. Russo says Disco in his charge of character developmental, before he goes through all of Jeff's gimmicks and says Jeff has never known who he is, but Russo knows he is his friend. He then demands Disco develop Jeff's character to the point where he flushes tradition down the drain. Disco walks down the stairs and Dusty waddles over and elbows his stupid head off. Dusty gets in the ring and Russo leaves.

The big man picks up the mic and says some thugs have been doing abducting and it needs to stop. He brings up telling the kids to stand up and fight the bullshit, so he wants Lynn, Truth, Red and AMW to come out here right now. They answer the call and come out to the ring. Dusty says they all represent the best of tradition, if you wheel. He says a black man didn't win the world title, A MAN won the world title, and he wants them to take back the asylum, and Truth needs to be the leader. Dusty says he's going to find Jeff, and they're in charge. Dusty saved that shitshow. Good for him.

Match#2 Sonny Siaki (c) w/ Desire vs. Amazing Red (NWA-TNA X Division Championship)
Red is all by himself as the others have left him alone, which is what Dusty told them NOT to do. Son of a bitch. Red carries Jinder's mediocre brother to a really fun match, and the best Sonny one since the Lynn miracle. All his offence is amazing, as is his bumping and selling for Sonny. To Sonny's credit, he does work as hard he can to hold up his end. Its not great, but given his normal work, I'll happily take it. Red's makes Sonny's attempted Punk/Joe rail bump look amazing for the first time by taking a gross header into the announce table. Go, Red, go. His comeback rules of course, and it looks like he's going to end this horrible push, but Desire proves the difference. She trips him and Sonny hits his neckbreaker, but to the shock of everyone TNA lets Red kick out of it to look strong. Red mounts a small comeback and goes for the Infrared, but Desire shoves him down and Sonny hits an Island Driver to steal it
***
Post match, Red goes after her so Sonny beat him down, until Kash and Trinity make the save. Oh, i forgot about that feud.

That was a lot of fun. Can't wait for the rematch where Red rightly win the belt and take his place at the top of the division.

Recap of Konnan attacking people with a cane. Of all the horrible people Russo attached himself to and bought to TNA, K-Dawg is the worst of the lot imo.

Tenay interviews the idiot. He rants about the X-Division stealing from the Luchadors and himself. Konnan talks about how he was a megastar (actually true, but lets not give him anything) but WCW didn't push him to his full potential. He then says everyone in wrestling is racist and the Latinos have never been treated correctly or fairly. He's not wrong at all, but its Konnan. Find a better voice if you want me to care.

Backstage, Goldy continues to piss BA off by asking dumb questions. BG walks over and says he's worried about his daddy, so Bullet says he should worry about himself and the surprise waiting for him in the ring.

BG walks out to find Tenacious Z aka Zach Gowen is the surprise. That's not's a good surprise, Bullet.

Match#3 BG James vs Tenacious Z
A meth addict is fighting a man with one leg in a company booked by Vince Russo. LOLTNA has never felt more fitting. Gowen isn't good when he's not being obliterated by Brock, or having Big Show stiff him after Gowen said he didn't feel like bumping for him "Motherfucker, I'll make you bump" So, what little chance this had of being good is now forever gone. He does try to bump like madman,but given the dogshit BG serves up, it doesn't work out well. James keeps being a dickhead and yelling at his brother, so Scott kicks him in the dick and Gowen rolls him up for 3
Johnny Ace hiring the wrong one legged wrestler

Raven attacks Gowen post match until the refs drag him to safety. Raven says AJ has HIS property and AJ needs to bring it to him right now. AJ is a mere gardener in the garden of life, while Raven is walking a road very few would dare to go down. Pain is a bridge on that road that carries travellers over dark waters of deceit and scorn.Debt is found on this road and each debt requires a sacrifice, and its AJ turn to sacrifice. AJ walks out on the stage and Raven says unless he's a pussy of the greatest magnitude, he will come down here and give him is his property. Raven says AJ hasn't beaten anyone until he walks down Raven's clockwork fun house, YOU ARROGANT LITTLE PUSSY. QUOTH THE RAVEN, NEVERMORE. AJ STORMS THE RING AND THEY HAVE A WONDERFUL FIGHT. AJ out quick's him and really beats the piss out of him, so Raven has to awesomely fight dirty to take back over. He kicks him in the balls, AND FLASHBACKS TO 98 BY BREAKING AJ'S FINGERS. He steals the belt back and runs off into the crowd, as Larry gets into the ring with some blackshirts and refs to check on AJ. That was amazing.

Backstage, Bullet is trying to speak to New Church, but Goldy again bothers him, so he finally screams at her that he has a wife that bitches at him at home, so he doesn't need any more of that shit. AMW walk over and demand their rematch, so Father James says they'll give them a rematch...bathed in their blood. Bullet breaks it up and says AMW have the next shot regardless of who wins.

Recap of the Lynn/Truth vs SEX saga.

Match#4 Ron "The Truth" Killings vs Jerry Lynn vs Mike Sanders vs David Flair (Elimination Match)
Stip makes no sense given the story of Lynn not trusting Truth, which should lead to a tag match and not this. Its made worse when they work it as such with them tagging each other in. TNA just has to overbook everything. Truth gets isolated and its not very good, because, hey, these aren't good wrestlers. Lynn keep fucking up trying to save him, and DW says this all part of the doubt SEX has created. Don should book the entire company. Lynn finally gets in and that's not very good, but it thankfully doesn't last long. Jorge runs down and dropkicks Sanders behind the refs back and Lynn pins him. David does horrible things before Lynn rolls him to get rid of him/ Truth and Jerry finally fight for 10 seconds before Flair breaks the sack over Lynn's shitty skull and Truth wins
3/4*

DW is now worried Truth really is with SEX.

Post match, Truth tries to help Lynn up, but he shoves him off and they argue until Truth leaves.

Backstage, awful Goldy accuses Triple X of stealing the belts. Skipper says they're family, and sings the song. Ki agrees about them being family. Awww. They leave the scene, and Desire walks over to make fun of Goldy's breast implants. Russo is a bastard man.

Match#5 Trinity w/Kash vs Desire w/Sonny
Oh, no. This is some Russo bullshit, that you just know he thought was amazing. Sonny smacks Trinity in the face with the belt and we get a HORRIBLE control seg. Trinity's comeback is not good at all. None of this is good. Knowing TNA gets really fucking good at a point is the only reason I'm still here. Trinity wins with the Moonsualt
1/2*

Match#6 Triple X (Skipper/Ki) (c) vs New Church w/Father James (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
New Church are now faces and beat the snot out of Triple X for being shitheads. Awesome ringside brawl to kick us off, and its nice to see Lee still trying hard as possible. SLASH HITS AN AWESOME FLYING ELBOW OFF THE STEEL STEPS. Love that man. He keeps killing it, and them and the fans chant EVIL, EVIL, EVIL. They keep kicking the hell out of them until Slash finally gets isolated after Ki throws the ref into him. Great work from the fellas as always, and Slash is a cool fip. DW sells how wild these teams are by saying he nearly died in the booth when they fought near him. Bless this king. Lee's hot tag isn't bad at all. Helps that Triple X die for him, but give the man credit. Shit breaks down as it tends to and the fuckery hits. Lee kicks out of a chair shot to the skull when he tries to chokeslam Ki off the top. Slash then drops Skipper on the chair and he kicks out. The ref then gets bumped off a Ki kick, and more nonsense happens as Slash and Ki get pins on the others and two refs count 3 for that awful fucking finish
**3/4

The tired as "ref raises each mans hand and an argument breaks out" shit happens. Scott Armstrong then runs out and holds the belts up. Fucking hell, Russo. After all of this shit, AMW rush the ring and beat the shit out Triple X until two dudes in Army camo join in the fight. Russo comes out in an army helmet and face paint, and i now wish someone would go Full Metal Jacket on him. SEX gets the best of the fight for a while, and a wild Jerry Lynn joins in the fight. This is just big horrible mess. Hhahahahahahaha, one of the army dudes takes a breather on the steps and waits for Slash to punch him. I'm dying, ladies and germs. It keeps going and going because Russo is a little kid playing the same movie over and over again, and refuses to turn it off. Fucking child. people like Jorge, Kash and Trinity join and try to turn the tide, but they all get dropped. Red is now fighting, and Harris is trying to throw Ki off the balcony. Bullet runs out AND HE CLEANS HOUSE ON OF THEM, AND TENAY SAYS THE NWA HAS STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE. I have no words.

FINALLY they all fight off as Raven comes through the crowd and gets into the ring in an attempt to save this. He has the stolen title over his shoulder, as we are forced to go back to the fight where Bullet is beating his son up. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Russo makes Raven join the brawl like a fucking dork. SEX locks the faces in the locker room, and its finally over.

Russo now gets on the mic just to make things a little worse. He says now its time to come after the fans, and its time for the war. He keeps calling Mike, Col Sanders in an actual funny bit. I now hope they get sued for copyright. One member of SEX stands in the ring with Sanders and Russo, and we see Disco on the stage in his boxers. BAW GAWD THAT MASKED MAN IS DOUBLE J. He attacks Russo to end the show.

Well, that was a dumpster fire of an episode.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

WA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: SONNY SIAKI. Since-11/12/02
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: VACANT

NWA-TNA PPV#31
February 12th, 2003
TNA Asylum

R.I.P Mr Perfect.
DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS

We see footage after TNA went off the air last week: Raven beat the piss out of Jeff who was tied to the ropes. The rest of SEX whipped him with belts, until the faces saved him.

Coming from that, that pesky shithead Tenay is in the ring. He says Bullet has asked for a leave of absence because he feels the situation is too dangerous. Tenay introduces the new man in charge, a former top adviser of WCW and WWF, one of the founding father of the Four Horseman, JJ Dillon! Sadly, SEX's shitty music hits and they come out to the ring and stand over Tenay. Russo calls JJ a piece of shit. OH MAN, ITS ANOTHER SHOOTZ. JJ tried to get him fired, Russo was a victim. USA Today. You know the score. JJ fires back by calling him a liar and saying he quit the WWF like a man, unlike Russo who quit when Vince was in the UK and never did it face to face. Fuck yeah, JJ. Russo lays down in the ring pretending to sleep as this is going on, and he says this boring. So, stop booking it, you loudmouth cock. The Nazis try to get to him, BUT THE GODDAMN SANDMAN MAKES THE SAVE WITH THE CANE. HARDCORE HAK SAVED HIS OLD BOSS. WHAT A GUY. He does the pose and the fans lose it.

At the booth, DW wins my heart forever when he says to wait until Raven finds out his old nemesis is here. We also see footage of the tag fuckery from last week leading to the bullshit we have now. Tenay says there will be a tag tournament and the winners face Triple X for the belts.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs The Rock n' Roll Express (Round 1)
Nice to see TNA remembered this is a feud, and it would make sense to continue it. Must have been a Jeff call, not a Russo one AMW bump around for the old boys and its good times. Storm's hot tag is ever improving as the weeks go on, and RNRX do a good job of dying for him as best they can. AMW break out the double dropkick as a fuck you, before Harris beats Morton with a Perfect-Plex
**1/4

Low Ki rushes the ring and murders AMW with the belts, and screams they belong to him.

In the car park, Goldy decides to being an annoying goof to Russo (I can't wait for her heel turn, so Shelly can show up) Vince paces back and forth and ignores her, until Raven walks in and Russo demands to know why his old buddy is his here. Raven has an AMAZING character moment when he dejectedly sighs, drops his head and brushes his hair back, because he knows how this will go. Sandman runs out the door with the cane and swings at Raven's head, but he ducks it and bolts to the SEX locker room and locks the door. Sandman lights a smoke and joins the crowd in in the nosebleeds. That ruled so much. Also, its important to note this is the start of Raven's past coming back to haunt him and hindering his journey towards destiny.

Match#2 The Harris Brothers vs The New Church w/Father James (Round 1)
Oh, God. TNA pulling this shit when they have TWO great teams, one good one, and a whole mountain of shit is some LOLTNA. They do the ringside brawl and once again, the Nazis shit the bed in an environment that so many can do well in. Slash tries his heart out to save it, but its no good. BUT FUCK ALL OF THAT, TENAY ANNOUNCES JJ HAS MADE JEFF VS AJ FOR THE TITLE NEXT WEEK. Also, Raven vs Sandman will main event tonight. JJ is the best guy. Oh, the Nazis win with the H-Bomb after Ki helps out.
1/2*

Hype video for Sonny/Kash. I might have forgotten this was happening, or TNA neglected to mention it.

JB does the intros in a super serious way, and its gets me slightly hyped. So, good for him

Match#3 Sonny Siaki (c) w/Desire vs Kid Kash (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
INDY STANDOFF TO START. Oh, joy, just what we need. Been a second since i said RVD/Lynn can fuck off, but always good to be bring it back up. They move into some stuff, and Kash takes some big bumps for the idiot and Sonny tries as hard as he can, so its not bad. The ladies eventually fight into the ring for the fuckery. Kash gets crotched on top and Sonny attempts something, but he gets pushed off, AND KASH FUCKS UP A MOONSAULT AND TAKES A HEADER INTO THE MAT, AND HIS LEGS KIND OF HIT SONNY AND THAT GETS THE 3.
*3/4

I wrote in the 02 review that Sonny's career ended because he gave his kidney to his sister. Its such a selfless act and i love the guy for it, but that doesn't change the fact he's a bad wrestler and this push was a horrible mistake. TNA decided to fix the mistake by getting the belt off him was the right one, but picking a very hit and miss Kash over Red is serious bullshit. Fuck it, least its over.

TNA is now doing INTEGRATION where they interview a wrestler. Truth is up first
Favourite Match: All of them
Snoop or Eminem. Eminem
Favourite tag partner: BG James
Desire or Trinity: Trinity
Ron or Don: He does't like either of them
Word Association
Vince McMahon: Asshole,
Jesse Jackson: can we all just get along?
BG James: Traitor.
Micheal Jackson: King of pop
Jeff Jarrett: Crazy as hell
True or False:White men can't jump - true.
Tenay asks him if he's joining TNA and screams FUCK YOU, I ALREADY TOLD YOU, BEFORE STORMING OFF.

Backstage, Disco and Sanders try to come up with gimmicks for Goldy. Fuck off, or die.

Match#4 Ron "The Truth" Killings, Jorge Estrada & Tenacious Z vs BG James, Mike Sanders & Disco Inferno
Jesus fucking Christ, what a criminal use of Truth. Why not run him vs Lynn. You know, the thing you've been building for the last 6 weeks. Dumb assholes. Truth of course tries because he knows nothing else, and they haven't broken him yet. Doesn't help when you have this much shit to clean and carry, but respect for trying. Jorge get isolated and that's not good at all. Gowen has a fun hot tag before he gets isolated, and it turns rotten again. Truth's hot tag rules and he gets a point for trying his heart out. He beats Sanders with the LD.
*1/2

Backstage, Goldy is with Raven. He doesn't understand why Sandman is back for some revenge. After all, he was separated (got to keep them) from his wife when Raven took her. Also, its not his fault Tyler left his dad for Raven because he knew he would be a better father than that the drunk. EVERY TIME HE GOES SOMEWHERE, SANDMAN SHOWS UP AND CAUSES HAVOC. ITS A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT. Raven notices a car pull up and asks what now, AND AJ JUMPS OUT AND RUSHES HIM. THEY HAVE ANOTHER AMAZING FIGHT. AJ THROWS AMAZING ONE HANDED PUNCHES BECAUSE HIS HAND IS STILL FUCKED UP FROM LAST WEEK, Blackshirts pull him off. That was amazing.

We see RNRX beaten up backstage.

Tenay announces Sandman/Raven is now falls count anywhere.

Tenay interviews David Flair

NEVERMIND THAT SHIT: GOLDY IS WITH THE KING OF OLD SCHOOL, STEVE CORINO. He has answered the call to defend the NWA against SEX. He says he takes Low Ki to Japan every two weeks and he thought he had the same respect for the old school as him (HIGH SPOT), but its clear he doesn't. Hanging out with SEX is disrespecting Pro Wrestling, and ALL the legends on his back. Dusty. Flair, Funk, Briscoe etc. He will beat the respect back in him and bring him back to the sport of pro wrestling. He's here to destroy SEX and save wrestling. He ends it by calling Goldy "Baby Doll" My god, i fucking love that man.

Match#5 Low Ki vs Steve Corino
Dream match! Corino beats the fuck out of him in amazing fashion, and KI has to get dirty to gain anything. Corino firing up the crowd, fucking rules. Ki takes his head his off with a kick and beats the piss out of him in revenge. It turns into a nasty fight and i love it so, so much. Corino flawlessly plays a babyface, and Ki is a perfect shithead asshole. Corino's comeback rules and he looks SO good. If TNA was run by competent people, he would have been hired on the spot. He has it won after a Neckbreaker, so Ki eye pokes the ref for the DQ. Give me a fucking rematch, you dicks.
***

Corino murders him in revenge and they have a fun fight, before AMW run down and chase Ki off. New Church then run Ki off in the crowd, and we get a staredown between them and AMW.

Backstage, Lynn says something about putting Russo over, and i now want to die. He says he's bringing back the X-Division to the top of the company. Not without your dance partner, dude.

Match#6 Shark Boy vs Joel Maximo, Jose Maximo vs David Young vs Jimmy Rave vs Tony Mamalluke vs Paul London vs Jerry Lynn (#1 Contenders Gauntlet match)
London! I forgot he worked here for second before going to WWE. Shark vs Jose is first. Lasts maybe 90 seconds before Shark wins with a top rope Stunner called Deep Sea Diver. Joel is in next, and he's not much better than his brother. He gets some shine, and its fine enough thanks to Sharky. Shark nails another DSD to get rid of him. Rave is in next. He's a house of fire again, and has a fun fight with Sharky. He counters the DSD with a Cradle Driver. Mama is in next, and he beats Rave in a minute with a nasty headrop suplex. Fuck. DY gets in next and picks my spirits up by being awesome. Mama woks his knee and we get some great selling from a guy who should have won the title. He catches Mama coming off the top with his sick Spinebuster to get rid of him. Lynn is next. DY's leg hinders him from really beating the crap out of the old man, but what we do get is great. Lynn does his job well and doesn't offend me. He keeps going for the leg to cut him off, and he eventually taps him out with an STF. London is in next. Dude's insane as we all know, so this bangs. Lynn hangs back and lets the kid show off in the correct choice. London gets to really belt the piss out of the old man, and to his credit Lynn bumps well for him. Lynn gets his knees up for the London Star Press and the kid is badly hurt. Lynn swarms him quick because he knows he might be fucked. Cradle does the job
**3/4

Sharky, Rave and SAT come out and raise Lynn's hand. YO, LET ME SPEAK ON THIS. Oh, no. He comes out and calls Jerry "Mr JL" and yells him at doing Lucha matches and stealing from his people. He again says the X-Division is stealing from the Luchadors, and you can't save what's bullshit. Lynn's CTE kicks into overdrive when he says he used to make the Luchadors look good. (Somewhere, Simon is punching Andy) Konnan says without Lucha you would have nothing but kicks and closelines. Lynn says Konnan couldn't be a high flyer like Juvi, Psychosis and Rey. Konnan says he doesn't need any of that to sell out arenas. He gives a signal and the SAT attack Lynn and leave everyone laying. They jump the rail and come face to face with Russo. Vince blows him for horrible reasons, and Konnan walks away from him.

Backstage, Jorge says words. Truth thankfully comes over and says he showed everyone the truth, and he's not answering anyone anymore. He walks out the door and we see a dead Sanders and Disco. (I have no memory of who did this. That's a scary thing)

NEXT WEEK. JEFF JARRETT VS AJ STYLES FOR THE NWA WORLDS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP.

Match#7 Raven vs The Sandman (Falls Count Anywhere)
Tenay covers the history and its all correct, but it hurts my soul to hear this fucking nimrod talking about one of my favourite feuds ever. They get right to it because Raven is the master of laying these out. They use a guardrail and Raven takes a nasty Drop-Toe-Hold into it. He bleeds like a stuck pig (camera catches him gigging it. fucking TNA) They have a nasty, ugly fight and its just a ton of fun. Really my type of jam. They have the AB and its of course amazing, because, hey, this is their thing. Raven beats the fuck out of him for a while, and that's great shit as always. Sandman kills him with the classic Drop-Toe-Hold onto the chair, and his drunk sloppy comeback is the best. They fight back into the crowd and Sandman sets Raven up for a dive off the balcony, but that pesky little shit, Ki throws him off the top through a table and Raven steals it
***

Ki tries to get Raven out of there, but Corino attacks him from behind! Another awesome fight breaks out between them, and the NC randomly throw Raven back over the rail. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Sandman joins back in and the awesome brawl continues. SEX join in and start killing them with Plunda. They tie them to the ropes like they did to Jeff and go for the straps, BUT JEFF RUNS DOWN WITH A CANE AND CLEANS HOUSE! The NC join in and run SEX off. AJ RUNS DOWN AND TACKLES JEFF AND BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. HE MURDERS HIM WITH THE STYLES CLASH ON A CHAIR TO CLOSE THE SHOW. SEE YOU ON THUNDER.

Holy shit, that was 90% of a fantastic episode. The TNA special at work, ladies and germs.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: VACANT

NWA-TNA PPV#32
February 19th, 2003
TNA Asylum

We open with a killer video covering Raven's debut and all the hell he's unleashed on TNA with his feuds with Jeff and AJ, and everything that has lead us to this point. One of the best videos TNA has done thus far. Maybe THE best. In fact, video promos/hype is the one of things they never fucked up, and they deserve credit for it.

TONIGHT JEFF JARRETT VS AJ STYLES FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

Goldy is standing in the car park waiting for Jeff to arrive. She says no one has seen him since last week, NEVERMIND THAT SHIT. AJ DRIVES UP AND GETS OUT WITH VINCE RUSSO. AJ walks past her, and Russo gets out with that incredible smug fuck smile. Oh, that ruled. Its another beautiful layer in an already great story of what AJ is really up to, and how Russo fits into it all.

Match#1 America's Most Wanted vs The Harris Brothers (#1 Contenders Match)
AMW are tasked with carry these fucking dropkicks, and they do it as well as you'd expect. DW and Tenay are too focused on AJ and Russo, don't really call the match . One of those little things that i hate. AMW lead the Nazis by the hand through the ringside brawl and actually make them do decent things, instead of being lazy fucks. Control seg on Harris is fine enough, and TNA actually changes shit up by having Harris catch a flash rollup to win.
**
I'm excited for another AMW/Triple X match, don't get me wrong. But, the way we're getting there is fucking stupid and just serves to drive me up the wall. Fucking TNA.

Goldy is backstage with Russo and SEX. She tries to find out if AJ is with them, but Russo is too busy yelling at the Nazis for losing to answer her bullshit.

At the booth, Tenay rants about AJ turning his back on the company that made him. Actual good stuff from the smug little cunt, I'll be damned. Russo comes down to the ring and demands Mike get into the ring so he can get the answers he wants. Russo says he sat the kid down and told him about the REAL Jeff Jarrett and what he's really all about, and how he doesn't care about tradition. He SHOOTZ again about the guys he made, and i fucking refuse.. Dusty comes out to save this shit, if you wheel. Tenay hugs him (probably rock hard) and the big man lays into Russo, if you wheel. He wants him to understand this is ALL about tradition, but he doesn't care about SEX. Well, some people might care about SEX, but not Russo's kind. The fans chants "Russo Sucks" and Dusty says he better stand back because he's an old man and didn't bring his viagra with him. TNA Dusty is the best. He says he can't allow Russo to ruin AJ's life, like he has done to so many others. HE BRINGS UP THE MIDGET BEATING OFF IN THE TRASH CAN AGAIN, AND SAYS THAT WAS REAL CREATIVE. He says very soon Russo will be out of the business, and Dusty will still be standing. Russo wonders why Dusty hates him so much. He doesn't think it was bringing back Nikita. No, it was Dustin Rhodes who lead us here. He says the Natural sucked and no one gave a shit about him, but when Goldust was born and became a bigger star than Dusty! He says he was a better father than Dusty ever was, and it was his shoulder Dustin cried on for years and years. (Dusty looks legit heartbroken at that) DUSTY SNAPS AT HIM AND BACKS HIM INTO THE CORNER. He says Russo's daddy must not have hit him with a belt, so Dusty will do it for him. The Nazis attack Dusty before he can do it, BUT BIG VAN VADER RUNS OUT AND BEATS THE PISS OUT OF THEM. Dusty helps out and they stand tall as they fans loose it. Dusty challenges them to a tag match next week, and Russo accepts. Awesome segment.

Backstage, some dude who won the chance to interview a wrestler is standing by with Lynn. He says London is facing Kash for the belt tonight, and Lynn says the kid deserves the chance at it. He moves onto Konnan and calls him a cancer to the X-Division.

Match#2 Jerry Lynn vs Joel Maximo vs Jose Maximo
Mike says Lynn postponned his title shot for later on because he wants revenge. K-Dawg joins commentary for some bullshit my ears don't need. S.A.T beat Lynn down for a while and its pretty good. Jerry is able to fight back when he throw one out and that's pretty fun as well. He takes on brother out and beats the other with a Cradle.
**1/2

K-Dawg gets in the ring and Lynn jumps out before he can fight.

We find Raven sitting with Goldy. He has "SANDMAN MUST DIE" painted on his chest, and he looks more insane than normal. He was a sad bitter lonely child, and he had a void he couldn't fit. His childhood was horrible. Bullied by the other kids, his parents told him he was a mistake and they only ever wanted his sister. (Raven's ever expanding history is the best) One day he met a beautiful loving woman named Lori, and she had a son and they become his family, and it was the happiest time of his life that made all his pain worth it. UNTIL SANDMAN TOOK THEM BACK FROM HIM. HE WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT. HE WANTS HIM TO KNOW HURT, PAIN AND HUMILIATION. HE WANTS HIM TO WAKE UP AND PRAY FOR DIVINE INTERVENTION TO END HIS LIFE. RAVEN HAS LEARNT TO LIVE WITH THE PAIN AND HE LOOKS FORWARD TO IT. HE WALKS THROUGH HORROR WITH KISSES FROM MURDEROUS GODS. WALK WITH HIM THROUGH PATHS OF HATRED AND CRUELTY. WALK THROUGH THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE. QUOTH, THE RAVEN NEVERMORE.

Raven walks off and we see Russo speaking to Sonny. He says Sonny is his ace in the hole and he needs to get the job done. Russo tries to get in his car but Mortimer Plumbtree runs over and speaks to him, and we cut away.

In the ring, Disco speaks about gimmicks. Still waiting for him to fuck off or die. He brings out his new gimmick

You cunts.

Match#3 Shark Boy vs Disgraceland
Fuck off

A really great video airs about Jeff Jarrett's journey to this point.

Backstage, JJ is heartbroken at AJ siding with Russo. Really fantastic stuff from what of the most underrated talkers. Larry Z walks over and promises to find out the truth. Better make sure he doesn't find THE Truth...heh. Tough crowd.

Match#4 Kid Kash (c) w/Trinity vs Paul London (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
London gets to show off how much he rules, and its a ton of fun. Kash smartly hangs back and lets him shine with his insane offence and bumping. Its easy to forgot how GREAT London actually was due to him being out of the spotlight for years, but everyone needs to see him in his glory before he lost his mind. Kash uses his brain and waits for him to crash and burn, so he can take over. Good shit from that control seg and the finishing run is fun times. Flash nasty looking Moneymaker ends it. I say nasty because London took it on the side of his head. Like i said, he's fucking insane
***
Kash raises his hand post match.

Backstage, SEX argue about whose in charge. Russo re-doing the NWO-B team storyline, just what we need.

Earlier today, Tenay interviewed some douchebag from Tough Enough.

Match#5 Mike Sanders w/Disco Inferno & Unnamed Woman vs Jonah
Jonah is said TE douchebag. This is his first ever match, so its bad from his end. Sanders is fine and stuff, just not a good sqausher. Its a fine art and very few can do it well. Even my all time favourite, Mick Foley struggled with it. The kid gets a little bit of offence and it ain't good. Sanders wins
1/2*

Interrogation with Sandman
Toughest Opponent - Raven
Bud or Bud Lite - Alcohol.
Pick a tag partner - Don't want to.
Cools or Camels - Non-filtered.
Steel Chairs or tables - lions and tigers and bears oh my
Piercings or Tattoos - both
AJ or Jarrett - Jarrett.
Franchine or Missy Hyatt - ALL WOMEN.
Word Association -
Paul Heyman - Character.
Terry Funk - walking living legend.
Russo - don't know him.
Hardcore Wrestling - Sandman.
Raven - Sandman.

Sandman does his intro and makes Corino come with him through the crowd. Steve doesn't look 100% comfortable with it, but he does a Raven pose and downs a beer and gets into it. Ki and Raven rush them and shit is on!

Match#6 Raven & Low Ki vs Steve Corino & The Sandman
My God! 4 of my favourite wrestlers beat the complete piss out of each other. Had ECW not died, i can only imagine how many incredible feuds we would have gotten with all of them. The ASYLUM BRAWL kicks all the ass to the shock of no one. Sandman does a fucking plancha off the balcony! Team ECW beats the crap out of SEX and its just the best. Raven takes some horrific head trauma and bleeds like a stuck pig again (speaks to his skills that his head isn't wreaked) SEX fight back and kill Sandman with a piledriver through a table and Corino is by himself. One again, the man is an amazing babyface and has SO much fire. The control seg is fantastic ,of course. RAVEN AVOIDS THE DROP-TOE-HOLD TO THE CHAIR AND THROWS IT BACK INTO CORINO'S FACE. FUCK YEAH. Corino is busted open and makes the comeback even more dramatic as a result. Sandman's hot tag is a trash can to the head of SEX and its amazing. Everything breaks down and we get another wild brawl. Ki kicks out of the White Russian! and Raven slips in the back door with an EVENFLOW to beat him.
***

AMAZING hype video for AJ airs showing his history from day 1 to now. He talks over the top of it recapping his success and drops a motherfucker of a final line
"Jeff Jarrett, you're standing in the way of greatness...MOVE"

Match#7 Jeff Jarrett (c) vs AJ Styles (NWA Worlds Heavyweight Championship)
This is the biggest match in TNA history thus far, and it truly feels like AJ could win it all. Incredible job from TNA in the way he's been built, and kudos to AJ and Jeff for nailing it perfectly. Tenay and DW add to it with a masterful job of putting over how important the belt is to Pro Wrestling. They also wonder if AJ will stick to his X-Division roots and beat Jeff that way, and thus force Jeff to ground him, or if he has another plan to avoid that. They have a great feeling out to start and AJ uses his speed to knock Jeff on his ass with Dat Dropkick, and he starts to trying to swarm him, SO JEFF FIRES BACK WITH A WONDERFUL DROPKICK OF HIS OWN TO DROP HIM, AND HE FOLLOWS IT WITH HIS AMAZING PLANCHA TO SHOW THE KID HE DO IT AS WELL, IF NOT BETTER. They have a great fight on the outside and AJ again uses his speed to take back over when he throws him into the rail, and Jeff take a gross bump to his ribs. His control seg is killer. He beats the fuck out of Jeff, and he's ever better on offence than normal. Really breaking out BEYOND the incredible point he was already at. The fans side with him and chant his name, and DW goes with it, and says they respect his talent and how far he's come and they want him to do it. DW ponders if this is his night, or if Jeff can stop him for now. Jeff hits a Benoit style powerbomb to finally cut him off and start his comeback. Amazing shit from Jeff on offence, and AJ dies like the fucking lunatic he is. Larry makes his way out to watch, and he snatches Jeff's leg to let AJ nail a sick sunset bomb to cut Jeff back off. Larry smacks Jeff with some knucks and AJ hesitates for a moment if he should pin or not, and that time wasted lets Jeff kick out of it. JJ comes down and makes Larry leave. AJ starts fucking with him by doing a springboard into a sleeper, just to show he can do the old school, but he can do shit none of them ever dreamed of on top of it. The ref gets killed by a gross Phenomenal Forearm, and its costs Jeff when he hits the Stroke and has to wait for the new one, and AJ kicks out. Both men sell the exhaustion fantastically! The new ref gets bumped and SEX come out to help, but Vader and Dusty fight them off. Shit gets dramatic as Jeff kicks out of the Clash and AJ finally comes off the top, but he gets Lariated when he comes down. Sonny slides in and hits the Neckbreaker and screams at AJ to do it, BUT AJ CHOPS HIM IN THE CHEST AND KILLS HIM WITH THE STYLES CLASH, AND DW SAYS HE WANTS TO DO IT ON HIS OWN. AJ gets on the top rope to look down at him, and Jeff comes up from behind and hits the Super Stroke to win.
****

Incredible story told throughout with AJ being show on, and sometimes above Jeff's level, and if a ref counts a little faster he would have done it. I loved that AJ took the easy way out at first by siding with Russo, but once he saw that he could do it on his own and didn't need the bullshit, he wanted to do it the right way. Its a beautiful character moment for him, as that struggle of knowing he's the fucking man (which is what lead to him starting the beef with Jeff in the first place) and he can do it on his own, is at battle with knowing that sometimes you just need to say "fuck it" and take the world by the balls and say fuck you to anyone who tries to stop you. This flaw will continue to lead AJ down the right and wrong path right up until i write this on 22/8/20. He's one of my all time favourite wrestlers for a lot of reasons, and this is a major one. Also, that flaw is going to come back into play a lot sooner than anyone will realise it. Amazing first part of one of the most important, and best feuds in company history.


We cut away from Jeff celebrating int he ring to find Russo sitting in a car. He says he's sitting in Jeff' driveway and he's going inside to talk all of this out with Jeff's family. Someone calls the cops on this fucking moron.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: VACANT

NWA-TNA PPV#33
February 26th, 2003
TNA Asylum

A really fantastic recap of JJ/AJ opens the show.

Match#1 Kid Kash (c) w/Trinity vs Jason Cross (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Decent little X-Style sprint. Kash does his routine and he's not changing things up week to week, which kind of sucks tbh. Cross has a broken hand so he's not out there killing himself either, but he's fine enough. DW spends the match worrying about what happened to Jeff's family at the hands of Russo. Love him so much. Springboard DDT does the deed.
*3/4

Backstage, Jeff walks into the building and ignores Goldy's bullshit as he walks into his lockeroom.

Russo comes out to the ring wearing Dustin Rhodes "The Natural" jacket in a really awesome heel move. He says Dustin gave it to him because they're friends. It also fits the theme of tonight's show "family and friends" He says the fans would never be invited to someone's house because they're criminals. Ha. He says Jeff's family embraced uncle Vince like old times (big uncle Vince chant breaks out) He says Jeff came home and realised it was time to come home to him. So, tonight Jeff will formally sign the contract to join SEX. He says anyone who wants to join SEX can come out tonight and join alongside Jeff. AJ Styles' music hits and he comes out to a huge pop. He says Jeff was right that Russo is nothing but a Yankee bastard! But, Vince was right about Jeff not giving up the title because he has a black heart. AJ says he got screwed trying to do the right thing and its time for a change. He says he doesn't agree with what SEX stands for, but if Russo can make him a world champion he'll join SEX. Russo says SEX is a lifestyle and philosphy and he needs to know AJ will dedicate his life to SEX, and AJ offers his hand! Raven's epic music hits and he comes through the crowd and looks PISSED. What about me, what about Raven. He says Russo bought him to be his big hitter and win the NWA title, and he's not taking a backseat to a little X-Division star. Russo scream this all about him and Raven let his ECW friends follow him into the backdoor and mess things up. Raven says half-pint AJ could never beat Sandman. Once the weapons come out he'll be crying. ZIP IT. Raven would never last with the X-Division wearing a skirt. He'd get blown up if he tried, and he can beat Sandman. Raven says he'll fight an X-Division wrestler if AJ fights Sandman. Russo books the matches for tonight and Raven warns AJ that Sandman will kill him. They go nose to nose before Russo breaks it up.

AMW now come out to the stage and demand their rightful title show tonight. Russo calls James Storm the "Dirtroad Cowboy" which is a reference to the rumour that Storm slept with Bob Ryder to get hired by TNA. Great idea to SHOOTZ on shit we only learnt years later, and one that's probably not even true. Russo says Triple X have 30 days to defend the belts, so they can wait. AMW rush the ring and beat the shit out of Raven, and the fucking Hot Shots run out in SEX shirts and beat down AMW. SEX really is the NWO-B Team.

Backstage, Dusty says Jeff is not with SEX. He says Russo stole the jacket, and Jeff is truly the world champion. He moves on to the Nazis's and i just can't.

Match#2 Team Simon (Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger) vs The New Church w/Father James
Jesus, the NC fell off the top of the tag card depressingly fast. Team Simon are good enough in ring, but they aren't going to blow you away any time soon, or ever. NC are still a ton of fun and kick the snot out of them, so this is pretty fun. Slash gets isolated and he's a good fip for the guys to beat on. Lee's hot tag is good as he's still trying very hard despite being limited. Things break down and Lee clobbers Swinger with some knucks to win
**

Backstage, Jeff comes out of his locker-room and lets Goldy speak to him. He says Russo was his best friend in life, and now everyone thinks Russo is off his rocker. No, he is a man of conviction who truly wants to save wrestling. Jeff stands up and unzips his jacket to show he's wearing a SEX shirt. BAW GAWD, JEFF HAS SOLD OUT. Actually, given what a cunt he's been for years and years in kayfabe, this is not shocking at all.

At the desk, DW says maybe we shouldn't jump the gun and give up hope on Jeff doing the right thing.

Tenay interviewed Disco and Sanders. FUCK NO

Match#3 America's Most Wanted vs The Hot Shots w/Disco & Sanders
AMW rush the ring and kick the shit out of their old foes. Awesome stuff from AWM and HS are good punching bags. I appreciate TNA actually using a team AMW have history with to do this. Logic in TNA is very rare, so i got to give them love when they do it. Harris gets isolated and its a fun control seg from the Shots. Nothing amazing, but very solid stuff. Storm's hot tag is super fun as always. Shit breaks down as it tends to, and AMW survive SEX's bullshit and win with the 8 Second Ride
**1/2

Really can't wait for the Shots to die, so the Natural's can be born.

Backstage, Sonny does his discount Rock shit and tries to rally SEX, but they basically tell him to fuck off. The highlight is Raven coming out of the bathroom and not washing his hands. Its cool Sonny, he was shooting up, not shitting.

Match#4 Raven vs Julio Dinero
The Gathering meet! Anyone who doesn't know what that means, will soon find out. This is a fun showcase for Raven. He gives the kid some things, but mostly beats the shit out of him in awesome fashion. He's such a viscous piece of shit that throws nasty shots and has this magnetic way about him, that you can't help but enjoy him hurting people. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like Raven. Julio is a good punching bag and fun on offence, but he could use a mentor. The ref gets bumped and AJ comes out to ringside, and he shoves Julio off the top rope and Raven nukes him with the EVENFLOW
**3/4

AJ slides in and points at Raven and says he owes him one. Raven shoves him off and AJ walks away smiling like a dickhead.

Backstage, K-Dawg says words. NEVERMIND THAT SHIT. JUVENTUD GUERRERA MAKES HIS DEBUT AS KONNAN'S NEW CHARGE.

Match#5 Juventud Guerrera w/Konnan vs Jerry Lynn
The Juice is loose, motherfuckers. Tenay puts him over incredibly well by saying he beat Jericho for the CW title. Really good stuff from that turd. Juvi works as a face and feeds the cancer in Lynn's soul, which upsets K-Dawg. It moves into a pretty fun back an forth between them, and its really nice to watch Juvi get to be a loon again. Sadly, he's forced into the fucking rollup sequence and i want to die. Lynn gets a deep cover to win
**

Post match, K-Dawg yells at Juvi. Maybe don't hire an actual fucking manic, you fool.

Backstage, Mortimer tries to speak to Russo, but Sonny won't let him.

Match#6 AJ Styles vs The Sandman (No DQ)
Another one of those weird as fuck dream matches comes to life. I wish we could have gotten Umaga/AJ/Sandman, but this will suffice. AJ HITS A FLIP DIVE DURING SANDMAN'S INTRO. Hell Yeah. He drags him into the ring and starts wrestling him on the mat to prove a point. He can't help but go for the Plunda, though, and an awesome fight break out between them. Lots of nasty shots and horrific bumps from these nutcases. AJ adapts incredibly well to all of this, because he's a freak. He avoids the Cane with his insane athleticism, but he can't avoid for long and Sandman starts overwhelming him. They go to the top and Sandman tries his rana, but Raven hits him with a chair and AJ nails the Super Clash to win
***

NEXT WEEK: KASH DEFENDS HIS TITLE. RAVEN VS SANDMAN IN A CLOCKWORK ORANGE HOUSE OF FUN MATCH.

Raven's voice comes over the PA and says he has a destiny to the NWA World Championship. That is his only goal and purpose, but he got sidetracked by a madman with a hard-on for his crucifixion (What a line) Next week he'll take him into a match that was only real in Raven's head, but now its real. He is the way! The loser will be dumped off his perch through a pair of tables, but the rest of the match needs to be seen. Quote the Raven nevermore.

A really great video airs showing all of Dusty's amazing promos and feud with SEX since his TNA debut.

Match#7 Dusty Rhodes & Vader vs The Nazi Harris Brothers w/Sonny & Desiree
I've been on this site so long that i wondered if being in the ring with Nazi's made Dusty miss Dick Murdoch. Truth is sitting in the crowd looking none to pleased. Vader and Dusty beat the fuck out of these assholes in really fun form for a couple of minutes, before Dusty gets driven into the steps and is busted wide open if you wheel. He carries the control seg with his amazing selling and facials, combined with some great hope spots. Vader's hot tag is great as hell. He pounds the piss out of them and its just the best. Sonny gets into the ring and Dusty elbows him and Vader hits the Vader bomb, and the ref DQ's them. Fuck you
**1/4

Dusty grabs Desiree and spanks her with a belt. FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY. Nikita Koloff makes his return after 6 weeks, only to be elbowed right away by Dusty so he looks like a right chump.

Backstage, drunk Sandman talks to Team Simon about ECW and sticking together. Swinger shits on Raven for losing a lot in WWF, which is funny considering you were nothing but a fucking jobber when you got the call, you fucking cunt. Yeah, i mad.

Russo makes his way out of the contract signing. There's a "Welcome Home, Jeff" banner on the ropes and a table in the middle of the ring. A tape starts playing of Russo's sons talking about how he cared more for wrestling than he ever cared for them. RUSSO THEN SHOOTZ ON HIS KIDS FOR BEING UNGRATEFUL SHITHEADS. HE PROMISES TO COME HOME AND BEAT THEIR ASSES LIKE HE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE. AMAZING. Jeff comes out to the stage and sticks the knife in further by saying Russo really loves wrestling more than his kids, and he's taking off the SEX shirt. He says Russo was met with a shotgun when he came to his house, and he ran like a bitch. He rushes the ring and kicks the cunt out of him. David Flair and Brian Lawler come out to pull him off, AND DEAR GOD, THEY HAVE FUCKING ERIK WATTS WITH THEM. NO. FUCK YOU. He chokeslams Jeff through the table. He says he is here to make Jeff regret what he did. Well, hiring you is a massive regret, so that must be it. Awful, awful shit to close an otherwise fun episode.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: VACANT

NWA-TNA PPV#34
March 5th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Raven is sitting in his perch to kick us off, and its time for another amazing promo. In fact, I'm going to post the entire thing thanks to cagematch.

"Pete Townsend, the world's greatest living song writer, once said: 'No one respects the flame quite like the fool, who's badly burned.' Sandman, tonight you hope to withstand the Raven juggernaut, but fighting me in my own creation is foolhardy at best, suicide at worst.

Sandman, Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun will be your undoing. It will be your Hiroshima. You see, I am based in sanity and light, clothed in madness and shadows, sealing out woe and sorrow to those, who are foolish enough to approach me. I HAVE A DESTINY. I have a destiny to be NWA World Heavyweight Champion. And not you Sandman, not AJ Styles and not even you, Jeff Jarrett, can hold back the hands of fate. Life is a tapestry weaved by the gods and those, who are singled out for this defying birthright have two choices: They can fight it or they can face it! Life turns the other cheek for far too long. I've not been devout, because pain and horror are holy things. And by believing in the darkness, we are elevated. And by elevating us, we elevate ourselves, when we destroy. And when we destroy, we are cleaned. Welcome to Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun. Quote the Raven nevermore."

The lights go out for a moment a familiar voice rings out for a moment, but the screen goes black and we get a technical difficulties message for a moment before they come back on

ITS THE TASKMASTER, KEVIN SULLIVAN
"I was putting pain, misery and violence on the likes of Dusty Rhodes, Terry Funk, Abdullah the Butcher, when you were still crapping yellow. And I wasn't doing it in a glorified bingo hall, I was doing it in the Cow Palace against Ray Stevens, and Memphis against Lawler and Dundee and Charlotte against the Four Horseman.

So I heard you are the chosen one. You are the one that's gonna take violence to a new level. I heard about this Clockwork Orange Match, the most dangerous match ever invented. And it could only come from your sick, demented mind - which I compliment you are. But I asked the promotion, no I demanded the promotion I could be here. Not as a special referee, because a referee puts rules together. I'm the special observer, so there is no rules. I want you to hurt Sandman. I demand you to hurt Sandman. I want the most violent match of all time, so I can tell, just like these people here, I was there. I was there the night he did it. I was there the night Raven really hurt somebody in the Clockwork Orange Match. Raven, you better do it.

"Wait, one more thing, Raven. If you don't, the gates to hell will open up and your ass belongs to me. Quote Kevin Sullivan…"

Raven-"Sullivan, if you're here to pass the torch to me, you're a few years too late. Because I respect what you did, but the carnage you left is nothing compared to the bloodshed that I'll leave. Welcome to the Asylum, Kevin Sullivan. Do you think that you keep your sanity? "

Kevin-"Raven, this night we'll see whether you're the real thing or just another impostor"

Raven walks down form his perch, but Sandman clobbers him with the cane and leaves him laying as he drinks a beer in the crowd. Awesome segment.

At the booth, Mike says we're going to see a new side of Russo.

Konnan comes out and talks some awful smack before introducing Super Crazy as the man who will fight Lynn tonight.

Match#1 Super Crazy w/Konnan vs Jerry Lynn
Fun match from two old running buddies. They get the standoff done quickly, and it can just be a fun back an forth from there. I do have to say, that Tenay saying the standoff and the positive response from the crowd is them respecting "great wrestling" made me laugh a lot. They hit the old notes for a while and neither man can control for long in a nice little thing. Crazy tries to Rana him off top but Lynn rolls through and gets the 3
**1/2

Post match, K-Dawg yells at Crazy and slaps him. I'd say the fucker should do it himself, but I'm trying to avoid watching him wrestle.

Recap of the closing segment airs. Kill me, please.

Coming from that, Tenay is with Russo in his office in Atlanta. He calls himself Vince's slave and talks about the hell he endured in WCW that caused a mental breakdown. He says last week was a first hand look at the price that was paid for this. He cries about being a shit father and husband and he hopes the boys can learn from him. He talks about Mr Perfect being a guy they should look at and try not to be. He says he's done with wrestling from this point on. Best news ever. I'm sure its legit and not some type of swerve bro.

Match#2 The Hotshots w/Disco & Sanders vs The New Church w/Father James
Sonny walks down right away and makes Disco and Sanders leave with him. This lets NC murder the Shots in peace for a bit, and its pretty fun from my favourite cult thus far in TNA's run. Truth is watching in the crowd again. I now realise they're trying to make him Sting, and that might be the most TNA thing ever. The shots control for a while and its fine enough for very basic heels. NC fight back and quickly win with a Doomsday (click) dropkick
**

The Nazis come out of the locker room and beat the crap out of the Shots. Tenay suspects without Russo in charge, SEX will implode. Fucking Einstein over here.

Backstage, Goldy shows she's the smartest of the lot as she asks Sandman what a Clockwork match is, despite Raven explaining it came from his fucked up mind. Sandman has no clue either, but he's excited to see Kevin again and to fight Raven and drink a beer. Quote The Sandman nevermore.

They air Jeff being attacked and Watts' terrible promo. This is the worst fucking thing they've done thus far.

Coming from that, Jeff comes out to speak to Tenay. They talk about Russo and how Jeff AGAIN covers his history with Russo and how he's a changed man. Don't fucking care. We move onto the ungodly trio that attacked him last week, and they come out. Watts says he didn't do this this because he was mad at Jeff for leaving out 3 of the best second gen wrestlers ever. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA. Brian ruled, these two are horrific. Watts says they grew up with each other and how they were going to sellout stadiums, and how Jeff kept calling him during big moments of his life, but he didn't save his WWF career when they held him down. I'M DYING HERE, FOLKS. Watts keeps talking about all the shit his daddy handed him and Jeff looks legit bemused by the entire thing. Lawler chimes in with this insane mumbling, and I'm pretty sure he's fucked up during this. Watts finally says he will make Jeff regret all of this, before offering his back to Jeff to hit him with a chair. Jeff doesn't do it and the losers leave. Horrible segment, but i needed a good laugh after today.

Match#3 Jorge Estrada vs Disgraceland
This horrible match is a backdrop for Sonny to argue with Disco and Sanders. Couldn't give me the fucking tag titles, or a spotfest, could you. Jorge finally wins with a weird looking neckbreaker
Tweeter yelling at Simon for not agreeing with them

Backstage, SEX argue about things.

Interrogation with Kash
Ricky Morton: Mentor.
Rap or Rock: Rap
Paul Heyman: Jewish.
AJ Styles: Really good.
Favorite Move: Money-maker.
Toughest X-Division Opponent: AJ Styles.
Trinity - Business or Pleasure: Wouldn't you like to know.
Kid Kash - Cocky or Confident: Very Confident.
Konnan and the Luchadors: Wannabees
Make War or Peace: Make Love
X Title Win: Biggest Night of My Life
Amazing Red: Real Short

Match#4 Kid Kash (c) w/Trinity vs Amazing Red (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Kash is now a heel, which is a way better choice when going up against Red. Really cool story as Red keeps out manoeuvring Kash and taking the fight to him in ways he's just not ready for, so he has to throws a chair at his face to finally stop him. It doesn't stick though as Red is able to fight back and keep the old man on the back foot with his insane shit that no one can truly prepare for. BUT KASH SAYS FUCK ALL OF THAT AS HE CATCHES RED ON TOP AND MURDERS HIM WITH AN UNGODLY RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX. Red still won't die though and his comeback rules a ton, as does his wobbly selling. He goes for his flip dive on the outside, but Kash pulls Trinity in front of it and she's dead. They fight back inside and its pretty fun for a minute or so, before Kash ends it with the Moneymaker.
***

Post match, Kash hugs Trinity and raises her arm.

Backstage, Goldy is getting ready to interview Jeff, AND AJ STORMS PAST HER AND GETS IN JEFF'S FACE. He screams that Jeff is an old man that's scared of him and he wants a rematch. He tried to do the right thing and he got screwed, and he wants his rematch. One more opportunity to give him a rematch, or he's taking it. JEFF STANDS UP SHOVES HIM AND SAYS HE'S NOT TAKING SHIT. Last week he was sucking up Russo's ass, and he proved what a rookie he is. He says he'll give him a shot just like everyone else in TNA. He shoves him out of the door. Wonderful segment. This is the best feud in TNA.

Tenay interviewed AMW earlier today. Classic "we're hear to show the world what we can do. We love wrestling. We'll be the best" babyface promo. Tenay says they'll be facing Triple X next week, but they don't know the combo. AMW says they don't care about who it is, they're going to win it all. They're facing Disco and Sanders tonight, and Harris is worried the fans will leave once they see Disco in action. DEAD.

Match#5 America's Most Wanted vs Disco Inferno & Mike Sanders
AMW carry these two losers to a fun match. Actually, its one loser as Sanders is fine, but Disco sucks a lot. Truth is in the crowd again and Tenay says it looks like he's crying. Oh, no. AMW beat the hell out of them and its the best. Really carrying half the company on their backs right now. AJ/Jeff/Raven have the other half. Control on Storm is fine enough, but the best part is Harris' hot tag. Really can't wait for him to win the world title in say, 2007. LOLTNA hits us in a very unexpected way, when Moondog Spot comes out to ringside with his bone and starts dancing. The ref gets bumped and Harris as it won, but Skipper smacks him in the skull with the chair. it matter not as he kicks out. He pushes Storm off the top and hits Harris with the chair again and the heels steal it.
**

NOTHING can ever be simple in TNA. Skipper helping the heels makes sense. Spot dancing does not. My head hurts.

Backstage, Sonny yells at Skipper for helping them, and a big fight breaks out between Sander and Sonny. Really hate to see the NWO-B team tribute band break up, but its happening. They fight into the ring where the Clockwork match is being set up, and a new girl named Hollywood helps Sanders out. The Nazis and the rest of SEX stop the fight and make them shake hands. Guess the band is still together. Nope, Desire attacks Hollywood and storms off. So happy we got all this time dedicated to them.

Hype for Raven/Sandman.

So the rules are you win by throwing someone off the balcony through two tables.

Really cool setup for the match. One side has mesh and gates and the other has chains and weapons. I can really see Raven's fucked up mind coming up with this, while Sandman built it for them.

Also, Kevin has ref stripes painted on him along with a bow tie. He's a weird dude, and its not hard to see why people look at him in a certain light.

Match#6 Raven vs The Sandman (Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun match. Guest Referee: Kevin Sullivan)
This is another wonderful fight between two of the craziest fucks to ever do it. Really amazing to see them keep this fresh and fun 6 years after their feud started. Raven bleeds a ton and takes a horrific beating, but as always can fight back with his ability to take back control in a heartbeat. Sullivan helps Raven take down the gate for Sandman's head to be thrown into, and from there Raven beats the fuck out of Sandman in amazing fashion. RAVEN'S DROP TOE HOLD WORKS FOR HIM FOR HIM THIS TIME, INSTEAD OF BACKFIRING ON HIM. Amazing. He keeps wreaking him, and its reaches that point where its hard to watch. Sandman fights back and Kevin gives him the cane to use. They fight up to the Perch, and we get a great struggle between them. Raven's fighting to not go through the table is incredible to watch with the way he sells how close he is to falling. They go to the very top of the Asylum and Raven uses a fire extinguisher to blind him, and he shoves him off to win!
***

Raven drags himself back to the ring and demands his title shot RIGHT NOW. He says being a bloody weakened mess is Jeff's only chance of beating him. HE HAS A DESTINY TO FULFIL, DAMN YOU. Jeff runs down and hits him with the belt and beats the fuck out of him. Incredible stuff from Jeff as he unloads all his anger on a SUPER fucked up Raven. AJ RUNS DOWN AND TRIES TO HIT JEFF WITH THE CHAIR ,BUT HE DUCKS AND RAVEN EATS IT. Oh, shit. AJ and Raven fight off through the crowd, and the Ungodly trio run down and beat Jeff down in awful fashion. David pulls out an NWA title out of the sack and screams "WHAT IS THIS" to Jeff. I guess because he's a fucking moron he doesn't realise its his dad's belt. Weird stuff.

SO close to being a perfect closing angle and they ruined it in 90 seconds. LOLTNA.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: VACANT

NWA-TNA PPV#35
March 12th, 2003
TNA Asylum

We get a recap video of last weeks tomfoolery.

Double J storms down past the ring with a baseball bat and smashes the SEX's locker-room door in! He scream for Watts to come out and fight him, but blackshirts block his way. Jeff makes his way over to the booth and demands Watts come out. He thankfully doesn't ruin my night, and Jeff leaves.

TONIGHT: AJ STYLES VS RAVEN IN A #1 CONTENDERS MATCH

Konnan makes his way out for another horrible promo. I don't trust anyone who enjoys him outside of LAX, or some of the Wolfpack. He introduces his new team of Halloween & Damien 666

Match#1 Jerry Lynn & David Young vs Halloween & Damien 666 w/Konnan
Tenay says Lynn called London to be his partner but he's sick with a virus, so DY answered the call. He gets a little bit of offence in, but he fucks his knee up on a dive and is has to be taken out. Things breakdown from there as everyone looks lost and it gets sloppy. Lynn gets a cradle to win
3/4*

Post match, Konnan and Lynn FINALLY fight. Its not good, but at least its finally happening.

In the carpark, Jeff attacks Watts for being the worst! Blackshirts drag Jeff away and Watts makes his way out to the ring. Tenay tries to hype up Watts', but that's not happening for anyone with a working brain. Jeff rushes the ring again and they keep fighting before blackshirts drag them apart.

Backstage, Kid Kash cuts a heel promo about how no one can take the belt off him. Red gets in his face and says if it wasn't for Trinity he wouldn't have the belt, so he dares him to leave her for their match tonight. Kash is not happy.

A weird video hits with clips of war and army training, then the name comes across the screen
D'LO BROWN! YOU'RE DEALING WITH THE REAL DEAL NOW.

He makes his way out looking in fantastic shape, and actually happy. Tenay says he has a title shot written into his contract for down the line. He says everyone expected to SHOOTZ, but given the fans cheering for him he won't do it. He then shows that's a fucking liar when he cuts a promo about his journey, hard work, being held down in the mid-card and being told he couldn't speak. ALL the shit you've heard a thousand times. Sonny and Desiree make their way out to recruit him for SEX, but D'lo says no and eventually lays him out with the Sky-high and Lo-Down. Bad segment, but it's going to lead somewhere awesome. So, call it 60/40.


Match#3 Kid Kash (c) w/Trinity vs Amazing Red vs Johnny Storm (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Tenay says there was a ton of fan mail asking for Storm to debut, and i think that's a lie. Really should have just ran Red/Kash again, but whatever. This is a pretty fun spotfest with Red leading the way with his awesome stuff. The other two are fine and stuff, but Red is the best. LOLTNA moment when they fuck up airing a replay of Kash hitting a springboard dropkick, but it doesn't play, and we get DW/Mike marking out over it despite not realising its not playing. Trinty "hits" Red with a moonsualt because she's now a full blows heel. I say "hit" because she missed his head by a good margin. Kash/Storm is SLOPPY as fuck and really brings down the fun i was having. Moneymaker does it
**
Red shoves and yells at her, so Kash lays him out.

Backstage, Sonny yells at SEX for not having his back. Sanders and Disco walk in, and fucking Disco rips them apart for not doing their best for Russo and not being loyal. He singles out Triple X, and Daniels tells him they're SEX through and through. The Nazis declare Disco the leader, and threaten anyone who has a problem with it. AMAZING FORESHADOWING TO THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER IN 2016.

Match#4 The Sandman & Steve Corino vs The Nazi Harris Brothers
SANDMAN DOES HIS INTRO AND CORINO IS NOW BOOKED AS A FUCKING MORON FOR SOME REASON, AS HE GETS INTO THE RING ALONE AND THE NAZIS BEAT HIM WITH THE SHITTY H BOMB IN 30 SECONDS
MATT HARDY'S BRAIN

Sandman finally gets down and tries to fight them, but Nazis easily fight him off for a while. Corino tries to help but he's now a fucking loser and gets his head beaten in. They keep attacking them for what feels like an hour, and i really want to die right now.

Backstage, more SEX nonsense with Sanders saying he's fighting an "enchantment talent" STOP IT. Disco walks over and yells at him for not being over.

Dusty makes his way out to talk about the "Frickis" going on, if you wheel. He calls out the Ungodly Trio to the ring so he can confront them. David and Brian come out without shithead Watts, so Dusty calls him a fucking loser whose never done anything. Jeff is not to blame for them not achieving anything in the business. He says David doesn't even deserve to carry the title, AND HE CALLED HIS DADDY AN ASSHOLE LAST WEEK. AND NOW DAVID IS AN ASSHOLE. 2000's Dusty is awesome. He tells Brian that he a ton of a talent, but he acts like a fool all the damn time. He could be a king one day because he's THAT good. He then slaps him in the mouth and says he meant "King of these lefts" he then murders them with elbows! They beat him down until D'lo and Jeff make the save. Nice to see them put 99 behind them.

AMW hype video airs

Backstage, Ki says he does a lot of listening instead of speaking. They never lost the titles in the first place, and these two cowboys are in for a world of hurt. He says they're the true champions around here, and they'll see where their heart lies. Ki can speak, he just chooses not. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The "enhancement talent" fighting Sanders is Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Match#5 Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Mike Sanders
Horrible squash for Hacksaw. I mean, its awesome he didn't die from the tumour in 98, but he shouldn't be anywhere near a ring. 3-Point Stance does it
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Post match, Disco and Sanders beat him down.

AJ IS SITTING IN RAVEN'S PERCH. Oh, man he's really got a death wish. Goldy asks if he's provoking Raven by doing this. AHHHHHHHH ZIP IT. Yeah, he's provoking him by taking a dump in the Nest. Soon he will beat both Raven and Jeff and be the undisputed NWA champion. Raven walk over and looks up at AJ, AND AJ BLASTS HIM IN THE FACE WITH A CHAIR. The Nazis hold Raven back as AJ dances and laughs like a prick. Awesome segment.

Recap of the tag titles being held up and the tourney. Took place 5 weeks ago and TNA finally got around to finishing this. LOLTNA.

Triple X wait until JB has introduced AMW to reveal which duo it is, and it lets them attack a distracted AMW.

Match#6 America's Most Wanted vs Low-Ki & Christopher Daniels w/Skipper (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championship)
Amazing brawl to start us off. TONS of hate and violence from these maniacs. Amazing babyface fire from AWM, and shithead attacks from Triple X. Harris is again such a fucking stud in this, and he's perfect for this role. Other 3 obviously rule. Skipper causes a distraction and XXX beat the piss out of Storm in amazing fashion. Ki is a wonderful bully as we know, and Daniels in his peak as a heel so its killer. Also, i was wrong about LOLTNA as DW says XXX's tour of Japan is the reason we waited so long. Storm's attempted comebacks rules as do the cutoff. Harris' hot tag is his best yet as he has ALL that fire. Shit breaks down as it tends to and the finishing run is great. Lots of near falls and it builds wonderfully. Daniels is dead after the DS, but Ki pulls the ref out ad Skipper nails the POD! Storm kicks out of it, but he's fucked up and Harris is all alone. Harris fights it best he can in amazing fashion and he has it won with a Sharpshooter. SKIPPER LINES HIM UP WITH A CHAIR BUT A DEAD STORM SUPERKICKS THE LIFE OUT OF HIM AND THEY FALLS OUT OF THE RING. THE REF DEALS WITH THAT AND DANIELS TRIES TO HIT HARRIS WITH THE BELT, BUT HE GETS KICKED AWAY. BUT FROM BEHIND KI GRABS THE OTHER AND ENDS HIS LIFE. Daniels steals the pin and Triple X get their title backs
***1/2

Another fantastic entry into the series. Not sure if its quite as good as the first one, but a banger nonetheless.

In the carpark, Sonny is beating up D'Lo! Jeff runs over and throws him off and checks on his new buddy.

More SEX nonsense. Nope

Double J joins commentary.

Match#7 Raven vs AJ Styles (#1 Contenders Match)
The second best feud in the company finally reaches the ring and its great. Not shocking given who these men are, but I'm always happy to see a feud actually deliver where it counts. Jeff puts AJ over huge by saying he watched the match again and AJ made very few mistakes that night. They get to it right away and Raven uses his IQ to bait the always overzealous AJ into making mistakes. He crotches him on the rail and beats the snot out of him. He grabs the NWA title off Jeff and says this is next! As the ref puts it back it lets Raven blast AJ with a chair in revenge for earlier. LOVE that so much. AJ's busted open and Raven goes insane on the cut. Awesome control from him and AJ dies like only he can. Amazing visual of AJ's blood on Raven's hands as he beats him up. AJ fights back doggedly with a sleeper and is able to slowly wear him down and give himself a breather. His comeback rules and he breaks out shit that Raven just can't scout. Jeff has an amazing point that AJ was blinded by Russo and it cost him, so now he needs to figure out what he's going to do. Jeff rules. They sell the exhaustion really fucking well, and it helps make the fight more dramatic. Raven headbutts Jeff, so he gets up from the booth and attacks both men before blackshirts make him leave. The ref gets taken out with a nasty dropkick and Raven nails the EVENFLOW! A new ref slides in and AJ kicks out! Jesus Christ, what a rub. The new ref gets taken out and AJ hits the Clash and Raven kicks out of that. Jeff watches on the stage and he looks worried. AJ kicks a chair into Raven's face and they fall onto each other and both refs count 3. Awww son of a bitch.
***1/4
I normally despise that ending, but its going to lead to some amazing angles and matches, so its cool.

DW shouts "Who won" over and over as the show ends.

Horrible episode outside of the AMW/XXX and the main event.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-12/3/03

NWA-TNA PPV#36
March 19th, 2003
TNA Asylum

We open the show with Hacksaw cutting a Hacksaw promo. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

SEX come out to the ring because last week wasn't shitty enough, i guess. Disco calls out D'Lo to try and recruit him for SEX. He assures him this isn't a story line, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID CUNT. Disco continues the SHOOTZ by saying the ceiling in TNA is made of concrete and it was built by a paranoid ego maniacal Henderson hillbilly. He says Jeff is trying to be his friend because he doesn't want to fight him for his title down the line, and he's making him fight his battles after one week. Fair point, actually. Jeff comes out and shootz about Russo being a changed man and how D'Lo needs to trust him. D'Lo says Disco is actually starting to make sese and he wants to know where his damn title shot is. Jeff lays the belt down and says it sounds like D'Lo wants a handout, before he can continue the Ungodly Trio attack him from behind. The heels beat the crap out of them until Dusty shows up and turns the tide, of course. AMW also join the fight and help. Its not enough to help, BUT THE TRUTH MAKES THE SAVE AND CLEANS HOUSE. FUCK YEAH. TRUTH IS WITH TNA. HE HUGS JEFF AND DUSTY. Awesome ending to a bad segment.

TONIGHT: RAVEN VS AJ STYLES IN A #1 CONTENDERS MATCH

Earlier today, Raven cut a promo in the ring. He's sitting under a blue light with the Clockwork setup next to him. He calls this a poisoned legacy of his despised inheritance. He says this place is chandeliere'd with mad-dog bottle glass and tiled with mosaic of syringes and human filth . He smacks a trash can with a cane and says this is his people. Deformed of mind and body, wretched and discarded. Sideshow apparitions shall be worn as a medal on his chest signifying the honour guard that will accompany him on his way to DESTINY. AJ Styles you are interfering with fate and divine confluence of events and destiny. AJ is a pissant on the road to destiny and Raven will squash him. He says this a ladder match and AJ doesn't have what it takes, BECAUSE HE HAS A DESTINY. HE IS ON A MISSION. IF AJ GETS IN THE WAY HE WON'T BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS. Amazing promo, but a bitch to transcribe. Raven in a nutshell.

Match#1 Triple X (c) w/Daniels vs New Church w/Father James (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championship)
Traditional brawl breaks out and its super fun as always. I do like that this has taken the AB's spot for the minute. Sure once Jeff turns heel it'll come back. BRIAN LEE DOES A DIVE. Holy shit. Slash is again a lunatic, and Triple X rule. Ki takes some gross bumps in particular. Slash eventually gets isolated and we get another awesome control seg from the guys. Ki is again an amazing bully asshole. Hits a Horrific flying knee to Slash's throat, and then returns the favour when he dies of a powerbomb. Lee's hot tag is fun stuff for him. Very proud he doesn't suck anymore. Big EVIL chants again to warm my heart. The ref gets bumped and the fuckery hits with Daniels getting involved and some hand grenades thrown in. Slash is hit with the POD ont he belts, BUT MALCE MAKES HIS RETURN AND ENDS TRIPLE X'S LIFE WITH POWERBOMBS AND CHOKESLAMS. HE ENDS THE REF'S LIFE AND THE MATCH IS DONE
**3/4

So happy MALICE got one last moment in the sun before his death in a few months.

Earlier today, Tenay interviewed Watts. Fuck and no

Backstage, Sanders is talking in a weird gangster voice trying to motivate SEX. Disco makes Hollywood find Athena and strip her. Going to go and kill Disco.

Interrogation with K-DAWG
Jerry Lynn: Punk Ass Bitch.
Tracy McGrady or Kobe Bryant: Kobe's a ballhog, Tracy McGrady..
Eric Bischoff: Punk Ass Bitch..
Retro Jerseys or FUBU Gear: Retro Jerseys, leave FUBU for Buff Bagwell & DDP.
Max Moon: The Best
Eminem of 50 Cents: Eminem.
El Santo or Mil Mascaras: El Santo.
Christina Alguilara & Jennifer Lopez: Both, face down ass up..
Rey Mysterio: League by himself.
AJ Styles or Raven: Doesn't care for either.
Luchadores win-loss record: Konnan gets mad and storms off.


Match#2 Jerry Lynn & Jason Cross vs. Konnan & Juventud Guerrera
We can't avoid this any longer, sadly. Konnan was the shits in the 90's, and he's sure as fuck not getting any better in the 00's. Other 3 try hard enough to give us a fun match when he's not in it. Bit sloppy at points, but that's to be expected with a high Juvi and Lynn being Lynn. Cross looks awesome at points when he shows off his stuff, and i wish he had stuck around longer. K-Dawg gets in and its very bad. Lots of sandbagging and not selling. Just K-Dawg things. He finally fights Lynn for some horrible stuff. He grabs the ropes to beat him
**

Recap of the Kash/Red feud.

Backstage, Kash is a dickhead to Goldy and Trinity, and basically says hanging with him means you're going to take bullets, but he's the champ no matter what anyone says. Red walks in and challenges Trinity to a fight, SHE'S A GIRL, YOU LITTLE PRICK. Yeah, Kash is none too pleased. He agrees to a three way dance for later tonight.

Match#3 Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Disco Inferno & Mike Sanders
LOLTNA, my friends. They beat the hell out of Jim for a few minutes and its hot garbage as you'd expect. A SUPER fat Moondog Spot comes out with his bone to help Duggan, and Disco throws a fit about how he won't be made a fool of and he leaves. Sanders gets hit with the bone for the loss
LOLTNA

Backstage, Goldy is with The New Church. Father James says that was a way to soften them up for the real kill. He challenges to an 8 man tag called SADISTIC MADNESS. S&M. Get it? USA Today is on the phone, bros

Match#4 Kid Kash (c) vs Trinity vs Amazing Red (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Trinity gets kicked in the head a few second in, so this is mostly a singles match. Should have had the balls to run Red/Trinity. Anyway, they match up really well as always, but I'm getting a little sick of this matchup tbqh. Trinity keeps getting knocked down when she tries to get back in, and the bumps she takes are better than some of those in the ring. She finally gets in and does some cool things like ranas and DDT's. Not too shabby. Kash shoves Red into her when she goes to the top, and he hits a German to beat Red
**3/4

Backstage, Jeff and D'Lo are yelling at each other.

Match#5 Jeff Jarrett, D'Lo Brown & Dusty Rhodes vs The Ungodly Trio
The trio are actually called "The Next Generation" but i would never call them that. When Brian is in this with his old friends, its a lot of fun. The other two are fucking abysmal and kill it dead. Hard to tell you which one is the worst wrestler out of them. Watts can't throw a strike to save his life, but he doesn't have a thousand yard stare every time he does something. However, David had that fun run with Crowbar and Daffney, so i think he might have Watts beat. D'Lo gets isolated and its not good because Brian doesn't carry the load for the boys. Jeff's hot tag is fun and really picks things up. He thankfully beats David with the Stroke
*1/2

Dusty and Truth celebrate with Jeff post ma...NO, TRUTH POWERBOMBS JEFF OFF THE ROPES WHEN HE GOES UP TO DO HIS TAUNT. Aww, son of a bitch. He leaves Jeff laying and leaves. Watts beats up Jeff in the crowd in a really awful fight. Back in the ring, Brian kills Dusty with the legdrop. Watts ties Jeff up and attaches the rope to the back of a car and threatens to drag him to his death, Sadly, he pussies out like the coward he is. They leave Jeff dead and drive off.

Back at ringside, New Church storm SEX's locker room and find it empty, but SEX attack them from behind and kick the shit out of them. MALICE gets the lions share of the beating because he's the biggest and toughest. Blackshirts break it up.

In the ring, Hollywood and Athena brawl. DY makes the save before Sonny can strip her naked.

Awesome hype video for Raven/AJ.

Match#6 Raven vs AJ Styles (#1 Contenders Hardcore Ladder Match)
AJ attacks Raven from behind with a trash can lid. Really showing he's learning to play Raven's game. AJ with plunder is fantastic as he brutal as hell, while using his insane moves to really fuck up Raven. He uses the DTH to further the story of learning from Raven. HE DOES A FUCKING EVENFLOW ON AN OPEN CHAIR. I love this man so much. Raven's gets desperate in return and hurls a chair at AJ's head when he's on top of the ladder, so he takes head trauma and a gross bump. He goes nuts on AJ's brain with some horrible shots. He uses the COD and AJ takes three incredibly fucked up shots with zero protection. He keeps it up and AJ bleeds like a stuck pig. AJ finally knocks him leg first into a ladder and he hurts Raven's knee. He's fucked with one leg, and AJ goes even more berserk now that's he wounded. He hits Raven with the handle side of a trash can lid to show he insane he needs to be have any chance. Raven is forced to break out a STAPLE GUN, to get back control. AJ takes that shit like a trooper! Once again, the exhaustion selling is wonderful and makes everything come across as more desperate. Raven pulls the ref on top of him when AJ hits a legdrop through a table! Styles has it won, but fucking Disco Inferno runs down and powerbombs him through a table. Fuck you. Raven comes back to life and slowly climbs up to take the contract down.
***1/2

AJ's past come back to haunt him, and Raven's journey to fulfil destiny is back on track. Not bad at all, TNA.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-12/3/03

NWA-TNA PPV#37
March 26th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Goldy opens the show by butchering the American Anthem again.

Recap of last week airs. Once again showing Watts being a coward and not committing murder. Bill is fucking ashamed right now of this bastard. Bet he disowned him.

AJ STYLES STORMS SEX'S LOCKER ROOM WITH A FUCKING CHAINSAW. HE CALLS DISCO A "smurf" AND SAYS HE SHOULD CUT HIS HEAD OFF FOR COSTING HIM THE TITLE. HE KEEPS SCREAMING THEY SUCK OVER AND OVER. HE SAYS DISCO HAS 30 SECONDS TO GET TO THE RING, OR HE'S CUTTING OFF LIMBS, "F*GGOT" He leaves, and Disco makes Sanders take his spot to prove his worth to the rest of SEX. Maybe the most TNA and 00's segment ever produced.

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Mike Sanders
One of AJ's finest carry jobs of his young career. Sanders is fine and whatnot, but AJ is marvel that will not be denied no matter the shit TNA puts in front of him. Offence, control seg and finishing run are awesome thanks to him. He takes a GROSS header to the floor when he gets thrown out, and his selling is killer. Tenay says Raven is injured because of last week, and his title shot will be waiting for him when he gets back. AJ continues to carry this idiot for a while, and then SEX try to help out but they fuck it up. AJ rolls Sanders up after Disco accidentally punches him in the head.
**3/4

AJ and Disco jaw back an forth before AJ leaves these morons to yell at each other.

Recap of the Lynn/K-Dawg feud. Just form the Krew already, and leave me the fuck alone.

Match#3 Jerry Lynn vs Konnan
Lynn works harder than he has since the AJ feud ended to carry this fuckstick, and its not bad. He takes big bumps and sells well for all the shit coming the other way. Very nice of him not rightly sandbag the prick. Lynn gets rewarded by winning with a rollup
**

A luchardor decked out in yellow runs down and lays Lynn out. I don't remember whose under the mask, so I'm now terrified.

Tenay interviewed Jeff earlier today. He repeats his points about AJ fucking up by working with Russo, and he needs to get his head on straight if he ever wants to do it. He says Raven's journey to the top of the mountain may have put his best days behind him, but he's looking forward to the challenge. He's mad at Truth for what he did last week and he wants some answers. He buries Watts for being a joke that could never be a real contender for the title. This of course leads to the question of why hire a man that everyone knows is fucking awful, but TNA is going to TNA. He says there are 3 NWA titles in wrestling, Dusty has one, Jeff has one, and now David has one. He calls it a joke that he's even touching it. AMEN. Jeff gets angry when Mike asks if he regrets what he did to Russo, so he cuts the interview off.

Amazing Raven video airs:

Yeah, I'm beyond excited for Raven to beat Jeff in a few week to achieve his destiny. This has been a wonderful story to get us to this point, and now we reach act 1 of Raven winning the title and holding it hostage for the rest of the year until Jeff, AJ, or a new babyface beat him for it, No way TNA fucks this up.

The New Church (no MALICE, sadly) come out to the ring to announce his team. He explains the S&M match can only end if a wrestler is bleeding and then gets pinned, otherwise it won't count. He says the Church are sharks in a feeding frenzy when it comes to blood, and SEX will become weaker and weaker as the match goes. The TNA Asylum will become a slaughter house. Triple X's new amazing theme debuts



Daniels, Skipper and the Nazis come out. Daniels says SEX is a better religion than his his church because they have the numbers (if anyone would know) He says they can make them bleed right now and a big fight break out. SEX get the best of it until Sandman joins the party. He gets taken out as well and the lights go out, AND PERRY SATURN MAKES HIS DEBUT. He kills everyone with Saturnplexs and the crowd loses their shit. That ruled. Love Perry so much. One of my favourite Flock members.

In a pre tape, Dusty says he's the bull of these here woods, if you wheel, and he knows people think he should go away, but he just can't. He keeps throwing things into a wheelbarrow as he speaks about being one of the last men left of his era still fighting. He doesn't fear the unknown and he doesn't fear those 3 fools. He singles out David and how his daddy should have taught him respect. Tonight tradition gets taught in the Bunkhouse match. YOU BETTER FEEL YOUR HANDS YOU SONS OF BITCHES, BECAUSE HE'S STILL GOT BOTH OF HIS. Great stuff.

Horrible recap of Sonny being a sleeze to Athena. I hate this so much.

In the ring, DY is PISSED at Sonny for being a cunt and he wants to fight him. Athena comes out in a neck brace to watch said fight.

Match#4 David Young w/Athena vs Sonny Siaki
DY beats the hell out of him for a while in a fun display of offence. Sonny cuts him off with his dogshit swing into the steps where he doesn't even come close to throwing DY's head into it. I don't know if Joe ever gets to lay hands on him, but I'm praying for it. Sonny's control seg is very dull stuff. Athena eventually gets in the ring and kicks him in the balls for the DQ
*3/4

Desiree attacks her from behind and Sonny handcuffs DY to the top rope. He lays Desiree out with the neckbreaker and doesn't get that much heat.

Backstage, Goldy tries to speak to Red, BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, Alexis Laree aka Mickie James makes her debut to have his back against Trinity. She calls Goldy a bitch to further win my heart. Love her so much. This is also cool for a certain junkie cult leader down the line.

DW and Tenay ruin it right away by saying she was in that horrible battle royal from the 2nd week. Fucking idiots.

The Ungodly Trio come out for some bad mic work. Erik Watts should NEVER be the mic guy for the love of fucking God. He tries to say he's held titles before and he didn't like it, and i googled it: Turns out he's held 4 titles in his career, and i want to die just a little bit more. He keeps saying words until Jeff comes out and brains him with the guitar. Should have used a real one like HTM, but least he shut him up. The Trio leave and Jeff challenges AJ and Raven to come out to fight him! Fuck yeah. D'Lo's music hits and our favourite head wobbler comes out to confront Jeff. D'Lo says he's sick of hearing him cry and complain about everyone coming for him, when he hasn't mentioned him (he did, but i don't blame him for not watching Tenay) He says Jeff called him and promised him a level playing field and a title shot, but he somehow he got involved in Jeff's business, and now he's fighting Chris Harris tonight. Uh, did you think of promoting that, you fucking morons. Not like we've been clamouring for Harris singles push since he debuted, or anything. He says after he beats Harris he wants Jeff TONIGHT! Jeff lays the title down in the middle of the ring and says lets do it, but those pesky cocksuckers SEX come out to ruin the mood.

Disco says Raven is the #1 contender and that's a simple concept to understand. He then goes all over the place with his promo by saying SEX can sanction a title match, but then he shootz on Jeff for being an egomaniac and all the shit we've heard for months. He eventually says D'Lo can have a shot next week with SEX in his corner! He then offers him a spot in SEX, and D'Lo goes nose to nose with Jeff and says get ready to be down with the Brown. Jeff says tonight Disco will learn the meaning of not pissing him off. Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess that was.

Match#5 Dusty Rhodes vs David Flair (Bunkhouse Match)
Dusty beats the crap out of this little shitbag and its good times, if you wheel. He wins with a cowbell shot
*3/4

Dusty grabs the NWA title, but Brian steals it back and runs off.

Backstage, Goldy is with AMW. Harris acts like a HUGE fucking dickhead about his match tonight. He says he requested this match, but AMW are stronger than ever and its not a big deal. He keeps saying this is just a way to prove something to himself, and he's happy with AMW. He makes Goldy wish him luck. Storm looked like he wanted to murder him, and I'm so happy this story is finally happening.

Match#6 Amazing Red & Alexis Laree vs Kid Kash & Trinity
Red/Kash is a tired ass act, but the ladies add a new fun dynamic to it, so i don't hate this. They have a fun fight, and Mickie is especially awesome. Just a ton of a fun to watch with that magnetic energy she has. Shit breaks down and Trinity gets the win with her Moonsault
**1/4

Post match, Kash walks out on her. Fucking dickhead.

Backstage, Lynn is very mad about being attacked.

AMW's amazing titantron debuts

Match#7 Chris Harris vs D'Lo Brown
Harris gets his first big chance to shine and he does very well. His offence is on point as always, and he brings that fire we've come to know and love. D'Lo is great as always. He really lets Harris beat the hell out of him and look like a million bucks as a result. The ref gets bumped and D'Lo goes for it, so i guess he's SEX. Both men miss their respective finishes, and that shithead Disco comes out for some fuckery. He hits Harris with the Ace Cutter in plain view of D'Lo and the big fella makes the pin to win
**3/4

Post match, D'Lo leaves up the ramp instead of with SEX. Hmmmm

NEXT WEEK: JEFF JARRETT VS D'LO BROWN FOR THE NWA TITLE. IF D'LO WINS HE JOINS SEX. THAT'S NOT AT ALL WHAT COKED UP DISCO SAID. LOLTNA

Match#8 Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper & The Nazi Harris Brother vs The New Church, The Sandman & Perry Saturn (Sadistic Madness Match)
Don't know what happened to Ki to make us suffer through the Nazis, but i hope its a good reason. Tenay makes a good point (Fuck you, Donnie) that Sandman busting his head open with the beer can fucks him up for the stipulation. Also, TNA will reuse this concept for the DOOMSDAY (CLICK) MATCH in 07, which i can't wait to drunk review. TNA decides they should work legal man rules with this stip, further showing us they don't understand basic match ideas. It only last 30 seconds before shit breaks down, but it happened and I won't let TNA get away with stupidity. They have a big brawl and its sloppy as fuck, but charming in a way thanks to the faces. Slash goes batshit with a spike and rips Daniels' head to shreds in the big highlight. Eventually everyone is bleeding and fucked up to the point where they can't stand.
LOLTNA HITS US IN A MAJOR WAY! Truth runs out and fights SEX, despite turning heel LAST WEEK, and he has fucking Mable with him

See, fucking Mable. He lays out Daniels with a shitty sit-out powerbomb and the faces steal it
**

Truth and Mable leave through the crowd, and SEX jump the faces in the ring. Its another horrible beating from these morons, before Jeff runs down and cleans house on them with a chair. D'Lo runs down and gets in his face like a madman, so Jeff brains him to close the show.

What a clusterfuck. All i got to say is LOLTNA.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-12/3/03

NWA-TNA PPV#38
April 2nd, 2003
TNA ASYLUM

TONIGHT. DOUBLE J VS D-LO FOR THE WORLD TITLE. KID KASH VS LYNN FOR THE X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP.

Disco is in the ring to start my nightmare off. He calls D-Lo out to talk to him about his title shot, and Tenay reminds me that if D-Lo wins the title he has to join SEX. Which is a result of that clusterfuck from last week, D-Lo doesn't come out, so Disco rants about how Jeff can't be trusted and how D-lo needs to join them because he doesn't have any other friends in TNA. He keeps talking and i tune out. BUT AJ STYLES RUSHES THE RING AND KICKS THE FUCK OUT OF DISCO IN REVENGE FOR HIM COSTING HIM THE TITLE. Awesome beatdown from AJ as he shows some incredible fire, before Disco cuts off a springboard with a chair to the face. They keep blasting the piss out of each other and its fantastic. Raven slides in the ring and sits and the corner and watches the fight. AJ gets the best of it until Blackshirts drag him off. Raven grabs a chair and gets in Disco's face, but D-Lo runs out and goes nose to Raven! SEX now come out and keep everyone apart, and Raven leaves to go and get high. Awesome segment.

Tenay interviewed Lynn and K-Dawg earlier today. No thanks.

We find Goldy in the perch with Raven! He says he's known since childhood that his DESTINY has always been to win the NWA world championship. He keeps screaming about his destiny and how he doesn't care who its against, but he wants his respect from the filthy slime fans. He promises to walk through hell to get the championship.

Recap of Dusty/David Flair.

Match#1 Brian Lawler w/David Flair vs Chris Harris
Tenay says Harris has asked for a singles match to prove himself as a singles star. I'm sure TNA will eventually push him to the top of the company as a top face, and won't job him out to a fat drugged out Dustin Rhodes This is pretty fun for a few minutes. Brian isn't setting the world on fire or anything, but he can do basic heel stuff really well, and Harris rules at taking a beating. Harris' comeback is pretty good, before Flair keeps getting involved to stop him from winning. Harris eventually takes him out, but it lets BL clobber him with the belt to steal it
**
They kick him for a while until Dusty makes the save, if you wheel. He gets the title back for a moment, but BL steals it back. Dusty gets on the mic and buries them for being the worst and how they have to steal. While this is going on, you can hear a fan say "You're a smurf, Brian" and other fans start laughing. Brian eventually challenges Dusty to a Ladder Match for the title after a lotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt of talking.

Backstage, Saturn and Sandman are with Goldy! She says they're facing the Nazis and Daniels tonight in a 6 man, but they don't have a partner. Saturn says you can't join a revolution after a war has ended, but they've got an old brother here to fight with them. Father James walks over and offers one of his men as a thank you for having his back last week. Sandman says they've got it covered. James is pissed because he brought Saturn in last week to fight for him, and now he turns on him. Saturn dares him to bring his shit! Good stuff

Match#2 Alexis Laree vs Trinity
This is fine enough for a few minutes. Mickie is still a couple of years away from becoming awesome, and Trinity never reaches a level more than passable. Raven comes out and sits in the corner hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Kash comes out on the ramp to watch, but he makes no attempt to save because he's a coward. Trinity wins with a Yakuza Kick
*

RAVEN KILLS TRINITY WITH THE EVENFLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He drags Alexis by the arm and leads her through the crowd to meet a Gathering.

Backstage, Goldy is with Jeff Jarrett. She questions him about changing his attitude as of late, and lying about a charity event last week (?) He gets angrier and angrier at her, and he grabs her by the throat and threatens to treat her like one of the boys if she keeps her shit up. Classy as always, Russo.

THE THIRD MAN IS NEW FUCKING JACK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.NEW JACK IS GOING TO SCALP NAZIS. I ADORE WRESTLING.

Match#3 New Jack, Perry Saturn & The Sandman vs Christopher Daniels & The Nazi Harris Brothers
TNA fucks it up by not making it No DQ so Jack can kill a bitch. Still, this is good fun from 4 of the 6 who can actually wrestle. Everyone gets some shine and the highlight is Saturn/Daniels in one of those "Never thought they would meet" type deals. ASYLUM BRAWL breaks out so Jack can do what he does best. He tries to kill one of the Nazi's by splashing him through some tables, but Brian Lee shoves him off. Aww, son of a bitch. NC also attack the Nazi to show they hate everyone. Back in the ring Saturn cuts off Slash's interference and beats the other Nazi with a DVD
**

BART FUCKING GUNN SNEAKS IN THE RING AND BEATS THE HELL OUT OF SATURN. WHAT THE SHIT, RUSSO? He's wearing a SEX shirt, so i guess we have a new member.

After his DSOTR episode, I'm actually a fan of Bart Gunn. Dude was thrown to the wolves by JR, and he fucked the fat prick over by smashing Dr Death's stupid head in. Yeah, it nuked his career, but what a way to go out.

Backstage, Kid Kash says he never need Trinity's help. What a dick

Match#4 Sonny Siaki w/Desiree vs David Young (Desiree is handcuffed to the ropes)
Oh, i forgot this was a thing. DY again makes the most of any TV time he gets by going nuts with offence, and Sonny is growing into a decent enough bumper. His offence is still trash, but he makes DY look good which is all i can ask from him. DY's comeback is pretty fun as always, and TNA actually rewards the guy by giving the win with a rollup
**1/2

Athena comes out to the ring and helps DY handcuff Sonny to the ropes. They uncuff Desiree and DY nukes her with his Spinebuster.

Recap of Truth's heel turn, which somehow became a face turn. LOLTNA

Match#4 Elix Skipper vs Ron "The Truth" Killings
Skipper jumps him from behind to confirm the turn, so we at least get fired up Truth on the offence. He breaks out his killer dive over the top ropes and really beats the shit out Lance Storm's favourite wrestler. Skipper eventually crotches him on top and has a pretty good control seg. Truth takes some gross bumps on the outside and really helps to further getting Skipper over. Daniels comes out as Truth makes his comeback and nearly costs Ron the match. He survives it though, and hits the Lie Detector off the top to win
**3/4

The heels try to attack, but Mabel makes the save and cleans house.

In a pre tape, Watts says some horrible words.

NEXT WEEK. NASCAR FUCKS ARE BACK. DUSTY VS LAWLER IN A LADDER MATCH. SATURN VS BART GUNN. AN ARMED ASYLUM MATCH WHERE THEY'LL PLACE PLUNDA AROUND THE ASYLUM.

Match#5 Kid Kash (c) vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
The ECW match we never got, or really wanted tbh. Lots of standoffs and armdrags to start. Just the shit i, and anyone with some brains should hate. I watched a PS5 unboxing video, and nothing happened when i got back to this. The evil Luchador shows up and attacks Lynn with a Tornado DDT, and Kash steals it
*3/4

Hype for JJ/D-Lo at SummerSlam 98

We cut away to D-Lo and Jeff brawling in the back. SHIT IS ON

Match#6 Jeff Jarrett (c) vs D-Lo Brown (NWA World's Heavyweight Championship D-Lo will be forced to join SEX if he wins)
ASYLUM BRAWL TWICE IN ONE NIGHT. FUCK YEAH. D-lo's not a brawler, but he adapts really well because talent wins out 99% of the time. They clobber each for a bit, and that pesky fuckface Disco attacks Jeff from behind to turn the tide. Really fun control seg from D-Lo back inside, helped of course by Jeff being a great babyface. Jeff's attempted comebacks keep getting cut off by Disco, and it feels like D-Lo might really steal it. Jeff finally fights back and its wonderful. He hits he stunning dropkick at a point, and i would put it up against the greats. They steal each others finishers to kill some time before the ref gets bumped. Lots of bullshit breaks out with SEX getting involved and Jeff kicking out of belt shots etc. Raven comes out and....Sits in the corner! Alrighty then. Sanders accidently kicks D-Lo, and Jeff hits the Stroke to win
**3/4

RAVEN IMMEDIATELY STANDS UP AND GOES NOSE TO NOSE WITH JEFF!!!!! BLACKSHIRTS GET IN THE MIDDLE AND SEX ALSO COME OUT AND STAND BETWEEN THEM. BUT JEFF DEMANDS THEY CLEAR THE RING, AND RAVEN TELLS SEX TO FUCK OFF, AND IT'S ON. JEFF BACKS HIM INTO THE CORNER AND STARTS PUNCHING HIM, BUT ALEXSIS LAREE JUMPS ON HIS BACK. RAVEN'S BRAINWASHING SKILLS ARE SO GOOD HE CAN TURN SOMEONE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. JEFF THROWS HER OFF AND HITS A DISGUSTING CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL TO CLOSE THE SHOW.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-12/3/03

NWA-TNA PPV #39
April 9th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Recap of Raven sitting in lots of corners and brainwashing people, and New Jack scalping Nazis.

Match#1 The Sandman & New Jack vs The Nazi Harris Brothers vs The New Church w/Father Mitchell (ARMED ASYLUM MATCH)
NC were added during the week after everything that went down last week. Weapons have been placed around the Asylum for everyone to use, and it just feels unnecessary given whose in this match and what they can do. This is a big bloody brawl with lots of ugly bumps and plunda shots. Hard to recap, but good fun to watch. Slash and Jack are the standouts in terms of being insane lunatics willing to do whatever it takes to win, while the Nazis are the worst as always. New Jack hits the 187 off the balcony to take out Slash, but he fucks himself up in the process (as is tradition), so Sandman is all alone. Sadly, the fucking Nazis his the shitty H-Bomb to win
**3/4

Worst possible choice for the winners. LOLTNA is forever.

Backstage Goldy is with Bart Gunn (He's going by his real name, but he's not here long, so it doesn't matter) He says he's famous for KO people, and tonight will be no different, D-Lo bursts through the door and demands Disco give him a match with Sanders. He leaves the scene and the camera pans wide to show Chris Harris sitting in SEX's locker room. BAW GAWD. Disco asks him to find Sanders to tell him about the match, and Harris agrees.

On the stage, Tenay announces a Triple Threat Tag match with the team that wins and the one that doesn't lose facing off at a later date for the #1 contendership. He then announces that XXX demanded they be added to it to make a 4 way with the stipulation if they win there will be no #1 contender, but if they lose, the team that beats them will get the shot, AND the #1 contenders stip will still be valid on top it. Russo, you fucking cumrag.

Raven arrives backstage with Alexis Laree and Julio Dinero! THE GATHERING HAS BEEN BORN.

Dusty now does the Interrogation

Tonight's ladder match against Brian = Sensational
Ted Turner= Daddy
WCW = *blows raspberry*
S.E.X. = Two types of sex
FLAIR OR RACE = Harley is the baddest man alive, cept me
Koloff = Superpowers
Dustin Rhodes= Son
Jarrett= Champion of the World
NWA title = Wouldn't it be amazing if a 50 year old man won the title one more time?

Match#2 Dusty Rhodes vs Brian Lawler (Ladder Match for Ric Flair's NWA title)
A super fun brawl starts right away with amazing punches and big bumps from both men. Dusty is busted open right away and his selling is amazing! Brian is also great as the shithead, and I'm sad he's nearly done in TNA. He's wonderful in control and he takes some GROSS bumps on Dusty's comeback. Nasty moment when he nearly snaps his leg when he lands sideways on an open ladder. Dusty uses a step ladder to beat the shit out of him AND HE DOES THE BIONIC ELBOW OFF THE TOP IT. DUSTY RULES. He keeps cutting Brian off and its so much fun. David Flair runs down and helps Brian take back over, BUT NIKITA KOLOFF RUNS OUT AND SHOVES DAVID OFF THE LADDER. He pulls the title down and cleans the ring before giving Dusty the belt back
**3/4

They hug post match!!!!!!! Sadly, Watts shows up and steals the belt back because we can't have nice things.

In the carpark, Storm confronts Harris about being with SEX. Harris tries to say he was asking for a title shot and SEX is trying to help the business. Storm tells him to kiss his ass before storming off. Sanders shows up and Harris informs him that Disco wants to see him. Sanders starts talking about HEAT and that's me out.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Disco Inferno
AJ is tasked with the biggest carry job of his young life, and hey, he does really well to the shock of no one. Lot's of fire to start to get over his anger, and to his credit, Disco takes a good beating. Disco cuts off a springboard with a dropkick to the ribs and his control seg is a lot of fun thanks to AJ being AJ. Lots of cool bumps and selling of the hurt ribs. Disco isn't very good, but with all these things in his favour its one of his best performances since WCW died, and probably a couple of years before that tbh. AJ's comeback is awesome as always! Loads and fire and good selling. Really fun finishing run for the last couple of minutes. AJ nails the Clash after Disco gets caught with his feet on the ropes, and in a really good "fuck you" he returns the favour by putting his feet on the ropes and he gets the 3
***
Post match, Disco bitches to the ref and eventually attacks him. He drags him out in the crowd and beats him with a chair. Really cool we're giving so much time to Disco. Thanks, Russo and Andy.

Backstage, Disco changes his tune and sucks up to Sanders and tells him to take out D-Lo. Holy shit, just stop all of this.

Match#4 Sonny Siaki & Desiree vs David Young & Athena
"Boy there's some HEAT between these 4" - Tenay

Thankfully, (and i use that VERY loosely) Sonny convinces DY to turn on Athena and join SEX. He kills her with his amazing Spinebuster and Desiree gets the win
1/2*

Backstage, Saturn says he was told you had to have 500 fights before you could be legit. He says he got wrapped up in the goofiness of it all. Before he can continue, Double J shows up and rants about Tenay questioning his tactics as of late. Saturn rightly gets mad at him, but before he can shove Moppy does his throat, Bart attacks him from behind to start the match.

Match#5 Perry Saturn vs Bart Gunn
This fucking rules! Incredibly violent from start to finish, Bart unloads some nasty punches to fuck up Perry's eye, and Perry returns the favor by dropping Gunn on his neck with some gross German's. Saturn goes for the arm to stop the punches from ending his night, but Bart is able to survive it and continue to wreaking his shit. Perry's selling is incredible and hard to watch at points as his eyes are glazed over and he looks like he could pass out at any moment. BART HITS A DELAYED VERTICAL BRAINBUSTER AND PERRY'S BLOOD STAINS BART'S STOMACH. Fucking hell. The beating gets worse and worse until Saturn makes a dramatic comeback. He keeps dropping him on his skull and kicking him in the face and gets closer and closer to ending it! BART THROWS A HAIL MARY PUNCH, BUT HE BREAKS HIS HAND, AND PERRY QUICKLY SNATCHES IT AND BENDS IT BACK AND BART TAPS OUT.
***1/4

Backstage, Jack and Sandman argue back and forth, BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, FATHER JAMES THROWS A FIREBALL IN SANDMAN'S FACE! Goldy tries to ruin it by shouting "FIRE" in her horrible voice, but an awesome brawl between NC and Jack saves the day. They kick the shit out of him and Slash screams "EVIL" and Father James says he loves the smell of burning flesh in the morning.

Match#6 D-Lo Brown vs Mike Sanders
This is pretty fun. Sanders isn't good at much, but he's a warm body for D-Lo to work with, so not all bad. SEX come out for some fuckery that we really don't need. They keep trying to give Sanders the win, but D-Lo fights through it all and wins with the Lo-Down
**1/4

SEX beat the shit out of him post match. Big meh.

Earlier today, Tenay interviewed Trinity. She talks about her history of extreme sports and breaking into wrestling by training with Mikey, and her eventual debut with TNA. Kash walks over to ruin things by talking about how he made her etc. Just the lame as fuck heel shit we've seen a million times.

Match#7 Raven w/The Gathering vs Kid Kash w/Trinity
Sadly, the belt isn't on the line so Raven can rescue the X-Division from this toolbox. This is another match ECW never ran, and not one i ever wanted tbh. Raven rules on his end, but Kash is extra botchy tonight and makes The Gathering look like assholes when he slips off the ropes and they have to stand and wait for him to do it correctly. Thankfully, Raven controls most of this and blasts the piss out of Kash. Good beating from our cult leader for a while, and Kash is good and hateable enough for it to be really fun watching him eat shit. Kash reverses the DTH to cut him off and mount his comeback. Awesome bumping from Raven as Kash goes crazy with offence that mostly hits clean aside from a flub or two. Kash misses a moonsault and demands Trinity help him. She hits Raven with a Rana and takes out the Gathering before finally walking out on this dickhead. Raven gets back up and nails the EVENFLOW to win, which kind of renders all that pointless.
**3/4

DW hypes the main event and announces that CHRIS SABIN will be making his debut. HAIL.

One of the Nascar fucks joins commentary. Thanks, Doc.

Match#8 Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper vs Shark Boy & Jason Cross vs Chris Sabin and Johnny Storm vs Jerry Lynn & Amazing Red (#1 Contenders vs No Contenders Elimination Match)
DW says Sabin/Storm are the ones to watch because we've never seen them, and that also means they other haven't either. DW is the best. Lots of different pairings to start with everyone getting a chance to shine. Red/Shark, Daniels/Shark and Sabin/Skipper are the highlights. Sabin is awesome even with two years under his belt, and Skipper adds to it by giving him a ton in between beating the shit out of him. Wild Dive train breaks out with everyone outdoing the next man. A luchador runs out and shoves Cross off the top and Daniels nails Angels Wings to get rid of him. They keep going insane and it gets faster and faster. Daniels pulls the ref out and evil luchador hits Sabin with a DDT and Lynn hits the Cradle to get rid of him. Lynn is finally isolated and we get a killer control seg. SKIPPER DOES THE RANA ROPE WALK! Lynn manages to gut it out and Red gets the hot tag and goes batshit. Breaks down from there and the finishing run is great. The belt shot fails this time, and Red counters Daniels trying to throw him out of the ring into a cradle and he gets the 3!
***

Backstage, Erik Watts....

In the ring, Smug Tenay calls out Jeff for an interview. Tenay has that smug shithead look on his face as he demands to know why Jeff has been attacking people in the last week, and why he has such hostility. Maybe, there's an inane cult leader trying to kill him, just a thought you fucking goof. Jeff says he acts like this because he doesn't know if he has friends and who is his enemy. Tenay accuses of him being paranoid, which leads to Jeff getting angrier at him. Even more so when Tenay says he's representing the NWA. Raven thankfully comes out with the Gathering to stop this awful shit. He tells him to beat up Tenay if he thinks it'll make him a big man. He knows this all really about him, because in 21 days DESTINY comes true, and all the bad dreams that Jeff had when he was a kid will come true. He knows the title means more than his family and he would kill to keep it. Raven says Jeff is NOTHING without the world title, which leads Jeff to say that while Raven was detoxing (Think he's still clean at this point) he was winning titles in the Asylum, and he can bring his drug induced ass into this ring and we can do it tonight! Blackshirts scramble to the ring to stop it from happening, and Raven demands they get out so they can fight. Jeff clears the ring AND HE LAYS THE TITLE DOWN LIKE RAVEN DID TO AJ A FEW WEEKS AGO! HE CALLS FOR RAVEN TO GET IN, BUT DUSTY STUPIDLY COMES FROM BEHIND TO TRY TO TALK TO JEFF, AND JEFF SPINS AROUND AND MURDERS HIM WITH A CHAIR SHOT. RAVEN LAUGHS AT THE SHOW FADES TO BLACK AND DW SAYS THAT'S THE PARANOIA. Or, a stupid person got smacked for doing something dumb. Either way, wonderful segment to close one of the best PPV's in TNA's short history.

 

[BigVanDonnie]

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JEFF JARRETT. Since-20/11/02
NWA-TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPION: KID KASH. Since-12/2/03
NWA-TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: TRIPLE X. Since-12/3/03

NWA-TNA PPV#40
April 16th, 2003
TNA Asylum

Recap of last week's

TONIGHT. XXX VS LYNN/RED FOR THE TITLES. AMW WILL ADDRESS THEIR ISSUES

Dusty is outside in the carpark waiting for Jeff after last week.

We come back to the Perch for another Raven serom. He has some really horrible sideburns and is otherwise clean shaven everywhere else, and he looks horrible. He formally introduces Julio and Alexis as The Gathering. They worship the altar of his brilliance. He says they are here to stop Jeff from turning this place into a 80's SOUTHERN RASSLIN promotion from his youth. Well, it's connected to the NWA dude, so it's not far off. He says when threw his childhood toys away when he became a man, and he's disgusted Jeff hasn't done the same. So he will take his power from him by winning the title and fulfilling HIS DESTINY. Each week Jeff's sanity is coming closer and closer to being gone forever and the men in the white coats will get him, and take it from Raven that its not a pleasant experience. D-Lo Brown will become a victim tonight of the EVENFLOW. He hits the line and we're done.

Match#1 Raven w/The Gathering vs D-Lo Brown
Really smart booking from TNA to have Raven fight D-lo because he was the last challenger, and if he can beat him, he can probably beat Jeff. D-Lo is a house of fire to start and it's so much fun watching him go nuts like it's 98. Raven drop-toe-holds him to the floor to take over and we get a criminally short, but fun control seg. D-lo takes back over pretty easily, so the Gathering start getting involved to help their junkie God. The ref gets bumped and Julio throws powder in D-lo eyes. He's blinded and thinks he's beating Raven's ass, but it's actually the Gathering. Raven sneaks back in and hits the EVENFLOW to steal it
**1/2

They replay the amazing Raven/Jeff hype video with a few new clips added in. Best stuff TNA has done, and something they will top during their peak.

DW SCREAMS THAT AJ WILL FIGHT DISCO IN A STREET FIGHT. KASH WILL DEFEND HIS TITLE AGAINST SANDERS. One out of two isn't bad, i guess.

Backstage, Goldy is with SEX. Disco rallies the troops for tonight. He hypes up his match with AJ and makes one of the Nazi's punch him to prove he's tough, or some nonsense.

Match#2 AJ Styles vs Disco Inferno (Street Fight)
AJ is spitting mad and beats the holy fuck out of this stupid little prick. Sadly, his anger gets the best of him and it lets Disco take over and really bash the piss out of him. They have a killer Asylum Brawl, where AJ bumps like a complete fucking lunatic to make this super fun. To Disco's credit he works as hard as he can and holds up his end. SEX gets involved and AJ gets busted open after taking a header into a wall. His selling is awesome and it hinders him making a full comeback because he's woozy. Sanders gets involved, so D-Lo makes the save and runs him off! AJ RUNS FULL SPEED AND LEAPS OVER THE RAIL WITH A BEAUTIFUL FOREARM TO TAKE DISCO'S HEAD OFF. The Asylum Brawl now belongs to AJ Styles. His comeback is amazing as beats the fuck out of Disco in amazing fashion. Loads of gross strikes and hate. All the stuff we love him for during this period. Lots of cool offence with a chair and it looks like AJ will end it, BUT DISCO HITS A CHARTBUSTER ON A CHAIR SENDING IT INTO AJ'S JAW AND HE STEALS THE WIN.
***
AJ's best carry job since last week.

In the back, Dusty gives another impassioned speech about how much he loves the NWA. Watts walks into the scene and Dusty rips him for being a sack of shit and not being worth of touching the belt. Dusty walks off and Watts throws a bag with the title in it and drops Dusty. He goes to hit him again, but Goldy screams at him to stop nhd he does. Oh, fuck off.

In the ring, Kash says sorry to Trinity for being an asshole last week. Stupidly, she believes him and stays at ringside with him.

Match#3 Kid Kash (C) w/Trinity vs Mike Sanders (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Not good at all. Big sloppy mess that mostly focuses on Trinity helping Kash keep control or get it back, because he's a useless fucking turd. Kash hits his flipping Van Terminator to win after Trinity hits her Moonsault
3/4*

Post match, Nazis and Sanders murder her with the H bomb after Kash runs away like a coward. Fuck all of this.

In the back, New Church are standing by. Father James says last week was a bloody massacre cookout. He says loves making people bleed while being drunk, but Sandman pushed his friendship away so he had to pay. He blames Saturn for making Sandman turn on him and rejoin the Extreme Blood Brothers. He says he has found a dragon that will eat his flesh. Awesome promo.

Saturn comes to the ring and says he's going to shit in Father James' house and he wants the dragon. THE DRAGON IS MIKE FUCKING AWESOME. Mitchell getting the turncoat to join him in fighting ECW loyalists is the best!

Match#4 Perry Saturn vs Mike Awesome w/Father James Mitchell
Pretty fun fight between two angry dudes. Lots of great strikes and hate that's probably a little real given everything that went done. Awesome hits his Awesome rail dive and looks pretty good for someone who hasn't wrestled in a real match in about a year at this point. They keep trading offence and dropping each other on heads, and it's fun stuff for a while. Tenay wants me to stab him when he says we don't expect Awesome to come off the top. Not like he was famous for that, or anything. Stupid cunt. Sandman, Jack and the NC eventually run down and fight, and the match is thrown out
**1/4

In the back, Goldy screams at Jeff Jarrett whose throwing plunda around the backstage area.

Earlier today, Smug fuck interviewed AMW. Harris says wrestling singles matches isn't a sign they're having problems, and he's got Storm's back tonight. He says there is nothing wrong with shaking hands with someone you wrestled, like SEX. Storm calls bullshit and says they're the enemy in the ring. Harris says outside of the ring they can have a beer with them though, and they'll win the titles again. Storm keeps rolling his eyes as Harris promises to be there for him tonight when he faces DY.

In the back, Sonny says words. Nope.

Match#5 James Storm vs David Young w/Sonny Siaki
Harris doesn't show up to have Storm's back, so i guess AMW are dead. This is awesome, though. Both dudes go nuts with offence and have a wonderful sprint. Classic case of young guys trying to get noticed by the fans and the office. Storm has a ton of fire and DY is WAY better suited as bully beating the shit out of people, so that helps as well. DY murders him with a powerslam to the outside and has a fun control seg. Storm's comeback is great as always, and he really shows that his eventual singles run will be as fun as i remember it being. Storm has it won but Sonny drags the ref out, and Desire attacks Storm. He throws her off and walks in DY's Spinebuster and that does it
**3/4

Great work having his back Harris, you fucking dickhead.

Recap of the Blood Brothers/NC feud.

SANDMAN AND NEW JACK ARE PLAYING CHESS. DEAD. Goldy asks if they're on the same page, and Sandman goes into the speech about being Extreme forever etc. Jack says he came here to beat the life out of someone and his job is to dive off the highest point and kill someone. If he wins a belt, he'll pawn it because he doesn't care. Sandman checks him and Jack calls him a cheat and storms off to stab someone. Sandman breaks a can over his head, and i notice he's wearing a Raven shirt, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Match#6 Extreme Blood-Brothers vs New Church w/Father James Mitchell (No DQ)
ALL HELL BREAKS LUCE RIGHT AWAY, AND IT'S THE BEST. Big fun sloppy brawl between 4 of our favourite sons. Lots of plunda and blood, and Slash being the standout as a complete fucking lunatic willing to die for his art. Dude should have won the X-Division title at some point. Fucking TNA being the worst. Father James uses his spike to bust the faces open and Saturn runs down to help. Jack has it won after the 187, but Awesome runs down and kills him with an Awesome Bomb through a table and the NC steal it
**3/4

POSTMACH, THE LIGHTS GO OUT AND IT'S SA.......Justin Credible. Yuck. Bigge is the devil, and this is the proof. He runs them off with cane shots and does the pose.

Match#7 Christopher Daniels & Elix Skipper (C) vs Amazing Red and Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA Word Tag Team Championships)
Ki's off in Japan, so we get this awesome tandman again. DW says XXX are PISSED at Tenay for dubbing the challengers the "X-Division dream team", so they want to prove he's a smug lying dick by winning this match, then next week facing off in a #1 contenders match for the X-Title. This is wonderful as you expect. Red/XXX is again an amazing matchup that not only never fails, but manages to break out new cool shit each time. Lynn is working harder this week as he's not forced to work with shitbags like Konnan. He gets isolated. and XXX are again amazing at beating the snot out of someone. Red's hot tag is an insane barrage of cool offence and wild bumps. Daniels rips his head off with a gros lariat and shouts "THAT'S AMAZING" They beat the crap out of him and Red is a way better FIP than Lynn, so this is the best stuff you could want. Amazing spot where Skipper launches Red into an STO and then into the Koji Clutch. He fights out and Lynn's hot tag is good fun as he displays a lot more fire than normal. XXX again die off everything to make it better, but Lynn is great in this role. THE FACES DO A FUCKING SPRINGBOARD DOOMSDAY RANA. JESUS CHRIST, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. The masked dude shoves Red off the top and takes him out, so Lynn is all alone. They clobber him for a while in brutal fashion and have him dead. They set him up for something in the corner, BUT HE DOUBLE LEGS SKIPPER AND SENDS HIM INTO DANIELS WHO GET CROTCHED, AND HE ROLLS UP SKIPPER TO STEAL THE WIN AND THE TITLES. Holy shit, what a match
***3/4

"AMAZING RED FINALLY HAS A TITLE"- Don West.

XXX kick the shit out of them post match, but Double J runs down and murders them with a trash can lid. He grabs the mic and says Raven has destiny in 14 days, well tonight this is JARRETT'S CLOCKWORK ORANGE HOUSE OF FUN. He's cutting the balls off him tonight by beating him in his own match. He tries to storm the SEX locker room, but Alexis runs out smacks him with a trash can lid. HE NO SELLS IT AND KILLS HER AND THEN SMACKS JULIO WHEN HE WALKS OUT THE DOOR. He keeps beating the fuck out of him and it's the best. The bell rings and we've got a match

Match#8 Jeff Jarrett vs The Gathering (Clockwork Orange House of Fun Match)
They finally turn the tide and clobber him for a while. Really fun stuff from Raven's new kids, and pissed off babyface Jeff is the best Jeff. Lots of plunda shots and Jeff bleeds like a stuck pig. DW keeps saying Jeff is not thinking and Raven has gotten into his head. DW is God. Jeff gets dirty on his comeback and beats the fuck out of them. Alexis takes a wonderful shitkicking and it's another reminder of how great she was/is before WWE broke her. One REALLY nasty bump into a fence that folds her up in a gross way. He sets them up on a table and goes for a splash off the top, BUT RAVEN HITS HIM WITH A TRASH CAN AND SUPERPLEXES HIM THROUGH HIS OWN GATHERING. AMAZING. Julio manages to drag himself on top to steal the win
***

Raven murders him with the EVENFLOW and stands over his dead body to close the show.

My God, what an episode. Two bangers in a row scares me to no end, but I'll happily take it.