Do you plan on having kids?

[Solidus1]

And of course, from the great Jordan Peterson, a fellow psychologist.

 

[Red Rain]

I bet this guy had great parents.

 

[Jacob Fox]

Sure, no problem. I shall also post some important quotes from studies. From Pew Research Center

"Other statistics from the Witherspoon Institute, a conservative think tank in Princeton, New Jersey, demonstrate that 66 percent of children from single-parent households live below the poverty level and nearly 50 percent of adults who receive welfare began the program after becoming a single parent. Only about 10 percent of children raised in a two-parent family live below the poverty level."

"Studies conducted by Dr. Paul Amato, Professor of Family Sociology and Demography at Pennsylvania State University show that children who grow up with both biological parents in the same household are less likely to experience a variety of cognitive, emotional and social problems. Dual-parent households often maintain higher standards of living, therefore providing more effective parenting skills with less stressful life circumstances. Examining potential advantages of a single-parent household is also beneficial. Leaving a relationship that exposes your child to marital conflict is a positive change because your child will no longer be entangled in parental discord at home"

"Exposure to single parenthood as a child also raises the probability of next generation single parenthood by approximately 120 percent. McLanahan's research testifies that daughters of single parents are 30 to 53 percent more likely to marry as teenagers, 75 to 111 percent more likely to give birth while teenagers and are more likely to experience marital severance and have babies out of wedlock."

And it closes with this

"Any parenting model, whether it's single parent, biological dual parent, stepparent or cross-generational has the capacity to incorporate positive parenting methods such as understanding developmental needs, talking and listening, modeling respect, encouragement and participation."

Absolutely.
I'd love to know what factors can skew information like this.

Do you have copies of the studies so I could look at the research methodologies? Being that the Witherspoon Institute has in the past faced criticism for skewing research in a way that supports their predetermined viewpoint, I'd want the actual studies and methodology before I could really take anything from them seriously. Please keep in mind, this is not an attack on them because they're conservative either. There are plenty of liberal institutes that do this too. I am a research purist and I prefer to go into a study open to interpret things without bias rather than interpreting in a way that supports my conclusions. I find that much easier to do with the research methodology and the actual statistical results rather than pulling information that likely was concluded from the abstract.

For example, when I began studying the paranormal, I completely believed in it but let the research speak for itself. The conlusions were hurtful to me, but I took them for what they were without bias. I prefer the actual study rather than someone interpretation of it, which is what those quotes are.

 

[RedDwarfTechy]

Hellllllllllll no. Diapers? No sleep? No thank you.

Not to mention it's a literal financial sinkhole.

I have a nephew who I adore, but the best part is when he starts throwing tantrums, I can hand him back to his parents. I'm quite happy with that arrangement.

 

[Solid Snake]

He will likely reply when he gets up (sleeping meow).

To me I believe it is a bad idea to raise a child alone. If you had the option to not do it, it is a better option. I will leave my emotions out of this and my own experiences and explain why. A lot of it is down to stress. Emotional stress, physical stress, and financial stress. When you are a single parent you have to constantly juggle social life, work, family, the child (or children), personal (dating), and income.

When you take in to account how the economy is right now (and has been for the last 10 years) and how hard it is for people to find work (and in some cases keep it), that alone makes it even harder. Looking from the outside in, anyone can see this would be harder mentally but because I know you are a skeptic, here is a short study done on the mental hardships faced by single mothers due to income and lack of social support: Mental health problems among single and partnered mothers. The role of financial hardship and social support. - PubMed - NCBI

I won't pretend I know everything or know of all the experiences of single parents (particularly mothers) out there but because of financial struggles, being a two parent system is made harder, and beyond that a single one being even more so.

Does this make sense? Children can grow up to be mentally healthy adults, but it isn't always the kids who suffer this system of parenting.

 

[Solid Snake]

Hellllllllllll no. Diapers? No sleep? No thank you.

Not to mention it's a literal financial sinkhole.

I have a nephew who I adore, but the best part is when he starts throwing tantrums, I can hand him back to his parents. I'm quite happy with that arrangement.

You could always consider fostering if that is a thing over there. :bodallas:
Or, just stick to cats... Cats are cool people.

 

[RedDwarfTechy]

You could always consider fostering if that is a thing over there. :bodallas:
Or, just stick to cats... Cats are cool people.

I'm not what you call a cat person. Or a pet person in general. I have a very polite yet distanced relationship with domestic animals and I like it that way 5:

I also don't like being responsible for someone's life, be it an animal or person. The most I would do is basically sponsor a kid's education or something.

Society and I guess our species in general, has moulded us to think you need to find a mate, procreate, and 'leave an heir'. I personally call BS on all that.

I got one life (that we can be sure of) and i'm not spending a minute of it doing something I don't wanna do. So the whole marriage, kids, pets thing is a very easy no for me.
:

 

[Solid Snake]

I'm not what you call a cat person. Or a pet person in general. I have a very polite yet distanced relationship with domestic animals and I like it that way 5:

I also don't like being responsible for someone's life, be it an animal or person. The most I would do is basically sponsor a kid's education or something.

Society and I guess our species in general, has moulded us to think you need to find a mate, procreate, and 'leave an heir'. I personally call BS on all that.

I got one life (that we can be sure of) and i'm not spending a minute of it doing something I don't wanna do. So the whole marriage, kids, pets thing is a very easy no for me.
:

You knowing what you want and what you don't, and not doing something to just do it is a good thing.
Relationships are hard work, kids are even harder, and even cats can be a handful so I understand.

 

[Nikki Nitro]

You knowing what you want and what you don't, and not doing something to just do it is a good thing.
Relationships are hard work, kids are even harder, and even cats can be a handful so I understand.

Oh noo! Cats everywhere I look!

 

[Solid Snake]

Oh noo! Cats everywhere I look!

Just wait until the cats take over the world... I mean....

 

[Jacob Fox]

Everything you said makes perfect sense but doesn't refute the only point I was trying to make and that is that a single parent CAN raise a child as emotionally and psychology healthy as a two parent household. Of course there will be inconsistencies and exceptions on BOTH sides. That's the very reason I didn't want to do this debate to begin with. I can find information to support both of our positions and this will be an exercise in futility.

Technically, to prove either viewpoint, we have to do more than just find some data that shows how the single parent family differs from the two parent family. I WISH psychology was that easy. No, in fact, we would first have to establish in a hierarchy what attributes in children are most beneficial as adults. We're unlikely to agree on that because that will be opinion. Once we establish that, then we would have to find metadata of studies that contrast those attributes in both single parent households and two parent households. Then, once we've done that we can draw vague inferences from that data while necessarily conceding that this can't be applied to every family of either group. And then, even after we do that, it's not going to change anyone's mind.

This is why I tend to stay away from controversial topics here because I deal with them 12 hours a day as a research scientist. Hell, I can't even prove to the Japanese medical profession that they should categorize suicide as a pathology and that seems obvious. But the fact is, viewpoints are very difficult to change. And in fact, I really don't want to change anyone's viewpoint. I'm old enough at this point to realize this is how the world is and I much prefer to connect with people on the things we can agree on... like cats, Pokemon and Vince McMahon. This sort of merges my work life and social life and that's pretty freaky to me because I do depressing work.

So yeah, this isn't something that will be brought to a definite conclusion one way or the other.

 

[Red Rain]

Everything you said makes perfect sense but doesn't refute the only point I was trying to make and that is that a single parent CAN raise a child as emotionally and psychology healthy as a two parent household. Of course there will be inconsistencies and exceptions on BOTH sides. That's the very reason I didn't want to do this debate to begin with. I can find information to support both of our positions and this will be an exercise in futility.

Technically, to prove either viewpoint, we have to do more than just find some data that shows how the single parent family differs from the two parent family. I WISH psychology was that easy. No, in fact, we would first have to establish in a hierarchy what attributes in children are most beneficial as adults. We're unlikely to agree on that because that will be opinion. Once we establish that, then we would have to find metadata of studies that contrast those attributes in both single parent households and two parent households. Then, once we've done that we can draw vague inferences from that data while necessarily conceding that this can't be applied to every family of either group. And then, even after we do that, it's not going to change anyone's mind.

This is why I tend to stay away from controversial topics here because I deal with them 12 hours a day as a research scientist. Hell, I can't even prove to the Japanese medical profession that they should categorize suicide as a pathology and that seems obvious. But the fact is, viewpoints are very difficult to change. And in fact, I really don't want to change anyone's viewpoint. I'm old enough at this point to realize this is how the world is and I much prefer to connect with people on the things we can agree on... like cats, Pokemon and Vince McMahon. This sort of merges my work life and social life and that's pretty freaky to me because I do depressing work.

So yeah, this isn't something that will be brought to a definite conclusion one way or the other.

If parents (or parent) truly desire to raise a child well, they can certainly do it.

Whether the child develops a resentment for the parents (or parent) is an interesting topic. It is an entirely feasible to raise a civically responsible adult that later abandons the parent(s).

College could influence a child to dislike the pair bond or even to dislike the patriarchy (or matriarchy) within the family unit altogether.

It's senseless beating yourself up over how your kid behaves once he reaches adulthood. However, this is why a hardline stance such as the nuclear family could potentially breed unforeseen problems as we proceed through the 21st century.

 

[Jacob Fox]

Everything you said makes perfect sense but doesn't refute the only point I was trying to make and that is that a single parent CAN raise a child as emotionally and psychology healthy as a two parent household. Of course there will be inconsistencies and exceptions on BOTH sides. That's the very reason I didn't want to do this debate to begin with. I can find information to support both of our positions and this will be an exercise in futility.

Technically, to prove either viewpoint, we have to do more than just find some data that shows how the single parent family differs from the two parent family. I WISH psychology was that easy. No, in fact, we would first have to establish in a hierarchy what attributes in children are most beneficial as adults. We're unlikely to agree on that because that will be opinion. Once we establish that, then we would have to find metadata of studies that contrast those attributes in both single parent households and two parent households. Then, once we've done that we can draw vague inferences from that data while necessarily conceding that this can't be applied to every family of either group. And then, even after we do that, it's not going to change anyone's mind.

This is why I tend to stay away from controversial topics here because I deal with them 12 hours a day as a research scientist. Hell, I can't even prove to the Japanese medical profession that they should categorize suicide as a pathology and that seems obvious. But the fact is, viewpoints are very difficult to change. And in fact, I really don't want to change anyone's viewpoint. I'm old enough at this point to realize this is how the world is and I much prefer to connect with people on the things we can agree on... like cats, Pokemon and Vince McMahon. This sort of merges my work life and social life and that's pretty freaky to me because I do depressing work.

So yeah, this isn't something that will be brought to a definite conclusion one way or the other.

I should add that I didn't think anyone was trying to refute my point. I worded that very poorly. So my apologies for that. And any frustration is directed at the psychological community NOT anyone here. So many apologies if that came across that way.

If parents (or parent) truly desire to raise a child well, they can certainly do it.

Whether the child develops a resentment for the parents (or parent) is an interesting topic. It is an entirely feasible to raise a civically responsible adult that later abandons the parent(s).

College could influence a child to dislike the pair bond or even to dislike the patriarchy (or matriarchy) within the family unit altogether.

It's senseless beating yourself up over how your kid behaves once he reaches adulthood. However, this is why a hardline stance such as the nuclear family could potentially breed unforeseen problems as we proceed through the 21st century.

Honestly I'd find it very difficult to even attempt to word it any better than this.

 

[Jacob Fox]

Just wait until the cats take over the world... I mean....

Honestly I'd be a lot happier if Dru was running the world. Ichigo, not so much... but definitely Dru

 

[Jacob Fox]

He will likely reply when he gets up (sleeping meow).

To me I believe it is a bad idea to raise a child alone. If you had the option to not do it, it is a better option. I will leave my emotions out of this and my own experiences and explain why. A lot of it is down to stress. Emotional stress, physical stress, and financial stress. When you are a single parent you have to constantly juggle social life, work, family, the child (or children), personal (dating), and income.

When you take in to account how the economy is right now (and has been for the last 10 years) and how hard it is for people to find work (and in some cases keep it), that alone makes it even harder. Looking from the outside in, anyone can see this would be harder mentally but because I know you are a skeptic, here is a short study done on the mental hardships faced by single mothers due to income and lack of social support: Mental health problems among single and partnered mothers. The role of financial hardship and social support. - PubMed - NCBI

I won't pretend I know everything or know of all the experiences of single parents (particularly mothers) out there but because of financial struggles, being a two parent system is made harder, and beyond that a single one being even more so.

Does this make sense? Children can grow up to be mentally healthy adults, but it isn't always the kids who suffer this system of parenting.

That's fine I didn't expect him to be up or even get back to me right away. This is one of those things that will take a bit of work