[video=youtube;NN-iTguR2cc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN-iTguR2cc[/video]
The theme of Chris Jericho shakes the PA as the crowd boo in response, and the set in the ring indicates that it's time for none other than the Highlight Reel. The CWF World Heavyweight Champion walks out from the curtain with the title slung over his shoulder and his his swagger incomporable, as he strolls down with the straightest face to perhaps ever appear on national television. He reaches the ring and climbs up the steps, onto the apron, and through the ropes, walking in front of the screen, staring out to the people in this arena.
Jericho:Welcome to the Highlight Reel, I'm in a good mood, so let's recap what's been going on lately. As you can see, I am the CWF World Heavyweight Champion, and that is because I am the BEST in the World at what I do. Now, my guest tonight...he also likes to think he's the best. His delusions of grandeur aside, he's proven himself to be competent in the ring now and again, although he has the tendency to act like a spoiled brat, and frankly, the sight of him makes me regret breathing. So, without further ado.
Jericho sits on one of the stools available and motions at the titantron. There's another stool next to him, with another microphone placed on the seat, as suddenly a theme song rings out that causes a huge pop from the crowd.
LOOK IN MY EYES!
[video=youtube;PqUl6n92DJg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqUl6n92DJg[/video]
CM Punk emerges from the back to a massive roar/pop.
He doesn't do his typical "it's clobbering time" and similar gestures, however, he walks down the ramp with a grin on his face telling something to his fans. His facial expression tells the whole story: "I'm back". Jericho you better don't piss him off. He'll kick your savior ass. That's pretty much all you need to know about his entrance. Anyways, he walks his way to the ring, raises a microphone he brought with himself and kicks the epicness of 2011 off.
CM Punk:
Why such a stoneface Chrissy? You mad? Sad? Happy? Let's fix that, before I say anything I'll promise you I'll make you be in a mood, because that certainly is NOT a good mood as you said!
Fans randomly pop, because it's CM Punk. He continues.
However, ladies and gentlemen, it's official- don't you interrupt me Jericho, I know you couldn't care less- I'm full time back in CWF! Now, no, it's not that anything has changed, it's the fact that I couldn't stand the spamming done by Vinnie Mac himself and Johnny L too, so apparently we somewhat agreed on a new deal, so yeah.
Fans pop again. For basically no reason.
Anyways. I've been informed that Chrissy here invited me to be the guest of his show, because he probably thinks it's, the way he'd say it, "froot". I somewhat however still reckon that it's much "frooter" than when Christina here got raped by a ladder back in 2004.. So yeah, here I am. Now before I pass the word to your so called "host" of this.. "show", I've got something on my mind here. Chrissy.. I'd like to correct you. The fact that I call myself the best, and that you call yourself the best is cool to me. However, it's ARE NOT the same. You see, both of us are right though. I am the best.. THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. You are THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO.. which is right, you are THE BEST at being the most annoying, boring, idiotic, ponderous, unamusing, draggy, dreary, humdrum, call it however the hell you want, boring champion. I said boring twice, I know, don't you correct me, Jericho. Hell you are still the only champion that made me fall asleep during his promo, for the sake of God! Anyways.. I'll make myself feel comfortable, you okay with that?
Fans cheer again as Punk smiles and takes a seat on one of his chairs.
So apparently he is, and if he isn't I don't care, it's still my show, boys and girls. Now.. what did you want from me Jericho?
Jericho stares at Punk like he's said something completely ridiculous, but decides to sit down down on the other chair. He talks while doing so.
Jericho:Pardon me, but I think I may have missed the part where I was supposed to take you seriously. Among the sea of childish puns and cheap shots, it must've gotten lost. But you've once again, made quite a mistake, Punk. The only man in this ring who's worthy of being called the Best Wrestler in the World, is me. I am the Best in the World at What I do, and that's whatever I choose to do, and I choose to wrestle, and I've PROVEN that I'm the Best. Unlike you, I don't need to try and hold the company at ransom to try and attain another title shot. Because you see, unlike you, I don't lose in one on one matches with 52 year old men. I beat Finlay, I beat Batista, I beat Edge, I beat Matt Hardy, I beat Sheamus. Anyone that was relevant on this show has been cascaded to the side because I'm downright better than them. I fail to see how it's still your show when I'M the champion, and you don't even seem to want to be on it. But that aside...
Jericho leans to the left slightly in the chair, the World Championship over his shoulder. He has a table in front of him, and decides to lay the World Heavyweight Championship right across it. He smiles up at Punk looking rather smug and starts off again.
Jericho:That aside, I'm interested, Punk. Interested in what you've been doing. You've been parading yourself around here as The Best in the World, as an honest man, although we all know who the honest one is in this ring, the one who, when he says he's going to win a title, he does it. But what interests me is your downright, what seems to be, hatred of management and authority. There's been a few guys like that. There has been Christian, Matt Hardy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and now you. Two of those men I've beaten and the other is on Honour, so I think I know how to deal with your type. I deal in the truth, Punk. And what I want is the truth, I want to know why you do what you do. THAT'S why you're out here. Now, are you going to answer my inquiry, or are you going to throw a bunch more childish remarks at me?
Jericho leans on the table with the microphone in his hand and raises his eyebrow inqusitively at CM Punk.
CM Punk picks it up from that point.
CM Punk:
Now let me correct you a bit, Jericho. I'm here BECAUSE I WANT TO. Not because you want me to do this and do that and similar crap. Anyways, back to the topic. Back to the topic 'Why am I doing what I am doing'. If you meant wrestling, well I am wrestling because I want to do things at which I am the best in the world. In my opinion I have proven to the world, to CWF that I am the best. No one was ever in CWF undefeated such long as I was. Again, I have proven that I am the best, which gained me my title shot. Which I have unfortunately lost. Well, I'm not here to analyze my Starrcade match, but-uh, I'm pretty sure I've got screwed right there, and I'm not a little whining whore so I'm not going to whine, but I'll move on. However, that match almost ended my career, because I was diagnosed with 5 broken ribs and a possible broken neck, plus my spine got permanently damaged from that point, and I was to be honest quite sure that that was the last time you've seen CM Punk in CWF.. plus there was a real lot of anal licking backstage, which disgusted me and therefore I left. My phone was spammed during the time I've spent rehabilitating from my injuries and after several surgeries, I was somehow cleared to return, but the problem is that I did not want to.. so why am I doing this.. I am doing this because I know that I am the best and I will be the best, because I was the PAST, I am the 'NOW' and I'll be the FUTURE.
Fans somehow pop again.
Now what's one of my problems here tonight is that I am sitting on this very chair face to face with Chris Jericho who went and mocked my retirement after I left, just because he didn't have the balls to do it when I was in the ring. See, even CM Punk can get serious. And due to all of the aforementioned, I desperately wish to kick your ass. And believe me, your inches away from the asskicking of your life. See, this very belt on this very table is yours just due to the fact that you got lucky, you lost almost all of your weekly matches in I don't know how long, because I don't freakin' care about Chris Jericho, plus you are an annoying little bitch whose face I really, really wish to stamp with my knee, and that very title belongs to the best, and the best am I. I'll spoil the surprise now a bit and I'll tell you that next week on WAR a huge battle royal is happening and the winner of it is facing Chris Jericho at Cyber Sunday. Guess who's gonna make his in-ring return and Bushwhacker Luke is the wrong answer, because the Chicago Made Punk is ready to bring in his A-game again.. so if all of that was not booked for next week, I'd just simply challenge you for the title just for the, as internet marks would say 'lulz' and to take it where it should be. That's why I am competing. I mean, you are more experienced and a pretty good wrestler and such, in fact when I was an amateur, you were headlining WWF shows, which is unquestionably impressing and incomparable with my wrestling experience at that point, but past was the past and will be the past forever, but now is now and I am pretty sure that these people want to see who is better NOW.
The crowd pop for the idea of a fight as Jericho simply smirks and lifts his microphone looking condescendingly at Punk.
Jericho:Well, wasn't that a mouthful? Let me help you out here, the reason I deserved a title shot is because I beat Finlay, the Then-World Heavyweight Champion. Something you seem to be incapable of doing. You really don't want to fight me, Punk. Do you know why? Because you're so caught up in yourself and this idea that you're the best wrestler in the world, that you don't actually know what it's like to be in a FIGHT. I've been in a fight, Punk. The Elimination Chamber, I threw Edge through a pod, I punched glass in Matt Hardy's face, and I stuck it in Batista's throat, those three men were supposed to be the most dangerous, hardcore, and unstable in the chamber, and I brutalized each and every one of them. And that's the thing Punk, you aren't the past, the now, or the future. Because you see, in the past all you were was just another hack, an internet darling, a character incapable of achieving anything himself, your world title reigns were mostly due to Money in The Bank cash-ins, from winning a match I invented. NOW, you're still that talentless hack, but you threatened a company and used a bit more cursing on television, so they let you pass and you found yourself with a world championship opportunity. But once again, you proved exactly why you just can't cut it, Punk. You lost, because you're a liar, I won the World Heavyweight Championship, like I said I was going to do, because I'm an honest man.
Jericho leans back in the chair and looks at Punk almost in disappointment.
Jericho:Punk, if I want to make fun of the fact that you took one injury and thought you were going to have to retire, I'll do it as much as I damn well please. I'm speaking to your face now, and I'm telling you, you are nothing. You are an amoeba, you're a parasite, you are the insect beneath my shoe. You say this title belongs to you, well last I checked it belongs to the man who's actually capable of winning it, Punk. The only word you got right when talking about me and you, is incomparable, because let's face it, compared to me, you are but a speck on the wrestling world, and you always will be. You try everything to make yourself better, you try and make yourself better than everyone with a Straight Edge lifestyle, you try and do it by calling yourself the Best in the World, and now you try and do it by insulting THE Best in the World at what he does on national television, and inching that much closer to that broken neck being for real. Everything you do, your lifestyle, your facial expressions, your childish temperament, your wrist tape. All it is is a pathetic attempt to make yourself seem better than what you really are, a worthless, lying slug. I am the only honest man in this company, in this entire business, so kindly explain to me why, in any kind of fathomable logic, you think you're the best in the world.
Punk smiles and looks like he's going to speak, but Jericho leans over the table and manages to nail him in the forehead with the microphone. The crowd boo even louder know, as Jericho tips over the table and advances on Punk, pulling him to his feet and looking to hit him with the microphone again, but Punk ducks, and has Jericho on shoulders and quickly nails him with a Skull cracking GTS! Jericho collapses to the mat as the crowd pop loudly and chant Punk's name. Punk eyes the World Heavyweight Championship and picks it up, putting his foot on the downed Jericho and shouting "KING OF THE WORLD!" while raising the title. He laughs and drops the title back on the champion as he gets out of the ring and strolls back up the ramp. Jericho seems to shake the cobwebs and stares over at the man who just left him lying as WAR fades to commercial.
